OCR Interpretation


Thomas County cat. [volume] (Colby, Kan.) 1885-1891, October 06, 1887, Image 2

Image and text provided by Kansas State Historical Society; Topeka, KS

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn85032814/1887-10-06/ed-1/seq-2/

What is OCR?


Thumbnail for

PTSwSSSFSiiST
5E
THOMAS COOTTY OAT.
JOSEPH A. CILL, Editor.
COLBY,
KANSAS.
WHY SHE REFUSED.
He met her at the party gay
A neighbor gave across the way,
And deemed her such a charming ell
He loved her better than himself.
So, like a brave young cavilier,
lie thought all obstacles to clear.
He spent his cash for livery team,
For candy, nuts and dear ice-cream;
"When cash is scarce he runs up bills
For whatsoe'r the dear one wills.
There's nothing liUe to love's young dream.
The present does so pleasant seem.
Through all the world it is the same;
And so, one night, the question came:
' Say, darling, will you be my wifei
I'll guard you from the storms of lire;
Pray, answer me, I do entreat!
See, dear, I'm Kneeling at your feet."
44 Oh, please get up," at last she said.
44 Indeed, I ne'er intend to wed.
I never thought that you meant all
You said, ugn oft you" came to call;
I hope you may be happy yet;
So, pray forgot we ever met!"
41 First, g ve a reason then," he said,
' Whj you have vowed to never wed."
4' Ah, would you know and be my friend,
I'll tell the story to the end.
I had a sister without foes;
You could not count her many beaux;
Her pockets were with candy filled;
She ice-cream had when e'er she willed
"With sleigli, and car, ami buggy rides,
To sandwich in between, besides;
"Until, one fatal day, for life
She pledged to be a petted wife.
Then came the talked-of joys of home;
He said, lie c.ired no more to roam.
No ice-cream since then has she tasted;
And, as for her, the snow was wasted;
She ne'er a single sleigh-ride got
1 know a married woman's lot.
Although she sajshcr husband's kind,
He falls below my standard, mind;
And so, to me, it best doth seem,
To single stay, and eat ice-cream."
And then, so dieamily she smiled,
A if by happy thoughts beguiled,
"While as behind him closed the door,
He vowd to ne'er trust woman more.
Mrs. V. M. Hch'innon, m Chicago Journal.
CHANGING SANDS.
A Strango Story of Adventure .i
the Gold Begions.
Original.!
N the fall of lSoO a
party of California
. prospectors li a d
worked their way
u p among the
northern "foot
hills." There were
"Pert" Standish, a
joar before a Bos
ton banker's clerk
and society man; Bat Ireland, Joe
French, Greaser Bent, my brother
Harry and myself. Our provisions
were running low. Bent had boasted
of his knowledge of the country, and,
as he stoutly asserted his ability to re
turn in a few days with supplies, was
allowed to take one of our two mules
and go on the search. We who
stayed agreed to leave signals for his
guidance if we moved on. Six days
passed, but Bent had not appeared.
A hungrier set seldom comes to any
table than came to that rough split
section of a redwood branch, renting
on tin peeled crotched sticks driven
into the ground. Standish, who was
cook that day, nourished over his head
a well-pol'shed bone that had once be
longed to a fat porker.
'Look at that, boys," said he.
"We're fiat broke on ham; the last
flour bag looks lean, the saleratus can
grins at you every time you open it,
and the pork and beans have almost
vanished."'
"Ef Pat vould make do bread dere
votild be saleratus in do poches," said
French Joe.
"Sure an' whin Joe '11 be afthcr
cookin' tho banes we'll slhrikc it rich
an' pibbles," said Pat, looking fiercely
at Joe.
"How far to the nearest ranch?" I
nsked.
"Bent says it vas no more than ten
mile, as der crow fly," Joe answered.
"Bern' as tharc's nivcr a crow amonst
us, an' nivcr a mother's son ave us tuk
to the fly iu' business, there's no tillin'
thcr length ave ther same tin mile."
said Pat.
"That's the wisest speech you ever
made," said Harry.
4 'They may be a good deal longer
miles for us than for Bent," said I,
"for we'll have to make our own
trail."
"I believe Bent's gone back on us,"
said Standish. "If he has, what next?
It's getting late in the season. What's
rain down below may be snow up
here. I wouldn't risk being snowed
up here, if I had all Quincy market
to fall back on. If we don't care to
leave our bones here, we must roll up
our blankets and vamos."
"Let's give Bent one more day,"
said Harry, "If he don't come by this
time to-morrow, then I'll say vamos."
"I'm wid ye," put in Pat.
As there were no dissenting voices
the question was considered settled.
IVhilc this conversation had been go
ing on, Avowerc all drinking coffee
from tin cups, and with blunted
knives, usually carried in our belts,
eating fried ham and saleratus bread,
that Standish had mixed in the pan he
had used many a time before for wash
ing gold.
Evening came but no Bent In the
morning our preparations for depart
ure were quickly made.
"How about the trail?" Harry asked.
"Here's my compass," Standish
answered, drawing a pocket compass
from the folds of his grimy, faded
blouse. "And Browser's as good as an
Indian any day."
So we started; each one of us, if we
had been seen in the streets of any city
Imt San Francisco, would have been
taken for a walking exhibition of pov
erty;4 Our broad brimmed hats were
rusty and weather-beaten; our once
red shirts were many colored; the
PaTf
leather belts, that held our mud-bespattered
troAvsers, were mud-be-spat-tered
too; our thick shoes orlong boots
bore samples from various diggings
Yet eacli man carried his bag of gold
swung on his rifle, over his shoulder,
with his washing pan and his blanket
On Browser's back wc-e spades, pick
axes, sharp crow-bars, hatchets and
what provisions remained.
Standish had a general knowledge
of the country, acquired from books,
when he was considering whether to
give up his surcsalary for the chances
of a fortune, to be made by a lucky
spade's turn or pick's blow. He knew
that the beach on the Pacilic coast Avas
wide, in long stretches, and that, once
reached, we were almost sure of an
unobstructed way to some ranch or In
dian village, where we could lind food
of some kind. He hoped to bring up
at Trinidad; but he underrated the
difficulties of the tramp. The im
mense redwood trees, that towered
against the western sky, could not
have so thriven away from damp
salt air, but the;- were farther off than
they appeared, and between them
were firs, spruce and pines, also a
close undergrowth of magnificent
ferns, standing five or six feet higher
than a tall man's head; of vines, long
berry bushes and wild fruits; in short,
a dense tangle of vegetation. Once in
this jungle, we could make our AvaA'
only with knives and hatchets. We
cut our road, step by step, each lead
ing by turns, Browser bringing up the
rear.
Night came upon us. "We were not
t equal to the labor of clearing a place
ior a nre. so i orougiit from lirow
ser's pack some of the bread I had
5-
slices of pork, laid
THE STAItT. it on tlle bre.ul,
filled their tin cups from the clear
brook that Browser's sagacity had dis
covered, and, Standish not excepted,
ate as sweet a meal as he 'had ever en
joA'cd. Then, regardless of all pre
cautions, each wrapped himself in his
blanket and was soon fast asleep. We
worked on for three days, much of the
time over country which would have
been hard enough had it been cleared
of uinlergrowth; but, thanks to Brow
ser, wo seldom suffered from thirst.
Wo all learned to understand his mute
notice that, in this direction or that,
a cool, bright stream was flowing.
Wc were all, at last, reduced to join
ing with him in his repasts on the
abundant herbage.
Early on the fourth morning we
caught the sound of waves breaking on
the coast. In r.nothcr hour we came
out on the sandy beach. Our boots
and clothing were torn, our faces and
hands scratched and bleeding, and
every muscle quivered with fatigue
and hunger. Which way should wc
turn to find the ranch, the food we so
sorely needed? Standish looked at his
compass; but in the struggle through
the jungle and in going for water we
had veered from our course. Man,
superior, reasoning man, was at a loss;
not so the unreasoning brute. Brow
ser lifted his noc. snuffed the air and
deliberately, steadily walked oil, in
what the compass showed to be the
southerly direction.
Foot sore, Ave slowly limped after
him, over tho broad black sand beach,
almost ready to throw doAvn our light
ened loads, lightened because Ave had
laid upon much enduring Browser all
but rifles and bags of gold. Speech
lessly avc Avcre laboring on, Avhen a
sudden exclamation from Harry made
us look ahead.
"What's that?" he cried. "The col
or as I'm a living man!"
A rod before us the black sand
changed to yelloAv; yellow that glis
tened in the sun light. We rushed for
Avard, almost forgetting our Avcariness
and hungering faintness. We had all
seen natural gold, scores of times be
fore, but Ave could hardly believe this
Avas gold, spread out like an immense
sheet at our feet. Whether Ave be
lieved it or not it Avas so. Tho action
x-
GOLD ENOUGH TO BUY PALACES.
of the Avater had pulverized the mag
netic iron rocks into beach sand. In
the rock, gold and platinum had been
mixed. Thj sand that is washed out
to sea deposits the heavy metaL An
unusually high wind and surf had
";csl
plowed up these deposits, separated
them and ririA-en them in on shore, in
time to meet the astonished gaze of our
starving part-.
Were eA-er men so placed before?
There '.vas gold! Gold enough to buy
palaces, broad acres, luxuries in food
and clothing, pleasures, beyond all
our Av:Idet dreams had ever ap
proached! We stood upon it trampled it,
handled it, tasted it, smelled it! Yes, it
av:is gold! All avc had to do Avas to
stoop and take it! There Avas no one
to struggle with us for it! No one to
snatch it from us, after Ave had grasped
it! It Avas gold! Wealth, the idol be
fore Avhich the Avorld falls prostrate in
abject Avor&hsp! For Avhich man often
sacrifices all, that reason tells him, is
most dear, and having gained it, Avhile
he clutches it. confesses that happiness
has melted away before it!
How it mocked us! a gaunt, travel
soiled, ragged crew! Lying all around
us, in silent command, it called upon
us to take the reward for Avhich avc had
left home, friends, the comforts of
ciA'ilization! How it mocked ;;s! Our
tottering limbs avouUI not support us:
our trembling hands avouUI not obey
our greedy wills and gather the riches
spread before us!
The excitement of this sudden ap
pearance had roused us, only to react
in greater exhaustion and Ave were
driven to the acknoAvledgment that
food must come first, gold afterwards.
"We gathered a feAV handfuls, and
ploded on, planning how to come back
and secure the treasure before others
should find it. This Ave Avere confi
dent avc could do, as that pare of the
beach Avas seldom visited by boats, on
iccount of the difficulty of approach,
and there was little to attract travel
ers on tho lamhvard side. It Avas
near night Avhen the cabin of the ranch
came in sight. The oAvner, a avcII fed
man, stood in the doorway and took a
leisurely survey.
"1 "Ioav you air a snug lot," ho said:
"your critter, I reckon, come in, n 1
'loAA'cd there be some caA'cd in strangers
follerin'."
The ranchman's bluntncss Avas for
gotten when he led us into, the one
room of the cabin and bade us "sit
doAvn and fall to." Our supper of
smoking beef-steak, eggs, hot biscuit
and coffee dispatched, we Avrapped
ourselves in our blankets, and, Avith
the sky for a roof, slept soundly. In
tho morning, having gratefully refused
the invitation to "stay by 'till 3-er
kinder coopered up," after a breakfast
as substantial as the supper, avc started
for San Francisco.
We used our gold dust freely, for our
one thought Avas to keep our secret till
Ave could hurry back and secure the
prize. Lest Ave might attract the no
tice of gold hunters, as eager as our
selves, Ave agreed to separate into two
parties, and deposit our dust in tAvo
banks. Pat, Avho stood quite in awe
of Standish' s business education and
quickness at figures, declared that he
Avould "hoAvld on till what Misthcr
Sthandish agraed."
Joe's imperfect knoAvledgeof the lan
guage induced him to trust Standish al
so. We appointed a place of rendez
vous, aud Standish Avcnt A-ith Hany
to prospect for a Miiall A'essel to take
us oacic 10 me gom ueacii. 1 iook it
upon myself to keep an eye on Pat and
Joe, for I feared that in that Babel,
S.in Francisco, th;y might meet com
patriots, be thrown oft' their guard aud
become confidential.
Standish found that strangers in the
city could not, immediately command
the facilitcs avc needed, aud Avith Har
ry's consent, decided to ask the advice
of a business acquaintance of his book
keeping days. As the assayer had pro
nounced our specimens half pure gold,
Standish's friend promptly proposed
the formation of a company and prom
ised to push its interests. Papers Ave re
dniAvn up, aud the next morning our
party of five young men, eomfortably
clothcd. almost forgetting our recent
privations and exulting in the prospect
of laying hands on Avealth that aAvaited
us, Avcnt aboard a cutter, Avell found iu
all Ave should need.
The captain's sealed orders directed
him to put us ashore wherever Stan
dish should say. We beat up the coast
and lay to off the gold beach. Heavy
breakers and savage rocks. AA'ater Avorn
into every imaginable shape, forbade
our running in close. A boat Avas Ioav
cred and the captain called for A-olun-teers,
from his crew. Three bravo
seamen stepped forward." "My orders
are to land my passengers,' said the
captain. "That sea's no mill pond.
The boat Avon't carry more'n three
landsmen. Who's for the first trip?"
We hastily dreAv lots. Standish and
I Avere left out. I begged Harry to let
me go in his place, but he pressed my
hand and scrambled over the side.
2 Standish and I stood on cither side of
nhe captain, as he Avatched the boat
Avun tue nelp ot ins glass, anil reported
to us. After several attempts to land
had been made, as only good boatmen
could make them, the boat, we sup
posed, struck one of the trcachcious
current", became unmanageable, and
capsized. Had all the gold in the
Avorld been before me, it A-ould have
seemed as " nothing Avhen mv onlv
j brother Avas struggling in that boiling
surf, that Avould in all probability be
his grave. Hoav could I Avrite the tid
ings home? Standish and I held a
short consultation Avith the captain.
"Can't send in another boat," said he;
"I'm shortrhanded enough now.
Trinidad's the nighest landing any
salt Avater sailor'd try to make." He
handed his glass to me and beun to
give orders. I looked, in the forlorn
hope that I might distinguish some
thing of boat, crew or passengers, but
had either been visible at all, it must
have been to a more practiced eye
than mine. I raised the glass to com-
mand the top of a high bluff a little
north of Avhere the boatmen had tried
to land. There, clearly outlined
against the sky, Avas a moving figure.
"Captain! what's that?" I cried.
"Isn't it possible some of those poor
felloAs have got out alive?"
44 Couldn't have climbed that bluff,"
lie ansAA'ered, taking the glass and
SAveeping tho shore "aloAvand aloft.'"
After a moment the g!as3 came to a
rest, then sIoavIv loAvered as if 'some
object Avas being kept iu focus. Hived
years in seconds then.
"Must be a redskin," the captain
muttered. "Can't drown a redskin;
one 'v their eggshells ll live in break
ers that'd staA'e the staunchest boat
that's ever built. Thought I'd made
it right," and he again handed his
glass to me.
I could clearly discern an object, ris
ing and falling on the Avater, and
though taking an irregular course,
gradually Hearing the cutter. Nearer
fciill it came, and Ave thought avc could
see something that looked like a man,
half lying, half sitting, in the canoe
that Avas paddled by one Indian.
44 Canoe ahoy!" shouted the cap
tain. "What's aboard?"
The Indian made no answer, but
paddled slowly on.
"Stand by for a rope," the captain
shouted.
A rope, shot out oA-er our heads, was
dexterously caught by the Indian, and
the canoe avus drawn through the com
paratively smooth Avnter. One of tho
sailors lowered a boat-hook till it al
most touched the bottom of the little
craft With the help of the hook and
of strong hands my brother Harry half
climbed, Avas half lifted, on to the cut
ter's deck.
Of the six men Avho A-cnt in the
boat, he Avas the only one aved, and
he had been drawn out of tho surf,
Avhen he Avas past helping himself, by
the friendly Indian.
Taking the Indian on board and his
canoe in tow, avc sailed for Trinidad.
In the morning, Standish and I, Avith
the Indian, started for the gold beach,
carrying tools for gathering acid bags
for holding the gold. We reached the
beach. It Avas the place avc had &een
a few days before glittering Avith tho
precious metal. We could not be mis
taken; exhausted as Ave Avere, avc had
carefully taken our bearings. But
there Avas nothing there but sand!
Black sand!
"What fools aa'o have been," said
Standish. "The very same force that
brought the gold in has carried it out
again, and left only the sand, such as
aa'c might Avalk on for miles."
Our feet made heaA-y by disappoint
ment, Ave dragged ourselves back to tho
cutter. Standish gaA-e the Avord. and
avc Avere soon headed for San Fran
cisco. I shall never forget the evening avI-en
Standish, Harry and I sat on deck in
the stern of the cutter, and talked o'er
our adventures since avc started on the
gold hunt.
"Hob," said Harry, at last, "I'm off
for home! You will do as you please,
of course, but I tell you, Avhen a felloAV
has looked death in the face, life is a (
new thing for him. It seems as if my '
life had been taken from me nudgiA'en I
back. It's a mean use to make of life '
to spend it getting money for money's t
sake only!"
"I'm not going to giA'e up so," said
Standish. "There's gold in these sands.
oui in inesc sands,
There mut be '
ne of it. and" who I
that's plain enough
some Avay to get some
knows but I may be lucky enough to
see it Avashed up again?"
As Harry and 1 Avere determined to
take the next steamer for the isthmus,
Ave turned over our interest in the
company to Standish. The beaches
have since been Avorked Avith fyir suc
cess. But I believe no such ;ight has
eA'er again appeared to any part- of
miners as that glittering beach Afhoso
golden sands our destitution forbnde
out gathering; those "treasures" no
eA'en "hiddun in the sands" but which
our Avaitfs compelled us to Icha-c to be
borne out into the ocean Avaste.
Susan- D. Nickeksox.
Mr. Moneybags (aviio has reccntlv
acquired a fortune) "It's a shame and
a disgrace the Avay every body con
spires to rob a richman." Friend
"What's the matter noAV?" Moneybag
"Well, you see I had a little party
at my mansion last night, and to
amuse my guests I ordered some mu
sicone quartette; and darn my but
tons if four singers didn't crowd into
the room and sing, and I had to pay
all four of them, and mind you, I only
ordered one solitarv quartette. That's
the Avay I'm SAvindled every day of
my life, aud I am tired of it." X. Y.
Ledger.
Tho meanest man in Boston has
been reported. He calls himself a
practical joker, and it is said that, haA'
ing noticed that on a certain day of
the Avcek a pudding Avas placed on the
ledge of a AA'indow to cool, he bought
a bean bloAVcr and a box of mandrake
pills, and Avhen the pudding next ap
peared he bleAv it full of pills. It is
also said that puddings are no longer
exposed on that back AA'indow.
m m
A Scranton, Pa., man has a cat
which purrs approvingly whenever he
plays the piano, or organ, or guitar.
Bnt she draws the line at the violin.
When her master passes the bow ovei
the entrails of one of her departed
friends she grows savage, as he thinks,
at the indignity offered her species
in the construction of that instru
ment '
A little bag of mustard laid on thr
op of the pickle jar will prevent the
vinegar from becoming moldy, if the
pickles have been put up in Tin eg w
that has not been boiled,
USES FOR BIRCH BARK.
Some or the Really Ciiarralnrr hlnjp
ThAt Ladle Can 3Iake from It
There are so many pretty things can
be made from birch bark that it is
strange it is not more popular for dec
oration. The gray birch bark is some
times used, bnt it is not as nice in any
Avay as tho Avhitc. Most people who
have spent any time in the country
knoAv Iioav to remove the bark from
the tree, but for those Avho do not
know it is a very easy thing to do if
the directions are followed. Select a
half-groAvn tree, as from too young a
tree the bark does not peel as easily,
and the layers arc hard to divide, and
too old a tree is usually so knotty that
it is almost impossible to set a smooth
piece of any size, for the bark will tear
in being removed from the tree Avhere
there arc knots. After selecting your
tree, with a sharp pen-knife make a
perpendicular slit, any length j'ou
wish, taking care there are no knots in
the piece you Avish to remove, loosen
ing one side at top and bottom, and if
a large piece it is avcII to loosen a little
along the entire length, as very largo
pieces are liable to p'it in the center
if not loosened. Take a firm hold of
top and bottom, and Avith very little
exertion on your part the piece can be
remoA-ed, leaving a broad, bare circle
around the trunk or limb of - the tree.
The Avork of dividing the layers should
be done as soon after removal from the
tree as coiiA'onient, as the longer it is
let remain Avithout being separated
the harder it Avill be to accomplish, and
the layers Avail not be as smooth and nice
as if separated earlier. These layers
are of very pretty shades, being pure
Avhite, cream-yellow, and some deli
cate shades of pink, and make very
nice ornamental and useful articles cf
decoration.
Many people Avhile aAvay for the sea
son are fond of using smooth sheets of
bark for note paper, sending them to
their friends as souvenirs of their sum
mer in the country. Envelopes are al
so made of it, using paper ones for
patterns, and are very unique. A
pretty Avhisk-broom holder is made bj'
cutting out of card-board tAvo pieces
the shape of the broom, cover Avith
smooth pieces of bark, and on one
side in each corner paste a group oi
tiny ferns and in the center a bunch
of pressed autumn leaves and ferns,
scav or glue together, and bind Avith
some bright shade of ribbon. At each
upper corner place a boAVof the ribbon.
Scav a small brass ring to the center ol
the back piece next the Avail, and sus
pend the holder by a loop of ribbon, Avith
pretty bow drooping over tho nail from
which it hangs. Line Avith any ma
terial you like. A spool box is made
by cutting a circle of card-board about
the size of the bottom of a collar box,
glue around this a perpendicular rim
about two inches deep, coA'cr Avith
bark, around the loAver part of rim,
Avhere it joins the bottom, tic a band
of narrow ribbon; line with pretty silk
and scav around the top a niching of
ribbon. Ornament Avith ferns or
autumn leaves.
Birch bark pictures are A-ery pretty
for homo decoration. Take a nice
smooth sheet of bark any size desired,
and fasten firmly Avith mucilage to a
piece of thin cardboard; decorate Avith
tho brush or arrange pressed autumn
leaves and ferns upon it in any Avay
desired. Pretty frames for pictures of
this kind arc made bA' cutting from
:; , , - -"""
t,nn' lmP,a,,et- boards pieces
d03"1' :;nd uo toScthcr.
the size
At each
corner, or, it the iranios are large, at
equal distances apart, arrange groups
of tiny acorns in their cups and glue
(firmly to the frames, and gild tho
Avliole. The unplaned Avood Avhen
lilded giA'es the appearance of rough
gilt. Cornucopias are nice made of
bark bound Avith ribbon decorated
Avith autumn leaA'es and ferns and filled
Avith dried grasses. Place at the points
pretty bows of ribbon, to the ends of
Avhich attach tiny gilded acorns in
their cups. Another pictty receptacle
for dried grasses is a round box any
depth aud width desired. coA'cred with
bark, ornamented in front a little
aboA-c half Aay Avith a bunch of pine
or hemlock burrs glued on firmly, var
ished or bronzed, or both. At the bot
tom of the bunch is fastened a broad
satin ribbon. The Avidth of the ribbon
depends upon the size of the box. A
pretty ornament for the front of this
box instead of the burrs is a small
bunch of dried grasses tied Avith a bow
of ribbon. The burrs at the ends of
the ribbon may be fastened by small
brass-headed tacks. These are only a
feAV of the things for which birch bark
can be used, and as it serves the purpose
of perforated carboard, the making of
one article Avill suggest the making of
another. Boston Budget.
Once AA'hen Ignatius Donnelly was
delivering a political speech in Minne
sota some one hurled a head of cab
bage at him. He paused a second and
said: "'Gentlemen, I only asked for
your ears; I don't care for your heads!"
He Avas not bothered any more during
the remainder of his speech.
Delicate Pie. Whites two eggs,
four tablespoons cream, one largo
spoonful flour, one cup white sugar,
one cup cold Avater: flavor Avith lemon.
Line a pie plate Avith pastry, pour in
the mixture and bake at once. Ex
change. At the Zoo. Aunt Sybil (well
versed in zoology) "Delas' animal we
seen, Lillie. was de sacred cow. mow,
dis is de hippomapotamus cow an',
my sakes alive, ain't she plain!" Puck.
He met her in the hotel hallway.
It is not strange that for a moment she
did not know which way to turn when
ho said: "Now if jrou'U co-imcide we'll
go outaide."
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.
Miss Gabriclle Greeley, the only
surviving child of the late Horace
Greeley, lives on her father's Chappa--qua
farm Avith tAvo lady friends.
The new volume of the "Story of:
the Nations" series will be "Hungary, "
by Prof. Vambery. It is the first his
tory of that country Avritten in English. .
Bar Harbor boasts of a $75,000
washerwoman. Her house, Avhich she
OAvns, is Avorth that much; but she re
fuses to sell it, and continues to- senib
aud starch as of yore.
The toAvn of Augusti. Me.. Avftli a
population of only 8.000 souls, is the
headquarters of 19 monthly maga
zines, Avhich have a comlined circula
tion of 1,100,000 coiics. Three of
these have a circulation of -150,000. i
of 800,000. and 12 of 3."0,000. Six of
them are devoted to agriculture ami
the remainder are literary.
Dr. Ernest T. Hofmann. of New
York, has a dog that is almost the
equal of a human servant. Her name
is Victoria, but 4,Yic'' is Avhat she
thinks it is. She gets her master's hat,.
gloA'es, Avhip, her oavh muzzle, or Avhat
eA-er else he calls for. and Avhen she is
out shooting Avith the doctor he talks,
to her exactly as ho Avould to a man,,
and she understands and obeys him.
perfectly.
--The faA'orito authors in an Engli-sls
young. men's institute arc Riukin.
and Kingsley. Buskin does not like
the association and Avrites of the
author of "Ilvpatia": "There A-a much
in Kingsley that Avas delightful to raw
thinkers and men generally remain
i'iiav in this climate. Ho Avas
ailaAved, partly rotten, partly distorted
person, but may be read Avith advant
age by numbers avIio could not under
stand a Avoid of me."
One of General Grant's l:et an
SAvers to any question Avas his reply tc
William M. Evarts, Avho, in speaking
about Mr. Beecher, asked: "Why is it,
General, that a little fault in a clergy
man attracts more notice than a gieat
fault in an ordinary man?' "Per
haps," said the General, thoughtfully.
,4it is for the same reason that a slight
shadoAv passing -over the pure snow is
more readily seen than a ri'er of dirt
on tho black earth."
Miss Sophia Tricoupis, sister of thc
Prime Minister of Greece, is one of the
leaders of Athenian society. She is :.
slender, fragile-looking old lady, Avho
liA'es surrounded Avith UoAvers. Her
brother's friend", knowing her fond
ness for them, send her dozens of bou
quets CA-ery day. She never "goes
any Avhere," but receiA'es from tern
o'clock in the morning until midnight..
In Athens she is a power. As a cor
respondent she is indefatigable, Avrit
ing dozens of letters in as many differ
ent languages everv daA
HUMOROUS.
Son (.aIio Ioa'cs traA-el) "O. for ai
trip 'round thcAvord!" Father (who.
Ioa'cs lucre) "Owe for nothing, my
boy."
The average Texas chews h's
Aveight in tobact-o every four years, and1
i is need ess to add that most of it is
borroAvcd. Detroit Free Press.
Smith "I hear Mr-. B. has re
fill ned from the country." BroAvn
" Yes, 4 the melancholy days are
come, the saddest of the year.' " Bos
ton Budget.
"Do y u tumble!" aked Amy. aft
er exp aining something to the High
School girl. "No, my dca ." replied
Mildred, severely, "I do not tumble,,
but I precipi ate myself in that direc
tion." Pitlsbiirah Chronicle.
They Avereo-it sailing when a squalL
came up, and she exclaimed: "O, it's all
o'er Avith us." "1 hope no, darling,"
he said, and then as the calm came oit
he con iiried, "but it surely is all oar
Avith us no v."
A young man in college Avrote as
follows to iiis father: "My dear father,.
1 Ima'c only time being greatly rushed
Avith my studies to send my love and
tell you that I Avish you Avouhl send
me fifty dollars." The father repliedr
"My dear sou I haA-o only time being
greatly rushed Avith my hay to send
loA-e and tell you that I have not sent
you fifty dollars." Arhansuw Trav
eler. "KittA-ran into Mary Ann, and?
lost a sheet, besides smashing things'
generally. Mary Ann's neAV sunt avus.
ripped in a dozen places, and Kitty lay
helpless in the roadAvay. It Avas alK
due to bad management on the part of
Kitty's master." The above sounds as
shocking as a police court item, but it
is in reality only a report of a collision
during a yacht race, Avritten in the En
glish style, Avith the v-ord "the" omit
ted from each vessel' & name. Harper's
Bazar.
Things Mutantur.
In boyhood's bright and sunny days,
When all my paths were pleasant vavs
How blessed the day, with wealth sablimci
When father gave me a great big dims
But now, with wants that yearly grow,
"When in my pockets depths I go
How pinched and beggared is the time
When I can only And a dime.
Burdelle.
"What sort of a watch is this?"
asked a gentleman, picking up a curi
ous old time-piece in the shop of a deal
er 01 cunosities. "That." replied thes
dealer, "is a real curiositv. It is a.
watch that belonged to Alexander the
Great when he died on the barren
Island of St. Helena." "The deuce it
is! Why, man alive, in the days ot
Alexander the Great there Avas no such
things as watches!" "That's just what
makes it such a rarity." 44And Alex
ander the Great didn't die at St
Helena." "He djdn't, eh? W-U, tla
makes it a still greater curiosity!" Aiut
taking up the rare relic, the dealer
locked it up in hie burglar-proof safe.
N. 1. Ltdgmr.
K
X)
(
5
.i,,j A
.v4 v-g--J
cj?T.

xml | txt