T fT TRAIN.
BY W. A. cnpFFUT.
With lungs of iron and wings of flame.
With nerves and sinews of quivering steel,
With ribs of brass and giant* frame.
He outtrns the earth with an angry heel.
the midnight black
His cvebalis glare.
With a ghastly starts
On the stalled track.
And he ii Qtf.itis voice with a scream of pain;
O, a mbwytcr. grim, is the Lightning Train.
The let£rdl fflls of a milk-white steed
'i'lm carried Mohammed from earth to heaven;
As swift as a Hash of light her speed,
Aniry*-wW"T wings to her feet were given.
"Each leap-was a- far
As the bve htrth sight.
- - Ahrt each hoof as bright
< A* a blazing star;
And a ?l-an like a trail a comet yields,
As Jlijrak bjft iu the rosy, tie Ida.
A wondwftii arrowAvas that of old
That Itore Saint Vljuris through the land;
It Htt. feathered with light and barbed with gold,
And sped by the touch of Apollo’s hand.
With a sibilant song
' * Idt cleft the cloud,
,j That shouted aloud
. Ait it passed along;
And ihe aea never saw, from its throbbing tide,
A vision s* rare as the Prophet's ride 1
tt: y i
The Saltan a cap and magical wand
Bore Fortunatns to isles remote;
The talisman took him to every land
A tick to every sky iu its airy boat,
. But the gleaming shaft
Prom the archer's arm,
. Aladdin's charm.
And the phantom craft,
And the steed that skimmed the azure plain,
Are all combined in the flying train.
it devours'the forest and drinks ttie lake.
Then plunges d-nvu the wide ravines
With the wealth of the world on its burdened back.
A sooty juaij from the saddle leans,
And a murky wreath
ittwiaws emit
, As he tightens the bit
Xn tite dragon's tenth,
And lys cheek is swept by its flery mane,
O, Vmoustes, grim, is tite Lightning Train !
—yeiv York Tribune.
n A sostn STRAIT.
“We 'must have a lemon or two, Sam,”
she says; and so, though I'd just set down
to my pipe anti drop of beer, I got up
again and I says, “Now, I tell you what it
is lass, it’s just two miles to the town, and
it snows like fury, so if you can think of
anything else you want, just say so, and
I'll gftYt the same time.”
“(>, *t isn’t worth while to go if it
snows,” she says; “never mind, and I’ll
make shift without. But 0!” she cried,
all at once, “father’s coming to-morrow,
and you’ve no tobacco.”
Well, I’d never thought about that, for
when I’d had my lingers in tlie little jar,
there seemed enough even if next day
was Christmas day ; but with company —
why, tlie re would not be half enough. So
that settled it, and I got my stick and hat;
. when Polly declared I could’nt go out a
night like that without something round
my neck, so she tied a comforter round
twice, close ip to my nose and cars.
“Now, don’t, be silly, Sam,” she says.
“Why, wot’s silly,” I says.
“Why, your being such an old goose,
and making so much fuss after being mar
ried all these months. Now, let go, do,”
she says. But I didn’t, of course, but held
her for just a few moments while I looked
down in her laughing eyes that seemed to
have grown brighter since we’d married;
and then I smoothed, —no, I didn’t, for no
hair could have been smoother, —1 passed
my rough chopped-about old hand down
the bright shiny hair that I felt so proud
of, and then kissed both her pink cheeks,
and felt somehow half glad, half sorrow
ful, for it seemed to me that I was too
happy for it to last.
“There, now,” she says, at last, “make
haste, there’s a dear, good boy! and get
back; perhaps I shall be done by that
time, and then we’ll have a snug bit of
supper.”
But! couldn’t get, away, somehow, but
watched her busy fingers getting ready the
things for the next day’s dinner, —chop-
ping suet, - stoning plums, mincing peel,—
and all in such a nice, neat, clean way, that
it was quite enjoyable.
“Now,, do go, Sam,” she says, pretending
to pout, ‘‘for I do want you back so bad.
So I made a start of it; unlatched the
door, when tlie wind came roaring in, la
den with Hakes of snow; the sparks rushed
up the chimney, the candle flickered, while
Polly gave me just one bright look and
nod, and then I shut the door. -But, there
—I couldn’t get away even then, but went
and stood by tlie window a minute, where
tlie little branches of holly were stuck,
glistening green, and with scarlet berries
amongst the prickly leaves; and there I
stood looking in at tlie snug, bright, warm
kitchen, with Polly making it look ten
times more warm and bright. It wasn’t
that it was a handsome place, or well fur
nished,- —for those sort of things don't al
ways make a happy home, —but plain,
humble, and poor as* it was, it seemed to
me like a palace; and after watching my
lass for a few minutes as she was busier
than ever, —now frowning, now making a
little face at her work, —now with a bright
light in her eye, as something seemed to
please her, —1 all at once thought to my
self, 4 and, what’s more I says to myself,
“Sam Darrell,” I says, “why, what a don
key you are, not to get what you want,
and make haste back!” which, when you
consider that it was snowing hard, blowing
harder, and that where I stood the snow
drift was over my knees, while inside there
was everything a reasonable workingman
could wish for, you’ll say was just about
the truth.
Sol gives myself a pull together, hitches
up my shoulders, sets my head down to
face the wind and the blinding snow, and
then with my hands right at the bottom of
my pockets, oft' I goes.
Now, we’d been together into the town
that night to bring home a good basketful
of Christmas cheer; for even if you do
live in the black country amongst the coal
mines and furnaces, and work as pit car
penter at making brattices and the ilifter
ent wood work wanted, that’s no reason
why you shouldn’t spend a merry Christ
mas and a happy one. But now there was
his tobacco and the lemons to get; and
from where we lived, right across the
heath to the town being two miles and me
being alone, 1 made up my mind to out
oft" a corner, so as to get back sooner. So
1 turned out of the road as soon as I was
out of the colliery Village, makes sure of
the town lights, and then taking my stick
under my arm, set off at a trot to the left
of the old pits.
The wind was behind me now, and
though the snow made it hard work walk
ing, 1 wasn’t long before I was trudging
like a white statty right through the town
street then thronged with people, when I
goes into a shop and after a good deal of
waiting gets my lemons and tobacco, pays
for ’em „ad starts off home.
A a soon as L was out of the town again,
I gets out of the road to take that short
cut; and now I began to find out what
kind of a night it was; for the wind Jsvas
right dead in my teeth, while the way in
which the snow cut into your eyes was
something terrible. But I fought iny way
on, setting up an opposition whistle to the
wind ana thinking about the warm fire
side at home with the snug supper table ;
and then I thought of what a blessing it
was in a hard winter to live close to the
pit’s mouth and plenty of coal for next to
nothing. We could ’ afford a good tire
there, such as would cheer the heart of
the London poor, while wages w ere not so
bad.
Every now and then I had to stop and
kick the snow oil' my boot soles, for it col
lected in hard balls so as to make walking
harder; then, not having the town lights
to guide me, I found lil wandered a bit
out of the track so that the ground grew
rougher and rougher, and more than once
I stumbled. The wind heat worse than
ever; the snow so blinded me that I could
not look out for the lights of the village, and
at last I began to think that I’d done a
foolish thing in trying to make a shortcut.
But then one is always slow about owning
to toeing in the wrong; so 1 blundered and
stumbled on; but at last, after walking for
some time, I was obliged to own to myself
that I was lost in the snow.
“Stuff and nonsense!” I says the next
minute, and then 1 has a look round to try
and make out where I was, for i knew
every foot of it almost; but nothing could
I set* but snow falling almost like in a sheet
all round me, so that I could only sec a
few feet each way, while the snow where
1 stood was nearly up to my knee.-. I listened
but there was nothing to be heard but the
whistling of the wind ; I shouted but the
cry sounded muffled and close just as if x
had been in a cupboard; then I walked, and
walked a little one way, and then turned
and went another; and at last to my hor
ror I found that I was regularly confused
and could not make out in which direction
lay town or village, while the snow cov
ered in every footmark in a very few min-
utes.
Now I did not feel alarmed, only both
ered and confused; I felt sure that if I
kept on walking I must come to some
place or another which I knew, unless I
walked right out on the great waste, where
I might go for miles without finding a
house; but I was hardly likely to get there
and the thing I most cared for was my poor
gal at home gettiug upset about me and
thinking that I’d stopped in the town
drinking with some mates, being Christ
mas eve, when I’d promised her over and
over again most faithfully that I’d always
ha've my drop of beer at home.
“There’s no danger, that’s one comfort,”
I said, “unless I run bang into the canal;
and even then I shall know where I am,”
I says, “so that won’t be such a serious
matter”; and then 1 tried again to make
out where I was, but tlie snow came down
more than ever; and at last feeling wor
ried and cross, I started oft' afresh as hard
as I could go, when all at once I let go of
my stick for I felt one foot slipping, and as
I felt it go a fearful thought came across
my mind. With an agonized cry I tried to
recover myself, hut from leaning forward
to face to the wind this was impossible, and
then shrieking out —
“My God it’s the old pit!” I was falling
and rolling down —down into the black
darkness.
It was like being in some horrible dream
and for a moment I fancied it might be;
but no, there I was falling faster and faster
for a length of time that seemed without
end, as I waited for the coming crash when
I reached the bottom —to be found after
wards a mutilated corpse.
I thought all this and much more as I
fell down the sloping shaft of the old pit,
and then came a tremendous splash as. I
was plunged down beneath the icy water
which roared and thundered in my ears.
I had been down pit after pit in my time
working in the shafts at the wood casing,
making new or repairing the old, perhaps
half way down, hanging in a cage, or I had
been working at the traps and doors in the
most dangerous parts where you might
hear the gas hissing through between the
seams of black slaty shale; but 1 never be
fore knew so a hideous a sense of fear as
came over me when rising to the surface
of the water. I struck out as if by in
stinct for the side, and then clinging to the
roughened wall with one hand, and with
the other thrust into a sort of hole, I re
mained for a few seconds panting and half
mad, up to my neck in the cold water,
while the darkness was terrible.
It is impossible to describe the horrible
thoughts that came hurrying through my
mind as if to unnerve me, —thoughts of
foul choking gases, of fearful things swim
ming about in the black water, or of hor
rid monsters lurking in its terrible depths
ready to drag me under and drown me;
but xvorse still, as I began to recover my
self a little, were the calyier thoughts of
the length of time I could hold on there
without becoming numbed, and then slip
ping off and drowning. I shouted, and the
sound went echoing up the shaft with a
horrible unearthly * tone that made me
tremble. 1 cried again and again until I
was hoarse, but knew all the while that it
was useless, for there was not a cottage for
at least a mile, and then terror seemed to
get the better of me as I felt that there in
the midst of that fearful darkness 1 must
drown and then sink to the bottom of this
old, old, worn-out coal-pit; while no one,
not even my poor wife, would know of my
fate.
With the thoughts of my wife, came
thoughts of the pleasant scene I had so
lately gazed upon, when something almost
like a sob seemed to come from my heart,
and then came weak despairing tears; but
I roused up and shouted again and again,
throwing my head back to try and see the
mouth of the pit, but though imagination
peopled the darkness with horrors, there
was nothing around but the intense black
ness ; while, to add to my despair and ter
ror, I could feel that my hands were slowly,
slipping from their hold.
Could any man have heard me down
there, two hundred feet below the mouth,
it must have been very fearful, tor during
the next minute I was shrieking for aid,
giving vent to the most unearthly yells,
praying aloud and crying for mercy ; and
then hoarse and worn out I felt that I must
sink back, and I did, shrieking and strug
gling savagely for life till the cold water
gurgled over my mouth and choked back
my cry. Then for a few minutes I was
beating the water frantically as a dog beats
it when it cannot swbn; but my nerve
seemed to come once more, and even then,
in the midst of that horror and despair, I
could not help thinking of myself as being
like a rat in a well as I swam round by the
side trying to find a place to hold on by.
I swam slowly along striking my right
hand against the side at every stroke, but
after a few strokes it did not touch any
thing, aud then st riking out more boldly I
swam on turning to the right with a ray of
hope in my heart, for I knew that I was on
the level of one of the old veins, and
though swimming farther into the bowels
of the earth, yet I had not the horrible
depth of the shaft under me, while I knew
that before long I should And bottom for
my feet.
All at once my hand touched the side ;
then I raised one up and could touch the
roof; and then after a few more strokes I
let my feet down slowly and found the bot
tom, but the water was to my lip; still by
swimming and wading I stood where it was
only to my middle; and now pausing to
rest for awhile, I leaned up against the side
and in the reaction that came on again
cried weakly and like the dcspairing'wretch
I was.
By degrees the heavy panting of my
heart grew less painful, while heated with
the exertion L did not feel cold; but soon
an icy chill crept over me as I stood there
listening to the low echoing “drip, drip,
drip” of the water far away to my right.
Racking thoughts too oppressed me, and
despairing, I felt that there was no chance
of my being discovered, since ,to keep alive
I must penetrate farther into the mine,
though oven from where I was then it was
doubtful whether my voice could be heard.
I knew very well where I was and that
very little traffic lay at the old pit’s mouth,
while the next day being Christinas made
the chances less. But would not my wife
give the alarm and would not there be a
Bareli ? Surely, I thought, there must he
hope yet; and then in a disconnected half
wild way I tried to offer up a prayer for
succor. * Not standing—not with my hand
resting upon the wall—but kneeling, with
the water rising to my neck and I rose again
stronger and better able to think.
And now I began to look within and to
think of the dangers I had to encounter.
As to there being things swimming about
or anything terrible to attack me, my com
mon sense told me that there was no cause
for fear in that direction; but the next
thought was a terrible one, and my breath
came thicker and shorter as I seemed to
feel the effect of it already—“ Was there
any foul gas?” But I found that I could
still breathe freely, and by degrees this fear
Went off; while, summoning up my cour
age, I waded on “splash-splash” in the
echoing darkness, farther and farther into
the mine, always with the water growing
shallower and shallower as I receded from
the shaft; and at last I stood upon the dry
bottom, but with the water streaming oil
me.
The place did not feel cold, while as I sat
down I could not but wish tha; my clothes
were dry, for they clung to nie till I
stripped a part of them off and wrung out
the water, when I felt on putting them on
again comparatively warm. But what a
position! Trembling there in the midst of
that thick darkness, with a wild imagina
tion peopling it with every imaginary hor
ror, I lay despairing, till, with the thought
strong upon me that I was buried alive, I
began to* run recklessly about, now dash
ing myself violently against the sides, now
tripping over the fragments that had fallen
from the roof, till at last the splashing
water beneath my feet warned me to go
back, when, with my head feeling almost
on fire, I crawled back to lie panting
amongst the coal and slate.
All at once I recollected the tobacco, and
put a piece in-my mouth, and after a time
it seemed to calm me so that I could sit
and think, though at times I would have
given worlds to have run away from my
thoughts. How time went i could not
tell; but it seemed after a while that I
must have slept for I leapt up all at once
pith the fancy strong^upon me that I heard
Folly calling; but though I strained my
ears to listen, there was nothing but the
“ drip, drip” of the water; while I feared
to call out, for the sound went echoing
along, so that seemed to be repeated again
and again till I felt to creep with dread.
Many hours must have passed, for a
heavy, dull, sleepy feeling oppressed me as
I lay there, numbed bodily and in mind ;
but at length I started up thoroughly
awake, feeling certain that I had heard a
cry which seemed to have whispered like
in my ear. I sat up trembling, when again
there came the shout faintly heard as it
came along the top of the water, and then
I gave a loud despairing shriek for nelp
three times and then fainted.
When J came to again, it seemed like
waking from a dream; and I felt that con
fused that I could hardly believe that I
was not in my own room at home; but as
I sat up, the thought of where I was came
upon me again, while like a faint, buzzing,
whispering noise, I could-hear voices. To
rouse up and give a tremendous shout was
but the work of a moment, when my heart
rose, for it was answered, though but faint
ly, and I knew that I was being sought for,
and sat listening.
But soon I grew impatient and began
wading into tlie water, so as to be once
more nearer to living creatures; and I
waded on and on till the water was up to
my chin and 1 could hardly stand, when I
shouted again, and now I could hear the
reply quite plainly.
After a while I saw a faint light flash
along the wall, and knew that a piece of
something burning had been cast down the
nit; and then again and again I saw simi
lar flashes, while I stood there trembling
lest I should sink from exhaustion and be
drowned; But now something far more
reviving came, for, like a star shining along
the water, I could see the light of a lantern
that had been lowered down, as it swung
slowly about at the mouth of the passage;
while at length close by it I saw something
move, when I felt choking, as I knew that
a man had been lowered down, and was
swinging beside the lantern;, while, when
his voice came ringing along the passage
with a cheery “Where are you, mate?”
for a few moments my head swam, and I
couldn’t answer.
“ Can’t, you get to me ?” he says, after I
had answered.
“ No!” I says, “ I daren’t try to swim
it.”
“Then I must,” he says; and then.he
shouted out “ Slack out,” and an echoing
splash came along to my cars. “ How far
is it?” lie says.
“ About sixty yards,” I gasjjed; and then
he stopped and called out to me to keep up
my heart, and lie would soon be hack;
when shouting to those above, he was
drawn up once more, and it seemed hours
before I heard the sound of his voice again;
and, directly, after, I could see the lantern
coining towards me, and then I’ve a recol
lection of seeing someone with a light
splashing about m the water, and of hav
ing something tied under my arms which
floated me up till I was quashed along to
tlie mouth of the jiassage, where Lean re
collect clinging to the rope made fast round
me; and then I was swinging about and
knocking against the rough sides of the
shaft, while a voice at my ear kept saying,
“ Cheer up, matey!” Then in a sort of
sleej) I heard people talking, and someone
said, “ Here, catch hold of these life belts!”
and it seemed like the voice of the man
who came down to me. But the next thing
I recollect is lying in my own bed, with
someone sitting at thoteide, as she used to
all she could for the next three days ; and
told me, she did at last, of her horror when
I did not come home, and of the search
next day; but there were no footsteps on
the waste on account of the snow, so that
no one would have searched there, had not
a boy been seen with my walking stick,
which he had found sticking up in tlie snow
by the old pit’s mouth, just as I must have
left it when I fell into the fearful gulf
which held me for two long days!
MISCEIiIiAIVEOtTS ITEMS.
—The “ Ragamuffins ” is the name of a club just
organized in Norfolk, Va.
—A young man shot his sister in Philadelphia,
recently, for refusing to leave a house of ill fame.
—The Leland brothers have leased the Delaven
House at Albany for ten years, at a rent of $52,000
a year.
—One hundred and sixteen members of Congress
have their wives, daughters, or other ladies with
them at Washington this season.
—A young Wisconsin farmer and his bride, driv
ing home just after their marriage, were both
thrown from the wagon and instantly killed.
—A member of a theatrical company playing at
Albion, Nt Y., last week, accidently shot himself
through the baud, shattering it badly. He contin
ued to the end of his part, without betraying to the
audience that he was hurt.
—Capt. A. Boutelie, of Augnst.a Me. .re
covered a watch recently, which was stolen from
him six years ago, in Liverpool, England. He was
in a concert-room at the time it was stolen, and
immediately made the facts known to the detec
tives there, who, after six years, succeeded in find
ing it.
—Henry Knause, residing in Hamburg, Berks
county, Pa., set a gun trap in his smoke house for
the, benefit of some thieves who had stolen his meat.
He forgot that he dad set the trap, and was the first
one to open the door of the smoke house, when the
gun was discharged, and he was almost instantly
killed.
—The American Tract Society has made an ap
peal to its friends for a special subscription of
S'IOO.OOO, to provide an adequate stocks of books, to
be issued and reproduced perpetuallyf One-fourth
of this sum is now needed to provide books and
tracts in the Spanish language, for the 2.000,000 of
Mexico and South America. The appeal has been
received, and nearly $40,000 gave been subscribed
on condition that $50,000 is raised by January Ist,
1807. Thirteen individuals' have subscribed SSOO
each, twelve SIOOO each, one $2,000, one $3,000. one
$5,000, others smaller sums.
—The Polo till.) Presx says that a young gentle
man. a teacher in Ogle County, on account of illness,
engaged a young lady belonging to the family with
which he boarded, to take his place in the school.
She tanirht for him nine days, and it is said she did
the work as well as he had done it. At the close of
the next term he i oceived eighteen dollars for the
nine day's service of the young lady, and then
asked her how much he should pay her. She told
him to pay her what he thought was right. He
handed her five dollars, saying he would pay her
that, •• seeing as how they had done his washing
and ironing during the winter.”
A Hcggarcd Millionaire.
[From the Pittsburgh Commercial, December 21.]
Last week a brief item chronicling the
sale of the Steele Farm on Oil Creek, for
taxes due the Government, started on its
voyage on the sea of newspaperdom. The
paragraph will doubtless be read by many
without a second thought, but those few
lines might easily form the text for a dis
course as lengthy as the moral law. It is
hardly an exaggeration to state that wher
ever petroleum is known, the name of
“Johnny Steele,” the young prince of Ve
nango County, has been heard, while the
accounts of his apparently boundless
. wealth and reelfless expenditures, were
told in hundreds of pages. Soon after the
sale of the farm, the closing act, a brief his
tory of the same may not be entirely with
out interest, which the Crawford Journal
thus narrates:
The farm more generally known “on the
creek” as the widow MeClintoek farm, is
immediately opposite the flourishing little
town of Rouseville, and was among the
lirst of the oil producing wells of the val
ley. Early in 1860 the Van Slj'ke well on
this farm was struck, and flowed for some
time at the rate of 2,500 barrels per day,
and several wells, yielding from 200 to 800
barrels, were struck at subsequent periods.
Besides these there were many small wells,
and the territory, though sadly misman
aged, is still considered as among the best
in the oil region. In 1864 widow McClin
tock died from the effects of burns received
while kindling a tiro from crude oil. At
his time tlie average daily income from the
added estate of the farm was $2,000, and
by her will the property with all her pos
sessions in money* was left, without reser
vation, to her adopted son, John W. Steele,
then about twenty years of age. In the
iron safe, where the old lady kept her mo
ney, was found $150,000, two thirds of the
amount in greenbacks and the balance in
gold. Mrs. MeClintoek was hardly cold in
her coffin before young Steele, who ap
pears to have had nothing naturally vicious
in his composition was surrounded l)y r a set
of vampyres, who clung to him as long as
he had a dollar remaining. The young mil
lionaire's head was evidently turned by his
good fortune, as lias been that of many an
older man who made his “pile in oil,” and
he was of the impression that his money
would accumulate rapidly unless it was ac
tually thrown away, and throw it away lie
did. Many of the stories concerning his
career in New York and Philadelphia savor
strongly of fiction, and would not be cred
ited, were they not so well authenticated.
Wine, women, horses, faro, and general de
bauchery made a wreck of that princely
fortune, and in twenty months Johnny
Steele squandered two millions of dol
lars. Hon. Jno. Morrissey, M. C., “went
through” him at faro to the amount of
$100,600 in two nights; he bought high
priced turn outs, and after driving them an
hour or two gave them away; equipped a
large minstrel troupe, and presented each
member with a diamond pin and ring, and
kept about him besides, two or three men
who were robbing him day after day. He
is now filling the honorable position of
doorkeeper for Skiff & Gaylord’s minstrels
the company he organized, and is, to use a
very expressive but net strictly classical
phrase, completely “played out.”
Souse anti Nonsense.
——Beer fills many a bottle, the bottle
fills many a bier.
Punch's advice how to kill time—
shoot every flay.
Why is John Morrissey like the Red
Sea? Because he is death on Faro.
Times are so hard it is suggested
that pantaloons may as well be made Without
pockets.
Queer thing is an insurance policy.
If I can’t sell it, I can-cel it, aud if I cau-cel it,* I
can’t sell it.
Artemus Ward thinks the great year
ly fall of rain in England may be owing to the fact
that the country lias a monarchical form of govern
ment.
A hop on the “ light fantastic toe”
! may be pleasant, but not when you hop on the fan
tastic toe of your neighbor.
An unctious little paper published
in the petroleum regions has for its motto: “Prove
oil things; hold fast that which is good.’’
A haunted house is a tenement of
any number of haunted stories, to which is added
an extraordinary one, in the form of a ghost story.
cried a stump orator. “ No!” cried his shoemaker,
“ you stand m a pair of shoes that have never been
paid for.”
An old miser, having listened to a
very eloquent discourse on charity, remarked,
“That sermon so strongly proves the necessity of
almsgiving that I’ve almost a mind to beg."
Smith?” demanded Mr. Jones. “ Home, sir, home;
don’t detain me; I have just bought my wife anew
bonnet, aud I must deliver it before the fashion
changes.”
man of a priest who was given to secular pursuits
on the Lord’s day, “ sure, an’ that mon is a mighty
sinner, is he—for it’s meself that has seen him break,
the Sabbath every day of his life."
A man was lately invited to a dinner,
and a dish of ice cream was placed before him. It
was anew dish to him. He tasted it, then, beckon
ing to the waiter, said audibly, “ that’s very good
padding, but do you know its froze?”
office, advertises for “ a till clerk who is handsome
ami a rapid penman; salary, $250. Address in own
hand writing.” This gentleman evidently believes
that “ a thing of beauty is a joy forever.”
“John,” said a careful father, “don’t
give Cousin William's horses too many oats— you
know- they have hay." “ Yes, sir,” said John, mov
ing toward the barn. “And hark ye, Jfhn; don’t
give them too much hay , you know they have
oats."
When the Irish priest rebuked his
parishioner for drunkenness and told him that
•■whenever he entered an alehouse to drink, his
guardian angel stood weeping at the door.” “And
if lie had sixpence he’d ho in himself,” was Pat’s
reply.
mother to her hopeful son, just budded into’
breeches, “Charlie, my dear, come here and get
some candy.” “I guess I wont mind it now,
mother,” replied Charlie; “I’ve got in some to
bacco.”
A correspondent of the London
Journal treats at some length on the best way to
prevent hydrophobia. A wag, in reply, suggests that
he once prevented a case of this dreadful malady
by getting on a fourteen rail fence and staying until
the “ dog” left.
Little Jimmie, only about ten years
old, was standing on the steps of his father’s store.
smoking a cigar. A gentleman passing, asked him
with surprise. “Why, Jim? when did you learn to
smoke?” “Oh,” says the child, very coolly, taking
his cigar between bis fingers, “ when I was a little
feller.”
A certain judge was reprimanding
an attorney for bringing several small suits into
court, and remarked that it would have been much
better for all parties had he persuaded his diems to
leave his cause to the arbitration of honest, men.
“ Please your honor,” retorted the lawyer, “we did
not choose to trouble honest men with them.” The
judge fainted.
A writer at Cjnb Orchard Springs,
Kentucky, gives the following: “Passing the draw
ing room", last evening, m.v attention was attracted
to an exceedingly corpulent young lady, visiting the
Springs for her health. She was seated at the piano,
aud singing. ■ I)o they miss Me at Home ?’ I thought
they did—about meal time.”
Two students meeting on the road
with a hostler, they fell to bantering him, and told
the fellow they would prove him to be a horse or an
ass. “Well,” said the hostler, “I can prove your
saddle to be a mule.” “A mule!” cried one of
them. •• llow can that be?” “ Because,” said the
hostler, “it is something between an ass and a
horse.”
A Dutchman had two pigs—a large
ore and a small one. The. smaller one being the
elder, be was Irving to explain" to a customer, and
he did if in this" wise: “ The little pig is the pig
gest.” Upon which his wife, assuming to correct
him. said: “ You will excuse him; he no speak as
good English as me: he no mean that the little pig
is the piggest, but the youngest pig is the oldest.
A new way of keeping warm has
been put in practice, and with good effect. It is to
have a buckwheat cake made large enough to cover
the bed. like a quilt, and spread over it -piping
hot” about the time of retiring. When made of
proper thickness, it retains the heat until mornin;
and then, if a person is too lazy to get up. he can
make a very good breakfast by eating off the edges
as he lies.
A gentleman called on a rich miser,
and found him at the table endeavoring to catch a
fly. Presently he succeeded jn entrapping one,
which he immediately put intothe sugar bowl and
shut down the cover. The gentleman asked for an
explanation of this singular sport. "I’ll tell you.”
replied the miser, a triumphant grin overspreading
his countenance as he spoke; “I want to ascertain
if my servants steal the sugar.”
SOIMARY OF IIIF WEEK.
General News.
The President has pardoned ex-Governor
Fletcher, of Arkansas, on the recommenda
tion of the Attorney General.
M. Bcrthemy, the new French' Minister,
was formally presented to President John
son at Washington, on Christmas day.
Charles Reade, the English novelist, has
commenced a suit for libel against the edi
tors of the Round Table, of New York.
It is asserted on what is deemed reliable
authority, that no more Government troops
will be ordered South except in case of
actual riot in those States.
The fact is now apparent at Washington
that a large majority of the members of the
House of Representatives are in favor of
Mr. McCulloch’s theory of finance.
It is now said that Dr. Mudd, the assas
sination conspirator, will be released from
bis confinement at the Dry Tortugas, and
brought to Washington, where he will have
anew trial before a civil court.
The Western Union Telegraph Company
have, through the House Committee on
Postoftlccs, tendered the Government the
use of one of its wires to test the experi
ment of a Government telegraphic system.
Tlie Treasury officers have succeeded in
capturing the plate for a counterfeit fifty
dollar legal tender note. The counterfeit
is said to be one of tlie most dangerous and
successful that has been palmed upon the
public since the first issue of national pa
per currency.
Secretary Seward is very much disap
pointed at the result of the Slierman-Camp
bell mission. lie will wait some days be
fore taking any more steps in reference to
Mexican matters. In the meantime Con
gress is nearly a unit against any interfer
ence in the imbroglio, the expenditure of
any money, or the loss of a single soldier
upon that field.
A violent gale, attended with snow, vis
ited the Atlantic coast, extending into the
interior of New York and Canada, on
Thursday mglit, the 27th. Snow to the
depth of twenty inches was reported at Al
bany tlie next morning, resulting in a com
plete suspension of railroad communica
tion, which extended nearly through all
tlie Eastern States. Several trains were
snowed under on the Hudson River and
New York Central railroads, and the storm
is described as tlie most severe that lias
been known since 1835. At Goodrich, C.
W., the snow was reported three feet deep
on a level, and no trains run for three days.
Near Hudson, four passengers cars were
blown from the track. Besides the Com
modore, several vessels wore reported
aground, and it is feared that the loss of
life from shipwreck has been h avy.
The three yachts concluded the famous
race across the Atlantic by arriving at
Cowes, in the Isle of Wight, on the 29th.
Tlie run was made by the Henrietta, Ben
nett’s yacht, in the almost unprecedented
time of thirteen days, twenty-three hours
and fifty-eight minutes, she beating her
rivals a trifle over eight hours. Tlie best
day’s run made by the Henrietta was two
hundred and eighty miles, and the poorest
one hundred and thirteen miles. She made
but one tack during the whole passage.
The vaclit Fleetwing lost four of her crew
during the gale. The Yesta made the trip
without accident. The vessels in the Roads
are everwhere showing tlie Stars and
Stripes alongside the Union Jack, in honor
of the American yacht fleet. J. G. Ben
nett, Jr., of the Henrietta, announces that
he will accept a cliellange from any yacht
on the Eastern side of the Atlantic. The
persons lost from the Fleetwing are Cap
tains Nichols and Ward, and seamen Kelly
and Nelson. They were washed from the
bowsprit on the eighth day out, and sub
scriptions have been started for their fam
ilies.
Foreign Intelligence.
The Emperor of Brazil has liberated one
hundred and fifteen slaves at his own per
sonal expense.
The total amount raised for the relief of
the sufferers by the Quebec fire has reached
nearly a quarter of a million of dollars.
The Chinese Viceroy recently suppressed
a street row in Nankin, by taking off the
heads of fifty-four Chinese soldiers in about
as many minutes.
A French astronomer has just discovered
another planet, making the 91st of the as
teroids, or groups of fragmentary bodies
■whose orbits lie between Mars and Jupiter
The steamer Tasmania, on the passage
between the West Indies and Southampton,
England, had ninety-six cases of yellow
fever on board, twenty-one of which were
fatal.
On Christmas day, the French Emperor
gave a farew r ell audience to Minister Bige
low, to present Gen. Dix, his successor.
Napoleon’s remarks were cordial and
amicable.
Advices from China state that the French
troops liad-captured the city and fortifica
tions of Hong Kong. A destructive fire,
consuming 200 houses, had also occurred
in that city.
In the case of the Fenian Smith, on trial
at Sweetsburg, Canada East, the jury
brought in a verdict of guilty. The Judge
then sentenced Smith to be hanged on the
15th of February.
Details of the colliery explosions in Eng
land have arrived. The explosion at the
Oaks, England, Colliery caused a loss of
346 lives, and by the explosion of a mine in
Staffordshire, 14 lives were lost.
A dispatch from Ilong Kong, China, an
nounces the failure of a French naval ex
pedition sent to Chinese waters to demand
redress for outrages upon missionaries at
Corea. The fleet was beaten off.
The overthrow of the Gov ernment of
Queen Isabella, of Spain, is deemed immi
nent. The spirit of revolution is rampant
and the Emperors of France and Austria
are said to be in accord as to the future
ruler of that Kingdom.
A shocking accident occurred on the 29th
on the Great Western Railroad, near Ko
moka, C. W. An emigrant train going
west ran into the rear end of the Sarnia
train, telescoping the passenger and bag
gage cars, resulting in seriously injuring
four women and eight men, one of the lat
ter, it is thought, fatally.
Late Mexican advices assert that a gen
eral state of insurrection existed at Mata
moras. Escobedo had been put to death j
by Canales. The embarkation of the I
French troops had commenced, and the j
French merchants at Matamoras and other
points were leaving the country as fast as
possible, on account of the entire absence
of protection to their interests.
There are prospects of an interminable
war in South America. Bolivia has con
cluded an alliance with Paraguay, by which
the former agrees to add materially to the
strength of the Paraguayan army, and the
war is to be carried into Brazil. In the
meantime, Peru and Chili have determined
to reject the proposition of France and Eng
land to mediate between them and Spain,
and the war against the latter is to be
prosecuted with vigor.
The Herald's City of Mexico correspon
dent, December 18, says: “The return of
the Emperor to the throne was received
with public rejoicing throughout the coun
try. His army, independent of the French,
numbers 35,000 men, well fed and clothed.
The Imperialists say, if they have no Uni
ted States troops to contend against they
will ultimately succeed. They desire the
withdrawal of the French. They consider
it best for Maximilian.”
Tlie West.
The Northwestern Railroad is completed
to-within fifteen miles of Council Bluffs.
Trumbull’s flouring and saw mills and
turning factory at Canton, lowa, were con
sumed by fire, on the 19th instant. Loss,
$30,000
Parties arriving from the plains repre
sent the recent cold weather as very severe,
causing the loss of some stock and consid
erable suffering.
On tlie night of the lotli inst, the Smith
sonian Hotel at Smith City, Missouri; was
burned. The house was built by the Pacif
ic Railroad Company. The loss is estimat
ed at $20,000.
A fire broke out at Stillwater, Minn.,
December 20tli, in the American saloon on
Main street, destroying twelve buildings
and involving a loss of $25,000, upon which
there was but an insurance of SI,OOO.
A young man in Douglas county, Mis
souri, last week, lit liis pipe and threw the
burning match carelessly aside, so that it
fell into an open keg of powder. Two per
sons were fatally injured by the explosion,
and the house blown up.
An escaped convict named Wilson was
caught on the 24th near Joliet, Illinois.
While moving some hay in a stack where
he was concealed, the fork pierced through
his face. Tlie bleeding wretch was con
veyed back to the Penitentiary, heavily
ironed.
Melanchton Smith, an employee in the
St. Anthony paper mill, fell into a vat of
boiling lime water, on Saturday, the 22nd.
His shrieks brought relief to his assistance,
but when taken out his skin, and a portion
of his flesh came oft' and he died shortly
afterwards.
The Eagle iron works and .shops adjoin
ing, the repair shop of the Milwaukee and
Prairie du Cliien Railroad, the railroad
restaurant, and part of Johnson & Co.’s
lumber yard, were burned at Milwaukee on
the 28th. Loss $50,000; insurance $25,-
000.
A terrible massacre occurred, on the 22d,
near Fort Phil. Kearney. Brevet Colonel
Fetternan, Captain Brown, and Lieutenant
Grammond, of the 18th Infantry with 90
enlisted men of the 2d Cavalry and the
18th Infantry, were surrounded by Indians,
and every officer and man killed.
In a drunken spree at Yorktown, Dela
ware Countj r , Ind., a few days ago, two
young men beat the barkeeper of the only
saloon in town nearly to death, and then
threw all his liquors, bottles, etc., into tlie
street. After this they fought each other,
one of them using a knife, inflicting sixteen
severe cuts upon the body of the other.
The wounded man will die.
The family of Frank Cr.lv er, on Green
Lake prairie, near Ripon, Wisconsin, con
sisting of himself, wife, a gentleman from
Michigan and a hired man, were poisoned
on Christmas evening by drinking tea with
strychnine in it. They were all still alive
at 8 o’clock in the evening on the 2Glh.
An Italian man who has been cooking for
them is suspected, as he was discharged
some days ago.
A terrible tragedy occurred in New Ulm,
Minnesota, on Christmas day. In a dispute
John Spinner was stabbed and bled to
death. Two Mankato men, Alexander
Campbell and George Liscomb being to
gether, were arrested and handcuffed by
the Sheriff' for tlie deed. While being
taken to jail, a drunken mob rescued them,
beat them terribly and hung them both.
The affair has caused great excitement in
Mankato, both men being respectable and
of good standing heretofore.
The Fast.
The new post office in New York is to be
in the lower City Hall Park.
A train of nine cars, heavily laden with
petroleum, on the Eric Railroad, caught
fire at Cuba on the 29th, destroying the cars
and oil.
The Postofflce of Elizabeth, N. J., was
robbed on Monday morning, the 23d, of all
its most valuable contents. No clue to the
perpetrators yet.
Mr. Scranton, President of the New
Haven Railroad, slijtped from a platform,
at Norwalk, Connecticut, on the 29tli, and
was almost instantly killed, the cars pass
ing over his hips.
The steamer Commodore, one of the old
Long Island Sound boats, went ashore near
Greenport, Long Island, during the gale of
the 28tli. The passengers were, by great
exertion, brought to the shore in life boats,
soon after which the steamer went to
pieces.
Emil Just, a broker, residing on Thirty
fourth street, New York, was awakened on
tire morning of the 24th inst., by a noise,
and, on opening his bedroom door, was
fired at by some person unknown, who es
caped. The wound which took effect in
the breast, proved fatal. The assassin is
supposed to have been a concealed burglar.
Chief Justice Beesley, of New Jersey,
was very severe upon legislative bribery,
in administering the sentence upon Mr.
Rich, the member of the last Legislature
convicted of bribery, and the sentence is
imprisonment in the State prison for one
year, and to be forever after disqualified
from holding any office or trust in the
State.
The SouJli.
At Memphis, on Monday evening, an in
teresting little girl, thirteen years of age,
was instantly killed by the accidental dis
charge of a pistol in the hands of a com
panion.
Judge Yerger, of Mississippi, has decided
that contracts between Southern citizens
for furnishing substitutes duriDg the war are
valid, and that payment of notes given for
such purpose maj r still be enforced.
Four negroes, convicted of larceny, were
sold at auction in Annapolis, Maryland, on
the 22d inst. The first negro hid rpott ,
self, and was knocked flrnvn Nm.ny.u 1 '
the small sum of thyty-seven doll
Another was sold lor fdrty-fivc doth
and the remaining two sd.d at a like sut
The Sheriff conducting the sale was oi
dered under arrest soon after the trans
action.
An act has been passed by die Georgia
Legislature, and signed by tlie Governor,
providing that all property of the wife at |
the time of her marriage, whether real or
personal, shall be and remain her separate
property; and that all property given to,
inherited or acquired by the wife daring
coverture, shall vest in and belong
and shall not be liable for the payment of
any debt, default, or contract of the- hus
band.
A terrible conflagration broke out- at
Vicksburg about eight o’clock on Sunday
evening, the 23d, and continued its ravages,
until morning. Over a hundred buildings
were burned, of which thirty-eight yqy
brick stores. Twelve persons lost trus
lives, of whom two White children nit
ionr negroes perished in the flames. Sa
negroes were killed by accident, and orfi
hundred families rendered houseless. Fivs
or six buildings were, blown up to an-yj£
the progress of the flames. The total loss
is roughly estimated at about two mi 11 ioSi
about one-fourth insured.
Tlie Newspaper Business. <
The Janesviille Qazette lias a Jong artieSjY
under the above head from which we clip
the following:
® i
“Another class of well meaning bfct
thoughtless persons regard a newspaper q$
a sort of benevolent enterprise, gotten nfp
by some liberal minded gent. 1 ;man for tlfli
sole purpose of doing all the good possible,
and who have selected (lie jmllion-tongpfip
press to accomplish it. They are' tlf®
regular poachers upon the press—men who
always want their favors inserted gratuii*P
°usly and are always ready to inform tIM,
publisher that lie is engaged in publishing;
a newspaper, and they are always sure to
have something of a business nature tin#
they believe to be good news which ouulfc.
to be given to the eager public at onJB
One man lias just patented anew heating ]
apparatus that will save half the fuel nrJM
used, and of course if will be a great fov<9
to tlie poor if the will just tell tp
people/m of charge , where such an am
paratus can be bought. A man engagqE.
in the manufacture of headers, recently
sent us a communication of two column*
solid matter, setting forth the saving his
machine would be to farmers over the com
mon reaper, which lie wished inserted
gratis, because it would be helping thefa&'
mere, don’t you see ?
Then there are numberless organizations
and associations of individual's that are
clamorous for a free ride in the publisher’s
wagon. The different religions denomin
ations want all their notices of meetings, 1
conventions and festivals published free,
first, because they are too poor to pay, and
second, because they are engaged in doing
good and it is tlie business of publishers to
help on the noble work. Firemen get no
pay for watching tlie property of citizens,
and must liave*the!r little notices of elec?
tions, meetings, Ac., given them pro boro
publico. Tlie temperance organizations are
busy in the noblest work that, can engage
the effort of men—that of uplifting the fal
len and ruined of our race. Can any editjr
or who has one drop of tlie milk of human
kindness anywhere about him, be so nig
gardly as to refuse to print their notice* \
of meetings, lectures, society meetings anti
the like, without pay ? The literary socie
ties sometimes engage a lecturer who dot s
not draw, and the publisher is asked to dis
count on their bill Because they hat e failed
in their efforts to please and edify the pub
lic. John Doe takes a weekly paper tor
which he pays two dollars a year and gets
five dollars worth of reading. ' His wife an#,
he asks tlie editor to print an obituary 4
notice that costs at least two dollars to geS
it put in type. —John might as consistently
ask the undertaker who furnished the coff?
fin for liis poor wife to throw in a smalfe
one for his youngest child} simply becausdf
he was a patron of his, as to ask such,
favors of a newspaper without pay. A
man is nominated for office, and mighty
mean men get into office out west some- '
times, and lie expects the editor to put the?,
best possible face on his fitness for the po
sition, whitewash his character, print his
tickets and vote them too, all for the good;
of the cause and the success of correct
principles.
We beg all whom it may concern to re
member that no good newspaper can bo
made without it has the whole time and
industry of all those engaged on it, and its
expenses are comparatively larger in pro
portion to its gross receipts than almost
any other sort of business. If vpu read a
paper, pay for it, if you need Its facilities
for getting your business before the public
and increasing your trade, pay for that but
don’t sponge.
■ •
Temperance Orators A Sag*
gestion.
To make an audience latigli seems to he
the main object of many of the initerant
lecturers who have entered the list against
intemperance. Funny stories, going to show
that indulgence in strong potations engen
ders wit and humor, and leads to ludicrous
adventures, are the principal staple of halt
the discourses delivered ostensibly in the
interest of temperance. The tendency of
such harangues is bad. They are more
likely to make a man in love with inebriety
than to inspire him with a horror of it;
but there is a popular element in them and
they pay. Just as urchins make merry over
the vagaries of a drunkard in the street,
children of a larger growth chuckle over
the absurdities of inebriety as illustrated by
facetious temperance lecturers. No sot
will ever be rescued from degradation by
presenting to him the comic phases of the
vice that is destroying liim; nor w ill any
man who has not yet fallen into the slough
of dissipation be saved from it by calling
his attention to the grotesque sayings and
doings of beings already wallowing in its
mire.
One of the most effective arguments in
favor of total abstinence from intoxicating
drinks is their universal and horrible adul
teration. Never before has what is called
“ doctoring ” of liquors and wines been
practised to the same dangerous extent
that it is now. Let any temperance lectur
er who wishes to create a profound sensa
tion in the public mind obtain samples of
the distilled and fermented liquors sold, and
have them analyzed by competent chemists.
Let him exhibit to his audience the pro
portions of deadly poison which the un
erring processes of science prove them to
contain, and he can hardly fail to startle,
the moderate drinker and make the drunk
ard shudder. The fact is that under exist
ing revenue laws no man can make a living
by selling spiritous beverages unless he
mixes the product of.the still at least half
and half with poison more or less diluted.
Vile essences and essential oils, other, vit
riol, and strychnine are mingled, with the
water used to increase the quantity of the
liquor- Thus is the stuff imbibed at every
bar fired and flavored. Tlie worst liquor
retailed in New York ten years ago was
not as pernicious as th#t now sold jn what
are called “respectable barrooms.” Let
this fact be demonstrated (as it easily may
be) and urged upon the attention of the
public by the apostles of temperance. It
will surely have a more beneficial effect
than the jocular anecdotes with which
many of them endeavor to amuse their
hearers.