River Falls journal. [volume], December 06, 1872, Image 5

About River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019

Image provided by: Wisconsin Historical Society

                
OUR OLIO.
"I hia » the rook of ages,” said the
father, after rooking for two hours and
the baby still awake.
There is perhaps no time at which
we are disposed to think so highly of a
friend as when we find him standing
higher than we expected in the esteem
of others,
There is nothing like a good defini
tion. as a teacher thought when he ex
plained the meaning of-‘old maid” as
a Woman that had been made a very
long time.
A knowing one says that it may be
set down as a rule that the sentimental
young ladies who scratch off poems
about death an 1 the grave have holes
tn their stockings.
Don't mistake the tribute paid to
your woilth, office, or position, for trib
ute paid to you. Such tribute belongs
solely to the feathers—it has no refer
ence whatever to the fowl.
Under »he head of fashionable intelli
gence an exchange gives the following:
‘•Ladies bustles will he enlarged at the
end of the present month, by the addi
tion of one more newspaper.”
A one armed man in Salem. Mass.,
lately applied for a divorce on the
grounds that, the hand he had given
his wife in marriage, was lost, and that
the contract was therefore void.
There i« a nnn by the name of Will
iams, in Detroit, who ig one hundred
and fi'tv years of age. it is estimated.
Jle is s - i I hale and b< arty and can
pn'l h s boots on without spectacle?.
Tras’iblo oil gentleman. “What ilo
yon call this confounded stuff?” Wait
<tr. “It’s bean soup ’sir." Old gent.
“No matter what it has been, it's noth
ing but hot water and grease now.”
A woman raised to the third power
of widowhood has the photographs of
h n r three departed lords in a group,
with a vignctt<* of herself in the eenter,
and underneath is *he inscription, “The
Lord will nr ••(!<> ”
Celia V. i- «»-.« that one of the
u s' filar thin <s n n wo nan is the
<i itnrnloe- . ith which thev gravitate to
wards “oit-'-e in the opposite sex
T» l.i ; ra’hor seem that wav
s , ' Vli,.?
''' •>i • ’> •■>. -1 11 'ndulgent
father to his honeAii son the other
morning, ••remember it is the enrlv bird
that catches the worm ” “What dd I
care f»r worms?” stid the young hope
ful: “mother won't let. me go fishing.”
A Colorado mm. a few weeks wince
turned out his two horses, tied together
with a rope around the neck of each.
The next day one of them came home
draging the head of the other The
last hoard of the owner he was wander
ing over the prairie, raying he ‘ sup
I o«ed the <l—d animal was dead some
where” That is ju:t like some men.
to jump at conclusions without waiting
for evidence.
A detrvit urchin, hearing his mother
read rhtit apples were very wholesome,
ate seventeen large tail p pp ns the oth
er evening, and about midn ght the
□••if»h ors thought another Nathan
tragedy vas being enacted in the house
of this apple-eiter's parents The doc
tor said if the valve on his stomach
pump hid tfivett wty be’ore be had
emptied the youth, there would have
been a funeral instead us a sp .nkiug
matinee next, day.
An instance of rare honesty, and
showing how a dog may desire to pay
his board bill, recently occurred in
Fitchburg Mass. A lady saw a dog
frequently about, her house picking tip
odd bits which had been thrown out
and one day she ealed him in and fed
him The next day he came back, and
as she opened the door he walked in
and placed an egg on the floor, when
he was again fed. The following day
he brought, another egg to pay for his
dinner; but on the fourth day he
brought the old hen herself, who it
seems had failed to furnish the requir
ed egg
Snshi.G v« hiv uuiigvr oi catching
small pox by handling greenbacks, n
country editor congrtCulates himself
that he’? safe enough.
HARD ON THE MIN.
IST
A minister was traveling in the back
woods and espying a cabin, entered it
on a mission of mercy. The lady of
the house (she being present alone, and
rightly judging his errand) when she
saw him approaching seized the Bible,
and as h<* entered, was to all events,
busily engaged in perusing the volume.
He noticed, however, that she held the
letters reversed, or in other words up
side down. After the usual courtesies,
the minister inquired what she was
reading.
4, 0 h! ’bout the old prophets,” was
the evident self-satisfactory reply.
“It is very edifying to read the suf
fering of Christ,” said the minister.
“And so that man is dead, is he?”
asked the matron, evidently getting in
terested.
“Certainly he is.”
“Well, that is just the way. I’ve
been at John a long time to get him to
take the newspapers, but he won’t.
Everybody in the world might die, and
we would not know a word ’bout it,”
said the woman in a rapid tone.
“Ah! woman you are in the dark!”
said the preacher, with an elongated
face.
“Yes I know we are. I’ve been at
John a long time to put a window in at
the fur end of the house, but he won't
do that either.”
“I perceive that you are weak in
knowledge.”
“I know that I am weak; and I guess
if you had the billious fever, and had
been (akin’ sassafrax and cataract pills
as I have you’d be weak too,” replied
the woman, in rather an angry tone of
voice, and half au octave higher than
usual.
The minister passed on.
“John.” of the New York Sun, thus
spreads the pinions of his truthfulness:
“I swallowed the second joint of the
starboard codfish ball, and I thought of
wlmt a narrow escape I once had in a
f reign land It was in New Jersey,
where I had to wear an old iron grate
over my face of nights to keep the mus
quitocs from digging wells into my
hea l. Gnc night I awoke from a deep
trance. In my dreams I thought 1 had
married Miss Amelia .Spotted Tail
When I awoke 1 found I hadn't; but I
found a musquito at work at the grate
whetting his sucker on it preparatory to
sampling me, when swift Jersey justice
came to the rescue. The police rushed
in and arrested him for opening a bar
without a license, and that sayed me.”
The credulity of woman on the sub
ject of being loved is very great; they
often mistake a common liking fora
particular regard, and on this founds-1
tion build up castles in the air and fill
them with all the treasures of their,
bright hopes and confiding love; and
when so ne startling fact destroys the
visions, they feel as if the whole crea
tion were a blank to them, and they
were the most injured of women. It is
safer to be very skeptical on the sub
ject of being loved; but if you do make
the mistake, take all the blame to your
self. and save your dignity by secrecy,
il you cannot keep from loving.
e•»• ■« . ...
Henry Clay used to say that there;
were three classes of people with whom J
it was nevet safe to quarrel.
First—Ministers. For the reason
that they had pulpits from which they
Guild denounce me, and I had none i
from which to reply.
Second —Editors. For they had I
most powerful engines from which they j
could every day hurl wrath and fury
upon me, and I had none through which
to reply.
And finally; Women. For they
would have the last word anyhow.
A WEALTHY bachelor having had
one or two lawsuits for breach of prom
ise. now replies to any young Irdy who
wishes a few minutes’ private conversa
tion. ‘ No, you don't, madam. It cuts
me to be compelled to doubt the honor
ablenos of your intentions, but that
sort of thing is played out. My rule is
imperative, and if you have any busi
ness to transact with me, it mtr-t be in
(be pretence of two vituoe.«vt>
Ancient manuscripts were written
without accents, stops, or separation be
tween the words; nor was it until after
the ninth century that copyists began
to leave spaces between the words.
RIVER FALLS
INSTITUTE.
WINTER TERM BEGINS
DECEMBER
TENTH.
Since the circular was issued arrangements
have been made for teaching music.
Send for a Circular.
M. E. CADY, Prinsipal.
House Moving-
}.t C. HOLCOMB is prepared to raise or
'J, move buildings on short notice,
promptly and in good order. fd-tt
New Goods!
SANDERW At GREEN,
MAIN STREET - RIVER FALLS,
Dealer in
GROGEBIES
and
Provisions!
Keeps a general assortment of
Merchandise.
Wooden and Willow Ware.
Canned Fruit and
everything usually kept in a first class
GROCERY STORE,
The best quality of
TEA AND SUGAR,
All kinds of Fish and Salt fb-tf
“LIVERY stable. -
A. 11. LORD,
Main Street, - River Falls
Who is prepared, at all times, to furnish
parties wishing to ride with good
TURN OUTS
at reasonable rates.
R. S. FREEMAN,
Dealer in Drugs, Medicines, Paints,
Oils, Brushes. Stationery. Confection
ery. Tobacco’s, Cigars. Toilet Goods
and every thing usually kept in a first
clxss
Drug Store.
Prescriptions Carefully (''impounded.
Store first door North W. 11. -Sander
sonßiver FaPs. 16 16
BLACKSMITH BHoF7”
i*s Olson —All kinds of black
smithing, Plica as horse shoeing, ironing
wagons, sleighs, etc . done in neat work
ni iu like manner. Shop near Brackett
House. nlGtntt
S. D. Dodge,
Dealer in Hardware. Shelf Goods and Farm
ing i tensils of all kinds. A specie lily made
of the
Rewenoir Stoves*.
Manufactured by Hubbell Bro’s. Also, of
the famous John Deere
MOLINE PLOWS,
and the Excelsior Clothe..* Wringer, nny and
all of which articles are the best now in use
in this or nny other country. Store on
Main street, next door North of Jovbnai.
Office. n 6-10
i\ iioyt.
Iconic !• in Organs Pianos, Music Books
Sheet Music, and Musical Merchandise,
Broad street, Prescott, Win. vlfmlO
LUMBER!
Olds & Ijord at their Saw Mill at Glen
mont keep a full supply of Pine Lumber on
band, and can furnish to order, any length
upto sixty fe<t. Our lumber is of the
b.'St quality, and we sell for cash. Also,
PICKETS,
LATH & SLABS.
We cut slabs in good shape for common
fencing, and sell at reasonable prices. n 9
PRAIRIE MILLS,
ZfF Z>. P. SAUNDERS. — Having re
cently rented the e well known Mills, I am
now prepared to do custom or merchant
work in this line equal to the best .Mills in
the Northwest. A fair share of patronage
is solicited. • vlfinM
C. B. COX A. O. ABOBIWS.
JUNCTION MILLS.
BY C. B. COX <f CO.
First Class .Merchant Mills. The highest
cash price paid for wheat —Flour and
Fred constantly on hand and for sa e n 8
IL C PETERSON,
Boo* A Mhoe NYaker. —-Nhop on Main
cppiwitc Frank Miller's Harnews
v 1 fl nF
QTD A ITQQ* We h “* e just >««“«d
LJ 1 I LxTL L ijij Strauss' Walters in
Two Volumes, price $1 each in boards $5
each in cloth. The two volumes contain
over Forty Beautiful FFaltse*. worth at
least SBS in PIVADTHnV ’»>««<
form. In or- I’A V Vlll llj dering
from other dealers be particular to ask for
“Peters’ Edition of Strauss’ Waitses,” as it
is the only correct and complete edition.—
Address J. L. Pbtirs.TlT 4 T T7PO
Music Pub ,N. Y. WALIZbb.
J. A.'SHORT
Does Plaining and Matching, Scroll and
Resawing, makes all kinds of Moldings,
SASH, DOVRS, BLINDS,
also,
window and Door Frames-
Manufactures
Spinning Wheels,
Does Doot? Turning <Fc.
Pioneer Shop in River Falls. nl ly
RE.
11 0. HAVEN a Co.
Manufacturers end dealers in all kinds of
Furniture mattresses etc. They also keep
on hand
Coflinn*,
and furnish Metahc Burial L'uses on
short notice. fb.tf
THOM AS E. TUBBS,
General Insurance Agent,
RIVER FALLS, WIS.
$ .0,000,000.00 Assets Represented.
The best is the Cheapest.
LONG EXPERIENCE,
STRONG COMPANIES,
Fair Dettling;,
]6v-flntf Success the Sequel.
•T. I). .TKIMINIINGB.
Denier in
Drungt, Meiliehis, Stationery, Bruehex,
Perfumery wu Fancy Goode, Paintt,
Oils, Gias, and Putty, Pure
Mines, Liquors and Alco
hol for Medical Pur
poses, Tobaccos and Ciyars,
Black, Japan, Gunpowder and
Yoiiny Hyson Teas, also Tojs, Nuts,
Candy and all other articles umally kept in o
Drug an J Variety store.
DRUGS and MEDICINES.
PATENT MEDICINES,
I’liVttician't PreNrriptioiiM
“nmw” HToitii”
Chas. Lilis,
Ha* opened a new store at New Centerville
and keeps a general stock of Dry Goode,
Hats, Caps, Clothing, Groceries, Ao. He
has the best of
Ten *tn<l Col Toe.
And keeps everything that should bekept
in a country store. Goods sold at the low
est rates.
TcrniM.-CARII
He would respectfully invite the citiiens
of New Centerville and vicinity to call and
eve his goods, and get bargains. u‘2yl
BRICK ! BRICK !!
BUILD ER Saud CONTRA CTORS
Take Ikotlre.
I have engaged a first class brick muker
for the season, and otherwise prepared
myself to manufacture a No. 1 article of
Brick this season. I will haves kiln ready
for use by the Ist of June. Those wanting
to use brick will do well to give me a cull.
4«tf C. G. KNOWLES.
<Tnnest ion Iron Work**,
RIVER FA! IS. • WISCONSIN
any castings iu
1 ROUST
up to MOf) pounds, also eae'ings in
BRASS AND GUN METALS
Made to order
LATHE WORK AND
Finishing done by the hour or contract.
REAPERS AND THRESHERS
Of every dnacription on baud,
AND SCRAPERS
SLEIGH SHOES,
AND KETTLES,
Reltinp Furnished to order
?£7?A/S CASH
b ROT’NCE k CO
WINTER
TRADE.
BOHMTE BRO'S
Have just reeeited a very large ead •«•-
plate assortment of
New Goods
Fmbraoing a full line of
DRESS GOODS, CLOTHING.
HATS A CAI’S. BOOTS JA SHOES,
GROCERIES ate.
•&*We'have the beet selected stock rtt
River Falls, special attention has been
paid to the purchase and selection of this
Htock, and we are confident we shall be
able to suit all who may favor us withtbelr
patronage ; n both quality end prices
X-.ndi<*« Drean Gondsq
Of latest styles.
LINENS, BLACK. FANCY AND
JAPANESE SILKS. DRESS
TRIMMINGS, SATINS;
skirts; Av
HOUSE FURNISHING GOODS,
t
iOf every description. In fsot everything
; pertaiuiug.to the line of
Dry Goods.
PLAIN A FANCY CABSIMFRES
FANCY COATINGS, SCOTCH
SUITINGS. CLOTHS, LIN
ENS, JEANS, COT-
TON A DES.
We are prepared to manufacture anything
in the way of Gents' Clothing in the latest
styles. Persons wishing anything in this
lins would do well to give us a call. We
have, also a large and well selected etoch
of
READY MADE C OtHIRD,
i.iviber j
g-iTWs keep constantly Co bead a
large stock of nearly every kiud ot Loe *
her Also shingles and Lath, floors sod
Nash
A pTominebt feature tA cottutflbsn
this establishment is ths
TAILORING fIEPARTMEHT,
<». St. <. hAir-HIII,
who is a first class CfTTFR. .eperaf*aO
'hie d*p*r*.tu'ol o*'he b-t-t'a*** and *s>
rsn'sto gvw« samlacuu in sli ease*