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•‘WHITTLING SI” Si Bartholomew—he can Whittle anything, you bet! He's about the smartes’ man That I guess 1 ever mot. Onct he whittled me a boat. An' I sailed it in the drain. An' there wasn’t room to float. So I'm waitin' for a rain. Si's knife’s never dull a bit; My, you ought to see him hone! For he mixes In some spit— Yes. sir!—on the whettin’ stone! An’ the other day he said, When I asked his knife, to use: **Sake3 alive! You'll cut your head Clean off, right above your shoes!" An’ he’s made a bully bow. An’ some arrers, an’ a gun. An’ a windmill that’ll go If you hold it out an' run; An’ a dagger an’ a sword. An’ a teeny drinkln'-cup— He Jos' takes a common board An’ he whittles It smack up! He sits ’roun’ all day, SI does, Whittlin’ shavin's in his lap Fa, he says there never was Such a lazy, shifless chap. An' he doesn’t earn his keep— Rut I think he does, you see, 'Cause he has to work a heap Makin* handy things for me. —Edwin 1,. Sabin, in “New" Lipplncott. Wooing of the Chorus Boy. Love and Stage Associations Win Against Millions. THE chorus boy’s valet paused irres olutely on the threshold of his master’s bedroom, the rose-colored bead curtain gathered in his hand. He had orders to call him at noon ex actly; still he seemed to be sleeping so peacefully that the man hesitated. “Is that you, James?” It was the voice of the chorus boy. Evidently he had been, only dozing. The man allowed the curtain to fall in place with a musical clash. “Yes, Mr. Cecil. There are two tel egrams and a number of notes. Miss Fcezy called.” “Miss who?” Miss Fcezy -ser. She said to tell you that Miss Fcezy of the Foosleorum sextet had called to run over that last passage where you stuck last night. Those were her words, ser.” “Oh, Fizzie—you mean? Monstrous. To call at such an hour.” “The bawth is ready, ser.” He handed him a cream-colored crash robe with sprawling arabesques and in a moment the chorus boy was splashing in his pink china tub. Cecil always did his thinking during his morning tub and to-day the mention of Fizzle’s visit brought back the old days when hoth she and he were pu pils at a dramatic school, never dream ing of the successes that fortune was to spread at their feet. Well did he recall the day when the fat manager ■came in and looked over the class, in dicating with his cane the particular pupils that he thought would do for ♦he Foozleorum sextet. “Nothing beefy,” he said, “we want lightweights. Genteel-looking, neat footed girls and boys that can sing a little, lint lookers they must be.” Side by side Fizzie and he had re hearsed through the long summer un til the opening night of “Foozleorum,” when the musical sextet made the hit of the comedy, coming in for any man lier of recalls. Then the papers ‘next day commented upon the fact that the chorus boys all looked and acted like gentlemen and wore their clothes well. Until this, chorus boys had never been noticed or featured in any way. Rough-looking “supes” had always tilled the places of peasants and vil lagers in operatic productions, and their clothes had never fitted them. But “Foozleorum” marked the en trance of the chorus boy on the Amer ican stage, although he had been seen in Loudon for a couple of seasons. The pretty girls of “Foozleorum” had taken the town, but the cfcorut boys took society. While Johnnies filled the boxes at night, the mattinees were social events and the manage ment had to put an awning out, there were so many carriages. The story got alsiut that the girls’ bath tubs were kept, so full of orchids that they were forced to take cold sponges in the morning instead of the usual be fore-breakfast, dip. Then there had lH»en Wall street plunges, purchases of blooded horses and seaside cottages, resignations and brilliant marriages. Rut. the success of the chorus boys was more unique, for while society had taken to the stage it could not be said that it had taken to the cho rus. At first the "l-’oozleorum" sextet had been sung at midnight in drawing / rooms, the 12 young people driving from the theater immediately after the performance to the stately man sions, where they looked quite vg the picture wearing the smart clothes that their parts demanded. Soon Cecil had his first, invitation to a luncheon at the home of Miss Nothingbut, an acknowledged society leader. After that lie had been simply inundated with attentions. The other boys came in for a lot of it, too, but Cecil was the star. He drove in the afternoon, and rode aud golfed in the morning and lunched and breakfasted all day long. Then the idea of Fizzle running in that way. T t was dreadful. The child would have to be told. She was s nice little thing, but she hadn't aspired to anything better thau being photographed on a raft in a bathing •uit with the other “Foozleorum” girls. Cecil dressed leisurely and walked languidly into the breakfast room, where the chocolate and rolls aud fruit waited for There were the letters already opened by James, the tiny florist’s box with the boutonniere that came anonymously each morning. Well, he knew that the dainty idea was Rhoda Not hingbut’s. He opened the box. It was hyacinth thi-' morning. First he read the teliguims and smiled tenderly over the first. “Good morning, ( ceil,” was all it said. It was a facsimile of one that came to him at this time each day. Surely she was a noble-hearted woman. If she were only younger, llut youth after all was crude. There was Fizzie —uncultured as a hawk. The second telegram was from a Broadway firm of haberdashers asking the privilege of naming a new necktie after Cecil. He indorsed it firmly “No.” He had always hated that, sort of thing. Be sides, the things they named after one were always atroeious. Then he began the notes. Laura Gotrox wanted him to join a coaching party Saturday afternoon. She always did forget about Cecil's matinee days. Mrs. Harry Highroller was giving something on the 18th. The Highroller parties were always nice. Yes, he would go. Then Miss Betty Boxseat wished him to drive out behind a new pair she had jtlst taken a blue ribbon with. Well, Betty was a fine girl, but it was as much as a man’s life was worth to sit in a trap with her while she held the reins. Last time Cecil was all shaken up. Ha Ha! The Sunday Omelet, wished him to pose for a series of pictures showing the newest things in men's wear. Decidedly not. An author wished to submit a play which he had specially written with a view to the chorus boy as its star. Then another man wrote: “I have just completed a charming sketch, ‘All for Love,’ which I have written for two. It is in the same dainty satirical vein as the popular Foozleorum sextet, and if you could get one of the young la dies—preferably the one with reddish hair—to take the opposite part, 1 feel safe in predicting a great success for you both.” The pretty one with reddish hair— that was Fizzie. The chorus boy could remember when he thought Fizzie’s hair the most beautiful in the world. Rhoda Nothingbut’s hair wqs like ex celsior. What a pity that Fizzie was such an odd little thing. Still he would look at the sketch. “All for Love.” Humph. He was still thinking with annoying persistence of Fizzie and wondering how lie would manage to break with her without hurting her feelings. Of course she loved him, but that wasn’t the worst of it. He knew that Fizzie imagined they were engaged. When they were at the school together lie had been very sweet on her—yes—they had certainly loved each other in a boy a ltd girl way, but Fizzie had tak en a lot more out of what he had said that he had meant. That was always the way with a girl who was in love. The question was how was he to disabuse Fizzie’s mind gently of the idea that, there was anything serious in it. He had positively paid her no attention whatever for the last few weeks and was always out when she called. He had explained that his so cial engagements engrossed him to the exclusion of the old times they used to have when they had dined at table d'hotes and lunched at bakeries. They were happy times enough, but it was all over now and a brilliant social ca reer was opening to Cecil. He must not l>e handicapped by any foolish at tachment which Fizzie might feel for him. It was odd how she seemed not to notice. Ordinarily she was a girl of quick perceptions. But in this mat ter site seemed to have been strangely dull of comprehension. And there was Rhoda ready to lie his bride at the drop of a hat. Her father was several times a millionaire. There was a ring at the bell, but James knew lie was never at home mornings, so Cecil continued his cogi tations. With an 'ntinite surprise he heard a swish of skirts in the hall and the patter of French heels. In another minute Fizzle unceremoniously burst into the room. Really, the girl was getting too impossible. “Morning, Cess !" she exclaimed exuberantly; “What’s the matter?" “1 was somewhat surprised at your entering without being announced. It is -ather unusual, you know." “Oh rut that out. Cess; don’t put on airs with me. I've some news for you.” “Yes ?" (Veil lingered a paper cutter nervously. “I’m going to be married!” “What! To be married?" “To a millionaire.” “Fizzie! You don’t mean it?” “Don’t I though. Who do you think?” “Haven’t an idea.” “Mr. Nothingbut.” “Nothing——” “But, yes.” “But he's CO.’* • “And a millionaire.” “But. my dear Fizzle, you musn't think of such a thing." “Why not? You musn’t think you’re the only one who can go in for high society when I'm Mrs. Noth ingbut, of Fifth avenue, you'll have to pay some attention to me.” Shi- held out a slim brown hand on which a gorgeous emerald gleamed beside a pure white diamond set in Tuscan gold. “Great Scott! then it is really true!" “Of course it's true, and that snippy Miss Xothinghut that you’ve been driving all over town with—why, I'll be her mother—see?” “Oh, Fizzie, how heartless you have grown; and I thought you eared for me.” “Oh, fudge; wliat’s the use? We have tio money and then you’ve changed so, Cess; you’ve no Idea. No; 1 am going to marry poppa.” Fizzie swung her feet impertinently high, showing her new patent leather ties and her ankles cased in dark blue silk. She clasped her hands across her knees. She was looking provolt ingly pretty this morning, her auburn hair blown out over her gars under her white linen hat with its black pompon rakishly tilted over her eyebrow. Her thin white shirt waist showed im pressionistic glimpses of blue ribbon rosettes against her pink shoulders. “Don’t talk like that, Fizzie: I never dreamed ” “This is no dream,” said Fizzie, turn ing the ring on her finger; “it's the real thing.” “But fancy a girl like you. I tell you I won’t have it. T shan’t allow such a thing.” “Why, you’ve nothing to say about it T guess. You can tell Miss Noth ingbut what she must do and she can do it—if her new mama lets her.” “You are engaged to me and if you imagine you van throw me over in this way you’re immensely mistaken. I'm no boy.” “I’m going to have a high-backed victoria and two footmen. And I’ll come to see you in “Foolzleorum’ and invite you to my house sometimes if you’re very good.” “I’ll see Mr. Nothingbut myself. The man must be mad.” “No- but Rhoda will be simply wild. You see it cuts her out of a few mil lions. Too bad, isn’t it ?” “Fizzie, did you imagine I ever cared for that horsey old thing?” “I can’t allow you to talk like that of my future daughter. Mr. Nothing hut. isn’t so bad.” “I'll write to jour mother unless you promise to give up this idea.” “Can’t, my boy. I’ve notified the manager that I leave on the first. We're going to be married without any fuss.” “Fizzie—do you remember promis ing that you’d never marry any one but me?” "Haven’t any recollections of it.” “And I imagined you were a true, noble girl.” “Tra-la-la-la," hummed Fizzie friv olously, quoting “Foozleorum” mu sic. The chorus boy gazed at her help lessly. lie was just beginning to real ize how he loved Fizzie and that so ciety didn’t matter. “Stage life is disgusting for a girl,” he remarked. “Not any more than for a man,” said Fizzie. “You have changed from an ordinarily decent chap to a conceit ed Johnnie and all kinds of a dude. You weren't a bit like that when we used to go to school together.” “Those were the days,” said Cecil, “the good old days.” He leaned his head wearily on his hands. “How I hate this life; it is false and artificial.” “Vaudeville is the only thing nowa days,” said Fizzie, “these long runs are demoralizing. If I didn't intend to marry I’d get a nice sketch and go out on a tour of the continuous houses.” “The very thing!” said Cecil; “I have the sketch—‘All for Love.’ ” And he told her of the note in the morning mail. “Is it any good?” asked Fizzie. “I haven't seen it, but he says it’s great. Suppose we look at it and if you like it—why—why ” “We could leave ‘Foozleorum.’ ” “And go as a team?” “I)o you mean it?” “Then think how it will read. 'Re fused a millionaire to marry the chorus boy she loved, who renounces society for his old sweetheart. Going to star in ‘All for Love.’” “What a press agent you'd make, Cess! You nre a wonder. After all, Nothingbut is old." “Old! lie’s mouldy.” “And poor Rhoda?” “Rlioda’s a well-meaning girl.” said Cecil, with one pang as he thought of his morning flowers and telegram. Slowly he reached over and took Fiz zie’s hand in his. “You know what they sing in “Foozleorum,’ Fizz?” “No—what?” “ ’Love, like the Devil, takes care of his own.’ ” And together they sang the chorus. —N. Y. Sun. WHAT WESTCOTT WON BY SONG Vocal Excellence Rewarded by I*re ■entatiun of Vrtielew Wholly I nsulted to Respiration. That the author of “David llarum* was conspicuous for his mellow bari tone voice is little thought of by those who only know him as an author, says Literary Era. It was a voice so sweet, so rich, and so flexible that it could play any prank with the emotion of those who ffeard it, and had Mr. West cott chosen to devote his life to music he would have V eoome a noted singer. But he contented himself with the modest position of basso in a quartet choir in Syracuse, and in delighting his own s(>ecial friends by singing in a drawing room, lie was fond of tell ing of an occasion on which he was invited to sing at a concert in one of the smaller towns of western New York. The musical affair passed off satisfactorily with the help of the neighborhood talent, assisted by Mr. Westeott’s rare voice. As Mr. West* cott was about to retire, his host ! came timidly to his room, carrying two long paper boxes. “I leave the house so early in the morning to go to my factory," the man explained, “that I’m afraid I may not see you, but 1 want to give you something for your singing to-night. Now, here’s two pair of the very best real whale boned corsets that our factory turn* out, and l waut you' to take them home with you.” When Mr. West cott found he could not even protest effectually, his sense of humor came to his relief, and the fastidious man of cultivated extravagance stalked home laughing, the next day, with two pair of useless corsets in exchange foi his matchless songs. LAYING BOARD DRAINS. In some Localities «n«l in Certain Conditions They Are Almost us Good as Tile. While tile 's the standard material for drains, it quite often happens that a tile drain does not do so well as one would expect from so expensive an outlay. In soft ground they will some times get out of line or sink into the mud. At places the line of the dram will sometimes come above the frost line. At such places and at the outlet, freezing will cause the tile to crum ble, in time, unless they are vitrified, which adds greatly to their cost. A tile drain is no mure exempt from trouble with roots, silt or vermin than Is one made of boards. In sections re mote from tile yards freights add so much to the cost of tile that their use is almost prohibited, but it is especial- ~\r~\r A _ B 1 c HOW TO MAKE A BOARD DRAIN. ly in these places that wood can be ob tained more cheaply. Wood is more enduring when laid in a drain than is generally supposed. Hemlock, which is of but little durabil ity above ground, is still doing service in a drain which was made 18 years ago. A well-laid drain of rived chest rut or cypress will last almost a life time. White oak and locust are also very durable. In fact, almost any kind of wood will last well in a deep drain. There are no blows to disturb it, and it will preserve an opening for the flow of water long after decay has set in. A board six inches in width should be nailed to one five inches in width and laid along the bottom of the drain, as at A in Fig. 1. If the boards are rived and there are narrow ones, the nar row ones may be nailed over two oth ers. as shown at B. The ditch need not be over a spade’s width on the bottom. In depth it should average two to three feet. The deeper the drain, the farther It will draw the water, but it is not advisable to go so deep where there is a heavy clay subsoil. Drains will do better service after two or three years, as the ground gets more porous. In laying the boards have them fit closely and cover any holes with thin pieces of wood so the dirt canno. work in. Be sure to stop up the outle-t with coarse wire screening, to keep out rats, rabbits, etc. Board drains need no plank on the bottom of the ditch, neither do they need any straw or hay on top of the boxes. But it is important t.o get the grade of the bottom of *he ditch uniform, and it will pay to take some pains with it. A drain should not have a steep grade followed by one not so steep. If it is the reverse it will not matter, but in the former ease the water, flowing with some rapidity, will scour and car ry with it some silt. Coming to a sec tion of lesser fall, the flow is retarded and the silt deposited, causing she drain to stop up. Three inches to 100 feet of drain is about the least fall that is practicable to give to board drains. Where it is not desirable to get the services of an engineer to lay out a drain, the farmer may find out what he has got by using the common spirit level, and then he can finish the bot tom of the ditch with a device I have shown at the bottom of Fig. 1. Take a straightedge 12% feet long and fix to it another straightedge movable at one .end. If the two edges are made to be one-half of one inch farther apart at one end than the other and one end eveled by a spirit level the other edge will correspond to a fall of four inches per 100 feet. The movable end can be so attached as to be quickly adjusted to represent any fall desired. For small drains where there is plenty of fall the ditcher can do well enough with his spade and eye; but in longer drains with little fall the assistaneeof some kind of instrument is required. —Grant Davis, in Ohio Farmer. The Cow Which Paya Rest, During the live years of careful in vestigation in regnrd to the cost of production of butter between cows spare and angular in form and cows carrying considerable superfluous tis sue, our records show that in every instance the cow that carried the least flesh charged the least for but ter, and just in so much as one cow was a little smoother and plumper than the other w-ould her butter product cost more than the other. It should be borne in mind that the re sults are from accumulated testi mony, showing not only that every day, every week, every month, but during her entire lifetime, the spare cow is better. That she should be so much better is almost incredible, strong and uniform as the evidence is.—Prof. Haecker, in Farmers' Re view. True Economy In Hay. There is only one sure way to save hay, and that is to make something else take the place of it. The man who saves it by feeding scantily is not really saving anything; but the man who makes eornfodder that he usually wastes serve as hay 1s saving hay and making money on the transaction. If eornfodder is to take the place of hay it must be good fodder. It must be cut at the right time, cured in the right ■way and kept good until it is fed.—Na tional Stockman. FEEDING OF SORGHUM. There Are Many Arguments For And Against It* l »e Worthy of Cure™ fill Consideration. Precaution is necessary in the feed ing of sorghum. 1-Tom time to time reports have been received of cattle dying from eating the sorghum in certain stages of growth. All at tempts to find the poison have failed thus far. However, the losses have been so small compared to the num ber of cows being fed that the use of this kind of feed has been continued. A recent communication from Prof. D. H. Otis, of the Kansas exporiment station, says; “During the time the Kansas station has been pasturing sorghum several reports have been received of cattle dying in ten or fif teen minutes from the time they en tered the sorghum patch, but in every case where we have been able to get details, the cattle have eaten the sor ghum on empty or nearly empty stomachs. Cattle should have their stomachs so well filled that they feel completely satisfied before touching the green sorghum, and then allowed to eat only a few minutes at a time until they are accustomed to it. If sorghum can be pastured successful ly, as has been done by the Kansas ex periment station, it means that the dairymen and stockmen can get an immense amount of pasture from a small area, which is available at a time when their other pastures are getting short and dry. Pasturing will also be the most economical way of utilizing sorghum. The man that turns his cattle in a sorghum field, however, must realize that he may be taking risks. He must weigh the evi dence for and against its use and then decide for himself whether the benefits will outweigh the risks.” FEEDING AND BREEDING. The Two Go Hand In Hand In 1 ni provlnK' the Value mid Indi viduality of Cow*. To what extent does feed affect the individuality of a eow? This is a question that has yet to be answered, so far as conclusive experiments are concerned. It is doubtless true that feed is constantly changing the char acteristics of animals, but we do not know how rapidly the changes take place, nor do we know just the effect each food has. To a certain extent we are feeding in the dark. The Maryland experiment station has been feeding a herd of common cows for several years and noting the effect of proper feed ing on individuality. C. F. Doane, who reports on the results, says: “No very material results could be noticed the first year from the extra feed and carp the herd received, but through sub sequent years there seems to be a steady improvement. Judging from the records of these cows, it is a ques tion if the quality of a dairy cow does not depend almost as much on the feeding as on the breeding. It is also a question if cows that have a more or less pronounced beef tendency, or, at least, would not be called good mate rial from which to build up a dairy herd, cannot, with proper manage ment, be developed into profitable dairy cows.” This is a view of the mat ter that will not strike some of our investigators very favorably. It has against it the generally accepted truth that we have now so many good dairy cows that it will hardly pay to spend time, feed and effort in an attempt to reverse a tendency already strongly developer in a direction opposite to that of milk production.—Farmers’ Re view. * FODDER FEED RACK. It Can Re Filled at the Patch an«l Wheeled to the Pasture or the Barnyard, The rack shown herewith can be filled at the fodder patch and wheeled to the pasture or barnyard. There it GREEN FODDER FEED RACK, can be hung up against the fence by the hooks at the back. Make the rack of three-inch strips of board and cut the wheel from a piece of hardwood board.—Orange Judd Farmer. DAIRY SUGGESTIONS. Butter that is covered with salt crystals is not desirable. The large udder doesn't always give assurance of a heavy milker. If the friction is too violent, the butter is produced speedily and is de ficient in quality. The flow of milk should be main tained as uniform as possible while the cow is in milk. Cream will make better butter when it rises in cold air than when it rises in cold water. No matter how good the cows in the herd the bull should be good enough to improve the progeny. In making good butter quite as many difficulties lie in the care of the milk as in the mode of churning. To rush cows into the stable from the pasture night or morning, is to excite them sufficiently physically to heat their milk to a feverish point, quickly undermining its quality. The importance of producing on the farm butter of the highest excellence, fit to compete with the creamery product, seems to be often disregard* ed, or perhaps the undertaking is con sidered too difficult of attainment. This is largely through lack of knowl edge of detail*. St. Jacobs Oil bests ail records and always will. Cures Rheumatism, Sprains Pv yf Weakncsa of 7 0 limbs raJJ) aud a " jj Aches and «|Hi Acts like || 1 magic l\\'/ij Conquers Mil Pain ••wSTMAHn, CURRENT TOPICS. An ordinary piano contains a mile of piano wire. The United Kingdom has 850 blast furnaces; France 570. Science Ls now studying druakards by the use of machines. New Zealand crown lands are now disposed of for 990 years. Colorado leads all the states in the production of both gold and silver. A vessel going from Montreal to ’t’ort Arthur has to ascend 600 feet. The various countries of the world use 13,400 different kinds of postage stamps. During the year ending June 30 last there were 4,300 eases of smallpox in Tennessee. The Bible used in Queen Victoria’s coronation was sold uy auction recent ly for 40 guineas. The Irish river, in Siberia, is 3.900 miles in length and drains 600,000 miles of territory. Kangeroos can jump eleven feet in height, against a deer’s best record of nine feet six inches. It is estimated that the electric or gan of a lively electric fish would give a discharge of 200 volts. It is said that the representative of Germany at the coronation of Ed ward VII. will be the crown prince. A Prince Edward Island fisherman, Philippe Gallant, has saved the lives of no less than twenty-seven people. The Belgian pigeon which won the great race from Burgos, in Spain, to Brussels, did the 700 miles in fourteen hours. The “elephant beetle” of Venezuela >is the largest insect in the world. A full grown one weighs about half a pound. The number of Protestant Chris tians in India and Cej'lon has in fif teen years grown from 445,780 to 753,- 641—nearly 70 per cent. The use of the “E Pluribus Unum” on coin was never authorized by law. Its first known use was on a New Jer sey cent struck off in 1776. In Zante, one of the lonian islands, there is a petroleum spring which has been known for nearly 3,000 years. It is mentioned by Herodotus. In the year 1900, out of 1,953 raids on Illicit stills, 673 were made in Geor gia, which is a prohibition state ex cept as to four of its cities. King Victor Emanuel 111. has the largest and most valuable collection of Italian coins in the world. It com prises over 50,000 specimens. The common council of Arkansas City, Kan., has passed an ordinance levying an occupation tax on all per sons engaged in business in the city. T. Snffern Tailer, of New York, is said to have the best library of books on sporting subjects, and particularly on riding and driving, in tliis country. Prof. Dr. Van t’lloff, a Berlin chem ist, is reported to be of opinion that before long the problem will be solved which will make it possible to ex tract bread from wood. The Russian minister of railways has prepared a time table showing that when the Transiberlan railway is finished the journey around the world can be made in thirty-three days. Although aboui seventy-six years old, the Rev. Dr. J. G. Paton, the fa mous missionary to the New Hebrides islands, is about to return to his field of labor after a visit to this country and England. A DISTINGUISHED MISSIONARY Washington, Ind., Sept. 23rd.—There is at present living at IUC E. 15th street, in this city, a most remarkable man. He is Rev. C. 11. Thompson, and he came to Washington from Little York, lnd., a short time ago. Rev. Mr. Thompson spent many years of his long and useful life as a missionary among the Indians of the West. The great exposure and the drinking of so much bad water brought on Diabetes, and at Wagoner, Indian Territory, he was struck dovu while preaching. Physicians, one of them a Chicago specialist, pronounced liis case hope less. Dodd's Kidney Pills were recom mended, and as a last resort he tried them. He was completely cured, and restored to good health and his case and its cure has caused a sensation among the physicians. PI SO‘s • - ' wC CURES WHERE ALL £lsH tTTsT ( Best Cough Syrup. Tastes Good. Use I in time. Sold by druggist*. ■ wl a iwm -in ■TC ONSUMPff IQN3& •tas-'cf&i