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THE; KANZAS NEWS:
PabHsy Erery. Salarday Monmiii lepers, Kasas, B"5T I B- PLUMB. . Txaxs 7V DoUart per annum, in advance. Rates of Advertising. . first insertion, per line, ten cents; each subse quent insertion, fire cento; one dollar a line, per annum. Displayed advertisements one-half over the above rates. All transient and foreign adver tisements must be accompanied by the cash, to in sure insertion. : JOB PRINTING. v, ; ! Tb office of Th Kaszas NaWis faraiahd 1 with a complete assortment of the newest style -of Type, Borden, Flourishes, Cuts, Cards; Fancy f Papers, Colored Inks, Bronze, &c, enabling the proprietor to print Cocclama, Caim, Czxtiticxtjm or Srocx, Dune, Posrsas. and all other kinds of Job Pkixtrtg, in s manner unsurpassed in tha country. Particular attention paid to printing, all kinds of Blanks. Orders for work promptly attended to when accompanied with Cass. "Ex- " cstaoa is our motto.5 : : "the people ALWAYS CONQUER." ByP.B. Plumb. ESlPORLi, KANZAS, NOVEMBElt 7, 1857. Yol. 1-3STO. 19. The Kanzas News. A.TURDAY,:::::::::NOVE3IBER T, 1857. "Who Spends the Money? The women of America hare of late been paying the penalty of their position. From the extreme of obsequious galantry in re gard to them, we are passing to the oppo site excess of vituperative injustice. We are treating them, in fact, very much as the African savage treats hi3 Fetish. In the times of our prosperity, we could not suffi ciently adulate these lovely and omnipotent beings. We could refuse them nothing. The best seats at hotel tables, the only seats in railway cars, the decencies of the steam boat decks, and the decorum of the steam boat supper werealike reserved for them. We exacted of our police only one duty, to escort our wives and drughters daintily through the perils of the streets and we expected of- all men only one virtue, that of an almost servile courtesy to the ladies. But adversity has overtaken us, and all is changed. The pretty creatures of yesterday are the "extravagant syrens" of to-day. Miss Flora McFlimsey is the type of her thoughtless and treacherous sex, and the piteous cry of "nothing to pay," which comes up from all the desperate debtors of the land, we declare to be but the echo of the iniquitous female complaint of "noth ing to wear." The argument of this alter ation in the tone of the men is not a new one. 'It is as old, indeed, as the troubles of"gar den Adam and his wife." The man has got himself into a scrape, and the woman must be his excuse. She was born to be his "help-meet," and if she can't save him from the consequences of his folly, at least he may throw on her shoulders the blame. Whose fault it is, by the way, that those lovely shoulders so often need something thrown on them, he does not, in his flurry of selfish concern, particularly pause to in quire. There let the blame fall, and rest if it may. Now we do not pretend to deny that cer tain classes of women in America have of late years been living to dress, to drive and to dance. We do not pretend to deny that an order of frivolous females has flowered out of the soil of this New World, remark able among the simpletons of the earth for an exclusive development of all sorts of ex travagant faults. We do not pretend to de ny that the vulgar aims and the vulgar am bitions of reckless and money-seeking men have been fairly matched among us by the equally vulgar aims and the equally vulgar ambitions of reckless and money-spending women. But we do deny most emphati cally that the women of America, or that the women of New York, are as a body liable to the charge of recklessness and ex travagance, or as a body responsible in any appreciable degree for the present calami ties of the financial and the commercial world. This very City of Gotham, where of the name is a synonym throughout the land for all manner of gorgeous follies, and costly absurdities and expensive immorali ties, teems at this moment with quiet, lov ing, sincere and honorable women, who regulate their own households, and share with their husbands the anxieties of his in dustrious career, and lighten by their coun sel as well as by their sympathy the bur dens of his perplexing affairs. Hundreds and thousands of these women there are, and in every rank of life, in the circles of fashion as well as in the homes of mechanic toil, whom the trials of this critical season will find as the trials of "prosperity have found them "Nobly planned, to warn, to comfort and command." As the skies darken, as the need of re trenchment makes itself more sharply and more universally felt, as one luxury after another must be put down by the opulent, and one comfort after another sacrificed by the merely well-to-do, this truth will be nobly vindicated in a thousand households. No man who knows the sex and their ways will doubt that the Cashmere will be relin quished, to say the least, quite as cheerfully as the "Morgan horse," and that Mrs. Smith will find it quite as easy to counter mand her soiree as Mr. Smith to resign his membership at the Club. The statistics of the Past on this subject are eloquent enough to be of some use, perhaps, to those who doubt about the Future, and who tremble afresh for Wall-street whenever they think of Fifth-avenue. It has become a common-place of mis ogymist declamation, for instance, to aver that the "excessive importations of super fluous goods from foreign countries," to which a certain set of economists choose to trace our present disorders, have been pro voked by the extravagance of our women. Crinoline, moire gloves and feathers, fans and furbelows, kickshaws and gewgaws, these have ruined us ! These have drained us of our Western wheat and our Califor nian gold, to give us in return only hotel flirtations and watering-place polkas. Let us see how this matter stands. For the fiscal year 1855-6, the importations of silk goods into this country amounted to 825, 200,651. Truly a "parlous" sum and a tremendously effective figure of speech for a "sermon on the times" or a lecture on the ladies. But statistics are like puddings; the proof of their value is only to be got at by discussion. Out of these mill tons of dollars worth of silk, there are certain mas culinities to be deducted. We must abstract therefrom all the sleeve and skirt-linings of some four millions of male coats, all the cravats and waistcoats of silk that the American men from Maine to California contrive in a twelvemonth to consume, re membering when we make the sum, that the "black satin waistcoat" may almost be considered as a "national costume" in cer tain portions of our beloved country ; all the mystical ribbons and aprons of all the Orders and Lodges which swarm in the land; all the flags and banners in which we Americans so extravagantly delight, togeth er with such silken vanities in the way of cushions, curtains fcc, as are common to both sexes. Allowing less than two and a quarter millions for all these things, we have a total of twenty -three millions of dollars spent by our women in silks. Is this exr travagant ? : At an average of two dollars per yard in price, the quantity of silk thus represented would be eleven and a half mil lions of yards, equal, as a reasonable young ladv assures us, to a million of tsilk dresses made very moderately. Now there . were in the United States in 1850, just 3,363,427 houses occupied by free persons. Of these houses, it is a low estimate to assume that 1,500,000 were tenanted by families whose incomes averaged 81,000 per annum. We have, therefore, the proof before - us, that out of 1,500,000 households whose re sources would certainly justify the expense, only two-thirds can possibly have indulged themselves in the purchase of a single silk dress during the years 18567. Again, our importation of gloves in the same time amounted to 81,344,550. This comprises the value of gloves of all kinds "Ind sites, and if we limit the men and children to the 8344,550, it gives us just a single million of dollars-spent upon the de fence and ornament of the eight millions of white hands upon which six millions of adult male lips kept constantly swearing fealty for twelve long months. Thread laces are certainly in modern times a purely female gaud, though the legend still sur vives in this City of a gentleman whose nuptial garments were made beauteous with borders of point; and thread laces are costly. Yet in 18567 our account for this triviality rose only to 8410,591, against a purely masculine expenditure of 8576,435 for fancy foreign fire-arms! Much was said last year of the female expenditure in furs, but the remorseless tables of the Treasury set off against 8605,607 of gar ment furs 81,755,704 imported by mascu line hatters. The embroideries of the year constitute a serious item, rising to 84,604, 353, but it is perhaps as well that no ob servations thereupon should be indulged by us, who spent at the same time 84,7654, 582 in cigars and foreign smoking tobacco, and who must bear pretty largely the re sponsibility of disbursing over 87,500,000 for foreign wines and spirits. Xew York Times. The Rebellion in India. Rev. G. L. Hay, who went from Indian apolis, Ind., about seven years ago, to In dia, as a Missionary of the Assembly's Board (Old School Presbyterian) and who was stationed in the Northern Presidency when the rebellion occurred, escaped, with his family, and returned home by way of England. He arrived in New York recent ly, and from statements given by him to the New York papers we obtain the follow ing as his views of the progress and pros pects of the rebellion : The causes of the mutiny are more wide-! reaching in the Bengal Presidency than in either of the other two Bombay and Ma dras. The principal of these is to be found in the policy pursued by the government in the construction of the army. While in Bombay and Madras the native forces are constituted of more heterogeneous materials, in Bengal, caste has been recognized, and the entire force drawn from a homogeneous set of men, who have always looked upon themselves as a superior class, and who nev er have and never will work. To be soldiers, and as such superior to other men, is their social condition and pride. In thus attach ing to itself the military caste, the govern ment believed that it was securing "the strength of the country, and that it could play off caste against caste with security. It is this pampered pride that has now turned upon those who fostered it. Mus selman ambition has joined with the Brah minical teachers, and they have used eve ry means to stimulate the pride of the Se poys and their hatred for anything that might tend to deprive them of their social superiority. So far as regards the great mass of the other inhabitants, Mr. Hay does not think they are deeply imbued with the spirit of disaffection. The administra tion of justice by the British officials has been equitable; and though some of the na tive officers of the government have abused thier power, and ill-treated the native pop ulation subject to them, the mass of the people recognize in the British rule a far better administration than has ever been ex perienced under native government. They are therefore not deeply interested in the success of the mutineers, except so far as the excited fanaticism of some may lead them to participate in it. A Beautiful Thought. Distance cannot divide the heart from the objects of its love. Timo cannot hide them in the misty mazes of the Past. The beautiful faces of the loved look out upon us as truly now from the mirror of " our hearts as when we sobbed good-bye in the weary days agone. We feel the clasp of the quivering hand, and hear the quaver of the trembling voice, whose music was sweet er than the songs of birds, and we wonder our lips could have uttered the dread "good bye," to one to whom our heart can never sound that knell. "With silence only as their benediction. Goo's angels come ? "Where, in the shadow of a great affliction. The soul sits dumb. Wis. Free Dem. The Husking. , The barn was a vast rustic bower that night. One end was heaped with corn ready for husking; the floor was neatly swept ; and over bead, the rafters were con cealed by heavy garlands of white pine, golden maple leaves, and red oak branches, that swept from the roof downwards like a tent. Butternut leaves wreathed their clus tering gold among the dark green hemlock, while sumac cones, with flame-colored leaves, shot through the gorgeous forest branches. The rustic chandalier wa3 in full blaze, while now and then, a candle gleamed out through the garlands, starring them to the roof." Still the illumination wa3 neither broad nor bold, but shed a delicious star light through the barn that left much to the imagination, and concealed a thousand little signs of love-making, that would have been ventured on more sidy had the light been broader. . Philosophy and Fact. In the progress of slavery growth it be came necessary to enunciate authoritatively the maxim that negroes had no rights which white men were bound to respect. Only upon the recognition of that principle can slavery be justified or sustained, and while it is now well understood, received and practiced upon where slavery exists as an institution, the Northern mind is expected first to tolerate, and then embrace it, pre paratory to the recognition of slavery and its establishment in its midst. The maxim is capable of a very broad con struction and application. However nar row may be our first view of it, and however restricted we may propose to apply it, even j if only to the matter of denying suffrage, it will inevitably grow on our hands, and eventually work out its complete and ulti mate recognition and application, which is to reduce the negro precisely to the level of the horse or ox. There is no medium ground. Nature has imbued all her laws with an in- j herent vitality and activity, and there is no 6uch thing as stagnation or quiescence in any of them. A bad principle never ceases its demands on its adherents, until the death which it leads down to has been fairly reach ed; and a good principle has eternally an upward step, a new blessing, and a new life for those who adhere to it. Then we say this doctrine, although now perhaps applied only to depriving the negro of the right of suffrage, cannot stop short of reducing him to the level of the horse and the ox. Even this, to many may not appear objec tionable. They may be prepared to say, as they do now, that it is his natural condition the best place for him he belongs there, &c, die. But there is another view to this question to which we wish to call attention, which is the effect of this condition upon whites. Law does not begin and end with human legislation. God stamped his im press on humanity before legislatures were invented and they are powerless to destroy it. The relation of mind to mind and the mutual effect of such relation belongs to statutes more enduring than the Constitution of the United States, and which that instru ment is powerless to effect. We may re duce the negro to this condition of abject physical degradation, but it is an inevitable law that the moral degradation of the ty rant is in exact harmony with the physical degradation of the subject, and the brute which we propose to make of the negro is the brute first of our own minds and souls. However we may fail to appreciate it, hu manity lives and is linked together by a common bond, and we can drag no man down the plane of being without preceding him in the descent. History is full and running over with warning to us on this point. Even aC this moment India thunders the lesson in our ears. Her history has been, from the first, one of fraud, rapine and oppression, on the part of the dominant race. England has acted from the start on the assumption that the dark race of India had no rights which Englishmen were bound to respect, and on this theory they have been generating the basest of passions in themselves and their subjects until nature could go no low er, and a convulsion exists which threatens a common ruin, and in which each seems to strive to excel the other in horrible cruel ty. If the English were to analyze the in dividual cruelties practiced on them by the natives they would find them the creatures of their own generation distorted and exag gerated by the prolific element of cruelty in which planted. It is utterly impossible that any such re lation as master and slave can be sustained between sentient beings without working out the results indicated. Jefferson had a clear perception of the state of the case, when he said: "The whole commerce between master and slave is a perpetual exercise of the most boisterous passions; the most unremitting despotism on the one part and degrading sub mission on the other. Our children see this and learn to imitate it. The parent storms, the child looks on, catch es the lineaments of wrath, puts on the same airs in the circle of the smaller slaves, gives loose to his worst passions, and thus nursed, educated and daily exercised in ty ranny, cannot but be stamped by it with odious peculiarities. The man must be a progidy who can retain his manners and morals undepraved by such circumstances." Here, as we view it, is the great merit of this slavery question and slavery dispute; and were our hatred of the negro ever so great, and our love of self and the white race exclusively ever so strong, that hate and that egotism would imbue us with a deadly hostility to every species of oppres sion. We may enact what we please, resolve what we please enunciate what we please from our Supreme Court, yet the wheels of eternal law move steadily on, and no man or nation can escape their operations. Noth ing is clearer, both from philosophy and the teachings of history, than this, that the oppression of any part of humanity, be that part black, white or blue sooner or la ter recoils in manifold horrors on the heads of the oppressors. - If the doctrine is to be received and es tablished, and acted on, that negroes have no rights which we are bound to respect, we are inevitably unfitting ourselves for the recognition or practice of any of the moral duties of life, we are destroying our capac ity to maintain a government . which can have no other possible sure basis than one of morality and intelligence among the people, and, beyond question, are invoking that same ruin, which from this same cause, has overtaken every preceding Republic of earth. Let U3 be warned, and let us be wise in time. Wisconsin Free Democrat. Dishonesty in pecuniary transactions seems to have invaded every circle. The American Sunday School Union, of Phila delphia, have published a card announcing the defalcation of the Corresponding Sec retary, Mr. F. W. Porter, for an amount believed not to exceed . 888,883. He has issued notes and acceptances at various times to that amount without entering them upon the books of the Society. . From the Cincinnati Commercial. ; - - The Suspension. As the editor of the New York Tribune would phrase it The panic has become gen eral. In other words, our monetary sys tem has Ccllapsedi There is what is equiv alent to an universal suspension of specie payments. So far from being able to aid the business community through the diffi culties into which, by their complicity, it has fallen, the banks have demonstrated their impotency to preserve themselves from a" state of insolvency. If they have per- j formed their duty, they did not close their ! doors until they had placed all the specie j which their coffers contained in the hands of . their creditors, to relieve as far as ' possible j the public necessity. Whether they have done so does not, except in a few cases, as 1 yet appear ; but it is probable that during the, severe draught of several weeks past, the store of coin has been pretty nearly ex pended. The first effect of the suspension is a'slight" appearance ""of relief in the great markets of the country. The prices of grain have met a small advance ; but whether this is not owing rather to a depreciation in the market value of currency, now unconverti ble, than to any movement in the price of the article as brought to a specie standard, is a question which we would rather sug gest than attempt to decide. We must not, however, forget that the tendency of an in convertible currency is perpetually toward depreciation, producing differences that are constantly varying between the nominal and j the real value of everything that is the sub ject of business operations, j The suspension of the moneyed institu- tions, as they are called, of the Union, is j simply a step in a downward progress that commenced several years ago. The banks I and mercantile failures that occurred in this I city some three years since, were indications I that the soundness of the business constitu tion of the country had been sapped that the culminating point had been passed, and that a reaction had begun ; and although the most strenuous endeavors have been j making to recover the ground that was lost, and place things in a healthy condition, the expedients employed being merely a repeti tion and intensification of past bad practices, have only had the effect still further to un dermine the basis of our prosperity, until an universal crash became inevitable. We have now, so far as affirmative acts are con cerned, reached the worst the commtinity is powerless for good, and fortunately almost equally powerless for evil. Little can be done by individual acts or combined exer tion. Even 6agacity will be in a great measure at fault ; and society will be forced, in its helplessness, to await the slow but sure operation of those potent and para mount natural laws, which ever and anon, when man has bound himself in web a of his own devices, come in with the benignity of a Providence, to release him from the con sequences of his madnes and folly. And yet the worst ha3 not been reached. There will be many things to suffer before all the results of past intemperance have been eradicated from the system. There will be suffering in every walk and bianch of busi ness, and to every order and occupation will be brought home a realizing sense of the sad effects that spring from the laying of a false and unsound basis upon which to build the structure that embodies the entire economi cal concerns of a great people. What attempts will be made to relieve and palliate the troubles that are rushing upon us, it is difficult to predict. The present is one of those times when empyrics, quacks, and men of desperate expedients, are apt to gain more influence than they deserve. Thousands are crying out for something to be done, who will be ready to give their faith to any scheme, however shallow or vi olent, that carries with it a specious prom ise of relief. Attempts will, doubtless, be made in some quarters, and perhaps with success, to induce the suspended banks to issue largely, for the relief, as it is said, of the community. Such a course might prolong, by retarding that final adjustment which must take puce before any substantial relief can be realized, but in the end would al ways be, as it always has been, an additional element of distress and disturbance. "A paper currency," says ,one of the ablest of modern writers upon political econ omy, "which the maker is not able and le gally bound to redeem in coin at the will of the holder, whether issued by the gov ernment, by incorporated or joint stock bankers, or by indivitual bankers, is one of the greatest evils that can aflict any coun try." That evil we have already upon us a thing whose market price to-day will furnish no indication of its price to-morrow whose value at any time is perhaps mere ly a thing of the imagination whose pos session is not wealth, nor even the assurance of the means of subsistence; and whose principal function will be to derange and unsettle all our idea3 of value, and to give an additional insecurity to every business transaction. As little as possible of this is the best for every community, whatever may be the straits to which it is reduced. And what is to be the end and the char acter of the final adjustment, when at length it shall be reached? Experience supplies the answer. The wiping out of millions upon millions of indebtedness that can never be paid. The obligations that were contracted upon the pledge of the winds that were shut up in the bags of Eolus, must be released when . the bags are punctured and the basis has escaped. Until there is a re inflation there can be no hopes of pay ment. Bankrupt laws belong to the same category with paper-money inflations and explosions; and it is only through the ope ration of such laws, or their equivalent, that a final adjustment of the vast unrepre sentative debt of the United States can take place. Is there any truth in the report that the Arabs who live in the desert have sandy hair ? and is it also true that those who live by the Red Sea have carroty hair ? - "Won't you take half of this poor apple?" said a pretty damsel.. 'No, I thank you; I would prefer a better half." Eliza blushed and referred him to her papa- From the Olive Branch. Annie Laurie "If yon want to hear Annie Laurie sung, come to my house," said a man to his friend. "We have a love-lorn fellow in the village, who was sadly wrecked by the refusal of a girl whom he had Veen paying attention to for a year or more. It is seldom he will attempt the song, but when he does, I tell you, it draws tears from eyes unused to weeping." A small select company had assembled in a small pleasant parlor, and were gaily chatting and laughing when a tall young man entered, whose peculiar face and air instantly arrested the attention. He was very pale, with that clear vivid complexion, which dark haired consumptives so often have. His locks were as black as jet, and hung profusely upon a square white collar. His eyes were very large and spiritual, and his brow such an one as a poet should have. But for a certain wandering look, a casual observer would have pronounced him a man of uncommon intellectual powers. The words "poor fellow" and "how sad he looks," went the rounds as he came forward, ( bowed to the company, and took his seat. One or two thoughtless girls laughed as they whispered that he was "love-cracked," j -but the rest treated him with a respectful deference. . It was late in the evening when singing was proposed, and to ask him to sing "An nie Laurie" was a task of uncommon deli cacy. One song after another was sung, and at last that one was named. At its mention the young man turned deadly pale, but did not speak; he seemed instantly to be lost in i reverie. "The name of the girl who treat i ed him so badly was Annie," said a lady, whispering to the new guest but oh ! I wish he would sing it; nobody else can do it justice." "No one dares sing Annie Laurie before you, -Charles," said an elderly lady; "would it be too much to ask you to favor the company with it?" she added timidly. He did not reply for a moment his lips quivered a little, and then looking up as if he saw a spiritual presence, he began. Ev ery sound was hushed it seemed as if his voice were the voice of an angel. The tones vibrated through nerve, and pulse, and heart, and made one shiver with the pathos of his feelings; never was heard mel ody in a human voice like that so plaint ive, so soulfull so tender and earnest ! He sat with his head thrown back, his eyes half closed the locks of hair glisten ing against his pale temples, his fine throat swelling with the rich tones, his hands light ly folded before him; and as he sung "And 'twas there that Annie Laurie Gave me her promise true " it 6emed as if he shook from head to foot with emotion. Many a lip trembled and there was no jesting, no laughing; but in stead, tears in more than one eye. And on he sang, and on, holding every one in rapt attention, till he came to the last verse- "Like dew on the gowan lying Is the fa of her fairy feet And like winds in summer sighing. Her voice low and Bwect. Her voice is low and sweet And she's a' the world to me " He paused before he added "And for bonnie Annie Laurie, I'd lay me down and die." There was a long solemn pause. The black locks seemed to grow blacker the white temples whiter almost impercepti bly the head kept" falling back the eyes were close shut. One glanced at another all seemed awe-struck till the same person who urged him to sing, laid her hand gent ly on his shoulder, saying, "Charles, Charles!" Then came a husli a thrill of horror crept through every frame the poor tried heart had ceased to beat Charles, the love betrayed was dead. Working Girls. Happy girls ! who cannot love them ? With cheeks like the roses, bright eyes, and elastic step, those girls will make excellent wives. Blest indeed will those men be who secure such prizes. Contrast those who do nothing but sigh all day, and live to follow the fashions, who never earn the bread they eat, or the shoes they wear; who are lan guid and lazy from one week's end to the ' other. Who but a simpleton and popinjay would prefer one of the latter, if he were i looking for a companion ? 1 ! Give us the working girls; they are worth their weight in gold. You never see them mincing along, or jump a dozen feet to steer clear of a spider or a fly; they have no af fectation or silly airs about them. When they meet you, they speak without putting on a dozen silly airs, in trying to show off to better advantage; and you feel as if you were talking to a human being, and not to a painted automaton, or fallen angel. If girls knew how badly they missed it while they endeavor to show off their deli cate hands and unsoiled skins, and put on a thousand airs, they would give worlds for the situation of the working ladies, who are as far above them in intelligence, in honor, in everything, as the heavens are above the earth. . ' ' The Press. The press is the ruling power of the times. The age of statesmen is over, and the age of the printing press has come. What" the invention of gunpowder was to war, making any man who could pull a trig ger equal to the most powerful . warrior, the press is to a reading age. We have in vented the pamphlet. We have called' into existence the fourth estate of the realm, it is brains. Men sometimes thick that the great brows at Washington control the na tion. So the boy who first sees a steam boat thinks that the walkingbeam is the propelling power, but below there is a "fa natic" feeding the fires. Wendell Phillips. Sorghcx. Chinese sugar-cane is raised in many gardens of Minneapolis and St. Anthony, and in some instances has attain ed the hight of fourteen feet. This - veget able is now a fixed fact in" Minnesota.- Some is being ground into , syrup in St. Paul. Mm Rep. A righting Turk. " Pierce Pungent," in the New York Sievs tells the following good 6tory : "During the operations of the allies in the -Crimea, it was resolved to Carry the water in from a beautiful spring of the finest Cro ton to the camp. Leather pipes or hose was : employed. - - . . ' While the water was being supplied the mitared sounded to prayer, and one of the : Turkish soldiers immediately went flop on his knees to' praise Allah ! Unfortunately he went down upon the hose, and the : weight consequently stopped the current of that "finest of elements," as Pindar calls water, in his first Olympiad. "Get up," cried an English soldier.- Youlez vous avoir la bonte mon chtr, Jim sieur la Turque," cried a Frenchman, with native politeness to "get up." I - "That arn't the way to make a Turk I move," cried another; "this is the dodge." j So saying he knocked h3 turban off. -Still ! the pious Mussalman went on with his de-' votion. "I'll make him stir his trumps," sa'tj another Englishman, who had kicked him on the lumbar region. To the wonder of all, the well-kicked follower of the prophet went on praying as though he was a forty horse parson. 4 " Hoot away, mon I'll show you how we serve obstinate folks at auld Beekie," quietly observed a Scotchman; he was, how ever prevented, for the Turk having finished his Allahvis en Allah rose and began to take off his coat, then to roll up his sleeves and then to bedew his palms with saliva, and then to put himself in the most ap proved boxing attitude, a la Yankee Sulli van. He then advanced in true Tom Hyer style to the Englishman who had kicked him on the lumbar region. "A ring 1 a ring I" shouted the soldiers and sailors, perfectly astonished to see a Turk such an' adept in the fistic art. The Englishman nothing loth to have a" bit of fun with a Turk of such a truly John Bull state of mind, set to work, but found he had met his master in five minutes he had received his quantum svff. As the Turk coolly replaced his coat and turban, he turn' ed round and said to the admiring bystand ers, in the pure brogue : "Bad luck to ye, ye spalpeens; when ye are afther kicking a Turk, I'd advise ye the next time to jist be sure he's not an Irish'' man." The mystery was solved our Turk was a Tipperary man. A Witty Be tort. There is a 6tory on record of an archi tect repudiating any connection with the building fraternity, in the case of the late eminent and talented Mr. Alexander, the architect of the Rochester bridge, and sev eral other fine buildings in the county of Kent. He was under cross examination, in a special jury case at Maidstone, by Sar geant (afterwards Baron) Garrow, who wished to detract from the weight of his testimony, and who, after asking him what his name was, proceeded thus: "You are a builder, I believe ?" 44 No sir J I am not a builder I am an architect." ; "Ah, well ! Architect or builder, builder or architect, they are much the same I suppose." 4 'I beg your pardon, sir, I cannot admit that; I consider them totally different." "Oh, indeed 1 perhaps you will state wherein this great difference consists V "An architect, sir,- prepares the plans, conceives the designs, draws out the speci fications in short, supplies the mind. .The builder is merely the bricklayer or carpen ter the builder, in fact, is the machine; the architect the power that puts the machine together and sets it going." " O, very well, Mr. Architect, that will do t And now, after your very ingenious distinction without a difference, perhaps you could inform the court who was the archi tect of the tower of Babel ?" And now mark the reply which for promptness and wit, is perhaps not to be rivalled in the whole history of rejoinder : "There was no architect, sir; and hence the confusion 1" . A Pretty Idea. Little Carrie Perkins was a great pet of mine; indeed, she was the sunbeam of the house. She was only three years old, but she had a strangely mature way of talking sometimes, that made her seem very inter esting. Every night I went regularly to her room for a good-night kiss; and I never shall forget how sweetly she used to look in her Hole night-dress, as she knelt down by her mother's side and said "Our Father," nor how reverently she used to fold her lit' tie hands at the close, and 6ay: "Good night, dear God, and please take good care of little Carrie." "Why, Carrie," said her mother the first time 6he added this to her prayer, 44 You shouldn't talk to God so.' " Shouldn't I ?" said the little, prattler. I love God, and why shouldn't I say good night to him before I go to sleep, just as I do to you and Aunt Annie ?' ' - Her mother smiled thoughtfully, but only replied by kissing her, and always that she repeated her good-night petition. Knickerbocker. Dumbfoundering. . . - A . man of unblemished character was candidate for a large constituency, and the following means were used to get rid of him: "At a large public meeting an elector got up and said, 'I demand the exercise "of my right to ask that candidate a question. Will he answer me Yes or,No, like an honest man ?' ; 'Undoubtedly I will A most in cautious promise, as the reader will guess. Well,' then said the elector, 'I ask that gentleman Who tilled his washerwoman t" What was the poor man to say ? What yes or no could answer the question ? He hes itated, he stammered ; the meeting was against him , he was . hustled out of the room, and to this day he labors under the grave imputation in many people's rainda, of having feloniously accelerated the death of some unfortunate, and perhaps in-uedi washerwoman. " ' '