SHENANDOAH HEIUI1
IS PUBLISHED WEEKLY BY
UNO, H. SRABILL
' -8UBSCRIPTION
$1.00 Par Y*arf
INVARIABLYJN ADVANCE*
Co^mu^aUons of a private nature
charged for as advertising.
THE HERALD JOB 0PF.CB
1B complete rn every respect. Work
done on short notice and on the
_*. ?.at.n>hle terms.
vm Q2
WOODSTOCK, VIRGINIA. FRIDAY, JANUARY 29,1909.
NU 4
Shenandoah Herald
Advertising Rates
Advertisements will be insert?
ed at one dollar per fc^uare ol
ten lines or k-us, lor tue ni bl in
sertion, and 60 cents lor each
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atST Quarterly or yearly adver?
tisements by contract.
ffjr Unless the number ot laser
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Beript, advertisements will u< pi
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accord! n/Iv
PROFESSIONAL CARDS
J. U WILLIAMS. WM. T. WILLI 4Mb
CD 1LLIAA1S & BROTHER,
Attorneys-at-Law,
WOODfilOl K, VA.
Praciioe in all the Conrta >t Shenan?
doah and adjoining c. u .liJS. 'nj'8"
pren.* Court of Appeals, eua mtbe e, u
cu aau Dlasnas Cum , ot the Unit^i
Bl ?f-Q? .? ??,? ool
?SST Spacial attention Bleats the col
lectio i of claims. __ s?atlP?'???y
M.ta Walton, Collection
K. U.Newma Department.
w. l. Nkwman. " ...
Notary Public
\YALTONA WALTON,
Attoi neys-at-Law,
WOODSTOCK VA.
I'rnctice in State and Federal Courts.
Oar SD
f, 8. rAVi.N.NLu J. M. U .1 nKWMAN
T\A\KNN?K & BAU8KRMAN,
Mtorne ys-at-La vt*,
WOODSTOCK. VA.
J nb 21. i*3-lv.
I IOU EL BORDEN
Attorney-at-Law
Beana praotteein ISIS. Owner aaC Maaaaex
of 1i ? -
Juatmenl Agency, estal Lit bed IMS. ?
* ? uandoan Co., Virginia.
Tiav li'Uo?ivr
|*"t li. BRUMBAC K
IITO.1l! AND COKNCELOR AT LAWV
c^* 0 - . ?? k, VlRGlXIi.
',l eondjtioor, Merchantje anc Far
m<. rs Hat k building.
-oe.
K
B.WILLIAMS
W'oodstock, - - Virginia.
e MMONWKAI.HI'S ATTORN KY FOB
SEKNAN;k)aH COUNTY,
w mattee,
irket every Saturday.
yyi. .i. ii s^ioot,
naving located ri Wooostcck, can Le
found a* ;. nee on North Muhlenbura
treat, tba late- reaidenoe of br. j. L. Cami
*?oen ni t professionally eaaai
au*. -3 -lvr.
D
li. D. I) ?'ARTER
Office ^^.* u - th Mah E>
\Te~^ .-tfPOCK, VlRAlN'lA,
HTSj-'daJ attention giver to Sui
*erv. Phone Call 38.
'ulv30-tf
[)U .! Li RUSH,
WOODSTOCK, VA.
Bal ibliehed in 1889. Ofllee
liam ssseei. Terms cash.
May "^~lyr.
qi;. W. S. CLINK,
Hisident Physician
Sjr Calla auawered tay or ok ht.
O^ and residence North Mai
Steel. Maroh 4?t
QK.T. K. LOOKB?
Resident Dentist,
O.nci Main Sr., Woodstock, V
Ctr ' MB "'i. either and cocait
is-d for paid tceettraotlonof teetfe.
Deo. .16?1
BERBER SHOP.
Cou kt St., Woodstock Va.
Warden Fravel* Prop
%W Prompt attention riven to ali cusi
a^ers
A Share of the public patrons^ <
ti!
WOODSTOCK
GARBLE WORK!
WOODbTOVK, VA
p Monuments, Tombs and all Kli
of Comsterv Work
Lowta! jr. as Vallee, Give
ic.
c U. SNVOEf
~T N. DAVIS & CO.,
rn l mil bk
WOODSTOCK, VIRGINIA
We have? over one hundred valuable proper
or sale la Virginia, embracing larre
a nail farms, Town Property, Mills, lin
and Timber lands, store stands and stock
merchandise. If yon want to aell j
rop-rty quickly- price <t at a rta*>
g9*1" an.il send tof us.and we will do th
* ?rite tor CatalO^Me nov. ac
Farms For Sale
An rx eel lent Farm cf 135 acr*
land, ^ood buildings, well wat
and fenced, 3 miles from Kail f
I'rice emit S4,000.
Ad excellent small farm of 27 a
of good land well watered, good
and good new dwelling with bay
dow and all necessary out bul id
3 miles from Rail Road Price 12
A good smsll home of ll acr
line land, about 100trees of fine f
good dwelling in good neighborh
4 miles from Kail Road. 1
$1060?all on easy payments. A
io J. N. DANIS A GO.,
Estate Agents
Woodstock, 1
*IVU %//?*J A^iieves nour ala
g*prtvwr*fr'~L* thfaattvual/c
i.
Impossible to be Well
It is impossible to be well, imply impossible, if the
bowels are constipated. You nust pay attention to the
laws of nature, or suffer the consequences. Undigested
material waste products, poisonous substances, must be
removed from the body at least once each day, or there
will be trouble. A sluggish liver is responsible for an
immense amount of suffering and serious disease. Ask
your doctor about Ayers Pills. He knows why they act
directly on the liver. Trust him. jrC.AyeTCoTXoweilMau.
C . H, WM
listorlin Grote
?..irv wu
Ithnitt
afraid t" i. - ff In .-'
? ? \v:is j
Uer ! *\ cr v. I
? without
il lt : \ Smith
?r lord In his
? l Oo !:.Ue' thom both
BO I IB
n p ?;.
Sartorial Monstrosities.
There are men we weet every day
wb ? ? such Bartoiial linen io
Bim ? ' ? ?'? ?i>alr. We have
t<. such monstrous combina?
tions as brown l??>t?< and frock coate,
silk bats anil lounge suit< and frock
c-e>nt> and bowlen, and wc are even
nerving ouraelvea to tba expectatlou
c.f seeing a kihee] highlander In a silk
"topper.*?London out ti it cr.
Practical.
"A young man baa telegraphed me
he baa Jual wedded my daugh?
ter."
??1 ? | d practical man."
"1 pruess he is. He wired me col
? " Kanona t 'it v Independent.
A HAPPY
HOME
ls one where health abounds.
With Impure blood there can?
not be good health.
With a disordered LIVER there
cannot be good blood.
TatfsPills
revivify the torpid LIVER and restore
lt* natural action.
A healthy LIVER means pure
blood_ sae
Pure blood means health.
Health moans happiness.
Take no Substitute. All Druggists.
MARKETS
Woodstock, Va., Jan. 20, 19
(Corrected weeklj bj F. s. Bowman.
Wheat. SI
Oats.
Corn.
Potatoes..
Sweet Potatoes. 1
Turkeys.,.
Chickens old.
'* sprintr.
V-S* s.,.
Bitter.
Bacon, Side and Shoulder_
Hams.
Lard.
Onions.
LIVE STOCK MARKETS.
00
.66
.70
.7->
.00
.11!
-
.OH
.51
19
.12
.lo
.11
Sales days foT Live Stock are ag follows:
Mondays-:iheep, Hogs and Cattle,
Tuesdays?Cattle.
[All Live Stock sold gross weight."!
Baltimore 'Jan. as.
Cattle?Receipts for the week anded* ;?c
BOOB unlay were ;.;ji head, against r.F;* he?d
l;**t we ek; 71 car loads on the market.
Steers, troe.d tt> choice butchers, $4 50 to JU 10,
others, le -1 to $4 5"; Cows, fl$oto *\< 75: hulls
0 ?3.7'j:Heiter.?,#3.'J5 to ?4 90; tresh Cows,
$2 to$55 per head.
Hoga- BaoaiPta for the week ended at r.o->n
today were 24 7^5 head, against is/x.2 noad last
week.Fair supply today and mode-rate demand
Quote: Westerns it jo tc> 6 85 others, $6.25 to
roogaa, j- * to 6<*>.
Sheep and I Hint _,?Receipts for the week
at n' un to today were 10,239 head
against 7 ?-2 head last week. Light supply
and fcc.r demand, ejuote- Lambs, $4.75
to ' 2- Sheep. $a<o to 5. ?.
Calves--Receipts for the week er.Jed at
noon today were head, 5*3 against .'37 head
last week. Hair supply today and market
firm. Ouote: CommoD to best, f$<*. to 8.75.
FOR SALE*?A comparatively new
live room dwelling ar.d lot on Nortn
Muhlenburg street. 1'iioe very low
to quick buyer. Apply to J. N. Davis
\ ( ??., Heal Instate Agents, Wood
lc*. Va.
a
Monroe Funkhouser,
AGENT FOR
I
Mutual Fire Insurance
He is usually found at
Office Wood stock, Va
Dee J<? ?0] tf.
the Clerke
VHS OF VIRGINIA, I
kim
BHEN, CIRCUIT COURT, |
Tn Vacation Deoeaeber 1">. !
H. I). Punkhoui I npli.
aGAUfftl I In ('nance: y
ABOS Byan and ott Defts.
'Hie objed of this suit i> to elivid
that part of the lands of which Joh
Ryan died seized and possessed know
the Lindaniood traet, aroona tho*
e-ntitlenl thereto.
lt ap}>eariny hy ullidavjt that thc <h
f end ants .1 oil ii Ky an and Thomas My
un are non-* ? te ol this State
In ttaarefors ordered that 111 ? -\ <1<? ai
near within fifteen days after due pul
lion of this notice in the Clerk
(Moa of our said Court, and de> whi
ls nee**aaai v to protect their intereate
(.HU. W. MILKY, 1). Clk. for
IA. B. WI-NI) Kli, Clerk.
Jan. H.?4w. W. W. Logan.
House tor sale.
A seven room house on Muhleohei
street. It contains i??ven tooma,
bath room, caller ano-. baseine
kitchen. Apply to s
?a* Cl HBOCKl!fc
A Reasonable Excuse.
Bridget," s.-iid .Mrs. Bubbuba stern
"braakfaat ls hall an hour late
lin."
Vis. mini," returned Hridget moeit
?What excuee bare you to offer?
W know 1 told JTOU that Mr. Bub*
bs muet catch thal early train, and
actuality at breakfast is absolutely
seaary,*1 said the hu\.
'Sure .1:1' Ol oTerahlep' meallf,*1 said
?Idget
"That is no excuse.'* said lhe mls
tmm, "1 gare you an alarm clock
ly yesterday."
'Ol know that, mini."
"I Md you wind it up?"
"Ol did."
"And didn't lt ko off?"
"Sure an' it did that. It made n tar?
die n'lae "
"Then why didn't y<iu gel apT*
"Sure, mini." responded llrideet tenr
iliy. -it waa that t'lmr that's made
1 the throuble. Ol ni'. ? r ahlep' a
Ink nil night waltln' for it to go off,
f whin it did ni was thai tolred Ol
?uldn't move."- Harper's Weekly.
To Cure Wrinkles.
"1.00k nt a paralytic if yon think
Tinkles Incurable,** said a beauty doe*
>r. "On the side he is paralyzed all
is wrinkles disappear. Though be he
Sty ?>r seventy, his profile on that
ide is the profile of a youth. 80 the
aralytie shows us how t?> cure our
Tinkles?namely, hy keeping our ta?
ni muscles atm. If we keep our faces
1 perfect repose, never laughing when
be comedian Binga his best son-,', nev*
r weeping when wife <.r sweetheart
ies. we will have no wrinkles what
vcr. The skin wouldn't wrinkle if lt
rere not exposed. Thc' skin cf thc
ody is much disturbed Ly action <<f
he muscles underneath as at M.
? el this ui
kin Not being ex
used to the 1 -1 Influence cf sun an<3
rind, lt bas not l"st tbe < v. and thc
Instlclty ->f childhood. And that';
vhe-ro I come in with my creams an<!
inguents and n " ? New 1 ir
cans Tlmee-Denn 1
Taming Patti.
Patti was t?> sin}: on a certain dati
n Bucharest, hut at the last ?
die declined to leave Vienna, lt wa
?>ld; snow everywhere-: she wonli
not rNk catching her death of
M. Bchurmann, the Imprei
:iir until a brilliant Insplrntlo
fame to him. Quickly he telegraphei
t<> the :\el\ ai ::t In the Re
nlan capital: "At whatever cost rat!
must recelie an oration at Ba I
station from the Italian aristocracy
Send nu* Ly return the following vin
*Th?' members of tl. ? Italian anil 1: 1
manlan nobility are preparing t<
Mme. Patti a mts Iflcenl rcceptloi
The' ministry viii ie repn d Pn
ilona, tor?-i,es ? ri band
graph the hour o ' ni rival.' "
vance agent tarried out this i
tlon. and when the telej
to him over tia- wires arrlred in V
enna it was handed to patti, with tl
desired <-nV.-t. "How chsrmli
murmured. "What tin:" do we -tart'
His Wonderful Invention.
Australia, as ls well known,
fested with rabi its. a most destruct 1'
and multitudinous pest. Not long 1
a ? .an Invented thc following plan:
Yon gO e.lit il.to the' lie-lel ffum Will
the rabblta are to be removed Y
saw down a tree, and on th.- slant
tl ? stump y< 'i 1 alni a I
Then you keep very quiet, so that \
rabbits will come back from their ht
rows anil feed as usual. When
large enon rh number has collected j
clap your han.is sharply. 1
will he e-!e- tri -. The rnbhfts will hr
lu linste fc*r their I nrrows At le!
,.: ? i- - 11' > to I i '.ike thc
f. r \\'< hole 1 i make for it. Invar
:, bc a 111 C 1 -h his brains < nt. T
process, rep I 1 ften ew ugh,
? I to exterminate the rah
forei er.
The rep ;??< do not h
there are ina rabblta left in Anstra
Twin Place.
One day an < '<! sn fl
found the lara rlllage :?t the w??r
fnir very absorbing at length ??? mi<
In a young man Standing near "
powerful ni e to watch."
I may say I should he hotter on't
was a tr I d. My jof
??d it's truth i
fad that 1 <' n't featly know wi
.Ia\ ?! is h"re ls lt?"
i ' 'he young 1. tn. with
assures! oui' t < f * nc ti ho enos
a Utile fl Mo ha!" A rp .11
Mal in; lt Crcicr.
; illy bad mel witt
? hr mi ther bad pron
I w he .1 tr lt. The reniova
? d lu il 11"' ?? 1 to he 1 ra
a bk h Jean arah
?
"i'm afraid. Jean, 1 ran*1 gel
bead "fT" said fae mother.
.' r. ( t i with thc Ufl
au Inspiration as she enid:
? Merer maud, iminiaaa. just take
A Teaser.
"There \>* ? . 1 t on which
."> nn Interest''"
"V ' nh|e< 1 H thfl
wll h it ls dirie nit to keep up 1
??
"The n . < ' my house "
To the Point.
Elderly Aunf I supp, se yon wo
v ? I it tie Han*, why I left v
a ati.niptly In thc lane. I saw a
nt and. oh. kew 1 ran! linns? PW
I get hlm?-FllcgemIe Blatter.
Seeing the Scenery.
"Did your wife enjoy the Swiss scen?
ery r
"I don't think she saw a hit of lt
She was kept so husy adjusting t<i
camera,"?Cleveland Tlaln Dealer.
A man that ls young In years may
he nhl In hours if he has lost no time.
?Bacon.
The Cause.
Wife?What was the matter? I
thought yon would break down the
hons... Hushand I dreamed I was
trying to put on my clothes in the up
I>er berth of a Pullman. Life.
Reached Too Far.
"Yes," said the bankrupt, "I lost my
fortune reaching for an Ideal."
"Very Interesting. And what was
your ideal?"
"A bigges fortune than I had."?
Philadelphia Ledger.
Desirable Contributions.
Bulzer?Pennster told me that the
best magazines were clamoring f'>r his
contributions. Knolorham -No woo*
der. He writes full page ads. -Llppln
eott's.
Ambition, like a torrent, ne'er looks
back.?Ben Jonson.
The Bloom on the Egg.
"I know these eggs at least are
freah,M said the yOUUg housewife. "Ai
I took them from the basket a white
bloom, like* the- down of a peach, came
off on my hands."
Her husband, a food expert, .rave n
sneerini: laugh.
"In that case." he said. "I'll fe.r-'g ?
my usual morning omelette. That
bloom, tay dear, proves your ol'-'s te
be a year or so old?maybe four or
five years old.
"The bloom, as you so poetically call
it. ls lime duet. It shows that tin
eggs ure- pickled. Lim.- dust, which
rube off like flour, ls the anreat test
we have for pickled I not un
wholesome arti. le. hut not to be com
pan-d whh t'a> rj w laid sort."?New
Orleans Times I lemocrat
"El
from
drink
"N.
way
Still.'
Wi
tnlni
glad
nie I
and
-Chi
KC
from
A
gOI e'
(Wo
"A
warn
"N
Holli
appe
Mc
will
have
Ima
7h'
5om
*S
-\
mat
City
If
lane
rem
which we
The Riddle.
Here la :i strange riddle
? i.. v ..j- mel l?efore. It
? frlei d from .Jh.msi. India:
hy o. Add two thin ? e |
I
Here ls the, r: C LENSO.
c loo.
L 50.
irds of TEN.
SO : ? I Ile I.-talon S
Changeable Names.
Toni Belle ls i
i ?-?s::'* !.??" . the names of Bonn
Marni That's nothing
Why. I don't e-v.-n know what ;... i wi
wi1! h.- a year from now 1'
Transcript.
The Process.
"You are a pr. pp boy. Tom
my "
"Well, I ought to be Pa ta!:e-s nv
'?ut in the fl ps m.
thr- e. or four times a week " Har
p?r's We. kly.
Carving Scissors.
?*i thought 1 k. . w nil about ada
flory." said Hie man. "I had seen tall*
ors" I , - for .utting heavy cloth.
dr-n-. . : re for cutting filmej
fabrics and lace and still other s> |
tor .utting paper, Unger nails, grape*
vines, all kinds of metals and even fur
shearing sheep, but In spite of that
wide knowledge of actaeon I was puz?
zled when 1 saw the large, peculiarly
shaped pair of scissors lying in the
?ho weal
" 'What are these scissors for? I
asked the clerk.
"Varying meat.' he said. 'With
Bclssors of this kind carving becomes
mere child's play.'
"'I never saw anybody use them.'
said I.
"*Kob0dy does use them,' said tie
clerk -'that is. only a very few. In
Europe caning scissors are populai
because they out right through meat.
gristle, bone and all, hut lt takes a
little practice to learn to manipulate
the things, and nobody In this country
has patience encugh for that.' "?Ex?
change.
the
et
sn y
the
P
ncr
Ki'
me,
er.
r
li
Nat
as
hae
by
fro
cn
on
y. >i
on<
of
cot
do
sal
lt
au
..
mj
In
av
or
nu
A
W
?1
D
Ul
lt.
tl
The Talking Pots.
"Yee, these pots of mine are all
right," said the potter. "They dont
talk, though."
"No pots d..."
"Dont they? I*ook here."
Ile took from the shelf a strance.
crude pot daubed yellow and blue that
had the shape of a duck. He filled it
with water; then he poured the wale,
out again. "Quack, quack, quack!'
said tba pot distinctly. Every gurgle
was a distinct quack. "There's art for
yon," said the potter. "Every gurgle
of that dink pot is a quin-k. Wonder
ful Aztec art! And I have an Aztec
pig pot that grunts like a pig and a
dog pot that barks like a dog. Won
derful chaps, those Aztec potter fel
lows! I wish 1 knew their secret, im?
agine an Aztec banquet." he said aft
er a pause. "Pots Ulled, you know
with v\iiie And every time JTOU pOttl
yourself a drink 'Qnnck!' go the ducks.
'Bowwow" go the dogs. Regular frir.
denionlum!"- New York Tresa.
The Light of the Firefly.
When man will attain the perfe< t
vacuum, then the rude ether hlush of
thc electric light hull) will give forth
many times more light purified and
heatlcHS. d Bealing, as the light
of th'- -tars, punwtrntttlg as the sun
An examination af the tl re fly when
emitting flames or light shows I
movements that cannot he under
to menu anything el-e than vacuum
prod ti' lng. Thc- lights ure alu
in thc vacuum sack on the ha- k. lui
mediately befoft emitting light the
Inflect will flitt.Ti the I.-dy. draw th.*
lega in. droop the hand, seemingly
UaCtla : in all dire -Hoi ' with
the relaxation COOM thc flame and
light. The bodies "f the glowworm
and flretly alway* are transparent
when Ailed with flame The hhid
crass or ether debris a plainly
through the bod les Hen are cases of
nature elealing with X rays-Chiiago
Tribune.
Same Old Jag.
?enezor." called out Mrs. JagWU)
the tle.e.r abore, "hare you heed
lng again'.'"
?. rn* clear," answered Mr. Jag*
In the hallway below. |Xot again.
'?Chicago Tribune.
Reminded Him.
Her?Haven'; you forgotten some.
. sir? Restaurant Patron i'm
you sp-lce . f lt. My wife told
"t to apend any money fn illshly.
was Jual going to give you a tip
- N.-ws.
? sting
. ur I- ? -i o ff..rn<v
A T.i-Jn-} Pa?l.
ri r f'" British
runout wi:., va ^ admittedly a
failure v as Ih?Ii ? < d by
af bia <
nd ii' v." oncluded one. "they
to make him a poer!"
?" MM the other, with greater
;en; "they want t<> make him dis
ar."
Taking Chances.
'tier Johnny, your Lucie Henry
he here f.-r dinner, and you munt
your face and hands washed
ll Johnny- Yes. mamma, buts'pos
mmethln' happens and he don'i
?, what then'.' Exchange,
Not So Exacting,
o you're a butcher now?"
ea," explained the former dn
is clerk. "Tho ladies don't try t.
?h aparerlba or steak." Kansai
Journal
a chameleon becomes blind i
?? Its power to change Its hm* am
nins a blackish color.
Procrastination.
\'hy la p aald to h
thief of ti!:'. ' I the teacher.
Cause it t eke s a fellow so long t
it" answered th.' bright hoy o
foot of tl a.?4 Chicago N
Either Way.
imltfa ! I it.* you borne I
with nie. but we have
And I'd Invite you hop... wp
hut we have one.-Cleveland Leai
low Marshall Field Mad- Money.
1 thc e:;r'> eighties, when tbe !';r
lonal bank of w a was 1..
big as ll ls : ow, I pretty near
1 m] y OM chi
ag brat ger halli!
tn Cl Ile I mw a letter <
ilit fi r I 0 from I " jo har
my desi "(':
i li that?" I lot : ovi
e or t ? made ? quick estlma
al! the sh 1 thought v
lld -.-rape wr and said: "Yea. Ho
you want itv" ii ire a amil
dow said, "I think I'll ta
In land." In a month's time,
thori/.cd ag-uit. I bought about 3
) acres of cheap railroad land f
' Chicago friend, taking the dee
my name at his requeet, pu;
ange of (2.60 an acre. He clear
er $1,000.01 0 on this one deal. I
me was Marshall Field. ? Benet
akeny*a Reminiscences in Lesli
eekly.
In Great Luck.
T have been looking over my fin:
il operations." said Mr. Kasigo.
they are more ill
. -. nsuai.**
"Have you been making large pr
ir
"Ne. I don't expect anything 1
at."
"Bul you sa) you were succeeafu
"Comparatively sncceeefuL l?ur
aj d mth I hare loaned money
re friends, and only three of ti:
ive .|ult apeaklng t<> me.**?Waahl
m Star.
The Editor's Sally.
City Edit" r What do you mean
I In this robbery story t
Brown was knocked down and
Bred of ? hundred dollars'.'" \\
ou ever robbed yonreelfl New
oner- No. sir. City Editor
ounts for lt. If you'd been roh
ou wouldn't describe the- loss o
und'.cl dollars as a relief.?St. L<
lepubllc.
His Line of Study.
"My boy ls undecided about v
oih-giate eourae te take."
?Tm:"
"What would you adi UM V"
"That depends. Does be wan
?uild ny Ids hack mus. lea or
vin.IV" Ka1 ns City Independent
is, by no means, the dreadfi
disease it is thought to be?i
the beginning.
It can always be stopped?
the beginning. The trouble i
you don't know you've got
you don't believe it; you wor
believe it?till you are fore*
to. Then it is dangerou
Don't be afraid; but attei
to it quick?you can do
yourself and at home. Ta
SCOTT'S
EMULSION
of Cod Liver Oil and live cai
fully every way.
This ls sound doctrine, wi
ever you may think or be tc
and, if heeded, will save 1
Send this advertisement, together with i
of paper In which it appears, your ttldret*
four cent* to cover postaae, and we will
you s "C^sapkte Handy Albs of thc Wi
gCOTT ft BOWNE. 4?t Peart 3t. Haw
A Spanish War Criticism.
When the Spanish war came upon
os Commodore Dewey was at Hong?
kong. The navy department had sent
him DO preliminary orders. Le didn't
gnow anyiliing about the ultimate pul?
ley or what tbe ultimate pian of cam?
paign would be. The nar? deportment
didn't itself know. Dewey should
have : loved two i r three clay-; sooner
than ne dill, and two or three- clays
se?n.climes are vital. But our VTaah*
i officials were ? air aroueed to
the neceeolty of giving Admiral I -
an order by ai >gram from Dewey
informing them that the British gov?
ernor e.f Hongkong Insisted that our
Heel must leave there. We were so
dened by the immediate exlgencl
war that the English government had
to prod us lti the- ribs t<? wake us up.
Then our Washington authorities la?
med nu order and n<>t till then. They
told Dewey t<> proceed to the Philip?
pine Islands and capture or destroy
the Spanish Meet. In other words,
they gave him the stereotyped war or?
der in the phraseology of the signal
code, which, literally translated, read:
"Go ahead and do the beat you can.
We give it up."?Collier's.
The Silver Thread
A matron In Harlem waa calling
upon another matron in Harlem. Kel
ther was young, hut ..ne lo..ked
more so.
"Really, my dear," said the one thal
looked more se>, "you ought to have
your hair treated, it's becoming quite
gray In spots. See what a difference
lt has made with me. Ton would look
much younger really."
"But I don't care to look much
younger If I must dye my hair to do
so," was the reply. "I prefer to he
natural. If the Lord sends me gray
bair there's a good reason, and I'm sat?
isfied."
"But think of y..ur children, my
denr. They're grown up now."
"What have they got to do with lt?"
"Why. don't you see? The younger
you lo*,k the younger it makes them
app.-ar. And your girls are way past
twenty, you know."
The matron who was gray In spots
was still looking daaed when her vis?
itor clef.ar'.si. New York Globe.
Costly Law Robes.
An English judge's outfit In the way
of r<>i>es imposes n beavj tai noon the
newly appointed Judge, although the
eoe! la not nearly so great as i:
In the earlv days of Queen VI
Then lt was th.' custom for the law
luminaries to attend court fun<
In figured damask silk gowns, with
costly lace hands and ruffles. Thesi
d legal dignitary of
that day, : on one o to
have Spent t 1<h? on hands alone. The
lord. chat. - iiuethlng
like ?150, and even a Judge's stockings
are an expensive Item. The wardrobe
..f a Judge coats anything from ?500
to E600, and if the newly fledged "my
lord" ls : ?? ! ' d to the king's hench
division be will require five gowns, i
girdle, a scarf, a casting hood, a black
e-aj . a thr.mered cap, a heaver
a cocked bat, a *v.k bat, lace
banda and two full court suits, swords,
etc. t.. keep up the majesty of the
law. London Olobe.
What They Sn id.
"hid the girla my anything when
they heard of my engagement?" she
asked, with a little curiosity.
"Very little." was the reply of her
dearest friend
"But they said somethli
"Uh. yes; they aid something."
"Well, wi-r v 11
"Welt. f them merely ex
claimed. 'Al I C "
There was ;i pause, and then sh*
d
"Well, what did some of the other:
?aj '?"
??< rue of thi rn said, 'Who'd bav<
thought WT Another. 'Will wonder
ne-- er And .-i third"
"'di. never mind the rest." inter
ru; ted t! ee. "I dci er did havi
much e uri. eil
Was Mc Deli-:: !
"Almost every mau." Bait!
ni- re ape
er to think ? '* hi d
best fri- nd . hui this ;'
binder the v. .rid from laug! lng at th
profession
" How ls cur i r
asked a ' in. ;i fe dual
of mine, of a pal ' rotber.
?''Oh* he's icu h v. ame froi
the oth -r in a t. ne of d lion 'He'
1 leurs At
oVh ? -What an old a
that dOcti r of mine la!" sud be
uncle- a rational remark siuvc.'"?Li]
pincott'*.
Not Bull Ran.
The story was t< ld of an Am.-.i. :
who hap; au d to he crossing the... et
some years ago on the Fourth ? f Jul
Which national holiday was cclebmti
with great enthusiasm by tho |
cans on hoard.
"I say." urned one ? t the Bugin1
men. "what is this the anniversary
anyhow? Isn't it to ch I.rat.- (he nt
tlc of Bull Bun or something of tli
kind'.'"
"No," promptly ipoke up an anni
can. "not Ball Bun- John Bull Hun.'
Takes Him Down.
"Bfef| tuan has his price." .plot
the wise guy.
"Well, I've noticed that a won
cnti generally make him feel prc
ebano." added the simple mug.-~.fu
rlelphla EUCOTd.
A Wonderful Hand.
Master I'm sorry to hear. Bat. t
ye?ur Wife is dead. Patrick-Faith
'tis I s::d day for us all. slr!
hand that rocked the cradle h^a *
cd the bUCki
Fear- and Dangar.
PkHfjaj OM Lady (to dorl hand
ihoafl ll there any fear .>f <
jjer'' Dad Hand fearnUasalj Pk
of fear, ma'am, bul not a hit of <
The Prilled State* Huhmarlnc t
ers fly a Bag with a hlack fish r
white background surrounded b
red tatter.
Baking Powder
Absolutely Pure
The Only Baking Powder
made from
Royal Grape Cream of Tartar
?Made from Grapes?
A Guarantee of Pure,
Healthful, Delicious Food
Knaw His Limitations.
"I proph'seed he'd make a living,"
Mr. Hobart sa al, sneaking of a New
York painter who spent a Bummer at
hhs furm, "because he knew what he
Could do. little as 'twas, and didn't try
to Hy tex* high.
"Ye," Mr. Hbbari conUnued, with a
tboughtDUl snrile. "you couldn't
him to attempt any foolish !'.
All th art summer he set out in th.
yard, painting tsens, or else OUt ha.k
o' the ham. i?j listing pigs. And when
i Bald to him. 'Leek a here, when Abe
Fowler comes to paint the house I'll
j >t him to show y..u bow and let you
take a hack st the sid ? end, where
'twon't show so much and allow
your hoard.' be Inst shook bis
and smiled thal kind o' gent - irrow
tUl smile o' Disband --ays he: *l couldn't
think of it. Mr. Hobart. I ahonld
ruin the looks ..? the house. I'll keep
to thc pigs and the> hens, for I know
my limit
"Well, 'tv a real relief to me t
I supp se . ly he would have i
. d tbe joh eonsid'able. And I said
him then real hearty, "Young man.
youl! earn y. ur living yet, t r
ain't all et np u Uh pi
rion,' and my words have come true,
by what I lear.'' Yon;!. inion.
h..
hy
th
sn
wc
th
th
ca
un
tn
di
th
hi
ft
Cl
ot
a
F
v;
fi
ht
Vi
fl
fl
Tha Retort Final.
The garruloua old lady In tbe stern i o1
of the boat had pestered tbe gutd
with her comments and question!
since they had started. Her meek lit?
tle husband, who was bum bed 1
like in tim how. tisln-e! i:
old lady seemingly exhnnsl <1 -
pons! ' tnt tn fish and animal i
woodcraft and personal history whi
she suddenly esph d \ curi?
ous i'aths ,,t" olly, unbroken water fre
? n small ? ii j.r.
nulled by a light
"oh. guide, guide,'
"what Diakes thal funny streak In the
\vnt.-r': N->. there right over thi
The guide was busy r.-h::
old gentleman's book ard merely
mumbled, "f'-m-mm. "
? ide." repeated thc old lady In
te.m-s thal a .-rc not to he dei
right over there whore I'm rx Intlng
and te-'d me what n I funny
streak in the wat. r "'
The guide looked np fr.un his halt?
ing, with a algh.
"That? oh. that's the road
went scroaa tho ice list winn
Everybody'i Magazine.
e
Vi
I
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1
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I
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1
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i
*
Emerson s Memory.
Emers. aotable sufferer from
the vagari'-s e.f memory. Ills biogra?
pher relates that he met him one day
In Heston apparently at a loss for
something isked him where he
was going. "T" dine," Mid Emerson,
"with a v.-ry old and dear friend. I
know where- --'ie- lives, hut I hope
wont ber name." And then he
proceeded t<? describe her aa "the
mother of tlie wife of the yoting man
- the tall man - who speaks so -.
mal s.. ..I . until his Interlocutor gut?>>*
ed t<> whom he> was re-ferrlng. Even
thc names of common objecta often
failed him completely. On one
Rion when he wanted ai. Ha he
said: "I can't tell its name, hut I can
tell Its history. Strangers \w
away " Thia falling of Emerson hil to
a pathetic- scene when he attended
Longfellow's funeral and remarked as
meed at the cofiin. "Ile was a j
sweet and beautiful soul, hut I have
entirely forgotten his name."
Nero's Golden house.
The "gold -n bouaa" Of Nero se. las
from . lOUnta to have been the?
me.st stupendous dwelling pince ?
built for a mortal man. Even if wc
regard the ancient descriptions as
rated it remains ona)
of the largest loyal houses ever built,
and the internal de. i
been ia. ompariiblf Iii Lg
lt was surrounded by parks. t|
and pools ed' gruel abe, which a|
to lu entirely within the walls.
The odom., des cf the Ie <t ex?
tended a tulle In length and er
..ne of ile- ! ' the
city. The ? Itlca e.f i
sacked for masterpieces of Gret i
for tin- Interior. '1 la- a uh
gold and pouria, and the re >f rooted i a
marble- (-. le : enormouu si/.
beauty.- New ocr! ".m.
The Rust of Custon.
The h' -ri- M toward Innovation ls
just the tai e in an army :i> Owl of lt,
bul perl ? a Ith un re l \ i?ew
thing <a ... it poesibl]
til lt has proved
which it disp i ??
were d, and *?'
tian \n\ I thom ? ' rfw Tuik.
rn h>. o^e d th :a at ' '
staatl ? ttrst Brenrma
bitterly ? they d
I d the H-lellerly '. --f the tl- ps
The British navj itrenuouely ob
to 11 M enc
char. - nc ol
a's Mi d
li.er mel with more opposition li
I in Ilamptoi
? the CM
war lt i hrs
e.V.
the ? a ol
who koa! a ? oM otic* 11
his onie* to Rhou '- Idle. < h')\v g el |
?Artm
A Wheat Hospital.
This wieat. has been through the
apical." said a miilc-r. "I ?
the titie poliah on ti. - Wheat
Qt baa been tbr< Hospital f?>r
mi disease nan
?1: wheat."
rio- wheat grains, iii truth, shone
at one could alu., it st.ae'a tai
em.
"You can sc your face In them,
n't you? "And do
under. They've he-en through drai
satment- draatlc. smut la .
. a Kital of mold, that ?
ireh and gluten In wheat t<? ?
a<-k powder. When you see flour
di of black - la a sig
f the a beat was smutted.
IT tt to wash the wheat ttl
Then yon dry lt. Tl
?our it. Then you dry it again.
inally you brush it. Wheat hoepl
thew are found In most grain ele
itora nowadaya have big machines
?r washing, drying. se..ur: - and
rushing the grain, and whee
erv last legs cornea out of those ki?
nna r pruce and bio | i*a
Kitball girl " Buffalo Ezpn
An Astrologer's Letter.
An i . - tter to President
an Buren foreca
? ?ti..n In 1840 is in the library
: res* and perhaps gives a crude
lea of sot of the fallacies of eur
randfathers. The following are -
xtructs: "In thia h- : aa*
endant dire, tee! to ti ?
ration al
liddle of the fourth year, I
mesa ? * ?
luz or hurt h; 's." etc. see
I have opened the hoi -
ral Harrison, which accords with the
h.h-f . i ? :' ins past life and which
f right be win not till the office i f
?resident, during the next term e
f elected. And the danger I appre*
icnd to yourself ls not from your ;
lc opponents, but from those on whom
? n repose cont'.-! who
ire superstitions may he Inclined to
?redit this atar gazer with son*
ir-- of wisdom, f.-r Qarriaon, altb
lected, clie-d a month after his inau
rnratlon. New York Fost.
Home Loving Montenegrins.
Nowhere is love of country more in
en?.e than among the Montenegrins,
o whom exile is the ^r.-utcst e.f j- ii
lebmeuto. When w. J. stillman
;here In the seventies all the free men
were away fighting, and he oheei
that when a messenger was scat
:ho official took a man <>ut of the pris?
on and Hent him ..ff. with no fear
I'.e would not return. 0 ? -
senger was senl to Cattaro, In Aus?
trian territory, with al I of
f..r the bank, i
back. Another asked a Russian at
Cattaro to intercede with Prince Xlch
olaa for his release from prison. MBut
you are not In pris ".." Mid tb Bun*
alan. "Oh." *:iid the man. "1
only .-onie down for a load *>f al
for So-and-eo, hut I toto prie
on again \\ h.-n I u'et b
one prison guard aratched all the prti
oners when they sunned tie-:.
out of doors, and If be a ed
away a prisoner would take 1.
and act as sentry fer the time.
Abroad.
Abroad ls a locality entirety sur?
rounded hy seaelckneen* In at
view it ls i bourne moro or lesa mys?
terious, bounded 00 Us- farther side by
your Income and on its hither -
custom bouses where you have to eh
clare everything you bring hack wit'i
clgn accent and one
change) of hosiery.
Abroad la wham
1. They I ut
al ur Naggi ge I
b. it all
2 You are Unseal al
down fT'tn Jerusalem te Jericho, a tal
| od Samaritan invariably wants
a tip.
Abroad is the stage of history, bur
that ls only I ede thc
? ? nf n< t seetnaj
America tr :. Put k.
Keepina Up ths I,'mit.
lu J. t Cairn reoatoleteajcei
i* a chan f tharne*
Jones, who | fl
about ? med
alarm
| SDH ':e la
c da; r manured af h|a ?
*lent. t<< v. hi h Hiiine-loiies had catt*
asry reprl -!. "Oh I think ah- at al
"f. r ts*
"
to th- vtd bi d ' \V
dent '.o r.-.o .-? ft-rwartl P-m
bnel x ar, my
.'. : . ii m re
than three."
Nlaatma
?if exi. ? rwr; il
cause seatlm." reel*
i ? p ??>> *. j rsci
wqq*J he eooKB I ?\
. ly ru iv Twa f., - pi ti. it e.nly au
almost anwnws luouut of ii ?
N ahsorbe 1 In sn
sired an e unee of am
i intletit
v ren?
ton ;?!! ft ~e mt killel at anea
id affi t*J In tba*
combu.ith.ii of the Inti"