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THEE (GMANB MAYEN NEWS;
Ofliume I . 2T n m Ir t r 16.
tinn Jlabtn, JM(.t 3pril 13, 1850;
trms: Sl.OOf ptr glnnuw.
THE GflANU IHAVEJf HEW 8.
Publihed every Wednesday,
" H"V BABNB &c FOSHA.
TtRKi: 0 POU-A Ml TEA l ADVABCC.
$ 1 60 when lt-rt by the Carrier, -ii X
Office, on Washington Street,
( lonr tturj, rxw.'s Pvt-Ojpc,)
Grund Haven, Ottawa Co., Michigau.
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BARNS A FOSHA, rtBMaua.
BUSINESS DIREOTORY.
S. R.Sanford, Sheriff of Ottawa Co.,
Murkcgon, Mich.
James P. Scott, Clerk and Register
of Ottawa County, aud Notary Public Office
at the Court House.
George Parks, Tit-usurer of Ottawa
County, Grand Haven, Mich.
Augustus W. Taylor, Judge of
Probate, Ottawa County. Post-Office addreM
Ottawa Center. Court days, First and Third
Mondavs of each Month.
J. D. Vandervoort, Justice of tlio
Teace and Land A cent. Office in hi new build
ing, opMiite the Tort-Office, Washington St-,
Grand Haven, Mich.
James Sawyer, County Surveyor.
Port-Office Address j Eastinanrile, OtUwa
County, Micb.
Wm. II. Parks, Attorney aud Coun
selor at Law, Office on Washington 6treet,p.
ponite 1st Cong. Church.
Atwood & Akelcy, Counselor at
Law, Oraee,2nd. door above the New a OrricK,
Washington Street, Grand Haven, Mich.
Grosvenor Reed, Attorney and
Counselor at Law, and Solicitor in Chancery.
Office, Washington street, first door East of
the Hardware store.
J. B. MoNett, IMiysician anl Surgeon.
Ofuce,'cond dor above Nr.ws Orricit, Wash
ington Street, Grand Haven. Mich.
S. Munroe, Physician and Surgeon.
Office at hit residence, Washington street,
Grand Haven, Mich.
Henry Griffin, Druggist, Commis-
sion Merchant and General Agent. Corner of
Washington ami 1st Street..
Wm. M. Ferry Jr.. Manufacturer
of Stationary and Marine, fiijrh or low press
ure Engines, Mill Gearing, Iron and Brass
Castings, Ottawa Iron Works, Ferryisburg,
Ottawa Co., Mich. Post-Office address, Grand
Haven. Mich.
John II. Newcomb, Dealer in Dry
Good, Groceries, Provisions, Crockery, Hard
ware, Roots and Shoes, etc. State Street,
Mill Point, Mich.
vision Merchant. One Joor below the Post
Office, Washington Street.
Cutler.Warts & Stedgman,' Deal
ers in General Merchandise, Pork, Flour, Salt,
Grain, Lnmber, Shingles aud Lath. Water St.,
Grand Haven, Mich.
Rhodes & Co., Wholesale and Retail
Grocers, Provision and Feed Dealers, First
Street, Grand Haven.
Noah Perkins, Dealer in Dry Goods,
Groceries, Provisions, Crockery, Hardware,
Hoots ud Shoes. tc. '"-ite the ('re of
J. 11. Newcomb, State st Mill Point. Mich.
Jas. Patterson, Dealer in Newspa
pers, Periodical. School Hooks, Stationery;
aUo Detroit Iinilics and Weeklies, Yankee
Notions, Tobacco, Cigars, Candies, Nuts, Ac.
First door below Griffin's Drug Store, Wash
ington Street.
J. T. Davis, Merchant Tailor, Dealer
in Gents Furnishing Goods, Broadcloths, Cas
timeres, Vectings. it. Shop, Washington St.
next door to the Drajr Store.
J. & F. W. Fechheimer, Merchant
Tailors. Dealers in Kcady-Made Clothing and
Gents Furnishing Goods, Broadcloths, Cassi
mercs, Vesting. Ac. At the Poet-Office, Wah
ington Street, Grand Haven.
Porters & Mathison, Manufjictur-
ers of and Dealers in Clothing Goods. No. 16,
Canal Street, Grand Ruplds, Mich.
Ferry & Co., Manufacturers of Lum
ber, Lath, Timber, Picket, it., and Dealers
In all kinds of Merchandise, Provisions, Shin
gle Bolts and Shingles. Ferrjsvillc, White
Ric, Mich.
Ferrv &. Ton. Manufacturers and
Wholesale nd Retail Dealers in Lum1er,Shin
elcs. Itth, Pi kcts, Timber 1c. Business Of
fices, Water Street, Graud Haven, Mich., and
230, Adams Street, Chicago, JIU
Boot & Shoo Manufacturing and Re-
peiring Shop, (up stairs.) over Wallace's
fctore. Washington Street, (lroil Haven.
S. Kixskt, Foreman. R. C. FOSHA.
Robinson & Co., Milliard Saloon, (up
s'irs, j second uoor hast or tbo Ottawa liou.-e,
ater Street, Grand Haven, Mkh.
AVATCH, WATCH, M0TllF.IL
Sier! waUh the little feet,
Climbing ever the garden wall,
Bounding through tLe busy street,
Ranging cellar, sited and hall.
Never count the moments lost,
Never mind the time it costs,
Little feet will go astray,
' Ouide them, mother, while yon may.
Mother! watch the little hand
Ticking berries by the way,
Making houses in the aand,
Tossing up the fragrant hay.
Never dare the question ask,
Wby to me this weary ta.-k ?"
These same little hands nay prove
Messengers of light and love.
Mother! watch the little tongue
Prattling eloquent and wild,
What is said, and what is sung
By the happy, Joyous child.
Catch the word whiUt yet unspoken,
Stop the vow before 'tis broken
This same tongue may yet proclaim
Blessings in a Saviour's name.
Mother! watch the little heart
Beating soft and warm for you
Wholesome lessons now impart ;
ICeip, 0 keep that young heart true.
Extricating every weed.
Sow ing good and precious cH
Harvest rich you then may tee.
Ripening for eternity.
TWO PICTURES.
Mairprio, dear, put down your work
now and bring in some wood for a good
fire, t is tive o'clock, and father and
Thomas will soou be here, and il is so
coldr
44 Oh! yes, mother, in a minute; I Lave
just one inch more to sow."
" Can t you milk to night too I '
M To lo sure, I can.
"Well, now, that's a good girl; you
know Thomas will have to take care of
the horses and feed the slock, and a doz
en other things."
" Oh I I know, and ho will Ikj cold and
hungry and tired."
" es, for he always ay$ he would
rather work hard on the farm, than go to
tow n to market."
" Well, now, let's soo wliat I can do; I
can make up the fire, and bring in the
wood and chit for night, and milk the
cow, and feed Ute lambs. Oh 1 1 do like
to feed the bheep and the lambs, the
nibblo the corn out cf my band rx queer
with their little warm tongues, Ac"
" You can throw the corn over to the
pigs in the pen."
"So I will."
"What clsoP
' '". " You help me to think."
Put the oats in tho trough for Ned
and Iiilly."
"Just the measure full I heard lath
er say so."
" Aud you can pump the water for
them too."
" Yes and throw down the hay."
" Oh 1 I'm so glad, so glad," and aw ay
bounded Maggie, to tho woudhoose on
f-et as fpry as a kitten for kitty ran
w ith her, and a fine race they had, Mag
gie beating.
"Now kilty (said Maggie), what a
good-for-nothing puss you are; you can
run and get in my way, but you can't
carry a chip or stick." Just then Maggie
tumbled down a few fc ticks, when out
popped a small rat which kitty secured
in an instant Maggie clapped her hands
w ith glee I
"Oh! miss puss, you are good for
something; that old rat would have been
eating old Sukey's corn to night ; now
you shnll have soino nice new milk, so
you shall." And away they ran Mag
gie with her 'wood fur tho fire, and Kitty
to hhow her rat to tho household.
Tho firo was roou fino, the cow milked,
the pigs fed, the sheep and lambs taken
care of, tho oats measured out, tho water
ing trough filled, and Magsie stood jon
dcrjng what to do next, when she heard
the crack of Thomas' whip, aud his cheer
ful " Whoa hon Dill, gee-up Ned," com
ing up the lane, and away she flew w ith
nimble feet to open tho gate to let them
in.
" Oh ! Maggie, is that you T shouted
Tom " you'ro tho girl for my money 1"
" Aro you cold Tom P
" I rather guess I am ; my fingers aro
as stiff as pegs."
" Oh t father, there you are."
" Got a good fire, darling !" said the
man of gray hairs as they came through
tho gate.
" Wait till you get in, papa, and see,"
said Maggio as sho jumped tip and down
to keep warm, and seizing tho mittened
hand in hers as soon as his feet touched
the grouud.
"That is nice," 6aid tho farmer, "I
declaro I don't believe everybody comes
back home to such a good fire, do you
Maggio r
" May be everybody has not daughters
to build them," answered Maggie.
" Guess pot," said father, as he drew
her to his side, and put his arm around
her waist
" Sit down Tom, and warm a little,
and then I'll go out with you and help
fodder. I declare, mother, your supper
smellj good."
So they w armed and tnlkod, and all
the time Magje'a eyes were dancing w ith
deli-ht thinking of' the surprise that
awatted her father and brother.
I dou't ee, mother, but I bhall liavo
to hire a boy," said Mr. Harlow, "I am
getting old, I find, and when I've been
out all day, its hard work to feed and rub
down the horses, and tako caro of the
sheep; and it's now lime that Tom was
eatiDg his supper, so as to be off to his
writing school."
Maggie had nol thought of that, and a
new glow of pleauro spread over her
good kind face.
" 1 w ill hurry," canl Tom. " You
need not go out again to nij;ht ; and Tom
started for the door. "liurrah! here
who brought in the woudr
Maggie laughed.
" DJess her Jittlo heart," said the falh
er, w ith a tear glistening iu his eye, as he
roeo stiffly and prejinred to go out to help
Tom w ith tho chores.
"Now, lather," said Maggie, putting
her two arms round his neck and putting
him down, " let me tell you, you must
not go out once more in this cold night"
" Dut, pussy, I must go aud help your
brother, it will tako him an hour and a
half to do it all, and then ho w ill bo too
lato you know."
" Oh 1 no, it won't, father, only lake
him fifteen minutes."
" Not to pump tho w ater f and "
" The w ater is pumjiod ;" and sho gave
her father a kiss.
" And focd tho sheep P
" Tho sheep are fed ; ' another kiss.
" And throw down tho hay fur the
horses P
"The hay is down;" and father gave
Maggio a kiss.
" And feed tho pigs! T
" Tho pigs aro fed, and tho oats aro iu
tho trough for Ned and Dill; so now,
dear father, let Tom do tho rest."
"Hurrah I hurrah 1" shouted Tom again.
" A perfect Tom boy' our Maggie is."
" A perfect Tom a boy more like,"
answered Maggie with a pouting lip.
But I did not do it all for you. I did it
so that papa would not have to go out in
tho cold any more ; and I wonder if girls
that hare hands and feet can't do good
things just as well as boys, and not be call
ed 4 Tom boys' either."
"You're worth half a dozen boys,
Maggie, and when I sell my rabbit skins,
I'll get you tho prettiest fur tippet in
town, as white as now." Ana away
went Tom whistling as happy as a king,
while Mr. Harlow drew w little daughter
nearer to him and rested his white iiairs
against her qukk beating heart, as she
stood by his sido. He did not speak, but
Maggie knew ho was happy.
riCTCRS ix. .
"Susie, lay by that LeJyer, and go
out and bring iu some chips to start up
tho fire,"
. " Goodness I gracious 1 a lody can't read
a miuuto without being told to do some
thing or anotlier."
" Why, Susie, you've been reading au
liour."
" Taint leu minutes, and 'taint a girl's
business no how, to bo building fires."
And Susio did not stir from her book,
though the fire was low and the evening
cold and 6tormy.
The father came in stiff and wet ; ho
had been hard at work all tho afternoon.
John was with him both wero tired.
But there was no good firo to sit down
by, so John only hung his great coat up
by tho door aud turned round and wont
out to gel wood. The father held his
dripping feet out over tho almost dead
embers, and looked sadly at his daughter.
" Suaie," said he, " it seems to mo you
ought to keep up better fires such a day
as this. Joliu is really tired, and its hard
for him to work all day aud then have
all these chores to do; and your mother
ought to be helped too."
"I'm sure il won't tako long to bring
in a little wood," she answered, pettishly,
daslung away tho newspaper, for it was
now dark.
" Oh, no, not long, but ho is wet and
cold, and a good firo to como to is com
fortable. You aro most fourteen years
old now, and ought to be thiukiug about
something useful, and see to some of these
things without being told."
" I wonder if I don't"
"lhoposo."
Tho father looked into tho ashes and
said no more. Mother was busy as sho
could be in tho kitchen, fixing things for
supper, and tho weary man and boy milk
ed and fed tho stock, and took care of the
horses, and brought in tho night's wood,
aud an hour liad nearly elapsed ere either
could sit dow n to supjer.
" Aro you not going to writing school
to night P asked tho mother, as John sat
down in tho corner after suptxr. .
" No, ma'am," answered John, " I am
so cold and tired that I shako all over; I
could not draw a straight lino if I bho'ld
try."
"Who'll go with meP exclaimed Su
sie, frightened at the idea of missing tho
sjort of tho evening.
" I shall not," was the reply, and the
boy's head drooped, and the tears dropped
from his eyes as ho shaded them with his
w eary hand.
'ill's no use for mo ever to try to do
am thing," said John. " I have lost three
nights now. If Susie would help me a
little as Maggio Harlow does for Tom, I
might get oti, and thcu wo might both
learn something."
Susie cried all tho evening because she
was " spited." Mr. Seannotl was sad
and grieved, and John w as fast learning
to think women folks were selfish, while
the mother silently wished that the girls
now days w ere as they used to be w heu
sho was young. Susie did not help her
wash tho dishes or darn tho socks, so she
worked ou till nine o'clock alone.
. How much pleasure ono willing, geuer
ous heart can make! How much sorrow
and gloom one selfish, idle spirit can scatter!
A WORD TO BOYS.
Who is respected ! It is the boyi who
couducts himself well, who is honest, dil
ligent, and obedient in all things. It is
tho boy who is making an effort contin
ually to respec t hw father, and to oley
him, whatever ho may direct to be done.
It is the boy who leaves no effort un
tried to improve himself in knowledge and
wisdom every day, who is busy and ac
tivo in eudeavoring to do good acts to
wards others. Show mo a boy who
obeys his arcnls, whois dilligent who
resjsects age, who always has a friendly
disposition, and w ho applies himself dilli
gcntly to gej wisdom, and to do good to
wards others; and, if ho is nol restated
and beloved by every liody, then there is
no such thing as truth in this world.
ltememler this, boys, and you will le ro
upocted by others, aud grow up and bo
come useful men.
SLEEP.
Six or scvon hours of every day, men
aro breathing corses; the faeo discharges
expressions; the brain gives up thiuking;
life lias gone; only the animal lies there,
pulsating breathing, snoring helpless as
an infant unnoticed as a statue; all
gone, all vacant, empty, useless. Look
ed at without educated associations, there
is no difference in a man in bed and a
man in a coffin.
And yet, such is tho pow er of the heatt
to redeem animal life, and clothe all rude
and uncommon things with its own loaf
bearing branches, that there is nothing
more exquisite, refined, and pure, and
beautiful than the chandler of tlie house.
Sleep it has sprouted up with all tho
flowers of tho poets. The coucli from
the day lhal tho bride sanctities it to the
day tliat tho nged mother is borne from
it stands clothed with dignity and beau
ty. Cursed bo the tongue that daro
speak evil of the household -bed. By its
skIo oscillates the cradle not far from it
is tlio crib. In this sacred precinct, Ihe
mother's chamber, lies tho heart of the
family. Hero tho child learns its pray
ers. Hither, night by night
In Good Taste. The Navy IX jurt
ment w ill certainly receive credit for the
god tate it has exhibited in naming tho
vessels w hich aro now in process of con
struction at tho different navy yards.
To each of them has been given a name
preservative of tho old Indian titles of the
land, which arc so appropriate to matters
so jieculiarly American as our vessvis-of-w
ar. Tho ono building at Portsmouth is
to bo called tho Mohican; that at Bos
ton, the Xarragaiiitctl ; that at Brooklyn,
the Irotjuoi; the large ono at Philadel
phia, the Wyoming; and tho small one,
tho Pawnte; that at Norfolk, tho Daco
tah; that at Ponsaeola, tho Semiuott;
and that at Mare Island, California, the
ixiginaw. All these aro Indian titles,
and each of them tho namo of some of
tho old Indian trilos. Det. Free 1'res.
JOT In Milwaukee, a few days ng,
ju.-t as the cars were going to start, a
young man in a state of intoxication, reel
ed towards tho platform of the rear car,
and foil under the wheels, w hich cut his
body entirely in two.
ScKr&iSK Partv. Mrs. Mary Taylor,
of Lee, Massachusetts, had a surprise par
ty of her fifteen children, on Iter 100th
birthday, January Olh.
.
Kxowledok is Power. While a
worthy individual was "laying down the
law," the other day, to a knot of acquain
lauces, he caught the eye of a carter, hard
by, who had leeu vainly endeavoring to
raise a sack of potatoes to his cart flu,l
who appealed to tho man of knowledge.
"Come awa, Mr. ; knowledge is
power, ye ken; gio us a lift wi' this sack
o' tatoes."
Clriocs Circcmhtaxck. A curious
and almost serious circumstance bapj'en
ed in Philadelphia a few days ago. A
gcutleman residing on Raco street had
been smoking a cigar, and threw the
stump from a second story window. It
fell into the pocket of a passer-by, who,
perfectly unconcious of what had hap
pened, continued on his way. Upon ar
riving at Eighth street, ho was astonish
ed to find that his clothing was on fire,
and the wholo side of his coat was con
sumed. Dct. Frco Press.
JllSCL'LLAXEOl'S ITEMS.
Wo have tho last eonund. am: " If
Sickles is a murderer, what is Butter
worth P Some enterprising grocer is ex
peclod to reply, "Twenty cents a jkjuikL"
I presume you won't chargo any
thing for iust rc-meinltring me," said'a
cje-legged sailor to a cork-leg manufac
turer. Why is a man who makes addition
to false rumors like ono who has confi
dence in all that is told ! Because ho
rcAV on all he hears.
We often hear it said of a sick man,
that he tnjoyt bad health. Such is not
the case. The only persons w h enjoy bad
health are tho doctors.
The cost of all tho canals in the
United Slates is estimated by tho Jour
nal of tho American Geographical Socie
ty at 175,000,000.
In Washington, a few days situv,
a marriel lady paid: " Ah! I am sorry
for that tragedy. I have not lecn able
to get -nary gentleman tocak w ith mo
siuco I've heard of it"
"Speaking of shaving," said a pret
ty girl lo an oUlumto old bachelor, " I
should think that a pair of handsome
eyes would lo the best mirror to shave
by." "Ye?, many a loor fellow has
been shaved by them," lie replied.
" Wife said a tyrannical husbaid to
his much-abused consort, " I w ish you to
mako mo a pair of falo bosoms." " I
should think, replied she, "that one bo
som, as false as yours u, would bo sulli
cient" Kxit husband in a brown study.
" Did I hurt you P said a lady tho
other day, w hen sho trod on a man's toes.
"No, madam, I thank you, seeing that
it's you ; but if il were anybody else, I
would havo hollerod out murder!"
An Irish postboy, having driven a
gentleman a long stage during torrents of
rain, tho gentleman said to him, "Pat,
are you not very wet P "No, please your
honor, I'm very dry."
"What's thatP said a schoolmas
ter, jointing to the letter X. " Dadd's
name." " N o, it isn't vour daddy's name,
you blockhead, it's X.v " I'll l darned
if 'tis. It's daddy's name, I'll bo blowed
if it ain't, an' ther's no uso lalkiu' old hoes !
I've seen him write it ofteu."
"Pap, I planted some potatoes in
our garden," said ono of tho smart youtlis
of this generation to his father, "and
what do you think camo up P " Why
jotatoes, of course." No, ir-e ! There
camo up a drove of hogs and cat them
all."
A newly appointed constable at
Rochester, Michigan, a few days ago, un
dertook to turn a man out of Court, who,
ho thought was interrupting tho proceed
ings. Tho gentleman quietly withdrew,
and tho constables soon after was inform
ed that he had turned out tho shoriff.
Swell, (who, when ho is asked to
dino at half past six, thinks it timo to
come at half-jast eight.) "Haw! I'm
afraid you've been wailing dinnaw for
mo!" Lady of the House "Oh dear,
no! We have dined some time; will
you take some tea P
An Irishman, going to bo hnngod,
lagged thai tho roio might Ikj tied un
der his arms instead of round his throat,
"for," said Pat "I'm so remarkably tick
lish in ths throat, that if tied there I'll
certainly kill myself w ith laughter."
" My son" said a doting father, who
was nlnout taking his son into business,
"what shall bo the styl of the new firm 1"
" Wcll,governor," said the one-nnd-twen-ty
youth, looking up to find an answer,
"I don't know; but suppose wo call it
John II. Saplin, Esq., it l ather.
A country clergyman was boasting
of having been educated at two colleges.
" You remind me," said an aged divine,
(fau instance I know of a calf that Click
ed two cows." "What was the conse
quence P said a third jxrson. "Why,
sir," replied tho old gentleman, very
gravely, " the consemienco was that ho
was a very great calf.
A fellow down in Mississippi, who
does not have confidenco in tho honesty
of j hjsI masters, wrote tho following warn
ing on tho back of one of his letters, di
rected to tho post office in Kentucky :
Now, look here, all you postmasters! I
want you to bo very particular with this
document; it is a cash letter. Now,
look hero J I see you ! Dou't break tho
seal."'
A lady riding in a carriage a few
weeks since, found licrself scaled by the
sido of an old matron, who was exceed
ingly daf. "Ma'am," said she, in a high
tone, "did you ever try electricity?"
" What did you wi-, miss P " I asked
you if you ever tried electricity for your
deafness P " O, yes indeed 1 did; it's
only last summer I got struck by light
ning, but I dou't soo as it did mo a bit
of good."
Whalers at Japakesb Torts. It is
said that from fifty to a hundred whalers
will put into Japaneso ports next season,
to refit and obtain supplies instead of go
ing to Honolulu as thy have hitherto
done.
BEAUTIFUL EXTRACT.
Tho following waif, afloat on tho "sea
of reading," we clip from an exchange.
We do not know its paternity, but it con
tains some wholesonio truths, beautifully
set forth:
Men seldom think of tho great event
of death until tlio shadow falls across their
own Ith, hiding forever from their eves
th traces of the loved ones whose living
smiles w as tho euuliglit of their existencer
Death is the great antagonist of life, and
the cold thought of tho tomb is the skele
ton of all feasts. We do nol want to go
through the dark valley, although its pas
sages may lead to jmradise; and, with
Charles Lamli, wo do not like In lie down
in the muddy grave, even w ith kings and
princes for bcd-fellows. But tho fiat of
nature is inexorable. There is no appeal
or relief from the great law whli dooms
us to dust We flourish and we fade as
the loaves of tho forest, and tho flower
that blooms and withers in a day has not
a frailer hold uon life than tho mightiest
monarch that ever shook the earth with
his fixtstep. Get erations of meu ap
pear and vanish like the grass, and the
cnnile multitude that throngs tho
world to-day, will to-morrow disappear as
tho foot-stcjs on tho shore.
In tho beautiful dratua of Ion, the in
stinct. of immortality, so eloquently utter
ed hy tho death-devoted Greek, finds a
deep response in every thoughtful souL
When about to yield his young cxLsteneo
as a sacrifice to fate, his beloved Clem
entho asks if they shall not meet agaiti, to
which he replies: 44 1 havo allied tho
dreadful question of the h'lls that look ,
eternal of tho clear streams that flow
forever of tho stars, among whose fields
of azuro my raised spirit hath walked in
Sdory. All were dumb. But whilo I
! gazo upon thy living face, I feel that
there is something in tho lovo that man
tles through its beauty that cannot whol
ly perish. Wo sliall meet again, Clem-entho,"
0 TAR! THE PRINTER'S CHRISTMAS,
" Is the editor w ithin P
"Your servant sir."
" A ackage. Charges thirty-eight
cents."
Happened lo have just that amount
Paid the Expressman, and then, with a
nervous hand proceeded to examine tho
mysterious box. The cover is removed,
when our eyts wcio gladdened with tho
sight of a fiue, fat turkey. Tho next
thing bronght to light was a bottle of
chantpaigno aud the next and last a huge
demijohn, marked " O Tar." What in
tho world is O Tar! It must mean Old
Tar; but what in the world induced any
ono to send us either old or new Tar. We
havu't got any wagon, and as for getting
up a bon-firo for the btnefit of tho dem
ocrats, we aro not iu tho humor. Wo
havo it We will sell it to Iho Livery
man. Called on him, and ho said ho did
not use Tar, but greaso on his wagons.
Brought it back to the olliee, in no very
go J humor, still wondering why it was
sent to us. Rer'ved finally to draw tho
cork, dkl so. It wasn't Tar. Smelt of
it Knew by the smell it wasn't Tar.
Tasted of it and smell of it again, and
locamo fully satisfied that it wasn't Tar.
Tasted again, and then entered the reso
lution among tho regular proceedings to
mako sure it wasn't Tar. Tasted again,
and felt very happy. Tasted again and
becamo very rich, and resolved to give our
cottage to a joor widdow and purchase
tho elegant mansion over tho way, to
donate our office to the "devil," ana buy
out the New York I.cljcr. Gavo tho
devil a $20 gold piece fur Christinas, and
promised him a round hundred for New
Years. Bought a $5000 pair of nags
and a sleigh cushioned with warlet vel
vet, and decorated with gold ami p-ails.
Ordered from the South a darkey drier
and a postman, whose face shone liko a
glass Ixittle under a direct sunray. Went
i.ver to the 'Union" told Fred to send
every poor family in town a larrel of Ju
lian Mills Flour and numerous other ar
ticles to mako them comfortable. Bought
all the wood in market aud ordered it sent
immediately to the aforesaid joor fami
lies. Gave each of tho clergy man in tow n
a thousand dollars adopted fourteen or
phan girls ami fifteen orphan loys run
around and raid all debts (what printer
on earth did that f J kissed (before , wo
thought) a pretty girl who called to w ish
us a merry Christmas (somebody looked
unpleasant when this happened) settled
tho matter by ordering a thousand dollar
shawl, and a set of furs costing an equal
amount put on our slippers (imagining
that we heard music) did hear music, for
somebody camo near Uing kicked out of
bed. Alas! wo had only been dream
ji,frj Sandy Hill Herald.
jfcfT Kirwan says that a pious Scotch
man used to pray : 44 O Lord keep me
right; for thou know est if I go wrong it
is very hard to turn me."
XfT A coffin and its skeleton occu
pant wero found floating down tho river,
at New Hartford, during the late freshets,
having been washed out of their burial
place.
