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WATKRTOWN, 'VIS. Wednesday, April 7, 1880, THE HAPPY BUD. BY EUDOBA MAY STONE. A bud droops low on a grassy lea, — She does not know what her fute will be; So she wails, and longs and sips the dew And tings the song that I sing to you: “ I am so small, And the world so wide, — The trees are so tall That whisper and call By the brooklet’s side. That I could not see, Should I open my eyes, The sunny lea, Or the waters free, Or the beautiful skies. “ So foolish I seem, And the world so wise, That I cannot dream What flower will gleam When I greet the skies. “ But though I’m so small. And the world is so wide, — Though the trees are so tall That whisper and call By the bix oklet’s side, — I’ll do my best To be sweet and bright I And I’h woik and wait Tor a worthy fute, Till I find the light.” O happy bud on the grassy leal Filled with the beauty that is to be; Well may she trust to the sun and dew, As she sings the song that I sing to you. — St, Nicf ola*. [From tho Bangor Commercial.] AILEEN CLARY. A Story of the Irish Famine. Morning in the ‘ * ould country. ’ ’ Jlist as fair and sweet a morning as ever glad dened human eyes. The morning wind sobbed tremulously through the dewy trees, as if shadowy night wept tears of pain as she floated aw r ay to make room for a visitant In the east the horizon seemed studded with bars of amethyst and emerald, while lilmy, arrowy streaks of gold shot up and were lost in the blue overhead. Then the sun gathered about him his trailing garments of crimson and purple and began his upward journey. “ Dance light, for my heart lies under your feet, love,’’ the blithe song floated out through the lattice, which the next moment was pushed open, and the fra grant air, heavy with night dew that had lain for hours sleeping in bloom and roses, rushed m and fanned with odorous breath the face of Aileeu Clary. Soft tendril-like curls that clung in ebon rings around the low satin, smooth forehead; eyes that sparkled like dew drops on a shamrock; cheeks of summer bloom and lips of summer ripeness made up a face thax would have tempted an anchorite. A smile rippled over the face of the pretty Irish maiden as she caught sight of a tall, young fellow slowly coming oward the cottage. “ And sure, Neil,” she called in a voice like brook music, “ You are rather an early bird, are you not, for tne sun is hardly up yet,” and going to the door she gayly welcomed him, all the time wondering what made him so sober, so unlike the usually cheery Neil O’Neale. “Aileen, I am going to America,” was Neil’s abrupt announcement. “What!” uttered the maid, gazing up into her companion’s face, aa the smile faded from her own. “ Going to Amer ica.” “You surely do not mean to leave us,” and the radiant light to at had made her face so enchanting a few moments before faded into ashiness. “ Yes, dear, I must go.” “No, no, Neil, you do not mean so. Oh, if you go what shall I do! All the long, long days to sit and cry because I am so lonely. You will not, Neil. Tell me you will not.” She pleaded as one pleads for a life, and her hard, dry sobs strangled in her throat, but her eyese were tearless and her breath came in quick, painful gasps. Neil gathered the trembling little figure closely to his heart. “ Aileen, I have been thinking ever since father died that poverty and sorrow would always be our portion if we should remain here where .‘he rent would eat up the little I could _aise. If I should go to America I could soon earn enough to enable me to come back after you, and together we would return to that coun try where a home awaits every man that is willing to work. So dry your tears Aileeu and bid me God-speed, will you not, mavoumeen ?” he said, in a low, as suring tone. Smiling through tears at his hopeful "words, Aileen soon became almost re conciled at the thought of bidding him good-bye. “ But two years is such a long time, Neil. I tremble for fear that you will not come back,” said Aileen, in a voice that sounded as if it came through waves of tears. “ Aileen, you know that I could not forget you. ” “ I know it, Neil But something tells me in this parting hour that after you are gone that dark-faced agent, Morris Leinster, will trouble me. I re fused him, you know, and at the time he frightened me, he was so very angry ?” Could the girl have perceived the effect of her words on the listener crouched behind the lattice she would have screamed from very fear. A blaze of jealous, white heat spread over the dark face of the spy; his eyes darkened "with a fierce and evil light; his lips compressed with bitter hatred, and he ground his teeth together as he mut tered to himself: “You may well fear Morris Leinster my fine Lady, for the day will come when you, a peasant farmer’s daughter, will rue that you slighted ihe* hand of the rich agent for the sake of that beardless non of poverty.” The agent crouched behind the lattice until he became aware that the young couple were coming to the door. Then he hastily hid himself in a clump of bushes that grew close by the cottage. And there he stood, with his livid face, compressed bps and eyes gleaming like a basalisk’s, while Aileen gave her lover the premised, cheerful Godspeed, then silently left the vicinity of the Clary cottage with a terrible unspoken vow written on the evil face. * ♦ ♦ ♦ * * “ Bread! Bread! We are starving!” Che ciy arose, first low, tremulous, as from a sea of tears, then deepened and swelled into a great miserere going up before the throne of the Eternal Spirit. It crossed the ocean and vibrated over the sentient heart-strings of all those who heard, for it told them that the “Jewel of the Atlantic ” was holdingout imploring hands, and praying for life— that over the beautiful island stalked the grim skeleton of famine, converting it into a vast wane-press, though the crim son, oozing fluid was not wine, but blood, from those who are among the noblest of the sons of earth. “ Starving!” We who live in a laud of plenty with its immense storehouses, its great granaries filled to overflowing with golden grain, hardly know the meaning of the word, and "God grant that the hunger wolf may never step over our thresholds—that we may never be ob liged to refuse the demands of hunger till it scorches, withers even the great passions of life by sts incessant calls foi food. And famine forgot not the home of the Clarys. The rounded form of Aileen grew thin and wasted; besides a gray pallor her face had a wan, pinched look; the lips, always so brilliant and laugh ing, became rigid and ashen lined, and every feature bore the trace of intense suffering, but not a word escaped her, tor the pain of witnessing the agony of her parents as they saw their children wasting to skeletons, as they beheld the younger children, begging vainly, mute ly, with little, chaw-like hands for food that they had no strength to ask for, numbed even the pangs of hunger. Then, in those days of wretchedness and woe, came anew trial of the brave hearfed girl She never forgot the thrill of terror that caused her heart to beat with groat frightened bounds, as she be held the dark face of the agent in the doorway one cold morning. He came into the cold room, laughed triumph antly at the evidences of want about him, took a cool survey of the face over which settled a shadow of fear, and said in a sneering tone: “So, my deer Aileen, you haven’t slipped out of my hands as easy as you thought for.” Then he taunted the family with their poverty—goaded her father almost to frenzy by threatening to turn his starv ing family out in the snow to die. At last he said, tantaliziugly: “ Keep your temper, Mr. Clary! I merely called to tell you of a way by which your family could be lifted above want. ” “How?” eagerly, imploringly asked Clary. “ I will provide a way if Miss Aileen wall consent to become my wife,” and his eyes rested gloatingly on the shud dering girl He said it in a loud tone and at the conclusion of the sentence every mem ber of the family turned an eager, fam ishing look upon Aileen. She could not bear their intolerable gaze, and with a slight cry she threw up her hands and covered her face. But she said, firmly: “No no; I cannot be so false.” Not another word w r as said until the agent, laughing scornfully, left the cot tage. He knew that the faces and forms about Aileen would be more eloquent in his behalf than any plea or threat that he could make. “Aileen,” groaned her father, “is your heart turning to stone ? Have you no compassion on those who are dying?” “ Aileen,” moaned her mother, “how could you say no, when you see the chil dren starving before your eyes ? ” and a feeble cry arose from the children that went to the very heart-core of the suffer ing true-hearted Aileen. She arose, crossed the floor unsteadily and opened the door, A woman staggered up bear ing a babe in her arms. “ Bread ! ” she gasped, “ my child and I are dying, dying for food.” The despairing look in Aileen’s face told the woman that her prayer could not be answered. The woman gave a cry of anguish. “ Oh, girl you cannot let my baby die ! See how pale and thin he is.’ ; Aileen started back m horror as a lit tle dead face was placed close to hers, and then for the first time she noticed that the fires of insanity blazed in the woman’s hollow eyes. The poor crea ture turned and staggered off, leaving Aileen to make a resolve that she imme diately carried out. She left he cottage and started in the direction of the house in which the agent lived. She walked slowly, for aside from a hunger-weakness a sicken ing agony sped through every pulse, and her very limbs seemed chilled with an guish. She reached the house at last and rapped feebly. A servant admitted I her and led the way into the agent’s sit ting-room. An evil leer disfigured the face of Morris Leinster, as he said: “ Ah! how do you do, my dear ? Will you please be seated?” Aik u dropped into a chair without a word. Her torture was too intense for words at the first moment. At last, through bps that quivered painfully, came the faiutly uttered words: “ Mr. Leinster I have called to inform ! you that—that I have changed my de cision. I consent to become your wife ; if you will keep my family from starv ing.” How utterly dreary and despairing was the pathos of her voice! but Morris Lemster did not mind her, but smiling I said: “ Very well, Aileen! I will bring a ' priest over to your house this afternoon Ito perform the ceremony. Good-bye , for a very little time, my dear little wife | to be.” He put his arm around the shrinking girl and drew her toward him. Aileen saw the horrible light in his eyes as he | bent his head toward her, and with a i scream she dashed his arm away and left the house. Lenister stood before I the window and watched Aileen till her flagging steps told him that her mo i mentary strength had departed, and then he turned away, rubbing his hands I and chuckling to himself. “ It is of as much use to beat against I the bars of fate as it is to thwart one of my plans. Ah! my dainty Aileen, your discipline has just begun.” Aileen went on, unheeding whither she went. She only longed to get away I from even the signt of the house in : which she had spent fifteen wretched moments. On, on, until her strength utterly failed, and it seenud as if she never could reach her home. But at last she reached it and told her family what she bad done. Their fervent thanks fell upon ears that heard nothing. “Oh, Neil! Neil!” was Aileen’s smoth ered cry. “What can I do? I hate Morris Leinster, I loathe even the very sight of him, and how can I endure to become his wife ?” But a knowledge that an eternal break down would be agonizing to the whole family prevented her from giving expression to the inward anguish that was torturing her with in quisitorial pain. Quickly, oh, so quickly, the hours sped away. She counted every moment as a miser counts his gold. But she knew that Morris Leinster would keep his w r ord, and she was not unprepared when the agent and a strange priest en tered the cottage. Her father greeted them, and then turned toward Aileen. Mechanically she arose and placed an ice cold hand on the agent’s. Slowly the ceremony began. Why did Aileen neglect to answer the ques tions of the priest ? She bent toward the door in a listening attitude, then snatching away her hand, she disappear ed through the door, for astonishment sealed her lips. They were not less amazed to see a bronzed and bearded man enter the still open door, carrying in his arms a senseless burden. Neil O’Neale’s quick wit gave a solution to the scene that met his eyes. He pointed to the door, and his eyes gleamed like blue stilettoe, as he said in a stern imperative tone, “ Go, and bear in mind that if you cross the pathway of Aileen Clary again you take your life in your hands.” Foil ed, the cowering agent slunk aw ay. The priest, at a motion of Neale’s, remained. Soon Aileen had so far recovered as to be able to place the no longer reluctant hand in Neal’s, and say the words that bound her to him forever. If blessings could make a man happy, surely Neal O’Neale must have been the happiest man in Ireland, as he distributed w ith generous hand among the starving people of the little village, the bountiful supply that his forethought had provided. Before the Clary family separated that night Neil told them wiiy he had come back before the two years had ex pired. “I arrived all right in America and found every one talking about some won derful mines that had lately been dis covered, and I joined a party that was going to the Black Hills. Well, to make long story short luck followed me and I had a snug sum when I started for New York. There I heard that Ireland was in sorrow anil I sailed as soon as possi ble for the “ ould countrie.” Soon Neil and the Clary family emigrated for America, but the last words they heard, as they left the shores of Ireland, was the wail that still crosses the ocean, “Bread! Bread! We are starving!” DOMESTIC MATTERS. NICE INDIAN GRIDDLE CAKES. One and a half cupfuls flour, one and a half cupfuls Indian meal, one egg, one small pint sour milk, half a teaspoonful soda. BUTTERED EGOS. Four eggs w’ell beaten, three table spoonfuls cream or milk, a little grated tongue or beef, pepper and salt, three ounces of butter; put into a stew pan un til quite hot, then add the eggs, stir all the time until quite thick. Have a slice of bread ready, toasted and buttered, spread the mixture upon it, and send it to table very hot. VIRGINIA BISCUIT. One quart flour, one half teaspoonril salt, one-quarter pound butter; mix the flour and butter, with the hand, togeth er, and moisten with water; roll it out very thin three times, and beat with the rolling pin each time; roll as thin as a piece of paper; cut with a saucer and bake in sheets. These are particularly nice for lunch. ENGLISH ARROW-ROOT BLANC MANGE. Mix a teacupful of arrow-root with a little cold milk, mb it smooth; boil a pint of milk with 10 sweet and 4 bitter almonds, having pounded them smooth first, and having blanched them; sweeten this milk to taste with pulverized sugar; strain carefully; then pour this milk gradually into the arrow-root, stirring all the time; boil for five minutes, and pour into a mold to cool. POTATO PUDDING. Beat well together II ounces mashed potatoes, 4 ounces of butter, 4 ounces of line sugar, five eggs, and the grated rind of 1 small lemon; a pinch of salt, add one-half glass of brandy; pour it in a mold or dish well greased, and bake it. Be careful to mash the potatoes as smooth as possible, and adding a little butter at first helps to make them smooth. BEEF CAKES. Take some cold roast beef, that wddeh is underdone is best, and mince it very fine; mix with it grated bread crumbs and a little chopped onion and parsley; season it with pepper and salt, and moisten it with some beef dripping and walnut sauce; some scraped cold tongue or grated ham will be found an improve | ment; form it into broad flat cakes, and I spread a layer of mashed potatoes thinly on top and bottom of each; lay a small I bit of butter on the top of each cake; place them on a dish and set them in an oven to brown. SNOW PUDDING. One-half box gelatine, pour warm water on it enough to cover it, and let it stand about three minutes, then add one pint boiling water to dissolve it; add the juice of one lemon, two cups sugar; let it stand and cool; beat the whites of I three eggs to a stiff froth and add to the j gelatine, beating all one hour; put in I mold; make the custard of the yolks; | when taken from the mold, pour the cus : tard around it, or, if you choose, you I can trim with jelly. I FRESH HERRINGS WITH BROWNED BUTTER. Put them in a fish-kettle with just j enough cold water to cover them, put in ; salt, pepper, carrots, onions, cloves, parsley, thyme, a bay leaf, and a tum • bier of vinegar, cover the fish with a | cover that will fit into the kettle so as to i keep the fish covered with the water; I let it heat until just about to boil up I well; let it remain in the water until you | can bear your fingers in it. Place the fish on a platter sprinkled with salt and pepper; brown some butter, putting some chopped parsley in it, and heating a tablespoonful of vinegar, pour over it To be served hot. Sunday is the golden clasp that binds the volume of the week. SEASONABLE FARM HINTS. In selecting turf for use around beds and along walks, etc., see that no unwel come weeds are thereby introduced. The foundation for the turf should be as care fully prepared as for seed. A solid foundation is the only surety for a good walk or drive; and to secure this, use large stones for the bottom, be gin below the reach of frost, and smaller ones near the surface. A walk or drive that is cheap in the beginning will al ways be unsatisfactory and dear in the end. For keeping up the freshness and vigor of the lawn, a spring dressing should be given, either of ashes, guano, fine bone, nitrate of soda, or a rich and thoroughly fine compost. Sow grass seed on any bare spots. .In planting or namental trees, grouping, rather than formal planting or setting in row's, is to be encouraged, so far as the nature and size of the grounds will permit it to be done. Directly after the sow has her young ones she must be fed with house slops, containing scraps of meat, or it is very probable when her family is small her natural yearning for meat will cause her to begin to eat them, and then farewell to all hope of profit. This yearning for meat is caused by by confining the mother’s diet altogether to heating com or other dry food. If the sow has house slops and milk she will never be so likely to eat her young. The bearing peach tree cannot be cultivated too often. The soil must at all times be kept loose. Cultivation can be kept up until the fruit is ripe. The new growth of wood in a bearing tree ceases to grow early in the season; and there is no danger in stimulating a late growth, for the fruit consumes all the extra sap caused by cultivation. Stir ring the soil should be thoroughly kept up, so that any time, between the setting of the fruit and its being picked, ;you can run your hand right into the soil and fill it with loose dirt. The pernicious and miserable habit of caving fowls to forage for themselves we have always condemned; and the other equally indiscreet habit of half feeding or supplying but scanty allow ance to poultry is quite as objectionable and alike deserving of discouragement. Give the chickens a good, w r arm house; keep it clean. Let them have good, clean food and water, and then you can rest assured you have done your duty, and they will do theirs with interest added. — American Stockman. In answer to questions as to the best time and manner of sowing salt, as also the proper quantity to use, the following answers are given: The best time to sow salt is in the spring; and it ought to be the first thing done on either fall or spring plowing, as all the after-stirring of the land assists in its equal distribu tion through the soil. The best and easiest method of sowing salt, in the absence of a machine for that purpose, is to sow' it out from the rear end of a wagon —the sower using both hands, while the team is moving at a slow walk; in this way, thirty to forty acres can be sowed in one day. The quantity used may be from 150 to 300 pounds per acre; but the greater quantity is the better.— Prairie Farmer. Now that Alsike clover seed has be come comparatively plenty and cheap, it is common to sow from three to five bushels to the acre. It should be sown quite early in the spring and covered very lightly. A pound of seed to the acre may be sow’n to excellent advantage on land seeded to timothy and red clover two or three years previous. The red clover generally disappears at the end of three years, and Alsike may be made to take its place with little trouble. Before setting apart a field to pasture animals it is well to sow Alsike clover seed on the sod and to scratch it in with a light har row. No beekeeper can afford to be without a patch of this valuable honey plant. Alsike clover is ornamental as well as useful. Sown on the banks of a stream, along the sides of fences and roads, and on hills and knolls, it pre sents a beautiful appearance. C. T. Alvord contributes the follow ing to the American Cultivator in re gard to his method of feeding lambs: “As soon as they had got to eating hay well, I commenced giving them Swedish or rutabaga turnips, cut fine, once a day. After they would eat turnips well I commenced giving them a little com once a day, and after that I grad ually increased the feed of turnips and com from week to week, as they would bear it, being careful to give them no more at a time than they would eat up clean. The same rule was also observed in feeding them hay, only rowen hay being fed to them. They were fed with hay the first thing in the morning, and after they had eaten their hay the tur nips were fed. At noon they were again fed with hay. At night they were fed with com, and, after that hay was given them again. They had access to water once a day, and were given salt once a week. Very few plants produce as much or as valuable food as red clover. It makes excellent hay, although it is more diffi cult to cure than the common grasses. Hogs will‘not do well on grass, but they will thrive in a clover pasture. They will even eat large quantities of clover after it is cured. The cheapest way to cure hogs during the summer is to give them the run of a clover pasture well supplied with water. Clover produces a large amount of milk which has a pleas ant aroma. Sheep are very fond of clover, either in the green or dried state. Clover affords in this region excellent pasturage for all kinds of stock late in the season. Many of the grasses that produce much food in the early part of the season afford very little after the drought that ordinarily prevails during August. Clover, however, takes a “ sec ond start,” and grows very rapidly on the occasion of the first considerable rainfall. On warm days the boxes of plants should be carried out of doors, where they will get more air and be gradually hardened or accustomed to the change which they will undergo when set out in the garden. Many persons fail to raise stocky and healthy plants in this way, because they sow the seed too quickly and then neglect, to transplant the seedlings when young. As soon as toma to plants are an inch or two high, they should be transplanted from the boxes in which the seed was sown into others provided for the purpose, and in doing this allow sufficient space to permit a good stocky growth. The boxes may not be more than three or four inches deep, and of a size convenient to handle or set on the window sill. It is also a good plan to pinch off the top leaves of the plants when three or four inches high, as this will make them throw out side branches, and prevent their be coming too tall and slender. —New York Sun. How often have we suggested to those having sufficient ground for a garden, and especially farmers, to pay increased attention to this important appendage of family comfort. Farmers, as a rule, are entirely too careless about their gardens, their whole minds being placed upon their field crops, etc. The women would in most cases be competent and gladly willing to take charge of a large portion of the labor necessary to the proper cul tivation of the garden, if the men would prepare the ground to their hands. In deed, it is a fact that those who pursue the cultivation of the soil as their busi ness, rarely enjoy garden product in per fection, just because they appear to in sist upon the error that they don’t pay. Now is the time to think about how the garden can be enlarged and the number and quantity of the crops increased. The stuff can also be got ready for the addi tional fence, and the fence itself ere -ted as soon as the weather will permit. The little hot beds in which to raise your tomato, cabbage plants and egg plants, should now be repaired and got ready for sowing the seed as soon as the time arrives. One thing must be remem bered that there should be no sparing of the underlying stratum of horse manure in preparing the beds.— Germantown Telegraph. The best fertilizer to use in setting fruit trees of all kinds is partially or thoroughly decomposed chip dirt. We made use of the material for the first time some twenty years ago in planting an apple orchard, and it was a wonder to those not in the secret what caused the trees to make such a fine growth the first season, and afterwards, too, for that matter. This experiment was so satis factory that when we set our new or chard we made a liberal use of tins material, with the same satisfactory re sult. These trials hove proved to our satisfaction that chip dirt is the very best material to mix in the soil as you plant the tree that can be possibly be used, for the reason that it holds moisture, and is full of the elements of plant food; therefore, it promotes a most luxuriant, natural and healthy growth. Repeated trials have satisfied me that a tree is not only more sure to live, but will make double the growth the first year (especially if a dry season) if some two bushels of chip dirt are properly used in its setting, than it would without it. A single trial will convince the most skeptical that the best possible use that can be made of this valuable material is to apply it to the soil in planting trees in order to push forward the tree during the first precarious stages of its growth. —Correspondent New England Home stead. The laud intended for tobacco beds should be well cleared of rubbish and thoroughly burned over, to destroy w T eeds and insects that may be dorm ant in it. The soil should be rich and friable, and have a southern exposure to secure the advantage of the direct rays of the sun in stimulating germination of seed and growth of plant. Thorough pulveriza tion of the ground is of prime importance —a point that does not seem to be fully appreciated by some planters. The more finely the earth is comminuted the bet ter it will be, for on this largely depends the germination of seed. In regard to the quantity of seed to a given piece of ground there is a difference of opinion, but provided the seed is good, the prac tice of some of the most experienced planters is to sow not more than a table spoonful to 100 square yards. The size of tobacco seeds is almost infinitesimal, and in order to secure an even distribu tion, the seed are usually mixed with fine sand and ashes, then sown and cross sown over the bed, and the ground well packed with a board or the back of a hoe. In any case the soil should be left smooth and solid. A Monkey Pulls a Tooth. [From the Galt (Ont.) Reformer,] We invite the attention of Mr. Darwin to the following very singular anecdote regarding the monkey: “ Dot,” belong ing to James Wardlaw of this town, as so peculiar an illustration of the inge nuity of the monkey has rarely if ever been recorded. The monkey was brought to Galt from Decan, India, in the fall of 1878 by Mr. Wardlaw, who had been re siding in Hyderabad for several years. It fairly eclipsed itself on Sunday before last. The little creature had been suffer ing from toothache for several days and evidently suffered severely. On Sunday the pain was more than ordinarily se vere, and the monkey, like its human type, resolved at last to undergo a dent al operation. But the dentist, strange to say, was itself. “ Dot,” found a string, fastened it around the aching tooth, seized the end of the string with its fore feet, drew up one of its hind legs between his fore feet, and gave a sudden shove w T hich jerked the tooth out and sent it flying half way across the room. This having been accomplished, the monkey was at ease and resumed its natural cheerfulness and amiability. Cheap Enough. A rather amusing incident is told as having occurred recently at a church in Connecticut, not many miles from Fair field. The clergyman would appear, de sired to call the attention of his congre gation to the fact that it being the last Sunday in the month he would adminis ter the rite of baptism to children. Previous to his having entered the pulpit he had received from one of the elders, who, by the way, was quite deaf, a no tice to the effect that as the children would be present that afternoon, and he had the new Sunday-school books ready for distribution, he would have them there to sell to all who desired them. After the sermon the clergyman began the notice of the baptismal service, thus: “All of those having children and desir ing to have them baptized will bring them this afternoon. ” At this point the deaf elder, hearing the mention of chil dren, supposed it was something in refer ence to his books, and, rising, said: “And all of those having none, and de siring them, will be supplied by me for the sum of 25 cents.” THE TELEGRAPH AND TELEPHONE. BY C. P. CKANCH. Fleeter than time, acroEH the continent. Through imnunned ocean deaths, from beach to beach. Around the rolling globe Thoughts’ couriers reach. The new-tuned earth, like sonic vast instrument, Tingles fiom zone to zone; for Art has lent New nerves, new pulse, new motion—all to each And each to all in swift electric speech Bound by a force unwearied and unspent. Now lone Katahdin talks with Cauca-us, The Arctic ice-iields with the sultry South; The sun-bathed palm thrills to the pine-tree’s call. We for all realms were made, and they for us. For all there is a Foul, an car, a mouth; And Time and Space are nought. The Mind is all. — Atlantic. FUNNYGRAPHS. Where there’s a will there’s a wont. — Puck. A grate humbug—turnip disguised as horse radish. A tramp called his shoes * ‘ corpora tions,” because they had no soles. Voters should remember that the big gist poll knocks the most persimmons.— Yonkers Statesman. A familiar instance of color-blindnes is that ot a man taking a brown silk um brella and leaving a green gingham in its place. A familiar instance of color-blindness is that of a man taking a brown silk um brella and leaving a green gingham in its place. It is said that when Gen, Sherman goes to a ball he kisses all the misses and never misses a kiss. Or words to that effect. The man with the shabby overcoat is the first to complain of the heat of the northward soaring sun.— Boston Tran script. “What on earth takes you off to the stable so early every morning lately ? ” asked a woman of her husband. ‘ * Curry hossity.” You can always tell a clerk in a dry goods store from the millionaire pro prietor, by the good clothes the clerk wears.— Steubenville Herald. When the big elephants heard that a baby elephant had been bom unto Phil delphia, they all went off on a big trunk, —Commercial Advertiser. Trying to do business without ad vertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You may know what you are do ing, but nobody else does. We suggest that everybody drop the discussiou of the Gem puzzle and try and find out why base viol players are always fat.— Bridgeport Sentinel. “Don’t be afraid,” said a snob to a German laborer; “sit down and make yourself my equal.” “Iwouldhaffto plow my prams out,” was the reply of the Teuton. “Sophomore” —The gentleman you refer to—George Washington—may have been a great man, but we fail to find any race-horse named after him, which is the test of popular esteem out west. The expression of a boys face at the end of a straw that lacks two inches of reaching the cider in the barrel is sup posed to be the model that the artist selected in the delineation of Adam leaving Paradise.— Cincinnati Saturday Night. “So you call it a charity ball, do you?” said the old gentleman, nodding his head towards a lady whose corsage was particularly brief. “ Well, it re quires a good deal of charity to excuse their style of dressing.”— New York World. A Boston man went into a millinery store in Atlanta and asked for a night shirt, and when he got back to his hotel one eye was closed, two of his teeth gone, and his hair looked like the stuff ing of an old chair. — Detroit Free Press. A French physician has published a pamphlet showing the terrible “ effects of smoking on the heart.” But we have known more terrible effects to be pro duced on the heart m five minutes by a little maiden in a calico dress than by twenty years of steady and uutiring devo tion to the weed.— Commercial Ad vertiser. Astronomers say that the planet Nep tune is so far from the earth that if Adam and Eve had from the first day of their existence started on a railroad train and traveled steadily, day and night, at the rate of thirty miles an hour, toward Neptune, they would by this time have traversed only a little more than half the distance to the vaporous orb. The hu man race is. therefore, to be congratu lated upon the fact that Adam and Eve did not undertake any such foolish trip. —Rome Sentinel. A somewhat dignified resident of Vir ginia City entered a barber-shop, which was full of men, and the boas barber greeted him with; “Hullo, Charley.” “ I always like to come in here,” said the dignified res dent, blandly; “ there’s only one person in the city who calls me ‘ Charley ’ besides yourself, and i hat’s my wife. If you’d only call me * dear Charley,’ now, it would make me feel even more at home. I don’t happen to know your first name, my friend, but it’s real kind of you to call me by mine.” The barber said no mere. The inscrutable beings known as “ boys,’’says the Hour, are proverbially more quick-witted than men in getting out of a scrape. A lad was being cate chized by his pastor, and had the ques tion put to him as to the number of things necessary in the rite of baptism. He replied, “Three.” “Stupid boy!” exclaims the holy man, “everybody knows that there arc only two—the Prayer Book and the water. What do you mean by three?” The boy’s prompt answer came in the form of the question; “And how about the baby?” A drama in Real Life: Scene, Smok ing room of the Rally Club. Time, midnight. Dramatis Personae: Brown and Robinson. Brown (a happy bach elor): “Wai-taw! Another of those six penny cigars, and just one more—as before, you know. * * Yes, Robin sou, as I was saying, a truly shocking state of affairs that over in Russia. Terrible fellows, those Nihilists. The poor czar, why, it’s bad enough to be shot at in the street, but, by Jove, you know, things are coming to a pretty pass when one is blown up in one’s own house!” Robinson (a much married man): “Ah, my dear fellow (looks a his watch; sighs; rises and prepares to depart home). The Czar of Ru ssia is not the only man who is blown up in his own houser (Sighs again, exit. Curtain.) — Judy.