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THE EJVD OF IT ALL. [Copyright. 1907, by P. C. Eastment.] “Say, captain.” said the recruiting sergeant as he entered the room where his superior was seated in a building on South street. New York, “I’ve got a Jim dandy of a recruit. He’s a swell.” “lie isn't the sort we want.” “But he says he’s bound to enlist either in the army or navy.” “Bring him in.” The captain had seen Thomas Dal ton’s kind before. It always began with a false name—the first name that came into their heads —and it almost always ended in desertion or tragedy. He sized the young man up as he stood at the desk, and he made mental memoranda as follows: “Hasn’t got through college yet. Got into some scrape. Old man has given him a dressing down. Young fellow is proud and won’t stand it. Hasn't the money to go abroad or take a tour out west and is going to enlist in spite of the governor. Old man will buy him out of the service in six mouths. The mother’s tears will make him do it. He’s bound to take the army or navy. Six months of discipline will take some of the frolic out of him, and I’ll give him a show to settle down.” The usual questions were asked and answered, the young man was sent to the surgeon, and before sundown he belonged to Uncle Sam. The sergeant, being now his superior officer, started out to patronize the “fresh fish.” It didn’t work. He wanted to talk confidentially. The recruit was mum. Nothing further was learned about him, and after three or four days he was sent off to Jefferson Barracks to go west to Fort Thomas. They want ed recruits out there. The Sioux were threatening to go on the warpath again. There are men among army officer; who should never have been commis sioned. Their temperaments unfit them to preserve discipline and rule as they should. Such a man was Captain Cole man of Company G. He was quick tempered, irascible, peevish and a mar tinet and of the ten .captains in the ED. HYDE Saw Filing, Scissor Grind ing, Razor Sharpening, Key Fitting, Lock Repair ing and Trunks Repaired. I ED. HYDE Monuments Having the advantage of over 30 years experience as a | practical Cutter and Carver in Marble, Granite and stone | and as I employ no agents, I am able to guarantee the best kind of work at the lowest possible prices. f I respectfully ask intend ing purchasers to call and see my designs and get prices from me before buying else where. Inscriptions cut. Shop opposite Cong’l church ( Alfred Warren, Lancaster, Wisconsin. Rapid changes of temperature are hard on the toughest constitution. The conductor passing from the heated inside of a trolley car to the icy temperature of the platform —the canvasser spending an hour or so in a heated building and then walking against a biting wind —know the difficulty of avoiding cold. Scott 9 J Errtulsion strengthens the body so that it can better withstand the danger of cold from changes of temperature. It will help you to avoid taking cold. ALL DRUGGISTS; sOc. AND SI.OO. regiment he was oftenest in trouble with his men and was obliged to re port the most desertions. James Dai tou was assigned to Company G, and within two days and for no reason th<.t he or his comrades could argue out tne captain was down on him and showcJ it in various ways. It wasn't two weeks before he was in the guard house for some dereliction that would have been passed over in another. The colonel was a fatherly man, and in h.s desire to be fatherly toward the young recruit he made matters worse. Dalton asked for no one’s sympathy, lie gave no one his confidence. lie tried his best to obey all regulations and fit himself for a soldier, lie would have had praise from the right sort of officer. Indeed, he did have it in a way from the lieutenants of the com pany, but there was nothing but growling and fault finding from the captain. His conduct almost created a scandal at the post. One day on com pany drill he was singled out and needlessly rebuked and sneeringly crit icised and ordered off to the guard house under arrest. There was a mut tering up and down the ranks, but this only provoked Captain Coleman to add other charges. That night in the guardhouse a gray haired corporal said to Dalton through the slats of the door: “What it’s about I dunno, but the captain isn’t giving you a square deal.” “And it will grow worse instead of better,” replied the prisoner. “You can bank on that. He’s hound ed a dozen men out of the company since I got tnese stripes. It’ll be court martial and five years for you if he can bring it about.” “And what shall I do?” “I’ve got to go out to post No. 3. I shall be gone fifte n minutes. The heavy iron poker has got in with you somehow. If I was inside there, I be lieve I could pry off these slats with it.” “Thank you.” When the sergeant returned, Dalton was gone; also one of the muskets and a belt of. fifty cartridges. Over on offi cers’ row a private soldier with a mus ket in his hands stoou for three or four minutes looking up at a certain win dow as if thinking to send a bullet into the opening. Then he lowered the musket and turned away and crept from the fort between posts Nos. 7 and 8. It was a summer evening, with the crickets singing, and the sentinels drowsed as they walked. Daylight brought excitement and a bustle. A member of Company G had deserted. Three mules had been run off from the corral. Indian signal smoke had been seen at daylight, and by sunup ser tlers came pouring in with the news that Red Bull had broken loose and was in the hills with 500 warriors. Dalton had made for the hills. He must go into hiding and exist some way until the hue and cry w r as over. He knew that the redskins were threatening, but he had no choice. In the darkness he crossed the mile wide plain and then made his way up the side of Eagle peak for the same dis tance, and the coming of daylight found the warriors all about him. All the long forenoon they could see the puffs from a score of Indian rifles. They knew that it was the soldier and deserter, but they could render him no aid until afternoon—until they knew that his last cartridge had been fired an hour before. Then 300 men marched out and found and burled the ghastly thing the fields had left. He had demanded ten lives for his one. He had ostracized himself—enlisted, deserted and there among the rocks ended it all. M. QUAD. Plan to Buy Piano For a School. The children of the public schools at Swedesboro. N. J., are having the time of their lives, says a special dispatch to the St. Louis Republic. All day they can sit in school and chew gum or eat candy, and when their supply runs out they can go to their teacher and buy more, for every teacher now runs a confectionery store and sells the children all the candy they wish to buy. The profit is to be used to purchase a piano for the $38,000 school house now in the course of erection. Of course the rule forbidding children eating in school hours has not been re voked, but under the present circum stances it is but natural that the teach ers cannot always see when the rule is being broken, i It is said that in many Welsh villages the yew tree and the church are of the same age, the one being planted when the other was built. GRANT COUNTY HERALD, LANCASTER, WISCONSIN. JANUARY 18, 1908. NEW PHONIhG METHOD Hew Those Who Talked Through Their Chests Fared, STILL ANOTHER DISCOVERY. One Subscriber Finds That You Can Telephone Even Through Your Foot. Experience of a Man Who Called Up His Wife—Scientific Explanation. After New York at breakfast the other day had read of the new way of telephoning developed in* St. Louis an experimental era in Manhattan set in, says the New York Times. The two young women of St. Louis who were the exponents of the new method found that you could telephone through your chest almost as well as it you talked directly into the transmit ter. In fact, almost any part of the body would answer. It remained, how ever, for an elderly man in an office downtown to disclose the fact that if you laid the transmitter tightly against the sole of your foot you could make the man at the other end of the lino hear. This man, like many others, had read the news on the way downtown. Once in his office he went to his tele phone. Putting the transmitter against his chest, he gave central the number of his brokers. He was much surprised and delighted when the connection was made. Shifting the transmitter to his head, he called: “Buy me 200 West Shore fours.” The man at the other end repeated the order. Then the position of the transmitter was lowered. . “Pick up not over 5,000 Inter-Met. common,” he said. Then he held the transmitter against the sole of his foot. “You might buy me some Knicker bocker trust,” he said. “How much?” came back over the wire. Then the elderly operator, secure in the joy that he had made a discovery, canceled his orders, placing the trans mitter to his lips this time that there might be no mistake. While he had been conducting these experiments, however, he had left the door of his inner office open. A clerk had seen him and pointed out the sight to other employees. “I knew that the old man was wor ried,” said the clerk; “now you see.” This explains why a rumor of the serious illness of “the old man” got out into the financial district. Another of the experimenters called up his wife on the telephone. “How are you? It’s Jim,” he said through his chest. The wife, whom he hadn’t called up In at least three years except to say that he wouldn’t be home for dinner, was surprised and pleased till her hus band’s next remark spoiled the effect. “I am talking through my chest,” he said. “What do you mean?” “Now I am talking throng a my head.” “Jim”— “And now I am talking through my foot.” “Jim,” she “have you been drinking?” Then he told her about the article in a New York newspaper on the new system of telephoning, but she wouldn’t listen to more. “I shall smell your breath when you come home tonight,” she said and rang off. In some of the Broadway hotels the attendants didn’t understand at first what had come over the people. In one hotel a man came out of the bar and entered a booth. A few moments later a page went to the clerk’s desk with the information: “You’d better call a policeman. There’s a man drunk or crazy in No. 3 booth.” In such cases explanations, if backed with copies of the paper containing the article on telephoning, were accepted. Perhaps the most skepticdl persons in town were such of the telephone girls who hadn’t seen the story. “Hello, girlie! I’m talking to you through my chest,” said one man at a nickel-in-the-slot machine in a drug store. “Number, please,” said the girl with eringly. He hesitated. “Aw, go and talk through your chest some more!” she told him and then cut him off without his nickel. At last the central girls became con vinced that there really was something In it. One or two of them experiment ed and told the others, but after a time the subject became tiresome. Every thing grows old in New York in a very short time, so the remark of the sub scriber that he was talking through his foot or head was answered with: “Aw, that’s an old one. Did you just get on to it?” The telephone officials didn't see any thing startling in the new mode. “It’s just a little fad in Manhattan,” an officer of the company said. “It is not new. In fact. I think some foreign engineer invented a transmitter which took its vibrations from the outside of the throat. It really shows what a sen sitive instrument the telephone is. The transmitter contains in an air chamber a diaphragm which vibrates with the vibrations of the voice. This action of the diaphragm modulates an electric current flowing through the circuit, which modulations are heard as sound at the other end. The transmitter is sensitive enough to react to vibrations coming through the chest or through any part of the body where vibrations may be felt.” Auction Bulletin. EVERETT ALLBEE’S SALE. t The undersigned residing on the farm known as the old Wilcox place, 3 miles south of Beetown, on the Potosi road, will offer for sale at auc tion, beginning at 10 o’clock a. m. on FRIDAY, JANUARY 24,19C8. The following described property. Six Head of Horses- One good brood marellyeais old; one mare 8 years old; three colts 1 year old, ant one colt 3 years old. 48 Hea or Cattle—l 7 milch cows coming fresh in the spring: 13 yearling si eers; 12 yearling heifers; six spring calves. About 15 head of good shoats. Grain,Straw. Etc.—About 800 bushels of corn; 200 bushels of oats’lso bushels of wheat and oats mixed; 75 bushels of barley, and a quantity of pood oats straw. Machinery.Etc.—One Deering binder; one 11 ft seeder; one 3 hors • riding plow; one 3 horse walk < plow; one 3-hoise disc; one disc cor a plow; one 6 shovel corn plow; one 4-»oise power and Challenge feed mill; one mower; one 10-ft. steel harrow; one spring wagon; one 2-seated surrey; one single buggy; one cutter, nearly new; one pair bob sleds; 160 ft. of hay rope with fork and pulleys; one hay rack: one wcod rack; one hog rack; about 800 ft. hardwood lumber; one tank heater; one iron kettle; one 200-egg incubator; about 10 bushels seed corn, and many other aitides too numerous to men tion. Lunch at noon. Terms —All sums of $lO and under cash; on all sums over that amount one year’s time will be given on bank able notes bearing 7 per cent interest. EVERETT ALLBEE. _ R. N. Hoskins, Auctioneer. W. A. Johnson. Clerk. ANDREW ZENZ’S SALE. The ’ undersigned, residing seven milesfsouthwesi of Lancaster and 1% miles southeast of Hurricane, having rented my farm, will sell at auction, beginning at 10 o’clock a. m., on TUESDAY, JANUARY 21, 1908, The following described property: 13 Head of Horses—l span gray high grade mares 6 yrs. old, weight 3050, bred to Sir Richard; 1 span gray hign grade fillies coming 3 yrs. old, sired by Lancaster Company Horse, weight 2800; 1 bay mare 10 yrs old, weight 1500, bred to Alabarch; 1 bay horse, weight l. r .oO, 15 yrs. old; 1 bay Alley coming 3 yis. old. sired by Rob Roy; 1 black Alley coming 2 yrs. old, weight 1100, sired by Pampolais, 1 bay gelding coming 2 yrs. old, weight 1100, sired by Rob Roy; 1 sorrel gelding 4 yrs. old, weight 1150, sired by Earl King; 1 gray gelding 14 yrs. old, broken to drive single; 1 bay gelding coming 3 yrs. old, trotting bred; 1 sorrel gelding 14 yrs. old, weight 1100; 1 % bred Clydesdale mare, 6 yrs. old, weight 1550. 22 Head Cattle—l 2 head are extra good pure bred Aberdeen Angus cattle, ot which 5 are cows; Icow 6 yrs, old: 1 cow 5 yrs. old; 2 cows 4 yrs. old; 1 cow 2 yrs. old. All safe in calf to Lucy’s Boy No. 100595. 7 pure bred Aberdeen Angus bull calves, good ones. One of these is 1 yr. old past, the rest coming 1 yr. in the spring: 2 high grade short horn cows, 1 coming fresh in the spring, and one beef cow; 3 grade Angus cows coming fresh in the spring; 1 grade Angus steer coming 2 yrs. old; 5 grade shorthorn steers com ing 2 yrs. old. 11 Sheep—Ten ewes; 1 pure-bred Oxford down buex. . 41 Head of Hogs—3o good brood sows; 10 late shoats 1 Poland China boar. 50 chickens. Grain, Hay, Etc.—soo bus. corn; 400 bu. oats; 10 bus. seed corn; 40 Machinery—l Deering binder; 1 Thomas hay tedder; 1 self dump Me Cormick hay rake; 1 standard corn plow, (riding;) 1 corn sheller; 1 gang plow; 1 14-in plow; 1 16 in plow; 1 No. 8 Diamond feed mill; 1 8-horse power; wagon, block wheel truck; 1 lumber wagon; 1 hay rack; 1 single buggy; 1 cutter; 1 beef windla s; 150-gal. churn good as new, 1 washing machine, 1 Little Giant steam feed cooker, and separator combined, 2 sets good work harness, 1 set light harness. 1 shovel plow and other things too numerous to mention. All sums of $lO and under, cash, over that amount one year’s time will be given on bankable notes bearing 7 per cent interest. Lunch at noon. ANDREW ZENZ. R. N. Hoskins, Auc. W. A. Johnson, Clerk. Spiders With Tails. The only insect which enjoys the luxury of a tail is a little spider found in the northeast of Tasmania. Tbit insect is a pale greenish brown in col or, and its body when full grown is just about the size of a sunflower seed. In times of peace the tail, which is three-eighths to a quarter of an inch in length, lies placid and straight, but when on the warpath it is drawn up into an angry, vertical position. The spider is, however, harmless, and the mosquito is its favorite diet. Its domestic life is a villainous one, for when old enough to assert its inde pendence it devours its parents and takes full possession of the parental web.—Melbourne Every Saturday. Cures Biliousness, Sick Headache, Sour Stom ach, Torpid Liver and Chronic Constipation. Pleasant to take RIDING THE SOUTH SEA SURF. Author’s Description Makes One Long to Participate. “[ shall never forget the first big wave I caught out there in the deep water. I saw it coming, turned my back on it and saddled for dear life. Faster and faster my board went, until it seemed my arms would drop off. What was happening behind me I could not tell. One cannot look be hind and paddle the windmill stroke. 1 heard the crest of the wave hissing and churning, and then my board was lilted and flung forward. I scarcely knew what happened the first half minute. Though I kept my eyes open, I could not see anything, for I was buried in the rushing white of the crest. But 1 did not mind. I was chiefly conscious of ecstatic bliss at having caught the wave. At the end of the half minute, however, I began to see things and to breathe. I saw that three feet of the nose of my board was clear out of water and riding on the air. I shifted my weight forward and made the nose come down. Then I lay, quite at rest in the midst of the wild -movement, and w r atched the shore and the bathers on the beach grow distinct. 1 didn’t cover quite a quarter of a mile on that wave, be cause, to prevent the board from div ing, 1 shifted my weight back, but shifted it too far, and fell dowm the rear slope of the wave.”—Jack London in the Woman'o Home Companion. How to Avoid Pneumonia. You can avoid pneumonia and other serious results from a cold by taking Foley’s Honey and Tar. ]t stops rhe cough and expels the cold from the system as it is mildly laxative. Refuse any but the genuine in the yellow package. J T. Bennett. Long-Winded Preachers. The seventeenth-century puritan preachers talked for two hours oi more, not ‘‘by the clock,” but by the hour-glass. At least one of them turned the glass to humorous account. He found himself no further than the middle of the sermon when the sands had run out. “Drunkenness” was his subject, and, reversing the horologe, “Let’s have another glass,” said he Sir Roger L’Estrange tells of a parish clerk who sat patiently ufitil the preacher was three-quarters ' through his second glass, and the majority ot his hearers had quietly left the church. Rising at a convenient pause, he asked the minister to close the church door when he had done, “and push the key under it, as he and the few that remained were about to retire.’* Eyelashes and Eyebrows. There is much beauty in long, silky, curved eyelashes. Men are proud of “beetling brows” fringed with fierce bristles. They fondly believe that such features indicate force of char acter backed up by immense brain, energy. In Circassia, and parts of India one of a mother’s earliest cares is to promote the growth of her 1 children’s eyelashes by tipping and re moving the fine, gossamer-like points with a pair of scissors when the youngsters are asleep. By repeating this every month or six weeks the lashes become long, close, finely curved and glossy.' This practice is said to be very useful in treating in flammation of the eyes, or granulated lids. Shaving will make the eyebrows thick and h°avv. A BEAU'i ir UL FACf Send stamp for Particulars and Testimonials of the remedy that clears the Comnlcxion, Removes Skin Imperfections, Makes New Blood and Improves the Health. If you take BEAUTYSKIN beneficial results are guaranteed or money refunded. chemical co., ~.. ... . n>. Dr. H. C. SECRIST The Specialist, 4712 Calumet Avenue, Chicago, 111. Can lie Consulted FREE at THE WEIGHT HOUSE, Lancaster, M® on TUESDAY FEB. 4th. Methods from Hospitals of Berlin, Germany and Paris, France. German and French Spoken. No pay unless Cured. All Medicines Furnished. ARE YOU SICK? lean and do positively cure any chronic disease that is curable. I give you the proof of this in hundreds of cured cases. If you are sick and come to me I will examine you absolutely Free of Charge. I will tell you frankly what can be done for you. Twenty years of experience as a specialist healing the sick make? it possible for me to cure, where other doctors who are not specialists fail. Those cases which I accept I positively GUARANTEE to cure. If Ido not cure you my services will cost you nothing. Isn t that a fair offer.'' Scores whom I have cured testify my charges for a perfect cure are reasonable. H. C. SECRIST M. D. □RIND Laxative Fruit Syrup For sale by J. T. Bennett TWENTY YEARS Experience as A SPECIALIST DR. REA AT LANCASTER, Wis. TUES. JAN. 28th. WRIGHT HOUSE Returning Every Mon th X ’ Dr. Rea has been educated in the bo hospitals of Europe and America. Consultation in Germa;., French, English He is eminently successful in all chroni diseases, as proven by the many cures tlia he has effected in cases which have baffle < tiie skill of physicians in lae general practic< of medicine His long aid continued prac lice and experience has made him so prof, cient that he can locate any disease in a lev minutes. Treats all curable, medical am surgical diseases of tlv eye, ear, nose ant throat. Early consumption,bronchitis, bron chltal catarrh, constitutional catarrh anc nasal catarrh. Liver, Stomach and Dowel Troubles dyspepsia, sick headache,gas on the stomach appendicitis, gall stones, constipation, and the many diseases dependent on weak anc inactive digestive system. ftidnsy and Bladder Troubles. Dia betes, bright’s disease, incontinence of the urine, burning urine and passing of the urine too irequently. . . Hervous Diseases. Neuralgia, sciatica nervous prostration, nervous debility, wer vous indigestion, paralysis and brain dis Slood and Skin Diseases, heart diseas es, dropsy, swelling of the limbs, open sores pain in the bones, rheumatism, enlarges veins, eczema itch, pimples and eruptions of all descriptions. Deformities and Club Fset, curvature of the spine, interrupted nutrition, slov growth in children, and all wasting disease: in adults. Cancer, Tumor, Tubercular Glands goiter, fistula, piles, varicose veins, ruptuj and all large glands treated successfully b: the hypodermic method. This is really on of the most scientific and effective plans c tiie twentieth century. . . iJiseases of Men. Failing memory, wea *»yes. lack of energy, nervousness, can’t sleci falling cf the hair, sore throat. Cured b modern treatment as adopted by America’ most eminent specialists. Diseases of Women. Headache, pains u the back, and other diseases which wome are subject to. Can be cured at home by system far superior to anything else. Drs. Rea Bros. & Co. guarantee absolut secrecy in all professional dealings. N cases treated by correspondence unless al sclutely necessary. DR. REA & CO., Nicollet Ave., Minneapolis. Mini Having an Object in Life. Nobody has any right to find lift uninteresting or unrewarding wh< sees within the sphere of his own ac tivity a wrong he can help to remedy or within himself an evil he can hopi to overcome.—C. H. Eliot. Simple Remedy for La Grippe. La grippe coughs are dangerous a they frequently develop into pnet monia. Foley’s Honey and Tar nc only stops the cough but heals an strengthens the lungs so that no sei ious results need be feared. The gen nine Foley’s Honey and Tar contain no harmful drugs and is in a yellot package. Refuse substitutes. J. T. Bennett. Cleanses the system thoroughly and clears sallow complexions of pimples and blotches. It is guaranteed