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Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, February 13, 1909, Image 1

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn85026941/1909-02-13/ed-1/seq-1/

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$i.OO IP+r V?ar,
ou'QmuiiicatioQS o! a private ii attire
charged for as advertising.
is complete in every respect. Work
done on short notice and on the
mont reasonble terms.
\<? 6
Sh^n^O^cmhy Herald
Advertising R*1
Advertisements will I
ed at one uoikr \n.r njuare <,i
icu kutta or itfcrt, lor the nisi b?
sertion, and 50 cents tor each
subsequent insertion.
KS vjuartcrlf or j carly ?Ut?ir
iseiiients by ? ontract.
ttf Unless the number of \m *
ilotif' i marked upon the u * v
script, advcrtlsen-ent* w\\\ U? r<
Msb"* until forbidden ard fh>u
accord!n lr
Attorney s-at-Law,
Praciiov in all thr 'oort** )t Sheuau
oab ind adjoining i u M)s. id the .^p
pre ue Cuurt ol A''*>tais, and in tue Cu
cui HtiOitMtal Ow*i 8 ?>' tue Unn.o
*" <*T Spec.al auention * ven to tht? col
-OtUr of cl ai iii" aav 15, '61-V
M. L. Walton, Collection
E. D Newman, Department.
W. L. M r. wm an. ?"
Notary Public.
Attoi neys-at-Law.
Practice iu State and Federal Courts.
teal' *U '93
r. fi. rt tr mut ma j? a. ba ti Metala w
r Vi \n R A BAU8KRMAN,
I <!"<??: K. v A
ii U it 9:<-l..
B^ imette* irj URI Owner anc Maunder
jf I. . -i.t-nandoah Val' if Collection *du Ad?
justment AkfiiL-y. estabiisned l??&. Post othce
\ dd roes- Calvary, Shenandoah Cc. Virginia.
?oav 1.">*<G?ivr.
i;# H WU* BACK
fie sND G0?NCEL0h ?T LAW
->'!<?( K. VlftOIMlJ
. -? curd itK<i, Merctittr ??? and Kar
< tfuiiding.
Woodstock, - - Virginia.
Commonwealth's attorney for
9 ' tX A NLK)A H C< >l\NTY.
? ill practice in adjoining counties.
. be ia New Marget every Saturday.
K. ' ?! 3 OOl
navii>K ? "oared n WoonaioCK. can be
~) iud at his retMeooeOONortl Muhlenbura
Tset.t^f tate rviddt nee ol Dr. J. L.Campbell
* "t professionally t*ngaired,
tun *-lvr.
u > l> CARTER
- i ka;vu,
ll .*!?' .non giver.' to Sur
Mi .j I tU8H,
t i
'?> OK, VA
bed iu 1889. Office jrouth
Ttrm* cash.
?i : -lyr.
lo i Ck**U
? .
x. L ? n
M ro
' l- UM K i
ide it Dnntiwi
Wo *
n. ?IA VIS & CO.,
i MllFHOIF1!
n >, k Vnc?illf14.
I lundred .-alunble properties
or 'mik ia Vtr-inta, -mbrncin^ large and
a mil farms. Town Property, Mill*, lineral
and Timber landa, store stands and stocks of
tn rchandise If von want to sell yont
rop nj <. ucat.Y price it at b r?a?onabU
Hq't-t <tndlsen4 tof us,snd we will do the ret
*r t* for Catalonia nov. ?^-t rs
Farms For Sale
An excellent Farm of 135 acres of
lanu, K<>od buildings, well watered
and fenced, 3 miles from Rail Hoad
Price onlv 14,000.
An excellent small farm of 27 acres
of good land well watered, pood frui
ana good rew dwelling witb bay win
dow and all nt-oessary out buildinus
3 miles from Rail Road Price 12,100.
A good small home of ll acres of
fine land, about 100trees of fine fruit,
eood dwelling in good neighborhood,
? miles from Rail Road. Price
?1060? all on easy payments. Apply
lo J. N. DAMS A OO,
Real Estate Agents,
Woodstock, Va.
C3 wura
Not Coughing Today?
Yet you may cough tomorrov ! Better be prepared for it
when it comes. Ask your doctor about keeping Ayer's
Cherry Pectoral in the house. Then when the hard cold
or cough first appears you have a doctor's medicine at
hand. Your doctor's approval of its use will certainly
set all doubt at rest. Do as he says. He knows.
No alcohol in this cough medicine. /. c. Ayer Co., Lowell, Mas*.
Robust health to a great safeguard against attacks of throat and lung troubles, but
constipation vii! destroy the best of health. Ask your doctor about Ayer's Pills.
Borne i are cred I ri
William Ai iras o ;
poll ..- ? . : ? - tu< lasi ,
i enturx 1
pc!, "If i ? . - v . ?
v.-hat inc
If 1 ai >i j i ve i',;.: : r wai
lld ii- >i
' ? ? i' ?. i.; :;.
in. '. "Wo i .-sn:.. I i'??'.? r> i < urscli
c.-a | ir) i
< h' ;i : ?> ;. ;? wa* :??) a\i
be * ?. e <: blot
I. < i eu ?
other oci ir .mts of th : -}f evcr
there was a caae I . evidence
than thia i a*< I ive i i thai cn
A Prophecy.
A '-"rr zv pr Idem in In
diana, si U i when
til" - i-. till' ell I I : *
ginnti - Me ? |] ap ? r ?
tl)' I ? ?'
Th ut any |wi
* ? :!>(? les*
tho Tl ii I be it. re 1 li
tr* u
n< t> 2 i ihr ? i magi .
"(lives nie i
"What's i ilro 1 the author.
"TH hat rx in
wenr>; -Inri: g thoi . ira ??!!
exhibition in the lobby. That ought tn
draw Hie women in droves."?Louis
ville Courier-Journal.
Lt Tragic Man Did yon ser
how i ;?? : lyxed tho and In tho
death ? ? ? '? '1 !, y ff T"
over the I sta-.-e Manager Vea;
they knen on weren't really dead.?
Lond Hits.
Co ?* ??"??? orv.
will save the dyspeptic from many
da> sot" misery , and enable him to eat
whatever he wishes. They prevent
cause the food to assimilate and nour?
ish the body, give keen appetite,
and solid muscle. Elegantly sugar
coated. ?
Take No Substitute*
Woodstock, Va., Jan. 20 \mi
(Corrected weekly by F. S. Bowman.)
Wheat. $1.00
Oats . 06
Corn. 7<i
Sweet Potatoes. 10*'
Chickens old. 0^
M spring . 08
F.g*s . ;;i
Bu?t*r..'. 1!?
Racon Side and Shoulder.... 12
Hams. W
LHrd . ll
' >"->ion
f* ???! 1 'VC 'ic1 MT' <? !?? I?>*s
rioodai >h?-ep l^>e? and Ca'* V,
Tur?d v- (ttl*
f \ I >r wd irr<>s? ?? itrht '
Halt more Feb 8.
Cat'la K?<ei??tl? for the Aiek it di d ?(
noon ioiav were 1.5*1 hoad, airiirmt 1,174 hea?l
las' w *?k: 65 car loads on the marked, <^u<?tf
?"wrg, vivA t" choice buti-h'TS. $4 00 to %* ^5,
n'h ra *} so ' ?? $4 85: ' 'ows, f 150* ? f 4 00: Hal
ttl' 43 -Tter4,?3.?5 te $; 00: tre?h 1
' 'he we*>\i -ni ?'! ai r.o u
-?h?-ad. against 1 653 t n last
?????* at tu>piy '"dav -rn" iit derat.'Uen and
a ?ter"* ?6 75 t" 7.-.J others. |6 5c 1 O
6 8<: ro-i.'h?. *s so l< 6 ?5
I ' -\m?. . *ec*o?t8 for ?he weev
-.? rt ??' ? ? t'Klav were 1.610 head
aKain?t j.^hr ' 1*?t waek I ?k'ht *uipl\
*nd f- lalHS"! (JwoXr- a bfc. $5 y>
t*> 8 1.. -he?!> $? to to 5.50.
? Ives Heeeipt* for -he w*efc en led at
noon todgv w?t? hrad 3' ? a^ainm 98 he d
last week. Pai ?upplv toJay and market
firm. Ouote: Common to bast, f 4 00 to Soc
FOR SALE." ^ comparatively new
five room dwelling asd lot on North
Mahlenboff street. PliM very low
to quick buyer. Apply to J. N. Davis
<k (Jo , ll?al Estate Agents, \\
stex'k, Va.
Monroe Funkhouser,
Sheuindoah Farmers' Home
H? is uiually f^und at the Clerk's
Office Woodstock, Va
ln-o. 20 '07-tf.
House tor sale.
A seven room house 011 Muhlenbertr
street. It eoatajna seven ioun>s, f
bath room, c?iii.r and ba-ement
kitchen. Apply to
it. :\. r ssockkv.
Sept. ll tf
K rs A ol For In^igestionu
* av XA \J * Relieves sour stomach,
Vt ;.;L..M_^-^OIL PtfOGti whit /OO SS%1
In a little log cabin that was used as
n (leiilUtn School House a century apo.
a cabin almost hidden in a woods thal
skirts Mi.] Creek, near Mt. Clifton.
they mn going to have a party some?
day this week.
It will be a birthday party, delayed
several da\ I on account of the weather,
but a notable oiv nevertheless. tnip
pose a candle was placed on each mile
post between Winchester and St tun?
ton, there would not bc enough by one
to mark the sp4u of years traversed
by Christina Shown, in whose honor
the party will be given.
Xneneighbors call her Ann* "Tee?
ney," and Aunt Teenei . she was bick
yonder in the yean when Internecine
strife almost dismembered a nation.
Think of it. For fifty-six years abe
has lived in the hut, where tLr??** quar?
ters of a century ago, she was taught
the three R's by a pedagogue, who
hailed his visitors with "Sprachen
It was only two weeks after <b'd
Hickory had silenced the guns of the
British soldiery at New Orleans, and
sixteen days before the Treaty of
Uh' nt had sealed forever tho supremacy
rf the United Stated on the North
American continent, that Aunt Teeney
make her advent at Selia rTertown, a
small settlement in Ashby district.
within a couple of miles of where she
low li vt i,
She has never lived beyond the con?
fines of the ni Igbborfaood ol her na
;ivity. and the world to ber Ll bountied
rm the South by Harrisonburg, on
die North by Woodstock, the Baal
?y Loray and the West by the huckh -
torry ridgee of the North Mountain.
vhich loom up a few miles beyond the
rellieed gate which opens to her
A remarkably well preserved woman.
vith a minti as bright and clear as the
proverbial wedding bell, Ti ency Shown
?dints word pictures of the "good old
lays" in the inimitable patoii of the
earlier settlers, and thev are veritable
ravelogues through the history of the
County. Her story is woven ot the
?var)) .ind woof of romance anti t rare?
ly, the earlier love recitala being mix
?d wi'h ht- long ago sacrifices made < m
some l?attlefield
Ber1! waa nol the life ol luxurious
sase, and social am uities aro to her
as a closed book, but listen ; you saw
in recent dispatches where, in the
Capitol city, bejewell -tl women, di ll
t-d decolette, drank toasts to ?
who wore th-- Continental uniform.
Truth is. some of these maids and
matrons had as little of the blood of u
Revolutionary soldier in their veins
as there are corpuscles of an ichthyo?
saurus in a po'e cat. '^his little two
ro<?m log cabin, though, shelters
woman through wboee arteries course
the bio <??' of tlie soldiers of four Amer?
ican wars, and either ancestor or de
c ndenl saw the sun go down on Corn?
wall ii at Yorktown, carried a flint
look in te precarious cays of 1812,
d the fevered swamps with Booti
in M- x CO or i id down his arms with
Lee ai * ppom t oz.
H-r'- .?a- 1 ?-.1111011- ife anti she
te ls of ?? ? arvesta i*l byirooe years
wn^-n ?he k?- I apace with tive men
wie ilii.' tnc - i-kle in the grain. Sh
f I. ? day a ben she nitl other
' atina 0 and -f the rails ill
maned *o n the be utiful frms nf
As bj ilialrid w.-re b? ingcarv d f om
the riiyiu woods. She can tell you < f
the lita)*' Incident! which add spire
and seal to life and of occurrences lost,
?ave ii.rn m i \. vhieh intereated
th ? as-oe at ? <f four >e if J t - -l;o,
To k i t e 'i j - of the M i ? wai
%re is o yes ? day, an i the ?ICk le anti
flail were to ber the neWeal mc bodl of
hirvs'invr and threshing the rain
wheo ninety-nine |>er cent. ..f tbo-e
wh'- read this -vere yet m boro.
[ni oculat* tl witb the ? ogality o be
G- rman ancestors, che has preserved
kitchen utensils over a century old,
and still in use ! The same coffee
mill which did service when Van Buren
t >k np the mantle of the Iron Man of
the Hermitage, still grinds the Java
(or the morning cup.
Now. you who eschew the weed that
made Sir Walter famous, note this,
arni note it we'l. Kighty-six years
ago 'IVmev Shown l>cgan to smoke.
She was only nine then, but phthisic
w%s the Cause <>f tho l>eginning of the
Constantly since that time she
ha- kept the fire burning in an old
st n | pipe, consuming Rh ehe sa\s two
"p >kes" a we*-k. A calculation show*
th it over three quart rs of a ton of
bo h i^ be n radi end to ashes in
the pipe04 the nonagenarian and yet
?as boin when Kdgar Allen Poe
nv a lad of six, and still lives,
tie? |? e tile deleterious effects of nico
She hal never ridden on a railroad
l .tin. seen an automobile, nor heard a
phoi ogtaph, and the telephone is as
much of a mystery to her ai seismic
disturbances are to Australian bush?
men Withal, she ii happy and con?
tented, the realisation of inventors
dreams having no effect on the even
tenor of her ways.
Christina Shown is the widow of
Thomas Shown, who died twenty-two
years ago and is the mother of four
children. Twenty-one grandchildren,
and twelve great grandchildren, and
several great-greatgrandchildren aro
hera. She was one of eight children,
of whom one died at ninety-two, an?
other at eighty-nine and one still
lives at the youthful age of nicety.
Frequently she walks to Mt. Clifton,
a mile away to do her shopping, and
thee be those with two score loss
years to their credit who are not half
so active or near so agile as these
trips show lier to be.
For eighty-five years she has been
a member of the Lutheran church, the
church which her ancestors affiliated
with two centuries ago in the Father?
Yes. there is going to be a party OH
Mill Creek, one day this week, ami
'Teeney " Shown will be the guest of
honor. The span of years between
January 29th, lsl"> and January 29th,
1900, aili seem to her as but a little
journey. Though the course of ycart
has led her far towards the setting sun,
vet it seems a> if, even In the twilight,
many more years are yet hers to
An Excellent Cleaning Fluid.
" The following i?? ip--contains noth?
ing injurious, never takes OUt the Stiff?
ness from fabrics as from veiling*
and chi ffi ?n), and is at the same time a
disinfectant anti snr.' an rentisi ol
moths," anya Woman's Dome Com?
panion for February, Sulphuric eth
?r. one dram ; alcohol, two drams :
chloroform, one dram; oil of cloves,
ii"' dram. Three times this amount
to one quart best gasoline. The oil of
- maj tn- omitted if desired, as in
.deaning anything white it has a ten?
dency to turn it yellow To clean a
Iress skirt, just double or treble th
amount of these ingredients, Men's
trousers can be soaked over night in
:his. and when pressed are as good as
new. It is fine for ostrich plumes, SS
it never takes the curl out. He sure to
ihake out in the air until thorough!)
Iry old laces elei b tautifully ? tb
is fluid. Let the article to be cleaned
ne in th- liquid fora while, according
to how soiled it is. Articles can n -
n all night without injury to tlc
'abric in any way. hy allowing to
an 1 pouring otT vry carefully.
ie the fluid over and over
How China Preserves Fresh Ecas.
While waiting for a Cabinet official
?ith whom 1 had an appointment, I
maoced upon a min just returned from
'hina. In the course of our con versa
ion the price of eggs and tho difficulty
)f keeping them fresh was discussed.
? rited that it was almost irn|
3I0 t > obtain a new-1 a itt e^n. He told
tow, when traveling in China, the
can consul called his attention
." the fact that the Chinese had cen
-solved this problem in a
non- effective way than has ever tv.m
low by modern cold storage ware
ie systems It happened that he
iiad no opportunity to tesl the Chinese
n?ethod until be waa leaving the coun?
try, when he was presented with fresh
laid egge Incased in spherical mud
pies. Ile brought home these packages
along with other souvenirs, and kent
them until "fresh" eggs loafed to
eighty cents a dozen: then he opened
h > mud pi'-s. and imagine his surprise
t > flndtheeggi In first-class condition.
"Leter," he said. ""I tried th* ex
per'ment myself : buried my eggs deep
in mud ami formed it iutO cakes around
them, allowing "tho pie' to dry out.
The result was the same-when the}
rpened they were perfectly fredi."
-J<te Mitch*!) Chapple, in February
National Magazine.
Offers Roosevelt $300,000 to
Head Wild West Show.
Bridg port. Conn., Feb 1 ?If Fros
id nt Roo* v? lt w ll c mseufl So hand a
'? > ld West "I o ." he ctn draw a
salary of $lo 000 ? week for 90 week-,
ding to SS offer just mule tl him
by Jamel M Atlas, proprietor of the
Bose] Atlas, of this city. Mr. Atlas.
who says he is an old friend of Mr.
Roosevelt and used to wrestle with
dm wheo be wis Oovemor of N<*
Yo- k, hs - nt the president the fol
u tter :
"Hon. Theodore Roosevelt, Presi?
dent ol th Quited States :
D-.r Sir -Will >ou accept an en
ga ' m Bl of 38 we ks nt a sa'ary of
110,000 -?> we k S300,000 in all-com?
mencing the fir?,t day of May, 1?M)9, to
head a 'Wild West" exhibition entitled
'Theodore Koosevelt'a Congress of
Rough Hiders V
"An early reply will lie greatly :t| -
pretaBaOd by yours truly,
.lames M. Atlas.'
In a nie small farm of 27 act
smooth productive land 3 mil*?s from
Beal eton station Boothera Kail Hoad
on which is an up to-date new dwelling
ing of 7 rooms b ilt of the be6t ni i
terial-with bav windows, reception
hall, poaches ssS)., car|>onter and
blacksmith shop, stable smoke house,
hen house all in good rspftir .
orchard of apples, peaches, pears and
plums, live acres of exce'ont wood
land, the entire tract well watered b\
never failing snring of excellent water
Owned b| a widow lady from the west
who recently lost her husband who de?
sires to return there?rn >re land ad
j dning, can l?e bought if desired at a
\ery reasonable price. This property
must b-' sold by April 1st, 1909, and
must be seen to >*? appreciated?we
will pay the round trip fare of any
one, who in good faith wants to buy
a bargain in such a desirable home
Price onlv 11950 cash. Apply at once
to J.H. DAVIS A CO.,
Heal Estate Agents
Woodstock, Va.1
A grotesque and foolish view of th
wost leads manj who are not a<
qnalnted with thal part of the count!
to i ? ? blunders n
larding the possibilities of the typlci
westers weep ns, t!ie rids and the si
shot.u-r. To sh tot iin animals eye nu
nt a hundred pac - bl a common fee
in wild a it ll erarure. Bometimes I
is done with a iii ibooter- in type, nc
snywbere eli Of course, no ms
can'see the eye of an animal that f:u
I have bad i good rifleman tell me h
could Pul off ;i robln*e head at ? hm
drod step-'. The truth la thal he COttl
m?t see the bead I learly that far. Yu
rend that the desperado Binds cool
with a slr ?hooter it fifty <?r rtxt,
steps blt I mnn In any button of hi
coal that he chose, but you may b
sure that neither Slade nor any oil
else could do anything of the kine"
Sven tri k and fancy shooting at lt
best Could ever cover feats SSCllhSd I
matters of COUTSS to the .average froi
rJsfSmsU by those devotees of fren7.it>
m who never Haw the fmntler.
Outtng Magazine.
Eluding the Officers.
Hero ls nu amusing description o
one of Rnlzae's periods of bunecunlol
itv. Merv, the poet, ? great friend <>
Ttfti/ac. was an Inveterate gamble
and rarely left tho card table befOT
daybreak, nis way lay past the Oaf
do r.iris. and for four consecutlv
mornings ho had met Balzac Itrofllnj
leisurely up and down dressed in I
pnntalon a pleds (tfeSJSCfl riot tertnl
Dating below the tinkle, hut with fee
in them like stockings! and fr? el eoe
with velvet facings. The escon I morn
lng Merv felt surprised at the colnci
dence: tho third he waa ponied: th
fourtli be could hold out no l inger am
asked Ba fame tbs reason of these not
turns] perambulations roundabout th
?unto spot.
Balzac put his hand tn bil DOCkc
anti produced an almanac showing tba
the v-u". ''. \ not lise before3:50. "I an
being rr." ked hy tl rs of th<
tribunal de commerce end obll d ?
hide myself during the dsy, bul a* titi
hour T im free and can take a wall
for a** lor?" aa the inn ls not up the;
cannot arrest me"
Milk on a Stick.
In whiter time milk goes to the boy
er in ti i hunk Instead of a quart, Pay
a Olssgow paper. The people In Sihe
ria buy their milk frozen, and fur cort
venience lr i; allowed to freeze ebon
ti itlck, which f-tiies as a handle ti
carry lt by. The milkman leaves on
chunk er two chunks, ns the ease ma;
be. nt the houses of his customer!
The chlldrei in Irkutsk, Instead of crj
lng fer a drink of milk, cry for a bit
of milk. Tl e i.pie In winter time d'
n-.r ! : I not to ipili th
'* hui ' !'? careful not t > brea!
the i ll!i " Bri ken milk la better thru
?pfllt though, 1 cs use there I
an '?;.;..ru' Iry to sere the pieces.
quart ? t frozen mi'k on a itlck ls i
very f n weapon In tho hand <>
sn an?jry nun or boy, SI lt is posslbl
to ! . . n peru >n down with lt. Ii
kutsk pe mg their milk on book
r titting it In pans, thougl
of c< .en wann api lng wea the
non they bare \>< use the pans t>
palls as ll milk begins to melt an<
drop dowi "ks.
Thc Illusion of Night.
I SS - fancy that every pren
city must have been built by night
Nr least lt i- only al night that ever,
; art of i great city ai fcTest All arch!
ure li areal architecture after sun
r rchitecture ls really
turn ? the art of thew. rk>
\t least I think many people of thoa
i that work by night (Jool
rutlist*. ' ?:. burglars, coffee ital
tod such ml ttaken enthusiast
aa re.;: e to go borne till mornlni
ive stood admiring som
? ; building with a crown o
battlements or a crest of iplres ant
rh."i bural Into tt;irs at daybn
discover tin t it was only i baberdasl
er'-J -I" p Wi il huge gold letters BCTOI
the fi e ' f it. <;. A. Chesterton 1
London News.
Tsx on Hats.
Not tmly have hats at various lime
been BUbjec! to taxation, hut have eve
1.:i made the subject of Bpscasl lawi
Thus In Henry VIL'l reign none wa
allowed to sell hats at a larger prk
than 20 pence or eaps for more tha
in. Bel Borne compensation, bowevsJ
for thia interference with free trad
could bs found in tho fact that In 151
on Sunday! and holidays every Oft
above seven years of age was require
to wear a cap of wool of English mak
under penally of 3 farthings fine f<
London Corona l<
ui?, ? ir be established ww
out m rallty uor morality wlthot
We live by our blood, and on
it. We thrive or starve, as our
blood is rich or poor. There is
nothing else to live on or by.
When strength is full and
spirits high we are being re?
freshed?bone, muscle and
brain, in body and mind?with
continual flow of orien blood.
This is health.
When weak, in low spirits, no
cheer, no spring, when rest is
not rest and sleep is not sleep,
we are starved; our blood is
poor; there is little nutriment
in it.
Back of the blood is food,
to keep the blood rich. When
it fails, take
It sets the whole body going
again?man, woman and child.
Send thU advertisement, together with name
of paper in which it appears, your address and
four cents to cover postage, and we will send
you a "Complete I landy Aila of Ute Worid."
SCOTT ? BO A NE. 409 Pearl St, New Yoes
The author <if "Aer.ss Kugland in a
Dogcart" once atopped to examine a
church lu tbs little rillsge of Enstone:
The day was warm, and 00 leaving
the church I rested for awhile In the
grateful shade of he building and fer
the sake of t!i?' cosiness still kept III
hal in my band. While standing thet ?
I overheard <me workman ask of ali?
"Why do V keep 'le 'at off like that
on! of doors, mah
"'Cause f's i Quaker, o' course*'*te*
plied the mate. "Quakers Blina do in
Here was an opportunity not to be
lost *?; i. ? i nm Dot a Quak?
er. I am un Episcopalian."
There waa a sic rt, awkward pause.
Then tbs lirst workman, evidently of
nu Inquiring turn of mind, said t-> hN
fellow mason, who seemed to be cou
Fidered an authority:
"A E plscopale one, 'e Fays *t* ls
Wot'e that, Bllir
??oh," replied the learned Bill, quite
equal to the occasion, "thats one <-?
them fancy foreign religions, sure!"
The Emperor's Orderly.
"Frenchmen of every rank and class
dearly hive thies. The manager of ai
Pirie Insurance rompi ny waa decorat?
ed with the Legion of Honor a few
days ago, and the clerke In the e a?
ploy of the company presented b i
with a piece of plate to whl h th< lr
visiting cards were attached, mi io. ?.
lng over these he wai i ir-" d deal pu
zled and amused by the rle!ting cai '
of the office "hoy," an old soldi* ::
from the Invalid* s. who wee empl >yed [ u
to open the office d rs from i* to
Under the man's name was the title
"the emperor's orderly." He iel
for the old Moldier, who stumped In
and saluted.
"<?f what emperor tire y< u the order
ly. and how?" be asked The cid In
vallde drew himself up to attention.
"I am tho orderly of the emperor,"
he sahl, "Napoleon, ie Petit Corporal."
"But be ls dead. Ile has been dead
Borne time," answered the puzzled
"I dust his tomh for him." grow ltd
the old soldier?London Lxpress.
No Morale In Dreamland.
If. as many writers have mggested
It Is the soul Itself that guides the Im?
agery of dreams, how are we to ex
plain the fact that In this chaos of
Idess and feelings there la so little dis
Unction between right and wrong t!;!1
a*ben dreaming we COmi ll Bi fs foi
which we should weep tears <f blood
were th". seem to be.
As Professor Hoffman baa said, "Th*
familiar check of waking hours,
must not do it becsuse lt would he nn
Just <r unkind/ oever once
arrest us in the satisfaction of an
whim which may blow about our waj
a 'ini fai
Prom all of which we must conoludi
that the dream realm ls a world '
entirely oblivious to any moral
..:?:? be true ;
troubled conscience may prcdu
affect our dreams, the dreams then
re never burdened a itli a roi
science. Bohemian Magazine
Geiig Some.
Being pursued by a farmer and bl
: ter being caught in th
chit-ken yard, i young colored perao
brui Just matle up his mind that fr
waa n"t ?? adit ghin followers aa quid
ly ai might be Alien a lung eared ja* b
rabbit Jumped up from the rood
and started down the road ahead o
him. Th.- would be chicken thief bai
run a few hundred fi'i-t farther when
the farmer aud his hoys were aston
bibed to hear iii- negro shout in a
mice that quavered with fright
though unrestrained, 'Say. for de Lon
eake you rabbit, get out oh de waj
ami let lome one run who can run."
A Doleful Mood.
Tho propietor of a Paris cafe no
ri od that after he had refused to tri'
his pianist an Increase of salary th
Dumber of bia customers dwindles
rapidly. ir wai only when all bu
one diner had deserted him that bi
discovered that the pis nial had beei
inflicting <"h.pin's "Funeral March'
(>n the audience nightly. The j lai it
who was proceeded against in the lav
ceorte and ? aa fined 50 fran s, pleadn
i that he pl ; ed according to the mo, <
i he felt in after his request had beei
One In: T'other Out.
"lt most be very t Ice." - ;! H r call
or to the author's wife "to hove yooi
husband at home so mu-h of tin
"Yes." replied Mrs. Richard Darling
ton Bprlggles. "lt gives me a cb in ??
to go out."- Harper's Weekly.
No Novelty.
"A novel always ends with the mar
ria ge."
?Which ls proper. There's mit liing
novel about the lubseqnc il hunt for i
Bal sud i cook and a Job !"t of fund
tore." Puck.
Needed Mourning.
The Lady I haven't much in thc
I to give yeo, my poof mau. but
would you like a pin I of my pie'.' The
Bobo No. lady. Bul buri yer got a
old black conti The Lady-why do
>ou want i Mach onel The Hobo?
I)o feller yer gave a piece o' pie to
de odder day was a pal o' mine.
Cleveland Leader.
A Convenience. ,
Curate?And IO, Mrs. Howard, you
oom. ? I itch every Sunday? Mrs. 1
(toward fse, afr. Masts}. We're y
inch strangers in town yet that WI t
have no other engagements.?Brooklyn
The Poor Woman.
?He climbed alttsost to the top of thc
ladder ami then fell off."
'What WI l the t rouble T
* Tin re a woman at thc bottom
of lt "- Life
Knew ths Troubls.
"You are wasting your time, old
assn," sahl Fred to george. "You are
court lng the wrong girl."
?No; shes the right girl. Tm sfrsid
the trouble h I'm the wrong njan."
Pbiladolphta Inquirer,
Pure JHF *hc chief ingredient
the active principle, _
and healthfulness, to 0^
^/Ibsolulely Tare
Jnsures wholesome and deli
cious food for every day
in every home
fi?V No Phosphates
No Alum
Dalton'3 Experiment.
The English chemist Dalton was a
dioolteaeher. He worked Without a
iboratory and with crude a]
lostiy made by himself from simple
utterials. Hen-ia ;in example de
1 In his own words:
"Took an ale glsss of a conical fig
re. two and a half Inches In dhu
rul three Inches deep; filled lt wi h
ater that had bet n at inding i 1 the
?om anti com *vtly of the t c pera
ir" of the air nearly; ; ;t the i?u
ie thermometer t?> the bottom ? f tho
? being out of the water,
hen. bai _ marked the temi i
put the . Ihot tip af th<
ri Inch deep in the water, holding it
iere iteeenly for half e minute, and
- - ??!! as it was withdrawn I di
ie bulb of a sen
ito the water, w I en it r i f.. w
wonda io 180 degn ea "
Ile then determined 'lie temporal ii
f tlie water at the both ni efl r live
dnutes, af ter twenty mi: ? d tft
r an hour and found that lt fl
illly from 17 to ."_' di This
Imple experiment proved that n
ns the power to conduct heat, which
Ad been denied ' y 00 leal
y than Rumford, foo th's I
The Mistake He Made.
He sauntered Into the central p
tatton and approa< bed the desk i
sent. There v n ia ai eworu l<
is face, ile .-r.-od there a moment
I if In reverie. Finally aa tears
aursed down hil cheeks be timidly
??I want t-' give myself up."
"What have you i
lek a tel..n's cell?" tl ierg -am
"I have long been a fugitive fron
istlce. The we
ianda that I >?!. uld be pu
"Hut what i< kV Wbat lu I
"l am a bigaml
-and I dont
fo longer must l keep ir fr >m th
rorid. L : me up. I am r idy t
i penah e."
"But will you not expl in';"
"Yes. If j -r. [tb u fbi 1 mar
led only the daughter, hut I bavi
mnd, to i
imily waa Included."?Kansas Cltj
An eccentric Ru:s;,:n Doctor.
The famous Ku tai n;. th* '...te Dr.
a ha riu, w n
letbods. \V*h< tl to al
zar Alexander UL rn bia last Illness
?r. Zaharin r the si ie
ration for hi i t Ult t< . Llace n
> any of bia pan.-a: i' lu
? say, all dogu
ie way. all cl
cor throw ti v
irs lu the ball, bia - \ er t i:
i?\t room, his galoch i lu the third
ntl. continuing, arrived at the ix d
i ordinary ia loor ci Btu me. Ile
own after walkli
nd evt ry eight ste, lu gi lo i up
lairs, [rom the patiei i
Dd every one else In the bouse be re
ulred absolots alienee until he ap ke
i them, when his que I
ns wend bj "Yes" or "No" ind noth
lg more.
A Necessity.
"Twenty dollars for ret rimming
at!" exclaimed Mr. Madison. "But
e agreed to ipend nothing except fo:
that were positively needed/1
?'Well. John, tills ts. You aee, raj
Mt friend has Just had
rimmed, ard 1 have pro
?itu her to the concert on I
"oh. all right But I ? ant | re j
Kare than fifteen I
broke my meerschaum and must have
ade 1."
"i'a.rt yon imoke y? ar etd '
"Certainly, dear. And you tan wear
our old hat."
"John, let's i es to I
louth after e >. mips al!
"All ii; I f."- Now Y'>rk Herald.
Ctrdou's Cui3.
"Viet ? B ' I ll I ima,*
aid a New y< .'.; theatrical man
'If you tried ?" Impose on him he
rould <al! eu down.
?'At fla ; :. ' i 0 during a P
ie said be d
neut that I I I. tl Bjrreu f- rtj '?'? SSS
tudy to bia ll
" You ch tbt me?' said the aCtOrhot
v. "I assure you. M. Sardou. 1 have
lever lied but twloo In my life."
"tarrion smiled dryly.
"Then this makes thrhv. SfeT said
He Was Slow.
lie ut ten tl a j? yous cry.
"And 1 im rei'-, .-val truly the rlr^t
nan you ei fr kl ? ' '
? "i Clarence." the beautiful girl
ejoined. ht r red Up curling slightly
The others nil took the initiative.''
vausus City lndei>endeut.
The Pictured Cowboy.
I recall < oe i?.
artist ol it who d *i wei
things, i'
Ho ht 1 i his
his chin in his hand-. His hoi
nearby, with the rel ai ton WU
horn of the aaddle. Now, a cowl o. in
the daytime, well lille I w h I I
canned tomatoes, would n?>{
and, above all. he would not lean
horse atandlng thu.--. He a rid poll
the reins d >wu over the hoi - I
and let them li mg, eises
hors- w< old depart I recall yt
er picture of a faithful < os
who with bia trust
self bom behind his dee 1 b
he uses es a fortress. The dead D
is ab iot four I lal
eldewiae ant for a fc*:i .r
a trine wide for a thin flanked c
: horse. It would I
! out any detail lille this to any
artic: of today. Worse than
i would it be to suggest that
puncher is the laziest created thin.'
in art he must do per
"action.**?Colliers Weekly.
An E.isy Grade.
dal, has seen its best days in E -??
land, and it is becoming more I
more difficult, B B
opines, to find material f"r em h a
story as follow i:
At the end of a political earn;
many yean ago a young man who had
worked valiantly for the snece
candidate claimed a reward. The
prize premised was a eergeantcy In the
artillery. But the candidate found that
he was unable to carry out his |
Iso, b b as it requir d si\ y<
senitc to qualify a man for the r
Ile became thoughtful, but finally -
? I ???es ir require six years to qa
a mau f- v a lieutenancy'.'" he asked
ono who knew,
''Certainly not," was the reply.
"Well, make young Blank a lies
ant, thea." enid the candidate, with a
sigh of relief.
Blank was thus made a lieutenant
for no other reason than that be
not flt to be a sergeant
They Knew the Pols.
Borne year-, ago when Dr. N
visited Leedl on his re,urn fr :.i lae
polar rodens he was we I I
large crowd of epectatore,
ed vociferously. Two of ?
dent admirers of Kansan were a
pie of old men. who 1
waving their s;h-Us. When I
orated explorer had passed. Imi
ately following in the wa kc . t the
carriage came a wagon dragged by
three horses, bearing a long bron
which belonged to the eic. tri.* tram?
ways company.
Directly the old men saw lt the f< I
lowing conversation took place:
"Well, rn bo bio wed I Bli
he's brout the pole bael, ??;? fa
"Ave," said the other admirer f
Nansen, "? i we tf only two i I
re all running sfter V
riage. Bilba, the're thal Ignorai I they
can't tell t' pole when they see lt!**
A 3ema-d S'*-*w Joke.
After addressing an Edii meet
lng for ninety n
nani Shaw r I tbst tl.
a quarter to IO, and be had Intended t.?
finish at '.? O'clock. He did in I ? I
the least fatigued; the ludteuce were
also quite raker
was about to it ?! rWU i? uti crt
"Oo on!" were raised on all bi
"1>o yen really wish ne te
Mr. Bhaw Baked. Re wi
bj renewi d sud nu i
Of "?i 0 I
Great \as the dlaaj. mt, there
I tied, ? That i> the ex?
act point at which tl expeii.
ker i its dt. wu," which as
bigly did.
An Arti t's Mustache.
The mustache was ant view d with
tai or lu laud in the eslddle ol the
century An anecstoti le t<*ui of
the i per, the English
artist. t<i . ttstrete. He a ie br
before i maj . .rate In UM
miner ? b i te and i ed lo
the j re]?; rt as being
with Lrrgi hes."
Tht> Ait asl of I he late, eosssnent*
Dag Ol lt. vi ld thit "no member of the
Royal academy perpetrates the I
tty of rnustai hes, a most ne
affectation." Mr. c asea*, asjeesnt i
member of the academy a few ye ir-*
Woman's Needs.
A woman in a divorce case wa?
asked why she bought adornments In?
stead of necessities. Who snail de?
cide what aro necessities for wai
?Chicago News.
Looteri on many times eec more
than the gamesters.- Hacon.

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