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The Western advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1872-1874, April 25, 1874, Image 1

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HB was the Lord of Merlintower.
And I was but of low degree
She had her beauty for her dower,
No other treasure needed she
He came, when hawthorns were a-flower,
And strove to steal my love from me.
Oh! she was sweeter than the wind
That bloweth over Indian islet:
As April bright, than June more kind,
Fawn-wild, and full of winsome wile*
And I, alas 1 had learnt to find
My only life beneath her smiles.
He sent my love a ruby rare,
That mijjht have graced imperial brows.
No gem had I To deck her hair
I Mmt her—but a simple rose,
And prayed her, on a night, to wear
The gift of him whose love she chose.
Come, queen of all my heart's desire!
Crown me or slay! My soul is stirred
To challenge fate. My pulses tire
Of fear's chill tremor. Sings the bird
Of hope for him who dares aspire f"
A lover's scroll, and wild of word!
We watched her coming, he and I,
With utter dread my heart stood still.
The moon's wan crescent waned on high,
The nightiugale had Ban" his fill,
In the dim distance seemed to die
Th» echo of his latest trill.
The flower-trailed gate, our tryst of old,
Gleamed wbitely 'neath the clustering bloom
Of the dusk-starring jasmine. Cold
His shadow fell, a ghostly gloom
Lurked where it lay. Oh, heart o'er bold!
Hast thou but hastened utter (loom?
A still, cold smile slept on his face.
That all my hope to anguish froze
Then, in the silence of the place.
We heard her flower-pied porch nnclose,
And—in her hair's silk-soft embrace,
There nestled warm a ripe-red rose!
—All the Year Sound.
Papa calls her sweetheart,
Mamma calls her love.
She Is Grandpa's darling,
Grandma's sweetest dove
Little, laughing baby,
Everybody's pet,
Though she has been with us
Not a six-month yet!
Snow flakes white and fleecy
Fall down from the sky,
All this wintry weather
On Earth's bosom lie
go her baby spirit,
Pure as falling snow,
Came to us from Heaven
Little time ago I
What her real name Is,
That I cannot tell,
Lest the listening angels
Call her home to dwell.
Trust to God the future,
He will guide her feet
In the happy present
The first thing in the morning," went
on Mrs. Peckington, unheeding Mr. Mer
ilton's modest hint, and the last at night
I'm thinking about it. First I put it in
Deacon Elian Horton's bank, and then I
drew it out again—banks aren't noways
safe nowdays. And then I buried it in
the east cellar, close to the apple bin,
and then came the deluging rain and I
knowed the cellar would be three inches
deep in water. So up it came again, and
theu I could not rest in my bed for fear
of fire. So I got it changed into gold,
and I guess it's safe enough."
In the bottom of your big red chest?"
mischievously hazarded George.
No matter where, sir," said the widow,
nodding her head.
Oh, but you might tell us," persisted
We are all your own folks,
Cora and I."
Cora Dallas sat stitching quietly in the
corner—the pretty orphan whom good
Mrs. Peckington had taken out of the
orphan asylum to bring up" five years
don't expect to leave you nothing,"
Mrs. Peckington had said,
And Cora had accepted the good dame's
offer with meek gratitude.
She had grown very pretty in the last
few years, this solitary child of nobody.
Dark-eyed, with bair full of deep chestnut
golden shadows, a peach-blossom skin,
where the rosy blood glowed brightly
through on the slightest provocation, and
a mouth like Hebe, it seemed as if nature
had made a solemn compact with herself
to atone for all social slights that might
be cast across Cora Dallas' path.
Well," said Mrs. Peckington, seriously,
I don't mind telling you, but mind you
don't repeat it—the bag's hung half-way
up the chimney, on an iron hook."
But suppose the chimney should take
fire," said Merrilton.
It won't. I keep it well swept and be
sides, if it should, it takes a pretty good
heat to melt gold."
Upon my word, Cousin Clarissa," said
Merrilton," you area second Machiavelli."
Who in pity sakes was he?" asked
Mrs. Peckington.
Set by, Mr. Simkins," said the widow,
hospitably, putting another moss-fringed
log on the fire seems like we're going
to have another spell of weather."
And while the widow and her middle
aged lover discussed the weather, George
took occasion to help Cora get down a
half bushel of red apples from the garret,
and was unnecessarily long about it, too.
should think you would be ashamed
of yourself, George Merrilton," said
Cora, dimpling and blushing, and trying
to look very angry, in which she suc
ceeded very indifferently.
What for?" audaciously demanded
George. One doesn't get a chance to
kiss a pretty girl every day in the year."
What would Mrs. Peckington say
dare say she's doing the very same
thing herself down stairs with Jehorum
And Cora burst out laughing at the pre
posterous idea, just as the widow came in
to bustle around after quince jelly and
apple butter, ani to tell Cora to mix up a
batch of .muffins, for Neighbor Simkins
was going to Stay to tea.
And them Mr. SlmUai took his leave
with a roguish twinkle of his eye toward
the young people, and Mrs. Peckington
went over to spend the evening with Mrs.
Dottleford, her pet crony, and Cora sat all
alone in the firelight, sewing and sighing
and thinking. For George Merrilton had
gone home early to secure Mr. Simkins'
companionship apart of the way through
the lonely roads which already were be
coming veiled in snow.
The tall, old-fashioned clock in the
angle of the old-fashioned kitchen chim
ney had just struck midnight when Cora
Dallas was roused from her sleep by a
sheeted form at the foot ot her bed—tall
and narrow, clad in white—but no ghost
nevertheless, but Mrs. Peckington's self.
What's the matter?" cried Cora,
My money!" gasped the widow, wav
ing her hand tragically in the air.
But what of it?"
"It's stolen!"
Yes," said Mrs. Peckington, whose
lips were now compressed, and there was
something in her manner that Cora never
before noticed, as she called the white
headed farm boy, and told him to run
over and ask Farmer Simkins to step to
the Peckington place that morning.
And you may as well stop for George
Merrilton, as you come back," said she.
When he was gone she came close up
to Cora Dallas.
Cora," said she, we two are alone
together now, and I am the last one to be
hard on you. Confess now, and we'll see
how the matter can be cleared up."
Cora opened wide her brown eyes.
Confess what?" she asked, innocently.
She is Baby Sweet!
—Sural New Yorker.
"MONET is a great trial," said the
widow Peckington, impressively. I de
clare I did Dot know what care meant be
fore brother Gabriel died and left me all
the money."
"Well, Cousin Clarissa," observed
George Merrilton, who was assidously en
gaged in entangling the widow's work to
the very best or the very worst of his
ability, in case you find yourself une
qual to the strain, all you have to do is to
leave me the five thousand dollars."
That you took the money there was
no one else that could have done it. You
were here all alone yesterday evening,
and I know it was a strong temptation to
a gal that never had five dollars of her
own in the world. Cora, you're young,
child, and I don't believe you're alto
gether bad, but Satan sifts us all as wbeat,
Stop!" cried Cora, growing white and
breathless "you suspect me—you think
I am a thief! Mrs. Peckington, may God
forgive you forgive you for your very
cruel suspicion!"
Mrs. Peckington was silent. She knew
not how she could help the impression
which so strongly bore upon her mind.
Who but Cora Dallas could have taken
the missing gold?
girl, flitting up to him as for safety, as
the door opened and the stalwart form of
George Merrilton appeared she believes
that I stole the money you do not think
so, do you?"
George Merrilton's eyes sparkled
nervously. Cousin Clarissa, I would
stake my life on Cora's innocence."
Mrs. Peckington shook her head.
It looks very ugly for her," she said,
but of course if she can prove it—"
It needs no proof in my eyes," said
George, quietly, as he drew Cora's arm
within his. "There, little one, don't
tremble so, and look so wonderfully
frightened—no one shall dare harm you
as long as I am by your side."
But where's Mr. Simkins?" asked the
widow, missing her strongest ally in this
hour of need.
If you please, ma'am," said the white
headed farm boy, he had gone away
suddenly to Allenville at four o'clock this
gporning to see his father, as he had a
stroke,and they don't expect him back not
until the last of next week."
Mrs. Peckington stood undecided.
At all events," she said, turning to
Cora Dallas, you can't expect shelter
under my roof no longer. I didn't look
for such treatment from you."
Cousin Clarissa," said Merrilton,
bravely, I love Cora Dallas, and I stand
here to espouse her cause. You may
sue her if you like."
for I've rela-
tions of my own, but I'll give you a dis
trict school education, and a decent bring*
ing up, and a good chance to do for your
you sure?" eagerly demanded
As sure as I am that you're staring at
me now. I felt up the chimney for it the
last thing afore I got ready to go to bed,
and—it was gone."
In vain proved all search. Neither up
chimney, nor down cellar, nor in any
imaginable corner was the bag of gold
pieces to be found.
Mrs. Peckington," said Cora, huskily,
it must have been stolen."
George!" gasped the poor
shan't do that," said the widow
leastwise not until Jehorum Simkins
comes home to advise me what's best."
But," went on George Merrilton, I
shall make her my wife this very day, in
order that I can offer her a home in place
of the one of which you cruelly deprived
The widow, albeit naturally a kind
hearted woman, fired up at this.
"Of course I've nothing to say," she
said, if you chose to marry a thief—"
But she stopped here—the upblazing
fire in Merrilton's eye admonished her to
go no further.
It was lonely enough those cold winter
days, sitting at her fireside, the money
gone, the merry sound of George Merril
ton's voice silent and Cora's bright pres
ence vanished.
If I should be wrong in 'sposing she
took it," she said to herself, I should be
dreadful sorry to think of all the ugly
names I called her—but I don't see as
there can possibly be any doubt to it.
Any way, Jehorum will advise me when
he comes."
And on the dusky eve of Saturday night
Farmer Simkins came.
There's Neighbor
Simkin8 at the door—jump and let him in,
Cora, tor it's beginning to snow like all
And Neighbor Simkins came in—a
broad-faced, jovial agriculturist, who lived
on the next farm, and was suspected of
matrimonial designs on the heart of Widow
never was so glad to see anybody in
all my born days," said Mrs. Peckington,
impulsively jumping from her seat—and
she told him the story of the vanished
bag of gold before he had a chance to de
posit his portly bulk upon the chair she
hospitably drew forward.
Mr. Simkins turned doll red—then a
tallow white—got up and sat down again,
and finally dragged a leather bag from
the recess of his butternut-colored coat
I'll never play off a practical joke
again,blamed ef I do," he ejaculated
for I declare to gracious I hadn't any
idea of the mischief I was a doin'! Here's
the money, Clarissy—I heard you tell the
folks where it was as I was a scrapin* the
snow off my feet under the window that
night, and I reached it downjust for a joke
when you was gone to see about the sup
per. I meant to have brought it back the
next morning, and have a good laugh with
you about the burglars, but you see howl
was fixed—father got poorly, and I
couldn't think of nothin' but him—but
you won't lay it up again me, Clarissy,
now will you
"But Cora Dallas!" gasped the aston
isned widow, I've told everybody that
she took it."
Then you and I must go round and
explain matters to everybody, that's all,"
said the farmer.
And Mrs. Peckington began to cry.
"Poor Cora!" she sobbed "poor
motherless child! I could bite out my
tongue when I think what wicked things
I have spoken with It. I'll go right
over there and beg her pardon, and
George's, too."
Cora Merrilton forgave Mrs. Pecking
ton—more than her husband could bring
himself to do—and she even came over
to help the widow make wedding cake
for her own matrimonial benefit.
For, of course, I knew it would all be
set right sooner or later," said Cora,
cheerfully, "and we'll let by-gones be
And the widow solaced her conscience
by presenting Mrs. Cora with just half the
contents of the mischievous leather bag
for a wedding present.
Batter Nats.
Sum men pay their dets bi driving
them out ov their memory.
True grateness konsists in allwuss ap
pearing abuv our fortune, be the same hi
or low.
We seldum do the best we kan—not be
kause we kant, but bekauze we wont
Pride seems to be pretty equally divid
ed, have seen just az mutch pride in a
stage driver and dansing-master az hav
ever seen in a newly-elekted member to
the legislatur.
Good luk makes a wize man karephull,
but a phool it makes kareless.
The world judges ov us bi what they
see, not bi what they know. It iz a good
plan, then, to sho them a bold front
It would seem that the poorest friend
and the wust enemy a man haz got iz
It iz the eazyest thing in natur to be
honest, yet most men make dredful hard
work ov it.
He who iz allwuss hunting for friends
seldum finds enny.
I kan most generally tell how other
people ought to akt, but how to akt miself
frequently bothers me.
A thoroly vain man, after he haz ex
hausted all hiz virtews, will begin to
brag to yu about hiz vices.
People are apt to complain ov the
phools in the world but the phools are
vittles and drink to the wize man.
He who iz reddy at enny time to leave
the sosiety ov others for the sosiety ov
himself iz possessed ov one grate element
ov happiness.
The grate truths are fu and simple, and
those who talk mutch are the ones who
say little.
All flatterers live upon flattery, and the
best way to git rid ov them iz not to flat
ter them in return, and they will soon
leave yu.
If it want for kuriosity I don't suppoze
thare would be mutch enterprize or im
provement in the world but the kuriosity
that prompts a man to stick hiz fingers
into a trap to see whether it will spring
or not seems to me aint wuth the invest
Noboddy really luvs to be cheated, but
it duz seem az tho everyboddy waz anx
ious to see how near they could cum to it.
I am afrade thare iz more fear than
humility in most kinds ov repentanse.
Whenever yu kan extrakt hunny from
wormwood then yu may expekt to git
happiness out ov unlawful plezzures.
Every boddy notisses a flaw in a
diamond, but a flaw in a pebble excites
no interest.
Most people repent ov their sins bi
thanking God that they are not so wicked
az other pholks are.
He who iz vain ov hiz virtews (if he iz
sure he haz got them) haz the best and only
excuse thare iz for vanity.
I suppoze if thare want a solitary human
being on the face ov the earth, the sun
would still rise in the east and set in the
west, the volkanoes would ockashionally
vomit fire, and Niagara would keep on
roaring, but thare's lots ov pholks who
don't think so.—N. Y. Weekly.
An Astonishing Feat.
A LETTER from Siam to the New York
World thus describes a scene at an exhibi
tion given by some native jugglers:
That is Norodom," whispered Woun
Tajac in my ear. Another actor now
came upon the scene, whom I recognized
to be the tall athlete Tepada. Behind
him came a smaller man, whose name,
Woun-Tajac informed me, was Minhman,
and a boy, probably twelve years old,
called Tsin-ki. These four began some
of the most wonderful athletic exhibitions
that can be conceived. It is impossible
to believe, unless you.saw it what work
these men put human muscle to. I am
not going to provoke the credulity of your
readers by attempting to describe the ma
jority of them. In one feat Tepada
seized Norodom by his long white beard,
held him off at arm's length, and spun
around with him until the old man's legs
were horizontal to the athlete's shoul
ders. Then, while they still spun with
the fury of dervishes, Minhman sprang
up, seized upon Norodom's feet, and spun
out a horizontal continuation of the an
cient, and when Minhman was firmly es
tablished the boy Tsin-ki caught to his
feet in like manner, and the tall athlete,
every muscle in him straining, continued
to whirl the human,jointless lever around.
At last, slowing slightly, Tepada drew in
his arms till the old man's white beard
touched his body. There was a sudden
strain and the arms of the men from being
horizontal became perpendicular, No
rodom's head resting atop of Tepada's,
and Minhman's head upon Norodom's
feet, and Tsin-ki's head on Minhman's
feet. A pause for breath, then the column
of men was propelled into the air, and
presto! Tepada's head was on the ground.
Norodom's feet to his, Minhman's feet
UDon Norodom's head, Tsin-ki's feet on
Minhman's head. Each had turned a
somersault, and the column was un
—The value of the timber used for fuel
annually in the United States is $75,000,
000, and for iencing, $150,000,000. The
number of railway ties in use is 150,000,
000. The average yield of timber land
per acre is 200 ties hence 750,000 acres
of land have been cleared to furnish the
present supply. Railway ties last about
five years therefore 80,000,000 ties are
used annually in the repairs of railways,
taking the timber on 150,000 acres. There
is consumed in the manufacture of rolling
stock the timber of 850,000 acres, and the
growth of 500,000 acres more for other
purposes every year. Our railways are
stripping the country of 1,000,000 acres
per annum, and the demand is fast in
—The Mark Lams Express places the
annual production of Indian corn in por
tions of Europe as follows: France,
80,000,000 bushels Italy, 45,000,000bush
els Austria, 11,000,000 bushels Hun
fary, 66,000,000 bushels Greece,
000,000 bushels Portugal, 15,000,000
bushels. The total area seeded in corn is
placed at 48,000,000 acres, and the. pro
duction at 1,160,070,000 bushels.
-A.N I N E E N E N N E W S A E
A Hallucination.
Mv aunt and cousins were going to
Brighton for several weeks, and had
asked me down to see them. As I was
not certain on which day they intended
to leave London, I thought I should call
at my uncle's house in Westend Square
and inquire. When I rang the bell the
door was opened by a tall woman respect
ably dressed in gray. She did not look at
all like a servant, and seemed between
forty and fifty. Her features were good,
but masculine, and she was very pale, but
her paleness was not unhealthy. To my
inquiry if Mrs. was at home, she
said: No they have all gone and be
fore I had time to ask when they left the
door was shut. I knew that my uncle did
not intend leaving town till the dissolu
tion of Parliament, and that, when his
family were from home, he generally
stayed at the Palace HotfX so I went in
search of him. I found he was staying
there, but was not in. I then went to his
club, but was unable to find him. I
wished to know when I was expected at
Brighton but as I was aware that I
should be welcome at any time, my chief
reason looking for him was tofindout
who the strange woman was that was
taking care of his house, as I could not
get her face out of my head. I did not
see him, however, and the next day I left
for Brighton. I took the earliest oppor
tunity of asking my aunt in whose charge
she had left her house.
is no one in the house," she
said it is locked up."
I then told her that I had gone to the
house and described the woman who had
opened the door, adding that she was one
of the strangest-looking women I had
ever seen. My aunt said that I must be
mistaken, as it was quite impossible there
could be any one there. My cousin
agreed with her, and asked me, among
other things, whether I had dined before
going to the square.
know what he has done," cried
Amy, a smart child of eight—" he has
rung the wrong bell." The theory ap
peared to receive general acceptance but
I was not to be done out of my belief in
this manner, and stuck firmly to my orig
inal assertion. My favorite cousin,
Annie, was the only one who took my
part, and said that, for all they knew,
Borne one might have got into the house.
If any one had got into the house,"
said my aunt, it is quite evident that
they would not open the door to any per
son who came to it."
pleaded Annie, "if they were
there for no harm!"
said one of her sisters
it's a hallucination" At this they all
laughed, and I joined them, though I was
in no laughing mood.
As Annie had taken my part, she did
not desert me, but telegraphed to her
papa to go to their house and ring the
bell, knock at the door three times and say
"Open sesame." When she told us her
message, she added: If there is any one
in the house they are certain to come for
that to which we all agreed. My uncle,
who would do anything for his daughter,
did as he was requested and telegraphed
back that all bis efforts had made no im
pression on the door. I was then left
alone. Annie sided with the rest in tell
ing me I had made a mistake. I was un
shaken, however, and the recollection of
the strange appearance of the person who
had opened the door made me feel very
unoomfortable. I made some excuse to
go up town the next day and determined
to investigate the matter for myself. On
arriving in London, I went at once to my
uncle's house. I rang the bell, but no an
swer. I knoeked, but all was still. I
again rang furiously and even kicked the
door but in vain. I began to think that
1 must on the former occasion have gone
to the wrong door, and went out some
distance from the house to look at it be
fore leaving. The blinds were all down
but just as I was turning to go away I saw
a hand holding the bottom of one of them,
and which was at once withdrawn. It
was merely for an instant that I saw this,
and left, feeling rather sick.
I returned to Brighton the next day, and
told what I had seen. I could not, how
ever, affirm that 1 had seen the hand with
the same confidence as I had spoken about
the woman. The action was so instanta
neous that I felt I might have been de
ceived so that when my cousins began
to cross-examine me on the subject, and
show its unlikelihood, I rather wavered.
When I admitted that I had rung and
knocked for about five minutes without
any one coming, they evidently thought
that I was mistaken on both occasions,
and had seen nothing. My aunt had not
this time ventured to give auy opinion.
Much to my disgust, they then began to
talk of people who had imagined they saw
all sorts of strange things, till at last my
auntTstopped them. She was looking very
grave, and put numerous questions to me
about my health. Was I quite certain I
had not been reading too hard, lately My
cousins understood her and were silent. I
saw Annie looking very pitifully at me.
They evidently thought my mind was af
fected. This was more than I could bear,
and I quite believed what thev told
me the next few days, that I was
looking very unwell indeed. My
uncle came down for a night. He took
me aside, and began talking very mysteri
ously. Young men," he said, reading
law in chambers ought to take great care
of their health, and not overwork them
selves." I had not had a book in my
hand for about a month, but I did not
tell him so. He strongly advised me to
take a tour on the Continent. When I
saw my aunt she repeated what her hus
band had said. They had evidently had
a conference about me. As I did feel a
little unwell, and had no desire to stay
among people who thought I was a little
erazed, I replied that I thought a little
traveling would do me good. I found
some men whom I had known at college
who were going to Switzerland, and they
asked me to join them. We spent three
very pleasant weeks in rambling about,
and then we went to Vienna. I saw
many people I knew, and quite forgot
why I had left England. The memory of
that strange-looking woman never haunt
ed me while I was away. I was away al
together about five weeks. The day after
I returned to London, as I was going to
Westend Square to see if my uncle had
returned before going to Scotland, the
thought of what I had seen at his house
darted into my mind. Just then I met a
friend. Have you heard of the great
Tobbery at your uncle's?" he said. I was
unable to answer him. I have not heard
particulars,'* he continued, but it seems
to have been a very wholesale one."
While they were at Brighton the house
had actually been gutted. Pictures, car
pets, and even ehairs had been taken
away. In fact almost every article that
was portable had been carried off. There
had Veen no plate left in the house, so
that was the only thing of value that was
saved. It could be seen that the burglars
had actually lived in the house they had
made a raid on the wine cellar and had
left the empty bottles in all corners of the
house. They had left a well-written let,
ter, thanking my uncle for the use of his
house and for what they had taken, and
stating that on some future occasion they
might pay him another visit. Not the
slightest clew to the thieves was ever, so
far as I am aware, discovered. The po
lice did not allow the thing to get into
the papers, as they thought it might hin
der them in finding out the burglars. I
expected some apologies for my state
ments having been doubted. Instead of
that, however, I was told it was very fool
ish of me not to have informed the police
of what I had seen. The reader may
judge for himself whether I was more to
blame than those I did inform.—Cham
bers' Journil.
An Unklssed Little Girl.
CAN any one imagine a little girl eight
or ten years old who has never been
kissed Caressing is such an early and
often experience of children, and sweetens
so many of the little bitternesses of their
young lives, that it seems almost incredi
ble that a girl, poor or rich, could live
eight years without feeling the pressure
of fond lips to hers. Yet one such has
been found in New York, and her exist
ence suggests that many others may not
only be going unkissed by affection, but
starved and beaten and outrageously
abused by barbarity. A charitable lady
was on a visit to a poor, dying woman, in
a miserable quarter, and heard wild
screams, apparently ot a child suffering
abuse. She inquired about it, and the
neighbors told her they were made famil
iar with that music by hearing it every
day. It was the Connollys beating a
child. The neighbors had never seen the
child, but knew it was there, and had been
for years, by its daily and nightly wails
of distress and shrieks of torment.
Now there happens to be no society for
the prevention of cruelty to young
children. The law is supposed to protect
them by giving them to their masters,
parents or guardians. The law contem
plates and presupposes humanity in a
civilized state, and there's where it some
times errs. Where the error exists, there
the poor little babes are worse off than
the brutes. The best the lady could do
under the circumstances was to go to Mr.
Henry Bergh, President of the Society for
Protection of Dumb Brutes, and report
the case. If it had been a dog or a cat or
a rat, Mr. Bergh would have had un
doubted and complete jurisdiction to lib
erate the animal and punish its tormentors.
But it was a child, and in truth Mr. Bergh
had nothing to do with the case. He,
however, interested himself in it, and col
lected evidence, and heard for himself,
and laid the matter before a Judge. The
Judge issued a writ to bring the child
before him. Her appearance revealed
years of torture, and her manner confessed
that she told the truth when she gave in
her young experience to the court.
She said her name was Mary Ellen Mc
Cormack, and that she did not know how
old she was. Her parents were both dead,
but she called Mrs. Connolly mamma
never had but one pair of shoes had no
shoes or stockings this winter had never
been allowed to go out of the rooms
where the Connollys live except in the
night, and then only in the yard had
never been in the street that she recollect
ed never wore flannels, only a frock
Blept on apiece of carpet, with a quilt
over her. Mrs. Connolly whipped her
everyday the whip made black marks
on her never knewwhat she was whipped
for supposed it was the way all
children had to be served. A deep cut
over her forehead was made with a pair
of scissors in mamma's hand. She had
no recollection of ever being taken on any
body's lap and kissed. Didn't know
what kissing is. She was always locked
up in a bed-room when Mrs. Connolly
went out, and whipped when she came
in. This was the substance of her story.
The Judge declined to let Mary Ellen
go back to the Connollys, and the little
girl will probably be placed some day
where she will be kissed, but she can
never make up for lost time. A society
for the prevention of cruelty to young
children could probably find hundreds of
such cases in every large city.—8t. Louis
A Sell, Not a Sale.
AMIABLE shopkeepers deserve to be
canonized. Here is an illustration of the
trials to which they are constantly sub
jected: One midsummer day, when
^Eolus slept and the thermometer stood
in the nineties, a lady entered a store not
a thousand miles off, and inquired for
parasols. The obliging proprietor spread
out before her samples of a large and
varied stock. "Have you any of this
shade, a size larger?" said the lady. The
-ize larger was produced. I think on
the whole I prefer the size smaller." The
size smaller was presented. Have you
any of this size a still lighter shade of
blue?" The required shade was brought
out. Haven't you any of this kind with
a crooked handle The shade with the
crooked handle appeared. "Have you
any with the crooked handle not quite so
heavy said the lady, and so continued
her inquiries for eveiy conceivable size,
shade and weight possible in the line of
parasols. After nearly an hour had been
thus consumed, the fair shopper gathered
up her handkerchief and gloves and
moved for the door. Can't I sell you a
parasol?" inquired the exhausted proprie
tor. O dear! no," replied the lady,
was merely inquiring the price. I am
going into mourning myself, and have
one for sale."—New Bedford Mercury.
Congressional Speeches With the Laugh
Left Ont.
HENCEFORTH the words laughter,"
applause," sensation" and other par
enthetical remarks indicative of the hila
rious or appreciative demonstrations of
the House are to be omitted from the of
ficial report of the debates, which will
now be drier reading than ever. The in
telligent constituent, while perusing the
dreary efforts of his member to be witty,
will have to judge for himself where the
laugh came in, and will be thrown back
upon his unaided imagination for a pic
ture of the applause which greeted the
flights of eloquence. This important de
cision was made to-day at the instance of
George F. Hoar, who asked by what rule
or authority the words in question were
put in. The Speaker said there was no rule
for it, and that, as the words only put on
record the fact that the members had vio
lated the rules which forbade applause or
other demonstrations, they had better be
omitted, and he would direct the report
ers to cease putting them in.—Washing
ton Note* in N. Y. Tribune.
GRATITUDE is the throwing out of our
hearts in the light of another's kindness
THKKE are twenty counties in Pennsyl
nia which do not owe a dollar of public
BRINGING a Limburger cheese into
Denver is punishable by a fine of $19 for
the first offense.
THE Eastern oyster refuses to spawn in
the bay of San Francisco. He grows
very fat and then dies.
IT has been decided in Wisconsin that
a lady who is kissed by a conductor cau
bring action against the company.
A DUBUQUE man has asked the courts
to protect him against three widows who
are trying to force him into a marriage.
A BROOKLYN sewing society fines any
member who talks scandal $1 for each
oflense only the wealthy are able to at
THE Niagara hotel-keepers announce
that they are going to put a stop to hack
swindling, but what about hotel swin
A BOY in St. Louis swallowed seven
brass buttons because another boy dared
him to, and is now laid up for internal
VERMONT boys threaten to run away
and become pirates unless they are given
hunks of maple sugar, and mothers have
to submit.
PEOPLE who propose to explore Africa
ought to know that it takes a whole month
to dry a dead explorer so that he can be
shipped home.
KIND WORDS are wonderful in their
way," says an exchange, but so far as
children go a boot-jack exerts a more pow
erful influence."
AN agricultural society in New York
is discussing the morality of raising hops
and is getting rather hoppy over the ques]
tion. Try rye, says an exchange.
THE human fiend in plum-colored
kids who spit tobacco on my hat is
marked for death," says John Lane in an
advertisement in a Memphis paper.
A DETROIT paper noting, the fact that
a man fell down dead while combing his
hair, says: And yet there are people
who will persist in that dangerous habit."
WOOD ashes and common salt made
compact with water will stop the cracks
of a stove, and prevent the smoke from
PITTSBURGH is going to cast a cannon
twenty-tight feet long. If the ball don't
kill they can punch a man in the stomach
with the mu£zle of the gun and severely
injure him.
BRAIXI HEE, Vt., had but one marriage
during 1873. The groom was a gay young
spark of 73, while the bride was a giddy
thing of 74. It was her second and his
fifth marriage.
THERE'S nothing like persistency.
John Couch was married in Philadelphia
the other day to a girl who had refused
him eighteen times. She wanted to see
if he really loved her.
Yoc may talk yourself into a bronchial
affection but you can't convince a Ver
mont woman that there won't be a death
in the family if she dreams of seeing a
hen walking a picket fence.
THE Maine people are waking up to
the enforcement of the Fish laws, and a
man was fined fifty dollars the other
day for merely bringing a salmon to mar
ket in Bangor out ot season.
IN a house at Augusta, Me., a rat's nest
recently discovered contained four silver
spoons, a three-tined fork, thirteen cotton
stockings and a half a peck of butter
nuts. Quite a stylish housekeeper for a
AFTER years of careful study and close
observation an Iowa professor is able to
announce that frogs can see sideways,
and that music has more of influence on
them than this careless world has any
idea of.
A NORTH CAROLINA Judge added three
years to a man's sentence because the fel
low hit him on the pate with a quid of
tobacco and called him "old boss." It
does seem as if the word freedom" had
no business in this country.
A CITIZEN of Vicksburg advertises:
My attention has been called to an edi
torial in the Vicksburg Herald of to-day,
which might reflect upon me. I de
nounce the author of said article as a
liar, scoundrel and a coward."
MRS. J. H. BLACKMAN, of East Sharon,
Mass., who had been paralyzed in one ot
her legs three years so as not to be able to
walk a step, fully recovered the use of her
limb a few weeks ago, as she claims, by
the efficacy of prayer alone.
Two hundred people in a Colorado town
recently turned out in a body to look upon
a bedstead with casters, it being the first
ever seen in the county. The possessor
had his hat over his left ear, and was for
a time a greater man than the Mayor.
THE quickest way we know of to make
a man believe that there's nothing in the
world worth living for is to excite him
into chasing a cat across a yard where two
or three clothes-lines are innocently sway
ing in the evening breeze.—Detroit Free
THE most astonishing case of spontane
ous nuptials has occurred in Iowa, where
a couple were recently married, and after
the ceremony the bude was obliged to
ask her husband what her new name
was. The parties had been acquainted
only a few hours.
How rapid is the march of civilization.
There is a county in Kansas where only a
few weeks ago the buffalo fed and the an
telope sported, now showing evidence of
modern civilization by bearing on the
docket of the District Court three divorce
SPEAKING of cremation, an exchange
utters the following:
And this is all that's left of thee.
Thou fairest of earth's daughters
Only four pounds of ashes white
Out of one hundred and fourteen and tnree
FASHION VBLE milliners are finally in
dignant, and assert that after this season
they will never have "openings." It
seems that the manipulation of bonnets
this year has ruined many hundred dol
lars' worth of goods, and they say that
this 6ort of thing can't go on forever,
more especially as they do not get any
How much better it would have been
to have shaken hands and allow it was all
a mistake," said a Detroit Judge. Then
the lion and the lamb would have lain
down together, and white robed peace
would have fanned you with her wings
and elevated you with her smiles ot ap
probation. But no you went to clawing
and biting and rolling in the mud, and
here you are. It's five dollars apiece."
THERE was a44 sewing party" (charity)
at Mrs. Basteemup's the other evening,
and during the affair the father of one of
the young ladies present appeared upon
the scene unexpectedly. He was so much
gratified at the cleverness exhibited bv his
daughter with her needle that he then and
there resolved that he would never pay
another dressmaker's bill. That young
lady has now a strong prejudice against
sewing parties," and says she was an
idiot ever to attend such an affair.
THE Brooklyn Eagle has discovered the
existence, just beyond the limits of that
city, in stables filled with filth and dirt,
packed together in the closest possible
space and in all conditions of disease, 800
cows fed upon hot swill emptied from an
adjoining distillery, and publishes the
names of some twenty dealers who peddle
the swill milk as Orange County milk"
to retail dealers and citizens of the two
A SUCCESSFUL April hoax, or a series
of hoaxes, was perpetrated by the attaches
of the Howard Athenoeum last evening.
A wire skeleton was dressed as a woman
and placed in a seat. The pulling of a
string caused it to fall to the floor, when
several of the audience were deceived into
giving the supposititious fainter their as
sistance. The device worked so well in
the theater that it was carried into the
streets, and several patrolmen became vic
tims of the hoax, which was oft repeated
during the night. One was induced to
awaken the women asleep in a door
way another was called to the woman
dead and so on, until the effigy was*
thrown from one of the wharves, and a
sympathizing sailor recovered the sup
posed body.—Boston Transcript, April 2.
A KENTUCKY paper tells this: One
night last week Mr. Arch Fuller, who
lives on the river, below Barboursville,
was aroused from his slumbers about
midnight by a peculiar noise in his yard.
He got up and, upon opening the door,
beheld standing within thirty feet of his
house a large black bear. He sprang for
his pistol and immediately opened fire on
Bruin. The night was dark, but Arch
could see the bear's eyes and knew it was
a bear, and kept on shooting until he had
emptied his revolver. Having no other
weapon about the house he closed and
barred the door and sat down to await the
dawn of day. As soon as daylight ap
peared Arch concluded that, as he had
heard no further noise during the night,
he had killed the huge beast and proposed
to make a survey of the battle-field. He
approached the spot where Bruin had
stood, and there, lying prostrate, with six
builet-holes through its body, was found
—his wife's wash-tub. Arch had seen
the brass hoops on the tub shining, and
took them for bear's eyes.
Bread Upon the Waters.
ONE day, not long ago, while an En
glish merchantman was on a voyage in the
Mediterranean, the Captain was called to
the hammock of a dying sailor who had
asked to see him The invalid seafarer
desired his commander to draw up for
him a last will and testament, wherein
the sum of $7,000 in, English sovereigns
was to be devised to a citizen of Memphis,
in Tennessee, U. S., and the uncontrolla
ble surprise of the Captain in his per
formance of the request of the sinking
man caused the latter to make the follow
ing explanation of the past circumstances
enabling him to bequeath such a sum of
money: An Englishman by birth, he was
a mechanic in Memphis ia the year 1861.
No matter about the causes of his expa
triation and humble foreign occupation.
Suffice it to say he had chosen to be a
mechanic in America. Only for a short
time, though for when the secession war
began he enlisted in one of the Tennessee
regiments, having been scarcely able to
earn a living as an artisan, and being just
recovered from a weary sickness of which
he must have died but for the generous
ministrations of a family of strangers.
Shortly after the discouraged convales
cent's enlistment, and before his regiment
marched further southward, he received
fiom his family in England the sum of
$7,000 in gold, which had been left to him
by a dying uncle. Instead of availing
himself of this windfall, however, to with
draw from the army and devote himself
otherwise than as a soldier, it was his
eccentric whim to bury his whole treasure
under a tree, in a lot belonging to the
gentleman whose family had been so
kind to him in his sickness, and to neither
speak nor act as though he had ever re
ceived any such money at all. Leaving
the gold thus secretly placed he marched
away with his military comrades.
Not long was it though before his eccen
tric character again displayed itself. Be
coming speedily weary of the precarious
fortunes of war, he "deserted from the
array into Mexico, and from thence em
barked on an English vessel as a common
seaman. Reaching England in due time,
instead of rejoiniDg his family there, he
at once became a sailor on another vessel
for a voyage around the world, and had
remained an obscure sailor until the fatal
sickness overtook him in the Mediterra
nean and an expiring impulse of gratitude
induced him to bequeath his gold yet
hidden in Memphis to those who had so
long ago befriended him in that city.
Such was the strange, scarcely credible
story which he told to the Captain in ex
Dlanation of his jcurious will and, after
signing the latter'with another name than
that by which he had been known on
shipboard, he carried the remaining mys
tery of his career with him into the world
of shadows.
The Captain hardly knew whether to
*regard either story or will as anything
more than the diseased fancy of a mad
man, but, upon reaching port, mailed the
document, as he had solemnly promised,
to the address of the Memphis gentleman
to whom the buried gold had been de
vised. And, according to a late issue of
the Memphis Register, that gentleman's
reception of the will, together with the
Captain's explanation of the foregoing
circumstances, has been followed by a
realization proving that the dying wan
derer of land and sea spoke truly. The
gentleman in question had some time
before sold and delivered to another party
the lot on which the valuable sovereigns
were deposited. How to get at it now
without incurring opposition and per
haps litigation was the question which
arose in his mind. After taking the
advice of counsel he concluded to de
velop the whole matter to the pur
chaser and owner of the place and
ask for the right to make search.
This was done, and the new pro
prietor generously forwarded his wishes
and gave him every facility to possess
himself of the treasure. On digging at
the foot of the tree described in^ the will
the gold, amounting to $7,000, was hap
pily found and the new owner made glad
by the glittering heap." Who the de
parted giver of this little fortune was in
his native personality is not known, and
the secret is buried with him beneath the
blue waves of the Mediterranean.—-New
York Graphic.

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