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2 GRANT COUNTY HERALD. H. J. JOHNSON, Publisher. LANCASTER, - - WISCONSIN. p % There hasn’t yet been a whisper of serious damage to the lemon crop. « . -i The pen Is at least more dangerous than the sword where ministers are concerned. With Abe Rues and Abe Ilmnmel both In the penitentiary, things will look better from one end of this coun try to the other. Editor William T. Stead isn’t talk ing about the men of this country in a way to ever get himself affection ately called Uncle Bill. A failure of the tobacco crop In Cuba has caused a few thoughtless persons to predict a shortage in the supply of genuine Imported Havana cigars. The Philadelphia woman who blamed the marriage license clerk for all her marital troubles evidently wanted liberty and not license. Rev. Anna Shaw believes that if wo men could vote universal peace would be hastened. Probably she thinks the women would vote for a change of hu man nature. It Is said that the man who whis tles a great deal rarely swears. There is enough swearing in his immediate vicinity, however, to more than make up his shortage. But Americans who enlist in their country’s service are not the only ones who desert. From four British war ships anchored at Jamestown there have been 160 desertions. "People get funny ideas when they go to America,” says George Bernard Bhaw. So they do —in fact, the ideas sometimes seem to be downright idiot ic. George Bernard Shaw got a num ber of tliat kind. In Sweden the woman’s club is known as the damklubb. In certain masculine company it is known as that In this country —even among native born Americans. Simply an adapta tion of the Swedish, no doubt. M. E. Ingalls, former president of the Big Four, says there are too many millionaires In this country. Every man who is struggling along on a small ■alary believes that there ought to be at least one more millionaire In this country tartnake It an ideal spot. Commander Peary dedicates his book on arctic exploration to his wife, “who has been my constant aid and inspira tion, and has borne the brunt of it all.” While the hero Is on the field of battle, or afar on the path of danger, the heroine at home Is patiently bear ing day after day of suspense and anx iety. America Is plethoric In everything. Our circulation is congested. In other words, our transportation facilities are far below our needs. Meantime loco motive works and car factories are run ning twenty-four hours a day. And 411 this notwithstanding some of our great transcontinental lines do not pos sess sufficient sidetracks to hold their present equipment of cars. We are now as much in need of double tracking onr transcontinental lines of railroad as we were originally in need of these lines. The combined railroads could not transport an army with necessary supplies to the Pacific coast In six months. Our salvation lies in the fact that no such army will be needed. At least let us so hope and pray. The United States Supreme Court di vides six to three on the question whether men employed on dredges en gaged In government work are sailors or ordinary workmen. Six judges say they are sailors and three that they are not —the two Massachusetts mem bers of the court dividing and writing the opposing opinions. It’s a queer question to divide so august a tribunal and seems to betray a disposition there in to divide where there is any possi ble excuse for doing so. The average man who has ever seen a dredge and knows of the work it performs will be inclined to side with Justice Moody and the minority in the conclusion that men employed thereon are no more ■a llors than men working a steam ■hovel on the bank of an Inland canal. If capital punishment is to be re tained as the penalty for deliberate murder It should be extended to cover the crime of train-wrecking even In cases where life Is not lost The train wrecker is a murderer In purpose and Intent even when he kills nobody. Be ing a deliberate, mercenary and cold blooded murderer, he ought to be hang ed If other murderers are hanged. Some states already inflict the death penalty upon train-wreckers. The others ought to do so. Some extenuation may be urged for even a deliberate murder When the crime is prompted by the passions of hatred and revenge. These are powerful Incentives and men are prone to yield to them. But the mur derous work of the train-wrecker is actuated by no such sentiment He coldly plans the murder of people wßom he has never seen and against whom he holds no grudge. He is willing to kill In order that he may rob and plun der. If anyone deserves hanging he does. It will be necessary, too, to be gin the hanging pretty soon unless rail road travel is to become hazardous to the point of imminent risk. The mur derous miscreants who wreck trains are extending their operations over the whole country. Nothing short of a close view of the gallows and noose will serve to deter them. “The women at that table paid eighteen-pence each for their lunches,” said the proprietor of a London res taurant to a journalist in search of material. “Of the two men at the next table, one paid ninepenee for lunch and the other paid sevenpence.” Then the caterer added the astonishing state ment that business women eat more and heartier food than business men do. His opinion is that men are los ing the power to enjoy their meals. From this, one might infer that the American quick. lunch, recently intro duced In London, found numerous En glishmen prepared to bridge the inter val between breakfast and dinner with something like a piece of pie and a glass of milk. It is not so easy to be lieve that the young business woman is turning from the traditional choco late eclair to kidney pudding or beef steak pie. Yet both statements may be true, and if they are, things might be worse. So far as Americans are concerned, probably in the past the average business man ate too much In the middle of the day. When his daughter went into business she took the wrong way to strike a balance, by eating too little. Sensible men have almost reached the ideal, a light and wholesome lunch. The women have had less time to experiment. But they are equally sure to learn that one can not do a good afternoon’s work on a stomach either empty or overloaded. Milk and cereals, Eoups and sand wiches are not yet appreciated at their full value as luncheon possibilities, but It is to be counted in favor of the quick lunch that It has caused to be preferred to heavier, less whole some and more expensive dishes. If such light lunches cease to be “quick,” and are taken in more leisurely fash ion, men and women of business are not likely to lack the “power to enjoy their meals,” the substantial meals they take before and after work, for they will have sound digestions to match healthy appetites. “You’d think from what some folks say that cap’ns of industry was a mod ern discovery, ’long o’ ’leetricity an’ sun-spots,” began Ell Bacon, with mild irony. “But tain’t so. They’ve alwus been an they alwus will be, if they’re what I take ’em to be —nothing more nor less than men that alwus land on their feet “There was Cy Greene. When I was a boy he lived In my town, at the mouth of the Kennebec River. He was a fisherman by trade, and one morning he was watching the Winne macook pull out from the wharf for Bath, a-resting Idly cm his oars. “It was very early, and as soon as the steamer started the wharf was de serted. The Wlnnemaccok started off all right; then she begun to back an’ back, and fin’lly crash she come into Cy’s dory. “His boat was stove to pieces, and Cy was throwed into the water. But he didn’t stay there. He got a-hold o’ the Winnemacook’s rudder an’ hauled himself up astride on’t He yelled an’ hollered a while, but nobody heard him, an’ he concluded to settle down to business. “When the boat pulled Into Bath, which Is some fifteen miles, there sot Cy on the rudder, easy’s ol’ Tilly. “ ‘What under th’ canopy are you doing there?’ sung out a man on the wharf. “ ‘Steering the Winnemacook to Bath,’ says Cy.” Child Cynics. A London writer exclaims at think ing “there is really nothing to account for the extraordinary critical mood which the modern child has developed in regard to toyland.” The modern child will simply not make believe. Little boys and girls alike become sticklers for the “correct thing,” and if the build of a steamship or a motor car, the cut of a doll’s frock or the myste ries the eye does not usually see are not “just iike” the real thing there is trouble. It/is said that toy makers have even now to employ scientific ex perts and French milliners if they hope to pass the critical eyes of the “new child.” The fact is the modern child is born a cynic and a sated little dar ling. It has no emotions, no desires save to destroy and be lived and breathed for by necessary parents.— Boston Herald. Canada's New Sunday Law. Canada’s Lord’s day act recently passed provides that It shall be unlaw ful on Sunday to engage in any public game or contest for gain or to be pres ent at any performance or public meet ing, elsewhere than in a church, at which a fee is charged, or to run, con duct or convey any excursion on which passengers are conveyed for hire, or to advertise any performance or to bring Into Canada for sale or distribution or to sell or distribute on “the Lord’s day” any foreign newspaper or publi cation classified as a newspaper. Ever notice how large the “fresh paint” sign looms directly after you have absorbed about a pound with your new clothes? A boy never thinks he is so smart as when making a fool of himself. GRANT COUNTY HERALD, LANCASTER, WISCONSIN. “I’ve some bad news for you, Wil bur,” said the man’s wife as the man composed himself for his after-dinner cigar. “I’ve been expecting it for ■ome time, and now It’s happened.” “Well, let’s have it,” said the man. “Don’t try to break it to me gently.” “Myrtle’s going to leave.” “What?” “She Isn’t satisfied and she’s going to leave at the end of the week, and now we’ll have to find a new girl and I’ve got all my spring sewing before me.” “What’s the matter with her?” “Well, she’s dissatisfied.” “I suppose * she wants more wages. What did you tell her? Did you say you’d speak to me about it?” “No. I didn’t think it would do any good.” “Why not? I’ve thought all along that we might pay her a little more — a dollar a week more anyway. I think I suggested It. You women are funny; you’ll suffer any amount of inconven ience and pay out money for registra tion offices and advertisements and car fare till you can’t rest, but you wouldn’t think of raising a girl’s wages to keep her if she was the best that ever happened. That wouldn’t be econ omy, of course. Well, you have your self to blame for it” “I think we were paying her enough, as far as that goes.” “Certainly you think so. You’d think that if we had been paying her $3 a week Instead of $5. It isn’t busi nesslike, my dear. Of course, I don’t like to Interfere with the household af fairs or I’d have insisted on that. How long do you suppose our concern would last If we tried all the time to pay an employe less than he was worth? If there’s a man in my department who Is doing good work I recommend him for more salary. I don’t wait until he AMWMJ MVMMjqZ' CHOf_ ( j v ' \ -'!*:. l|§|| " WHERE THE RAILMAKER IS A RAIL AHEAD. Diagram of an ingot showing the ‘pipe” at the end, formed in casting. Photo shows defect in a rail rolled fromthe “pipe” end of an ingot. Railmakers used to trim off nearly the whole of the “pipe” end. Now they trim off so little that they can make one more rail out of what used to be discarded as “scrap.” “WORDS, IDLE WORDS.” “I never realized,” said a young wom an the other day, “how many unneces sary words I use until I went into a Chinese laundry with some work -1 wanted done. If an American had taken my order, I should have said, ‘I have some shirt waists I wish laun dered. lamin a great hurry for them, and wish them as soon as I can pos sibly have them. Now, can you prom ise me that, without fail, I shall have them this week?’ I should have con sidered that speech as a definite and fairly concise statement of my need. As it was, I handed the package to the Chinaman. ‘When?’ said I. He opened the bundle and remarked, ‘Fllday.’ ‘Sure?’ said I. He nodded, and we parted.” R. G. Hobbes, in his “Remi niscences of Seventy Years,” quotes an old story of India, the purport of which is the same as this modern tale: The extent of Sanskrit literature is enormous. Raja Dabshelim had a li brary so large that it aequired one hundred Brahmans to keep it in order, and took one thousand camels to carry It when the king journeyed. Knowing that he never could read so many vol umes, the raja directed the Brahmans to make a brief and comprehensive ab stract of tlie whole. For twenty years the priests labor ed, and at last they brought to the king the desired compendium, consist ing of twelve thousand volumes, a load for thirty camels. But the king was angry. “Begone!” he cried. “How can any one read twelve thousand volumes? Abridge more!” So the work went on. The library was reduced to fifteen camels’ load, tliea to ten, to four, to two, and finally the whole was capable of being borne by one mule. One mule’s load, even, was more than Luc might live to pe ruse HOW BAD RAILS CAUSE WRECKS. asks for it, even. What’s the result? I’ve got a man who understands that he Is appreciated. I can give a man an unsolicited Increase of $3 a week and he’ll be tickled to death, whereas if I waited until he kicked for $5 and got It, he’d be wishing that he’d ask ed for $9 and be disgruntled at that I think Myrtle’s worth $7 to us, but if you bad gone to her some morning and told her that you were pleased with her and were going to give her $6, I’ll bet .wild horses couldn’t have dragged her away from us. Do you think you would like me to talk to her? I think, perhaps, I ” “I don’t think I would, dear.” “Now, why?” asked the man. “Well, I think you hurt her feelld§3 by what you said about the dinner last night.” “I Why, I didn’t mean—” “I know you didn’t mean to. But you’ve complained several times late ly and —” - “Only when I had a darned good cause for it. You don’t expect that I’m going to put up -with food half scorch ed or raw, the way she’s been giving it to us lately?” “Of course not, I think you weTe right. But she thinks —well, she says you have been asking so many of your friends to meals unexpectedly and it has given her so much extra work and —” The man choked. “So I’ve got to ask her permission ✓ before I invite my friends to my house, have I?” he de manded. “Well, if she’s got that Idea she can’t pack her trunk any too sooa She does not need to wait till the end of the week. We can get somebody else, and it’s a cinch she can’t be a much poorer excuse for a cook than Myrtle is. I don’t think we need pay jSG, either. Five dollars is plenty for the work she has to do.”—Chicago Daily News. “I will not read a thing until every thing redundant is removed,” he de clared. Then one of the Brahmans said: “I will promise to make yon an abstract which may be read in one minute, and yet will occupy your thoughts for life.” The king gave his assent, and the Brahman wrote on a palm leaf: “What mortals call ‘Science’ can be represented in one word, ‘perhaps;’ and the whole story of man can be put in three, ‘born—troubled—dead.’ ” Laying In Winter Supplies. Apples and flowers, birds’ nests, pre cious stones —precious to the owner— growing plants and baby mud turtles all figure in the collection of treasures carried back from the country, says a writer in the Deaconess Advocate; but rarely has a “fresh air” displayed the foresight of a mother who was seen clambering over a rail fence into a piece of underbrush. “Faith, an’ it’s some o’ thlm nice switches I’m after, Miss Brown,” was the reply to the deaconess’ question. “I haven’t been able to find me a daclnt switch for the byes sence I was In the kentry last summer, and now I’m goin’ to take home enough to last till next year.” Absent-Minded. Tony—l’m against keeping the lid on. Jones —Why? Tony—l kept mine on when Miss Sweet passed me the other day and now she won’t speak to me.—Detroit Free Press. A* to a Feminine Passer-II Peter Amerieanus —So that was the great Mrs. Rolindust, was it? Let’s see; she married into society, didn’t she? The Innocent Abroad—Oh, father! No! She divorced into it. —Puck. What has become of the old-fash ioned man who removed his boots with & bootjack? QUITE NATURAL. Bnilnua And Social Relations Inter mingled In This Case. She was the elegant and gracious mistress of a fine old mansion In a little town, and her caller was an an cient sociologist. His seat wa3 near the window, and as they talked he ob served an aged whltewasher, splashed and shabby, going Ly with his pail. Suddenly the man paused, retraced his steps, and came up the garden path. A moment later the lady was summoned to the door. “Oh, Is It you, Henry?” the caller heard her say. “We sha’n’t be ready ~or you till next week. I think there must be some mistake.” “There ain’t any mistake, and It ain’t the Job I came about,” drawled Fenry’s voice, leisurely, “but the skirt o' that green dress you wear Sundays Is flap pin’ out a side winder up-stairs, and there’s a storm cornin’ up—like to be a downpour any minute now —and I kind o ’thought maybe ’twouldn’t be Improved by a soakin’. I guess you’d forgot It.” “Certainly I had!” cried the lady. “I took a spot out with benzine, and hung it over the sill to air, and forgot all about it. O, thank you, Henry!” The door closed; the guest heard his hostess flying hastily up-stalrs, and when, a few minutes later, she reap peared, flushed and laughing, the storm had already broken, and the amiable Henry, with his coat-collar turned up, with scudding away into the distance before a pelting gale. “If the business relation everywhere merged as naturally and simply Into friendliness as between your white washer and you,” said the visitor, with a sigh and a smile, “how much easier and fewer would the problems be we sociologists have to consider!” “Henry Is a very nice man, and I’ve known him all my life,” said the lady, with a touch of surprise, settling again comfortably Into her easy chair. “Of ocurse he wouldn’t let my dress be spoiled as long as he happened to notice it. I’m very glad he looked up.”— Youth’s Companion. THE FAVOR IN RETURN. Secretary Straus, of the Department of Commerce and Labor, is the most punctilious of men. The mere sugges tion that courtesy demands an act will wring from him what no other consid erations could extract When -the strike on the New York subway oc curred in 1905, It was reported that the Civic Federation would attempt to settle the trouble by arbitration. Mr. Straus was then vice president of the Civic Federation, and the news papers tried to get from him a state ment In regard to the matter, but he dodged all interviewers. One paper sent a reporter to Mr. Straus’ house at night. Despite the most Insistent and varied appeals sent I up by the reporter, Mr. Straus re fused to see him. After each appeal the butler brought back a polite reply to the effect that Mrs. Straus was sick and that Mr. Straus could not leave her. In despair the reporter left the house and telephoned his city editor that he could not get an interview. “Go back and try again,” came to him over the telephone. To return and plead for an Interview was both useless and stupid. The re porter sat down on a step and racked his brains for a means of forcing an interview. Suddenly an inspiration came to him. He dashed acress the ! street to a drug stone, where he could | write, and penned this note: "Dear Mr. Straus —Please pardon me | for disturbing you again, but it is un ; avoidable. When the Russians were I massacring the Jews at Kishlnef, the j undersigned, at your request, wrote an | article of protest that was given wide | publicity. He would consider It a re j turn of courtesy and greatly appreciate [ it if you would give him a short inter | view at this time relative to the sub i way stiike.” In less than a minute after receiving this note Mr. Straus escorted the re porter into his library, and there dic tated an interview. About the Limit. i A newly married couple came In a hotel where we were resting and asked | how much it would cost to get two I bowls of boiled rice and milk and were informed that the price was 15 cents pei portion. The groom pulled a small package wrapped in a bit of newspa per from his pocket and, opening it, dis played about a double handful of rice, which he said they had gathered from their clothing after the shower which followed the early morning wedding. He inquired how much would be deduct ed If they furnished their own rice, and upon being informed that no allowance could be made became indignant and remarked that they would wait until they reached home for their dinner rather than submit to such unfair deal ing, and left the place. The proprietor said that the young man owned one of the best farms in the town and had es tablished a famous reputation locally for economy, although that Is not ex actly the way he expressed it. —Forest anu Stream. A Man of High Principle*. Scotsman (up for the week end, who lias been asked by his friend to go to a music hall) —Xa, na, mon.’ D'ye no ken I never visit a music haP on th’ Saturday, for fear I should laugh in th* kirk on tli* Sawbath? —London Opinion. Being a True Sport isn’t much of a reeommendatiou la any other line. In some of the farming districts of China pigs are harnessed to small wagons and made to draw them. In the fiords on the Norway coast the clearness of the water is wonderful. Objects the size of a shilling may be seen at a depth of twenty-five to thirty fathoms. Japanese auctions are conducted in the following manner: Each bidder at an auction writes his name and bid on a slip of paper, which he puts in a box. When the bidding is over the box is opened, and the goods declared the property of the highest bidder. Teeth have been worshipped, and, in fact, are venerated as relics in some religious shrines. Buddha’s tooth is preserved in an Indian temple. The Cingalese worship the tooth of a mon key, while an elephant’s and a shark’s tooth serve a similar purpose among the Malabar islanders and the Tonga islanders, respectively. The Siamese were formerly the possessors of a tooth of a sacred monkey, which they valued highly. In a war with the Portuguese they lost the holy grinder, along with much gold and precious stones. The most diminutive vertebrate crea ture in the world is said to be a small fish caught in a mountain lake in the Luzon region of the Philippines. The largest of the species is less than an 1 inch long, but its smallness may be best gauged by tbe fact that It takes about six thousand of them to make a pound. Although so tiny, however, the fish, which is named sinarapan, is an im portant article of diet among the Phil ippine natives. Obviously It is too small for any net, and is caught in coarse muslin sheets. The fish are prepared by being mixed with pepper and other spices, and then dried in the sun. They are a great native delicacy. Natural gas is a wonderful thing, and the tricks it can play seem to upset many laws of nature. Up on Deer Creek, in Allen County, says the Kan i sas City Journal, a short distance from the big gusher recently brought in by the Prime Western Smelter Company, the drillers have a pumping plant to supply the boiler'of the drill rig with water. Among the pipes that are run down to the creek is one carrying the gas which leaks from the casing of the big well. This pipe has been run out into midstream and the escaping gas causes the water to boil violently. The escaping gas has been ignited, and so this boiling fountain in the middle of the creek burns with a hot, boiling flame, each bubble being filled with gas. The sight at night is weird, and such a fountain would be attractive in a park | but for the fact that a good quantity ' of gas would be consumed. RABBIT WITH SNOWSHOES. How Nature Provides to Save He* Own From Untimely Ends. Nature lias tried many means of sav- I ing her own from the snow death; j some, like the woodchuck, she puts to I sleep till the snows shall be over. Oth ers she teaches to store up food and to hide —so she deals uitli the wood mouse. To still others, as the moose, she furnishes stilts. The last means she employs is snow shoes. This, the simplest, most scien • tifle and best, is the equipment of the i snowshoe rabbit, the Wabasso of Hia j watha —a wonderful creature born of a i snowdrift crossed with a little brown hare. The moose Is like a wading bird of the shore that has stilts and can wade well for a space, but that soon reaches tho limit beyond which it is no better than a land bird. But the snowshoe Is like the swimmer—it skims over the surface where It will, not caring if I there be one or 1,000 feet of the ele ; ment below In this lies its strength. Wabasso has another name—the varying hare —because It varies in color with the season; and the seasons in all Its proper country are of two colors— brown for six months, white for six. So all summer long, from mid-April till mid-Oetc-ber, the northern hare is a lit tle bro-wn rabbit Then comes the snowy cold, the brown cor.t is quickly shed, a new white coat appears, the snowshoes grow full er, and the little brown hare has be come a white hare —the snowshoe hare of the woods. —Everybody’s Magazine. A Steady Trade. There were only three houses In the little hamlet on Cape Cod, but an ora tor from a near-by summer colony was minded to rouse the civic conscience by declaring that trade was the be ginning of wisdom. “And,” said he, “I assure you that it Is not capital half so much as It is initiative that is need ed in a place like this.” The three citizens spat collectively and simultaneously, looking straight ahead. “That kind o’ reminds me,” drawled one, without shifting his gaze, “o* Harve Upham an’ Dan Winsor, down the beach a ways. “Harv© had a shanty an’ Dan had a shanty, an’ they both had some plug tobacco. One day Harve went to Dan’s an’ bought ten cents’ wuth o’ tobacco, an’ the next day Dan went to Harve an’ bought ten cents’ wuth o’ tobacco off him. “They continued those sales sev’ral days,” concluded the speaker. “They both got all the tobacco they wanted, an’ Harve fin’lly retired on the dime.” The town cow acts largely on thv theory that this is a Free Country, l t •?.» j