Newspaper Page Text
Leavenworth has seven miles or Etreet railroad in operation. Recently five houses were entered by burglars during one night at Lawrence. The Oberlin Eye complains that school land is being sold in large bodies, instead of quarter sections, in Decatur couuty. Geo. Morris, a fourteen-year-old boy, was killed while jumping on a moving lreight train in the Union Pacific yards at Lawrence. Burr Oak Herald: A little child of Mr. Ludwig Berg, aged 4 years and 3 months, got badly scalded with hot water Mon day, and died from the effects. Nickerson register: A gentleman living at Hutchinson said in this city last Sun day evening, that there were nolens than 150 cases of sickness in that city, and one or two deaths have lately occurred. S. F. Boyd, station agent at Edwards ville, Douglas county, jumped from a moving freight train at Lenapeand was probably fatally injured. He was taken to the Railway Hospital at Kansas City. Commonwealth: Col. X. S. Gos3 left for Cape Cod on about the 7th inst. on a bird hunting expedition. Before returning home he will attend a meeting of the United States Ornithological So ciety. Atchison Globe: A. Bracke, who put twenty German carp minnows into a pond 00x100 feet, two years ago last No vember, reports that they have multi plied to a tremendous extent, and the pond is literally alive with young carp now. The old ones weigh five and six pounds. Louisville Rejiublican : Mineral Springs are to be improved soon. The water will be raised by means of an elevator of some kind as high as the west bank, and a bridge will be built across Iron liunon either side of the spring bo one can can drink from the spring without get ting off the bridge. Topeka Commonwealth: Mr. B. F. Chase; Supervsing Examiner of Pensions, for this district who, in the late shufile, division and re-arrangement of pension Bystems was transferred from St. Louis to this city, arrived here a few days ago ' tth his clerks and a part of the ollicial documents, records, etc. Mr. Chase has 6ixteen clerks employed under him. Fritz Steinmiller, a youth aged about fifteen years, attempted to board the train a few days ago, at Leavenworth, Ks., before it stopped, and, missing his hold was thrown under the trucks and in an instant he was ground to a shape less mass. The train was at once stopped but to no avail, as the cruel wheels had already done their work. Baxter News: The special election held here a few days ago to decide the ques tion of issuing $20,000 in bonds to im prove the Spring River water power by putting in a dam and wheels, resulted in an almost unanimous vote for the bonds; there being but three ballots against them in the city. A very light vote was polled, however. This insures the suc cess of an enterprise which will give Baxter a decided advantage over neigh boring towns and double her population in a few years. The construction of the dam will be Legun at once and complet ed as rapidly as possible. The power is to be transferred by cable to the points desired. Atchison Globe: The thirteenth anni versary of the settlement of Kansas is to be celebrated at Bismarck Grove during the first week in September. The man agers have extended invitations to all the living ex-Governors to be present on the occasion, and participate in the cer emonies. It may not be generally known that Kansas has had eight Gov ernors, including the present chief mag istrate, and that they are all living. In order they stand : Charles Robinson, Thomas Carney, Samuel J, Crawford, James M. Harvey, Thomas Osborne, George T. Anthony, John P. St. John and George W. Ghck. Our long line of Governors seems to be a line of long lived and hardy men. They have all good and honorable records. Governor Ilobinson was our war Governor, and is now a large and successful farmer. Gov ernor Carney was for a long time the foremost merchant of the State, and is now a highly honored citizen of Leaven worth. Governor Crawford won laurels in the war, and has since served his State most creditably as its financial agent at Washington. Governor Osborn numbers his personal friends by the thousand, and is now the minister to Brazil. Governor Harvey was United States Senator, and is now a large far mer. Governor Anthony he'ped build the Mexican Central railroad, and "still lives." Governor St. John is the leader of the temperance crusade in America. Governor Glick is administering the the State Government at Topeka. IVcllingto-nian: A good story is told us of a young man living at Milan, in this county, who has a dog which has a hab it of sucking eggs. The habit grew on the canine until it came to be an intol erable nuisance. The owner sought a drugg:st for a chemical preparation that would break the dog of his bad habit. The druggist readily complied, and tak ing an egg made an opening in the shell and introduced the remedy. The young man sought his egg-sucking dog to give him the dose, but he was not fortunate enough to find him. Laying the egg in the cupboard, at home, "he went about his business, until a convenient oppor tunity should present itself for offering it to his dogship. In the meantime some neighbors called to see the young man's mother, who, unfortunately, was sick, and requesting the indisposed house keeper to allow them to assist in her household labors, were directed to do some cooking for the family. The"gude ladyes" bethought them to" make a cake for supper, and repairing to the cup board for the necessary condiments, appropriated the egg which had been laid away for the dog's supper. The cake was duly prepared and baked and the supper maile ready. The members of the family, including the young man and the visiting ladies, as well, were summoned to the repast. In an incon veniently short space of time after par taking ol the luscious 6weet-meat. each one gave indubitable evidence that all was not 60 serene in their respective stomachs as they would like. A deathly sickness seized upon them, one and all, and an intensely active vomiting. The greatest consternation prevailed, when presently the voung man remembered the evg which lie had bo carefully laid away for his dog. The fright only in creased, however, with the knowledge that the unknown drug had found its way into the wrong mouths, and was likely to produce death to all of them. The druggist was summoned in great haste, but was evidently better prepared to enjoy the mistake, as he coolly in formed them that it was only a good round dose of epicac. They all recov ered, and it is said that the entire crowd are broken. of sucking eggs and eating cake; but at last accounts there was no reformation in the bad habit of the dog. KANSAS women. Various Tilings Concerning Them. The Salad is the name of a new paper published at Iola. The editor is Nettie Scott and the assistants, Medea Brewster, Fannie McClure and Lola Smeltzer. A Mrs. "Weber, of Florence, Marion county, celebrated her S2d birth-day a few days ago. The ages of the five living brothers and sisters of this venerable lady amount to 404 years. The oldest being 00 and the youngest 75. Beloit Gazette: Lis-htning struck the farm house of Nathan Miller, near 31a- rysville, Kan., a lew days ago, killing his four dantrhters while asleen. Their dcpr were seventeen, thirteen, nine and seven, resnectivelv. The bodies were much dis figured, and one was distressingly muti- lateu, being laid open irom tne snouiaer to the hip. A boy of five years was bad ly hurt. Wilson County Citizen: Just as the rain Degan the other afternoon a bolt of lightning struck in Eph. Lippy's yard. Two of Mr. Lippy's girls had just started for the house when the flash came, and Metta, the older one, was struck, falling unconscious. She was carried to the house and soon got over the effects. A necklace around her neck was partially melted and scattered all over the ground. A widow lady named Mrs. Gibson was the victim of a fearful accident several days ago near Fort Scott. A train pass ing in front of her house broke in two the place of division being several yards apart. This lady attempted to cross the track behind the front section, thinking the entire train had passed, when she was struck by the rear section of eight cars, and thrown under the wheels. Both her legs were cut off below the knees. She was tenderly conveyed to her home near by and medical aid" was summoned. Her life however is despared of. AVamego Reporter: A sad death oc curred in this city last week. One day last week Mrs. Dr. Prudy took an over dose of morphine and though every thing was done to save her, she died from its effects. Mrs. Prudy was of a nervous disposition, and had been in the habit of taking morphine, and while suf fering from one of these spells it is sup posed she took the dose that ended her life. She was a very estimable lady. Her remains were buried in the Wa mego cemetery by the A. O. U. W. An inquest was held before the Coroner. The verdict was in accordance with the above facts. Hutchinson Interior: At the Probate Judge's office this week we saw a3 sad a sight as was ever the lot of man to wit ness. It was that of a wife and mother bereft of reason, and the husband mak ing application for her admission to the asylum. This was the case of Mrs. Anna A. Parker, of Valley township. It seems from the evidence that Mr. Parker was heir to an estate in Iowa, and that through the technicalities of the law he had lost the suit in which his interests were involved, and that Mrs. Parker had so brooded over it that her mind was thrown from its balance. Mr. Parker is very much to be pitied, as he is left with a family of six small children, the young er of which is but six weeks old. Mibrook Times: One of the most dis tressing accidents which we have been called upon to chronicle in a long time, happened to a little three-year-old daughter of Mr. T. S. Houpt of Morlan township, a short time ago. The family were at supper, and the child went out doors, and soon a ten-year-old son weDt out and started the mowing machine and ran against the child, cutting one foot entirely off at the ankle and the other hanging by the skin and a small portion of flesh. Dr. Fuller, of this place, was called and reached the little sufferer about 2 o'clock at night, and is trying to save onefocit, but with what success time alone can demonstrate. Hutchison Xeirs: A reporter called on Mr. and Mrs. Davis at the European Hotel a few nights ago. Now Mr. and Mrs. Davis live in Albion and have quite a little history. The bride is 23 and this is her third husband. Her second hus band was her third husband's father and had only been dead five weeks wTienshe married his son, at the aforesaid hotel. Major-General George Barclay did up the knot for the queer couple. It is hinted that young Davis had bef:n driv en from home by his father this Spring on account of supposed inti macy. GRAND 'AKMX GLEANINGS. Particulars Pertaining to the Posts. The old soldiers of Grant township, Clav county, will hold a re-uuion of Au gust 20th. Upton Post No. 27, of Caldwell, adopt ed fitting resolutions on the death of their Comrade, A. C. Jones. At a recent meeting of the Ladies' Be lief Corps of Osage City, a number of new recruits were mustered in. he Post is reported in a prosperous condi tion. Burlington Patriot: "We should like to see the various G. A. R. Posts in this county take hold and organize a reunion of the veterans this Fall soon after the Fall work is over. It ought to be worked up. Sedan Times: The G. A.R. Post at this place last week erected headstones to all the soldier graves in the cemetery here, w hich action is to be commended on the part of the G. A. R. There is nothing more beautiful nor feeling than the pay ing a just tribute to the memory of the dead of our common country. Parsons Sun : A movement is on foot by members of Antietam Post No. 64, G. A. K., to organize a drum corps from the sons of members of the Post. The corps will consist of not less than eight fifers and eight drummers. Boys will be ac cepted from 12 to 16 years of age. They will be instructed thoroughly in fife and drum music and uniformed at the ex pense of the Post. The conditions are that they will submit to the necessary instructions on the fife and drum and drill in the movements and discipline sufficient to assure the corps a success and a credit to the Post and the city. The Post will reserve the right to dis miss any member of the corp3 for bad conduct or not submitting to discipline. Atchison Globe: A large number of old soldiers met at the old Library Hall last evening to perfect the arrangement al ready begun to obtain a charter fur an other Grand Army Post in this city. Forty-four names were put on the roll as charter members. The following officers were elected: David Baker, Commander; H. C. Wheeler, Senior Vice Commander; F. H. Lacy, Junior Vice Commander; J. L. Bliss, Quartermaster ; J. Randolph, Chaplain ; F. M. Hinds, Surgeon ; C. H. Knauss, Officer of the Day; F. A. Steele, O nicer of the Guard ; Stanton Parke, Ad jutant; Jno. T. Wright, Quartermaster Sergeant, and Jno. Foelhng, Sergeant Major. The designation "Private E. C. Johnson Post" was adopted, being, we understand, the first time in the history of the order that merit in the ranks has thus been recognized. Fort Scott Monitor : A incident con nected with the drum corps drill at Min neapolis is worthy of mention. There were nine drum corps mustered in at the encampment. The drill was first set for Thursday at 4 o'clock p. m., and it fell to tne fot of W. LI. Eyttie rost Drum Corps to make the first exhibition of themselves, and orders were so issued. But for some reason the hour of drill was changed to Friday, but our boys did not receive the countermand in time and promptly appeared on the parade ground at the hour set, and went through a series of maneuvers before discovering their mistake. Some of the other corps were spectators of the drill, and after witnessing the partial exhibition made, concluded that they had no show with the Fort Scott boys and four corps did not enter the contest the next day. Atchison Champion: Our esteemed friend, Co!. J. S. Gearhart, announces that after several years waiting and much correspondence he has finally secured a recognition of his claim under the arrears of pension act for back pension to the amount of $5,2S0 and the future allowance during the balance of his life of $20 per month. The old veteran served in the Sth Illi nois cavalry during the entire war, and during the service contracted disease that has incapacitated him from work many years. Since his original application for the arrears he begins to feel the effects of wounds received in battle, and is -advised by the Commissioner of Pensions at Washington that if he can bring the necessary medical proof a further allow ance of at least $S and from that sum to $32 additional will be made him. This claim will probably be filed in the near future. The cash arrears which he drew from Pension Agent Adams, of Topeka, recently, comes just in the nick of time, and properly invested the annual inter est and pension, together with what the Colonel derives from former savings, will keep the wolf from the door. STOCK. SQUIRS. Points and Items About Kansas Stock. Westmoreland Period: The first car load of hogs shipped from Fostoria, the new town just started between Butler City and Olesburg, was shipped a day or so ago. Fredonia Citizen: Eben Sprigg, of Prai rie township, lost four head of horses and four calves by a stroke of lightning, during the storm of last week. The an imals were standing near a wire "fence, along which the electric current ran for quite a distance. Medicine Lodge Index: A prominent St. T.nnis nhVsirinn hna n'nvhftrl a farm in the eastern part of this county, and : 1 1 . 1 ' l .'ii. l : r i win siuck. it wiiii yuuug ueuers, anu from these, after proper innoculation, he will obtain sufficient vaccine virus to supply the whole country. Manhattan Republic: Last week, Bill & Burnham sold Young Gompachi to Mr. Hawes, of 'Washington county. The bull was put into a freight car and tied, the door being left open. By some means the animal lengthened out the. rope and jumped out of the car ; the rope remained securely tied, and poor Gompachi was dragged to death. Discovering the acci dent, the purchaser returned to Bill & Burnham's and purchased another bull. Eureka Republican: Mr. G. A. Thrall last week sold seventy-five head of three-year-old steers at 55.50 per hundred, each steer averaging 1,5S4 pounds. This would bring him in the neat little sum of (3,534. The figures are too tempting to comment upon. Our informant stated that this gentleman had one hundred and twenty-eight coal black polled calves, which he could liken to nothing but a drove of great overgrown Berkshire hogs. Dodge City Cowboy: We met Mr. Chas. T. Carney, son of Ex-Governor Carney, in the city. He has a ranch of about 2, 000 head of cattle in this county. Gov ernor Carney has four sons one a law yer in Leavenworth, one a large stock man in Montana, one a stockman near Great Bend, in this State, and the fourth our neighbor, all prosperous, honorable men. The father was a pioneer, and the war, Governor of Kansas, and we are glad to know that his name is so perpet uated by such worthy sons. Manhattan Republic: Recently, Mr. A. D. Ellis discovered that a heifer in his herd had a sore on her nose, and as he feared it might lead to something seri ous, having some time ago had a steer that was affected with a big jaw, he got Drs. Patee and Blachly to go to his ranch and look at the animal. The gentlemen pronounced the case caries it had two decayed teeth. Dr. Blachly extracted them and the heifer has not since been troubled. Probably there are many cases of caries with cattle which arises from unsound theeth, and are not so bad as is often supposed. Kansas City Drover's News: A shipper struck a big scheme in the line of "wet ting down" hogs. A carload of hogs came into the yards, having three gunny sacks filled with ice nailed to the inside of the roof. The melting ice furnished cool, fresh ice water for the backs of the porkers. It is evident some of our Kan Fas shippers are thoroughbred Yankees. El Dorado Times: This "thoroughbred Yankee" was Mr. Levi Childers, who guaiantees the ice to do the business and take the hogs through in excellent shape, amply paying for the outlay in ice. The ice in big chunks is slung across the car in gunny sacks which prevent its rapid melting. It is a paying as well as a nu mane measure and our stockmen should try it. Hodgeman Cor. Dodge City Cowboy: Let us see what Hodgeman county is ca pable cf doing as a stock region (it hav ing bankrupted trying to grow cereals.) It contains 1,152 square miles when fully developed capable of supporting over (K),000 head of cattle, yielding an annual income by growth and increase of over JGOO.OOO per annum, which means wealth instead of pauperism, if pauper citizens are desirable to a government why have they teen shipped back to foreign coun tries and not allowed to land upon our shores, and if not desirable why keep our own people back bv improper and unjust laws? We say let the suggestion of J udge Peters' bill in Congress be car ried out; let the government lands be appropriated to settlers according to what it is fitted for agriculture, grazing or mining purposes. KANSAS FARMING. Noteworthy Incidents Among the Fanners of the State. Abilene Gazette: Dickinson county had 107,000 acres in wheat this year, most of which is now off the ground and one-third of it threshed. Only one coun ty McPherson leads us in the wheat acreage, having about 157,000 acres. Florence Herald; How is this for up land? The wheat crop on Dr. Biekford's land, north of town, graded No. 2, and sold for 72 cents per bushel at the ele vators in Kansas City, which was half a cent more than any other wheat from this locality. Abilene Reflector: N. G. Hershy, south of Abilene, harvested his crop of Mediterranean wheat which averaged over thirty bushels to to the acre with less than ordinary care in its cultivation. This is said to be the best flouring wheat in Kansas, and commands a premium in Chicago. Gaylord Herald: As many as twenty threshing machines were unloaded at this place, and were standing at the de pot grounds at one time the first part of the week. We understand they were all sold beforehand, and still the cry is that there are not machines enough to thresh the grain. Junction City Union: R. L. Kepperling has for four years in succession raised a crop of wheat from the same piece of land, about fifty acres. This year it pro duced him a trifle over thirty-eight bushels per acre. The average of the tract for four years has been thirty bush els per acre. Columbus Star: An eye witness in forms us that many fields of corn north ' of Pittsburg, Crawford county, are entire ly ruined by the chintz bug, the stalks laying flat upon the ground as a result of the work of these pests. Many fields of corn have been badly damaged in this county, but not anything like as bad as the above report. Fort Scott Monitor : There is no doubt but that Southern Kansas will have im mense crops this year of every descrip tion, and if the market remains firm, our farmers can purchase large herds of stock, or have enormous bank accounts. The farmers are getting more prosper ous every year, and can now do their farming with all the improved machin ery of the day. Wonders never cease, says the Arkan sas City Republican. One day last week, John Isom, who lives below town came into the office and saw D. J. Guthrie's twelve inch branch with sixteen apples upon it, and remarked that he probably could excel even that. It takes some thing of a credulous mind to believe that sixteen apples will grow on a branch one foot long, but last Monday, Mr. Isom completely eclipsed any other exhibi tion of fruit reported in the county. He left on our table a branch six inches long, of a Winter variety, containing fourteen well developed and perfectly formed apples. Hutchinson News : Through the cour tesy of Mr, C. H. Sweetzer, the manager of the 6ugar refinery at tins place, we took a drive over their cane fields this week and saw a thousand acres of as handsome cane as can be found any where. The cane has been put in so that they will begin cutting the 15th of August, and will have cane ripening every week It is the intention this year to work everything into a fine grade of sugar. From this crop they will make at least six hundred thousand pounds of sugar and fiftv thousand gallons of svrup. If this year's work is successful there will be added, next year, machinery for mak ing paper from the bagase, which will keep the vast engines, boilers and other machinery busy the year round. Such a factory is at Fort Wayne, Ind., and has proven a big success. Recuperating the Soil. American Agriculturist. Sir John Bennett Lawes has written a chapter for the new edition of Harris' "Talks on Manure in Restoring Fertility to the Soil," a subject that interests all our farmers who do not cultivate a virgin soil. It is a most valuable contribution, and show s how science may be applied with a view to dollars and cents. A rel ative of Mr. Lawes, having several thou sand acres of exceedingly poor and worn-out land, consulted him as to the best methods of treating it. The growth of crops with the aid of artificial manures is discussed, and it is clearly shown why this would not be profitable on such poor land. The plan decided upon was to make the production of meat the basis of renovotion; to stop all tillage and en deaver to get the soil into pasturage by giving it the plant food to enable it to grow good grasses. A flock of sheep was to be allowed to run over the land dur ing the dav and to be folded there every night, and to be fed one pound each of cottonseed cake. The use oi sneep in renovating land is not new to our farm ers, and has often been advocated in these pages, but the fact has rarely been presented in so svstematic a manner. Sheen in flocks of 100, inclosed by mov able fences or hurdles, upon a space of 20 by 25 yards, and the fold3 moved dailv would in ten davs cover an acre each, and the manure of 100 pounds of the cake would be well distributed over that amount of land. This quantity of manure contains 77 pounds of nitrogen, 63 pounds of phosphate of lime and 32 pounds of potash. These fertilizers can not be purchased in any artificial ma nure at so cheap a rate, since the in crease in the weight of the sheep fed in this manner goes far to offset their orig inal cost in the cottonseed cate. J "there is a compact mass of clams five five feet in width, and fully a quarter of a miie long, lhey were looseiitu uy iub recent great northeast storm, and since then every flood tide has heaped them npon the shores in untold numbers. STYLES OP WHISKERS. Prom a Feminine Point of View. Newark Call. "I think somebody ought to formulate language of whiskers," declared a a phi losophical miss to a reporter. "Suppose you begin with the mustache. What is the estimation of the man whose upper lip alone is covered?'' "As a rule, I have a high opinion of the man who wears a mustache. Of course there are noodle-heads who are prouder of their mustaches than a pea cock of his new feathers, but thev are not the ones I endorse, and they reallv do bring the mustache into disrepute. j. ney are a iew faces which are not im proved by a carefully cultivated mus tache, and I think when a mustache, signifies anything at all it is something creditable. Of course, there are mus taches which are as void of expression as the moss on a dead log, and I don't mean that every mustache'is an advo cate for its w earer, but most are. Some men's faces remind me of a royal Bengal tiger, and such are very wise to wear a mustache, which they usually can do. The stiff, brusque, military mustache al ways adds dignity to its possessor, and the man who can wear an iron-gray mus tache should be, I think, an object of en vy to his sex. The mustache brushed back and up I don't like. It makes a man look too flippant. The mustache clipped even with his lips gives a man a sinister air. The extra vgantly long mus tache is a sure indication of inordinate vanity, and the pointed mustache is an exhibition of pitiful weakness or painful snobbery. The most interesting mus tache is the young man's first, and the most delightful is the silky mustache of the voung man of twenty-five." "Well, that s a pretty good starter. Tell us what you think of the imperial or goatee, in all its forms." There are some faces which are dig nified by a shapely imperial, and some men who have worn them look exceed ingly sheepish when they cut them off. They look as if they had lost some merited attribute. The little tuft of hair on the lower lip (I don't know what you call it) gives some men a quizzical look, and is not a bad thing in itself, but I think it generally supercilious. Ihe mustache and chin" whiskers are indica tive of nothing in particular, as I have noticed them worn by farmers, mechan ics and business men alike. I should say, however, that they are a sign tne wearer did not spend his youth in in fashiona ble society." "How about side whiskers.'"' "I abominate side whiskers. Show me a man with long, flowing side whis kers, and I'll show you a man with some objectionable characteristics. I won't begin to lay that down as an infallible rule, but in seven cases out of ten it will hold good. The man with only a small part of his chin shaved is generally blat ant, conceited and unbearable. I don't pretend to give psychological reasons for my opinion ; I simply state that as the result of my observations." " Do you condemn all side whiskers : "No: the mutton chop style is worn by some very earnest and sincere men, and the closely-cropped small side whiskers are an ornament to many. Some voung men and a great many el derly gentlemen are very much im proved by the snort sioe wnisners wnicn extend but a short distance down the cheeks." "What do you see in the style of wear ing chin whiskers, mustache and also small side whiskers, leaving only a small portion of the cheek exposed?" "That style J. detest most oi an. j. have no respect for a man who will get his face in than fantastic garb. It shows a lack of dignity and mental refinement every time. I have not vet found any exception to this rule." - .1 TT 1 A 1 "What does the xiorace vareeiey Biyie indicate?" "Nothing? verv decidedly. It makes some men look like millers, some like baboons and all like drunkards. Still, I have seen some very excellent people who wore their whiskers in that style." , , , "What is the indication wnenomy ute upper lip is shaved?" "It does very well for a minister, but in any other man that style lays the wearer open to suspicion, I think." "How do you like whiskers all over the face?" "Nothing can be said against that style. That is nerectlv natural, and in elderly men it adds great dignity to the face. If not allowed to grow ridiculously long, a full beard, when it is anything like a good healthy material, and not sun burned or untidy, is a great ornament to a face. Some of the most manly faces I ever saw were those covered with a good growth of whiskers, and the looks of some oi tne patnarens auu iueai neiiuo of the master painters nil my idea oi tne highest type of manly beauty." "What do you think of the smooth shaven face?" "Well, it is a personal question which each man should determine for himself. Some men have the features twv finely formed to allow them to justly cover them with whiskers, and such men should always be clean-shaven. To some men it i3 a mercy for whiskers to come and hide their hideousness, while to others whiskers would be an ugly mask." W1X AND HUM3R. It must be a lady editor who answers a correspondent thusly: " How to catch a husband urab him by tne nair. Two Connecticut lovers have just made up after a quarrel which took piace fiftv-eight years ago. borne people can not hold malice. A wicked young man says that he never will, upon any consideration what ever, believe that a pretty girl knows what kiss means till he has it from her own mouth. The Philadelphia directory contains the name of "Carrie Kilgore, lawyer," in large letters, and underneath it the name of "Damon Y. lUgore," her husband, in small letters. "Where shall we find our teacher?" asks an educational exchange. Well, mon-o- rf nnr Kweet pirl teachera mav be found sitting on sofa3 with nice young men any time after 8 o'clock p. m. Drag clerk to diffident young lady "Wish to get something?" Y'oung lady, mutteruogiy "ireaiiy Deneve l ve ior Atton it Kat T came for." Clerk, who catches the last words "Camphor; how 1 4a 1ft much, please; "Thv didn't I co to her assistance?" said the man who stayed in bed while his wife laid out a ourgiar. xoung man, I've had a number oftussels with the old gal, and I knew that burglar had trouble enough without my giving him any." Dear Hubby: Please send me by money-order 50. I want to get a dress. Genevieve.. P. S. I had almost for-' gotten to send you my love. Your little wifey. G. Dear Genevieve: I send you my undying best love. Your hus band, Charles. P. S. I had almost for gotten to say that I can't send the $50. With a kiss. C. "Lizzie," remarked lier lover to a sweet Boston school miss, "I saw you kissing your cousin Laura the other day. Please don't do it again. That's a love. I hate to see girls kissing each other.' "Lor' Charley," exclaimed the fair sus pect, "I wasn't kissing her. We were only swapping chewing-gam." A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, especially of foreign languages. Jones is very fond of sticking in bits of French prigged from Ouidas novels, and the other day when Brown chaffed him about a showy looking young lady whom he was seen walking "down Broadway with, he made answer: "Haw, haw, dear boy, that was only ma cuisine." "Everybody must grow old you know," said Mrs. Bass to her husband, who had been remarking upon the rapid airing of one of Mrs. B.'s dear friends. "Not ev erybody, dear," replied Bass; "everybody who lives long enoueh, yeu mean;" add ing pathetically, "I should grieve to think that my sweet wife would ever grow old." It is whispered that the Basses are not living on the best of terms just now. "So your husband is a drummer ?" re marked Mrs. Smith. "You'll excuse me for saying it, but they do say that drum mers are awful flirts. Is it really so?" x don t know anything about the oth ers," replied Mrs. Green, but I know that John isn't. Why, he doesn't take any notice of the women at all 1 Leastways, he doesn't take any notice of me when he is at home, and he'd be more likely to take notice of me than other women." The hour was twilight and as the lus tre of the stars grew brighter in the gath ering darkness he pressed his lips to the forehead of the beautiful women who stood beside him and said tenderly: W hen will you consent to name the day of our union, darling to let the wings of my imagination rest?" And she an swered, nestling her cheek against his shoulder: "When you have your life in sured, dearest, and made me a present of the policy." No, said Togg, at the circus, I don t take any interest in the performance of the woman with the iron jaw. Don't ask me why. Y"ou don't know Mrs. Fogg." Boston Iranscritt. Can you speak of a young lady as be ing brow-beaten wThen she has her hair banged. Burlinaton Free Press. An exchange says that bores are kill ing pine trees in North Carolina. This seems to be the only respect in which editors and pine trees are alike. Bur lington Free Press. The big gun, politically, has a sight on each end of the barrel. St. Louis Sayings. AVashington could not tell a lie but, then, Washington never had a cross eyed tailor dun him for a pair of picnic pants. Fall Rtver Advance. "I don't see," said Noodles, "how a friend in need is a friend in deed. Now. I have got several fiiends in need, and they always strike me for the loan of a dollar or two whenever they meet me." Fx. The old ticket The pawnbrokers.' St. Louis Critic. The Rev. Joseph Cook is lecturing on "The Seven Wonders of the World." Joe should make it Eight, and include hia collassal cheek. St. Louis Magazine. "What is good for potato bugs?" asks the Oil City Derrick. We want to re mark that nice young potato plants are about as good as anything we know of. Warsaw Wasp. "Ah, me!" exclaimed the girl, when her feminine friend said to her, "How bright your beau's 6hoes are," I wish he was as bright at the other end." Toledo American. The editor wrote of an actress that she was very "vivacious," but the second syl lable somehow got mislaid in the setting, and the editor became tired of life. Bos ton Star. Dr. Talmage says that each year this country spends a billion and a half for rum. And mighty poor rum too. That's what worries all of us.Doctor. WULiams- port Breakant Table. A noiseless roller skate ha3 been in vented, but the bumps on the floor sound as loud as ever. Phila. Call. A Cincinnati dairyman was drowned recently. He is supposed to have fallen into the water while getting his morning supply of milk. Boston Poet. A barrel of money makes a hog set in society. N. O. Picayune. One of Governor Curtin's Stories. Pittsburg Telegraph. Governor Curtin, now, is a very good story teller. Down in the Foreign Aflairs Committee room at Washington the oth er day he was giving a few sketches of old-time life to an appreciative group of silver grays. Among others, this is one of his lirst law cases: "It was in the old times of contract prison labor in Penn sylvania," he said, when the convicts in the county jail were let out at auction to the n ighboring farmers to work during the harvest season. Very little watch was kept over them, but such was the reverence for the law and the quality of the jailer's board that few of them ever attempted to escape. One of them sur prised me by coming into my office one morning while I was sweeping out. I wasn't proud in those days, lie wanted me to get him out of jail on a habeas corpus. What reason do you suppose he gave? 'I was working out at Mr. Walkinshaw's yesterday, your Honor,' he said, 'and we had a big jag of hay down. When the horn blew in the eve ning it looked for rain, and I stayed an hour or two to help get the hay under cover. I got in a bit after dark, and, would you believe it, that hard-heaited beast of a jailer had locked me out? I had to sleep in the street, and I have the rheumatism in my bones, and I'll stop no more with a man that uses me in that way, I want you to get me out.'" A tobacco man of Macon has agreed to pay a candy merchant $12 fot the can dy he can eat in one month. The tobac conist believes that he can eat much more than $12 worth, while the candy merchant holds the opposite opinion.