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Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, May 10, 1866, Image 3

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn85033019/1866-05-10/ed-1/seq-3/

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IRiSfrilang.
A LITTLE GOOSE.
The chill November day done,
The working world home-firing
The wind came r string through the_*tr*W*
And “etjliegas lightgjl'rlng;
Arid e-oiy end aimlessly
Th-g.i r—l old leive< were firing.
When, minted with the h ’OZbUU w.aJ.;
f beard a ema.l mice crying.
And bierinzon the corner stool
A child of ilirwororrr
Nocloak n-r hat her email s-ft arm*
And wind-b'own curli tocher;
jt f, - jjmplcd face was strained with tears,
Her round blue eyes ran over;
gcheri-hed ia her wee, cold hand ‘
A bunch of faded clov.-r.
And one band round her treasure, whila
Pb* slipped in mine the other,
II f scar. I, ha f confidential, Slid,
“ Oh, piea-e. I want my mother ”
* Tell ruoyonr street arid n urn her, pet;
Don't cry. I'll take yon to it ”
fiobolng, she answered, " I forget:
The organ made ma <lj it.
“ Tie came and pi .yed at Miller’s step,
The monkey t < k the money;
If i lowed down t e str-et because
The monkey was so funny;
I’ve walked about a hundred hours.
From one street to another;
The monkey *h gone; Ives- oi’ed my dower*—
U, please, 1 want my w iher.”
“ Ret wtial’a sour mother’s name, and what
Tr.e Mrr-e* ? N.w think a rniiinte.’’
* My inother’e name is mother dear,
The is rest. 1 can’t beain it.”
“ JJut what is si range ahour the hoas*,
‘i r new. not like t eotiiers?”
“ I oie.* y.ui mean niv trundle bed—
Mine£ ami my ii tie brother s.”
The gky grew stormv, people passed,
All mud-d homeward hiring;
“ Von':l have to spend >he cigist with me,”
I ■ id at ia.t despairing.
I t el a ’kerchief round her nck
, “ tiii.it riUinnV this, my blossom?”
•* Why. u m’t you kt. w?” she, smiling, said.
And dreW it from hr ■ bosom.
A card, wi.h nurah*-, etreet and name;
Mr ejes. astonished met it;
“i <r,” 8i)- the little on-, “ y.mseo,
1 might sometimes forget it;
And so I wear ii tie tiling
Thai tails you ail about it,
JTur motlie. ;:ay she’s very stir*
2 would get lost without it.”
Tiac Barrister’* Wijf.
“ Ths wisd )rn is ia the wig” is a very
common proverb, and, like most of the com
mon proverbs, doubtless contains a consid
erable amount of truth. To prove this, the
reader has only to attend one of our law
courts for a day or two, and he will then
Lear opinions carrying great weight with
them, which, if uttered out of court, and by
an individual in a private dress, would be
thought very common-place indeed. But
not otiiy is there a great amount, of wisdom
in the wig, but a great amount of wit and
humor as well; or, how should we read in
the newspapers of the mirth elicited at our
trials by the very dull jokes occasionally
uttered by the members of the bar? We
read in the Reports, of a barrister who said
“He would rather not answer that question”
(a laugh). Another will say, “No, I thank
you” (great laughter). “Thank you, I
am not to be caught in that way” (here
the court was convulsed with laughter for
some minutes, in which the learned judge
joined heartily). Now out of court, all j
these saying seems powerless enough, but
in court their humor appears to be irresist
ible.
Although it has long been a favorite idea
with me, that there it occasionally more wit
and humor in the wig than in the individu
al wearing it, it is only lately that I have
been convinced of the fact. Possibly I may
be accused, and with justice, or' putting a
little acrimony in the statement of my opin
ion for I was lately in the witness-box for
more than an hour, the butt of a banister
wnli a witty wig.
P-am a surgeon in considerable practice
in a large country town, and was suhpoc
naed to give evidence in an assault case, ia
which the plaintiff was my patient for some
time, in consequence of the injuries he had
received. As the plaintiff, and old farmer
was half drunk at the time of the assault
(he had been dining with some other fir
mer.! of his acquaintance after the market
was over), it was, naturally, the policy of
the counsel for the defence to prove that he
was thoroughly intoxicated, and that the
injuries be had received arose from bis own
helpless condition. Of course, if he could
break down the medical evidence it would
mitigate his client’s cause greatly, if no.
completely exonerate him from blame.
I attended at the court on the appointed
day, and was sworn. I mounted the wit
ness-box with a feeling somewhat akin to
awe at the solemnity of the oath I had
taken, and with a resoluiion conscientiously
to speak the strict truth in all things.
My evidence in favor of the prosecution
went off smoothly enough, and, to tell the
honest truth I lelt somewhat proud of it.
Thou the cross-examination began. Here
a great change took place. The counsel for
the defence had the reputation of being a
wag, and 1 soon found my position change
from that of a grave scientific witness into
the Jack Pudding of the court. The ainoun*
of mirth the counsel contrived to elicit
from my evidence was astonishing; yet, for
the life of me, 1 could see no subject lor
jesting whatever. lie inquired in what
manner I made the distinction between hav
ing iliunk a little too much and being urunk;
what amount of beer, or wine, or spirit I
Considered would have the effect of knock
ing a man down, and many other questions
Of the same description. Seeing everybody
laughing, I began to think possibly I oid
not give my answers carefully enough ; the
effect of the oath I had taken being still
Strong within mo. I therefore gave my
replies more circumstantially, as 1 imagin
ed ; but the questions increased in facetious
ness in consequence, and my answers caus
ed more mirth than before I then thought
that perhaps, in my serious mood, I did not
appreciate sufficiently the wit of the learn
ed gentleman, and I paid great attention to
his words in order to find out in what, their
humor cinsisted. But in vain. His ques
tions appeared to me to be simply what tu
vulgar parlance is called chaffing, and noth
ing more. By degrees I got so much con
fused that I made a very simpleton of my
aclf. and contradicted my own statements
at least a dozen times over At las , when
he had contrived to make me neutralize
Completely the truthful evidence I had giv
en ia my examination in chief, he allowed
me to leave the box ; and 1 did so under
the unpleasing impression that I had made
A great fool of myself.
1 lett the court immediately, and the trial
went on without me. But in the evening, 1
had the unpleasant intelligence that my
patient had lost his case, principally owing
to the uncomplimentary remarks made bi
ihe judge on my evidence, in his summing
op.
But the annoyance did not stop here.
The next day, not only the local papers,
b- t the t-ondon journals as well, had a full
account of the trial, in which I figured ia
by no means a flattering manner; There
was the usual parenthetical remarks, —(The
cross-examination of (be witness elicited
great mirth in the court); (Tue judge oould
with difficulty maintain his gravity) ;
(Great !au fc Ver, which the toners had much
difficulty in repressing); and many o.her ex
pressions of (he same kind. At first I was
naturally greatly annoyed at this, but in a
few days the feeiiug wore off; still, it fre
quently returned to n y mind, and on more
than one occasion 1 attempted to analyze
the cause of so much mirth arising fretn so
serious & subject, and wiih so little real wit
on the part of the barrister. At last a
vague suspicion arose in my mind that it
was due in great measure lo the wig; but
how to prove my conclusion puzzled me ex
tremely. When I least expected it. how
ever, chance threw an opportunity in my
way.
One morning, on tearing my house, tny
tf.enuoa was arrested by a long procession
I on horseback coming up the street, dressed
in a most motley manner. They were the
oimp.any of an equestrian circus which had
arrived that morning in town. Their ad
vent bad been advertised some- days before,
..ad, as usual, the first great feature of th ir
performance was their parade through the
streets. The sight was certainly a very
brii iant affiair; the circus was one of cele
brity. the troupe was numerous, the dresses
rna mficeat. and they appeared to make a
great impression un the beholders. But
one thing struck me as abnormal, —there was
no clown. To leave the clown out of a cir
cus troupe is to take the whole romance
out of tne thing. All its intellect i t des
troyed, and noihing but a body of mere
mechanism remains.
I was aroused from my speculations by a
little slipshod girl pulling my coat, and tel
ling me that my services were immediately
required at the “Coach and Horses,” where
a lady was in want of my assistance. 1
should here mention that the “ Coach and
Horses” is a large second-rate inn, much
patronized by the small farmers and their
servants on market days. Having no very
urgent case on hand, I immediately went
with my little guide to see my new patient.
When we arrived at the inn we found the
whole place in a state of great bustle and
confusion. The circus troupe had taken up
their quarters in it, and the place was
strewed with boxes, traveling apparatus,
children (and of whom there was a swarm)
and old men and women ; for circus people
have generally a great love for the young of
their profession, and a great respect for the
old.
The only able-bodied person I met in the
court-yard was a man about thirty years of
age, a quiet, decent, active-looking fellow
enough.
“ O, I am so glad you are come, sir,” said
he, “ my wife is so ill, L am quite frightened
about her ; come this way, if you please.”
I followed him up a broken staircase into
a sort of garret, where I found my patient.
She was a meek little woman, at .that moment
or- the point ot becoming a mother.
The ease was a difficult one, but at last all
ended successfully, and I qalled the husband
and told him the good news. He appeared
gready delighted, and I left him in charge
of his wife and baby, promising to call
again in a couple of hours to see how the
young mother was getting on.
It was about three o’clock before I again
visited my patient. I found she was going
j on well, and I tod her husband my opinion,
j “1 am very glad to hear it, sir. Do you
! think I might, leave her for an hour in
I charge of that little girl ? I ought to go to
rehearsal, or I shall be fined {if I am not
there.”
“Oyes; there is no danger whatever;
to-night I will send you a proper nurse, if
you want one.”
“No, thank you, sir, there is no occasion
for that; our women are very kind to each
other.”
He now put cn bis hat, and we left the
house togetaer.
“I did not know you were one of the cir
cus performers,” I said, as we continued on
our way.
“lam the clown, sir,” he said, “ and I
suspect they would hardly get on without
mo. lam sure lam glad affairs have gono
on so well. I never can do anything if I
feel at all low-spirited.”
“ Did I understand that you are now going
to rehearsal!”
‘ Yes, sir ; but I shall soon be back; I
have not much to say ”
As he spoke we came in sight of the cir
cus, which had arisen the night before as if
by magic. It, was very large, and had the
flags of all nations indiscriminately hoisted
around it. I asked my companion if I might
see the interior.
“Certainly, sir, if you wish it. Come
with me, aud there will be no difficulty.”
We entered the circus.
A responsible-looking man, with a whip in
his hand, was standing in the centre of the
circle, and a young lady in a practising
dress was seated on a bare-backed horse by
his side.
“Just in time, Tommy,” said the man
with the whip, “just in time ; if you had
been a minute later, you would have been
fined sure as a gun.”
Tommy made no answer, but walked up
to the young lady’s side, and, looking for a
moment into her face, said:
“ Piease, sir, she knows me; she looked
at me.”
The master then smacked his whip, and
the horse started off at a hand gallop, be
following her, while Tommy, tho clown,
walked in the ring-master's wake, his hands
in his pockets, and wearing at. the same time
a very thoughtful expression. Each time
i he horse stopped, Tommy uttered some ab
surdity too stupid to bo worth naming. I
remained in the circus for half an hour, and
then left, it, wondering greatly how the mis
erable platitudes 1 heard rny friend Tommy
utter could by any possibility raise a laugh
ia the evening. Probably, I thought, the
dress might have something to do with it,
and most of all the wig. Yes, the wig of
the circus clown is as peculiar in its consti
nation as that of a barrister, and the clown’s
wit was doubtless ia his wig. However, as
it was merely a surmise on my part, I re
solved to attend the performance in the eve
ning and judge for myself.
In the. evening, after seeing my patient
was going on well, I went to the circus to
witness the performance. The whole place
certainly presented a different aspect from
that I had seen in tho morning. It was
brilliantly lighted and tastefully decorated,
and was well filled with spectators; a cir
cumstance whicß added much to the lively
impression the sight made on me. The per
formance shortly after commenced, and at
last Tommy, the clown, mace bis appear
ance. Tue scene was that with
lady which I had seen in the morning Rut
how different was the result of his jokes !
lu the morning those which appeared flat
and insipid were now pungent and spark
ling. When in the morning ho told tho
ring-master “that, the young lady knew him,
for she looked at him,” nothing could be
more melancholy. In the opening the same
remark caused a violent fit of laughter.
I now examined the clown’s wig. It was
absurd, exceedingly absurd, but not more
so than the barrister's. No human head of
hair 1 had ever seen resembled the clown’s,
but neither did I ever see one that resembled
the wig of a barrister. I now fully came
to the conclusion that I had not made a tool
of myself at the trial, but that the laughter
and merriment which had been so uproarious
in court was caused by the barrister’s wig.
and not by the stupidity and vacillation of
my answers.
That night I slept little, go much was my
. mind occupied with the wig question. At
' last I remembered that the principal hair
| dresser in town had a magnificent barrister’s
wig in his shop window, which he regularly
drocs.'d with great care the week before the
i ascites were to be held. He had formerly
been assistant to a hairdresser in the Tem
pi e, and on removing from London, he had
brought with him the legal tastes he had
acquired during his residence there. TAs
i mua was my constant patient, and a very
i good understanding existed between us. It
occurred to me teat I had an excellent op
portunity of experimenting as to what was
really the humorous power in tho barrister's
wig. It I could gel him to lead me the wig
for a night or two, which I felt assured ha
would readily do, an I if I could persuade
my friend Tommy, the clown,,{hi, name in
the b’-lls was Signor Ludovico Selvacciol to
perform in it for a coupie of nights, I could
airive at a tolerably certain conclusion on
the matter. I resolved at any rate to try
my influence on my two friends ; and after
having duly prepared my plan of acaon, I
succeeded in going to sleep
The next day, after seeing my gratis pa
| licnts, 1 walked to the house of my friend
i tho hairdresser. I found him at home,
somewhat dyspeptic as usual., I inquired,
with great patience and tenderness alter
his malady, and promised to send him some
medicine. I then made some inquiries after
his wife, who suffered from the disease even
more than her husband. Fortunately they
had no children, or my stay might have
been prolonged considerably, for there was
a great tendency to prolixity in the worthy
couple when speaking of their maladies
All was at last terminated, and, with some
little fear and trepidation, I broached the
subject of the barrister's wig. i exper
ienced far greater difficulty than I had anti
cipated. At first he was willing enough to
lend me the wig; but when he understood
it was to adorn the head of a circus clown,
he immediately withdrew his promise. He
told me he had a great respect for the whole
legal profession, and enumerated different
eminent 'awyers whose wigs he had dressed
when he resided ,'n London; and on no ac
count, even to oblige me, would he do any
thing to bring that, profession into ridicule.
1 was almost in despair, but still did not
give up all hope; so I changed the subject
into a lecture on dyspepsia, and the tre
mendous evils attendant ca that malady if
it were not carefully and scientifically
treated. 1 found, as 1 went on, the faces of
both husband andjvife lengthen, and I took
good care nrt to let the impression of fear
under whicu they were evidently laboring
in any way lessen. Having raised a con
siderable amount of terror in the m;nds of
the worthy couple, I somewhat abruptly
left them. I, however, went no farther
than the next house, a stationer's, and I
there occupied myself in looking with great
intentness on some colored prints in the
shop windows.
Presently, as I had fully expected, the
hairdresser's wife came to me, and told me
her husband wished to speak to me. I im
mediately returned; and he then said he
had reconsidered the matter, and was per
fectly ready to lend me the wig. “ I will,”
be continued, “ merely put a finishing touch
to it, and you will find it at your house
when you return.” 1 sincerely thanked
him for his kindness, and instantly pro
ceeded to seek my friend clown.
I found my patient progressing favorably,
as well as her baby; Tommy himself was
in the room when I arrived. He had the
infant in his arms, and - was gazing at it
with great satisfaction and pride in his
countenance. Seeing he was in a favorable
state of mind to listen to my application, I
immediately opened the subject. 1 told
him I had a great favor to ask, and I trusted
he would not be offended. I wanted to try
an experiment that evening with his assist
ance, and he would greatly oblige me by
wearing for the occasion a barrister s wig
instead of his own. He appeared greatly
astonished at my request, and I feared he
would refuse me; but I was most agreeably
disappointed.
*• Offended, sir,” he replied; “ not at all.
I will do it with pleasure. Why. the idea
is sublime! How wonderful it is,” he con
tinued, “that so simple a dodge should
never have been thought of before ! ” Then
again his expression fell almost to sadness.
*• What a pity it is,” said he, “ I Lave not a
wig of the kind, nor is ttxere one in the
whole of our properties.”
I told him that 1 had a magnificent one at
home, which was perfectly at his service
He expressed himself most gratified for my
kindness, and it was arranged he should
call at. my house for the wig on his road to
the circus.
The evening came, and I left the bouse to
attend the performance. On my way I met
the Rev. Mr. Jones, a lately arrived curate.
He was a tall, thin man, of most austere
principles, despi-ing all worldly amuse
ments, and preaching against them on all
possible oecassions; yet, withal, he was
most conscientious, charitable, and pious.
When I saw him I tried to avoid him, for to
say the truth I was somewhat ashamed at
his knowing I was going to pass the evening
at the circus. He recognized me, however,
and crossed over the road to speak to me.
“ You will be surprised,” said he, after
our first inquiries as to each other’s health
were over, “to hear that I am goin-j to
spend the evening at the circus.”
“I am delighted to hear it,” I replied,
“ for I shall have a companion then; I am
going there myself.”
“ Rut I fear,’’ said he, “we are not both
bound on the same errand. My purpose is
to addiess the audience between the acts, as
1 believe they call them, on the sin of wast
ing their time op follies of the kind.”
“ I trust, Jones, you will do nothing of
the sort. You will make yourself greatly
disliked if you do; and that would be a pity,
as you are really a very good fellow.”
“ Indeed,” said he, “1 shall keep to toy
determination. I believe L have a duty to
perform, and I will go through with it.”
.1 was much annoyed when he told me so,
for I really liked him ; but, finding he was
determined. I said nothing more on the sub
ject, resolving to sit beside him during the
performance, and to restrain him as ranch
as I could
We arrived at the paying place, and took
our seats exactly opposite the performer’s
entrance. In a short time the place was
completely filled, and the performance com
menced. During the first two acts of horse
manship no clown appeared: but in the
third, “The Flower girl,” Tommy entered
the ring. He announced himself by calling
out, in the clown’s hoarse voice, “ Here we
are ; how are you? ” The effect of the wig
was wonderful. For in a moment all were
silent, and then the laughter began: and
such laughter! I never before witnessed
anything like it.
When it had somewhat subsided, Tommy
advanced to the master of the ring, who
was so splendidly dressed that it almost
dazzled me to look at him, and said, “ How
is your mother? ” The laughter again rose
as loudly as before, and was even longer in
subsiding.
Never did Tommy achiere a greater suc
cess than on that evening. Everything he
said told, no matter how stupid it might be.
vvhen the Wild Huntsman of the , Wood
staned off. Tommy requested him tb give
his love to the cook, and the mir:h was so
boisterous it was some time before the wild
huntsman could hear the music.
A police s an, with a remarkably stolid
countenance, was standing at tbe door.
Tommy advanced towards him, and shaking
him by the band, inquired affectionately
after tue health of his inspector. The po
liceman was instantly so overcome with
laughter, that be was obliged to seat him
self on a bench to recover himself. Mirth
that evening was perfectly contagious; and
even my reverend friend, on more than one
occasion, struggled hard to conceal a smile.
But be did not succeed in the attempt.
The programme of the first act bad cow
been gone through, and tbe pe. formers werd
on the point of ioaving the circus, when
i'omaiy addressed the master of the ring.
“If you please, sir, may I sing a soagl”
“ I did not know you Could sing, Mr.
Merriman.”
‘*o yes, sir, I can ; I used to sing at the
great ‘uproar house’ iu London.”
_ “ 1 am alraid that is a mistake, Mr. Mer
riman.”
“ No,sir, it is not; T cnee gotten guineas
for singing a song there.” .
‘•\ou must excuse me, Mr. Merriman,
but that I’m sure is an error.”
“ No, sir, it is not; and I can prove it in
a moment.
“ Pray do.”
“ Well, then, sir, I was to have five guin
ea? for singing the song, and when I nad
half done they offered me five more to
leave off. I can sing it now if you like.”
“ 1 have no objection, if the audience has
none.”
Tommy immediately turned round to the
orchestra.
Of course the orchestra sounded an im
mense discord, and Tommy placed himself
in an attitude for singing.
“ There waa once a little maid
Who lived by her trail-.
Whom Her lover wanted to whc-e-dle;
When from |>reti,V li-tie M'sS
lie tried to get a kiss.
Sue scratched his uose with a ne-e-die.
“Then this little maid.
She was very much afraid
Th 4 her lover would come too-o her,
So she got into hed.
Put her nightcap on her head,
And fastened up thedoor with a eke-e-wer.”
No laughter that bad occurred during the
of the whole evening was equal to that
elicited by the song, and Tommy made his
exit amidst a shower of applause.
Nt) sooner had the mirth somewhat sub
sided, when to my intense horror, my friend
and neighbor, Rev. Mr Jones, rose from
his seat, and, in spite of all my entreaties
to the contrary, began to address the audi
ence.
“My dear friends,” he said, “pray
listen for a few moments to me, for, believe
me, I am solely actuated by a desire for
y >ur good. Do not think that I want to
restrain any innocent amusemenf.; but let
me ask you if a a scene like this is a proper
one for beings with immortal souls *
Would not the attention you are here giving
to irrational exercises and gross absurdities
be far better employed in reflecting on the
wickedness of your past lives, and making
preparation for the great change which
must some day overtake us all? with which
the strongest cannot wrestle, nor the fleet
est avail. Death may approach us at any
hour, noiselessly and without notice. He
may choose for his victims the young or the
old, the rich or the poor. This very night
lie may call some of these present away,
and what is the preparation which has
been made to receive him? When I look
around me—”
Here he stopped short, and the muscles
of his face underwent a series of extraor
dinary spasmodic contortions, while his
eyes were intently fixed on the performers’
entrance. 1 looked toward it and saw the
head of Tommy, still arrayed in the barris
ter’s wig. gazing from between the green
baize curtans, as if he were looking out of
bed, straight at the face of my reverend
friend. Poor Jones tried to continue, but
it was impossible; and at last, in
spite of all his efforts to restrain
himself, he burst into a hearty laugh.
Then taking up his hat hurridly, he
left the circus, the eyes of the audience at
the time being fixed on the clown.
The circus remained two days longer in
the town, and on each performance Tommy
wore his new wig, which was a perfect suc
cess.
1 would now earnestly press on all circus
managers my advice to adopt Tommy’s ex
periment. It would not only be sure to
succeed, and put money in their pockets,
but very probably in the end they would
assist in banishing from the British courts
of justice that ridiculous piece of tomfool
ery,—the barrister’s wig.
The Great i’ire at Detroit.
From tlia Detroit Post, April 27.
Last evening at about 10 o’clock, while an
employee of the Detroit and Milwaukee
Railroad Company was rolling a barrel of
kerosene oil from the company’s buildings
at the foot of Bru°h street, in this city, to
those of the Great Western Railroad Com
pany adjoining, where it was to be stored,
th° barrel sprung a leak. The man at ones
called a cooper to repair the cask, and stop
the flow of oil, and while this operation was
being performed, someone passed with a
light. The gas from the escaping oil com
muuicated therewith, setting lire instantly
to the barrel and its contents. An explosion
at once followed, and the burning oil ran
down along the dock in all directions, cob
municaiing to other barrels of kerosene
upon the premises, until with almost light,
ning rapidity the flames reached the freight
house and the passenger depot of the De
troit and Milwaukee Railroad, and the
freight boat Windsor, which was lying at
the dock.
The buildings, being of wood, burnt like
tinder, and were soon a mass of seething,
crackling flames. At the time of the break
ing out of the fire, there were some 55 men
at work on the boat and premises, and in
the cor fusion of the moment and the fright
incident thereto, some lost all presence of
mind, and, instead of endeavoring to subdue
the flames, rushed wildly to and fro along
the pier. Others jumped from the boat in
to the river, and were picked up while
clinging to the docks, or floating down the
stream. Meanwhile the vessel, wrapped in
fire, swung loose from her moorings and
floated down the stream, lighting up the
shores on either side, and reminding one of
the fire-boats” the rebels sent down the
Mississippi.
Tho scene was grand beyond description.
Every mast, spar, rope, and tackle of the
vessels anchored along the channel were
most distinctly and clearly outlined against
the sky. On the shore was fire; on the
river fire ; and on both land and water the
Fire King held his revels. On shore were
the sturdy firemen battling with might and
main the fiery element, la the stream was
the burning “ Windsor,” drifting along with
the fast-sweeping current. Obeying no
helm, she ground against the docks, brushed
here a s'eamer and there a sail-boat, and
then shot for a moment into the channel,
only to be swept by the changing current
again toward the shore. Small tugs ran
here and there, catting loose the varied
fastened water-crafts, and towing them to
places of safety. At last the burning steam
er struck the foot of Woodward avenue, and,
being mom mtarily held fast, the captain of
the ferry-boat “ Detroit” succeeded in grap
pling and towing her into deep water in the
midale of the river, where she could no
longer endanger valuable property, and
where, when tire had done its best, water —
her native element —might fold her in its
embrace, and hide her charred and ruined
frame.
In passing Brush street, a man, since as
certained to be Mr. Daniel MeCaen, resid
ing on the Second gravel road at Windsor,
was seen clinging to one of the stanchions
back of the wheel-house. He was rescued
£>y some citizens, who put off to his assist
ance in a small boat, and taken to the Amer
ican Hotel, in this city, more frightened
than hurt.
Many instances of manly daring and pluck
were exhibited, but one, at least, deserved
special mention.
Officer Peter Grogan, Mr. William Bur
rell, and Mr. T. Westbrook, broke into a boat
house, and,taking therefrom an old water
logged craft, pushed out to the rescue of the
drowning men, who were endeavoring to
support themselves on pieces of board and
floating boxes. They succeeded in saving
four persons, but two others perished before
they could reach them. There wore un
doubtedly several lives lost, but in the hur
ry and confusion of the moment wo could
not learn positively of any other than
these.
The firemen worked nobly to conquer the
flumes in the depot and adjoining buildings,
but for nearly two hours were unable to
make headway against the devouring ele
ment. The freight depot, the offices adja
cent, and the freight pili and on the docks all
cou'ributed to swell the column of smoke
and fire. The barrels of oil upon the pier
caught, and one by cue exploded, thus con
stantly adding fresh fuel thereto. Water
seemed neither to quench nor control it.
A loaded freight tram, which, owing to the
immerse heat could not be removed, was
also ignited, and the greater pot lion con
sumed. The mails from the Ea-t, and those
going West, were destroy* and The baggage
was but partially removed, and most valua
ble papers belonging to the comp my were
either burned up or so tram; led under foot
in the mud as to be entirely useless and
illegible. The houses on the opposite side
of the street were only saved by being kept
soaked with water. Furniture of all kinds
was removed and the dwellings emptied of
iheir contents. It seemed at one time as if
they must surely be consumed, as there was
a strong wind blowing, and the steamers,
although working with might and main,
seemed unable to subdue the flames, which
were gaining rapidly on them. The roofs
of the burning buildings fell iu one by one;
then for a moment blazing up brighter than
before, would fade into a mass of .brilliant
coals, shooting out occasionally a hungry,
angry, disappointed jet of lurid flames
seemingly anxious for further food to feast
upon.
Along the docks down the river a number
of small frame buildings were allowed to
burn, as more valuable property needeu .it-"
tention. Several men who were attempting
to remove the valuables in the upper story
of the main office, narrowly escaped being
smothered to death by the smoke, all the lad
ders and methods of communication with
the street having been taken away in the
excitement of the moment. Their cries for
help attracted the attention of those below,
and they were finally rescued from their
perilous situation.
A large pile of lumber was thrown into
the river to prevent its being consumed.
Same, however, having ignited, floated down
the stream, adding, with its half-extinguish
ed ligh-, to the ghastly grandeur of the
scene.
The loss is estimated by several officers
of the company at $500,000, and this will,
probably, in view of the damage to property
and the delay in carrying on the business of
the road, be a very light estimate.
Krom the Detroit P Bt, April 28.
The steamer Windsor, which was lying at
the dock, ignited almost instantaneously.
At the time the fire broke out, Capt. Clinton
was standing about 300 feet from the depot.
He staried at once for his vessel, but the
flames spread so rapidly that he found him
self unable to reach her. Running down
the dock a short distance, be procured a
small boat, and pushed cut into the river,
succeeding in arriving at the steamer in
time to save the lives of a number of the
hands. ■
William Kirby, the mate of the Windsor,
was on board in charge, and as soon as he
discovered the fire, rang the bell for the
boat to swing clear of the dock, but before
anything could be done the vessel was in
flames. Seeing that no time was'to be lost,
he thereupon ran aft, called the men to save
themselves by jumping into the river, and,
as they did so, threw life-preservers to as
many as ho could see.
The number who perished is as yet un
known. It is believed that at least‘JO lives
wets lost. The captain of the Windsor
states that 13 men, who are known to have
been upon that vessel, are missing.
A man in a state of stupefied intoxication,
known to have been on board one of the oars,
is believed to have been burnt to cinders, as
no trace of him can be found.
A train of both pass’cng-er and freight
cars was standing upon the track at the de
pot, about to start for Saginaw. It consist-*
ed of six cars, one o p which was a sleeping
coach, containing some 30 or 40 passengers,
most of whom had retired for the night.
Two of the cars were totally desiroyed, in
cluding the sleeping coach, which was
valued at $2,000.
There are always in times of danger some
singular individuals who, for their quiet
self.control and cool and steady determina
tion to acquit themselves like men, deserve
special commendation. There was at least
one such upon this occasion. John John
son, a colored man. who had charge of the
sleeping car attached to the Saginaw (rain,
saw the fire break out, and, with true cour
age, quietly requested the passengers to re
main in their seats, as the train would, he
believed, be drawn out of the depot. Find
ing, however, that the track ahead was
blocked with freight cars, rendering it im
possible for the train to move, he at once
turned his attention to saving the passeng
ers. After getting them all out, as ho be
lieved, although the car was wrapped, in
dames, be examined carefully every berth
to put the matter beyond all question, and
then left the car himself.
Wm. Kirby, the mate of the Windsor,
whom we have already referred to, and who
remained on his steamer until literally
scorched with the heat, when finally driven
to jump overboard, was thrown a heaving
line. With true sailorlikc heroism, he quiet
ly sang out to the parties thus tendering a
helping hand: “Throw it to someone else.”
Among the losers is the chief editor of
The Post Gen Carl Schurz. He had two
large b ires in the depot of the Michigan
Souther; railroad, containing, among other
thing a very valuable portion of his libra
ry, a collection of fine geographical and mi
litary maps, a collection of photographic re
productions of the best paintings in the
gallery of Madrid, several volumes of ma
nuscript, a number of letters from Mr. Lin
coln and other prominent persons, and all
his correspondence with his family during
the last twelve years, containing an al
most complete diary of tho political and
military events with which ho has been con
nected. Tho loss is a very severe one as
far as the pecuniary value of the contents
oft he boxes is concerned, but, as many of
the articles destroyed cannot by any possi
bility be replaced, it is irreparable.
The scenes on the river beggar descrip
tion. The burning steamer, swayed to and
fro by the changing evolutions of the tide,
with the decks and sides covered with
drowning , burning men, whoso cries,
groans, prayers, and imprecations could be
Heard abc m the uoi.-e of the firemen on the
shore, and the shouts of their rescuers on
the water, presented a spectacle of grand
and awful sublimity, never to be forgotten.
Indeed their cries were plainly heard on the
Canadian side of the river, and their ago
nized pleading countenances, as hope gave
way to fear and they sank to rise no more,
were discernable by the lurid glare of the
land and water fires, to those who lined the
shores, and whose heartfelt sympathies and
invocations they had, although unable to
offer assistance.
A London correspondent gives the follow
ing anecdote of Nathan Rothschild :
“ The bank of England having refused to
discount a large bill drawn on him. he
gathered all the-five pound notes he could
procure in England and on the continent,
and presented himself at the bank. He
drew from bis pocket-book a five pound
note, and they naturally counted out five
sovereigns. The baron examined one by
ono the coins, and put them into a little
canvas bag, then drawing out another note.
—a third —a tenth—a hundredth, he never
put the pieces of gold into the bag without
scrupulously examining them, and in some
instances trying them m the balance, a a , bt
said, “ the law gave him the right to do so."
The first pocket book being emptied, am)
the first bag full, he passed uiem to his
clerk, and received a second, and thus con-’
tinned till the close of the bank. The
baron had employed seven hours to charge
£21,000. Bat as be bad also nine employes
of his house engaged in the same manner,
it resulted that the house of Rothschild had
drawn £21,000 in gold from the bank, and
that he so occupied the tellers that no other
person could change a tingle note. The
next day he returned, much to tho amuse
ment of the people at his pique, but they
laughed no longer when the king of ban ters
Said, wi>h ironic simplicity, ‘ these gentle
men refuse to pay my bills, and I have
sworn not to keep theirs. At their leisure,
only, I notify them that I have enough to
employ them for two months!’
“ ‘ For two months ? ’
“‘Eleven millions in gold drawn from
the hank of England which they never pos
s ss *d!*
“ The bank took alarm ; there was some
thing to be done. The next morning notice
appeared in the journals that henceforth
the bank would pay PvothschiU’s bills the
same as their own.”
CURRENT ITEMS*
Domestic Paragraphs,
—The new paper shirts are to be sold for
twenty-five cents each.
—Sententious epitaph in n Scooben
(Miss.) cemetery: ‘•lhorotiin, not forgot
ten.”
—The Protestant Methodists, Wesleyans,
and kindred churches, who believe in lay
representation, and do not believe in B'sh
ops, are to hold a Convention in Cincinnati,
commencing May 9, to continue ten days.
—The author of the “ Hard-Shell Bap
tist” sermons, which created considerable
amusement some years since, has recently
turned out to be William P. Brannan, of
Cincinnati, 0.
—The municipal authorities of Boston
have enacted that the bowling and billiard
saloons of tnat city shall be closed at ten
o’clock every evening except Saturday, and
, from six o'clock on that evening until over
Sunday.
—The Chicago Tribune is pleased to learn
that each city scavenger has only an aver
age of thirty miles of streets to attend to,
and that if no more filth is deposited, the
present refuse may, by hard work, be re
moved in sis years.
—The rapacious New York landlordsbave
overshot the mark. Since the moving time
of April 1, there are many houses for rent
and no fakers. Four hundred houses arc
noted by one newspaper as labeled “For
Bent;”
—A man mnud Fleming died at Lock
port, Will county, recently, aged 102 years,
having been born in 1764. Was never sick
in his life, not even to the extent of a head
ache or toothache, and was never a sufferer
from anything in the way of accident.
—A Homoeopathic; Life Insurance Com
pany is about to go into, operation in Al
bany. It. proposes to issue policies of in
surance upon the lives of persons who are
patrons of .homoeopathy, at .ten per cent,
less than the rate imposed upon persons
employing allopathic treatment.
—A prominent undertaker of Tt'.jianapo
lis, Ind., is busy making a very large stock
of coffins, in view of the approach of the
cholera, and appears to be enjoying himself
very much. Among the hundreds of wood
en overcoats there is not one that fits the
proprietor. Is that suggestive of life insu
ran 30
—ln the mouths of January and Febru
ary the excess of passengers west of Chi
cago above those returning to the East, was
estimated at 3,800 each month. In March
the excess of travel West was 5,400. and
for Aoril it will probably reach 10,000,
showing that the emigration westward is
increasing f t a rapid pace.
—Two boys in New York recently stole a
tin box containing nearly $3,000. They
had been reading the papers and probably
intended to ‘'compromise” with the owner
or the detectives for half the money. They
made one mistake, they did not steal enough.
Had they taken half a million dollars, or
even one hundred thousand, there would
have been hops for them. As it was they
went to jail.
—The owner of a large dog at Grand
Rapids, Mich., a few days ago placed a one
hundred dollar looking-glass before his
canine to worry him. The Jog flew around,
harking and growling. The owner was de
lighted and cried “Sick ’em;” the dog
“sicked;” the mirror and the “other dog”
disappeared at the same time. The joke
rather turned on the owner.
—The following public journals are edit
ed by cob r and men:
The Colored Tennesseean, Nashville; the
Communicator, Dali imo re, Maryland; An
glo African, New York; Christian Recorder,
Philadelphia, Pacific Appeal. San Francisco,
California; Colored Citizen, Cincinnati;
New Orleans aTnlnne : Nationlist, Mobile,.
Alabama; Loyal Georgian, Augusta, Geor
gia.-
—The Cleveland Herald tells of a young
German, recently married in that city, who,
on the 20th, was taken suddenly ill, and, ae
was supposed, died ot the 22d. IVhile
watching hy the corpse on the 23d, his wife
perceived a motion of the body, and soon
after a second movement was observed by
others present, a physician was called, re
storatives applied, and the young man saved
from the dreadful fate of burial alive.
—A. sycamore tree was cut down a few
days ago on Kerry Point, Va., and in maul
ing it up a lock of hair was .discovered in
the centre of the tree, about four feel from
the ground.- The hair appeared to be a
curl from a female head, and must have
been put. in its position some fifty or sixty
years ago. A hole had been gouged to the
heart of the tree, the hair put in and (he
hole plugged up. The place had afterwards
grown over, and the cavity was found to be
in the heart of the tree. The hair appear
ed to bn as fresh as if lately cut from the
human head.
—The Newburyport ITerali publishes a
statement of Charles 11. Golden, in jail
there on charge of burglary, in which he
claims to have been very intimate with Mrs.
Cunningham and her family, and knew all
about the projected murder of Dr. Burdell,
in Bond street, New York, several years ago.
He says, among other things, that Mrs. Cun
ningham offered him $25 000, and her
daughter Augusta in marriage, if ho would
murder Dr. Burdell, Ify whose death Mrs.
Cunningham would get SIOO,OOO. He de
clined the job, but took Augusta, to the the
atre, returned with her to Bond street, and
slept,in the house that, night, knowing, be
fore be went to bed. thar. the murder Had
been committed. The confession looks sen
sational, but may be true.
Forciga Gossip.
—There are 78 daily papers printed in
Great Britain and Ireland.
The number of Mormons in Norway
has lately been considerably increasing.
There are now 503 of them at Cnristiana,
of whom 365 arc women.
—A terrible accident recently took place
at the Chelienham race. A stand gave way,
burying 300 persons in the ruins. Many
were severely hurt, but none reported dead.
—Mr. Ten Broeck, the e iterprislng Amer
ican turfman in England, recently met with
an accident. In and amounting from his hack,
his horse suddenly turned, knocked him
down, and trod on him, injuring him, bu
fortunately not seriously.
—The finances of Montreal arc in a mud
dle, and if they get wojsc.'itig not unlikely
they will be praying for tiio Finnegans to
take the city and run it. The city debt is
over $5,000,000, and the arrears for taxes
due to Lba cay -amount to over sooo,ooo.
The new treasurer is so overcome by theia
bor and confusion that he is seriously ill.
—A young man was killed in London re
cently, by crinoline. Walking- along the
street, his foot caught in a lady’s (skirt, and
he was thrown to the pavement. The cor
oner. on the inquest, stated that he knew of
four recent cases of death from similar cau
ses. The jury rendered a verdict of “ac
cidental death from treading on a woman’s
crinoline.
—A strange cave has lately occupied one
of the English assize courts for several
days. A charge was preferred against a
child ten j eers old, of stealing one penny
from a schoolmate, the prosecutor being a
clergyman named Rev. G. 11. Gray. If this
is not small businea , we don’t know what
would be. The spectacle of a clergyman
prosecuting a ten yetr oli child for stealing
a penny should be handed down to posteri
ty for the benefit <*?<the wor‘fay man’s fata
ily‘
J OHS Qxtiscy An aas has been arrested in
Petaluma, Cal., for stealing chickens. Thus
is a great name befowied.
From The Western Railroad Gazette.
Chicago to Cleveland and Buffalo.
Through to Cleveland Without Change of
Cars—lhc New Route via Crestline.
This new line established by the Pitta
burg Ft. Wayne and Chicago Railroad
Company is already a formidable competi
tor for public patronage and favor with
the older and longer route via Toledo
Passengers and shippers in this city and
(he northwest are beginning to appreciate
the excellent facilities and inducements it
offers. Tickets are sold at all important
points in th e north west,and baggage check
ed through to Cleveland, iuffalo or any
Eastern point by the Crestline route. The
trains leave promptly from the West Side
Union Depot going through on time, while
the stations whore meals arc taken, are
located at points best adapted to secure
comfort, health and enjoyment to the
traveler.
At Erie, Dunkirk and Buffalo, direct
connections are made with the New York
Central, the “broad guage” Erie and
Philadelphia and Erie railways for all
points East.
Like many other prevalent opinions
which have no foundation in truth, it is
generally supposed that the route by
Crestline is the longest. This mistake is
readily corrected by reference to the fig
ures given in Appleton’s Railway Guide
and obtained from official sources. They
are as follows:
ROUTE VIA TOLEDO.
Chicago to Cleveland 557 miles
Cleveland to Buffalo IS3 *
Total Distance.. 510 miles
ROUTE VIA CRESTLINE.
Chicago to Cleveland., 354 miles
Cleveland to Buffalo 133 “
Total Distance- ' 37 miles
The distance then as shown by the
above figures which cannot be contro
verted, is actually less by three miles by
the Pittsburg and Ft. Wayne route by way
of Crestline than that via Toledo.
Not only is the track of this line in the
best possible repair but the cars are of
the most comfortable and luxurious in the
country. The sleeping cars are distin
guished in an especial manner for their
beauty, elegance, strength, convenience,
and the careful attention constantly given
to keep them in a perfectly sweet and
clean condition. They are all built by the
Central Transportation Company of Phil
adelphia, and are perfectly palatial in
their appointments.
The new hotel at Crestline, the “Con
tinental” (the principal “ meal ” depot on
the route) has just been completed fa’ the
Company at an expense of over One Hun
dred Thousand dollars. It can handsomely
accommodate 300 guests, and its break
fasts, dinners and suppers have already
become famous with all who know what
good fare and a plenty of it, and ample time
to eat it, means.
Finally, the route via Crestline to Cleve
land and Buffalo is First Class in every
respect. It is shorter and quicker than
any other, and its excellent track, splen
did cars and sleeping coaches, atfe.blo and
obliging conductors and attractive dining
halls constitute such elements of popular
ity as few who consult comfort and speed
in traveling arc able to resist. The traffic
in freight and passengers by the Crestline
route is rapidly increasing and according
to present indications, it will soon be the
popular line of transit between Chicago,
Cleveland and Buffalo.
Since the above was in type, (he Pitts
burgh, Fort Wayne and Chicago Railroad
Company have carried into effect a now
arrangement which will be of great con
venience to the traveling public. They
now run Ann trains from Chicago to Cleve
land through without change of cars. The
increase of travel on this short line route
has already been much larger than was
anticipated, and fully justifies the man
agement in sparing no effort that may
contribute to the comfort and convenience
of their patrons and friends.
The Crestline route is growing in publio
favor daily, and passengers for Cleveland
who have tried it, acknowledge it to bo
fully equal, and in many important re
spects superior to any competing lino run
ning East from Chicago.
A.Smart Station Agent.
Some years ago, shortly after the intro
duction of the Illinois Central road through
that portion of Illinois known as “Egypt,”
an honest countryman, who had lived
some forty years or thereabout in blissful
ignorance of everything pertaining to the
“ker&,” was appointed station agent at
C , one of those little out-of-lne-way
places where, as Dickens says, “ no one
could by any possibility want to get off or
on.” On receiving his instructions he
was told, among olhei things, that, as
C was merely a “ flag station,” trains
would stop only when someone wished to
get off or on; and that if he wanted to
stop any train ho must “ flag ” it.
Shortly after his appointment, accor
dingly, as the “mail” came thundering
on, he placed the magic red flag in posi
tion—the signal to slop.
As the car drew up to the station the
conductor jumped off on the platform, with
his accustomed “All aboard! ”at the sama
tine asking if tbero were “any passen
gers to get on ? ”
“ Wa’al, not as I knows of,” was the
puzzled agent’s reply.
“Then what did you stop the train for?”
shouted the irate conductor.
“ I didn’t know but some un might want
to get off ! ” said the obliging “agent” in
a conscious tone of injured innocence.
Ko Time to ftuy a Ticket.

Avery good story is told of a railroad
conductor, running a train not a thousand
miles from Buffalo. A certain “chap”
was found on board his train one day,
who “ had not time to get a ticket,” and
compelled the conductor to make change.
The passenger handed the conductor a
$5OO 7.30. on which had accrued four or
five months’ interest. This was the
“smallest change he had.” “Never
mind,” said the conductor, very coolly, at
the same time drawing from his “other
pocket ” a large roll of greenbacks. The
“change” was speedily made, and the
conductor resumed his call for “ tickets.”
“ That interest,” cried the passenger.
“ Not due yet,” says the conductor, and
went on his way—sls or $2O belter off,
on account of his unlucky passenger.
—On Swedish railways, the guards on
the train arc required to have a knowledge
of the elements of surgery, that in case of
accidents they may be able to render val
uable assistance. An ambulance, fitted
up with every requisite, forms a part of
each train.

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