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T fT TRAIN.
BY W. A. cnpFFUT. With lungs of iron and wings of flame. With nerves and sinews of quivering steel, With ribs of brass and giant* frame. He outtrns the earth with an angry heel. the midnight black His cvebalis glare. With a ghastly starts On the stalled track. And he ii Qtf.itis voice with a scream of pain; O, a mbwytcr. grim, is the Lightning Train. The let£rdl fflls of a milk-white steed 'i'lm carried Mohammed from earth to heaven; As swift as a Hash of light her speed, Aniry*-wW"T wings to her feet were given. "Each leap-was a- far As the bve htrth sight. - - Ahrt each hoof as bright < A* a blazing star; And a ?l-an like a trail a comet yields, As Jlijrak bjft iu the rosy, tie Ida. A wondwftii arrowAvas that of old That Itore Saint Vljuris through the land; It Htt. feathered with light and barbed with gold, And sped by the touch of Apollo’s hand. With a sibilant song ' * Idt cleft the cloud, ,j That shouted aloud . Ait it passed along; And ihe aea never saw, from its throbbing tide, A vision s* rare as the Prophet's ride 1 tt: y i The Saltan a cap and magical wand Bore Fortunatns to isles remote; The talisman took him to every land A tick to every sky iu its airy boat, . But the gleaming shaft Prom the archer's arm, . Aladdin's charm. And the phantom craft, And the steed that skimmed the azure plain, Are all combined in the flying train. it devours'the forest and drinks ttie lake. Then plunges d-nvu the wide ravines With the wealth of the world on its burdened back. A sooty juaij from the saddle leans, And a murky wreath ittwiaws emit , As he tightens the bit Xn tite dragon's tenth, And lys cheek is swept by its flery mane, O, Vmoustes, grim, is tite Lightning Train ! —yeiv York Tribune. n A sostn STRAIT. “We 'must have a lemon or two, Sam,” she says; and so, though I'd just set down to my pipe anti drop of beer, I got up again and I says, “Now, I tell you what it is lass, it’s just two miles to the town, and it snows like fury, so if you can think of anything else you want, just say so, and I'll gftYt the same time.” “(>, *t isn’t worth while to go if it snows,” she says; “never mind, and I’ll make shift without. But 0!” she cried, all at once, “father’s coming to-morrow, and you’ve no tobacco.” Well, I’d never thought about that, for when I’d had my lingers in tlie little jar, there seemed enough even if next day was Christmas day ; but with company — why, tlie re would not be half enough. So that settled it, and I got my stick and hat; . when Polly declared I could’nt go out a night like that without something round my neck, so she tied a comforter round twice, close ip to my nose and cars. “Now, don’t, be silly, Sam,” she says. “Why, wot’s silly,” I says. “Why, your being such an old goose, and making so much fuss after being mar ried all these months. Now, let go, do,” she says. But I didn’t, of course, but held her for just a few moments while I looked down in her laughing eyes that seemed to have grown brighter since we’d married; and then I smoothed, —no, I didn’t, for no hair could have been smoother, —1 passed my rough chopped-about old hand down the bright shiny hair that I felt so proud of, and then kissed both her pink cheeks, and felt somehow half glad, half sorrow ful, for it seemed to me that I was too happy for it to last. “There, now,” she says, at last, “make haste, there’s a dear, good boy! and get back; perhaps I shall be done by that time, and then we’ll have a snug bit of supper.” But! couldn’t get, away, somehow, but watched her busy fingers getting ready the things for the next day’s dinner, —chop- ping suet, - stoning plums, mincing peel,— and all in such a nice, neat, clean way, that it was quite enjoyable. “Now,, do go, Sam,” she says, pretending to pout, ‘‘for I do want you back so bad. So I made a start of it; unlatched the door, when tlie wind came roaring in, la den with Hakes of snow; the sparks rushed up the chimney, the candle flickered, while Polly gave me just one bright look and nod, and then I shut the door. -But, there —I couldn’t get away even then, but went and stood by tlie window a minute, where tlie little branches of holly were stuck, glistening green, and with scarlet berries amongst the prickly leaves; and there I stood looking in at tlie snug, bright, warm kitchen, with Polly making it look ten times more warm and bright. It wasn’t that it was a handsome place, or well fur nished,- —for those sort of things don't al ways make a happy home, —but plain, humble, and poor as* it was, it seemed to me like a palace; and after watching my lass for a few minutes as she was busier than ever, —now frowning, now making a little face at her work, —now with a bright light in her eye, as something seemed to please her, —1 all at once thought to my self, 4 and, what’s more I says to myself, “Sam Darrell,” I says, “why, what a don key you are, not to get what you want, and make haste back!” which, when you consider that it was snowing hard, blowing harder, and that where I stood the snow drift was over my knees, while inside there was everything a reasonable workingman could wish for, you’ll say was just about the truth. Sol gives myself a pull together, hitches up my shoulders, sets my head down to face the wind and the blinding snow, and then with my hands right at the bottom of my pockets, oft' I goes. Now, we’d been together into the town that night to bring home a good basketful of Christmas cheer; for even if you do live in the black country amongst the coal mines and furnaces, and work as pit car penter at making brattices and the ilifter ent wood work wanted, that’s no reason why you shouldn’t spend a merry Christ mas and a happy one. But now there was his tobacco and the lemons to get; and from where we lived, right across the heath to the town being two miles and me being alone, 1 made up my mind to out oft" a corner, so as to get back sooner. So 1 turned out of the road as soon as I was out of the colliery Village, makes sure of the town lights, and then taking my stick under my arm, set off at a trot to the left of the old pits. The wind was behind me now, and though the snow made it hard work walk ing, 1 wasn’t long before I was trudging like a white statty right through the town street then thronged with people, when I goes into a shop and after a good deal of waiting gets my lemons and tobacco, pays for ’em „ad starts off home. A a soon as L was out of the town again, I gets out of the road to take that short cut; and now I began to find out what kind of a night it was; for the wind Jsvas right dead in my teeth, while the way in which the snow cut into your eyes was something terrible. But I fought iny way on, setting up an opposition whistle to the wind ana thinking about the warm fire side at home with the snug supper table ; and then I thought of what a blessing it was in a hard winter to live close to the pit’s mouth and plenty of coal for next to nothing. We could ’ afford a good tire there, such as would cheer the heart of the London poor, while wages w ere not so bad. Every now and then I had to stop and kick the snow oil' my boot soles, for it col lected in hard balls so as to make walking harder; then, not having the town lights to guide me, I found lil wandered a bit out of the track so that the ground grew rougher and rougher, and more than once I stumbled. The wind heat worse than ever; the snow so blinded me that I could not look out for the lights of the village, and at last I began to think that I’d done a foolish thing in trying to make a shortcut. But then one is always slow about owning to toeing in the wrong; so 1 blundered and stumbled on; but at last, after walking for some time, I was obliged to own to myself that I was lost in the snow. “Stuff and nonsense!” I says the next minute, and then 1 has a look round to try and make out where I was, for i knew every foot of it almost; but nothing could I set* but snow falling almost like in a sheet all round me, so that I could only sec a few feet each way, while the snow where 1 stood was nearly up to my knee.-. I listened but there was nothing to be heard but the whistling of the wind ; I shouted but the cry sounded muffled and close just as if x had been in a cupboard; then I walked, and walked a little one way, and then turned and went another; and at last to my hor ror I found that I was regularly confused and could not make out in which direction lay town or village, while the snow cov ered in every footmark in a very few min- utes. Now I did not feel alarmed, only both ered and confused; I felt sure that if I kept on walking I must come to some place or another which I knew, unless I walked right out on the great waste, where I might go for miles without finding a house; but I was hardly likely to get there and the thing I most cared for was my poor gal at home gettiug upset about me and thinking that I’d stopped in the town drinking with some mates, being Christ mas eve, when I’d promised her over and over again most faithfully that I’d always ha've my drop of beer at home. “There’s no danger, that’s one comfort,” I said, “unless I run bang into the canal; and even then I shall know where I am,” I says, “so that won’t be such a serious matter”; and then 1 tried again to make out where I was, but tlie snow came down more than ever; and at last feeling wor ried and cross, I started oft' afresh as hard as I could go, when all at once I let go of my stick for I felt one foot slipping, and as I felt it go a fearful thought came across my mind. With an agonized cry I tried to recover myself, hut from leaning forward to face to the wind this was impossible, and then shrieking out — “My God it’s the old pit!” I was falling and rolling down —down into the black darkness. It was like being in some horrible dream and for a moment I fancied it might be; but no, there I was falling faster and faster for a length of time that seemed without end, as I waited for the coming crash when I reached the bottom —to be found after wards a mutilated corpse. I thought all this and much more as I fell down the sloping shaft of the old pit, and then came a tremendous splash as. I was plunged down beneath the icy water which roared and thundered in my ears. I had been down pit after pit in my time working in the shafts at the wood casing, making new or repairing the old, perhaps half way down, hanging in a cage, or I had been working at the traps and doors in the most dangerous parts where you might hear the gas hissing through between the seams of black slaty shale; but 1 never be fore knew so a hideous a sense of fear as came over me when rising to the surface of the water. I struck out as if by in stinct for the side, and then clinging to the roughened wall with one hand, and with the other thrust into a sort of hole, I re mained for a few seconds panting and half mad, up to my neck in the cold water, while the darkness was terrible. It is impossible to describe the horrible thoughts that came hurrying through my mind as if to unnerve me, —thoughts of foul choking gases, of fearful things swim ming about in the black water, or of hor rid monsters lurking in its terrible depths ready to drag me under and drown me; but xvorse still, as I began to recover my self a little, were the calyier thoughts of the length of time I could hold on there without becoming numbed, and then slip ping off and drowning. I shouted, and the sound went echoing up the shaft with a horrible unearthly * tone that made me tremble. 1 cried again and again until I was hoarse, but knew all the while that it was useless, for there was not a cottage for at least a mile, and then terror seemed to get the better of me as I felt that there in the midst of that fearful darkness 1 must drown and then sink to the bottom of this old, old, worn-out coal-pit; while no one, not even my poor wife, would know of my fate. With the thoughts of my wife, came thoughts of the pleasant scene I had so lately gazed upon, when something almost like a sob seemed to come from my heart, and then came weak despairing tears; but I roused up and shouted again and again, throwing my head back to try and see the mouth of the pit, but though imagination peopled the darkness with horrors, there was nothing around but the intense black ness ; while, to add to my despair and ter ror, I could feel that my hands were slowly, slipping from their hold. Could any man have heard me down there, two hundred feet below the mouth, it must have been very fearful, tor during the next minute I was shrieking for aid, giving vent to the most unearthly yells, praying aloud and crying for mercy ; and then hoarse and worn out I felt that I must sink back, and I did, shrieking and strug gling savagely for life till the cold water gurgled over my mouth and choked back my cry. Then for a few minutes I was beating the water frantically as a dog beats it when it cannot swbn; but my nerve seemed to come once more, and even then, in the midst of that horror and despair, I could not help thinking of myself as being like a rat in a well as I swam round by the side trying to find a place to hold on by. I swam slowly along striking my right hand against the side at every stroke, but after a few strokes it did not touch any thing, aud then st riking out more boldly I swam on turning to the right with a ray of hope in my heart, for I knew that I was on the level of one of the old veins, and though swimming farther into the bowels of the earth, yet I had not the horrible depth of the shaft under me, while I knew that before long I should And bottom for my feet. All at once my hand touched the side ; then I raised one up and could touch the roof; and then after a few more strokes I let my feet down slowly and found the bot tom, but the water was to my lip; still by swimming and wading I stood where it was only to my middle; and now pausing to rest for awhile, I leaned up against the side and in the reaction that came on again cried weakly and like the dcspairing'wretch I was. By degrees the heavy panting of my heart grew less painful, while heated with the exertion L did not feel cold; but soon an icy chill crept over me as I stood there listening to the low echoing “drip, drip, drip” of the water far away to my right. Racking thoughts too oppressed me, and despairing, I felt that there was no chance of my being discovered, since ,to keep alive I must penetrate farther into the mine, though oven from where I was then it was doubtful whether my voice could be heard. I knew very well where I was and that very little traffic lay at the old pit’s mouth, while the next day being Christinas made the chances less. But would not my wife give the alarm and would not there be a Bareli ? Surely, I thought, there must he hope yet; and then in a disconnected half wild way I tried to offer up a prayer for succor. * Not standing—not with my hand resting upon the wall—but kneeling, with the water rising to my neck and I rose again stronger and better able to think. And now I began to look within and to think of the dangers I had to encounter. As to there being things swimming about or anything terrible to attack me, my com mon sense told me that there was no cause for fear in that direction; but the next thought was a terrible one, and my breath came thicker and shorter as I seemed to feel the effect of it already—“ Was there any foul gas?” But I found that I could still breathe freely, and by degrees this fear Went off; while, summoning up my cour age, I waded on “splash-splash” in the echoing darkness, farther and farther into the mine, always with the water growing shallower and shallower as I receded from the shaft; and at last I stood upon the dry bottom, but with the water streaming oil me. The place did not feel cold, while as I sat down I could not but wish tha; my clothes were dry, for they clung to nie till I stripped a part of them off and wrung out the water, when I felt on putting them on again comparatively warm. But what a position! Trembling there in the midst of that thick darkness, with a wild imagina tion peopling it with every imaginary hor ror, I lay despairing, till, with the thought strong upon me that I was buried alive, I began to* run recklessly about, now dash ing myself violently against the sides, now tripping over the fragments that had fallen from the roof, till at last the splashing water beneath my feet warned me to go back, when, with my head feeling almost on fire, I crawled back to lie panting amongst the coal and slate. All at once I recollected the tobacco, and put a piece in-my mouth, and after a time it seemed to calm me so that I could sit and think, though at times I would have given worlds to have run away from my thoughts. How time went i could not tell; but it seemed after a while that I must have slept for I leapt up all at once pith the fancy strong^upon me that I heard Folly calling; but though I strained my ears to listen, there was nothing but the “ drip, drip” of the water; while I feared to call out, for the sound went echoing along, so that seemed to be repeated again and again till I felt to creep with dread. Many hours must have passed, for a heavy, dull, sleepy feeling oppressed me as I lay there, numbed bodily and in mind ; but at length I started up thoroughly awake, feeling certain that I had heard a cry which seemed to have whispered like in my ear. I sat up trembling, when again there came the shout faintly heard as it came along the top of the water, and then I gave a loud despairing shriek for nelp three times and then fainted. When J came to again, it seemed like waking from a dream; and I felt that con fused that I could hardly believe that I was not in my own room at home; but as I sat up, the thought of where I was came upon me again, while like a faint, buzzing, whispering noise, I could-hear voices. To rouse up and give a tremendous shout was but the work of a moment, when my heart rose, for it was answered, though but faint ly, and I knew that I was being sought for, and sat listening. But soon I grew impatient and began wading into tlie water, so as to be once more nearer to living creatures; and I waded on and on till the water was up to my chin and 1 could hardly stand, when I shouted again, and now I could hear the reply quite plainly. After a while I saw a faint light flash along the wall, and knew that a piece of something burning had been cast down the nit; and then again and again I saw simi lar flashes, while I stood there trembling lest I should sink from exhaustion and be drowned; But now something far more reviving came, for, like a star shining along the water, I could see the light of a lantern that had been lowered down, as it swung slowly about at the mouth of the passage; while at length close by it I saw something move, when I felt choking, as I knew that a man had been lowered down, and was swinging beside the lantern;, while, when his voice came ringing along the passage with a cheery “Where are you, mate?” for a few moments my head swam, and I couldn’t answer. “ Can’t, you get to me ?” he says, after I had answered. “ No!” I says, “ I daren’t try to swim it.” “Then I must,” he says; and then.he shouted out “ Slack out,” and an echoing splash came along to my cars. “ How far is it?” lie says. “ About sixty yards,” I gasjjed; and then he stopped and called out to me to keep up my heart, and lie would soon be hack; when shouting to those above, he was drawn up once more, and it seemed hours before I heard the sound of his voice again; and, directly, after, I could see the lantern coining towards me, and then I’ve a recol lection of seeing someone with a light splashing about m the water, and of hav ing something tied under my arms which floated me up till I was quashed along to tlie mouth of the jiassage, where Lean re collect clinging to the rope made fast round me; and then I was swinging about and knocking against the rough sides of the shaft, while a voice at my ear kept saying, “ Cheer up, matey!” Then in a sort of sleej) I heard people talking, and someone said, “ Here, catch hold of these life belts!” and it seemed like the voice of the man who came down to me. But the next thing I recollect is lying in my own bed, with someone sitting at thoteide, as she used to all she could for the next three days ; and told me, she did at last, of her horror when I did not come home, and of the search next day; but there were no footsteps on the waste on account of the snow, so that no one would have searched there, had not a boy been seen with my walking stick, which he had found sticking up in tlie snow by the old pit’s mouth, just as I must have left it when I fell into the fearful gulf which held me for two long days! MISCEIiIiAIVEOtTS ITEMS. —The “ Ragamuffins ” is the name of a club just organized in Norfolk, Va. —A young man shot his sister in Philadelphia, recently, for refusing to leave a house of ill fame. —The Leland brothers have leased the Delaven House at Albany for ten years, at a rent of $52,000 a year. —One hundred and sixteen members of Congress have their wives, daughters, or other ladies with them at Washington this season. —A young Wisconsin farmer and his bride, driv ing home just after their marriage, were both thrown from the wagon and instantly killed. —A member of a theatrical company playing at Albion, Nt Y., last week, accidently shot himself through the baud, shattering it badly. He contin ued to the end of his part, without betraying to the audience that he was hurt. —Capt. A. Boutelie, of Augnst.a Me. .re covered a watch recently, which was stolen from him six years ago, in Liverpool, England. He was in a concert-room at the time it was stolen, and immediately made the facts known to the detec tives there, who, after six years, succeeded in find ing it. —Henry Knause, residing in Hamburg, Berks county, Pa., set a gun trap in his smoke house for the, benefit of some thieves who had stolen his meat. He forgot that he dad set the trap, and was the first one to open the door of the smoke house, when the gun was discharged, and he was almost instantly killed. —The American Tract Society has made an ap peal to its friends for a special subscription of S'IOO.OOO, to provide an adequate stocks of books, to be issued and reproduced perpetuallyf One-fourth of this sum is now needed to provide books and tracts in the Spanish language, for the 2.000,000 of Mexico and South America. The appeal has been received, and nearly $40,000 gave been subscribed on condition that $50,000 is raised by January Ist, 1807. Thirteen individuals' have subscribed SSOO each, twelve SIOOO each, one $2,000, one $3,000. one $5,000, others smaller sums. —The Polo till.) Presx says that a young gentle man. a teacher in Ogle County, on account of illness, engaged a young lady belonging to the family with which he boarded, to take his place in the school. She tanirht for him nine days, and it is said she did the work as well as he had done it. At the close of the next term he i oceived eighteen dollars for the nine day's service of the young lady, and then asked her how much he should pay her. She told him to pay her what he thought was right. He handed her five dollars, saying he would pay her that, •• seeing as how they had done his washing and ironing during the winter.” A Hcggarcd Millionaire. [From the Pittsburgh Commercial, December 21.] Last week a brief item chronicling the sale of the Steele Farm on Oil Creek, for taxes due the Government, started on its voyage on the sea of newspaperdom. The paragraph will doubtless be read by many without a second thought, but those few lines might easily form the text for a dis course as lengthy as the moral law. It is hardly an exaggeration to state that wher ever petroleum is known, the name of “Johnny Steele,” the young prince of Ve nango County, has been heard, while the accounts of his apparently boundless . wealth and reelfless expenditures, were told in hundreds of pages. Soon after the sale of the farm, the closing act, a brief his tory of the same may not be entirely with out interest, which the Crawford Journal thus narrates: The farm more generally known “on the creek” as the widow MeClintoek farm, is immediately opposite the flourishing little town of Rouseville, and was among the lirst of the oil producing wells of the val ley. Early in 1860 the Van Slj'ke well on this farm was struck, and flowed for some time at the rate of 2,500 barrels per day, and several wells, yielding from 200 to 800 barrels, were struck at subsequent periods. Besides these there were many small wells, and the territory, though sadly misman aged, is still considered as among the best in the oil region. In 1864 widow McClin tock died from the effects of burns received while kindling a tiro from crude oil. At his time tlie average daily income from the added estate of the farm was $2,000, and by her will the property with all her pos sessions in money* was left, without reser vation, to her adopted son, John W. Steele, then about twenty years of age. In the iron safe, where the old lady kept her mo ney, was found $150,000, two thirds of the amount in greenbacks and the balance in gold. Mrs. MeClintoek was hardly cold in her coffin before young Steele, who ap pears to have had nothing naturally vicious in his composition was surrounded l)y r a set of vampyres, who clung to him as long as he had a dollar remaining. The young mil lionaire's head was evidently turned by his good fortune, as lias been that of many an older man who made his “pile in oil,” and he was of the impression that his money would accumulate rapidly unless it was ac tually thrown away, and throw it away lie did. Many of the stories concerning his career in New York and Philadelphia savor strongly of fiction, and would not be cred ited, were they not so well authenticated. Wine, women, horses, faro, and general de bauchery made a wreck of that princely fortune, and in twenty months Johnny Steele squandered two millions of dol lars. Hon. Jno. Morrissey, M. C., “went through” him at faro to the amount of $100,600 in two nights; he bought high priced turn outs, and after driving them an hour or two gave them away; equipped a large minstrel troupe, and presented each member with a diamond pin and ring, and kept about him besides, two or three men who were robbing him day after day. He is now filling the honorable position of doorkeeper for Skiff & Gaylord’s minstrels the company he organized, and is, to use a very expressive but net strictly classical phrase, completely “played out.” Souse anti Nonsense. ——Beer fills many a bottle, the bottle fills many a bier. Punch's advice how to kill time— shoot every flay. Why is John Morrissey like the Red Sea? Because he is death on Faro. Times are so hard it is suggested that pantaloons may as well be made Without pockets. Queer thing is an insurance policy. If I can’t sell it, I can-cel it, aud if I cau-cel it,* I can’t sell it. Artemus Ward thinks the great year ly fall of rain in England may be owing to the fact that the country lias a monarchical form of govern ment. A hop on the “ light fantastic toe” ! may be pleasant, but not when you hop on the fan tastic toe of your neighbor. An unctious little paper published in the petroleum regions has for its motto: “Prove oil things; hold fast that which is good.’’ A haunted house is a tenement of any number of haunted stories, to which is added an extraordinary one, in the form of a ghost story. cried a stump orator. “ No!” cried his shoemaker, “ you stand m a pair of shoes that have never been paid for.” An old miser, having listened to a very eloquent discourse on charity, remarked, “That sermon so strongly proves the necessity of almsgiving that I’ve almost a mind to beg." Smith?” demanded Mr. Jones. “ Home, sir, home; don’t detain me; I have just bought my wife anew bonnet, aud I must deliver it before the fashion changes.” man of a priest who was given to secular pursuits on the Lord’s day, “ sure, an’ that mon is a mighty sinner, is he—for it’s meself that has seen him break, the Sabbath every day of his life." A man was lately invited to a dinner, and a dish of ice cream was placed before him. It was anew dish to him. He tasted it, then, beckon ing to the waiter, said audibly, “ that’s very good padding, but do you know its froze?” office, advertises for “ a till clerk who is handsome ami a rapid penman; salary, $250. Address in own hand writing.” This gentleman evidently believes that “ a thing of beauty is a joy forever.” “John,” said a careful father, “don’t give Cousin William's horses too many oats— you know- they have hay." “ Yes, sir,” said John, mov ing toward the barn. “And hark ye, Jfhn; don’t give them too much hay , you know they have oats." When the Irish priest rebuked his parishioner for drunkenness and told him that •■whenever he entered an alehouse to drink, his guardian angel stood weeping at the door.” “And if lie had sixpence he’d ho in himself,” was Pat’s reply. mother to her hopeful son, just budded into’ breeches, “Charlie, my dear, come here and get some candy.” “I guess I wont mind it now, mother,” replied Charlie; “I’ve got in some to bacco.” A correspondent of the London Journal treats at some length on the best way to prevent hydrophobia. A wag, in reply, suggests that he once prevented a case of this dreadful malady by getting on a fourteen rail fence and staying until the “ dog” left. Little Jimmie, only about ten years old, was standing on the steps of his father’s store. smoking a cigar. A gentleman passing, asked him with surprise. “Why, Jim? when did you learn to smoke?” “Oh,” says the child, very coolly, taking his cigar between bis fingers, “ when I was a little feller.” A certain judge was reprimanding an attorney for bringing several small suits into court, and remarked that it would have been much better for all parties had he persuaded his diems to leave his cause to the arbitration of honest, men. “ Please your honor,” retorted the lawyer, “we did not choose to trouble honest men with them.” The judge fainted. A writer at Cjnb Orchard Springs, Kentucky, gives the following: “Passing the draw ing room", last evening, m.v attention was attracted to an exceedingly corpulent young lady, visiting the Springs for her health. She was seated at the piano, aud singing. ■ I)o they miss Me at Home ?’ I thought they did—about meal time.” Two students meeting on the road with a hostler, they fell to bantering him, and told the fellow they would prove him to be a horse or an ass. “Well,” said the hostler, “I can prove your saddle to be a mule.” “A mule!” cried one of them. •• llow can that be?” “ Because,” said the hostler, “it is something between an ass and a horse.” A Dutchman had two pigs—a large ore and a small one. The. smaller one being the elder, be was Irving to explain" to a customer, and he did if in this" wise: “ The little pig is the pig gest.” Upon which his wife, assuming to correct him. said: “ You will excuse him; he no speak as good English as me: he no mean that the little pig is the piggest, but the youngest pig is the oldest. A new way of keeping warm has been put in practice, and with good effect. It is to have a buckwheat cake made large enough to cover the bed. like a quilt, and spread over it -piping hot” about the time of retiring. When made of proper thickness, it retains the heat until mornin; and then, if a person is too lazy to get up. he can make a very good breakfast by eating off the edges as he lies. A gentleman called on a rich miser, and found him at the table endeavoring to catch a fly. Presently he succeeded jn entrapping one, which he immediately put intothe sugar bowl and shut down the cover. The gentleman asked for an explanation of this singular sport. "I’ll tell you.” replied the miser, a triumphant grin overspreading his countenance as he spoke; “I want to ascertain if my servants steal the sugar.” SOIMARY OF IIIF WEEK. General News. The President has pardoned ex-Governor Fletcher, of Arkansas, on the recommenda tion of the Attorney General. M. Bcrthemy, the new French' Minister, was formally presented to President John son at Washington, on Christmas day. Charles Reade, the English novelist, has commenced a suit for libel against the edi tors of the Round Table, of New York. It is asserted on what is deemed reliable authority, that no more Government troops will be ordered South except in case of actual riot in those States. The fact is now apparent at Washington that a large majority of the members of the House of Representatives are in favor of Mr. McCulloch’s theory of finance. It is now said that Dr. Mudd, the assas sination conspirator, will be released from bis confinement at the Dry Tortugas, and brought to Washington, where he will have anew trial before a civil court. The Western Union Telegraph Company have, through the House Committee on Postoftlccs, tendered the Government the use of one of its wires to test the experi ment of a Government telegraphic system. Tlie Treasury officers have succeeded in capturing the plate for a counterfeit fifty dollar legal tender note. The counterfeit is said to be one of tlie most dangerous and successful that has been palmed upon the public since the first issue of national pa per currency. Secretary Seward is very much disap pointed at the result of the Slierman-Camp bell mission. lie will wait some days be fore taking any more steps in reference to Mexican matters. In the meantime Con gress is nearly a unit against any interfer ence in the imbroglio, the expenditure of any money, or the loss of a single soldier upon that field. A violent gale, attended with snow, vis ited the Atlantic coast, extending into the interior of New York and Canada, on Thursday mglit, the 27th. Snow to the depth of twenty inches was reported at Al bany tlie next morning, resulting in a com plete suspension of railroad communica tion, which extended nearly through all tlie Eastern States. Several trains were snowed under on the Hudson River and New York Central railroads, and the storm is described as tlie most severe that lias been known since 1835. At Goodrich, C. W., the snow was reported three feet deep on a level, and no trains run for three days. Near Hudson, four passengers cars were blown from the track. Besides the Com modore, several vessels wore reported aground, and it is feared that the loss of life from shipwreck has been h avy. The three yachts concluded the famous race across the Atlantic by arriving at Cowes, in the Isle of Wight, on the 29th. Tlie run was made by the Henrietta, Ben nett’s yacht, in the almost unprecedented time of thirteen days, twenty-three hours and fifty-eight minutes, she beating her rivals a trifle over eight hours. Tlie best day’s run made by the Henrietta was two hundred and eighty miles, and the poorest one hundred and thirteen miles. She made but one tack during the whole passage. The vaclit Fleetwing lost four of her crew during the gale. The Yesta made the trip without accident. The vessels in the Roads are everwhere showing tlie Stars and Stripes alongside the Union Jack, in honor of the American yacht fleet. J. G. Ben nett, Jr., of the Henrietta, announces that he will accept a cliellange from any yacht on the Eastern side of the Atlantic. The persons lost from the Fleetwing are Cap tains Nichols and Ward, and seamen Kelly and Nelson. They were washed from the bowsprit on the eighth day out, and sub scriptions have been started for their fam ilies. Foreign Intelligence. The Emperor of Brazil has liberated one hundred and fifteen slaves at his own per sonal expense. The total amount raised for the relief of the sufferers by the Quebec fire has reached nearly a quarter of a million of dollars. The Chinese Viceroy recently suppressed a street row in Nankin, by taking off the heads of fifty-four Chinese soldiers in about as many minutes. A French astronomer has just discovered another planet, making the 91st of the as teroids, or groups of fragmentary bodies ■whose orbits lie between Mars and Jupiter The steamer Tasmania, on the passage between the West Indies and Southampton, England, had ninety-six cases of yellow fever on board, twenty-one of which were fatal. On Christmas day, the French Emperor gave a farew r ell audience to Minister Bige low, to present Gen. Dix, his successor. Napoleon’s remarks were cordial and amicable. Advices from China state that the French troops liad-captured the city and fortifica tions of Hong Kong. A destructive fire, consuming 200 houses, had also occurred in that city. In the case of the Fenian Smith, on trial at Sweetsburg, Canada East, the jury brought in a verdict of guilty. The Judge then sentenced Smith to be hanged on the 15th of February. Details of the colliery explosions in Eng land have arrived. The explosion at the Oaks, England, Colliery caused a loss of 346 lives, and by the explosion of a mine in Staffordshire, 14 lives were lost. A dispatch from Ilong Kong, China, an nounces the failure of a French naval ex pedition sent to Chinese waters to demand redress for outrages upon missionaries at Corea. The fleet was beaten off. The overthrow of the Gov ernment of Queen Isabella, of Spain, is deemed immi nent. The spirit of revolution is rampant and the Emperors of France and Austria are said to be in accord as to the future ruler of that Kingdom. A shocking accident occurred on the 29th on the Great Western Railroad, near Ko moka, C. W. An emigrant train going west ran into the rear end of the Sarnia train, telescoping the passenger and bag gage cars, resulting in seriously injuring four women and eight men, one of the lat ter, it is thought, fatally. Late Mexican advices assert that a gen eral state of insurrection existed at Mata moras. Escobedo had been put to death j by Canales. The embarkation of the I French troops had commenced, and the j French merchants at Matamoras and other points were leaving the country as fast as possible, on account of the entire absence of protection to their interests. There are prospects of an interminable war in South America. Bolivia has con cluded an alliance with Paraguay, by which the former agrees to add materially to the strength of the Paraguayan army, and the war is to be carried into Brazil. In the meantime, Peru and Chili have determined to reject the proposition of France and Eng land to mediate between them and Spain, and the war against the latter is to be prosecuted with vigor. The Herald's City of Mexico correspon dent, December 18, says: “The return of the Emperor to the throne was received with public rejoicing throughout the coun try. His army, independent of the French, numbers 35,000 men, well fed and clothed. The Imperialists say, if they have no Uni ted States troops to contend against they will ultimately succeed. They desire the withdrawal of the French. They consider it best for Maximilian.” Tlie West. The Northwestern Railroad is completed to-within fifteen miles of Council Bluffs. Trumbull’s flouring and saw mills and turning factory at Canton, lowa, were con sumed by fire, on the 19th instant. Loss, $30,000 Parties arriving from the plains repre sent the recent cold weather as very severe, causing the loss of some stock and consid erable suffering. On tlie night of the lotli inst, the Smith sonian Hotel at Smith City, Missouri; was burned. The house was built by the Pacif ic Railroad Company. The loss is estimat ed at $20,000. A fire broke out at Stillwater, Minn., December 20tli, in the American saloon on Main street, destroying twelve buildings and involving a loss of $25,000, upon which there was but an insurance of SI,OOO. A young man in Douglas county, Mis souri, last week, lit liis pipe and threw the burning match carelessly aside, so that it fell into an open keg of powder. Two per sons were fatally injured by the explosion, and the house blown up. An escaped convict named Wilson was caught on the 24th near Joliet, Illinois. While moving some hay in a stack where he was concealed, the fork pierced through his face. Tlie bleeding wretch was con veyed back to the Penitentiary, heavily ironed. Melanchton Smith, an employee in the St. Anthony paper mill, fell into a vat of boiling lime water, on Saturday, the 22nd. His shrieks brought relief to his assistance, but when taken out his skin, and a portion of his flesh came oft' and he died shortly afterwards. The Eagle iron works and .shops adjoin ing, the repair shop of the Milwaukee and Prairie du Cliien Railroad, the railroad restaurant, and part of Johnson & Co.’s lumber yard, were burned at Milwaukee on the 28th. Loss $50,000; insurance $25,- 000. A terrible massacre occurred, on the 22d, near Fort Phil. Kearney. Brevet Colonel Fetternan, Captain Brown, and Lieutenant Grammond, of the 18th Infantry with 90 enlisted men of the 2d Cavalry and the 18th Infantry, were surrounded by Indians, and every officer and man killed. In a drunken spree at Yorktown, Dela ware Countj r , Ind., a few days ago, two young men beat the barkeeper of the only saloon in town nearly to death, and then threw all his liquors, bottles, etc., into tlie street. After this they fought each other, one of them using a knife, inflicting sixteen severe cuts upon the body of the other. The wounded man will die. The family of Frank Cr.lv er, on Green Lake prairie, near Ripon, Wisconsin, con sisting of himself, wife, a gentleman from Michigan and a hired man, were poisoned on Christmas evening by drinking tea with strychnine in it. They were all still alive at 8 o’clock in the evening on the 2Glh. An Italian man who has been cooking for them is suspected, as he was discharged some days ago. A terrible tragedy occurred in New Ulm, Minnesota, on Christmas day. In a dispute John Spinner was stabbed and bled to death. Two Mankato men, Alexander Campbell and George Liscomb being to gether, were arrested and handcuffed by the Sheriff' for tlie deed. While being taken to jail, a drunken mob rescued them, beat them terribly and hung them both. The affair has caused great excitement in Mankato, both men being respectable and of good standing heretofore. The Fast. The new post office in New York is to be in the lower City Hall Park. A train of nine cars, heavily laden with petroleum, on the Eric Railroad, caught fire at Cuba on the 29th, destroying the cars and oil. The Postofflce of Elizabeth, N. J., was robbed on Monday morning, the 23d, of all its most valuable contents. No clue to the perpetrators yet. Mr. Scranton, President of the New Haven Railroad, slijtped from a platform, at Norwalk, Connecticut, on the 29tli, and was almost instantly killed, the cars pass ing over his hips. The steamer Commodore, one of the old Long Island Sound boats, went ashore near Greenport, Long Island, during the gale of the 28tli. The passengers were, by great exertion, brought to the shore in life boats, soon after which the steamer went to pieces. Emil Just, a broker, residing on Thirty fourth street, New York, was awakened on tire morning of the 24th inst., by a noise, and, on opening his bedroom door, was fired at by some person unknown, who es caped. The wound which took effect in the breast, proved fatal. The assassin is supposed to have been a concealed burglar. Chief Justice Beesley, of New Jersey, was very severe upon legislative bribery, in administering the sentence upon Mr. Rich, the member of the last Legislature convicted of bribery, and the sentence is imprisonment in the State prison for one year, and to be forever after disqualified from holding any office or trust in the State. The SouJli. At Memphis, on Monday evening, an in teresting little girl, thirteen years of age, was instantly killed by the accidental dis charge of a pistol in the hands of a com panion. Judge Yerger, of Mississippi, has decided that contracts between Southern citizens for furnishing substitutes duriDg the war are valid, and that payment of notes given for such purpose maj r still be enforced. Four negroes, convicted of larceny, were sold at auction in Annapolis, Maryland, on the 22d inst. The first negro hid rpott , self, and was knocked flrnvn Nm.ny.u 1 ' the small sum of thyty-seven doll Another was sold lor fdrty-fivc doth and the remaining two sd.d at a like sut The Sheriff conducting the sale was oi dered under arrest soon after the trans action. An act has been passed by die Georgia Legislature, and signed by tlie Governor, providing that all property of the wife at | the time of her marriage, whether real or personal, shall be and remain her separate property; and that all property given to, inherited or acquired by the wife daring coverture, shall vest in and belong and shall not be liable for the payment of any debt, default, or contract of the- hus band. A terrible conflagration broke out- at Vicksburg about eight o’clock on Sunday evening, the 23d, and continued its ravages, until morning. Over a hundred buildings were burned, of which thirty-eight yqy brick stores. Twelve persons lost trus lives, of whom two White children nit ionr negroes perished in the flames. Sa negroes were killed by accident, and orfi hundred families rendered houseless. Fivs or six buildings were, blown up to an-yj£ the progress of the flames. The total loss is roughly estimated at about two mi 11 ioSi about one-fourth insured. Tlie Newspaper Business. < The Janesviille Qazette lias a Jong artieSjY under the above head from which we clip the following: ® i “Another class of well meaning bfct thoughtless persons regard a newspaper q$ a sort of benevolent enterprise, gotten nfp by some liberal minded gent. 1 ;man for tlfli sole purpose of doing all the good possible, and who have selected (lie jmllion-tongpfip press to accomplish it. They are' tlf® regular poachers upon the press—men who always want their favors inserted gratuii*P °usly and are always ready to inform tIM, publisher that lie is engaged in publishing; a newspaper, and they are always sure to have something of a business nature tin# they believe to be good news which ouulfc. to be given to the eager public at onJB One man lias just patented anew heating ] apparatus that will save half the fuel nrJM used, and of course if will be a great fov<9 to tlie poor if the will just tell tp people/m of charge , where such an am paratus can be bought. A man engagqE. in the manufacture of headers, recently sent us a communication of two column* solid matter, setting forth the saving his machine would be to farmers over the com mon reaper, which lie wished inserted gratis, because it would be helping thefa&' mere, don’t you see ? Then there are numberless organizations and associations of individual's that are clamorous for a free ride in the publisher’s wagon. The different religions denomin ations want all their notices of meetings, 1 conventions and festivals published free, first, because they are too poor to pay, and second, because they are engaged in doing good and it is tlie business of publishers to help on the noble work. Firemen get no pay for watching tlie property of citizens, and must liave*the!r little notices of elec? tions, meetings, Ac., given them pro boro publico. Tlie temperance organizations are busy in the noblest work that, can engage the effort of men—that of uplifting the fal len and ruined of our race. Can any editjr or who has one drop of tlie milk of human kindness anywhere about him, be so nig gardly as to refuse to print their notice* \ of meetings, lectures, society meetings anti the like, without pay ? The literary socie ties sometimes engage a lecturer who dot s not draw, and the publisher is asked to dis count on their bill Because they hat e failed in their efforts to please and edify the pub lic. John Doe takes a weekly paper tor which he pays two dollars a year and gets five dollars worth of reading. ' His wife an#, he asks tlie editor to print an obituary 4 notice that costs at least two dollars to geS it put in type. —John might as consistently ask the undertaker who furnished the coff? fin for liis poor wife to throw in a smalfe one for his youngest child} simply becausdf he was a patron of his, as to ask such, favors of a newspaper without pay. A man is nominated for office, and mighty mean men get into office out west some- ' times, and lie expects the editor to put the?, best possible face on his fitness for the po sition, whitewash his character, print his tickets and vote them too, all for the good; of the cause and the success of correct principles. We beg all whom it may concern to re member that no good newspaper can bo made without it has the whole time and industry of all those engaged on it, and its expenses are comparatively larger in pro portion to its gross receipts than almost any other sort of business. If vpu read a paper, pay for it, if you need Its facilities for getting your business before the public and increasing your trade, pay for that but don’t sponge. ■ • Temperance Orators A Sag* gestion. To make an audience latigli seems to he the main object of many of the initerant lecturers who have entered the list against intemperance. Funny stories, going to show that indulgence in strong potations engen ders wit and humor, and leads to ludicrous adventures, are the principal staple of halt the discourses delivered ostensibly in the interest of temperance. The tendency of such harangues is bad. They are more likely to make a man in love with inebriety than to inspire him with a horror of it; but there is a popular element in them and they pay. Just as urchins make merry over the vagaries of a drunkard in the street, children of a larger growth chuckle over the absurdities of inebriety as illustrated by facetious temperance lecturers. No sot will ever be rescued from degradation by presenting to him the comic phases of the vice that is destroying liim; nor w ill any man who has not yet fallen into the slough of dissipation be saved from it by calling his attention to the grotesque sayings and doings of beings already wallowing in its mire. One of the most effective arguments in favor of total abstinence from intoxicating drinks is their universal and horrible adul teration. Never before has what is called “ doctoring ” of liquors and wines been practised to the same dangerous extent that it is now. Let any temperance lectur er who wishes to create a profound sensa tion in the public mind obtain samples of the distilled and fermented liquors sold, and have them analyzed by competent chemists. Let him exhibit to his audience the pro portions of deadly poison which the un erring processes of science prove them to contain, and he can hardly fail to startle, the moderate drinker and make the drunk ard shudder. The fact is that under exist ing revenue laws no man can make a living by selling spiritous beverages unless he mixes the product of.the still at least half and half with poison more or less diluted. Vile essences and essential oils, other, vit riol, and strychnine are mingled, with the water used to increase the quantity of the liquor- Thus is the stuff imbibed at every bar fired and flavored. Tlie worst liquor retailed in New York ten years ago was not as pernicious as th#t now sold jn what are called “respectable barrooms.” Let this fact be demonstrated (as it easily may be) and urged upon the attention of the public by the apostles of temperance. It will surely have a more beneficial effect than the jocular anecdotes with which many of them endeavor to amuse their hearers.