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Cass County Republican.
Published Every Wednesday, AT Dowagiae, Cass County, Michigan, In the Third StorT of Gibbs' Brick Bloc!., corner Front and Commercial Streets. JIATES OP ADVERTISING. COUNTY 1 m 2 m. j 3 m. i 6 m. ; 1 year 1 Inch.. it coi... 1 Col... 1 00il 50 2 50 3 00 4 50 8 7 00 2 00 5 00 7 00 9 00 15 00 1 25 00 4 001 9 00113 50 18 00;24 00 40 00 10 00; 16 00)24 00!28 0040 OO! 75 08 Car ls id Bu5iness Directory, not exceediur 5 linep. So per year, S3 for six months. Far each additional lino of space, 50 c ts a year. Local and ll.isiness Notice in reading m Uter vpc, 10 cents per !iuo for tho first insertion, and 0 cent? per line for each subsequent insertion. Legal :idreuisinr at statute rate?, payable in advance when no affidavit is required Advertisements not ordered lor a specified tune mm be marked 'till forbid' and charged ac cordingly. VOL. 22. DOWAG1AC, MICH., WEDNESDAY, JULY 2, 1879. NO. 14. CASS REPUBLICAN. Holmes & Greexleaf, Publishers. TERMS S2.00 Per Annum. A disoant o rU cents is inde if paid trictly in adraslce. Fifteen ftcnts additional is jhrre! fwrpostag for papers sat out of the county. Official Directory. COUNTY OFFICERS. Sheriff James H. Stamp. Indite of Probate William P. Bennett.. County Clerk Joseph-. Edwards. 'J.itny I're isurer R" I'-rick I.. Van css. tsjlirtW ti P -els Stephen L. George. V .joutili r Attorney JIarsen l- Smith, i- uit Court Commissioners Geo. Kctcham and Jo-eph B. Clarke. Surveyor Amos Smith, Vandalia. Coror.ors ffm. K. Palmer, David Boardsley. This Pt Office address of the above officers is L. wif'i the exception ot J. IS. CUrlte, and Wiiliica K raimer, which Is Dtmag! Autos Smith. Vandalia. SUPERVISORS. Marceltu? Andrew F. Cuil, Democrat. Volyiia John Huff, Republican. W i vns Frank P. Lee, Democrat. Dnw jiao Arthur .miih, " mIvw Creek William f Frnsf. Rcpnbliean. ? ki.n He ry W. Richards, Democrat. ijttJra Danwil S Joue, " -:rt L. D Gleason, Vrir .era; Lemuel Chapman, Greenback, porter dward T Motley, Republican. Calvin Levi J. Reynolds, " Jefferson Harley R. Bement. Democrat. Howard Walton W. Harder, Republican. Milton Win H. Olmsteud. " Ontwa Wm. K. Hopkins, Democrat. Mason Henry Thompson, " CIRCUIT COURT. Ju 1 M Judicial Circuit A. J. Smith. iprter M Jud't 'ial Circuit E. L. Knnpp. The terms of the Circuit Court for the County of Cass ere held as follows : On the first Tuesday in December, On the first Teeeday in March. On the first Tuesday In June. On the first Tuesday in October. BUSINESS DIRECTORY. E. W. ELDRIDGE, M. D , PHYSICIAN and Surgeon All calls in my profession will receive prompt attention, day or night Office in Howe's building, corner F rnt and Beeson St , up stairs. June ll-ly. Dx. E. A. CURTIS, HAS returned to Dowagiao to practice bis profession. Office at residence near M E Church. May 7-3m. DBKflST, lias removed Ins DENTAL OFFICE to the rooms formerly occupied bj Ike late O. M. Sherwood, oVei the Store of T. T. Stebbins &- son, Front Street. Dowasiac, March 2G, 3-tn C. T. LEE & SON, BANKERS, Sell Exchange at ono-half rates. .grg CYRUS TUTHILL, 'eerrtary of the Farmers' Mutnal FireTnsur 5 SMS Company of C.is County. Office at the First Natioual B ink, Dowagiae 50-tf C. W. MORSE, r.l. D. H AS remTe 1 hi; office and residence to first dior K tat of Methodist Church. WORTH LA2CD02C, Attorney at Law, Dee. 6-tf. Niles, Michigan. INTERNATIONAL HOTEL, UN'OhiU the management ot OnMI FuLi.Bn, Proprietor. Sejsedse none iu MieMgasT! Bus. fro-n all trains. Kalamazoo, Mich. JOHN WOOSTER, ArroRNKYnd Counselor at Law. Office, corner of Frent and Coirmorcial Streets, ;vor Oppenheiui's Store, Dowasiac. 3S-tf. B. W. SCHERMERHORW, Tl'ICE Of THE PE.Urf. V:':. i in Jew el's Block, Cssmerciai street, up-itai.s. JOSEPH S. BACON, Lawyer & Money Broker Dec. 13, '77-tf Niles, Mich. G. W. ANDREW, J!'TrE OF THE PEACE. Office, Front St , QTer Dowey, Dofendorf & Lyle's store -.,., Afar 10-1 T. GEORGE B. SULLIVAN, rrOR.VBi , Solicitor and Counsellor. Office ir'-at room over ippenheini's Store, corner .. t rjm nt CotDiaercial streets, Dowagiae, di.hig.is janlb-73 JEWELL BROTHERS, DEN T I ST S. .11 operations warranted. Rooms 2 floor Gibbs' lilock, corner Front and Commercial SU. Office nours from 8 a. m. to 5 p. m. May 25-ly. H. S. McMASTER, PIY-J1CI i' ni i '-ou. Office and resi lM ps tie . .. funis place, corner of Uirisiea in IP "eir tne Com mercial 1 ' L. V. ROUSE, M. D. D.o, - !, -I- - .nd Children a spec i i;ij.. .(f.-r Cooper A Mother's Gro cer v, I) .. BOND HOUSE, NILES, Mich. A. McKat, Prop'r. Free Buss to and from the ears fur Guests of the House. 36-lm. T. J. MARTIN, ARBER and Hair Dresser. Shop in the basement of First National Bank, Dowagiae B DR. A. N. VAN RIPER, Coe-mHing and Operating Surgeon for Deafness, Blindnoss, and all diseases of and de formities of tne EYE and EAR. Communications by mail promptly answered. A.N. VAN RIPER, U. D.. Auj. 14-ly. Buchanan, Mich. lilt r ri Ladies i Do you want a pure, bloom ing Complexion? If so, a few applications of Hagan's MAGNOLIA BALM will grat ify you to yonr heart's con tent. It docs away with Sal lowness, Redness, Pimples, Blotches, and all diseases and imperfections of the skin. It overcomes the flushed appear ance of heat, faticne and ex citement. It makes a lady of THIRTY appear hut TWEN TY; and so natural, gradual, and nerfect are its effects. that it is impossible to detect its application. : . rOK THE CURE OF ka ii & y til k g i til AND NEURAL64A. This MIYelnQS prrpn ration liiis cured hnn drods of the toast dMnwinK oasesuf Chronic Rheumatism md Nt-uralgiu, even when all other remedies have fuiled. Jt is fast becom ing the Ackncwierjged Antidate for these il!;-r.s. s. and can be Iflied upon bj nAfen to relieve tlK-m of tl.eir pains and effect a permanent cure. "Do Hot Give Up your rn?e as hojK-'e::s and settle down to the ConTietiou lhat no m licine will help you. all we :i.sk is a fa;r trial of the Ct'llATlVE, S9m tliat you I enr in mind that the nature ot tlievo diseases reanlre pefsLvtent mm) fniiliful appli cation toiiiMire a pcrf. et cure. In every com munity. u lure the ( i KATi.VK i.a ! etTi piserd wall te found maiiy wirfTess s who will testify to what it hi.s done for U.jui Diphtheria, SorcThroat, Burns, Scalds, Bruises, Sprains. Wounds. Cuts, Chil blains, Inflammation. Headache, Tooth ache, Catarrh, Dyspepsia. Sour Stomach, can positively be enred by the free u?e of the ( vkative. Send to us for testimonials ii you have any doubts. Sold by all DriiC3ists. Price $1.00 per Bottle, 6 for S5.C0. FRfPAn0 BY Larson Chemical Co., CleTeland, 0. Larro ihv size, 50 cents. Michigan Central Railroad. MAIN LINE. Tiiti Table.-May 25, 1870. liOINQ EAST. J Mail. Chicago Leave i 7.U0um Kensington .-...j 7.50 ' Like B3PU Michigan (Jifv 9 25" New Buffalo .". I 9 4? " Three Qaks 10 02" Uuchannn 10 32 " SUesTTT 10.45 " Dowagiae 11.13 " Deeatur 11JS " Lav-:on 1 1 57 " KsJsVbbbbbM 12.33pm Galesburg 112 53 " Battle Creek I 1 28 " Marshall j 2 25 " Albion ' 2.52 " Jackson Arriwa 3.40 " J ack;"n Leave 3.-I " ' Grans Lake 4'Hi ' Ch-lsea 4.40 il Dex'er 5 00 " Ann Arbor 5 2U " Ypsilantt I 37 Wayne Junction G 01 " Grand Trunk Junction I 6 33 " Detroit Arrive' 6.4Spm Kal. ! JNlght Aecom. lExjiress 4 00pm 9.10m .M " j 10.00 " 5 42 1 ; 10.43" 6.35 - 6 55'- 7 08" 7.35" 8 05" 8.33 " 8.57 " 9.15 " 9 50pm 11 30" 11.52' 12 4am 1 16" 1.40 " 1.57 - 2 28 " 3.18" J'elu'aj 3 46 " 4.12 " 4 55 ,; 6.00 " 5 25 " 5.5U " 6.05 6.25 " 6.41 " 7.05 " 7.45 " 3.00am V.l Sun. 7.38 " 8 02 " P.16 " 8.45 " 9 00" 9 23 ' 9 55 " 10.10m GOING WEST. 'Mail j'Jc'ks'njtEve'g :Express.jE.vprc8s Detroit ; w . v. Le ivc Granu Trrrnk Juhetfor; TTayne Junction Ypilanti Ann Arbor IextiT its application. i 7:0 'am. 'r.bopUM 7:15 " 1 rirlO " 1 8r?5 i 7:o2 " I 6:42 " 8:57 " ; &20" i 7:05 " 9:22" I 8:10 " 7:35 " 9:38" 9:04 1 t 7:56 " Ml I 0.')0 I Q.l 1 11 in.lKH Grass Lake ) Jackson rrive Jackson Leave. Albion . . i it. t . Marshall Battle Creek, i I Lalesburg ,' Kalamazoo Lawtnn 9:50 1 j 8r35'- 10:38" 10:H" 9:00pm 11:09" 10:20" 11:15" 11:04 11:59 " I1:S0 ! 12:25 " I2:!9wn 12:50" ,1.5a Acsn. 1,20am 1:15 " 5 Oam I 1:3S ' 1:3 " 5:33 " ! 2:13" Decatur 1 . . . . Dowagiao Niles Buchinan Three Oaks New Buffalo Michigan City Lake K'-nsiniton Cnicago Arrive (J IAN!' RAPIDS A KALAMAZOO EXPRESS Leaves D.-tr.it 130 p. in., arriving at Grand Rapids 9 20 p. m and K;; lain zoo S.40 p m. RETURNING, Leaves Grand Rnpids 6.15 a m. and Kalamazoo 6 50 a. 1.1., arriving at Detroit 1 1.45 a. in. Sunday excepted. Saturday and Sunday ex cepted. Hksuy C. Wi ntv, ortii, IT. B. Ledyarp. G. P. i X. A., Chicago G eSrl Mang'r, Detroit. Day Express,(don't stop) carrieymail 12:37 p. m. Day Exjiress. (don't stop) carries mail 3:43 p. m. WILLIS ARGABRIGHT, Ag't Mall going East close? at 12:07; going West at 3:13. Night mail each way closes at 1 o'clock Bucklen's Arnica Salve. The Best Salvb in the world for Cuts, Brui-es. S h ps. Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Tetter, Chapped II amis. Chilblains, Corns, and all kinds of Skin Eruptions. This Salve is guar anteed to give perfect satisfaction in every case or money refunded. Price 25 Cents per Box. For sal at SberwooJ's Drug Store. Dec.l8tb. 8in. 2:10" 5:50" 2:31 " 2:35 " 6:12" 2:57" 3:05" 6:55" 3:30" 3:19" 707" 3:45" 3 49 " 7.32" 0 00" 4:03" 7:45" 4:27" 4:30" F.-10" 4:55" Bilfr Bt63 " 1 5:45" 6:00 " 9:40 " 6;40 " G:30pm 110:30am! 7:30am OTHER MEN- The Golden preoepts ot our God, The thorny path our Christ hath trod, Seem meant for o:her men, The pulpit, in its eloquence, Fels every word that drops from thence Is meant for other men. The siu it sees, the crimes unseen The outcast soul, the wretched mean, Are all of other men. And so from pulpit dowu it goes The list of sins our paper shows Are deeds 01 other men. And all good Christians as they read Rest safely in their chosen creed, And sigh for other men "God save those souls; but as to ours, We do not fear tha threatening powers Which conquer other men." And yct, oh reader, search yonr heart, Anil seo how littlo 'lis apart From those of other men. How much of strength is duo to chance The happening of a cireumstance To you and other men. In prosperous days you fear no fall; But tickle fortune changes nil For you aud other men. Oh, how much better it would be If you could only only see Yourself as other men. See all your meanness, and how small At best you are, and. after all, How lik 0 those othor men. WHICH WAS EIGHT ? BY LOUIS STOCKTON. "That is a most nonsensical thine to say," Jim remarked, as Belle held the motto she was working oft' at arm's length, and gazed reflectively at it. "W hen there's a will there's a way!' If it was true, how many good things I would have!" "Perhaps you would," replied his younger brother Bob, "if the proverb meant that the way was ready made, and all you had to, do was to saunter down it up it, I mean." "If it does not mean that," said Jim, "it ought to read, 'When there's a will, go look lor the way, aud it is ten chances to one if you find it." That is stuff! exclaimed Bob; you don't fancy the will and the way are like the Siamese twins, fastened to gether, so if you see one you see the other? It means, said Belle, who had now decided upon the color of the silk she needed, and who spoke with the air of gravity becoming an elder sis tor of seventeeiij that if you have i!ie yuii v'ou miiai iouK tor me game. "Suppose there is none?" asked Jim. "Is none!" Bob repeated; there is always game! There may not be a buffalo upon your front door steps waiting for you to come out, but just take your gun and go to iho West! You'll fin A him there! That is ail very nice to say, and Jim, who was lying on the lounge, clasped his hands under his head; but my experience of this lamily it may be different in others is. that we are always wishing, but I don't see that it does any good; we don't get much. "It isn't wishing,'1' Belle sid, "it is ic illing. That is a very different thing." "Is it?" Jim asked. "Perhaps it is a step further; T wish' comes first; 'I will goes on to the war, and gets the booty." "Exactly so, Jim, I have hopes of you," said Bob. "But what I would like," answered Jim, is to see tho thing. Who is it who will first 'will' and then find the 'way?' "As if everybody did not! and Bob looked the picture of determina tion, yon doit yourself, often." "Oh, I do not mean in little things. Somethiug of importance, some great deed!" "Then you must get great people for them, replied Belle. Yon don't suppose great things are done in Cedar Creek? Now there's Napoleon Bonaparte " "Where?" said Bob, craning his head so as to look out of the win dow. "Don't be silly!" aud Belle contin ued, don't you suppose he would be Emperor of France?" "He was a great man, replied Jim. I mean ordinary peeple Cedar Creek heroes." "It is just as true for them, Bb said, only they must wish for ordin ary things. Neither of us, my boy will ever be an emperor of France." "Well, and Jim set up; now let us settle this matter. You say whore there's a will there's a way you and Belle. I say there isn't, not often. Now, you make up your mind to do something particular, and find the way to do it. If you succeed, I'll give up; and if you do not, Belle can give me that motto for my room; for, although it isn't true, it's very pret ty'' "And Bob, I suppose, said Belle, can pay his forfeit by framing it." "You speak words of wisdom," answered Jim with gravity. "That is a very nice arrangement, Bob exclaimed; I do all the work, and if I fail you get all the reward. Sup pose I succeed, what will I get?" " l ne reward ot a good conscience. answered Jim with gravity. "You must make up your mind to work for something that itself will be a reward, if you get it, Belle said. That is tho way those great people do; it isn't getting thiflgs for other people. "Yes, it is," Bob replied. "Now, there was Dorothea Dix, Papa was telling us only last night about her. She could have had a very good time, I suppose, if she had been contented to stay at home, but she found how dreadfully the insane feople were treated in the hospitaU and alms houses, and just think hw she trav eled about it! She went to the places and saw for herself how they were pnt into horrid colls, that they were chained, starved and beaten, and she didn't go home, and eiy what a shame it was, and somebody ought to see that things were made better. Not she! She went right to the peo ple who had the power to jnake it better, and bhe told theft how things wore, aud not off in Poland, either, but under their very nose, and she told them that they weae the people to make it better." "Yes," and Belle's ey lighted np, "and wheu theylffawtirn't their fault, but tho law's, she frent t the Legislature and told the men there. I think it must have been very hard, for first )o had to interest them and prove it all, and then get thera to work to alter the laws," "And such men, said Bob scornful ly, mere politicians!'' "There, now!" said Jim, "there is one of the things that cottld be done! I remember once that papa was com plaining about some man who was to Congress, and grandpa said: Now, Robert, thee make it thy business to see that a good man goes the next time. Thee didn't take aHy pains to keep this one from going, and thee has no right to eomflain I never forgot that. i "Well!" said Belle with an air of much experience, I don't 6eo why politicians should be such horrid peo ple. I am sure Mr. Graham is a very nice man. "Ot course he is, said Bob; but you don't think all the men Miss Dix had to speak to were like him?" "She didn't care for men, Bob, re plied Belle; all she thought about was the crazy people, aud even if the men she had to convince were not like Mr. Graham, they had hearts." "What I would like to do," Jim said, relleG'.ively, "would be my own work. I wouldn't want to make speeches, and persuade, an 1 all that. I would like to sit at home and write great books, or paint wonderful pic tures; and I'd send them one. I would &iay at h o ;uc 'isjfrli lr Kr"'' .a pi-.;.if "You are l.tzy, Jim; trfSt Ts what's the matter with you, and Bob walked to the other window. You think that would be easy, but yon would have to work just a9 hard, and yon would care just as much what the world would say." Maybe I would, answered Jim, but I wouldn' have to push myself; ray picture or my book wouldn't care. I tell you who I think was a hero, said Belle, Beethoven for he could not know what his work was like. If you painted a picture you could sec it, and it you wrote a book you could tea-? it; but he went on com posing music, busy all day; thinking of flutes and violiu.s, and singing voices, and he could never hear one tune. And, then he knew it was good. There was no use in neglect ing him, he never gave up; he felt it was his business to write music and he did it, I would have given up, said Jim. I don't see why he didn't. There would have been enough excuse for him. "Excuse!" cried Belle in scorn, as if he wanted to be excused! -He meant to write, aud he wouldn't let any thing hinder him. He made a way. What surprises me, said Jim, tis that Bob hasn't said, a word about Benjamin Franklin yet. I Jiever be fore heard him speak of heroes for five minutes without saying some thing of him. "I thought of him, said Bob, and I remembered oue of the best things that he ever did. You know he talked and talked about paving the Philadelphia streets, and nobody saw any use in it, even when the mud was so thick that the wagons stuck fast, and people couldn't get over without getting knee-deep. Then don't yori know how he stopped talking, and paved in front ot his own house, and then the people began to cross there, and so after awhile somebody else paved another piece, and they began to see that it would be a good thing to pave the whole street. That is what I call finding a way." "The trouble is, said Belle. We don't make up our minds to what we want. We just go along and take whatever we get, and we don't de cide that we want something else, aud mean to get it. We just wish for it." Now, see here, said Jim, do you think the Leewellyns are any smart er than we are? that Mr. Leewellyn is a wiser man than papa?" 'Of course not," replied Bob, with indignation. "Woll,this is certain in the Lee- wellyn family there are ever so many distinguished people." "Not any more so than papa. I am sure everybody knows him." "les, but they don t know uncle George, nr uncle Irwin. But all the Leewellyns are judges or gener als or something." "Because it is the fashion in the family, said Belle; they have to do something. It is expected t them." "And they help each other, Jim said. It is very well to have a dis tinguished father, but suppose all your uncles and cousins are at the top of the ladder, too; don't you suppose they would help you up?" 'I don't want such help, said Bob, I would rather depend on myself. But I tell you this, Jim; if we three were to make up our minds that we would not be nobodies all our lives, don't you think we would find the way to be somebodies?" "Good or bad?" asked Jim. "Good! I don't mean that we would be rascals; but that we would be honorable and useful, and when we died, people would miss us, and be sorry to lose us. Dou't you be lieve we could do it?" "Would it be much trouble?" in quired Jim. "Yes, it would. Plenty of trouble and hard work, replied Bob, stoutly; mat wouia ne 'tne way.' uut we are bound to have trouble, I suppose everybody says so, and so we might as well make up our minds to it; but we also might as well get some good out of it" "Now isn't he wise! said Jim, wise beyond his years!" "I don't care, said Belle, about be ing anything wonderful, or having a famous name; but I do think it would be worth while to have some kind of an object." "Haven't we? asked Jim. I know I have plenty of objects." "Yes, but what do they amount to? Belle replied. I dou't think it neces sary to do great things; but suppose suppose I was to make up my mind that the Carey girls were to have all the sewing they need this winter, I could do it." "I think it would be a very un necessary thing to do, said Jim. I am sure they ought to do that lor themselves. They are ever so much older than you are." "That makes no difference, said Belle; they need the work, and they can sew better than most women. 1 know mamma thinks so. But they can not go and ask for it, as I could. Last week Madge Carey told me that Mrs. Harold had sent to New York for a dressmaker, and of course .-he could say nothing, but I could have boggud Mrs. Harold to try Madge. I know she would like her." "Madge ought to ask for herself," paMlBsst Jim. "LiUt 11 site Uou't I can. Tlmie 18 no harm in it, and mamma says that when they are once known there will be no trouble in their getting work. You must remember they never ex pected all this poverty and trouble, and if they do not know how to man age they can not be blamed. I think I will try." "Is there anything you would like me to do? ' "Yes, there is, said Bob. Y"ou ought to help papa to catalogue his books. He said he would have to hire some one, and I know you could help him." "It is a great deed I want, Robert, said Jim; I burn for glory! I want to start at once upon a brilliant career." Bob looked at his brother. "I think, said he, slowly, that I will make a good French scholar of ruy stdf." "What special good will lhat do you?" aked Jim. "I don't know said Bob, but I have a good chance just now. I am sure that this is what old Ben Frank lin would have done made the most of the chances of to-day." "Robert! said Jim, solemnly. Y'ou are a credit to your family. I am afraid you will be of some accouut in the world!" aud with that Jim got up and left the room, while Bob seized his hat and was off to the orchard, where he saw his mother gathering harvest apples. Christian Union. Anecdote of Ben- Bntlor. Ben. Butler was called on by a person who wauted to have a talk with hitfti Mr. Butler, said he, one of my neighbor's cows jumped my garden gate last night and completely de stroyed my flower beds. The gate was of the height required by law, and was closed. Now I wish to know whether I can obtaru damages? Most assuredly, replied the wid ow's friend. Well, Mr. Butler, how much. Oh! about ten dollars, But Mr. Butler, triumphantly, the cow was yours. Ah! said Mr. Butler, thoughtfully; and he looked unutterable things out of his bad eye. Then he turned to his desk, scratched off a lew lines on a piece of paper and handed it to the visitor. It was in the form of an ac count, and read as follows: B. F. Butler to Mr. , Dr: To damages caused by cow, $10; by legal advice Cr, 815; balance due me, 85. Mr. , said Mr. Butler, softly you needn't hurry about the payment. We are firm believers in the max im that, tor all right judgment of any man or thing, it is useful, nay, essen tial, to see his good qualities before pronouncing on his bad. Carlyle. ssMs What I admire in Columbus is not his having discovered a world, but his having gone to search for it on the faith of an opinion. Tar-got. That Barrel. Just as the last rays of the setting 'sun were gilding the church 6pires aud whitewashing the back kitchens I of Detroit the other afternoon a man and a barrel were discovered at a stairway on Monroe avenuo. Ho ! was a small man and it was a big i barrel, and pedestrians who saw him looking up the stairs and back at the barrel inferred that it was his inten tion to elevate it to the third story. but how? "I'd rig a tackle and pulley in that third story window," said the first man that halted. "That's your easi est way, and there's no danger of ac cident," He leaned against the lamp-post to calculate on the length of rope and the lifting power required, and along came a second man who took in tho situation at a glance and said: "Go and get some scantlings four teen feet long and lay 'em on tho stairs. Then two men can roll that barrel up there as slick as grease." The little man looked around in a helpless sort of a way, and a third came blustering up and called out: "Want to get that barrel up stairs, eh? Well, now, fasten your pulley at tho head of the stairs, and ten men down here can snake the barrel up in no time. Where's your tackle?" By this time the crowd had increas ed to twenty; and was pretty evenly divided between a dead lift through one of tho front windows and a pul ley at the top of the stairs, but the man who suggested the 6kids had a very loud voice and was determined to carry his point. Taking his coat off, ho said: "I know what I'm talking about, and I say that I can skid that barrel up there alone. Yrou just wait a min ute." He crossed the street to an unfin ished building, and returned with a couple of 2x4 scantlings and laid them on the stairs, and the crowd now numbered fifty. "You want this barrel on the third floor, do you?" he asked of the little man. "Yes, but but ." "But what?" "Why, I was waiting for my wife to get the clothes-horse out of the upper hall. She's all ready now, and I'll take it up." And the little man shouldered the tarrol aud Vl'Olieft WieUly tip Rtail'ft between the skids. It waseuiftj' .' Detroit Free Press. He Didn't Want to Get Rich. Mr. Canfield wanted to have a lit tle talk with his grocer a morning or so ago. He began as follows: "I bought a quart of cider here the other day." "Was it good?" "Yes, sir; it was first-class, and I measured it, too." "Was it all right?"' inquired tho dealer, turning a little red in the face. "No, sir; the measure was wrong. You gave me a little too much about a cupful over. And then the other day I got a pound of coffee here. I took that home, and weigh ed it, too." "How much did it weigh, sir?" "Just a pound to a hair. I also or dered a peck of potatoes yesterday. I measured them, and what do you think?" "I don't know, I'm sure,'' said the grocer, breathlessly. "There was exactly a peck. Y"ou have made but one mistake since I have been dealing with you. The week before last, when I ordered a mackerel, yon sent me two stuck to gether." "I never mako mistakes in my own favor" murmured the grocer, as ho rubbed bis hands together, and chuckled with pleasure. "I know you don't; I know you don't; and that's where you make a fool of yourself. I have noticed all along that ycu are perfectly square, so I thought I'd just step down and give you some good advice before you ruin yoursell and family. If you are or pretend to be a business man, and want to make money, you must reform; turn over a new leaf; convert yourself to the system of giving short weight. You'd like to live in a snowy cottage, with lilac bushes in side tho fence and a cast iron repre sentation of Dolores squirting crysta line gems up in the air, wouldn't you?' "Indeed I should, sir." "And wouldn't you like to dress your wife in style, have a carriage for her, and euable your daughters to be-educated in Europe and marry counts, and send your son to college and make a paragrapher of him, eh?" "That would be nice." "Well, it is in your power to do these things. You may as well as not hold your head up like a Con gressman. Now, I have an agency lor false weights; fourteen ounce pie ces are marked two pounds, and oth er weights in proprotion, and I should like to supply you on condi tion that you won't use them in mak ing up my things." "I don't think I care for any to day, sir." "None to-day ! None to day ! Here I come and offer to prostrate you with wealth and happiness, and you won't allow me to ! Throwing away a golden opportunity when it is rammed right under your nose. Good morning, I have no more time to waste; good morning." Then he stepped out. ALL SORTS. A short paragraph this one. A literary spittoon the waste basket. Let us be thankful that we live, move and have our potatoes. What most newspapers suffer from about this time of year Uumor-tism. To a newspaper man three lines of a naws item is worth a barrel of poe try. Sweet girls Mo lasses. Sharp girls Cut-lasses. (The editor trusts these are not fal-lasses ) Tha bald headfid nftriorranrir f the Courier-Journal says "it is the steam from the brain that makes men bald." There are too many men trying to solve the problem of how to live without work, aud this is what keeps up hard times. If dates are left out ef marriage of death notices by tho w riters, should not the compositor be expected to insert tho right date? "Solid brevier !'' shouted the fore man, and the heart of ye poor typo went down into his boots. Y'ea, verily, to his innermost sole. The Czar is accompanied by Su- waroff. We have heard of the latter frequently about the 1st of Jauuary, but never saw Inni in tho flesh. A handsome youth being ques tioned by a rather stylish lady as to his occupation, replied that he was "an adjuster of movable alphabets." He was a printer. People who seldom road newspa pers are spared ' at least ono mortifi cation. I hey have no idea how fre quently they make fools of them selves in conversation. A St. Joe. editor had an article headed, "What is it we drink?:' aud a rival editor went over to the near est saloon and ascertained that is was usually the clear corn juice. The woman who put her tongue to a hot flat "iron to see if it was hot, how sits calmly and eecs her husband pull off his dirty boots on the parlor carpet without a word of dissent. Some men can sit on a candle box and lay out the Europeon campaign and tell almost everything thatie to occur in the future, except where tneir next atrmer is to come from. Sainte Beuve says, "In every man there is a poet who dies young." The editor's waste basket indicates that the man doesn't koow the poet is dead, and keeps on with his nonsense. Rhode Island has a satin quilt over ono hundred and ninety years old. Think of the thousands and thousands of curtain lectures and recriminations it has been a witness to, etc., etc. How much more bitter than worm wood and gall it is, when you at tempt to k that is to press your girl's head close to your own, to be jabbed in the ear by the pin that holds her hat on. The editor of a Virginia paper was asked by a stranger, "if it were poss ible that little town kept up four newspapers?" And the reply was: "No; it takes four newspapers to keep up the lown." The Markham Economist says: "We are a puzzled editor." So are we, Bro. Corson, and from the same cause aityourselv, viz: "to know why in thunder people don't pay up their subscriptions." Aunty Wr ell, love, did Mr. M'Sil ler propose? Edith No, aunty; but ho was on the verge of it when Aunty When what, darling? Edith When the clock struck and re minded him that there was only just time to catch tho last cheap train, and he had a return ticket. An Irish waiter at a Christmas gathering complimented a turkey in the following manner: "Faith, it's not six hours since that turkey was walking around his real estate with hands in his pockets, never dhraming what a purty invitashun he'd have to jine yees gintlemen at dinner." An unlucky Irishman was once im prisoned for an infraction of the law. His faithful wife visited him and found him greatly cast down. With the intention of cheering him up, she said: "Arrah, be aisy, Faddy; ehure ye'll have an upright jedge to tbry ye, anyway." "Ah. Biddy," he groan ed, ''the divil an upright jedge I want; 'tis wan that'll lane a little." A lady dropping her handkerchief on Winter street the other day, La diemann's quick eye caught the flut ter of the dainty thing as it fell to the walk. Quick as thought he had pounced upon it, and with doffed hat and his sweetest smile he approach ed the unknown fair with "Madame, your band ." He got no further. It was only Mrs. L., disguised in an other new suit. Seizing the cambric as a cat would a mouse, she gave La dismann a look eloquent of scorn and Gontempt, remarking, "Don't stand there grinning like a 6ick monkey, John Anderson; and you'd better put on your hat before you get cold. People at your time of life, and bald headed at that, should be careful how they expose themselves." Strange that some women cannot bear to have their husbands gallant to the sex.