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THE SO'iG SPARROW.
■>. ■> *r.s vTnj the leafless ffiicket ■'! --m hesi<i rny garden gate, \Vm .<. light, from post to picket 5 1 *i>m ihe sparrow, blithe, sedate; Vt *-i, with meekly folded wing, ; D,uos to suo himself and sing. It u is there, perhaps, last year, t h f hia little house he huilt; For h° seems to peaX ami peer, Ami to twitter, to, and tilt rhe bare branches in between V/ h a fond, familiar mien. Once, I know, there was a nest, , Hel.i there by the sideward thrust Of those twigs that touch his breast; Though 'Ms gone now. Some rude gust Ca ight it, over full of snow— B ut the buffi —and robbed it so. Thus ur highest holds are lost By tb-r ruthless winter’s wind, When, with swift dismantling frost, Tho green woods we dwelt in, thinn’d Of their leafage, grow too cold F.r trail hoj ea of summer’s moli. But if we, with spring days mellow, Wake to woeful wrecks of change And the sparrow’s ritornello Scaling still its old sweet range; Can we do a better thing Thao, with him, still build and sing ? Oh my sparrow, thou dost breed Though in me beyond all telling ■Shooter through me sunlight seed, And fruilful blessing, with that welling Ripple of ecstatic rest, Gurgling ever from thy breast! Ami thy breezy carol spurs Vital ruction in my blood, Such a-, in the sapwood stirs, Swells and shapes the pointed bud Or the lilac; and besets The hollows thick with violets. Yet 1 know not any charm Tout can make the fleeting time Of thy sylvan faint alarm Suit itself to human rhyme; And my yearning rbymtbic word Dues thee grievous wrong, dear bird. So, h >wever thon hast wrought Tliis wild joy on heart and brain. It is better left untaught — Take thou up the song again: "here is notbirg sad afloat 0:i the tide that swells thy throat 1 All EXPENSIVE TRAIN, At the time when the first court of law was established in Russia, a lady, dressed with the utmost elegance, was walking on the Moscow promenade, leaning upon her husband’s arm, and lettirg the long train* of her rich dress .sweep the dust and dirt of the street. A young officer, coming hastily from *a side street, was so careless as to catch one of his spurs in the lady’s train, and in an instant a great piece was torn out of ihe costly but frail material of the dress, “I beg a thousand pardons, madame,” said the officer, with a po lite bow. and then was about passing on, when he was detained by the lady’s husband. “ You have insulted my wife.” 1 Nothing was further from ray in tendon, sir. Your wife’s long dress is to blame for the accident, which I sin cerely regret, and I beg you once more to rcceivb my apologies for any care lessness on my part.” Thereupon ho attempted to hasten on. “ You shah not escape so,” said the lady, with her head thrown back in a spirited way. “ To-day is the first time I have worn this dress, and it cost me two hundred rubles, which you must make good.” “ My dear madam, I beg you not to * detain me. lam obliged to go on duty at once. As to the two hundred rubles —I really cannot help the length of your dress, yet I beg your pardon for not having been more cautious.” “ foil shall not stir, sir. That you are obliged to go on duty is nothing to us. My wife is right; the dress must be made good.” The officer’s face grew pale. “ You force me to break through the rules of the service, and I shall receive punishment.” ‘ Pay the two hundred rubles and you are free.” The quickly changing color in the young man’s face betrayed how in wardly disturbed he was; but stepping close to them both, he said, with ap parent self-command: “ You will renounce your claim when I tell you that I am a—a —poor man, who has nothing to live on but his of fice;'. pay, and the amount of that pay haidh; reaches the sum of two hun dred rubles in a whole year. I can, therefore, make no amends for the misfortune, except by again begging your pardon.” “On! anybody could say all that; but we’ll see if it’s true; we’ll find out if you have nothing but your pay. I declare myself not satisfied with your -me my*,” persisted the lady, in the hard woks'- of a thoroughly unfeeling woman. ‘ That is true—you are right,” the husband added, dutifully supporting her. *• By good luck we have the open court now just in session. Go with us before the judge and he will decide the matter.” Aii further protestation on the offi cer’s pari that be -was poor, that he Vt A expected on duty, and eo forth, did not help matters. Out of respect for his uniform, and to avoid an open scene, he had to go with them to the court-room, where the gallery w*as densely packed with a crowd of people. - Aft-T waiting some time the lady had leave to bring her complaint. “ What have you to answer to this complaint?” said the judge, turning to the officer, who seemed embarrassed and half in despair. “On the whole, very little. As the lateness of the hour, and being requir ed on duty, compelled rne to hurry, I did not notice this lady’s train, which was dragging on the ground. I caught one of my spurs in it, and bad the misfortune to tear the dress. Madam would not receive my excuses, but perhaps now she might find herself mo* c disposed to forgiveness, when 1 igpft declare, so help me God, that I committed this awkward blunder without any mischievous intention, and 1 earnestly beg that she wuii pardon me.” • A murmur ran through the gallery, evidently from the people taking sides with tbe defendant, and against long trains in general and the lady in par itcular. The judge called to order, and asked ; “Are you satisfied with the defendant’s explanation ?” “ Not at all satisfied. I demand two hundred rubles in payment for my torn dre*s.” “ Defendant, will you pay this sura ?” “ I would have paid it long before this had I been in a position to do so. Unfortunately, lam poor. My pay as an officer is all I have to live on.” “ You hear, complainant, that the de fendant is not able to pay the sum you demanded of him. Do you still wish the complaint to stand ?” An unbroken stillness reigned throughout the hall, and the young officer’s breath could be heard coming hard, “ I wish it to stand. The law shall give me my rights.” There ran through the rows of people a murmur of indignation that sounded like a rushing of water. “Consider,, complainant, the conse quences of your demand. The defend ant can be punished only through being deprived of bis personal libt Ny, and by that you could obtain no satisfaction, while to the defendant it might prove the greatest injur3 r to his rank and posi tion as an officer, and especially as he is an officer who is poor and dependent upon his pay. Do you still insist upon your complaint ?” “ I still insist upon it.” The course the affair w r as taking seemed to have become painful to the lady’s husband. He spoke Avith his wife urgently, but, as could be seen by | the way she held up her head and the i energy with which she shook it, quite | uselessly. The judge was just going on !to further consideration of the case, 1 when a loud voice w r as heard from the j audience: “1 w r ill place the two hundred rubles i at the serA r ice of the defet daut.” There followed a silence, during ! which a gentleman forced his w r ay I through the crowd and placed himself ; by the young officer’s side. “ Sir, lam the Prince W., and beg I you will oblige me by accepting the i loan of the two hundred rubles in ques tion.” “ Prince, I am not w r orthy of your kindness, for I don’t know if I shall ever be able to pay the loan,” answered ; the young man, in a voice tremulous : with emotion. “Take the moneyed all events. I can wait until you are able to return it.” Tnereupon the prince held out two notes of a hundred rubles each, and coming close up to him, whispered a few words very softly. There Avas k sudden lighting up of the officer’s face. He immediately took the two notes, and turning toward the lady, handed them to her with a polite bow. “ I hope, madam, you are satisfied.” With a malicious smile she reached out her hand for the money. “Wes; now I am satisfied.” With a scornful glance over the crowd of spectators, she prepared to leave the court-room on her husband’s arm. “Stop, madam,” said the officer, who had suddenly become like another man, with a firm and confident, man ner. “ What do you want?” The look that the young woman cast upon him was as insulting as possible. “ I want my dress,” ho answered with a slight but still perfectly polite bow. “ Give me your address, and I will send it to 3*011.” “ Oh, no, m3 r dear madam, lam in the habit of taking my purchases with me at once. Favor me with the dress immediately.” A shout of approbation came from the gallery. “Order?” cried the judge. “What an insane demand !” cried the lady’s husband. “My wife cannot undress herself here.” “ I have nothing to do with you, sir, in this matter, bus only with tne com plainant. Be so good, madam, as to give me tbe dress immediately. lam in a great hurry; my affairs are urgent, and I cannot Avait a moment longer.” The pleasure of the audience at the expense of the lady increased with eA r ery word, until it was hard to enforce any approach to quiet, so that either party could be heard. “Do not jest any more about it. I will hurry and send 3 r ou the dress as soon as possible. “I am not jesting. I demand from the representative of the law my own property that —dress,” said the officer, raising his voice. The judge, thus appealed to, decided promptly. The officer is right, madam. You are obliged to hand him over the dress on the spot.” “ I can’t undress myself here before all these people, and go home without an} 7 dress on,” said the young woman, yiih anger and tears. “You should have thought of that sooner. Now you have no time to lose. Either give up the dress of your own accord, or ” A nod that could not be misinterpreted brought to the lady’s side two officers of justice, who seemed about to take upon themselves the office of my lady’s maid. “ Take your back, and lea\*e me my dress.” “ Oh, no, madam; that dress is now worth more than two hundred rubles to me.” “ How much do you ask for it ?” “ Two thousand rubles,” said the of ficer firmly. “I will pay the sum,” the weeping lady’s husband responded, promptly. “I have here five hundred rubles. Give me pen and paper and 1 will write an order upon my banker for the remain ing fifteen hundred.” After he had written the draft the worth}* pair withdrew, amidst hisses from the audience. A society has been formed in Siberia which compels all males to marry when of age, and makes the wife the head of the family, and the husband a j marked subordinate. Can it be that woman’s rights movement has been transferred from our country to Sibe ria? Where is Busan B. Anthony this year, anyway ? Soukdif g in the channel of the Mis sissippi near New Madrid show' that under the main current it is from 80 to 108 feet deep, reckoning from high water mark. A PERILOUS VOYAGE. ExpcxiMice of tin* Statps Stenmcr Oxsip©© In a.Oj’don*-.—Fearful Onslaught of Wind and Wavfs. —Suffering-* of thi Seamwn. The United States steamer Ossipee was caught in a cyclone on the 19th ult., off the coast of Florida. We ex tract the following from a letter written on board the steamer, giving the awful experiences of the vessel : The barometer commenced falling slowly at about two in the afternoon, and at sundown stood at 29.4 G (me curial), and at midnight had fallen to 29.80. The wind was then blowing heavily from the east by south with an indicated force of 8 (12 being maximum and 0 being minimum). These strong indications ©f a coming “blow” induced the Captain to head the ship to the eastward, put on all steam and sail, and run for sea room; away from the danger ous coast of Florida as well as from the equally dangerous Bahama Banks. At ten in the evening the storm was heavily upon us, and the sea running strong and high from the southward. Orders were given to batten down the hatches, which was speedily done, and all hands forced on deck. From this time the force of the wind gradually increased, and at two o’clock the next morning (Friday) a heavy sea came over the starboard (windward) rail, lift ed the steam cutter from her cradle and lashings and carried her inboard and deposited her in the gangway, nar rowly escaping oversetting the smoke stack of the ship. The same sea stove in the starboard forward port, breaking the heavy shutters and wrenching away their thick iron fastenings and hinges as though they had been leather. Heavy seas continues to come on board, each more heavy and threaten ing than the former, till finally one came tearing over the starboard quar ter with such momentum and violence tnat it tore away the hammock nettings and rails, and breaking through all ob ! structions into the ward and lire rooms i below nearly filled those places. One | part of tbe sea went aft and stove j in the cabin bulkhead and door, car | ried the four men away from the 1 wheel, flooded the cabin and quarter i deck to the depth of three feer, tossing , the officers and men about like rubber | balls, and destroying the furniture and I woodwork generally. Returning as the ! ship lurched, it carried away heavy I bulkheads with a force of many tons, I and finally went to sea again, over the i port side, by knocking out the heavy I ports of the pivot gun and smashing ! the launch that was stowed away on i the port rail. ’Twas quickly done, but I its effect was demoralizing, for every | body saw at a glance that we could not I stand many such onslaughts. How | ever, we soon became accustomed to 1 the seas and they had no terrors for I us, though they knocked as down and about the decks in a most promiscuous manner. One came flying entirely over the ship, and lighting in the launch tore it completely from its fas tenings, smashed it like an eggshell and took it off to sea. Many of her ! “ belongings” were stowed in her. such as sails, spars, oars, etc., all of which were branded with “ Ossipee.” Should any of these articles be picked up be fore our safety is known I expect con siderable anxiety will be felt. At about half-past nine o’clock, A. m., the storm had reached its fiercest force and fury. The barometer was down to 28.82, and the noise of the rushing wind was so great that it was impossible to hear the human voice unless the mouth of the speaker was placed close to the ear of the hearer. Sight was equally impossible, except to leeward, for the air was loaded with small globules of sea water, which struck the face and eyes and any ex posed part with the fierceness and sting of a myriad of bees. The men in get- I ing about the decks to attend their du | ties were thrown violently from their feet, and, blinded by the salt spray, were obliged to go gropiug as if they were in total darkness. They could only stick to their stations by tne most desperate struggling against the hatches, gratings, doors, deck buckets, and many other articles that were being swept back and across the decks by the rushing of the water as the ship rolled and tossed. Breathing was diffi cult, and the air taken into the lungs was so loaded with sea salts that it caused excessive irritation, producing violent coughing and vomiting. The suffering of the men was most intense, especially among the firemen and coal heavers, who were not only deprived of ventilation but obliged to inhale the salt water steam produced by the seas, rushing into the fire room. Things weie looking pretty blue. It was then thought advisable to encourage the men by the use of stimulants. The surgeon found a sufficient quantity to give all bands a “ tot ” each and sent it to tne cabin to be distributed. Just then tne storm began to come more in gusts, with intervals of quiet, and in five minutes there was a dead calm. Ominous still was the wind to ears that had once heard the typhoon. Until now everybody had hoped that the storm was simply a straight line hurricane. When the calm cat&e, faces bright ened and looked ruddy that but a mo ment before were gloomy and blanched with dread. Officers * congratulated each other on their safe escape from the storm, but one old croaker, as he was voted at the time, who had been keeping an anxious eye on the barome ter, recommended that we delay “whistling till we get out of the woods.” We then went up on the poop, to hear “ what the wild waves were saying.” We found them acting mo A fantastic ally. As soon as the wind had ceased, the seas commenced lifting up their huge backs in long, rolling waves of immense size, which seemed to roll from nowhere in particular, and were going and coming everywhere. They piled themselves over and against each other in a strangely confused manner, that caused the ship to pitch and roll so fearfully that it was nearly impos sible to keep one’s footing. Riding on the backs of these huge bil lows, were smaller seas, white-crested and cone-shaped, that would leap up toward the clouds, topple over and dis appear, and give place to others, which seemed to be thrown out from the in terior of the long seas with volcanic force. Thus, as far as the eye could reach, in all directions about, the hor izon, this dance of the waves, this Ti tanic cancan went on —sea piling on sea, like Pelion upon Ossa. Sometimes one of these huge seas would come thundering down upon us, bearing upon its back a load of smaller waves, in such force as to threaten instant de struction. On one occasion, three of these “ riders” were upset so near the ship that their tops came tumbling on board from three directions at once, one over either bow, and one over the poop. The ship trembled and creaked, and stopped rolling for a moment, and seemed to shake herself free from this grasp of the waves, and slowly surged ahead again from the impulse of the engines. The sky during this time presented a no less ominous appearance than did the sea. Banks of ashen-hued clouds lay along the horizon, while overhead broken scuds sped across the zenith from different directions, but principal ly from the north. A heavy, rumbling sound would occasionally come from somewhere, like the distant roar of an earthqaake. The barometer continued stationary at 28.82, with frequent but slight oscillations. All these indications convinced the most skeptical that the old croaker “ had croaked prophetic,” and that we had passed through one hemisphere of a cyclone and were then in its vortex or centre. Thus were we convinced that we had the dis comfort, dreadful suspense and hard work to go over again, and that right speedily. 80 we heaved sighs nearly as bjg as the waves outside, tried to joke and look smiling, but it was of no use. Our hearts were too heavy and our stomachs too empty, is we had had nothing to eat for the L„st twenty-four hours and but warm water to drink. So we commenced getting everything taut for the next onset of the storm. At about fifteen minutes of noon a lit | tie puff of wind and rain came from i the north. The barometer rose two tenths of an inch but immediately fell ! back again. The ship’s head was ‘brought quickly around to the north, and just in time for the storm to strike us “ butt end foremost.” It came from the northwest by north. Had we been ! five minutes later in getting around the ! wind would have caught us on the broadside and certainly capsized us. The little rain squall from the north about five minutes before the storm struck us the second time was the first indication that we had as to which : hemisphere of the meteor had passed I over us and from whence to expect the | second half. ! Within five minutes of the com ! mencement of the second attack the i cyclone had us again in its jx)werfnl I grasp. For the space of two hours and forty two minutes the storm was more ; fearful than in the morning, and in ten minutes the wind had completely flat tened out the “ riding seas ” and was exerting such a heavy pressure upon the “rollers ” that they could do but little mischief. The voice of the wind was pitched in a most fearful key. I might say in several fearful keys, no two of which were in harmony, like that of a thousand women shrieking in the terrors of a nightmare combined with a metallic cracking vibration like | the highest notes of a calliope and steam tog whistle. The sufferings of the sailors weie repeated and intensi fied, as was the moral effect upon everybody else. The sheets and storm staysails were carried away with a re port like that of a cannon almost as soon as they were set. The ship was held down to leeward and pressed into the water by the force of the wind. The seas made clean sweeps over both bulwarks. The fires were extinguished in the lee furnaces. The fore and main topgallant masts were snapped off like clay pipe stems, ana all sorts of debris was thrashing about the deck. At twenty minutes past one the barometer commenced to rise steadily though very slowly, and at two o’clock the fiercest of the wind began to come in gusts, with intervals of lesser violence which intervals became longer and longer till three o’clock, from which time till midnight it gradually eased off to a steady blow from the northwest. Thus ended the most violent storm it was ever my lot to experience, and I have met cyclones and typhoons and borers and pamperos and ail sorts of storms on nearly all seas. . This one lasted but twenty-six hours. At the time it struck us we were about twenty miles t© the east and south of Cape Canaveral light and in the gulf stream, and when it left us were about ninety miles to the northward and eastward of that light. The meteor approached from tne southward, and vve entered at the upper right hand arc—looking north—passed throngn its vortex near ly at its axis, and out through the southern and western arc, the storm having been deflected to the north north-east while passing over us, prob ably by the Cape. Another Enoch Arden. Baltimore Sun. An incident has come to light in Baltimore lately which recalls the story of Enoch Arden. Charles Coates, who left his home three years ago and was believed to be dead, returned lately to find that his wife was again married. He was the driver of an ice wagon, and says he has been in the western states. Shortly after his disappearance the body of a. drowned man w T as found in the Eastern District, an inquest was held by Coroner Sulzer, and the re mains were interred in the old Metho d.st cemetery, on Point lane, north of Greenmount. The wife believed the body was that of her absent husband, and made application to Mt. Vernon Lodge No. 13, Knights of Pythias, and William Louis Schley Lodge of Me chanics for benefits due in such cases. The body was disinterred twice under the supervision of the coroner in the presence of committees of the lodges, and it was finally decided not to pay the benefits for lack of satisfactory identification. The returned husband, it is understood, does not intend inter fering with the present marital rela tions of bis wife, but claims possession of his child. of the Lick House, Ban Francisco, injured by the explosion of the steam table, in September, 1875, have brought damage suits against the Lick trustees, and ask for $70,000. A WESTERN BABYLON. Sketch of City—The Wickedest City of tli© Pacific Slope. Letter to St. Louis Republican. The sensations of a stranger on en tering Virginia City are novel in the ex treme, and bis astonishment increases hourly for several days—if by virtue of being well supplied with coin he is en abled to remain that long. There is certainly no such other place in the universe. This may be said, on the whole, to be fortunate for humanity; for —excepting always Chicago—this is the wickedest place in the world. There is no Sunday, although there are church edifices; there is little religion, though several preachers. The streets, night and day, are a surging mass of human forms. The men are the largest, finest looking, best dressed and most intelligent that I have ever seen, ihey come from almost every quarter of the habitable globe, though of course in limited numbers from each section. They are, as a rule, generous and lavish in the expenditure of money. They seem to have no con ception of the real value and legiti mate blessings of wealth. They live for to-day only, and literally take no thought for the morrow; consequently it not infrequently happens that a man who is flush to-day wull be found penniless to-morrow. But he will not remain so long, especially if he has many acquaintances, for he will soon “ raise a stake ” either by the assist ance of friends or at the gaming-table, and, with a light and joyous heart will join the reckless throng that sweep the streets. It is at night that Virginia City appears in her most dazzling aspect. The thoroughfares are then even more densely packed than during the day. C street, the main avenue of traffic, is then in a blaze of glory. Brilliant chandeliers illuminate the innumerable saloons, billiard hall?, gaming houses, restaurants, etc., etc. Many of these establishments are fitted up in gorgeous style, rivalling the most famous and at tractive dens in New York and Chi cago. In the gambling rooms especi ally the appointments are superb. Costly mirrors, elegant furniture, vel vetry carpets, render the place luxuri ant, while upon the tables —a veritable feast for the eyes—may be seen stacks of gold and silver. On a faro table of one of the saloons, a few evenings since, I saw at least a peck of gold twenties, piled up symmetrically, and the dealer was thus prepared to “size the pile ” of any adventurer into the jungle where the tiger reigns. There are always crowds in attendance at these nightly seances of the Royal Bengal. As many as can find room at the table stake their money; others pa tiently wait their turn. Many are there, however, for curiosity’s sake, or because they find a comfortable lounging place. The reader must not imagine that the way of the faro table | here is up two or three dark and winding stair cases into a dis mal back room guarded by vigilant “ bouncers,” whose business it is to keep out “ suspicious” characters (i. e., fly cops). Oh, no. In this State every j body gambles. Not all of them at I faro, of course; but, if not at faro, in stocks, which is just as unsatisfactory and uncertain. Gambdng is not only tolerated by society, but protected and authorized by law. For example, in regard to faro, it is provided by legisla tive enactment, that proprietors shall pay a uniform tax of S4OO per quarter to the State. Then the municipalities, of course, come in for a liberal share of the gamblers’ spoils in the shape of local taxess. Thus each faro table is compelled to pay between two and three thousand dollars per annum for governmental expenses. How they must bleed their customers to make ends meet can be imagined by the av erage citizen. Gambling in stocks, as intimated above, is the universal evil. Its nature is well understood in the East as well as in the West. Stock speculation here is practically the same as it is in New York. There is an essen tial difference, however, in the charac ter of the operators. Capitalists and brokers deal mostly in Eastern stocks, while here facilities are provided and every encouragement given to persons of small means to invest their savings in mining stocks. The modus operandi whereby the big fishes swallow the small ones is pretty generally known. Yet people do not learn from expe rience, and the consequence is that they are continually being squeezed, and are kept poor perpetually. Humors of Centennial Travel. Centennial visitors are abroad by thousands and tens of thousands, and that public conveyances are taxed to their utmost will be seen by the foliow ing extract from a letter by a lady to a friend in this city, reciting a night’s ex perience on one of the Sound boats: Soon after you left, the lady sitting on my right invited baby to take a walk. He accepted, and on their re turn we formed a traveling acquaint ance, and from her I learned that when boats are crowded, as on that night, ladies and ail secure mattresses if possible, and camp down anywhere. So when the mattresses began to be dis tributed we spoke for one, and the only way to retain it was to step on it and stand and wait till sheets were given out. It was really laughable to see the eagerness with which they were sought. We slept near where you left us in the passageway. It was all filled in solid there with mattresses —only just a little space for a path left at the foot. Some had not even chairs. On one side were ladies and no gentlemen, except husbands of some of the wives. There was a party of ten or a dozen “ Centennial visitors” on my right, and when 1 went to sleep there was a lady on each side of me. I awoke after a while and attempted to turn over, being tired of laying on my left side, and who should I see but a great man close to my back and on my mattress. I knew that he was an honest country man and his wife the other side of him, so I thought the most sensible thing under the ciscumstances was to turn my back to him and go to sleep again. After a while he left, and be fore morning I discovered that another and an older man was there. Such an experience I never had before. I laugh when I think of it. I think I had better return via the cars. —New York Graphic . TVit and Humor. A writes describing: the last scene of •Othello,” said: “Upon which the ■Vloor, seizing a bolster full of rags and fury, smothers her.” A ranchman has observed a hole in ( lie mountains near Truckee, Cal., large enough for the Mammoth Gave in Ken tucky to go into and turn around in. Two deaf mutes discussed politics in xSew York city, tne other evening, be fore an audience composed almost ex clusively of persons who never had heard a sound in their lives. TS a or . Je best,” remarked Blinks, with a sign, as he paid for the hat he had lost. “Kay,” interposed the lucky man, “ Mis all for the better ” Blinks accepted the amendment, It will be a matter of disappoint ment to many to learn that Sergeant Bates has decided not to carry the Russian flag through Turkey just at present. Somebodx remarks that young ladies look upon a bov as a nuisance until he is past the age of sixteen, when be generally doubles up in value each until, like a meerschaum pipe, he is priceless. “ Ugh, ugh !” says Sitting Bull, “me heap wish cruel war be over; else, winter he be gone—all same. Heap oig brave no like crawl ’long snowbank shoot white sojer. Ugh, ugh ! freeze Injun like um rattlesnake.” A physician, meeting a merry young lady, inquired if he could do anything ror her. Having just returned from rnnaoelphia, she replied: “Oh, yes! i have a hemorrhage of the pocket book.” “ Well,” said he, with a “ irre sistible” in the corner of his eye, “I think nitrate of silver will best agree with you.” A farmer who had sent a bale of cotton to a warehouse instructed a merchant to have the same sold. The merchant complied with the request, and the staple w r aa disposed of. The farmer upon examining his statement, was heard muttering to himself: “Dray age, wharfage, mistakeage, storage, leakage, weighage—well, I’ll take the balance out in fightage.” o o The following notes were banded in to a Michigan jury while they were de liberating on a case: “F.: If you bring a verdict of guilty against the accused we will never buy an article of cloth ing in your store.” “C.: If you say guilty we will never take another drink at your place.” “T.: If you find a ver dict of guilty we will never buy a soup tureen at your house.” A pedagogue told one told one of his scholars, a son of the Emerald Isle, to spell hostility, “ H-o-r-s-e horse,” began Pat. “ Kot horsetilily,” said the teach er, “but hostility.” “Sure,” replied Pat, “ ’an didn’t ye tell me, the other day, not to say boss? Be jabers, it’s one thing wid ye one day, and another the nixt.’, A Chinaman at the Centennial wants a mouthful of new teeth. A civilized joker gave the heathen a lot of walnuts and he cracked ’em as you would so many chestnuts. The effort made his eyes stand more than ever, and his teeth snap off like pipe stems. “ Allee same shells luffeelike bullets.” he remarked as the sixth tooth snapped off— Norr. Htrali. Yesterday a horse doctor was brought up in the Supreme Court as a witness. His replies to the numerous questions offered were in an exceeding ly low tone, and one or the members of the bar at last spoke out sharply that he must reply so that he could be un derstood, or he could not proceed. Judge Peters then said: “I suppose the trouble arises from the habit of speaking low in the sick room.” — Ban gor Commercial. An old hunter in Michigan, when the country was new, got lost in the woods several times. He was told to buy a pocket compass, which he did, and a friend explained its use. He soon got lost, and laid out as usual. When found he was asked why he did not travel by the compass. He stated that he did not dare to. He wished to go north, and he “tried hard to make the thing go north, but ’twas no use; ’twould diddle, diddle, diddle right round, and point southeast every time. The late Rev. Dr. John Muir, of Glasgow, was for some time minister of the beautiful parish of Lecropt, in Perthshire. He had returned tc that parish to assist his successor, on one of the days of worship, at the com munion season. In his morning walk he met with a shrewd old woman with whom he had been m the habit of con versing familiarly. “ What a lovely view, Kate,” said the doctor, pointing to the Carse of Sterling; “I can fancy this is just like Paradise.” “ Ov, ay, sir,” responded Kate, “ but wae’s me, for I aye fancy you’re like Adam; ye war in Paradise, but ye wadna bide.” She is a daughter of sunny France, and she enters the store with a box about a foot square ail covered with tinsel. She lays the box down and says: “ Five cent for a peep inside the box for each one of you; or ten cents for the crowd.” One gentleman hands out ten cents; the woman causes the door to be closed, and with an air of profound of profound mystery,proceeds to undo the fastenings io the lid of the box. The lookers-on gather around and breathlessly watch proceedings. Soon the lid is raised, and the specta tors behold —a lot of china dolls, fanci fully dressed, little bits of looking-glass and some more tinsel. Someone says “ Sold,” and the woman smiles bland ly, and says “ Bonjour,” and glides out. New Bedford Standard . A couple belonging to one of the coast towns of Fife, who had been but a few months married, recently took advantage of the railway to Edinburgh, to see the ceremonial at the laying of a foundation stone. The young wife proposed staying a few days with her friends in Edinburgh, hut it was neces sary that her husband should proceed homeward by the boat on Saturday morning. To try the strength of his helpmate’s affection, he remarked that he “ doubtit the boat wad be sae heavy laden that they wad a’ gang to the bottom.” “ Dae ye think sae ? ” re sponded his affectionate partner. "Then, John Anderson, ye haa bette leave the key o’ the house wi’ me.’