VOL. II.—NO. 1.
The Slave Mart.
Going ! going ! gone !
A ho bids for the mother's care,
Who bids for the blue eyed gill ?
Her skin is fair, and her soft brown hair
Is guiltless of a curl.
The mother clasped her babe
With an arm that love made strong;
She hcav. 1 no sigh, but her burning eye
Told of her spiri’s wrong.
She gazed on the heartless crowd,
Hut no pitying glance she saw,
fur ilie crushing woe, her soul must know
Was sanctioned by the law.
Going! gentlemen! going!
fue child is worth yowr bids,
Here's a bargain to be sold ;
Tiii- chunny thing will some day bring
A pile of yellow gold.
“Ad iilar a pound.” cries a voice,
Hoarsely from out the throng;
Two, three, five it calls, and the hammer falls;
Five dollars, gentlemen, gone!
Fi e dollars a pound—and hi- hand,
.7mst stretched to grasp the elii!d.
Is - nurmi add ■by ti> • giant might
Of a man! ic mother, wild.
• hie moment an 1 the lo.nl-d whip
I • p Dfd above her Imad ;
T ' ;i and jv.ii ii com • upoi h r helpless frame,
!.i!\ ■ a crush in weigh iot lead
Witli a tightened grasp on her kidnapped
bhe fall lo the cold damp g omul: (child,
T.i ; b iby ivis ia don the s'-ah’s and weighed
A.id sold ii no 1 ill.irs a pound.
Vud tli ■ eve uf the sun looks down
l uui n u n! on Siioii seen \s ot sin,
An 1 the free.n-a’s to :g i > mus; be chained and
Tiionau his.-pirii b amt witliia. (dumb.
O’l G n, i .i: :i mill on o; tongues.
To thunder IkeeiionV, name,
And to utter a cry win *h would ; ieree the skv,
The iudigaan! cry of shame !
Our eagle' I 1 i.. ■•!•.* r. and
dVil.li t • i\‘T-ki.>g bio >d ot tbe .-davi
And he k u 1 y tli i r- i;i- aroie - lag wings
O’er la sigh-, o ‘ Free i ..Ys grave.
How long. Id Ford hou lory!
A wale ii tir- m're-, an j might,
Put. hasten the and u which .-’•rill open the vai
To I'm h. an 1 Jus ice a a i night.
Fro: the <7inei onii ' .:•> lirer, Dec i2.
A DR ei urn at Comedy ci' Errors.
Sor.v lid) -i !!*c, ;i vunny couple,
wh“ I. till itewl , f .aned hymemal vest
ments. c i:ue iron; tie. tc honna uleas
:oit village ic this Citato, (o spend a por
*t->n ot I lie sP.-ipust -I to bo delicious ne
vl;s 1 known 1 i,> n ■moon, and placed
thcmscl vt >. under tint ehar iv <>t the
proprietor of the Soencer II ciso.—
T!icy then sailed forth to witness the
beauties an i pm ttliarilies of the Queen
i Hv, ami <1 n, as • .ah s are went, o
quantity of t!e iiltie badness embraced
in due term “siiopomg. Taw were
gon seven ai hours, and d.nl not return
tntii sundown, opiitc fa turned with their 1
exertions. Ihe bride, I*., then
found she had forgotten some articles m
dispmisable to iter toil,-t, and, unwilling
to disturb her husband, who, slie know
ttmd be weary, slipped out while he
was down stai'-s. and went up to Fourth
Street to yet the diminutive bundle.—
She was successful in her search for
Ihe store, and the articles, but, on her
v ay back, mistook, bom her ignorance
of the city, Main street for Broadway,
and the Madison for the Spencer House,
which arc situated nearly opposite to
each other.
Mrs. 11, went into the hotel, and
thinking it looked rather different from
the other, asked one of the waiters she
met in the hall, in rather a low and in
distinct tone, if that was the “Spen
cer," to which ho, failing to understand
her, replied in the atiirmative. She
then ordered him to brhu>* her the kev
to No. 48, which he did, and she enter
ed it and removed her bonnet, shawl
and other portions of her attire, and
crept between the sheets of the bed to
enjoy a little nap after her long walk,
never dreaming she was in the wrong
house, for the reason that the apart
ments happened to have the same posi
tion, and furnished very much like her
room at the “ Spencer. *’
Instead ot taking a “little nap,*’ she
toil into a profound sleep, that contin
ued hour after hour until eleven o'clock,
at which time she was disturbed by a
most unexpected incident.
The rightful occupant of Xo. 48, a
merchant from a town of Indiana, who
had been to tlic theatre and become a
little intoxicated, went to the Madison,
and wishing no one to sec his condi
tion, walked up to the room without a
light, and fortunately or unfortunately,
found the door unlocked. He entered
quietly, and as total darkness reigned
there, he removed his garments and
crept into the spacious double bed, not
disturbing in the least the fair bride
who lay near the walk
How long the two reposed there side
b\ side, w ilh oniv a- loot <>t space be
tween them, all unconscious of each
other's presence is not oxaetU known.
ikboiec) io iftpiiqi) Deedoii), SgKcqlfyre, ffetos, Jbeql b)fohi|qiioi), q.icl the biffysioq of IDdtil ifootekdgc.
but probably about an liour, when a
tremendous noise was heard in the i
apartment, from which female screams
issued wildly, piercingly and ceaseless
ly.
The hotel was in an uproar; proprie
tors, clerks, waiters, porters and guests, i
dressed and. half dressed, were at the j
door of “forty-eight” in a few minutes, i
blocking up the entrance and asking
each other eagerly, “ What is the mat- j
ter?” “For God’s sake tell us what i
is the trouble?”
The cause of this outcry may be im
agined, The bride had awaked about
midnight, and putting her hand over
for her husband, it fell on the Indian!-!
aids face, and the soft warm touch
aroused him at once. lie did not un
derstand it exactly, though he did not
dislike it, and in a moment more. Mrs.
1 said: “My dearest husband, where
have you been all this while?"
“Husband,” echoed the merchant,
beginning to see, like Lord Tinsel, that
he had “male u small mistake here;”
” i am nobody's husband, i reckon, my
dear madam, you're in the wrong bed.”
lu the wrong bed—horror of hor
rors, thought the bride. What would
her liege lord—what would the curious
world s;iy? And Mrs, R. screamed
terribly, and sprang from the couch,
Just as her companion did the same.—
He was fully as much alarmed as she.
and entreated her to give him time and
lie would leave the apartment, although
it was the one lie had engaged—he'd
make oath to that.
Scream, scream, scream, was the
only reply to this kind proposition.
“My God, madam, don't yell so! you
will wake the house. Be reasonable;
I swen it's but a mistake. Have some
thought of the consequences. I don't
want to hurt you; \ swear [ don't.—
You'll gel me shot and yourself—well,
I. won't say what."
The -creams increased, and the poor
liuiianian expecting every minute to
see h phfo! thrust in his face bv a ieal
‘■us husband, turned pale as death,'
which he expected, and resigned him
' If’to hi’- fate.
Just at this juncture the throng out
side presented itself at the door, and
beheld Mrs. 11. cowering in one corner
exercising her lungs magnificently, with
a sheet wrapped over her form and
iiead, and the ludianian in the middle
of the room enveloped n; a coverlet,
and ejaculating' “My God. madam,
don’t I
The junior proprietor, Dr. Cahill, saw
the must, he some mistake, and re
questing the tubers to retire, called the
merchant out, went with him to another
room, and there learned the whole
kstory. The Doctor then seat one of
tiie ladles of the hotel to Mrs. It., and
the entire affair was explained, greatly
to her relief, though she was over
whelmed with confusion at a circum
stance that might have ruined her rep
utation forever.
I nder the escort of the Doctor, she
was conveyed to the “Spencer," where
the husboml was found pacing the cor--
ridors with frantic mein, and half craz
ed with grief at the mysterious disap
pearance of his wife, whom lie believed
had been spirited away by a villain, or
murdered for her jewels in this “in
fernal city," where as he expressed it,
“ they would kill a man for a dollar
anytime,*’
As soon as he beheld Ids spouse he
caught her to his bosom and wept like
a child, lie was molted with happi
| ness at her discovery and recovery,
and told her he had scoured the citv
for intelligence of her w hereabouts in
vain, lie had nearly given up all hope
ot meeting her again in this world,
though, as he, growing poetic in his
joy, phrased it, she had, thank heaven,
returned to him like an angel from
i another sphere, and made his
Paradise in the Eden of her love.
The bride told the bridegroom a storv
a>. near the truth as slie could, which,
like most women s histories, designed
to shelior themselves, was a model of
ingenuity and a miracle of art—rwith
out exciting the Othello in his bosom;
and with a thousand thanks to the Doc
tor, whom the Benedick seemed some
how to regard as the deliverer of his
consort, they bade him good night.
i <l,
An impatient Welshman called
to his wife. “Come, come? isn't break
tast ready i Ive had nathing since
yesterday, and to-morrow will be the
third day.*’
This is equal to the call of the stir
ring housewife, who aroused her maid
at four o’clock, with—
“ Come Bridget, get up! Here ’tis
Monday morning. To-morrow** Tues
day- next day's Wednesday—half the
Tveek gone and nothin:; done vpf."
GRAND RAPIDS, AYISCONSIN. —SATURDAY, JANUARY 1, 1850.
From the Ogdensburgh Daily Sentinel.
Wiri, H. Seward.
It is a curious fact in the politics of
this country, that every few years it be
comes necessary, in order to ensure the
success of small politicians to kill off
our public men. Sometimes these at
tempts are quite successful, as in the
case of Gen Cass, whose body was sent
home by way of the lakes; Gen. Scott,
who perished from the scalding effects
of a hasty plate of soup ami a damag
ing lire in the rear; Harry Clay, who
went clown under the Alabama letter;
Calhoun, who was fretted to death try
ing to preserve an equilibrium; and the
“God like” Daniel Webster, who was
stunted in His political growth in the
Hartford Convention, and died off from
a tilt at a nomination which he charac
terized as “not fit to be made.” But
occasionally we have statesmen who
cannot be so easily got rid of, and who
live on, notwithstanding the desperate
attempts to kill them off, and who re
turn again and again to torment and
defeat their villitiers and pursuers, —
Among this latter class, William 11.
Seward stands pre-eminent. During
twenty five years he has said and done
a great many tilings w hich were to con
iine his political body to oblivion ; but
somehow or other, before the time ap
pointed for the funeral, it has been dis
covered that he was not dead, and his
• i unies have went howling’ away to
disappointment.
According to the statement of his en
emies, no political man in the country
has made so many political blunders as
William 11. Seward, yet under all these
adverse circumstances he has gradually
risen from comparative obscurity to the
front rank of statesman in the world.—
But Mr. Seward, if we may credit the
Democratic Journals, lias gone and kill
ed himself outright, by making an Ab
olition speech at Rochester, and utter
ing sentiments at war upon the institu
tions of one half of these States. The
way Air. S. did this naughty tiling was
by expressing as his opinion,, that the
whole of these States would in the end
be free or slavcholdimr, We must con
fess that wo see nothing terrible or war
like in that, and if anybody anticipates
strife from anything 31r. Seward lias
said, we recommend them to read Sen
ator 1 lammond’s South Carolina spec -h.
If that does not quiet their nerves, they
might emigrate till after the struggle.
The truth of the matter is, the opposi
tion to 3Lr. S. regard him as the great
bull in the China shop, and every time
he opens Ids mouth they scatter in every
direction, crying that lie has killed
himself, “and wit* he after us nerntf an
assertion ss ridiculous as absurd.—
31 r. S. is a bold, fearless, public man,
who strikes for truth,, on all occasions
and in nil places, without waiting to in
quire whether it. will bring fawns or
frowns.
ISf'" “Ah, Pat, Pat,” said a school
mistress to a thick headed urchin, into
whose muddy brain she was attempt
ing to bent the alphabet, “I am afraid
you will never learn anything. Now,
what’s that letter, eh ?”
“Share and 1 don’t know, ma’am,”
replied Pat.
“Thought you might have remem
bered that.”
“Why, ma’am?”
“Because it has a dot over the top
of it.”
“Och, ma’am, I mind it well, but
sure I thought it was a fly speck.”
“Well, now, remember, Pat, it’s I.”
“You, ma’am?”
“No, no, not U, but I.”
“Not I, but you, ma’am-how’s that?”
“Not I, but you, blockhead.”
“Och, yis, faith now I have it ma’am.
You moan to say that not 1 but you arc
a blockhead.”
“Pool! fool!” exclaimed the peda
gogucss, almost bursting with rage.
“Jest as you please,” quietly returned
Pat, “fool or blockhead—it’s no mat
ter as long as yer free to own it,”
A 31 ax with a Living Head but a
Dead Body!—A short time since a far
mer, who resides about five miles from
Hamilton, visited the city on business,
and while here, met with an accident
which caused the dislocation of the
vertebra? of his neck. The unfortunate
man, we regret to learn, is now lying
in an utterly hopeless condition, being
unable to move hands or legs, or to
perform any of his natural functions—
ui a word, he is a living head, but a
dead body. He has lain In this state
since the occurrence of the accident,
and the probability is, that he will nev
er regain the use of his limbs. The
poor man is attended by Dr. 3ldntosh,
who, we learn, enter! air* rm hope of his
recovery, ~Hi ( . M-) 1 nes.
Tue Xavajo Tribe of IxdlaxS:
An officer in the array of Xew Mexico
thus writes respecting this tribe:
The present population—the Xavajo
Indians—is rather a combination of the
savage and the partially civilized be
ing/ Many of their habits, especially
in dress, arc nomadic, while some of
their pursuits are intelligent and useful.
They have no religion. Their super
stitions point to some of the heavenly
bod ies as objects of worship, which is
sometimes performed by dances. The
body, they think, goes to die earth,
and the spirit lives in the air after the
mortal existence. When one dies, he
is quickly throw n into some crevice or
hole, sticks piled on him, his blankets,
trinkets Ac., laid upon him, and the
body is there left, inspiring the utmost
dread and fear in the living. They
plant and raise groat quantities of coni,
and considerable wheat. They also
grow melons, pumpkins, and have peach
trees, another evidence of more civil
ized life. They raise immense num
bers ol sheep and goats, and horses.—
They manufacture the Finest and most
durable blankets in the world. The
men greatly respect the women. They
have no government. Property is the
most potential voice in council. War
is dreaded by the rich, but courted by
the poor. Their number is about twelve
thousand, and increasing. Polygamy
exists among them, and they have very
little idea of chastity. They are cruel,
unprincipled and treacherous, as a na
tion, but have in them elements for im
provement and cultivation.
Anecdote or Prof. Morse.—Lieut.
Maury, during the delivery of his lec
ture on the Atlantic Telegraph, at
Cleveland, Thursday night, related the
following anecdote of Prof. Morse,
while engaged in perfecting his first
telegraph line, between Washington
and Baltimore. The report is from the
lUr odd:
Mr, Morse's first idea was to lay Ids
wire under ground, and accordingly he
had built a heavy plow to make the
furrow, dir. M., as he proceeded, en
countered insuperable difficulties rela
tive to the insulation of the wires. He
found he must abandon the under
ground plan and put the wires on poles.
But what excuse should be- given for
fie stoppage of Ids pi ©sent wc-rk until
he could set the polos and string the
wire. ? Without some excuse he
feared an entire withdrawal of confi
dence and of the Congressional appro
priation. He told his dilemma to his
plowman. “Dr. do yon see that stump
right in our path. ?” “ Yes !” “ Well
Dr. if this plow, drawn by this strong
team, comes in contact with that
stump, it is a used up plow, and the
work must stop until the plow is repair
ed," “Go ahead,'’ said Dr. Morse.—
The team did go ahead and the plow
was used up on the stump, and the
work of laying the wire under ground
had to sto]> until the plow could be
mended —and the plow is not repaired
yet.
DST" At a wedding anniversary that
was held by farmer Barrowtield,*at his
hospitable Grange near Chcrriton, Eng
land, considerable consternation was
I produced amongst guests by the first
course of the dinner consisting of onlv
j one turniii. Merriment however, soon
succeeded on a splendid goose, weigh
ing exactly sixteen pounds, being found
to be stowed inside the monster vege
table. Such a turnip was probably
never seen before! Potatoes, apple
i sauce, gravy, French beans, all found
ample accommodation within its roomy
interior. The desert, including a
water-melon, was served up in another
; turnip, scarcely inferior in size to its
predecessor. The company separated
at a late hour in a slate of the greatest
, hilaritv.
ihhW They tell a story about a man
oat West who had a hair lip upon
m Inch he performed an operation him
self, by inserting into the opening a
piece of chicken desh—it adhered and
filled up the space admirably. This
was well enough, until, in compliance
with the prevailing fashion, he attempt
ed to raise moustaches, when one side
grew hair and the other feathers.
i-if" A son of the Emerald Isle meet
ing a countryman whose face was not
perfectly remembered, after saluting
him most cordially, inquired his name
“Walsh,” was the answer.
“Walsh, Walsh," responded Padclv
—"are ye not from Doubliri? I knew
two np| m:dd there of (hat name—
either oi them ver mother ?"
CTc* In the trial of Montalembcrt.
the following scene took place :
On M. Berry or saying that to affirm
that France did r.ot now possess liberty
was not an attack upon the govern
ment, but merely the assertion of a no
torious and undeniable fact, be was in
terrupted by
The President, who said: Maitre
Berryer. the defence is free, as von
have seen ; but you are now going too
far; you are repeating at the bar the
very offence with which M. de Monta
lembert stands charged, and that can
not be permitted.
M. Berryer, with a gesture of elo
quent. astonishment, continued—“ Must
I then throw up my brief? Have I
lost my reason and conscience ? Do I
understand what the court means?—
Can it be that a counsel is to be con
strued as attacking the government,
because he will not say that black is
white? Why it is the boast of the
government that it has bartered liberty
for order, and it has done so, it savs.
with the consent, of the French people;
and that lam not here to deny. Yes,
France has repudiated her own liberty.
That is a fact which some people may
and others may not regret; but it is
not rational to hold it an offence in anv
one to state a simple fact that liberty
<loes not now exist.’ 4
Smart Boy.—“Welly whose pigs are
those?'*
“Old sow’s Sir.”
‘‘Whose sow is it?”
‘'Old man's, Sir.”
‘‘Well, then, who is your old man ?” !
“If you']? mind the pigs, I’ll run home
and ask the old woman.”
“Never mind sonny, T want a smart
boy—what can you do?”
can milk the geese, ride the grass
hoppers, light tires for flies to court by,
cut the buttons off dad's coat when he
is at prayers, keep tally for dad and
mam when they scold at a mark—old
woman is always ahead.” -* ♦
“Got any brothers ?”
“Lots of ’em—all named Bill except
Bob, and his name’s Sam—my name's
Larry, but they call me Lawrence for
shortness.”
“W ell, you are too smart for me.”
“Travel on old stick-in-the-mud, I
shan't hire you for a boss to-day.”
“Sally (Dubbins,” of “filadellia,”
wishes to get married 5 her card speaks
for itself:
“ -1 Husband Wanted . —By a yung
laid eye of inkonsiderable pursonal de
tractions and good edikashun. She is
under 50 years of aig, and of tanl del
icate tiger. She has 1 very fine i, hav
ing lost the ’tolher buy an orful lit of
smaul pocks, her accomplishments is
whistling with great power and sweet
ness, and plantin tutors. She lias been
takin lessons lu bocksin, and she is wil
ling to giv ampil proofs to hopsoeyer
marries her, Appli at maree street fil
adelfia.”
The latest and most wonderful
cure effected by a patent medicine,
recorded, is the following:
“A boy had swallowed a silver dol
lar. None of the faculty could devise
an alienation; whereupon the inventor
of patent medicines was sent for. “It
is evident,” said lie, “that so consider
able a com can never be forced by any
emetic known to science. However,
k-t him take this pill, and flattering con
sequences will be likely to ensue.” An
hour afterwards the boy threw up the
dollar, but in small change, principally
in five cent pieces.
£3?* “Hallo, boy did you see a rab
bit cross the road there just now?”
“A rabbit?*’
“Yes, be quick, a rabbit.’’
“Was it a kinder gray vermint?”
“Yes ! yes I”
“A longish creter, with a short tail?”
“Yes, quick or he’ll gain his burrow.”
“Had it long legs behind, and ears?”
“Yes I yes !”
“And sorter jumps when it runs?”
“Y es, I tell you; jumps when it runs.”
“Well, i hain't seen such a creter
about here.”
■ ’g, -
Aphorism.—Everyman has just as
much vanity as he lacks understanding.
To be angry, is to avenge the fault
oi others upon ourselves.
A man should never be ashamed to
own he has been in the wrong: which
is but saying, in other words, that he is
wiser to-day than he was yesterday.
To relieve the oppressed is the most
glorious act a man is capable of: ir is
in some measure doing the business of
God and Providence.
An excuse is worse and .more terri
ble than a lij; for an excre is a Jip
guarded.
51.50 A YEAR
Fact, Fancy and Fun.
—Ladies’ bonnets—bare-faced false
hoods.
jf
—A couple wishing to get married,
used a bee line to tie the knot.
—Why are fowls the most economi
cal things farmers keep ? Because for
every grain they give a peck.
—Whose best work are most tram
pled on? A shoemakers; because good
shoes last longer than bad ones.
—“Scatter the genus of the beauti
ful," as the poet said when he kicked
his wife and children out of doors.
—Every woman has a right to be of
any age she pleases; for if she were to
stale her real age, no one would believe
her.
*
—li you wish to dream of wedding
rings and fruit cake, waltz with a book
muslin dress stlifted with health and
palpitation.
—Some writer says that the word
would, in Rufus Choate's hand writing,
resembles a small gridiron struck by
lightning.
—What’s the difference between a
blind man and an imprisoned sailor?
One can’t see to go, and the other
can’t go to sea.
—Keep doing, always doing. Wish
ing,, dreaming, intending, nmnnuring,
talking, sighing, and repining, are all
idle and profitless employments.
—"What do you propose to take for
your cold? said a lady to a sneezing
gentleman. Oh, I’ll sell very cheap;
I won’t higgle about the price at all.
—"When you pay for your coat double
its value,, why is it like your wile?—
Kase it is very dear. “Humphl” says
an old bachelor, £i re/y dear, indeed!”
—A wag remarked the other day
with a very grave countenance that
“however prudent and virtuous wid
ows might be, he had seen many a
widow-err,”
—There is not a creature in the
world, where in we may not see enough
to wonder at; there is no insect, no spire
of gross wherein we soc not traces of
divine hand.
—There is more truth than poetry in.
the assertion that there are two periods
when Congress does no business—-one
is before the holidays and the other
after.— Prentice .
—A friend of ours was congratulat
ing himself upon recently having taken
a very pleasant trip. Upon inquiry,
we found that he had tripped and fell
into a young lady’s lap,
—ln an Irish provincial journal there
is an advertisement running thus:—
“Wanted, a handy laborer, who can
: plow a married man and a Protestant,
with a son or daughter.”
| —Mr, ]>—sat a long time very at
. tentivo, musing upon a cane-bottomed,
i chair. At length he said: “I wo.ndei
w hat fellow took the trouble to fhv<
them ar holes, and to put the straw
round them?”
—“lke," said a rusty old heathen of
the desk, “kow do astronomers measure
the distance to the sun?” “Why,” rc
plied the young hopeful, “they gue§s at
one-fourth the distance, and then mul
tiplies by four.” The desk-worm taint
ed.
—ln the last illness of George Cole
man, the doctor being late in an ap
pointment, apologized to his patient,
saying that he had been called in to
see a man who had fallen down a well,
“Did he kick the bucket, doctor?”
groaned out poor George.
—The Boston Post wants to know
why credit should not be given to physi
clans in notice of death, as well as
clergymen in notice cl marriage. A
newspaper obituary announcement
should read. “Died at the hands of
Dr. Saddlebags, John Doc, aged so
and so.
—“A pretty pair of eyes are the be**,
mirrors to shave by,” said Mr. All
sense, the other day to an old fogy bach
elor.
“Why, humph ! yes, to he sure,” re -
plied the old hunx: “and I can toll von
little more—many a man has been
shaved by them!”
—An eastern editor, complaining
that he could not sleep one night, sura
mod up the causes :
“Sixteen plug uglies thrashing a dead
rabbit—-a wailing babe" of sixteen
months old—a dog howling under the
window—a cat in the alley—a colored
serenade over th*=■ way- toothache
and a pi" -rvipg to ilj at the k
door.