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SATURDAY, MARCH 31 . 1883.
A ItKIDAIi TRIP.
Noiu of tbe I run Mai tli;il n Wentem
From Pock's Sun.
"Say, wliat kind of a hotel do you
keep?" said a green-looking man, as he
stepped up to llic counter and registered
his name and added "and wife" after it.
"Can a newly married couple settle
down here for two or three days and
have a quiet Ivisit Iwitli each other
and not he scared out of their boots?'
The hotel man said they could fro right
to their rooms and etay there three days
orlthree weeks, and never come out to
their meals if they didn't want anything
"but wnai is me matter r nave you
been annoyed f asked me lintel man.
"Annoyed! that don t expresss it. We
were married day before yesterday at
St. nUL and went to a Hotel.
'I live about W miles west of St. Paul,
and the traveling men put up a job to
make me tired. There were about 100
of them snowed in at St. Paul, and I'll
be darned if they didn't keep us awake
all night. They knew we were a bridal
couple, and they bribed the bell boys
and porters to let them act for them,
and when we rang the bell for the boy a
drummer for a Chicago cigar factory
came in and wanted to know what was
wanted. I ordered a pitcher of ice water
and a Milwaukee drummer for a grocery
house brought it in, aud he looked at
my wife, who is bashful, and made her
feel real bad.
"I didn't know they were drummers
until next day or I should have killed
some of them. I rung the bell for coal,
and a traveling man who posts railroad
cards around and works up excursions
came in aud fixed the fire and stayed
and poked it for half an hour. He asked
so many question about how long we
had been married that I wanted to
thump him; but my wife said we didn't
want to have no row the first day we
were married. I rung for a chamber
maid to clean up the room and brinar
some towels, and it was half an hour be
fore she came; and I went to the office
to see about my trunk, and the chamber
maid stayed about half an hour and was
very interesting, and my wife said she
was a real pleasant, affectionate sort of
creature, far above her station, and I tell
you I was mad when I found out that it
was smooth-faffed, handsome young Jew
ish drummer for a Milwaukee clothing
house who was in with the gang, and he
gave the chambermaid $3 to loan him
an old dress so he could play chamber
maid. When my wife told me that the
chambermaid patted her on the cheek
and said that she was the sweetest bride
that was ever in that hotel and asked
her for a kiss, and my wife said she
thought it would be no harm to kiss a
a poor chambermaid and encourage her,
I wanted to kill him, and I went down
to the office the next morning but the
smooth-faced cuss had gone to Fargo.
It was all the landlord could do to hold
me. Well, while we were at supper
somebody got into the room and put
cracker crumbs into our bed and we
found a cold oilcloth floor mat over the
top sheet, enough to freeze anybody. But
the worst was at night. We had just
got comfortably into bed when there
was a knock at the door and I got up,
and the watchman was there and he
said he wanted to point out to me the
fire escape, so I could get out in case of
fire; and I went out in the hall, and he
took me way out to the end of the build
ing to show it to me, and while I was
looking out of the window my wife came
running down the hall and begging me
to save her. I asked her what was the
matter, and she said as soon as I went
out a man that looked like a porter came
into the room and told her to fly and
save herself and to follow her husband.
She felt awful when she found there was
nojtrouble.and we got back in our bedhalf
froze. 1 have got tliem tellows down
fine. The fellow who called me out to
to look at the Are escape is a drummer
for a Philadelphia millinery house, and
the one that scared my wife out of her
wits travels for a hoarse factory at
Rochester, N. Y. My wife says she
would know him, because he has a big
gray mustache and wears a diamond
collar button in his shirt. She said she
thought he was prettey stylish for a por
ter at the tune. They woke us up sever
al times in the night to tell us what to
do in caso we were sick, and in the
morning, before we were up, a waiter
brought up our breakfast, lie said the
landlord sent it up, and he just stood
around until we had to sit up in hed and
eat breakfast. I thought at the time
that it was kind in the landlord to send
up our breakfast, but when 1 found that
the waiter who brought it up was'a travel
ing man for a reaper factory at Rock
ford, and remembered how darned im-
f indent he looked at my wife, I could
lave murdered him,fbut the clerk said he
had gone to Winnipeg. It was just about
as bad coming down here on the sleep
ing car, and 1 think half the passengers
on the car were those same drummers
that were snowed in. It was colder than
Alaska, and I would order extra blankets
and they would steal them. I had about
20 blankets put on my bed, and in the
morning there was nothing but a sheet
over us. And every time there was a
blanket spread over us there was a dif
ferent porter put it on, and 1 think all
were traveling men. Every little while
somebody would pull open the curtains
and sit down on my berth and begin to
pull off his boots, and I would tell him
the berth was occupied and that he must
have made a mistake, and he would look
around at us as innocent as could be and
ask our pardon and then go out an !
damn the porter. Once I felt somebody
feeling about my berth and I asded
what was the matter, and the fellow
said ho was looking for wife's shoes to
black. Then about every fifteen minutes
the conductor would open the curtains
and hold a red lantern in and ask for
our tickets. 1 think they punched my
THE NORTHERN TRIBUNE. MARCH 31. 1883
tickets about sixty-five times. Anyway
it looked like a porous plaster when
got up in me morning. I thins it was
the traveling men who were playing
conductor, but 1 was sleepy and 1
thought the best way was to let them
punch it. Well, about three o'clock in
the morning somebody punched us and
said it was time to get up, as all the
passengers were up, aud we would have
breakfast in fifteen in i miles. And then
we hustled around and got dressed the
best way we could, lying on our backs
and kicking our clothes up in the air
aud catching them on ourselves when
they came down, I got on my pants
wrong side before, and lost everything
out or my pockets, and my wife lost her
hair and had to tie a han kerchief around
her head, and then we had our berths
made up and sat up till daylight, and
the porter found my wife's hair and
pinned it to a curtain of a berth occu
pied by a preacher from Oshkosh, and he
kicked and got mad about it and won
dered how it got there and swore about
it, and 1 think he travels for an Oshkosh
carriage factory. Oh, I never had such
a night, or such two nights in ail my
life, and what I want to know is, if I
can be quiet here and have a little sleep
and not be annoyed."
The hotel man told him if anybody
came around to bother him to knock
them clear down stairs and he would be
responsible, and the colored man show
ed them a room and they have not shown
up since. It is confounded mean in
traveling men to get snowed in and
form a syndicate to have fun. They
will cause themselves to be disliked if
they keep on.
nit: lag; Ait i si runt.
Hr. Peterkin' Alton lion to the
From Harpers' Magazine for April.
Some 20 years ago I do not know how
many exactly, but it was sometime dur
ing the war I heard a story which a
soldier was reading in a newspaper to a
little group around him, to their great
enjoyment. I shall tell it only in brief,
though I remember well, the filling in
was a good part of it, which will be miss
ing in my recital.
Mr. S. C. Peterkin was a prosperous
youngish man of business, who got
ahead in spite of his constitutional mod
esty. This was his way in society rather
than in trade; he was afraid of women
more than men. For a long, long time
he had set his heart ou a beautiful young
lady, whose sweetness was like her name,
which was Violet. He had often called
upon her, and resolved again and again
that he would make her an offer of his
hand and heart, but as often that heart
had failed him. Through the whole of
the evening he would sit and
"Gaze upon her as a star
Whose purity and distance makes it fair."
and come away without making any pro
gress in his suit. At last he became
alarmed by the fact that the dashing
Capt. Latham, of one of the Sound steam
ers, was often at the house when he cal
led to see his charmer, the charming
Violet. At last he eould not bear -the
suspense any longer, and he ventured,
with much hesitancy aud awkwardness,
but with do-or-die determination, to ask
her if she would be his. With remark
able coolness, she replied;
"You should have spoken long ago,
Mr. Peterkin; I have been engaged to
Capt. Latham for some time past, aud
we are to be married very shortly. I am
sorry to disappoint you, but we will be
as good friends as ever, and you muut
come to see me just the same. The cap
tain will always be glad of your com
Peterkin went away sorrowful. But
a brighter day soon dawned, for within
three months alter they were married
the capt iin fell off the steamer in a fog
ou the sound and was drowned. Now
Peterkin took heart. He would have
A year of mourning wore slowly away.
He kept his eye on the widow, but would
not insult the memory of the dead by
proposing until a decent interval had
passed. The year ended, and he again
laid his heart at the little feet of Violet.
She heard him quietly, and quietly re
marked, "My dear Peterkin, 1 am sorry
to disappoint you agaiu, but for the last
six months 1 have been engaged to Dr.
Jones. It was hard to make up my
mind between him and his handsome
friend, Lawyer Bright, but Dr. Jones
was so good to me while I was sick in
the winter after my husband's death
that I promised him I would be his at
the end of the year."
So poor Peterkin retired once more;
the widow Latham became Mrs. Dr.
Jones, aud so remained, while the dis
comfited Peterkin wished that the doctor
might take enough of his own pills to
put an end to him.
Time passed on. Peterkin was walk
ing down Broadway one day, while not
very far ahead of him he saw two men,
one of whom he knew to be this hated
Dr. Jonea. A large flat stone was beinar
hoisted to the coping of a new building;
the rope gave way; it fell and instantly
killed the two men. Peterkin rose to
the emergency of the moment. For the
dead he could be of no avail. His
thoughts were on the widow. Returned;
he ran, he flew, to her abode. When she
entered the room where he awaited her
he began :
"My dear Mrs. Jones, I bring you dread
ful news. I was walking on the street,
when I saw a stone fall from a house
upon your husband, and he is dead; but
you must let me comfort you. I beg you
now to be mine, my dear Violet, at fast."
"Dear Mr. Peterkin, I am so sorry! but
when Dr. Jones and Mr. Hright were
both begging to marry me. I took the
doctor, and promised Mr. Bright if any
thing happened to Jones. I would cer
tainly be his. So you see I am engaged.
I am sorry, for I do think a great deal of
you, my dear Peterkin."
Peterkin was very calm and self-constrained.
He said, "And you will
promise to be mine when that lawyer is
"Certainly I will, with all ray heart
"Then come to my arms, my Violet, for
the same stone that killed the doctor
was the death of Bright, and you are
mine at last!"
Arbor Day, 1888.
To the People rf the state of Michigan.
At a session of the legislature for the
year 1881 the following resolution was
Resolved, That his excellency the governor
be and is hereby requested to call the attention
of the people of the state to the importance of
planting trees for ornament, protection aud
shade, hy naming a day upon which this work
shall be given special prominence, to be known
and designated as "Arbor Day."
While, iu view of the economic and
climatic advantages, the importance of
tree-planting can hardly be overestimat
ed, Arbor Day would seem to more es
pecially designed for such planting as
will tend to make our home surrount
ings more comfortable and plea-ant.
The attractiveness it adds to the home
is no small argument iu its favor in
deed, the difference between a home
shaded by trees, fumishiug delicious
fruits in their season, and whose
branches echo tin songs of birds, and
one where scarcely a tree softens the
surroundings, may be the influence
which shall attract the young to home
duties and home enjoyments, and thus
save them from perilous temptations.
In passing through the state I have
observed with regret that but little at
tention is given to the planting of trees
in school grounds. Indeed, the absence
of trees is one of the surest indications
that a building is used for school pur
poses. Lot me therefore ask that in this
year 1883 especial attention may be paid
to the planting of trees near the school
buildings. The school aud the home,
where the characters of the young are
so largely moulded, should in this re
si oct receive equal care and attention.
JNow, therefore, pursuant to the fore
going resolution, I do hereby designate
Thursday, the 25th day of April, 1883. to
be known and designated as"Arbor Day
and recommeud the general observance
of the same throughout the state.
in testimony whereof. 1 have hereunto
set my hand and caused the great seal
of the state to be hereunto affixed, at
Lansing, this 22d day of March, 1883.
IL. S. JOSIAH. W. BEuOLJS.
By the governor:
Harry A. Conant, Secretary of State.
Is Recommended bv Phy.slcjanai
We manufacture and sell it with a pOSitlVO
guarantee that It will cure any
case, f" we will forfait the above amount
if it fails in a single instance.
It is unlike I'n'v oth'-r Catarrh r-m-1y, as
itis taken Internally, actinS upon
the blood. If you ar6 trouhli-d" iili i this
distressing; disease, ask your Druggist for it, snd
ACCEPT MO IIIITATIOM OB SUBSTITUTE. If U
has not got it, send to us and we will forward
immediately. Price, 75 cents per bottls.
F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo. Ohio.
20th Annual Gift of Premiums
To Sulwcribern of the
Detroit Commercial Advertiser,
Takes place APRIL 25th. Susbscription, $2
per year. Sample copy ami supplement con
taining a partial list of those who have receiv
ed premiums, ami to whom we refer will he
ISM to anyone addressing the puhlisher.
Good agents wanted everywhere.
Wm. H. LURK, Publisher, Detroit, Mich.
PROF. ROBERT S. SWEET
TE AC II Kit 09
Music & Dancing!
Academy in Kesseler Block.
Gents' Class Every Monday Evening
Ladies' aadJuvenile Class Saturdays
Social flop Every Thursday Ereninrj.
Violtn Lessons yiven on Svicnlijivprin
iples. ITIrst Class Orcliestra,
Furnished for all Occasions.
Also dfHlor in all kinds of Musical Merchan
dise. Violins and Violin Strings a specialty
I'crsons MeittinK to prom Of my experience
will do well to iivo mo a call.
For further particulars apply at Academy or
address Box 102. PltOF.K. H. 8WEKT.
V. F. It lii:K, Proprietor.
FRESH OYSTERS SERTED IN
Hnsiiiess Lunch t'ruii 0 to 10 A.
M. Hot Soup Dty and Night.
Poultry in every style. HOARD
by the day or week. Rooms
willi Hoard at reasonable
aates. Hostoii Halted
OPEN NIGHT AND DAY.
50 - CASES - 50
Old Brick Store.
New Fine Dress Goods.
Fall and winter Cloaks.
New Flannels and Kepellants.
New Brocades, Velvets and Satins
New Hosiery and Gloves.
New Yarns (Livingston and Flint).
20 PIECES CARPETS 20
Prices Never Lower.
50 CASES BOOTS AND SHOES 50
Customsrs Never Better Pleased. You will
Save Money by calling and g tting prices.
On 1 and after April 1st, 1882,
We shall discontinue the CREDIT System,
and SELL FOR CASH only. By so doing
we hope to give our customers better bar
gains. Thanking our patrons for past favors,
we shall be thankful for a continuance of
C. F. & W. A. LYNN.
"Mil TAILOR ! "
For The Spring Trade. All the Latest Styles of Fancy Mix-
NOBBY BUSINESS SUITINGS.
Fancy Pantings in Different Shades.
A Fine Line nf French & English Worsteds for Dress Suits.
N K AT DESIGNS FOB
SPRING OVERCOATINGS !
IN THE DIFFERENT GRADES.
Oa.ll -sa-rLd. See Tliem.