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UP IN THE CLOUDS. MY friend, your fancy files too far, The world of man lies ronnd our feet, Ilcre its unceasing coniliels are, And here its varying forces meet. Fray, curb the thoughts that vaguely rise Anonettf&a real and stubborn facts Give o'er wild flights to distant skies, And do some good by human acts. Utopian dreams are pleasant things, No donbt—but dreams are poor at best We live not by imaginings, Nor thrive oa vague aud vain unrest. We must behold with eyes of sense, Our feet must tread in actual ways, And ere we gain the recompense "Tis ours to number toilsome days. Grand theories of what might be, Prodigious scheme* for changing all Heaven order here can never free Mankind from Nature's bond and thrall. What '*, howe'er or whence it came, Is'Uiut which all must recognize What might be wears a winsome name, But brings no joy to tearful eyes. So. friend, give o'er your fancy flights, Below the clouds you'll daily find Much strife 'twlxtfctrugvlins: wrongs and right!, Much good to do to aid your kind. Pray, curb the dreamy thoughts that rise Above life's real and stubborn facts Forsake void realms and vacant skies. And do some good by human acts. WRONGFULLY ACCUSED. IT has been many long days since then, yet I remember it all, just as though it had occurred jesterday. I was a carpenter, the foreman of a large establishment, and as such possessed the entire confidence of my employer, who, by the way, had been an old school mate of mine. One day he called me into his office to look at some rare coins he had just pur chased. Here," said he. placing in my hand a heavy gold piece, is one which is worth more than all the rest put together. It is a great curiosity. I paid $200 for it, and consider it cheap at that. I could easily double my money in selling it and so you see, Ilarvey, "it is a good invest ment." No doubt it is," said I, though it seems a large sum to have lie idle." I breathed an involuntary sigh as I laid the coin down on the desk, for $200 would have seemed a fortune to me just then. The severe illness of my wife and one of my children, and the death of another, made serious inroads on my purse, and it had required the utmost economy to keep myself free from debt nay, I had been obliged to withdraw from the bank the small sum which, besides my salary, was all I possessed of worldly treasures. Thinking of this, I laid the coin down with a sigh, and turned away to attend my duties. The next morning I was again sum moned into the office, but this time I met with no fiiendly greeting as usual. 44 Harvey," said my employer, abruptly, that coin we were looking at has disap peared. I have made a thorough search, but it is not to be found. It has been car ried away by some one. You alone saw or knew of it, and—" He paused and looked significantly into my face. I finished the sentence for him, the hot blood dyeing my cheek and brow as I spoke. You mean, therefore, that -I took it —I!" 44 What else can I think? The coin was here you alone saw it: I cannot recall having seen it since it was in your hands. You are in need of money you have told me that yourself. It was a great tempta tion, and I forgive you because of our old friendship, but I cannot retain you in my employ. Here is. the salary due you." 44 Very well,'* said I, with forced calm ness,44 so be it. Since you have so poor an opinion of me after years of faithful service I shall not stop to defend my self." Then I took the money he had laid upon the desk, and went out from his presence a well-nigh broken-hearted man. But for the tender love of my wife I doubt not but that I would have buried my sorrows in the grave of a suicide. Supported by that love, however, and the consciousness of my own innocence, I took fresh courage, and set resolutely to work to find a new employer. But powerful is the breath of slander turn which way I might, I ever found that the story of my dismissal for theft had preceded me, and my application for employment uniformly met with a re fusal. Time went on piece by piece of our furniture and every spare article of cloth ing found its way to the pawnbroker's, until at length even this poor resource failed us, and my children cried in vain for food. Yet I did not sit down in idle despair Icyt»ld.not afford to do so the life or death of all I loved on earth depended on my exertions—and so, turning away from home with a' heavy heart, I once more set out on the weary search for work. All in vain! Refusal after refusal met my entreaties for employment, and I was turning homeward with a listless step when, passing an immense church, I was attracted by a group of men at its base. Impelled by some strange impulse I approached and mingled with them. A workman was standing near by, look ing up at the great steeple, which towered aloft some 250 feet above them, while a gentleman, evidently an architect, was addressing him in earnest language, and at the same time pointing to the golden cross at the summit of the spire. 111 tell you," he exclaimed, as I drew near, "it must and can be done. The cross roust b» taken' down, or the first heavy gale will send it down into the street, and lives will be lost. Coward! is this the way you back out of a job after engaging to do it?" 441 didn't know the spire was so high »p there. Do it yourself if you want it done." 441 would if I were able," said the archi tect. "But go if you will, let it be. My honor is pledged to have it done at any l*ic§—and I can find a braver man than y°« to do it." w&»£ P® away with a ^»cliihg step, and the gentle- i$«Pd7^moYe™y —vJl «T-3 JoltiTAr 5 al80^hen VOU WMlt d°n e« Bir?" enter iP erha He turned eagerlyt a ll Take down that crossed •flfeir. I can a your while. a a hawked dollars. You will laave to ascend those ornamental Mocks, and 1 tell you candidly they A* &>t to, be de pended upom they must be weak and1 rotten, for they have beta there for years." I looked at the spire it was square at the base and tapered to a sharp point', while along each angle, were nailed small gilded blocks of wood. 41 44 It's a dangerous place to work," I said, and there will be even more peril in de scending than ascending. Suppose I suc ceed in moving the cross, and then—" 44 If any accident happens to you, my brave fellow, the money shall be paid to your family. I promise you that. Give me your address. "Here it is," I said, "and as. you value your soul keep your word with me. My wife and children are starving, or 1 would not attempt this work. If I die they can live on the hundred dollars for awhile until my sick wife can recover her strength." 44 I'll make it a hundred and fifty!" ex claimed the architect "and may God protect you! If I had the skill necessary to ascend that steeple I would ask no man to risk his life there. But come, and keep a steady hand and eye." I followed him into the church, then up into the spire, until we paused before a narrow window. This was the point from which I must start on the perilous feat which I had undertaken. Casting a single glance at the people in the street below- mere specks in the distance—I reached out from the window, and, grasping one of the ornamental blocks, swung myself out upon the spire. For an instant my courage faltered, but the remembrance ot my starving family came to my aid, and with a silent prayer for protection and success I placed my hand on the next block above my head and clambered up. From block to block I went, steadily and cautiously, trying each one ere I trusted my weight upon it. Two-thirds of the space had been passed, when suddenly the block tha supported me moved—gave way. O heavens! Never, though I should live to see a hundred years, shall I cease to shud der at the recollection of that terrible mo ment. Yet even in the midst of my ago ny, as I felt myself slipping backward, I did not for one second lose my presence of mind. It seemed to me that never before had my senses been so preternaturally acute as then, when a horrible death seemed inevitable. Down, down I slipped, grasping at each block as I passed it by, until at length my fearful course was arrested, and then, while my head reeled with the sud den reaction, a great shout came from the people below. 44 Come down, come down!" called the architect from the window half the sum shall be yours for the risk you have run. Don't try again. Come down." But no! more than ever now I was de termined to succeed. I was not one to give up after having undertaken a diffi cult task. Coolly, but cautiously, I commenced the ascent once more, first seeking in vain to reach across to the next row ot blocks, for I did not care to trust myself again on that whioh bad proved so treaohorouo. This I was compelled to do, however, un til the space between the angles became sufficiently small to allow me to swing across. Accomplishing my purpose at length, I went up more rapidly, carefully testing each block as I proceeded. Ere long I reached the cross, and there I paused to rest, looking down from the dizzy height with a coolness that even then astonished me. A few strokes with a light hatchet that the architect had hung at my back, and piece by piece the rotten cross fell to the ground. My work was done, and as the last frag ment disappeared 1 found a sad pleasure in the thought that should I never reach the ground alive my dear ones would have ample means to supply their wants until my wife could obtain employment. Steadily and cautiously 1 lowered my self from block to block, and at length reached the spire window amid the cheers of those assembled in the street. Inside the steeple the architect placed a roll of bank notes in my hand. You have well earned the money," he said. "It does me good to see a man with so much nerve—but—bless me! what is the matter with your hair? It was black before you made the ascent, now it is gray!" And so it was That moment of in tense agony, while slipping helplessly downward, had blanched my hair until it appeared like that of an old man. The work of years had been done in an in stant. Entering the bare, cheerless room, which was now all I called my home, I found a visitor awaiting me—my late em ployer. 44 Harvey," said he, extending his hand, 441 have done you a great wrong. It cost me a terrible pang to believe in your guilt, but circumstances were so strongly against you that I was forced to believe it. I have found the coin, Harvey it slipped under the secrtt drawer in my aesk. Can you forgive me, my dear old friend?" My heart was too full to speak I si lently pressed his baud. 441 will undo the wrong I have done. All the world shall know that I have ac cused you unjustly, not only through my words, but through my actions, too. "V0u must be my partner, Haivey. If you re fuse I shall feel that you have not for given me." I did not refuse. Indeed, I thankfully accepted the offer which my friend so generously made, knowing that no surer method could have been devised to si lence forever the tongue of slander, and free my name from the unmerited re proach which had of late rested on it. Great prosperity has attended my steps ever since that eventful day, but neither prosperity nor wealth can efface its memory from my heart, nor restore my withered locks to their own raven hue. —Inspired being: Whence, oh whence, ladies, whence, oh whence came the marvelous instinct that prompted the minute being originally contained in this fragile shell to burst the calcarious en velop that secluded it from the glories ot the outward world?" Chorus of admir ing ladies: "Whence, oh Whence, indeed, Mr. Honeycomb?" Master Tommy: "Perhaps the little beggar was afraid he'd be boiled!" THK Supreme Court of Illinois, in a re cent decision, has affirmed the principle that an express company cannot beheld for the value of a package "of money lost while in its possession as a common car rier, unless the value of the package be truly stated before the contract for car riage is entered into. —Figueras is not only tall and thin and gray-headed, but goes to bed at five o'clock and gets up at nine. Indifference 'to Danger. NOTWITHSTANDING all that has been said on the subject, we fear that it will have to be admitted .that''the people of the present generation are foolishly in different to the countless dangers that threaten human life. Indeed, we believe that if some enterprising person were to stretch a cable across the North River be tween Cortland street and Jersey City, suspend a basket ear upon it by means bf a rope, and get the frail conveyance going by steam engines at both ends of the route, more passengers would be found ready to risk their necks than could be accommodated. A good example of recklessness may be witnessed every day on the ferry-boats. When the boat reaches within three or four feet of the landing-stage, the hurried mortals outside of the chains jump and run as if pursued by wild beasts. Jump ing on and off steam railroad cars in mo tion is another habit that would be indulged in to a greaterextent than it is but for the efforts made to prevent it Yet hundreds of persons are either crip pled or killed outright every year because of it. Most men would greatly prefer to run the risk of losing their lives than to remain ten or fifteen minutes at a road, side station for another train. Women, in proportion to their strength and activity, are likewise affected by the spirit of indifference to danger. They do not, it is true, jump on moving trains, or crush outside the chains on ferry boats, but they nevertheless find numerous ways of showing their recklessness. Among them may be mentioned the treatment of the kerosene lamp. The burning of women through incautiousness in hand ling this persistent enemy of the house hold has come to be a daily occurrence. On Tuesday night last a resident of Grand street, Jersey City, was literally burned to death by the explosion of one of these lamps. She had, it appears, attempted to fil it while the wick was lighting, and, 41 as if to make the experiment more haz ardous, held the lamp almost directly over a hot stove." A drop of the oil fell on the stove, ignited, and sent up a flame which struck the oil in her hand, and in an in stant she was enveloped in flames. The poor woman, we are told, rushed into the street and hid herself under the floor of a shanty hard by. She was subsequently taken back to her apartment, where she died after four hours of the most excru ciating agony. It takes, as we all know, a good deal of writing and talking to effect the very simplest reform, so that if the people should come to fully realize what a small amount of actual progress is made by the disposition to overturn one another in their scramble through life it will only be at the expense of a vast amount of talk and a still vaster amount of risk.—N. Y. Times. A Mother Dies of Grief. AN Indianapolis gentleman, who came in from Crawfordsville last evening, gives the particulars of the death of a lady in that city Sunday night under peculiarly distressing circumstances. A few nights since the ticket office of the L., C. & S. W. R. R. was robbed of a large number of tickets. An employe saw the thieves as thev were escaping and recognized one of them as a lad by the name of O'Neil— Michael, he thought his first name was— and as soon as the robbery was discov ered lodged the information with the authorities. On Sunday night a warrant for the boy's arrest was placed in the hands of a couple of policemen, who pro ceeded without delay to the residence of his parents and made known the nature of their errand. The mother, a woman about forty years of age, and mother of six children, one of whom was a babe, whrn she heard the story, vehemently denied that her boy could have been guilty of the crime with which he was charged. So excited did she become that she finally fainted away, and on being restored to consciousness again relapsed into a swoon. On recov ering from the second nervous attack Mrs. O'Neil pleaded with the oflcers not to take her son, protesting with all a mother's power that he was. guiltless. The police at last consented to go with the boy to the man who had given the information, and "f he failed to identify him he would be brought back immedi ately. The policemen, who were deeply troubled by the scene, hurried away and aroused the man, who announced that it was the wrong boy. Inwardly rejoicing, they started back, but before they had proceeded far they were met' by Mr. O'Neil, who informed them that his wife was dead—had died from the stroke of hearing of her child's disgrace, as she supposed.—Indianapolis Journal. A Public Lesson. The circumstances attending the Thomp. son tragedy, in the town of Lake, are so familiar, on account of the intense inter est attached to the affair, that they require only brief recapitulation. The family consisted of a mother, father and four children, one of them an infant. The father, David Thompson, was boarding temporarily near his work. The mother was ill, and being taken care of by an ignorant but well-meaning professional nurse. On Thursday the family was vis ited by a kindly neighbor, who observed nothing wrong.' On Saturday two of the children were dead, a third was dying and the mother and nurse were in a state of stupor. The infant, only a few days old, was apparently uninjured. The first sus picion was that of poison, and the guilt seemed to attach to the nurse. The in justice of the accusation became apparent and a patient examination established the fact that the three children were killed by noxious gas escaping from a coal stove, the house being shut tight, and the damper in the pipe reversed. The escape of the mother and nurse is attributed solely to the forcible invasion of the house by two neighbors, and their promptitude in ap plying proper restoratives. The physi cians who conducted the post mortem ex plain the safety of the infant in this scarcely satisfactory way: "It has been noticed that infants respire foul air fre quently without being as much affected as adults." It was observed that the poi son had not killed two adults and had killed three children and if it be true that the infant respired the air with safe ty, simply because an infant can, it must be admitted, as necessity has often re- 3octorsbefore, uired that the explanations by are among the most mysterious things on earth Unhappily, this Chicago tragedy is not an isolated case. In Oakland, Pa., last December, an entire school barely es caped destruction by the same cause. The gas escaped from the stove into the room. Soon several ofthe pupils swooned K& A N I N E E N E N N E W S A E VOLUME II. WORTHINGTON, NOBLES CO., MINN., SATURDAY, MARCH 14, 1874. NUMBER 27. upon the floor, others attempted to reach the door, and fell insensible. The teach er, terrified, surmised the cause, threw open the doors and windbws, and called to a passer-by for assistance. Before he could answer, she, too, was insensible. The stranger turned the uninjured portion of the school out, carried the rest into the open air, summoned a doctor, and suc ceeded in saving every life. Five minutes more and every human beinr in the school room would have been a corpse. In New York city, a few weeks ago, a lady whose room was heated bv a gas stove went to sleep leaving it at rail pres sure, the windows and doors being closed. She was dead in the morning. On the night of the 2d of 'January five men were killed by gas while asleep on a vessel at Wilmington. On ithe 17th of January a father and son died in Boston under similar circumstances. A man named Wieland and his wife were found dead in Philadelphia 05 February 9th, from an escape of gas lato an air tight room. The murder of the three Thompson children completes the cata logue up to date. The strongest constitution, the staunch est lungs, cannot escape the insidious poison of foul air. If permitted to con tinue its assault long enough death must inevitably ensue. The attention of school-directors and teachers throughout the country, no less than that of heads of families, is earnestly directed to the fore going terrible facts. An insane determi nation in human nature attempts to make a room hot during cold weather, with a sublime unconsciousness as to the possible peril in the process, or funerals as the re sults. It is a principle whose enforce ment should be universally insisted upon that no room in which human life is en cased should so be closed as to prevent the free entrance of pure air. This pas sage-way can be maintained, if a building be decently constructed, without subject ing any one to the danger of a neuralgic draugfit.—Chicago Times. How Al. Bascom Saved the Train. We have rarely read of an instance where a noble effort to save life was op posed by greater difficulties or more re markably rewarded than in connection with a recent accident on the Troy & Greenbush Railroad. The New York and Boston express train left Troy at the usual nour, 6 o'clock in the morning. None of the passengers yet know how narrowly they escaped an awful disaster, and in how great a degree they are indebted for their lives to the presence of mind of a railroad employe. There had been a serious landslide at fish-house curve on the Troy & Greenbush Railroad. A locomotive had been acci dentally caught by the landslide, forced from the track and partly turned, so that its headlight was pointed west. The slide occurred at 6 o'clock, just at the moment the New York and Boston exproes was leaving the Troy station. The engineer of the captured locomotive knew that the down train could nut pass the ob structions. He told his fireman, Al. Bas com, to take a red lantern, go up the track and intercept the train. Bascom started on his mission in the darkness he stumbled and fell on the track the light was extinguished. The time was too short to allow him to return and get another lantern it was impossi ble in the strong wind to light a match. Covered with mud, but losing scarcely half a minute, he pushed on. The head light of the approaching train came in sight. He knew that the voice of warn ing, be it ever so loud, could not be heard above the roar of the train. He had but a few seconds in which to determine upon his course. What did he do? Something very few would have thought of doing. Taking aim as best he might, he raised his lantern and hurled it at the approaching locomotive, and then awaited the result. He could not see where bis missile landed the inter vening seconds seemed ten minutes. By what we now regard as a mysterious and beneficent interposition of Provi dence, it entered the cab window, break ing the wood-work, and coming within an inch of striking the fireman inside fairly in the face. If it had hit him he would have been seriously injured. When the shattering and shattered lantern fell at the engineer's eet he knew something had gone wrong, and whistled 44down brakes." The train slackened speed, and at length came to a full stop within a hundred feet of the wrecked locomotive, saved from destruc tion by the presence of mind of the man who had thrown the lantern. At this point, where the way is ob structed, the track is built on an embank ment close by the river, and had a collis ion occurred between the disabled loco motive and the moving train, the latter would have been thrown from the track into the river, and the horrors and loss of life, the woundings and maimings of New Hamburg would have been repeated. All honor to Al. Bascom! Let his name be in scribed on the roll of fame beside that of Doc Simmons, the heroic engineer who died at New Hamburg.—Troy Times, Land Washing. ONE of the greatest objections to our farming operations in this country is the tendency of our rich soil to wash off and rapidly deteriorate in fertility Another misfortune is the indifference with which many farmers treat this important sub ject. It is plain to any observing mind that a field of rich, fertile soil will yield double the amount of one that has been thus neglected and suffered other mal practices. I have in my mind now the case of a so-called farmer who allowed an old roadway, a quarter of a mile in length, to wash so deep'that a plow could hardly cross it. when ten minutes' work with a spade would have prevented it. And often we see large, impassable ditches form through valuable land, with no effort to stay the fearful waste. This, with fearful force, verifies the old saying, Personal Recollections of the Siamese Twins. IN one of Mark Twain's sketch books published by Routledge, in England, is the following minute, entertaining and just now especially valuable account of the habits of the Siamese twins. It was written several years ago: I do not wish to write of the personal habits of these strange creatures only, but also of certain curious details of va rious kinds concerning them which, be longing to their private life, have never crept into print. Knowing them inti mately, I feel that I am peculiarly well qualified for the task I have taken on my self. The Siamese twins are naturally ten der and affectionate in disposition, and have clung together with singular fidelity throughout a long and eventful life. Even as children they were inseparable com panions and it is noticed that they always seemed to piefer each other's so ciety to that of any other persons. They nearly always played together and so ac customed was their mother to this pecul iarity that, whenever both of them chanced to be lost, she usually hunted for one of them—satisfied that when she found that one she would find his brother somewhere in the immediate neighbor hood. And yet these creatures were igno rant and unlettered—barbarians them selves, and the offspring of barbarians, who knew not the light of philosophy and science. Wnat a withering rebuke is this to our boasted civilization, with its quarrelings, its wranglings and its sepa ration of brothers. As men the twins have not always lived in perfect accord but still there has always been a bond between them which made them unwilling to go away from each other and dwell apart. They have even occupied the same house, as a gen eral thing, and it is believed that they have never failed to even sleep together on any night since they were born. How surely do the habits of a lifetime become second nature to us. The twins always go to bed at the same. time, but Chang usually gets up an hour before his brother. By an understanding between themselves, Chang does all the indoor work and Eng runs all the errands. This is because Eng likes to go out Chang's habits are sedentary. However, Chang always goes along. Eng is a Baptist, but Chang is a Roman Catholic still, to please his brother, Chang consented to be baptized at the same time that Eng was, on condi tion that it should not count." During the war they were strong partisans, and fought gallantly all through the great struggle—Eng on the Union side and Chang on the Confederate. They took each other prisoners at Seven Oaks, but the proofs of capture were so evenly bal anced in favor ot each that a general army court had to be assembled to deter mine which one was properly the captor and which the captive. The jury was un able to agree for a long time, but the Texed question was finally decided by agreeing to consider them both prisoners ana then exchanging them. At one time Chang was convicted of disobedience of orders and sentenced to ten days in the guard house, but Eng, in spite of all ar guments, felt obliged to share his impris onment, notwithstanding he himself was entirely innocent and so, to save the blameless brother from suffering, they had to discharge both from custody—the just reward of "faithfulness. Upon one occasion the brothers fell out about something, and Chang knocked Eng down, and then tripped and fell on him, whereupon both c?inched and began to beat and gouge each other without mercy. The bystanders interfered and tried to separate them, but they could not do it, and so allowed them to fight it out. In the end both were disabled, and were carried to the hospital on one and the same shutter. Their ancient habit of going always to gether had its drawbacks when they reached man's estate, and entered upon the luxury of courting. Both fell in love with the same girl. Each tried to steal clandestine interviews with her, but at the critical moment one would always turn up. By-and-by Eng saw with dis traction that Chang had won the girl's affections, and from that day forth he had to bear with the agony of being a witness to all their dainty billing and cooing. But with a magnanimity that did him in finite credit he succumbed to his fate, and gave countenance to a state of things that badefair to sunder his generous heart strings. He sat from seven every evening until two in the morning, listening to the fond foolishness of the two lovers, and to the concussion of hundreds of squandered kisses—for the privilege of sharing only one of which he would have given his right hand. But he sat patiently and waited, and gaped, and yawned, and stretched and longed for two o'clock to come. And he took long walks with the lovers on moonlight evenings— sometimes traversing ten miles, notwith standing he was usually suffering from rheumatism. He is an inveterate smoker but he could not smoke on these occa sions, because the young lady was pain fully sensitive to the smell of tobacco. Eng cordially wanted them married and done with it but although Chang often asked the momentous question the young lady could not gather sufficient courage to answer it while Eng was by. How ever, on one occasion, after having walked some sixteen miles and sat up till nearly daylight, Eng dropped asleep from sheer exhaustion and the question was asked and answered. The lovers were married. All acquainted with (lie circumstances applauded the noble brother-in law. His unwavering faithfulness was the theme of every tongue. He had stayed by them through their long and arduous courtship and when at last they were married, he lifted his hands and said with impressive unction, 44 4,A stitch in time saves nine." A few hints in regard to remedies are in order. First, the land can be plowed so as to help the case by running the fur rows crosswise of the rills. I prefer to have the water flow in straight rills at reg ular intervals, and to prevent these from washing deeper pack corn-stalks, large green weeds, fine straight brush, etc., in the bottom, and allow the grass and weeds to grow in these ditches. Thus the water has something to wear on, and with a little care much soil can thus be saved. But the best manner to preserve the fertility of the soil is, as any intelli gent farmer knows, to seed down to grass, especially clovers, not forgetting the im portance of the proper use of manure.— Cor Western Farmer. Punches, Bless ye, my children, I will never desert thee!" and he kept his word. Magnanimity like this is all too rare in this cold world. By-and-by Eng fell in love with his sis ter-in-law, and married her, and since that day they have all lived together in an ex ceeding sociability, which is touching and beautiful to behold, and is a scathing rebuke to our boasted civilization. The sympathy existing between these two brothers is so close and so refined that the feelings, the. impulses, the emo tions of the one are instantly experienced by the other. When one is sick the other is sick when one feels pain the other feels it when one is angered the other's temper takes fire. We have already seen with what happy felicity they both fell in love with the same girl. Now Chang is bitterly opposed to all forms of intemper ance on principle, but Eng is the reverse —for, while these men's feelings and emo tions are so closely wedded, their reason ing faculties are unfettered, their thoughts are free. Chang belongs to the Good mmuzsQrA HISTORICAL SOCIETY. Templars, and is a hard-working and en thusiastic supporter of all temperance reforms. But, to his bitter distress, every now and then Eng gets drunk, and of course that makes Chang drunk too. This unfortunate thing has been a great sorrow to Chang, for it almost destroyed his use fulness in his favorite field of effort. As sure as he is to head a great temperance procession. Eng ranges up alongside of him, prompt to the minute and drunk as a lord but no more dismally and hope lessly drunk than his brother who has not tasted a drop. And so the two begin to hoot and yell and throw mud and bricks at the Good Tem plars, and of course they break up the procession. It would be mani festly wrong to punish Chang for what Eng'does, and therefore the Good Tem plars accept the untoward situation and suffer in silence and sorrow. They have officially and deliberately examined into the matter, and find Chang blame less. They have taken the two brothers and filled Chang full of warm water aud sugar and Eng full of whisky, and in twenty-five minutes it was not possible to tell which was the drunkest. Both were as drunk as loons, and on hot whisky from the smell of their breath et all the while Chang's moral princi ples were unsullied his conscience clear and so all just men were forced to confess he was not morally but only physically drunk. By every right and by every moral evidence the man was strictly sober, and therefore it caused his friends all the more anguish to see him shake hands with the pump and try to wind his watch with his night-key. There is a moral in these solemn warn ings, or at least a warning in these solemn morals, one or the other. No matter, it is somehow. Let us keep it let us profit by it. I could say more of an instructive na ture about these interesting beings, but let what I have written suffice. Having forgotten to mention it sooner, I will remark, in conclusion, that the ages of the Siamese twins are respectively fifty-one and fifty-three years. Beaten at Their Own Game. ABOUT two years ago a Missouri River steamboat left Fort Benton with a party of tough and well to do miners on board. There were also among the passengers three or four "brace men," and befoie ar riving at Sioux City they had generally cleaned out the pockets of the miners. The boat stopped at Sioux City to wood up, and found, among others waiting to get on board, a ministerial-looking per sonage with the longest and most solemn countenance on him you can well imag ine. He was dressed in a suit of black, wore a white stovepipe hat and choker collar, ornamented with a black neck handkerchief. Well, he got on board and the boat start ed down the stream. For two days he was unnoticed by the other passengers, but one of the sports at last thought he saw a chance to make something out of the sad and melancholy individual The latter would once or twice a day step up to the bar, and, with a voice that was as mild and gentle as a maiden's, ask for 44 A glass of soda, if you please," and then he would pull a roll of bills from his pocket and take a quarter from their in terior layers. Then he would say to the barkeeper, as if under a thousand obliga tions, Thank you, sir," and walk aft again as if about to commit suicide. The thing had gone far enough, and the gambler I have spoken of at la&t ap proached him. 44 Would you like a game of seven-up, sir?" 41 Seven-up What is seven up? Please tell me, my good friend 44 Why, a game of cards, you know, just to pass away the time. Let us play a game." 44 My good friend, I do not know any thing concerning cards I cannot play them." 44 Well, come along we'll show yon how to do it." And the mild gentleman in black, after some further protests, at length consented. They showed him how 'twas done, and they played several games. The gentle man in black was delighted. Gamblers want to know if he will play poker, five cents ante, just for the fun of the thing. Gentleman in black says he can't play the game, but they explain again, and the poker commences. The gentleman in black loses every time. There are six men in the game. Each one deals before the gentleman in black, and ante has been raised to a dol lar. Gent in black deals awkwardly and looks at his hand. Next man to dealer bets five—goes around, and bets are raised to $100. Gent in black sees it and makes it $100 better. Gamblers look sur prised, but will not be bluffed. The bet had reached $500—a thousand. All draw out except a Pike's Peak miner, who sees and calls him: 44 4*What have you?" Waal." answers the gent in black, I have—let me see, let me see—waal, I have four ones." The gamblers, who have suspicioned some time before, now look wild, and the light begins to dawn in the miner's mind. He leaned across the table and said in the most sarcastic tones he could command: 44 Oh, you heave, heave yer! You sanc timonious shuffler." Tne gent got up from the table and handed one of the gamblers his card. It read Bill Walker, New Orleans"—one of the most successful sharpers in the country.—St. Louis Journal. Affecting Romauce. A young gentleman living near Terre Haute felt that life had no charms if a young lady of whom he thought a great deal didn't consent to marry him. She didn't, and he immediately went West, and employed a sympathetic friend to write to her saying that he was dead, and begging her as his parting request to stop and drop a weed or a flower or a tear upon his lonesome grave if she happened to be passing in that direction. Mark the prac ticality of the modern young lady! No thrill of anguish desolated her soul she calmly wrote back to the friend that if he had any consideration for her feelings to send her the dear departed's watch and chain and money. The things were sent and their owner speedily followed to ob serve the effect of his beau stratagem. Alas! he met her walking with Another, and wearing all his jewelry. Appalled by this sudden apparition of a dead man Another fled, but the young lady had sharper eyes for her unappreciated suitor. All's well that ends well she was so displeased with Another for running away in terror that now she is about to marry the ghost. -r-The loved land of babies—Lapland. CURRENT ITEMS. THE Saginaman estimates the standing timber in Michigan at 33,000,000,000 feet. OF the 900 and odd children born in Hartford, Conn., last year, over 700 were of Irish parentage. IT is said that American life insurance companies having agencies in England are not doing well. A NEW YORK State doctor gave a woman aconite to cure her deafness, and since the funeral they can't find him. AT several places in Montana the epi zooty has reappeared. Some stage lines have been compelled to stop. KEROSENE does not meet with favor in Georgia, almost every household sticking to the time-honored tallow dip. IF the new proposition to burn the dead prevails, what are the medical men to do for subjects for the dissecting table? A CLERMONT (Iowa) farmer put out poison for the wolves. The next morning his dog and seven hogs were dead. A CONNECTICUT paper proposes to fine every man $500 who adulterates liquor, and only two doMars where he sands his sugar. A. MAN in Keokuk lately dropped dead while combing his hair, and yet there are people who will persist in the dangerous habit A MONTANA man has been exiled from the Territory, under pain of pitch and plumage, for the crime of marrving a Chinawoman. A PURE quality of alum is found in large lantities in the form of incrusta tions on the rocks near Lancha Plana, Amador County, Cal. THE Governor of Maine recently sent to the*Legislature of that State the first veto for fifteen years. Both houses sus tained the objection. ELI G. FOWLER, cf Norwich, Conn., speared an eel the other day that meas ured thirty and a half inches long and twelve inches around its body. ASTRONOMERS say that their science can be practically studied under our clear atmosphere to better advantage than from the observatories of Middle Europe. THERE are five members only of the Utah Legislature who are not possessed of more than one wife each, and of these five three are Mormons by profession. A FLUME is to be constructed from the mountains, leading into Nevada City and Grass Valley, Cal., to float down wood and timber. The distance is thirteen miles. PATENT-GATE swindlers are raiding through Michigan, selling what they call 44 Hickman's patent farm gate They are swindlers, according to the Free Pi ess, of Detroit. THERE were recently in jail in Georgia twenty men arrested in that State for illicit distilling. Indictments had been found against many others, who had so far escaped arrest. FARMERS in the American Bottom live in dread lest their crops be destroyed by grasshoppeis next summer. Investiga tions prove that they lurk in millions "in many fields of wheat. IT is getting so fashionable in Phila delphia for ladies to get drunk that the Inquirer calls upon husbands to interfere, ana would uphold them in turning the key on the inebriates. AN Indiana man with a turn for statis tics calculates that his faithful dog, ten years of age, has cost him $234 25 for hash and $25 for license. The dog is now for sale. Price, ten cents. A LARGE uninvited crowd which assem bled in St Michael's Church, in Chestei, Pa, to witness a wedding were locked in by the sexton, and meanwhile the nuptial ceremonies transpired elsewhere. A CONSUMPTIVE man in Rhode Island had an idea that if he could drink fresh blood from a goat it would cure him, and he killed seven or eight goats belonging to neighbors and got himself in jail. IT is said that the wife of Gen. Sher man is very much opposed to round dances, and does not permit her daughters to indulge in them even at her own house. Mrs. Sherman is a devout Catholic. A CINCINNATI court has, decided that any one purchasing a ticket for a theater after the hour announced for the curtain to rise will be entitled to any seat in the house which he finds unoccupied on en tering. MR. BURNAM and wife, living near Hampton, Iowa, in going home from town in a sleigh, a few days ago, had the baby with them. The mother wrapped the little fellow so closely that she smothered it to death. FOR pure grit and long-continued pa tience you want to go to Toledo. A young lady in that town has sent 11(5 pieces of poetry to a newspaper, and though all have been rejected she is strug gling with another. A CLERGYMAN proposes the abolition of golden, silver, tin, wooden, and all other weddings, and the substitution therefor of an anniversary renewal of the fee to the minister who officiated at the orig inal ceremony. A MARYLAND farmer stayed beside a railroad track for three hours to tell the conductor of an approaching train about a tree that lay across the rails. The grate ful official explained to him that anybody but a first-class fool would have cleared the track. N ELSON ROBBINB, of Fond du Lac, Wis., got drunk and started home the other night. He fell down, and remained by the side of the road until his feet ana hands were so badly frozen that ampu tation was found necessary. IN Warren County, Pa., recently, a horse, ridden at a smart gallop, caught its foot in a cavity of the road. The foot was wedged in firmly, and the impetus of the horse was so great that the hoof was wrenched completely off. The poor brute was afterward killed. A PIOUS old lady near Athens, Ga., rather surprised a lot of young folks who had captured her mansion for a party by furnishing entertainment in the shape of a sermon two hours long from one of the most solemn of parsons. It was a sur prise party inverted. A DANVTLLE (Va.)murderer, who lately had his death sentence commuted to im prisonment for life, was digging ont of jail, and had got a hole through the floor when his commutation came. He ex. pressed himself satisfied, and gave up a knife which he had concealed. A LADY in Kingston, N. H., has died of 44 progressive locomotor ataxia." It was the general impression among her ac quaintances, as soon as her disease be came known, that she never could recover. The London Sfutalor says that the late Gladstone Ministry died of the same dis ease.