River Falls journal. [volume], January 28, 1892, Image 3

About River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019

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glim f alls SontuiU.
C R. MORSE. Publisher.
RIVER FALLS. - - WIS.
"IMP EFFIE."
■ Imp Effie;" lacguarfe ou t express
The life that sparkles tn her eye*.
An 1 what If I must needs confess
That Effle Is not very wise?
Ber nonsense talked with blithesome air
Sweeter to me than wi-d m seems;
I love to see her toss her hair.
I love to hear her tell her dreams.
Near her philosopher* seem fool*.
; Tbetnoglc and Induct* .ti- chaff;
y rir* maxims, axioms, reasons rule*;
Evaporate in Effle'a laugh.
How coldly rigid and aloft
The finger posts of science shine.
When Effle'a digits warm ao l soft
Are playing at "hot hauls” with mins.
Bhe's very Ignorant, the net.
Of creed or d >gma old or rew;
She's very credclonm. and yet
Her artie’es of fafta are few.
To reverend men she's barely civil
Though prompt to succor th? forlorn;
She's duly fearful of the deviL
But sees no harm ia being born.
Not clear about tho "second birth."
She trusts ber sins will be forgiven;
And that when called to quit the earth,
She'll g >uj>, naturally, to Heaven.
Meanwhi.e. too fond. 1 fear, the rogue la
Of this world's vanities am pomps;
Thinks serious people “awful fogies;”
Nay. *acatn the:, solemn noses romp*
Leaps, tumbles, screams, to make them
quiver;
Shams stupid to exette their spleen;
Then how she titters! laird forgive her.
The little imp is scarce thirteen.
And even while I sermonixt her.
I sometimes ran t repress a sigh
To thick that Effle will grow wiser.
That Fffle wi.l grow old and die'
—Spectator.
NOT FOR HIM.
Didn't Want to Bo Another Little
Lord Fauntleroy.
Two or three years ago 1 was making
a pedestriai tour through the White
mountains. J had "flocked all alone by
myself,” glad of a solitary jaunt which
should take me away from the intenso
■train of business affairs which after a
long legal struggle had resuited in
making me a millionaire. I had chosen
the solitary clamber ui the great hills
on ray own legs by advice of a promi
nent physician, who declared I needed
physical exercise and mental rest. I
enjoyed every moment. The weather
had been cool and fine. Advanc
ing from Concord, which 1 made my
point of departure. 1 had gradually
followed the railroad course from town
to town, stopping at night wherever 1
happened to find shelter which seemed
promising, and I have always looked
back to the hospitality extended to me
In two or three of the farmhouses with
a pleasant wonder, for within them
dwelt such peace, purity, kindness and
consideration as one may often seek
for in vain among the mansions of the
cities.
The railway which now cutsthe road
into unpleasant sandbanks was in those
old days a hoped-for improvement, but
had not become materializ 'd in even so
much as the first rail; and that de
licious valley, in which all the sylphs.
Imps and fairies must have disported
themselves in the moonlightevery mid
summer festival, lay so quiet, so peace
ful so exquisit ly contrasted with the
anperb heights which rose towering
above, hail often so charmed me that
my soul was lifted in thanksgiving to
God for such a manifestation of tlis
eternal freshness and beauty.
I had just finished the last line o* a
song when 1 saw a boy, about thirteen
or fourteen years old, sitting upon a
stone, crying as if his heart would
break. He was small for his age. I
could see at once. He was singularly
handsome, llis curly brown head was
noble iu form, he was fair in complex
ion, his features were almost classic.
His feet were bare, red, swollen and
scratched, but the insteps were slen
der. the nails delicate and the ankles
not those of a country-bred lad. In a
moment 1 noticed that his clothing was
fine, and although simple, elegant in
cut and make, while his stockings aud
shoes were equally good. He was
dusty and badly burned, his hands red
and sore with constant exposure to the
sun. llis appearance astonished me,
and I said to him;
“A rather jolly morn ng to be weep
ing like that, seems to me!”
He started anil looked up through a
pair of deep brown eyes so strangely
melancholy that fcr a moment he
seemed like an old man. lie ceased
crying’, but sat still, not answering a
word, bomethiog within him, some
thing within me, was at that moment
touched to instantaneous life. I felt
bat 1 loved the lad. 1 have often won
dered what it was that made me sud
denly sit down beside him. put my arm
around h m and pat bis head, f was
lon*.' past forty, I was a bachelor. I
hadn't very many friends, for I had not
been rich until a week be fore. My life
bad been a long, hard struggle, a
serious, earnest work toward a grave
end. and into my existence had crept
but few flowers of affection and but
one root of love.
“I guess.” sail I, Yankee fashion,
“that you and I are .• pretty lonesome
pair of fellows, somehow.”
He 1. joked me in the eyes a moment
and then impulsively hid his face in my
breast, while one arm stole around my
neck.
“I am,” said he; “I’ve been lonesome
ever since I was born.”
Well, so had I. Maybe that was the
link that joined us. 1 ha i had no home;
no father, no mother. I was a self
nude man, what there was of me, un
til that fortune had come. So I said
the truth simply; “t-o have I.”
“Have yon’. ’ he erb-d, eagerly.
“Then you will understand! Yon will
know all about it! You will not blame
me. Yon w ill tell me what to do.”
“Why should I blame you, my boy?
What have you done?”
“I have ruu away —more than a hun
dred miles."
He lo -ked at me doubtfully, wistful
ly, to see how I would take it. 1 took
It coolly. “Hoys often do that,” 1 an
swered.
He looked a little crestfallen —not so
much of a hem. Hut in a moment, try
ing to justify himself, he asked:
“What makes 'em?”
“I’snaUy a harsh, unkind father; too
much whipping: too much work, too
little play; or else, cheap story papers."
“Aiv they never lonesome enough to
die? Don't that make ’em. ever?”
“I never heard so. Did it you? Come,
you had better tell me all about It.
You see I've been about so myself."
He wiped his bonny face, sat down
on an old log and said: “My trouble is
our family. You see we are real folks.
My great-great-grandfather was some
body awful grand and rich. He was
father's side, you know. Then his
mc’her was an Endicott, I've heard
about her and her father and his moth
er being awful rich and grand ever
since 1 was in my crib Then mother
She is a straight descendant of the
Derercaux of Uatrmerstead. They Lad
earls and barons and dukes and things
all back to William. They call him
WiU'.am the Conqueror, but I call hi.n
old Bill. I hate him! And mother’s
folks were linked in. somehow, with
the ’old Sqnire Leith’ family. Ob 1
guess I shan’t forget the names! I've
heard 'em nine thousand seven hundred
and forty times. So if you can make
out r. ho I am, 1 can t, for I am so
masy boys in one that I feel just like
a plum-pudding. The raisins are the
Endlcotts and the currants are the
leven aux, and the citron the Leiths.
ind the spice the dukes and things.
»nd th> floftr the rest of 'em, and they
arc a.; rolled into me. And Im the
last i t the whole lot, and I’m lone
some.”
I think 1 should have laughed till I
burst u.y buttons if 1 bail not perceived
that he was very much in earnest. I
Ja«l said sia-.ply. in a sympathetic tone,
r*. m-a the vocabulary of my boy
bo k: “That it tough.”
“isn’t it?” said he. ’’Sow 11l tell
you the rest of it Seeing that all our
people were so rich and grand, some
time ago, you know—say a few hun
dred years—father's a clerk in a store
now and mother dress-makes—she has
to —we are not very well off—l haven’t
been common enough to go to school
with the other boys. I’ve had to have
lessons with a Miss Madison. She is
an old maid, and she teaches a few
girls, and me. because we are very tony
children.”
He snuggled up to me a little more
confidentially. "I was the only boy in
that school. Wouldn't you be lone
some? Aud both mother and father
have just worked their heads off to
dress me up so I could go to that girl
baby school. You can see, sir. your
self, if I'm not a straight descendant of
the Devereaux! Just look at this!’*
He pulled the front of his jacket
open, and within I could see a delicate
silk shirt, on which was embroidered
an elaborate monogram. "There!” he
exclaimed, "do you suppose any decent
boy would play with such a fool rigged
fellow as that? If I stripped off my
jacket I'd get laughed at till I’d never
play again. This mean old shirt has
kept me out of more fun than a little.
And that's the way with every single
thing, f can’t bathe, for fear the heir
of some old stuffy ancestor that's been
just like John Brown’s body, molder
iog in the ground for years, will get
drowned with Tommy Striker in the
same duck-hole! And I can't row and
fish, tweause all the boys will go toa
And our folks ain't rich enough to have
me ride in a carriage and really go with
other heirs to old grand and rich peo
ple. so I'm just cut out of every bit of
fun in this world, and the boys laugh
at me and the girls pity me, and I ain
miserable—so lonesome I don't know
what to do.”
"But you had been standing this
6ort of thing a good while —what made
you start up and run away?”
"Little Lord Fauntleroy,” he an
swered, with perfect scorn.
"What?” 1 ejaculated, in amaze
ment.
"Yes, little Lord Fauntleroy and my
curls. Here they are!” and he pulled a
roll of paper out of his trousers pocket,
from which he drew a dozen or fifteen
beaut. !ul long brown curl* They were
evidently cut off with a pair of dull
scissors.
“I cut 'em off the night I ran away,”
he went on, half triumphantly, half
ruefully. 1 hing of curls on a boy over
thirteen.”
"But you were small for your age,”
said I, soothingly.
“Yes. that was some comfort! But
I’ll tell you. Mother never would let
me cut ’em off. 1 teased and teased as
soon as I was ten, to go to the barber
and 1“ shingled like other boys, but
she never would. I had a birthday
about two weeks ago, and mother
bought me a present She don't often
have time to read books, but this one
was at out an earl’s grandson, called
Little Lord Fauntleroy, and as soon as
she looked at the pictures she wanted
to read it. 1 lien wbat must she do hut
get me up a suit just like this! She is
a dress-maker, you know, and she
can make almost anything she likes.
She did't try it on to me, for I guess
she knew I wouldn't like it, but last
Sunday she made me put it on and took
me to church. I believe I never was
so mad. 1 cried. 1 hate to ery, but I
was so mad 1 couldn't help it I looked
exactly like the earl's grandson, and I
suppose mother was proud; but look
here, sir! 1 expect to be an ancestor my
self one of these days, and I don’t want
to lie a duke ancestor or an earl ances
tor! I want to be an American ances
tor and make iny own money and be
like other men! I’m an American boy,
and ain't going to wear velvet suits and
long curls!”
His oratory was punetnated with
tears and flushes of anger, and his
rough cropped head bobbed with vehe
mence. 1 confess I sympathize with
him with all my heart.
"Go on,” said I, "tell the rest.”
"In church it wasn't quite so bad. but
In Sunday-school all the whole school
laughed. The brys in my class were
just tickled to death. They knew they
had it on ine good, and Monday they
could call me anything they pleased.
But I was bound they shouldn't. All
tiie afternoon I sat and thought <t over,
and I determined to run away and
earn my own living, and cut off my
curls and never go back till I could
show ’em l could get rich and grand
myself, just being my own self.and no
body's great-greai-grand son s.t aIL”
"Was that last Sunday?" said I.
"Yes, and I've walked and walked. I
rode in the cars a great ways, until I
thought I had gone far euough. I
wore my old clothes and I cut of my
hair before I got on the train. I guess
nobody can Cud me now.”
"What do you mean to do to earn
your living? - ’ said I.
"Oh! work in a farmhouse, I guess,
at first I’ve asked along, quite often,
if they wouldn’t like a chore Loy, but
nobody seemed to.”
"And if you don’t get a caance?” I
questioned, a little anxiously.
"That was what I was crying about!”
he said, his face looking very blue in
deed.
"Don’t you suppose your father
and mother are distracted by this
time?”
"Oh! no. I wrote and told ’em I was
sick and tired of being a girl-baby boy
and I was going to start out and be a
man.”
"I am afraid that will not console
them for your loss," 1 remarked,
gravely. But 1 added: "I have some
thing to tell you which I fear will
make you dislike me very much. lam
astonished at it myself, and I don’t
know as I ought to acknowledge it
without apologizing, but the fact is I
have been studying up the Endicott,
Howard. Devereaux and Leith fami
lies you spoke of, and 1 ain pretty sure
your father’s name is Edmund How
ard. while your mother's name was
Henrietta Devereaux. Your name is
Endicott Howard, and mine is—”
He looked as if thunderstruck. Then
he said, in a very soft voice: "Are you
one of the family, sir?"
"I feel obl'ged to own that I am.
much as 1 know it will prejudice you
against me. lam cousin to your moth
er. and. just like you. *1 am one of
those descendants of grand rich peo
ple who have to be so. whether they
like it or not, for 1 was born a Deve
reaux.”
He mused over this information for
some time, then with eyes glowing with
hope, he exclaimed: "But you are a
self-made man. ain't you? An Ameri
can man?”
"Whatever I am was self-made, my
boy. but there Is one thing yet that I
must own up. 1 hope you won't think
it very bad, indeed. 1 am rich, very
rich, and it is all due to that lot of old
ancestors of ours, who came over with
•old BilL”*
Endicott Howard looked at me as
kance and with proper disgust But
after a little he brightened up aud
leaning very close to me uttered in a
loving voice: "1 don’t care! You are
a regular brick, anyhow, aud I'm glad
I've met you. ”
It is needless to say that after this
we became great friends. I invited
him to join me on my tramp, but soon
seeing the little fellow was very tired
I hired a farmer to take us ou to the
Profile house, and from there, after
due persuasion, dispatched an explana
tory letter to his parents which en
lightened them as to our relationship,
and the fact that with their permis
sion I would take charge of their son
for the term of his school vacation and
then return him safely to their abode.
Having given them the address of my
lanker, and being myself somewhat
well known in their city. I was happy
to receive two tearful and character
istic letters, giving me full powers to
take Endicott "around the mountains,”
and around the mountains we went,
seeing everything that was to be seen
and enjoying each other's companion
ship until I may safely say we loved
each other very dearly.
Our arrival at my cousin's was cer
tainly fell of interest. » had tried by
frequent letters to hint and suggest
that the boy was very manly in his
ideas, if he was small In person, and
that the patriotic loyalty and Independ
ence manifested at every turn should
be fostered instead of repressed. In
fact, before the end of our journey I
had determined to make him my heir,
or at least 1 concluded that as the last
of our family he was most entitled to
its "grandeur and riches,” but I heart
ily approved of allowing him to be
come "a self-made man” —“an Ameri
can gentleman"—in his own stout,
brave way. The public school was
good enough for him and association
with other boys of good record seemed
to me to be the proper thing.
Slowly and one by one I had deli
cately put these ideas into two rather
shallow heads (if I may be permitted
to call them so), and 1 was not quite
prepared for the kind of reception we
received.
Being as I was the head of the
Devereaux family, and haviug come
into possession of the family fortune, I
am sorry to say I was counted by Kudi
cott’s mother and father as almmt too
great and good for human nature's
daily food. The dinner was a ban
quet, served on china with the family
monogram in gilt and colors. The room
was decorated with six large family
coats-of-ar:ns; the chair I sat in had an
earl's coronet embroidered on the tidy;
and—alas for such extravagence!—a
footman in livery and a butler in even
ing suit had l>eeu hired for the occasion
The conversation was constantly led to
the historic glories of our ancestors,
and both my cousin and her husband
seemed to have reached the apex of
earthly pride when I formally an
nounced my desire to educate their son
with a view to his future prospects.
Great was the abashment, however,
when I declared that his fortunes
would depend upon their common sense;
and his exclamation, as he stood wav
ing his hand about the room: "You will
have to cut all this!” nearly reduced
his mother to tears.
But in time better counsels prevailed,
and to-day I have just made up a party
to do the mountains once more. This
time my cousin and her husband, with
their son, will be my guests. Endicott
is now “going on” seventeen. He is
tall, lithe, athletic and manly. He can
play baseball, swim, row, Dlay tennis,
ride a "safety” and "study like a house
afire.” He takes ten-mile walks with
me and talks of hard work at some
good trade, which he declares is the
best stand-by a boy can have in life.
He has won the regard and admiration
of the boys in this town, and the girls
certainly no longer pity him, while my
bachelor heart, with its feeling of
lonliness, seems full of a new cheerful
ness, too, which always seems to come
flooding in when I hea • the boy’s mer
ry laugh.
I keep the curls. They are treasured
by me iu a small carved ivory box.
Why? Well, Endieott’s Aunt Edith,
his father's sister, was that root of
love which has grown with my growth
and branched into every fiber of my
being. She went away in her beauty
when only eighteen—and her curls—her
curls were exactly like his. 1 know,
for 1 have worn one next my heart for
all these years.—Cora L. Daniels, in
Springfield, (Mas.,) Republican.
"BOUNCED" BY A WOMAN.
▲ Conductor • Hough Experience in Eject
ing » ramnigrr.
The following, which relates a true
incident, shows that a street car con
ductor should have muscle a- well as
tact in order to get along with the
various kinds of people he is brought in
contact with daily. It was au Ogden
avenue conductor who said: "Most of
our difficulties are with passengers who
have been drinking and who are really
looking for trouble, for you know it is
not hard to quarrel with a man who
insists on it. Besides, wc have certain
rules and regulations we must follow,
and there is where the clash comes.
Men who refuse to pay their fares or
who make themselves unpleasant to
other passengers are met with quite
frequently, But of all the unpleasant
characters we have to deal with, the
intoxicated woman is the most to be
dreaded. One night last winter we
were coming out rather late. Two
women sat on one side, next tho car
door, and a young gentleman and lady
on the opposite side. One of the
women opened the car door and let the
cold wind blow in. The young gentle
man closed it. This was repeated sev
eral times, when I was called upon to
right matters. The woman was just
drunk enough to be mean, but in no
wise helpless but I felt it my duty to
put her off the car, and 1 led her to the
rear platform for that purpose. There
1 met with a surprise, for instead of
putting her off she made a sudden
movement that landed me on the pave
ment, while she returned to her seat.
They can talk about the woincu being
the weaker sex if they want to, but I
tell you the term doesn't app’y to a’l of
them. Now that colored woman over
there in the corner is intoxicated anu
has been sayiu. coarse things, but if
you stir her up she'll say lots worse.
The easiest way Is the best way with
such people." Just then the colored
woman signaled the conductor to stop
the car. She consumed a great amount
of time in gett ng off the ear. and just
as her foot was on the last step the ear
began to move forward, when she
glowered at the conductor, saying:
"Look a here, you monkey-faced nickel
snatchcr, don't you start your old car
quite sq soon or I’ll take you off your
perch and make you look like you'd
been run through athrashin' machine.”
—Chicago Herald.
A Spider Kuined » Nation.
When the French quartermaster,
Disjonval. was confined iu the prison
by the Dutch at Utrecht he sought to
beguile the tedium of his prison life by
attentively studying the habits of the
spiders which frequented his cell; and
eight years of imprisonment gave him
leisure to be well versed in their ways.
In December of 17U4 the French army,
on whose victory over the Dutch de
pended Disjonval's restoration to lib
erty. was in Holland, aud the victory
seemed certain if the frost, which was
then of unprecedented severity, con
tinued. The Dutch euvoys had failed
to negotiate a peace, and Holland was
despairing when the frost suddenly
broke. The Dutch were now exulting,
and the French generals prepared to
retreat; but the spiders of Disjonval's
cell forewarned him that the thaw
would be of short duration, and he
knew that his little insect weather
monitor never deceived him. Accord
ingly he contrived to communicate his
weather knowledge to the army of his
countrymen, and its generals, who
duly estimated his (Disjonval's) char
acter. relied upon his assurance that
within a few days the waters would
again be frozen so as to be passable to
the French troops. They delayed their
retreat; within twelve days a sharp
freeze set in and the French army tri
umphed. Disjonval was released, and
a spider had brought ruin to the Dutch
nation. —St. Louis Republic
rVr«>ptlv« Appffxmnre*.
There is in the English navy a fa
inous aud valiant admiral, who, when
he is on shore, likes to take his ease in
his handsome house iu Bulgravia, at
the west end of London.
Not long ago. on a pleasant after
noon. the admiral sat in front of his
residence, in a somewhat neglected
costume, smoking a pipe.
A policeman came past and looked
at him hard. The admiral paid no at
tention.
"Look ’ere!” said the policeman,
presently. "Do you belong to the
’ouse. you know?"
"No*” said the admiral; "the 'ouse
belongs to me. you know!” —Youth's
Com pan ion.
—How It Happened.—“ Hello, Wal
leigh. I hear you are broke.” "Yep."
"How .lid it happen?” "Put all my
money on a ‘flyer’ in stocks" "Well?”
"It flew.” —Detroit Free Press
DONKEYS AND DOGS.
How ■ Humana Woman «ut>«truted th*
Former for the Latter.
Americans who travel through the
Netherlands or the French provinces
are shocked at the cruelty with which
animals are treated by these otherwise
humane and kindly peoples. Dogs are
used by the poorer class as beasts of
draught. Instead of horses and mules,
and it is not uncommon to see a half
starved cur, its bones almost protrud
ing through its skin, dragging a huge
cart, in which, on top of the load, sits
the lazy owner, swearing and cracking
his whip.
A pleasant story In connection with
this custom is told in a Belgian village.
Abort twenty years ago Mile. Louise
lived in this town. She was the daugh
ter of a French physician, a girl of
eighteen, not remarkable for beauty,
talent or wit; but she wanted to do
some good in the world.
She had at one time vague plans of
going to Greenland as a missionary,
but her health was not strong enough.
One day she saw a peasant named
Cartier beating hid dog brutally neur
her gate. The dog was weak and half
fed, and bleeding from his wounds; the
load was enormous.
She could do nothing. The man had
no sense of pity. The dog was his
property, and he hud a legal right to
beat it to death :! he chose.
But some*’uing she resolved to do.
This one little wrong she would try to
set right. She was a shrewd as well aa
a humane girl. She saved something
from the little allowance given her by
her father until she was able to buy a
stout donkey, and have money enough
besides to buy the peasant’s dog. Then
she bought the dog from Cartier, and
offered to let him have the donkey at a
very low rate, on condition that tb oar
gain should be aunulcd the moment ho
bought another dog or abused the
donkey.
Her young friends laughed at her.
After all she had rescued from misery
only one dog among thousands. But
the story was told throughout the vil
lage. It received favorable comments
from liotli rich and poor. “Donkeys,”
thought the latter, "undoubtedly are
stronger than dogs; has Mademoiselle
I* any more that can be hired outhe
same terms?”
The elders in the community, good
people, and humane at heart, gave
more thought to the fact that the dogs
were cruelly tortured. The abuse had
been going on for centuries. Now that
this girl had done something to abate
it, why should they not join In her ef
fort?
A year had hardly passed before sev
eral of the prominent citizens of the
village had uuited to buy strong mules
or draught horses, which were hired
on reasonable terms by the laboring
men, and the sense of humanity thus
wakened began to show itseltiu kindly
acts toward man as well as beasts.
The town is now the only one in the
Netherlands in which no dogs are har
nessed. T here are in it also two asy
lums and u hospital, the outgrowth of
the wider, deeper Christian feeling
kindled by the simple acts of one earn
est woman.
We may not have strength, ability
or opportunity to do u great work for
God iu the world, hut there is always a
little task ready for us to take up, that
is uear at hand. He does not deny us
that. Let us do it.—Youth’s Compan
ion.
A GOOD AND CHEAP FOOD.
Whole Wheat ami How Co t ook It to Make
It Wholesome.
The structure of a grain of wheat is
marvelous in symmetry and orderly as
a fine piece of architecture. Protected
by six coats, so as to keep for three
thousand years, it incloses a hotly made
up of polished germs and granules of
starch and gluten inclosed by con
nective fibrous tissue in bundles or cells
built ou the principles of spherical
geometry. Each bundle fits its fellow
perfectly. The gluten cells which form
the sixth coat are beautifully ranged
around, aud remind one of the lovely
Norman arches in England. Under po
larized light the starch becomes a thing
of beauty and joy. When cooked prop
erly starch does not polarize light.
Hence a test of cooking.
When one considers the admirable
protection coats of wheat it seems
strange to remove all these coats and
expose the body unprotected so long be
fore use as is done. We don’t to so with
potatoes, tomatoes, onions, etc. Hence
the idea that whole wheat cleaned is a
good article of food. It is found that
the flavor is excellent and np vetizing
even when eaten raw, as the old Roman
soldier did, and got the full amount of
mineral matter that our Creator intend
ed should be got when wheat was eaten.
It saves money and health. Four parts
of cold water to one part of whole
wheat (cleaned iu a smutting-mill)
steame d in an all-double boiler
for ten or more hours gently and
continuously, then served with butter,
cream or milk and seasoned with salt,
makes a dish of vegetable food fit for
kings and queens or the sovereigns in a
republic. In all eleemosynary institu
tions, hospitals, asylums camps, ships,
or prisons it Is a concentrated and
cheap diet, building up the nervous
system, teeth and bones. Even dogs,
who are carnivorous, fed on wheat
thrive, and fed on flour died in forty
days. The objections to the hull I
have found to be fallacious after care
ful morphological examinations. The
process of cooking may lie shortened by
cracking the whole wheat in a coffee
mil) beforehand.—Ephraim Cutter, in
N. 0. Delta.
SHE WOULDN’T LISTEN.
An<l the Frlen.llr Htrsncer Merely Had
Ilia Labor for Ilia l'alna.
"Madam,” said a man on a Trumbull
avenue car to the mother of a crying
baby, “did you ever g.ve the little one
a drop of gin—”
"No. sir, I never did. and more than
that I never will! And I don’t thank
anybody for advising me to give my
baby gin," snapped the mother.
"You-re in too much of a hurry, mad
am," persisted the man, "1 was going
to suggest that a little hot gin—”
“And I am surprised, sir," inter
rupted the woman, "that a inan of re
spectable appearance like yourself
should want an innocent child to begin
drinking gin ”
"Will yon allow me to finish what I
wanted to say, madam. Why, I give
my own daughter gin—”
“Well, you can't give it to mine.
Conductor let me out! This man insists
upon advisiug me to give tr.y child
gin—”
"Yes—ginger lea fo>- the colic,"
shrieked the man getting in the last
word as the woman plunged out of the
car. —Detroit Free Press.
Her Heart'* l>«nrr.
There comes a time once iu every
year when children may without im
propriety give their loving friends a
hint in season.
Uncle William was talking with
Lucy, hia best little niece, about Christ
mas. He wished to know her mind
upon a certaiu highly-interesting sub
ject, but preferred to get at it indi
rectly.
"Now, »jucy." said he. In a casual
manner, "if 1 were goiug to buy a doll
for a little girl, what kind of i one do
you think she would like?”
"O, Uncle William," answered Lucy,
with undisguised interest, "there is
nothing like twins!”—Youth's Compan
ion.
IN* Imputation.
A seedy-!.-oking citizen passed by an
office window on Woodward avenue
where a couple of men were looking
out,
"Isn't that Bill Smith?” inquired one
of them, evidently not a resident.
"Yes. He used to be quite a politi<flan
when you were here, but hi* reputation
is completely lost now.”
"Is that so? Well, if it was anything
like it was when I kuew him I should
think it would have made a good deal
better man of him to have lexi it"— l>c
troit Free Press.
PITH AND POINT.
—Some men give a train of thought
too light a load for smooth ruuuing.—
Columbus Post.
—No matter how small the scandal
there's always enough of it to go
around.—Elmira Gazette.
—Some of those born great appear to
be trying very earnestly nowadays to
live it dowu.—lndianapolis Journal.
—"What did you get for your birth
day?” “A watch-chain.” Where is it?
Let’s see it.” "Can’t. It's with the
watch.”—Jewelers’ Circular.
(‘There is plenty of room at the
top.” That may account for the num
l»cr of young business enterp- ises we
read of "going up.”—Yorkers States
man.
—Marriage seems never so much a
failure to a man as when something
goes wrong at home that he can't pos
sibly blame on his v ife. Atchison
Globe.
—Didn’t Suit Her.—Briggs—"l see
that Granby had to send back the mar
ble statue of liis wife that lie ordered.”
Griggs—“Why? Didn't she like it?”
llriggs—"No; she wanted one made
wearing a sealskin cloak."—Cloak Re
view.
Why She Read It.—Laura—"Do
you like that book you are reading?”
Flora—" No. 1 think it is insufferably
stupid.” Laura—Then why do you
read it?" Flora —"Oh, everybody is
rending it now. That’s why."—Yankee
Blade.
—Phrenologist—"Your hump of im
agination is abnormally large, sir. You
bhould write poetry." Visitor—“l do
write poetry. Only yesterday I took a
poem to an editor, ami that bump you
a e feeling is where he hit me. Don't
bear on it so hard.”—Tid-llits.
Deacon Jones (solemnly)—“My
young friend, do you attend a place of
worship?” Young Man—" Yes, sir,
regularly, every Sunday night.” Dea
eon Jones —"Pray tell me where you
go to worship Young Man—"l’m on
my way to see her now.”—Demorest *
Magazine.
—Moved llie City.—Stranger—’’Why.
I thought "Cither City” was located
here?” Native—" Well, stranger, it
was located here, but last week news
came that a railroad was goin’ to come
ulong eight miles north, so the whole
city moved over to be on the line.”—N.
Y. Herald.
—Servant (to professor who is very
busy with an experiment)—“Excuse
ine, professor, but I take the liberty of
calling your attention to the fact that
it was twenty-five years ngo, from this
lay, that 1 entered your service.”
Professor —“But. my dear man, must
this be ’list to-day?”— h liege ml o Blatter
—Literati’ Didn't Start Them.—
Eastern M -"Yes, sir, it's a shame
the waythif sensational juvenile litera
ture is turning the heads of boys, and
sending them west to fight Indians.”
Western Man—" Did you ever meet any
Indian fighters?” “No. Why?” "Noth
ing. Only most of them can’t read.”—
Street & Smith's Good News.
—The Proper Size.-Student—"We
want badges for orr graduating elass.
W’e have adopted as a design a graduate
surveying the universe." Jeweler—
" About how large would you like tho
figures?” Student —"1 think the grad
uate should cover about three-fourths
of the badge and the universe the re
mainder.” —Jewelers’ Weekly.
—That Made a Difference.—Twynn—
"l wish you would lend me five dollars.
Triplett. 1 want to go out of townVf
Triplett—"Here it ts. Are you going
to bo gone long?" Twynn—"No, I’ll
be back to-morrow. Triplett (replac
ing the bank note in his pocket)—“On
second thought I find I shall l eed it
uiyself.”
FUN ON AN “L” TRAIN.
A Corfu! of Pm»»n*pn K«l>t Konriiii; with
I.KiiKiiter by a Harpittt.
When the ‘2:110 a. m. train on the Sixth
avenue elevated road reached Park
place the other morning a man carry
ing a covered harp boarded the train
with the heterogeneous orowd that was
standing on the platform without at
tracting particular notice.
Just as the train started he put his
hands under the cloth that covered his
instrument and began to play softly
some Italian music.
Two other men were seated on his
right, and the only woman on the train
sat lieside the furthermost one, who was
evidently her escort.
When the train reached Grant street
the soft strains of "Martha” gradually
died away, and suddenly the perhaps
less classic but more modern tune of
“Mary and John”smote the ears of the
passengers. The catchy air soon proved
that it had not yet lost its popularity
among a certain class of belated and
hilarious young men who were near the
player, for several of them began to ac
company him, thus reversing the order
of things somewhat.
A few seconds later a female voice,
strong and clear, broke in and wns dis
tinctly heard above th i more volu
minous but less strident voices of the
young men.
All the passengers forthwith craned
their necks to look at the woman, who
did not not seem to be of the kind that
would join such an improvised concert
in such a place. Everybody laughed
except the woman, who blushed a crim
son red. No one could see her lips
move, and as it happened—perhaps for
the first time in her life—her month
was closed. She was evidently greatly
embarrassed at d turned from her es
cort to the crow l of astonished passen
gers and finally looked under her seat..
All sorts of exclamations of astonish
ment went forth.
"She’s a mighty good ventriloquist,”
one said.
"I'll bet she’s got a whistle in her
mouth,” another exclaimed.
The passengers were now all roaring
with laughter.
“Fourteenth street!" called the con
ductor.
The woman got up. "John," she
said, almost hysterically. "I am not go
ing to stand this any longer. Let’s get
out. Come!”
John went.
When they were out of sight the fe
mala voice was still treating the crowd
to a rather risque dialogue between
Marv and John.
An investigation was set on foot, when
it was discovered that the harpist,whom
people at first thought an Italian,while
laving his head nonchalantly on the left
aide of his harp, as lazy Italians are
wont to do, was imitating n female
voice so perfectly as to completely de
ceive e very body.
Another outburst of laughter fol
lowed, when the harpist lazily Hnd un
concernedly got up aud left the train at
Eighteenth street, apparently unaware
of the fun he had been making at the
woman's expense. —N. Y. Herald.
HE WAS REBUKED.
A V*nmiei!K*r Who Wnn Hound the <on.
dactor should Attend to Hl* Bunin—.
He was a new street car conductor
running his third or fourth trip, and he
felt very smart in his new suit and in
clined to make th'e most of the authority
vested iu him as conductor of that car.
He was young and highly susceptible
to the blandishments of a couple of
pretty shop-girls who were disposed
toward a flirtation. In the middle of
the car sat a stout, elderly colored wom
an. who suddenly reached up to the bell
rope and gave it » sharp jerk.
“Will you have the kindness to let
that bell rope alone, madam?” said the
conductor sharply.
“Will yo’ liab de kin’ness, den, to
’t.*ml to yo" business, sah, so dat a lady
Kin git off'n de car when she desire to,
sail, without the trouble of riugin de
bell her own se'f? La, chile, I was
erlive fo' yo' was baun, en I tell yo’ vo'
got a heap ter I’arn yit’bout how to
treat de ladies. Ise rid in boss cahs so
yo' ebah gib up yo' nussin bottle, an I
know jess what yo’ jewties are, en If
yo' cayn’t 'tend to ’em yo’ ownse’f Ise
wilHr* ter he'p "o’ out a little. Good-by,
boy. I gets off beau." —Detroit Free
Press.
DOMESTIC CONCERNS.
—A thin slice of raw fat pork dusted
with cayenne pepper is a splendid rem
edy for sore throat.
—lt la said that after clean 1 n? closets,
»f borax be sprinkled around the edges
of the shelves and floors, one will not
be troubled with roaches.
—Walnut Drops: One pound of wal
nut meats, half a pound of sugar, the
white of one egg: cook all togeD.er,
roll in balls and set to cool on bid c-red
plates.—l'arm and Fireside.
—Koxbury Cake: Two cnp'uls of
sugar, three cupfuls of flour, two
tliirds cupful each of butter and milk,
four eggs, one teaspoonful of baking
powder. This makes two small loaves
or one large one.—Hood Housekeeping.
—Cocoanut Creams: Finch off a
large piece of the “dough" and knead
the grated cocoanut into it until thor
oughly mixed. Roll out about three
quarters of an inch in thickness and
cut in squares or bars. I’ut on paraf
fine or buttered paper to dry.—Boston
Budget
—Old Virginia Waffles: Mix a quart
of milk and six tablespoonfuls of flour
with two tablespoonfuis of sifted corn
meal; add a teaspoonful of salt and a
tablespoonful of melted butter. Last
ly add three eggs, beaten very light
Bake immediately in well-greased
waffle-irons.— Ladies' Home Journal.
—Sachets are keeping pace with
cushions and pillows in size and varie
ty. Bed sachets to hold the night dress
are covered with sheer muslin and
trimmed with laee, put on very full,
often in jabot effect. The narrow rib
bons are much used in trimming these
pockets, combined with the lace.—X.
Y. Times.
—Gelatine Blanc Mange: Put one
quarter box of gelatine to soak in a
little inilk for an hour, then add oue
half cup of tfoiliug milk and stir until
thoroughly dissolved; add enough of
sugar to make it very sweet, and flavor
with vanilla. Whip stiff two teacup
fuls of sweet eiearn. Whip the hot gel
atine until it is cold and begins to
thicken, then beat in the whipped
cream, pour into a mold and set away
to stiffen. Serve with cream. —House-
hold Monthly.
—Broiled Rabbit: A j oung and tender
rabbit should lie used for this purpose.
Let it be cut open all along the under
side and press out as flat as possible.
Souk well in salted water, using some
slight weight to keep it flattened. Wipe
dry and gash deeply the m aty portion
of the body. Put in a hot gridironover
a steady clear fire; turn frequently,
brown well, and when tender lay on a
hot platter and butter plentifully, gar
nish with parsley and serve with a
made mustard. Some spread with a
made mustard before sending to table.
—Home.
—Stuffed Turnips: Peel medium-sized
turnips and boil whole in salted water
until tender. Take out, drain, and when
cool enough to handle cot a slice from
the top of each one. Scoop out the in
side of the turnip carer’iiy. mash the
part taken out with a little salt, pepper,
butter and the yolk of one egg. Fill
the turnips with this mixture, and re
place the slice upon the top of each one.
Beat the white of the egg to a stiff
froth and brush over the top of the tur
nips. Place on a baking dish and put
into the oven to brown. Serve very
hot.—Detroit Free Press.
HOME-MADE MATTRESSES.
Direction* for Waking; a Cheap anil Con
venient Article.
In a large family of children, a fold
ing mattress is a very convenient arti
cle to have. A home-made one will
give as much service as any and at less
expense. It may be covered either
with t'cking or heavy unbleached mus
lin, but in either case I would advise
the use of a slip, or, better still, lay
between it and the sheet a heavy pad,
made from unbleached muslin, and
wadded with cheap cotton, not too
heavy t< be easily washed. This will
save your mattress a great deal. Cut
and neatly scam the covering in such a
way that you will have two pieces the
exact width and length of your lied.
Cut one of these in half in what direc
tion you desire to have it fold. Cut
fourteen stiips as wide as you desire
the thickness of the mattress (say four
inches) four being as long as one-half
the width of the bed, and ten,
as the bed is long. Stitch strip num
ber one to the edge of one of
the large pieces of the cover, and
at equal distances on the wrong side
stitch the other nine. It does not mat
ter which way the seam turns till you
come to the last one, which must be
stitched on the edge with the seam iu
ward. In the center, five and six must
be stitched on at the same place, and
one seam will hold both. Two of the
short strips may be seamed on the end,
and the steps securely fastened. Now
the two large pieces for the other
side may be attached, and it is ready
for tilling. If something more nearly
like a factory article is desired, a cord
covered with some bright binding may
be stitched on the outer seams. For
filling a cheap grade of cotton or excel
sior may Vie used, 01, if you live near a
factory, you may be able to seeure at
little cost any of* the materials used for
filling, such as palm leaf or even curled
hair. It must be firmly and smoothly
pushed into the squares left for it, till
not another particle will go in. These
mattresses are very nice for campers,
filled with soft grass which has been
thoroughly sun-cured. "hen filled,
put on the last two end strips, and it is
finished.—The Housekeeper.
The Season'll Small Hats.
The plateau hat. which" has set so
daintily on many a head this last sea
son, is now brought out in velvet and
decorated with loops of ribboon at the
back. It always had the air of Hying
off th • head of whoever wore it; but in
velvet it loses a little of this look. A
very smart one to be worn with a black
and red gown is of black velvet laid in
folds from the back until a shell-like
effect is produced. Very high ribbon
bows of bright scarlet stand up from
the back, and from among them are
three tiny black feathers tied with a
red ribbon, exactly as are the feathers
that belong to the prince of Wales.
Another round hat that Ls very becom
ing to a young woman is a straight tur
ban of gray felt; about the crown is a
band of dark blue velvet which shows
just a little above a brim covered with
gray krimmer, the fur. by the bye,
which a great many people call, in mis
take. gray astra-chan. Just at one side
is a cluster of pompons made of the fur.
Of cjurse, a hat like this is intended to
bo worn with a special coat, and in this
case it is with a gray cloth trimmed
with gray krimmer. —Ladies’ Home
Journal.
Not of That s«t.
Proud Heauty—Oh, we go to Europe
every summer. You have been there, I
presume.
Mr. Workhardde (meekly)—Only
once. I was there for a few months last
year.
“Indeed! Did you—um —meet the
prince of Wales?”
“I saw him.”
“ltut did you meet him socially?”
“Oh, no. I never gamble.”—N. Y.
Weekly.
An Incomplete Continue.
“Say, Mandy,” said old Mr. Oilriz,
who had come to the metropolis for a
social season, “it's a full-dress de rigger
occasion, ain’t it?”
“Of course it is.”
“Then I can’t go; that's all there is
to it.”
“Why not?”
“I can’t make my eye-glasses stay
on.” —Judge.
IScßinnlnK the Iter »• l i«».
“This bread of yours, Samantha,” ob
served Mr. Chugwater, at the breakfast
table, looking dubiously at a slice but
proceeding to spread some butter on it,
“is indeed the ‘staff of life.’ ”
“What do you mean, Josiah?"
“I mean that I am going to try to
get along' with it.” —Chicago Tribune.
GOING IN THE SPRING.
The cultivators of what the New
York Sun calls the stunted grain-fields
of the East will bear with mixed feel
ings the reports of the yield that has
been gathered from the farms of the
Northwest. Far-seeing men, a long
time ago, predicted that whicn we now
see happening in the country north
west of Lake Superior. The yield this
year has b=»en good in many places in
the western nart of the continent, but
amongst the largest returns reported
are some from Manitoba and the
Saskatchewan. Over their own signa
tures, a number of iurmers have an
swered questions put to them, by a cir
cular from the local Government, giv
ing precise details as to the acreage un
der crop, the quantity of seed used, and
tae amount of grain harvested. The
replies of some show over 60 bushels
per acre, but this is exceptional. There
arc many over 40 and u great number
Lave averaged 30 of wheat, with heavy
yields of oats and barley. The truth
appears to be, and the New York Sun
explained tho reason, that the soil of
Manitoba and the adjacent provinces is
exceptionally rich and specially adapt
ed for mixed farming by reason of its
adaptability to wheat, ard from the
rich grasses that grow so luxuriantly
throughout the country. And the au
thorities of these provinces have acted
wisely in offering their land free to
those who choose to settle on it; for the
measures they have adopted for assist
ing new-comers, and in making no dis
tinction between Canadians and other
people. The railways, too, by giving
purchasers of land a free ticket west
ward, have shown an appreciation of
the situation. The spring will see many
availing themselves of the chance of
fered them.
NATURE'S MEDICINES.
The Advantage* of Eterriu and Tem
perance.
The human stomach is surely a mar
velous contrivance, or it could never as
similate the incongruous mess that is
put into it at a luxurious, modern din
ner. Soup, fiih, fiesh, oil, vinegar,
wines, pastry, ices, confectionery, fruits
and numberless minor ingredients of
conflicting chemical qualities are
among the materials "thrown in.”
Truly, man is “fearfully and wonder
fully made.” No other creature could
exist on such diet It would kill a go
rilla in a month. It does kill, though
more slowly, thousands of that high
and mighty variety of the human race
commonly called gentlemen. Univer
sal temperance in eating aud drinking
would quadruple the general health
and add years to the average life of the
race.
Exercise is as essential to health
as temperance. In fact, intem
perate eaters and drinkers sometimes
stave off disease for many years by
using their muscles manfully. As a
rule, however, your gormandizers and
guzzlers are indolent There is a story
in the "Arabian Nights” of a physician
who cured a sultan of plethora by intro
ducing certain medicaments into a
mallet with which the patient ham
mered every day until he fell into a pro
fuse perspiration, when the virtues of
the panacea in the mallet passed
through the fibers of the wood into his
pores. This is merely an allegorical
way of enforcing the great lesson that
bodily exercise is beneficial to health—
that exercise is excellent physic. Every
body who knows anything about tho
mechanism of the human frame sees,
of course, that it was made to work,
and we may add that if it does not ful
fill the conditions of its structure it is
sure to corrode and drop to pieces pre
maturely.
Exercise and temperance are nature's
medicines, aud they have this great ad
vantage over all others, that while they
promote health and long life they se
cure for all who put trust in them the
means of independence—N. Y. Ledger.
Color Combination* in Plahli.
The deft mingling of brilliant hues
ao widely popular this year is seen to
great advantage in some of the shaggy
Russian plaids an< stripes. Some have
wide bars in scarle ~ green and gold, on
black or very dark ground®; others
have medium wide stripes in rather
light shades, framed by narrow lines of
more brilliant colors, and on this
ground a pattern of large checks is
traced by loops or fraise lines in relief.
Plain fabric the same shade
as tho ground is issued for the
corsage and slightly trained back of the
skirt, while the rough material -is em
ployed for the skirt front and side gore*,
the sleeves, revers and waistcoat
Chicago Post.
Deafness Cannot bo Cored
by local applications, ns they cannot reach
tLie diseased portion of the ear. There is
only one way to cure Deafness, and that is
by c nstluiiional remedies. l)eaine-s is
caused by an inflamed condition of the mu
cous lininv of the Eustachian 'l übe W hen
this tube gets inflamed you buve arumbliug
sound or imperfect hearing, and when it is
entirely closed Deafness is tho result, and
unless the inflammation can bo laken out
and this tube restored to Its normal condi
tion, hearing will be destroyed forever;
n in cases out of ten are caused by catarrh,
which is nothiug but un Inflamed condition
of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for
any case, or Deafness (caused by catarrh)
that cannot be cured by Hall s Catarrh
Cure. Send for circulars, free.
V. J. Cheeney & Co , Toledo, O.
old by Druggists, 7oe.
Livtko in a garret may be said to be a
rh umatic difficulty.—Lowell Courier.
(O.Vliwl ...
Made well
—the weak, nervous or ailing woman
who takes Dr. Pierce’s Favorite
Prescription. It’s a medieino that’s
guaranteed to help her. It’s an in
vigorating, restorative tonic, sooth
ing cordial and bracing nervine
and a certain cure for all the func
tional derangements, painful disor
ders or chronic weaknesses that
affect women. For ulcerations, dis
placements, bearing-down sensations,
everything that’s known as a “fe
male complaint,” it’s an unfailing
remedy. It’s a one, too.
Peculiar in composition, peculiar in
its cures, and peculiar in the way
it’s sold. It’s guaranteed to give
satisfaction, in every case, or the
money is refunded. You pay only
for the good you get.
It’s the big, old - fashioned pill
that makes the most disturbance—
but it’s one of Dr. Pierce’s Pleasant
Pellets that does the most good.
Mild and gentle, but thorough and
effective —the smallest, cheapest and
easiest to take. They cleanse and
regulate the liver, stomach and
bowels.
OCVCIiiyC Th 'iiMMli njadr happy. So
rCKaIUNO \v»d wiftDd Mnn Advice HLKi:
\Y,iteto \\ Il.Oruen JkC<> Pb.ladelphia.
MT v H I' * ttw*
Vj 2 J| Ch ~ ‘ Ap Je,j'x/A* -C Vi
Mating
Very refractory and mutinous are some
stomachs. Discipline and good order may
be perfectly restored with Hostetter's
Som.nh Ui:te. j, most reliable and thor
ough of tonics Slu.u local bitiers and un
medicated s'imulants. A helpful appetizer
aud fortifle" of the nerves is the Bitters,
highly effl, xcious too in malaria, la grippe,
const ipaticii. liver and kidney complaints.
It counteracts ili-umatism. A wlticgiass
ful at bedtime promo;"® s'sep.
What Is that which is neither flesh nor
Cone, and yet has four Augers and a thumb)
A glove.—Once a Week.
The OnlyOuf Ever Printed—Can You Find
• the Word?
There is a 3 inch display a&ver'.isement
In this paper, this week, which aas no two
words alike except one word. The same is
true of each new one appearing each week,
from The Dr. Harter Medicine Co. This
house | laces a "Crescent” on everything
the; make and publish. Look for it, send
them the name of the word and they will
return you book, beautiful lithographs or
samples free.
It is eminently' proper for a man who Is
boring for oil to sign his letters “your well
wisher.” —Washington Star.
‘“Bhowx’s Bkoxchial Tkoches' are ex
cellent ftr the relief of Hoarseness or Sore
Throat Thev are exceedingly effective.”
—Christian World, London, Kng.
Bmnsof a feather flock together; women
with high hats sit all over the house.—Tex
as Siftings.
How mi Throat Hiuts! Why don't you
use Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar?
Pike's Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
The carpenter is not always a mathemati
cian—but is handy with his~"adz.’’—Colum
bus Post
Fon sick headache dizziness or swimming
in the head, pain in the back, body, or rheu
matism. take Beechnuts pills.
Since deer is venison it is not extraor
dinary that venison should be dear.—Chica
go Times.
“Oh, mamma, why does the preacher al
ways say ‘lastly ’ in the middle of his ser
mon 1”-—Galveston News.
rjAcoßson
TRADE
KEmeiISSSaiN
Cubes Promptly and Pebxaxentlt
RHEUMATISM.
Lumbago, Headache,Tooth:, ho,
NEUR/kLGI A,
Sore Throat, Swellings, Frost-bites, ,
SCIAT I C A,
Sprains, Bruises, tturns, Scalds*
THE CHARLES A. VOGELER CO.. Baltimore,Wd.
OXE EXJOYS
Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys
tem effectually, dispels colds, head
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro
duced, pleasing to the taste and ac
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial iu its
effects, prepared only from the most
healthy and agreeable substances, its
many excellent qualities commend it
tc all aud have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in 50c
and 81 bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it- Do not accept any
substitute.
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CD.
SAY FRANCISCO. CAL.
LOUISVILLE. KY. AS IV YORK. N.Y.
“German
Syrup”
Just a bad cold, and a hacking
cough. We all suffer that way some
times. How to get rid of them is
the study. Listen —“ I am a Ranch
man and Stock Raiser. My life is
rough and exposed. I meet all
weathers in the Colorado mountains.
I sometimes take colds. Often they
are severe. I have tised German
Syrup five years for these. A few
doses will cure them at any stage.
The last one I had was stopped in
24 hours. It is infallible.” James
A. Lee, Jefferson, Col. ®
YOUNG MOTHERS!
ire UfJ'er Von a Krniri/.'/
• r/ilr/i Insure* Safety to
I.ife of not her antl Child.
“MOTHER’S FRIEND”
Holts Confinement of its
Pttin, Horror anil Kisk.
Afterull'B'inr tM.ttle Of" Moltae,-** Ei Imd" 1
imtfored nut little pain, and did not exp rienco that
eeakne** alterward ti-nui in such eases.—Airs.
AXMKGAGK lAiuar.Mo.. Jan. ir»th. 18S1.
Sent t y express, charges prepay!, on receipt r f
price t .'Oper bottle. 800, to Mother, mailed free.
uiminKLi) iii ta i, tion to.,
ATLANTA, U.\.
POT.D BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
PETROLEUM VASELINEj ELLY -
AN INVALUABLE FA MIL? RESTED? FOR
Burns, BUra,>
Coughs. Colds, Sora Throat, ttc.
PURE VASELINE '2-of. bottle lOcts.
POMADE VASELINE 2-oz. bolt!#) 15 “
VASELINE COLO CREAM 15 “
VASELINE CAMPHOR ICE 10 “
FOB SALE EVERT WOE RE AT ABOVE PUKT-S.
CHESEBROUCH MANUFACTURING COMPANY.
To Our Customers.
WE 1 AKE GREAT PLEASURE IN CALLING TO YOUR NOTICE THE FACT THAT,
IN ADDITION TO OUR UNSURPASSED READY-PRINT SERVICE, THIS HOUSE CAN
ALSO FURNISH TO THE TRADE
1 ttiti! it sunk
IN ALL ITS BRANCHES.
our FACILITI r S FOR THIS VALUABLE AND HELPFUL BRANCH OF
AREAMPLE. AND WHILE SOLICITING YOUR ORDERS IT IS GRATIFYING TO U 3
TO BE POSITIVE IN ASSURING YOU THAT
Our Work is Not Only Good, but Absolutely THE BEST!
PRICES WILL BE FOUND CONSISTENT WITH THE HIGH GRADE OF M*TERIAL
AND WORKMANSHIP FURNISHED. ESTIMATES CHEERFULLY GIVEN.
fl. KEIjLiOCG NEGUSPAPER CO„
368 & 370 IcarboFn Street, Chicago, 111.
924 a 228 WALNUT STREET, ST. LOUIS. MO.
71 a 73 ONTARIO STREET. CLEVELAND. OHIO.
177 a 179 ELM STREET. CINCINNATI. OHIO
S»e Want fcamv and
fy.ILwSK HLitfil! Adirest of Eteff
» S B ASTHMATIO
P.HiretdHaves.M.O.
STAY CURED, f BUFFALO, N._Y.
cr.xiai laiio PAflk ewr*y tta yeu
1 airh Enamel*.
I the hands. injure the iron, and burn off. |
I The Rising Sun Stove Polish Is Brilliant, dor-1
I less. Durable. &nd the consumer pays lor no tin j
1 or glass package with every purchase.
IVORY
SOAP
Pure.
THE BEST FOR EVERY PURPOSE.
Salvation Oil Sgir&l&iS:
•••••••••• •
• GOOD NEWS *
FOR THE MILLIONSOF CONSUMERS OF
t Tiitt’s Pills. %
• It girofl I>r. Tutt pleasure to an-a
noume that he b now putting up a V
•TINY LIVER PILL®
• which I* of exreeslingly nmall sl/e, yet
retaining all the virtues of the larger
one* They are guaranteed pur. lv
• vegetable. Doth sties of these pills
are still Issued. The exart size of w
TVTT’S tixy livf.k pills
™ Is shown In the border of this ••ad.” ™
MMMM • • •
RELIEVES oil Stomach Distress.
REMOVES Nausea. Sense of Fullness,
Congestion, Pain.
REVIVES Faiuxo ENERGY.
RESTORES Norcnnl Circulation. aid
Warms to Toe Tips.
OR. HARTER MEDICINE CO.. St. Lnnlt, Me.
Free Farms
Iff jwantfl KICEE F.l it nioni z the line of
nillwav in M AMTOB.%, ALHERTA or the
BAMILITCHEW IX, «pply for particulars to
L, A. HAMILTON,
AM ft THIS PAPER wq Dim yon writs.
BOILING WATER OR MILK.
EPPS’S
GRATEFUL- COMFORTING.
COCOA
LABELLED 1-2 LB. TINS ONLY
b h B esi DRILL
WELLS* a-*
srith oar fa tiiou* Well ph :■
MncUafiy. Th» on’# p 7 JJ j < A
perfect self-cleaning a d ■ f i
fast-dropping tool* in iae. Ij 1 * ■ *
LOOMIS & NYMAN, n talogae
TIFFIN, OHIO. FREE.
HEAVEN AND HELL.
416 PAGES. PAPE a COVEIL
DIVINE LOVE AMI WISDOM, Kpmm
baperrover, 1 T EM A.M'EL N WEDEN BOKO
>la led prepaid for I4«eech to- hoi, forlio rent*>
l.ytn- AMERICAN SWEDEN HOKU I*.
AND I’. SOO.KTY, 20 Cooper Union, N. Y.
.a-MAME THIS PAPCB ..... HU *-t*.
LAW OFFICES MORTIMER F. TAYLOR
Iu a Mhicn t. gmer+l practice will, with two »Ms
pay ** wisi sIU-ntlw* Ui appeal ca*#t la U. *§. COURT
wf APPEALS*at ST. LOUIS, tJT Cobsmpomocms Solicits*
•VXAMS THIS PAPER smy tie* fsuwrits
MALT MALTESE WHISKEY
tion. Dysper-is. Malaria and <i*-n»*rat bebllity. AilSrsf
gists. sl. S-Ufor gitsr ntI.TKSKt HRSIf ALtO.hLPssI.HiMS
»y ASU aHIS VaVZK srvry Has jrw» sr
aa, nl}n Tw ot-l EVf STAM PS for terms
-ind Instructions, and i will give *n j
yonng nan ca«y. honest. b!g paying
O “"work g eo £ Messer & Co., Boston. Kass.
«rMAX* TSI, tAtIM j*l *IU»
Ami«U>(»'l>l'ii- Habit ft,rail In lO
;’ ■- J'(A, to SO ilaj«. No pay till rurad.
IVin DR. J.STEPHENS, Lebanon,Oluo.
■ruu this rm< . ... uu y» *w»
i*f A MTCn MEN TO TRAVEL. W.
Vv AII I LU ~n » t.- 9,100 a month
and expanses. STON'S & WELUtoToS, JUSm.WU.
ja- VAXL TSi* PAPia .or, (o —'***
Piso'3 Remedy for Catarrh I, the 855
■ Best, Busiest to Use. and Cheap- st. H
gg 50c. K. T. lluzaitlce. Warren, Pa. gj
A N. K.—G. 1380.
WHEN WRITING T 0 ADVERT-'BEKS PI.EASR
.1 *te that job »*w the AdvtrtD*u«:Bt lo Ihi*
j »»pt r.
VASELINE SOAP. Unsceniel 10 ch.
VASELINE SOAP. Perfumed 25 “
WHITE VASELINE 2-oz. bottle'- 25
CAMPHORATED VASELINE < 2-oz. bottle > 25
CARBOLATEO VASELINE <2-oz. bottle■••2s
401 WYANOTTTE STREET. KANSAS CCTV. MO.
93 A 40 JEFFERS-N ST.. MEMPHIS. TEN ~
74 TO 90 EAST STM STREET. ST. PAUL. MINN.
ft ft FAT FOLKS REDUBED
yto Z', I ba. per mont h by hanuiee* herbal
)reir>odie«.
I .1 ill > '■nd »o bad effect*. Strictly confidential*
9*. t*T rirvn« and tertimo"i *HI * / renv D&
O- W-F^jttdfb^lcVicker’r Theatre Bid*. Cilice*©, liL
•/■MKI THIS PAM!ke»enrtMeft«»nt»