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KuT Tw loUnrs to one year, mta nably in apffiree, Two Ioilars nnd riftjr Cents if pajmeatbe deferred three OiontLi. AH papers going out of the countj v be paid for in advance. - , . JtQ"" Single copiea, Fire Cents etch. Advertising Itwtes. FOB ONE WEKE. - One inch.....$ 75 Fourth column. $4 00 Two inches.... 1 2rjTliird column.. 6 00 Three inches... 1 75lllalf column... 7 00 Four inches.... 2 25 f of column.. . 9 00 Five iachev 2 75, Whole column.. 11 00 TOE TWO WEEKS. One inch. .,.,.$1 25;Fourth column. $5 60 Two inches.... 2 OOjThird column.. 6 25 Three inches... 2 75illalf colanin. . . 9 50 Four inches.... 3 &0?4' of colanin.. 11 50 Five inches.... 6 7ojYhole column. 16 00 r0 TKBKK M'F.V.KS. One Inch ?1 75 Fourth column. $8 25 Two inches 3 00, Third column. . 9 00 Three inches... 3 75illalf column. ..10 50 Four inches. ... 4 75?. of column. ..13 50 Five inches.... 5 75jYhole column, 18 00 FOR ORE MOSTTH. One inch $2 OO.Fourth column. $7 00 Tw lichee..,. 3 50,Third column.. 9 50 Three inches.. 4 KO.lIalf column.. .12 00 Four inches.... 6 50. of column. ..15 00 Five inches.... 6 25lVhole column.. 20 00 One inch 3 60 Fomthcol.imn.Sll 00 FOE TWO MONTHS. Two inches.... 5 OojThird column. 14 00 Three inches... C 60, Half column.. 18 60 Four inches.... 8 OO;? of column.. 25 00 Five inches.... 9 60, Whole column. 30 00 FOU TIIHKK llOXTHS. One inch S4 oO.Fourtlicolunm.f 15 00 Vwx inches 7 Of) Third column. 20 00 Three inches... 9 00 Half column.. 25 00 Four inches.... 11 00' V. of column.. 30 00 Five inches.... 13 00, Whole column. 35.00 One inch .$$ 00 Fourth column.$24 00 Two inches.... 10 00 Third column, 30 00 Three inches.. . M 00 Half column.. 30 00 Four inches... 18 00 of column.. 48 Of) Five inches. ...2 00 Whole column. 60 00 FOR SIX MONTH A. FOB OKK VKAR. One inch $10 00 Fourth column.$35 00 Two inches... 17 OOlThir column. 47 00 Tli re inches.. 22 (X), Ha If column. . CO 00 Four inches .. 27 00, ? of column.. 80 00 Five inches.. . 32 OOjWhole column.100 00 Advertisements inserted atOne Dol lar per S(unre of Ten Liues or less for the first insertion ; Fifty Cents for each contin uance. girLocal nd Special Notices, Twenty Cents ier line. f'2? Obituaries and calls on candidates Filly Cents per pquare. . . l-jj- The privilege of yearlj advertisers isslrictly limited to their own immediate andrtp'ular buinens; and Uie business of an dvertibin firm is not considered as in e luding that or the individual members. X deviation from these terms under amy circumstance. Adverlisemts not marked with the number of insertion when handed in, will Le continued until ordered out, and pay ment exacted. .. ." j3Xo advertisements inserted gratui ouslj , . ji-gr Advettisemenfs of nn abusive na ture will ot be inserted at any price. ttif Announcing candidates Connty, Five Dollars Congressional, Senatorial, or Judicial, Ten Dollars to be paid in ad vance. Cburcli Directory. riesbytorisn, "Fsyettcville no regular Berviccs; Sunday school at 8 a m. Mctl'olist services every Sabbath at 10:30 and at night; Kev G V Jackson, pastor; tJunday school at 3 o'clock. Cumberland IYesbvlerian services ev ery Sabbath' 10:30 and at nij:ht; Uev W G Ti'mpleton,pastor;aundiy t-chool 8 o'clock. Union Church, i'leaKiint Fitting service a 1st Sabbath each month at 11 and night by the Methodists, Kov V BLowej, preacher in charge 2nd and 41 h Sabbath each month at 11 by the Associate Informed Presbyteri ans, Ucv J 1J Muse, pastor. Mtthodist Sun day school at A RFresbvrian, New Hope services 1st and 3rd Sabbaths !a 11; Bethel, 2nd and 4th Sabbaths at 11 Rev A S Sloan, pastor. MediodUl, Mulberry services 3rd Sun day in each month at 11 o'clock and every Sunday night; Rev VJ Collier, pastor; Sun dar School at 'J. liaptiiit.ijulberry services lRt Sabbath in each month at 11 Rev Wm Huff. astor. Cumber'.and rrcsbyteiinii, Mulberry icrvices it Sabbath in each month at 11 and night; Rev Jas Campbell, pastor. United Frcbbytcrian, Lincoln services every Sabbath at 11:15 a m; Rev David hlrau pastor; Sundiiy school at 10. Methodist, Shady Grove, (Shclton's crceU) sol vice 1st Sabbath in ea;h month at 11 o'clock; Rev J. Fails, preacher inch Liberty Grove services 2nd Sabbath at 11 a m; Rev W A Gill, pn-acler in charge. Cumberland Presbyterian, Oak Grove, near Flyntvillc) services 4'.h Sabbath in each month at 11 o'clock; Rev A W Suth erlend. supply. . Methodist, Oak 1111 services 4th Sab liith each month at 10 o'clock. Methodist services 2nd Sabbath at 10 A t; Rev W Lowery, P C. rumberland Presbyterian, Oak Hill, Rev J B Tigert,44istor. Frospeet, Wells' bill, Satmdny bufore 2d Sunday, etch month, Re? B T King, pnstor. Uester'a Creek, Saturday beloie 4th Sun day, each mouth, Rev B T King, pastor. Mothodisi, Flyntviile services 4.h Sub Vath at 10:30 a.m; Mt. lIermon, Flmtville circuit, seiviccs 1st Sabbath at 10:30 a m ; Macedonia, Fliutvillo circuit, services 3rd fciabbalh at 10:30 a m Rev W 11 Anthony, preacher in charge. Missionary Baptist, 1 orris Creek, (Buck eye) services 4lh Saturday and Sunday in ach month; Rev G W Dolby, pastor. Union, 1st Sunday; Providence, 2nd; Lib erty Giove, 3rd; Oak URL 4th; Rev WT Gill, preacher in charge. Shiloh.Methodist, near Millville preach ing on 2nd Sunday in each month at 3 r. M.,and ou Saturday at 11 a. mm blore the 2nd and ilh Sunday, Rev S M Cherry, pastor Alail Directory. Tayctteville lost-Ofllco. Railroad leaves every day except Sun day at 8:45 a.m.; arrive at 5:40 r.u. Supplies the following offices: Kelso, Lincoln, flynt villc, Oregon, George's Store, Klora, Hunt's Station, Saletn, Winchester and Decherd. Shclbyville stage arrives Monday, Wed nesday and Friday at 11 A. M.; leaves same days at 2 v. M. Supplies Mulberry, Lynch burg, Booneville, County Line, Shtlbyvillo. lluntsville Ftage leaves Monday and Thursday at 8 a. u.; arrives Tuesday and Friday at 5 r. m. Supplies Goshen, iiazlo Green, Meridianville and Huntsvillc. Shclbyville hack leaves Mondays and Thursdays at 8 A. M.; arrives Tuesday and Friday at R P. U. Supplies Nonis Creek, Chestnut Ridge.lla thorno and Shclbyville. Pulaski lors- arrives every Saturday at 11:30a j L ares same dy a. 12:.0. Supplies Cyruston, Millville, Fisgah, Bradshaw and tFulaski. Blanche horse leaves every Tuesday and Friday at t a. m.; arrives Wednesday and Haturday at 3 u. Supplies Camargo, Mo lino, Cold Water, Blanche. Boon lliil horse arrives every Satur day at 12 , h avciisaiue day at 1 r m. iVtcrt-burg horse ieaves Saturday at 3 A m; arrive at 5 r M sauio day. Supplies Benfiotv Station and Petersburg. Money Orders can be o'da n d at this of fice upon post offices in all parts ef the U liited States. A list of Money Order offices may be seen tm application. lUtes of com mission for Money Oidcrs are as follows: Kot exceeding 13 10 cents Over 15 and not exceeding 130.... 15 do do 30 do do 40.... 20 do do 40 do do 50 25 do . , W. B. DOUTUAT. I. M. CountyOffloers. X. V. Carter, County Judge. A. S. Fulton; Cerk Chancery CourL W.C. Vorgnn, do Circuit do V. 0. Boyce, do C-uuty . do . B. T. Uulland, Kheriff. O. W.Couiita, W. A. Millard, W. A. Cun iimglmin. Deputy-SherilT. - m' Henry Her.deraon, Trustee. B. B. Th inpi'ii, Register. : J. II. C. Durt", C.unty-Surveyor. , ' T. d. Rive. Sup't of Public Schaola.. .1. B. Morjran, Coroner. JJ O. Wallace, Ranger. O. WALLACE, Established December FUNERAL THIEVES. Robbers Who Ply Their Trade cn ; the Verge of the Grave-A Dead Man That Helped to .Eob His Friends. ' A man who depends for his living on what he can steal, is not, of course, to be expected, to exhibit any very violent rever ence lor anybody or anything, living or dca'd. , JStill one would fancy that the pickpocket and sneak-thief would halt in ; -their nefarious calling a little this side of the grave. If the most prom inent undertaker in Xew York is goou autiionty, nowever, wc;tectivc Paley. "The fact of his may neneve mat me nguwin gered brotherhood are ne'ver hap pier than at a funeral. "In fact," said the undertaker alluded to, to the Dispatch re porter last week, "it's one of the biggest roasts they have, and the Lord only knows how far it will go yet. Last week they got a ring olf thetfingcr of a customer of mine." "Without liis knowing it?" "To be sure. Wasn't he dead and in his coffin?" "Do you mean to say that they stole a ring from the linger of a corpse?" . 1 W " tl i.Al - a"'l "1 do. And what is more, I was perfectly contented that they did not steal the silver plates olf of the coffin, too. My dear sir, if you ever die, and if 3ou have enough respect for yourself to Want to be buried with any jew elry on, you had better die and be buried out of Kew York. The funeral thieves have gone so far hero that the undertakers thank them for not stealing the corpse from them. StilTs are not bringing much in the dissecting- rooms now, or I believe we wow Id have to plant empty coffins. Why, . three weeks ago I was called upon to bury a young Frenchman from a hotel. He had committed suicide in a fit of despondency. I had him dressed up in a splendid white satin-lmcd dress-suit I found a mong his effects, and after laying him out, left a man in charge of the body and went about my business.- Next morning, when I arrived at the hotel, I found my corpse in the coffin stark naked. My watchman had left the room for a few minutes, and in that time the thieves had made a raid on it, and stripped even the dead man. Only think. The . dress suit has been sold, of course. Now, then, just imagine some one dancing at a swell ball in those 6amc garments that have clung about the clammy anato my of a corpse." ' The profession of the funeral thief, the Dispatch representative learned, has long been a distinct branch of thieving. It took its rise out of the custom prevalent twenty years ago of giving pub lic funerals. In those days the end of all earthly ambition was a big funeral, and when a man died his relatives advertised his demise, and kept open house for all who chose to call and view the corpse. When the. burial day came they provided vehicles to carry everybody to the cem etery who wanted to go. Scores of strangers used to attend these funerals, very much after the same fashion as they would have gone to a circus, enjoying a free ride and gossiping scandal, and the funeral thief found a fertile field of gain among them. The business soon developed into a real line art. lne thieves got to watching the papers for funerals, and their presence at a burying became as regular a fact as the presence of the corpse it self They formed an organized band, composed of men and wo- men, wno matie a regular ousi ncss of frequenting funerals and heir lawless skill on mourners, lliey diu little else, confining their labors to this sjx?- cial held, fccarccly a funeral escaped them, whether it took place from a down-town tene ment or Fifth avenue mansion. At first they limited their dep redations to the pockets of their victims. ,. Every funeral used to be followed by long, strings of advertisements in the 'papers of fering if wards, and no questions asked;. for the return of stolen articles. Little, 'by little the scope of the funeral thief 's op erations extended. lie-took to stealing articles from the houses and nan ways, uniu now scarcely fill vi any thing ixrtablc is safe from him. There have been instances known vhcrc the room in ,-which a corpse lay oii:vicw; Ayas actu - ally stripped of '.every article worth carrying oil by these dep- rcdators. At . tho fiuicral of Gen. Dix, borne months ago, ten cases of theft were reported. Tho boldness of the thieves is incredible. ,Thcy operate in the mid&t of a crowded assemblage "let as coolly ns if they were at work at the most legitimate 'of tasks. cry thing-, in short, worth stealing-, vanishes before, ;them. At tliei funeral of a well-lpiowrt public official,4- some time itgo, a large silver vase which had been presented to the dead man 6tood ill . a m a . on a taoie at tnc lieaa 01 the col- mi.! vlt' was; as ' big as a errial sonb tureeii ; jet out of this rpom crowded, with people and watch- cu oy nan a tipzeai servants mi: enmurous ornament was carnea unobserved; ; r "Everything 'facilitates the fu neral thief 'a work." snid ex-De- - - - being. a stranger is not' noticed, as there are always strangers, acquaintances; of the dead folks, whom no one else in the family knew, and -who turn up to assist at the burying.; lie; is. invariably a man of good address, and, hav ing informed, himself of some of the dead person's characteristics, is able to talk glibly of the "dear departedjpoor soul. . The thieves generally hunt in couples," man and woman, though, of course, without permitting their connec tion to be known, lou know what chattering magpies women at funeral' are. -So you can irii aginthow d quick-witted female thief 'can0 amuse v arid' -interest while she is robbincr them. 'Botl male nnd female funer al thieves are provided with am ple" room for stowing anything away that they may steal. Their coats and skirts arc perfect nets of deep, vast pockets in whicli a baby, could be put out of sight. 1 ; remember once that a very costly silver-mounted family Bi ble was lost lrcm a house ol mourning. We found it, along wiin a r renen ciock ana two an tique Dresden vases, in the skirts of Maggie. Poor, a well-known thief. , The bible alone fifteen pounds. ; ' weighed "The most daring theft of this kind that I ever saw perpetrated was performed by Jerry bhank lin, a once famous shoplifter and sneak-thief, who died a year or 60 ago ot consumption on Ulacfc wcll's Island. It was at the fu neral of an old West India mer chant, on Lexington avenue: I was sent there li-om the station- house, which I was at that time attached, to keep a sharp look out, as. a., large attendance of wealthy people was expected. "Among the guests I soon no ticed a little old man, dressed in black, and;, wearing green gog glcs..llc;" Sccined " to know, eve rybody, ' and , to be on the best terms with all. r He' went tod dling about, talking, to one and another,' and occasionally taking a glass of wine at the sideboard, making himself as much nt home as if the house belonged to him. A servant said hi reply to my query, "He's ah old friend of master's, sir. Knowcd ; him in the West Hinges, f That" there is his wife, sir.'.. J . : "The woman ho. pointed out was an elderly, hard-featured fe male in deep black, who was con versing with a' number' of old women in a corner."--A t the first1 glance I felt mr suspicions a roused. I would have watched thertld man all daj'. and never have: doubted him; but there' was something alxmt i the' . woman which 4 excited my- mistrust at once. :':u v ' : 1 "The old man spoke to her several times, but only for a mo ment ' 1 1 watched them . closely, but could note no suspicious movement on the part of either. At last a gentleman wished to see what time it was, and found his watch gone. . "I arrested the old man on the spot. He pretended to be amaz ed and highly indignant, and many of the guests sided with him. In order to silence them I searched him and did not find a single stolen article. A search of his pretended wife resulted in a similar . disappointment and I had to release both. " You can imagine the position I was in, with the guests glower ing at me and regarding me its a blundering fraud, and the little1 old man blackguarding me for outraging his feelingsl To make matters worse several others now discovered that they had been robbcd,: and a general outcry" a rose. ' ' . ; . ," It's a shame said my little old friend, 'we're left at the mer- ;cy ol rohhers y . a blundering himself a de- booby who calls tectivc, -end doesn't know the I difference between a thief and jan honest man. -I, for one, will seek; 'safety in retiring. Come along, my dear. He and his wife went out. As the woman 'passed the coffin I saw her hand rest within it for .it it i i a moment, wiin ner uiacK snawi trailing over it It was only for I a moment but it was enough fori I5ilii :!85(t7: -'::tyFAYramLE,;; TIlESSI: THURSDAY, JULY 17, M VOL XXVI NO. 21. all the ends thou aim'st at le me. I jumped for the door. lhe halt-way was emptr except for "my two people. As they clapped eyes on me both bounc ed for the front door. But I was too quick for them. I got him by the throat, and, though she fell on me like a tigress to aid him, I held my own. When the fight was over and both were se cured, my little old man had be come, by the loss of spectacles and wig, a lusty young thief with close-cropped hair, whom I rec ognized at once as Jerry Slank, as we called him. His woman had all the plunder about her. When the search had commenc ed she had quietly dropped it in to the coffin done up in a hand kerchiefwhich she had found time to wrap it in unobserved. So the corpse was made to help rob its friends. "The growing rage for bric-a- has m the last year or two made every high-toned New York parlor a sort of museum of valuable pottery. These the funeral thieves never leave be hind. They are light and small enough to be carried easily, while they are almost as valuable as jewelry, and quite as easy to sell. In fact, however, there is nothing stealable that he won't freeze to.. . All is fish that comes 6 his net from a diamond ear-j ring to a majolica : match box."j The funeral thief has grown to be so dangerous a menace to the funeral of to-day that no cere mony of that sort which is hke- iy to attract any numoer 01 peo - pie now comes off without being under the surveillance 01 one or more detectives. "Only a couple of days ago," said Undertaker O'Donovan, "I got $G0 for a funeral on the day it came on. I went into a bar room to get a drink, and found my pockets empty, borne one had gone through me, and not only got the money I had just received,but my watch and chain and some 50 besides. I call that ingratitude, now, seeing as any one to rob if it wasn't for us." . For 3'ou and the corpse, axu mean," remarked the reporter. "That s where you make a common mistake. People don't go to a funeral to see the corpse. They go to admire the undcrta- kin '6 A Strange Story. A curious story is going the round of the French papers. Four years ago a tailor married he daughter of an artillery Colonel, and lived happily with her lor a twelvemonth, at the end of which period he went for a few days to Belgium on busi ness. On his return the wife was nowhere to be found; but a month later the tailor and his liends recognized her (as they imagined) in the corpse of a young woman wno naa ucen picked up at Auteuil, . unable any longer to continue in Paris, the tailor went to New York, where two years afterward, he married again. In the month ol January the new couple came o Pans, and rented an apart ment in the Avenue Jfnedland. Last Wednesday, as the tailor was walking the Champs Jidy- sees, he saw a lady who looked marvelously like his first wife driving in a handsome equipage, and, hiring a cab, he followed her to a hotel in the Avenue D'Eylau. There an explanation took place. It was. indeed the first wife, who declared that 6he had been kidnapped and kept in ignoble seclusion for three months by a man whose name she had never been able to ascertain. When free, 6hc had learned to her sorrow that her husband had gone to Amer ica, and not daring to return to her relatives, she had entered a d r e s s-maker's establishment, and so on. Inquiries are now being set on foot in order to dis cover, if possible, who the kid napper was. A western bound emigrant train was recently delayed two hours and a half near Clark 8 .Station, Nevada, by an army of crickets that had taken posses sion of three miles of the rail road. The driving wheels of the engine, on striking the in sects, would whirl around without going forward an inch. The train men were finally com pelled to take brooms and sweep the insects from the rails. Mrs. C. D. Sweet of North Bennington, 20 years old, has obtained a divorce from her husband, aged 70, after three years of unhappy married life. Oh, but this English is a pecu liar language. We tise -dusters to catch the dust, and dusters to brush the dust away. thy Country's, thy God's, and ONLY GOING TO THE GATE. Like a bell of blossom ringing:, Clear and childish, shrill and sweet, Floating to the porch's shadow, With the fainter fall of feet, Comes the answer softly backward, Bidding tender watcher wait, While the baby-qneen outruns her, "Only going to the gate. Through the moonlight, warm and scent ed, Love to beanty breathes a sigh, Always to depart reluctant, Loth to speak the words, good-by; Then the same low echo answers, Waiting love of older date, And the maiden whispers softly, "Only going to the gate." Oh, these gates along oar pathway, ' What they bar outside and inl With the vague outlook beyond them, . Over waves we have not been. How they stand before, behind nst Toll-gates soipe, with price to pay; Spring-gates some, that shut forever; Cloud-gates some, that melt away. So we pass them going upward . On our journey one by one, To the distant shining wicket ; ' Where each traveler goes alone Where the friends who journey with ns Strangely falter, stop and wait; Father, Mother, child or lover, "Only going the gate." -" ' ' 1 11 ' v GRIEF, The Way a Man Was Aftected - V : When His Wife Died. Little Bock Gazette. Several days ago a man came ;into the office, and remarked: . "I ranter get' a obituary no tice printed in your paper, ex- hibitmg a sheet of manuscript. "It's a notice of my wife. She was the best woman in the world." Here he broke down, and it was some time before he could continue. - "She did every thing to make my life: happy. She plowed when I fished and hoed when I hunted." Here he broke down again, and when he again lifted his grief-stricken face, furrows were on his brow by the shovel-plow of dispair. : "Will you print it?" he final ly said. ' , "Yes." '., -; ' ' "May a rich harvest of heav en?s blessings fall upon you." . For several xlays the notice was crowded out, and last night the man again came to the of fice, and said: i "Say, pardner, how about that thing?" -. "It will go into-morrow mora ing." "You needn't put it in." "Why?" "Because, at the funeral I met the nailinest woman I ever saw and fell in love with her." "And you are going to mar ry her?" "Done married, pardner; so I reckon you'd better leave that other thing out. Nancy was a good sort of a woman in her way, out sue ain t notmn to compare with Cindy. Guess you'd better let Nancy's pnfF slide." Such is life after death. . . Noble Words. Gen. Joe Hooker, in his ad dress at the Dayton Soldiers' Uoraci on Decoration Day said: "After my antagonists surrenders I want to take him by the hand and I want to do all I can for him, and you nev er learned any different feeling from me. But you did from some' outsiders, probably some member of Congress. I will tell you an .anecdote. - In the w a with France between France and England, in Napo leon's time a cavalry officer sallied out from his troop, hav ing discovered an English offi cer separated from his com mand, to give him a single com bat. But after riding rapidly up to him, he 6a w he had lost an arm in the battle, and he said: 'It is true your country and my country arc at war, but the unfortunate belong to no country.' After an enemy sur render he is no enemy of mine, and particularly when he has honored every field that he has fought upon when he is wor thy to be your and my antago nist. I will respect that man as long as I live, and if he wants anything I will open my pock et to him iust as I would one of you it What would have been 6aid ol the South by the Northern press if such a disgraceful riot had occurred here as at Chica go the other day, when a Sunday-school picnic was attacked by roughs? A small riot here, with a negro or two killed, con vulses tho whole north, and they begin to cry out that the results of the war are all lost. But a peaceful Sunday-school can be mobbed, people killed by the dozen and it is scarcely noticed. Truth's." . The State Debt Settlement. . Memphis Appeal. In August next the people of Tennessee will be called upon to express their opinion in regard to the proposed settlement of the State, debt. . The polls will be regularly opened in every coun ty in the State, and the people are requested to come forward and deposit their votes either for the ratification or rejection , of the terms submitted by the last Legislature and accepted by the creditors of the State. There has been but little discussion of this question, because the opin ion obtained that the people had generally acquiesced in a settle ment on the basis of fifty and four. But it 6eems the repudia-j tors per $e have resolved to make a fight in opposition to the lib eral terms offered. In another column we publish a letter from Mai. W. J. Sykes, which dis cusses this subject in a spirit of moderation and conciliation wmen snouid animate every vo- er in expressing his opinion at the ballotbox. When such low tax men as Gov. A. S. Marks and Hon, A. S. Colyar, and such extreme State-credit men as Maj. Sykes unite in support of the ratification of a settlement on the basis proposed, it was hoped that there would be no contest, and that the people would umte and cast a solid vote for the acceptance of terms so liberal. , .Notwithstanding the factious : opposition which has been threatened and which has developed itself in a small way, we believe the people will cast 1 , A an overwhelming maionty lor the proposition which finally set ties the State debt and forever takes it out of the politics of the State. Maj. Sykes, in his letter published; in to-day s Appeal, shows the grounds upon which State credit men, like himself, can and should support the set tlement proposed. There is great indifference in every part of the State in regard to the vote o be cast in August. It is to be hoped that a full vote will be cast, for with a small vote, how ever great the majority, the pres ent Legislature might be indis posed to act. West Tennessee will, no doubt, by a large ma- ority, vote for an acceptance cf the settlement at fifty and four, but the tear is that a small vote will be cast, and the Legislature which is to be convened by Gov. Marks might possibly regard all who failed to vote opposed to the settlement, and hesitate to enact he nccessaiy laws. Too Late. Tho following incident took place in Washington, Texas. The jury of a circuit court, be fore whom a miserable wretch had been tried, returned a ver dict of "guilty," and suggested tho "whippingpost." The court then adjourned for dinner. Im mediately after dinner the de fendant's counsel without con sulting his unfortunate client moved for a new trial and com menced reading the mottion. "Hold on 1" whispered the client, pulling at the coun sel's coat tails. "Don't read thatl" "Let me alone," muttered the lawyer, irritably, "I'll attend to you when I've read the motion." "But I don't want you to read the motion," whined the agita ted culprit. "Don't want me to read? Why not? What's the matter? I'm going to get you a new tri all" "Bnt I don't want a new trial!" exclaimed the wretch. "Don't want one? Why not?" returned the other heatedly, frowning from under his eye glasses. ; "'Cause its too late," urgrd the client. "While you were all out to dinner the Sheriff took me out and whipped the very hide of off rac;' The motion was 6ummarily withdrawn. A rich widow, lacking only two years of a half a century and dressing her hair six times a day, in Elizabethtown, Ky., fell. in love with ayouthof nine teen who had been working on her farm. Her two ' step-sons ordered him to leave the town, and threatened to use a shotgun it he should ever attempt to re turn. The widow took, the lad to town, purchased t or him a new suit of clothes and charged him to get a license.4'. The young man dfd as he was told, and when they wer6 married she carried him homo and asked her step-sons what they meant to do about it. One of the . most fashionable openings of the season is the bung hole of a beer keg. Proprietor. Mountain Preachers tucky. in Ken- The Gospel as Expounded by Bare headed Clergymen in the High lands. New York Sun. Manchester, Ky., Juno 23. In these highlands, outside of tho larger villages, primitive conditions are maintained, if not m not intensified. I do not know where . else, except here, one might go with assurance of find- ing an original denominational preacher, and it is well worth the labor of riding twenty miles over the mountain roads to find him in the midst of a protracted effort, with his harp of a thou- sand.strings properly tuned for the occasion. His coat lies on the floor. . , ,.- . . ' nis iron gray hair bristles from A tifuk custom prevails his forehead, his unbleached n many parts of Lui-ope of plant shirt is open, and thrust back J tree pon the birth of every from his throat: his sleeves arc c?lld eaves wear and tear of rolled back to the elbows, and 6uPPPrs. the perspiration, drops unheed- There is an old lady, one hun ed from his sharprpointed nose, dred and seven years old; in It is apparent why he carries so Boston, who never uses epecta little flesh. For nearly an hour cles, and whose sight is as good he has been thundering at his as it ever was. She was born audience. He is upon a 6ub- blind. ject that never fails to call into play his liveliest fancy and most imperative and impressive ut- terances. For an hour he has - m m been grouping his way through infernal caverns, and who can hulp milling as he strikes upOn the subject of devils "Talkin of devils, my beloved brcther- mg the monstus kre-c-ters, I say the monstus kre-e-tersl The smallest devil I ever read of was eighteen feet hih and vu" eleven feet across the breast I say across the bre-e-ast." And when, with a severe and threat- ening aspect, he inquired into our cause of laughter, we ex pressed our gratification a t learning the probably magnifi cent physical proportions of Mary Magdalene, he told us "thar war giants and giantesses them times." Another, who.some years ago, in Adair County, honestly per formed his duty, and doubtless accomplished good, by sincere- y reflecting all the light he was capable of receiving, wasaccus omed occasionally to take the contest between Goliath and David for his text, and express himself as follows, pointing to ns comparisons in the audience. 'Thar was Golgotha (Goliath); le was a great monstah, liken onto big Fred. Glider over tiou recently at Belfast, with her thar, as jt war. Then thar was clothes dripping like a water David, a small splinter in strip- spout. On being questioned as lin, liken unto little John Con- to her condition, she said she un over, John Darling's son-in-law. derstood the lady of the house over thar, as it war, and great was tne commotion. JJavid took a small rock, pebble, piece ot gravel, or stone, as it war, and put it in a sling, flung it at Golgotha, struck him in the forehead as it war, and killed as it war, and killed him then and thar, as it war. And Gol- golha fell and struck the airth, A ... , , . so ma , mey .mqii id tins neighborhood these old white oak walls would rock and quiv- ah, as it war." Perhaps it is safe to say that with some few exceptions throughout t h c Highlands, conditions continue to develop just such religious teachers. Mr. Spurgeon Rings in a Joke, Mr. Spurgeon recently told this anecdote as he gave out an anthem: A high chtfrchman and a Scotch Presbyterian mm- ister had been at the same church. The former asked the latter it lie didrt t like the m- troifs. lie replied: "I don t n,,u" nok uu iuuuiv is. kjaiu Irnrtuf m i a r nil inrwnir O ' , I the churchman, "But did vou not enjoy the anthem?" He re- wh0 gavc recitals on a second plied: "2o, I did not enjoy it hand tambourine. It is to bo at all. "l am very sorry. said the churchman, "because it was used in the early Church; in fact, it wa3 originally sung by David." "Ah!" said the the Scotchman, "men that cx plains the Scripture. I can nn- derstand now, if David sung it at that time why Saul threw his javelin at him." This was fol lowed by a loud peal of laught er, when Mr. Spurgeon said: "Now, let us sing the anthem." A rustic bridegroom was complimented by one of his ac quaintances on the charming appearance of his bride. "She has the most lovely color I have ever seen," remarked the friend. "Yes, it ought to be good," pensively replied the groom: 4 she paid a dollar for just a lit tle bit in a saucer. We are unable to accept it as one of the "results of thu war" that the republican party must be kept in power, no matter how it blunders or oppresses the peo ple. ; . : A raining favorite An" um- Only a matter of form Tight ;ing. , . The fly is never positive. ; He always specs so. Marriage is no uneven game. t It's a- tie. . Texans arc never lynched now-a-days. They die of "artifi cial cliphtheria." ' When the collection box threatens, an audience would sooner disperse tlitn dispurse. A couple of big head lines in the New Orleans Times read: "Startling Innovation; A Mail Train Comes in, on Time." - An editor, in speaking of a new book, says "it is bound to sell." Isn't that what they bind un hu r. v When you are losing money tue mst economical thing you can do is to take in a partner, Ths is the way careful business uien do. ' TSTe know of n mpprhnnt calculates to take a vacation of sLx weeks this summer. He can o-o as weii a3 n0f n? h W'r. advprtisp . Careful housewife "flifW a 6hoe from the sono-tureenWrI o'd a thought babvV ho m - - - rt -l would turn up in the soup? But I knew it wasn't lost. I never ; lose anything!" A man : with a pair of creaky boots ; always has music in hid sole, and he generally executes a solo, just at the very moment when the rest of the congrega- j.: i .1 x. : A . eeuieu t to a quiet i tinn r "Ma, lend me a pencil, I want to draw some ladies." "Draw some ladies! Why, Johnny, this is Sunday." "Well, I'll draw them in their Sunday clothes." Preposition declined with spanks. "What," says an inquisitive young lady, "is tho most popular color for a bride?" and the El mira Gazette answers : "We may be a little particular in such matters, but we should prefer a wnite one. n Some men are endowed with tne "WS nature of cobwebs, anu 11Ke incm are continually banging around the house until cleared out by the end of a well uramccu uu,t wun an inciU3- no lemaie ar. me other end. A woman applied for a situa- wanted a wet nurse, and she had come ready for service. When a young tobacco chew er, who blasted that his father used the weed up to the day of his death, was asked if he didn't think it shortened his days re plied: "Not at all. Each one of 7-flt!f ,i, -r long, iust tiie same as if ho hadn't used tobacco." If ylV have no money to & tlie needy wretch who beg yur alms, you at least have sympathy you can give him a kmt wor an a gentle smile, If he asks you for ten cents to buy bread, smile kmlly on him and tell him you haven't a cent. but you can direct him to a good, respectable hotel where he can get good plain board and a pleasant room for $11 a week. , it U not considered proper to speak 0f piano playing. It U piano recital you mean. That reminds us that there wasahand r . rtt . uce recently, me ; artist was fmm Thlv. nn.l o wnU win. hoped they may come again, and we can assure them plenty of room to play in. Young man, devoted to and expressly manufactured forsoci- i -l i : u- t i ft P" agony . iu, L "V f "cau acnes; iiwiuuy,DyJovei sym pathizing friend, student in AVil son's dental room: "Oh, you'd better have it pulled;" then, af ter a thoughtful pause,-"or fill ed." Patient move3 away with an injured air, and the young dentist smiles after him more thoughtfully than ever. Astride a log sat Sam and an other sinner, engaged in a little game of seven-up, when a min ister approached, Mho, after a solemn contemplation of the game, laid his hand ujion Samu el's shoulder and m'u: "My friend, is that tho way to save your soul?" "Perhaps not," an swered Sam, who, having just played a card, attentively was considering the hand. "Perhaps not, but it seems alxmt tho best thing I can do to save my Jack."