The Morristown Gazette.
L. U& G. E. SPECK.
$1 A TEAR. STRICTLY I3f ADVANCE.
W. VAN HUS8.
J. TAS HtM.
CHuc'Ky Bond, HainMen County, Tee.
PRODUCE TAKES I EXCHANGE FOR GOODS.
salt Always kept on hand. 3y8-iy
TMeflle TOacco Merchant
Gay Street, two doors North of W, B.
Francisco's Shoe Factory,
C CONSIGNMENTS SOLICITED. ALL ORDERS
J Promptly filled. We will not bo undersold in
jantaM" W. W. LEFTWTCH, Agent.
E. F. ESPERANDIEU.
ESPERANDIEU & CO.,
Prompt attention paid to Orders, and satisfaction
guaranteed as to quality of goods and prices.
Our Cigars can be purchased, at manufacturer's
prices, from Dr. G. T. Magee, Morristown.
F. L. DAVIES & BRO.,
IMPORTERS AND DEALERS IN
Watches, Jewelry, Diamonds
CORNER CHURCH AND SUMMER ST.
VBS. A. J. DOSALDSOS.
MBS. K . I. HAYNIK.
DONALDSON & HAYNIE,
Dressmakers & Milliners.
(First door wei of the Steam Mill,)
MORRIS I 0?N, TENN.
VTTOULD Respectfully announce to the Ladies of
Morristown and vi.-iiaty that they have opened
an establishment f..r ibe purpoM of carrying on the
Millinery and Dressmakiiig Business
In all its branches, and solicit a share of their pat
ronage, pledging our best efforts to render entire
S. W. McCrary,
Two doorf- East of E. T., Ya. k Ga. R. R. Depot,
Family Groceries Confectioneries, Fancy Goods,
Boots, Shoes, Dry Goods,
ladits' Bonnrt-, Huts, mid Millinery Goods.
YT OCLD respictf ully solicit a call from his friends
and tue public generally, aad by selling at a fair
price, hopes to-receive a share of the public pat
ronage. Give me a trial. aprlT-ly.
Bsn. P. Mitch:-ll,
PKNTBR AND BUILDER,
3fo rr ISto iV n , Ten 71 .
TROPOSES '. the cit'zens of this community to
"contract fr the work of every din-eription of
BuildingA, upon the most favorable terms. Parties
who egutemplate the erection of houses would do
ill to call oil him. Ho is i repared to furnish all
the necessary n aterial for building?, upon u h
terms that iieiinot fail W be to the advaut. ge of the
person building. Those who doubt this, can be sat
. !d o: its truth by c .nsultiugthe undersigned.
octK-fy. E. F. MITCHELL.
Walker & Martin,
NEAR THE DEPOT,
31 o r r i s t o w n , T en n .
OUR Shop is fitted up in good style, and we offer
accommodations equal to the best. We return
1 lanjks to our friends and the public for their j.at
r'nage in the past, and respectfully solicit a- con
tinuance of the pame. feb5-tf.
J. H. COULTER.
J. W. BROWDER
COULTER & BROWDER,
MAIN STREET, MORRU .TOWN, TENN.
Drugs, Medicines, Paints,
Oils, Varnishes? DystuiTs,
Potent medicines, Faitcy Goods
AND, IN TkCWji;'
Everything usu;itbkkept in a
Ret.-.il Drug Store.
I hysicians Prescript ions Carefully Compounded.
The Type Upon Which
I PRIX T E I
WAS CAST AT THE
RICHMOND TYPE FOUNDRY,
12J3 & 1203 Fraiitlitt Street.
ULDERS PATTERN LETTER3
ays on Hand.
wis & Jackson,
SUCCKKSOBS TO EVANS LEWIS,
Furs, Trunks. Traveling Bags,
TJ 2tCB RELLAS,
FURNISHING GOODS, &c.
No. 4 fiay Street, next door to J. A. Bail's,
)VTT Lewis. )
A. O. Jackson. (
TDOOKS, MAGAZINES, SHEET MUSIC, ETC.,
Bound in good style, at city prices, a this ofllce.
. 111 ' - ' T
DO NT SEND AWAY FROM HOME TO HAVE I
Your Job Printing done. The Gazette Office :
i prepared to do any and all kinds at low figiirw.
Vol. VII No. 1.
THOS. J. SPECK, D. D, S.
Roger8ville,Tenn..from 1st to 15th of each month.
Morristown, from ISth to last of each month.
TERMS Cafib or Its equivalent
g7t . MACiEE,
Sugeon and Physician,
Will give special attention to the
TttKATMBNT OF DISK ASKS OF WOM KM.
WILL. 8. DICKSON.
DICKSON & BARTON,
Attorneys at Law,
X7ILL Practice in all the Courts of upper East
"Tennessee. Prompt and special attention given
References by Permission Rob't McFarland,
R. M. Barton, sr., D. Morris, Wm. Fulton, R. J.
Kidwell, Earnest b Briscoe, Pence & Lyle, Dr. G.
T. Matfee, Morristown, Teun. ; 3. A. Rayl, Knox
rille, Tenn. ; Wm. H. Moffett, New Market, Tenn. ;
H. BaHer, Greeneville, Teun. ; Davis & McFarland,
Bristol, Tenn. febl9-ly.
T. T- CARSON,
HAVING Permanently located in Morristown, res
pectfully offers his services to the public.
Satisfaction guaranteed. Terms liberal.
tF" Office over Folsom & Taylor's Store, decll
JAMES P. EVAKS.
Attorney at Law,
Will practice in all the courts of East Tennessee,
where the FEE will justify. Prompt attention will
be given to collections.
A. H. RETT I BO N Ei
Attorney at Law,
G It E B NEVILLE, T E N N .
Will practice iu the courts of the First Judicial
Circuit and the Supreme Court st Knoxville. Will
also give prompt attention to the collection of all
kinds of claims and debts.
J. O. IATHEWSON,
may 1 Sly.
!Sairi- V- Fain
Grocers and Commission Merciiants,
14 North Howard Street,
B A L T I M 0 IE, M D
V, BURG1 R & $0N,
PRODUCE AN D
Com m isa ion Merehan ts,
120 Gay St, nearly opposite Cowan, McClung & Co.,
The highest market price paid in Cash for all kind
Produce, Furs, Skins, Hides, tec
Consignments of Produce will receive careful at
tention. Refer to all Wholesale Merchants and
Banks in the city. rmay29-ly.
C K . LIRE
WILSON, BURNS & 00.,
Wholesale Giocers anil Commission Mertlia.ts,
30 South Howard Street, corner of Lombard,
B A L T I .V O R E .
vy-E Keep constantly on hand a large and well as
sorted stock of Groceries, suitable for the
Southern and Western trade. We solicit consign
ments of Country Produce, such as Cotton, Feath
ers, Ginseng, Beeswax, Wool, Dried Fruit, Fur
Skins, etc. Our facilities for dniug business are
such as to warrant quick sales and prompt returns.
All orders will have our prompt attention. ma7.
os. 93 and 95 Sycamore street,
Petersburg, Vir ginia.
Special attention given to the sale and purchase of
all kinds of Grain, and Produce. apl.
n. T. oox, of Tenn. i. I cox,- of Tenn.
H. T. Cox & Co.,
Forsyth Street, ATLANTA, GEORGIA.
Prompt attention given to the sale of
Produce, Groceries and General Merchandise.
And filling orders for Produce or Merchandise.
REFER to Business Houses generally of haat
Trnnrrimi .nut KoilthweKtem Virxrinia : Bust- I
ness Houses generally of Atlanta ; WUsc-n, Burua
It Co., Baltimore. jan30-ly.
McCrary & Harrison,
Dry Goods, Groceries, Hardware, Queensware,
Boo, Shoes, Notions, etc.
VITE Keep constantly on hand a full and complete
" stock -f everything usually kept in a general
merchandise establishment, and we p.'ad;e our bast
efforts to render entire satisfaction to oar customers
in prices as well as the quality of goods which we
offer tin in.
We give the highest market price for all good,
marketable Produce. Housekeepers will always
find Family Supplies at our house at reaaouablr
prices. Oive us a trial.
McCRARY A HARRISON.
A. J. COOLEY. JOHN COOL.
COOLEY S,- COOK,
CARPENTERS aad BUILDER
Having formed a co-partnership for the pwrjx as
of conducting the
CARPENTERING AND BUILDING
We are prepared to contract for the sittt
of houses of every description. Also, will execute
all manner of
In the verr best manner, at fair and risawuhlis
prices. We guarantee to render entire sataarfaction
inevery respect. Give us a cisKJI'aaavat fam have
any workto be done. .
impM.J COOLEY OO0,
For over FORTY YEARS this
LIVER MEDICINE has proved to be the
GREAT VNFAIEI Itjfc SPECIFIC
for Liver Complaint and its painful offspring
DYSPEPSIA, CONSTIPATION, Jaundice, Bilious
attacks, SICK HEADACHE, Colic, Depression of
Spirits SOUR STOMACH, Heart Burn, CHILLS
AND FEVER, &c, c
After years of careful experiments, to meet a
great and urgent demand, we now produce from
our original Gehuiue Powders
a Liquid form of SIMMONS' LIVER REGULATOR,
containing all its wonderful and valuable proper
ties, and offer it in
ONE DOLLAU BOTTLES
The Powders, (price as before,) $1.00 per package.
Sent by mail 1.04
w&- CAUTION. m
Buy no Powders or PREPARED SIMMONS'
LIVER REGULATOR unless in our engraved
wrapper, with Trade mark, Stamp and Signature
unbroken. None other is genuine.
J. II ZE!IJ &. CO.,
MACON, GA., and PHILADELPHIA.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
Mrs. A. P. Flynn,
At the- Turley House,
KEEPS Constantly on hand the Latest and moat
Fashionable Styles of
Millinery and Straw Goods,
B0NXET, TKIMMIXG AND VELVET RIBBONS,
Jionnet Silks. Sitins and Velvets,
Blonds, Netts, Crapes. Ruches, Flowers,
Straw Bonnets Ladies' Hats
TRIMMED AND IS'T.UMMKD
THU JParorite resort for health and pleasure,
sulfated tflu miles north of Morristown, Ten'n
and connected with the Railroad trains at that point
by a daily line of hacks, is opeu t all times for the
reception of visitors.
Accommodation; largely extended and improved,
so that twq hundred persons can be made comforta
ble. The effect of the water is wonderful iu all de
rangement of the
Blood, Liver, stomach. Rowels and Kidneys;
in 8crofulousnd Mercurial Diseases, and in ner
vousness and general debility.
A CONCISE ANALYSTS OF THE WATER:
Sulphuric acid 131.27 Sulphate of Lime 160.66
Lime. .-.. 'SL.12; " Magnesia 31.97
Magnesia 10.99 ' " Soda ... 8.50
Iron Peroxide . ... 1.00; " Potassa . 1.54
Maiiganeze peroxide ' Chloride of Sodium 40.21
traces " Iron . . 2.92
Potash and Soda . 5.90 ' " Manganese .69
Chlorine 32.63 Iodide of Sodium, traces.
Siliria, soluble .27 Phosphate of Lime 2.14
Phosphoric acid . . .71 Carbonate of Lime 21.56
Carbonic acid . .. 9.00 Silicia 2.70
Nitric acid .02 Nitric acid 02
Total.. 272.911 Total. .. 272.91
By Thomas Antksel.i, M. D.,
Prof, of Chemistry in National Medical College, D.
C and Chemist to the U. S. Department of
Also in the immediate vicinity of good Sulphur
For further information, pamphlets, 4c, address
PROPRIETOR TATE SPRING,
BtAN's Station, Tenn.
JOHS S. KIST1NE.
EDWIN F. MAY.
fctSTtNE & 'MAY,
AND liEAl.EKS IN
AXI) A LI. KINDS 8F
Patent Bed Springs
Facterj in North KnoxviJie.
1' artfttins, McGhee Block, Giv Ikeet.
(OPPOSITE THE DEPOT,)
Wo rristoupn, Te n n .
T, C. Cain, Proprietor.
THE TURLEY HOUSE IS " FIRST-CLASS "
1 1 n all departments, with large, comfortable and
wea-furnished rooms, while the Tao!e is supplied
with the best fare of the country.
tW A well-stocked LIVERY STABLE is kept in
eouncction with the Turley House. jan8.
ST OP A.T T KC E
IHniu Street, Morristown, Tenn..
M. DICKINSON", PROPRIETOR.
roOATFP in the Uusims Centre of town, and
J but a few steps in rear ot the Depot- Con
nected "nth the Virginia HovskUh good l.iv-
Sry anu Sale Stable, and parties can be fur
irthed with horees, buggies, hacks, etc.. at
Law i'hargfs, (iood Fare aad Careful Attention
Kill LINK T TATr.'S MM.
Baxgsge carried from and to the Depot free
(FORMERLY 8TACEY HOUSE.)
nk,U C,.nf XT ., o k ,' 1 1 TVnr.
M. B. WINBOURN, PROPRIETOR.
J. T. BLAND AND W. 8. WINBOURN, CLERKS.
rpHE Battle House is most conveniently located
J- to all the Depots, the Capitol, and to the business
portion of the city.
OPPOSITE COURT HOUSE,
Main Street, Knoxville, Tenn.
Wm. SMITH, PROPRIETOR.
Ha1 1 iTnI t ON 0 USE,
Corner of 8th and Church Streets,
U W. SCOVILLE ft CO., PROPRIETORS. .
Board $2.25 per Day.
Oni albas t ul fr 9f9U, Free.
MORRISTOWN, TENN., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 5, 1873.
The Hand That Rocks the World.
BT WILLIAM BOSS WALLACE.
Blessings on the hand of Woman !
Angels guard its strength and grace
In the palace, cottage, hovel,
O, no matter where this place !
Would that never storms assailed it ;
Rainbows ever gently curled ;
For the hand that rocks t.he cradle
Is the hand that rocks the world.
Infancy's the tender fountain ,
Power may with Beauty flow :
Mothers first to guide the streamlets;
From them souls unresting grow,
Grow on for the good or evil,
Sunshine streamed or darkness hurled ;
For the hand that rocks the cradlo
Is the hand that rocks the world.
Woman, how divine your mission
Here upon our natal sod !
Keep, O keep the young heart open
Always to the breath of Ood !
All true ttophies of the Ages
Are from Mother Love im pearled ;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rocks the world.
Blessings on the hand of Woman !
Fathers, sons and daughters cry,
And the sacred song is mingled
With the worship in the sky,
Mingles where no tempest darkens,
Rainbows evermore are hurled ;
For the hand that rocks the cradle
Is the hand that rocks the world.
Indiana has got a new divorce
Do ladies obtain barpjai
they get worsted ?
The ex-Emoress Eugenie has
annual income of about $60,000.
Photographs of the dead Napoleon
cannot be sold in Paris.
"Excuse haste antl a bad pen,"' as
the pig said when he broke out.
Louisville boasts of a woman who
can talk 410 words a minute.
The colored legislators of Georgia
are about to start a newspaper.
Fashionable New York churches
no longer have choirs.
The first stone of the American
Episcopal Church was recently laid
A party of Illinois capitalists want
to buy 50,000 acres of Kansas for a
A Mormon expedition has started
to explore the country beyond th
People often complain of not get
ting their rights, and it is sometimes
well for them that they don't.
The last excuse for crinoline is that
the "weaker vessels" need much
Why should young ladies set good
examples? Because young men are
so apt to follow them.
Souls cleft asunder" is the head
ing used liy the Washington Capital
for its divorce report.
Do not go to law unless you have
nothiug to lose ; lawyers' houses are
built on fools' heads.
A Danbnr' man was much relieved
to find that the term Credit Mobilier
was not a name for hog cholera.
"Love," says an amorous writer,
"is an internal transport." The same
might be said of a canal boat.
New York employs two thousand
children, under fifteen years of age,
in making paper collars.
Reports from Utah say that the
snow in that territory, week before
last, was twelve feet deep on the level.
John Adams, when Vice President,
wore a sword, and walked about the
streets with his hat under his arm.
Cincinnati proposes an early con
vention of all evangelical churches,
looking to general Christian union.
At Hall's safe factory in Cincin
nati, recentl3 a boy had bis brains
dashed out by the bursting of an
The fashion editor of an English
paper, in a report of a ball, describes
the belle of the evening as "pale,
pulpy and peaceful."
Out of the 22,701,000 population
of England and Wales more than
500,000 are on the parish registers as
subjects of poor law relief.
A Danbury man wears a ten-cent
silver piece on his shirt bosom, and
calls it a dime-and pin, which it cer
In Kansas City, Mo., it is estima
ted that $200,000 capital has been
sunk in trying to establish unsuccess
Des Moines, Iowa, has, like In
dianapolis, got a 13 year old school
girl who stands six feet high in her
George D. Prentice once said that
"Daniel Webster was the only man
who could be lionized without grow
ing vain about it."
The next time Vice-President Col
fax addresses a Sunday-school he's
going to lay his. hand on his heart
and warn the dear children against
the vile practice of keeping a memorandum-book.
George Driver, of Chicago, who
has just been sentenced to be hanged
for the murder of his wife, was con
victed on the evidence of his two
children one fourteen, the other
Five Steps to the uailows.
A man who had committed mur
der, was tried, found guilty and con
demned to be hanged. A few days
before his execution, upon the walls
of his prison, he drew the figure of
a man hanging on a gallows, with
five steps leading up to it.
On the first step he wrote : Diso
bedience to parents. Solomon says :
"The eye that mocketh at his father
and despiseth to obey his mother,
the ravens of the valleys shall pick
it out, and the young eagles shall
eat it" that is, he shall perish by a
violent death, he shall come to a
miserable, wretched end.
On the second step he wrote :
Sabbath breaking. God. in his com
mand, said : "Remember the Sab
bath dajr to keep it holy." Visit
your prisons and jails, and you will
find that nine-tenths of its inmates
have begun their downward course
by breaking this command.
On the third step he wrote :
Gambling and drunkenness. The
late Dr. Nott, for more than fifty
years president of Union College,
having been a close observer of hu
man events, truly says : "The fin
ished gambler has no heart. He
would play at his brother's funeral ;
he would gamble upon his mother's
Several years ago, a boy was hung
for killing his little brother. When
on the gallows, the sheriff said : "If
you have anything to say. speak now,
for you have only five minutes to
live." The boy, bursting into tears,
said : "I have to die. I had only
one little brother ; he had beautiful
blue eyes and flaxen hair, and I
loved him. But one day I got
drunk, for the first time in my life,
and coming home, I found him gath
ering strawberries in the garden. I
became angry with him without a
cause, and I killed him aj one blow
with a rake. I did not know an--thing
about it till the next morning,
when I awoke frorn sleep, and found
myself tied and guarded, and was
told that when my little brother was
found, his hair was clotted with his
blood and brains and he was dead.
Whisky had done this. It has ruin
ed me. I never was drunk but once.
I have only one more word to say,
and then I am going to my final
Judge.. I say it to j'oung people:
Never, never, never touch anything
that can intoxicate '."
On the fourth step he wrote :
Murder. God's command is ; "Thou
shall not kill." To prevent, men
from unlawfully taking the life of
his fellow-man, God has annexed an
awful penalty : "Whoso sheddeth
man's blood, by man shall his blood
On the fifth step he wrote : The
fatal platform. It is impossible for
us to form a correct idea of the '
thoughts that must rush through the
mind of a man under such circum-!
stances the disgrace and ignominy '
attached to his name ; the pains and
agony of such a death ; the want of
i sympathy in the community around
him ; the fearful forebodings of his '
guilty soul before the bar of a holy
T li : tL. I . e
va luiieu iu tue eariy part oi i
my ministry to write the confession !
of a murderer, and attend him on j
the gallows. II is name was Moses
Lyons. He, when drunk, murdered I
his wife. Being maddened by liquor,
he seized her by the hair and jam- j
med her head on the hearth until
she was dead. Two men who were
passing by, hearing her shrieks,
rushed in and caught him in this
murderous, brutal act. I visited him
in jail, from time to time, with a
view of leading hiai to Christ. In
his confession he said : "She is
dead, I must have done it, but I
know nothing about it." His mind
was so stupefied by rum that under
the evil spirit he committed this bru
tal, this horrid deed. Alluding to
his parents, he says : "The advice
of my dear parents to serve God I
did not listen to. Oh, had I done
so, I should not have come to this
shameful end. They have gone to
their graves peace be to them.
Could I visit the spot where they lie
buried, I would bathe their graves
with my tears." He had two daugh
ters ; when he spoke of them he
wept aloud. After a long pause he
said : "I hope the world will not
visit on them the iniquity of their
father. Parents, bring up your chil
dren in the nurture and admonition
of the Lord ; set a good example
before them ; do wot to them as I
have done to mine. Children, obey
vour parents in the Lord ; listen to
their counsel and advice ; look at
me. and see my fate for not walking
as my parents directed me."
A spiritual marriage took place
last week in Titusville. A lady me
dium, who professes to be a spiritual
minister, performed the ceremony.
A sheriff in Florida who received a
letter intimating that his resignation
would meet with the approval of the
Governor, wrote back to say that it
would not meet with his own.
What My Cook Said.
There's nobody, mum, that's so
put upon as a cook, and cooking is
a bizziness that nobody never makes
'lowances for. Most o bizziness
can be done at one time's well's
'nother. My brother now is a car
penter, and he don't have to git a
door done by quarter past 6, or else
the door be spiled. And there's
Biddy, the chambermaid, if she don't
finish sweeping a room when she
ought to, the carpet won't go back
to wool, or shrivel up to a crisp.
And if she make3 a bed all wrong
from top to toe she don't have to
throw the sheets away nothin's
hurt, and she just goes to work and
makes it over again. But if J makes
a bad mistake like that in a piece of
meat, wh' in course it's spiled in
tirely, and don't the best of folks
make mistakes sometimes, mum?
If I begins a roast just a trifle too
soon its spiled, and if T begins it
just a trifle too late it's spiled all
the same, or else folks is in a pet
because I makes 'em wait a bit for
it. I know in a gin'ral way by the
looks of a piece of meat just how
long, twill take to roast, but things
don't allurs work as a body calc'lates
sometimes the meat weighs a half
pound more or les3, and sometimes
the fire gits contrary. Most o' my
work, and roastin' in partiklar the
things most folks gits Grossest about
can't be done and put away till
it's wanted, like dish-washing, and
ironing, and sewing. It's to be
done just'to a turn, and just to a
minit. A roast must go right strait
from the fire to the table, as you
know, mum, yourself, and some
times folks is a little longer than
common over the soup and fish, and
how am I to know, mum? And
then, if the meat is a little over
done, it's "That miserable cook can't
even roast a piece of beef right !"
And if it's taken from the fire, and
kept hot, why that's just as bad, and
it's "That miserable cook ! she has
contrived to git the flavor out of the
meat !" And if they are ready too
soon, and the meat is too rare, it's
'That miserable cook !" again.
Seems to me that ladies and gentle
men as is ladies and gentlemen
might think a bit how hard it is on
the cook and have a bit o' patience,
and instead o' saying, "That misera
ble cook !" might be a talkin' pleas
ant among themselves, and wait a
few minutes if the meat isn't ready
to the minit, for you know, mum, it's
an old sayin', "It is better to wait
for the roast than to make the roast
wait for us." Hearth and Home.
"An Honest Man," &c
Old Judge W., of the Old Domin
ion, was a character. He was a law
yer, legislator, Judge, and leading
politician among the old time Whigs
of blessed memory ; but, alas ! like
them, his glory departed, and like
many others of his confreres, has
gone "where the woodbine twineth."
Notwithstanding the loss of proper
ty and the too free use of apple
jack, he maintained the dignity of
ex-Judge, dressed neatly, carried a
gold headed cane, and when he had
taken more than his us-ual allowance
of the favorite beverage, he was very
pious at times, always attending
church, and sitting, near the stand
as erectly as circumstances would
admit, and responding fervently.
On one occasion a Baptist brother
was holding forth with energy and
unction on the evils of the times,
and in one of his flights he exclaim
ed, "Show me a drunkard !" The
Judge rose to his feet, and, unstead
ily balancing himself on his cane,
said, solemnly, "Here I am, sir ;
here I am !" The elder though a
good deal nonplussed by the unex
pected response, managed to go on
with his discourse, and soon warming
up to his work, again called out.
"Show me a hypocrite ! Show me a
hypocrite ! Show me a hypocrite !"
Judge W. again arose, and reached
forward across a seat which interven
ed, touched Deacon D. on the shoul
der with hiat-cane, and said, "Dea
con D., why don't you respond?
Why don't you respond? I did
when they called me?"
Kusbln's VU-w of Writing.
Mr. Ruskin now writes : "I was
obliged to write too young, when I j
knew only half truths, and was
eager to set them- forth by what 1 1
thought fine words. People used j
to call me a good writer then ; now
they say I can't write at all ; because, '
for instance, if I think anybody's !
house is on fire, I only say, "Sir,
your house is on fire ;" whereas for
merly I dsed to sayfSir, the abode
where you probably passed the de-'
lightful days of youth is. in a tate
of inflammation," and everybody
used to like the effect of the two p's '
in "probably passed," and of the two 1
d's in "delightful days."
A western women whipped a man
who had slandered her husband. She
was arrested ancLj&ned, and her un
grateful spouse fefoses to pay the
Two Dollars a Year.
A Mule that Died of Fright and a
The Memphis Appeal is responsi
ble for the following :
Last. Saturday a gentleman living
near Madison Station, on the Mem
phis and Little Rock road, left his
home to go to the village. He had
not proceeded more thair two hun
dred yards, mounted on a lineal de
scendant of Balaam's ass, when he
encountered a great, greasy, black
bear. The bear was astonished,
and, without taking time to think,
hurried up a scaly -bark hickory, and
seated himself very comfortably on
a limb thirty or forty feet from the
ground. The farmer was complete
ly puzzled. If he rode back to his
house to get his gun the bear would
surely escape. He therefore tied
the mule, a long-eared, melancholy
mule, forty or fifty years of age, to
the body of the tree. The mule was
bridle-wise, but no bridle would
hold him, and a strong leathern
cable was kept coiled about his neck.
With this he was fastened to the
tree. The farmer started to the
house, and Bruin, divining his plans,
deemed it proper to get away. He
doubtless suspected that a gun was
coming. He came slowly- down,
tearing the bark from the body of
the tree. It rattled about the sleepy
mule's head, who had not yet seen
the bear, and dreamed not of the
proximity of the ugly beast. The
bear descended slowly, till he was
within five feet of the mule's great,
ugly head. Then it was that the
stupid, innocent, unsuspecting mule
looked up. He had never seen a
bear before. His knees smote one
another. He grew pale in the face.
His eyes were projected' from his
head the farmer said half a foot.
His tail was slowly lifted, the hairs
all turned awry, till it stood at an
angle of forty-five degrees above his
spinal column, and then it was that
the mule "hoved a sigh and smole a
smile." It was an unearthly sound ;
the farmer, fifty yards awa) says it
shook the ground where he stood
watching the progress of events.
The bear suddenly twisted itself
about and re-ascended to its perch.
The mule swooningly fell at the base
of the tree. He lay still and ap
parently lifeless for a time, when
Bruin again attempted the descent ;
but the terrified mule howled and
roared even more terribly and pit
eously when the barkbegan to fall,
and he dashed and danced about the
tree so frantically that Bruin hesita
ted, and finally in stupified amaze
ment sat upon the limb upon which
he first rested. The farmer came
with his rifle, and a bullet soon
stopped the pulse-beats of the bear.
It fell heavily beside the mule, and
strange to tell, as told to us, the
mule and boar died side by side
the one of a mortal wound, the other
of mortal terror. The bear was still
black as Erebus the mule's face was
already white with an indescribable,
agony of mortal fear.
The "Fat Sheep."
Some twenty -five years ago, when
I was a pastor of a church in ,
I took occasion one evening to visit
a social meeting, in the church-occasions.
One after another gave in his
or her experience. After a time a
man in humble circumstances, small
in stature, and effeminate, squeaking
voice, rose to give a piece of his ex
perience, which was done in the fol
lowing manner :
"Brethren, I have been a member
ot this church many years. I have
seen hard timei. My family have
been much afflicted, but 1 have, for
the first time in my life, to see my
pastor or the trustees of this church
cross the threshold of my door."
No sooner had he uttered this
part of his experience than he was
interrupted by one of the trustees,
an aged man, who rose np and said
in a firm, loud voice :
"My dear brother you must put
the devil behind you."
On taking his seat, the pastor in
charge arose and replied to the little
man as follows :
"My dear brother, yoa must re
member that we shepherds are sent
to the lost sheep of the house of
Whereupon the little man arose
again, and in answer, said in a very
loud tone of voice.
"Yes, and if Td been a fat one,
you'd have found me long ago."
The effect'upon the audience can
better be imagined that described.
A Leavenworth editor keeps a
live wide-awake hornet chained to
a chair in his sanctum. When a
bore comes in he invites him to sit
down. Not One has yet needed an
invitation to get up.
A Baltimore woman, lodged in
jail as a common scold, fell in love
with and courted a petty thief in
that institution, ajnd married him at
the expiration of her term of impris
onment, He has since disappeared
with all of her available means
One squair, (ten lines, orles,) for first irUea
One Dollar, each subsequent insertion Fitly a-tuta.
All bills do upon first insertion of advertiastseat.
1l I 17 M
fsoo $ii oo
12 60 II f
16 00 21 or
30 00 44 00
40 CO! 00
66 00; 104 00
! One Square,
1 wo fcouarii.
Fou th Column,
A BK.ll'TIFft PI C TUBS.
jBy edwaud r.vr.rxTT.
As a. work of art, I know few
things more pleasing to the eye, or
naore capable of affording scope c;id
gratification to a taste for the beauti
ful than a well situated, well cultiva
ted farm. The man of refinement
will hang with never-wearied gaze on
a landscape by Claude or Salvator ;
the price of a section of the most
fertile land in the West would not
purchase a few square feet of the
canvass on which these great artist
have depicted a rural scene. But
nature has forms and proportions be
yond the painter's skill ; her diviee
pencil touches the landscape with
living lights and shadows, never
mingled on his pallet. What is there
on earth which can more entirely
charm the eye, or gratify the taste,
than a noble farm? It stands upon
the southern slope, gradually rising
with variegated a scent from the plain,
sheltered from the north-western
winds by woody heights, broken
here and there with moss-covered
boulders, which impart variety and
strength to the outline.
The native forest has been clear
ed from the greater part of the farm,
but a suitable portion, carefully tend
ed, remains in wood for economical
purposes, and to give a picturesqne
effect to the landscape. The eye
ranges round three-fourths of the
horizon over a fertile expanse
bright with the cheerful waters of a
rippling stream, a generous river, or
a gleaming lake ; dotted with ham
lets, each with its modest spire ;
and, if the farm lies in the vicinity
of the coast, a distant glimpse from
the high grounds of the mysterious,
everlasting sea, completes the, pros
pect. It is situated off the high
road, but near enough to the village
to be easily accessible to the church,
the school house, the post-office, the
railroad, a social neighbor, or a trav
eling friend. It consists in due pro
portion of pasture and tillage, mead
ow and woodland, field and garden.
A substantial dwelling, with every
thing for convenience and nothing for
ambition, with the fitting appen
dages of stable, and barn, and corn
barn, and other farm buildings, not
forgetting a spring-house with a liv
ing fountain of water, occupies
upon a gravelly knoll, a position well
chosen to command the whole estate.
A few acres on the front, and on
the sides of the dwelling, set apart
to gratify the eye with the choicer
forms of rural beauty, are adorned
with a stately avenue, with noble
solitary trees, with graceful clumps,
shady walks, a velvet lawn, a brook
murmuring over a pebbly bed, here
and there a grand rock, whose cool
shadow at sunset streams across the
field ; all displaying in the real love
liness of nature, the original of those
landscapes of which art in its per-
ffection strives to give us the coun-
Animals of select breed, such as
Paul Potter, and Morland, and
Landseer, and Rosa Boaheur, never
painted, roam the pastures, or fill the
hurdles and the stalls , the plough
walks in rustic majesty across the
plain, and opens the genial bosom of
the earth to the sun and air;
nature's holy sacrament of seed
time is solemnized beneath the vault
ed cathedral sky ; .silent dews, and
gentle showers, and kindly sunshine,
shed their sweet influence on the
teeming so!1. ; springing verdure
clothes the plain ; golden wavelets,
driven by the west wind, run. over
the joyous wheat field ; the tall maize
flaunts in her crispy leaves and nod
ding tassels ; while we labor and
while we rest, while we wake and
while we sleep, God's cherr istry,
which we cannot see, goes on be neath
the clods ; myriads and myriads of
vital cells ferment with elemental
life ; gorm and stalk, and lea and
flower, and silk and tassel, and grain
and fruit, grow up from the co iraon
earth ; the mowing machine and
the reaper mute rivals of b tman
industry, perform their gladsome
task; the well-piled wagon brings
home the ripened treasures of the
year; the bow of promise fulfilled
spans the foreground of the picture,
and the gracious covenant is re
deemed ; that while the earth re
maineth, summer and winter, heat
and cold, and day and night, and
seed-time and harvest, shall not
Thut man has resolved to stay at
home more of evenings, who upon
reaching his house the other even
ing, found his household locked up.
After infinite trouble he managed to
gain entrance through a back win
dow, and then discovered on the par
lor table, a note from his wife, read
ing s "I have gone out ; you will
And the door-key on one nide of the
.i aw i
The Cuban revolutionists of New
York are in great glee over th;; proc
lamation of the republic in pain,
and think it will lead to the oedv
IX. 3 A. j
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