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GAZETTE. TT VOL. XIII. NO. :'.7. Bv.vJOIIJNT.E.inHELMSj MOItRISTOWN, TENN., WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 3, 1S7S). . 1 THE MORRISTOWN GAZETTED r Subscription Price, $2. MORRISTOWN, TENNESSEE, Capt. EiGEir of the Seventeenth Lancers, wheu shot at Ulundi, fell back into the arms of a comrade, a Dublin manccl;tiniin atliis last words, "See that llic inen pare the wounded. Spare tlie wounded." One of his .soldiers rode in the charge with a wooden5 pipe in his mouth", anfl when shot down asked with his latest hfeaiii, "Give the pipe to broth er Law, 'pUysicS'Siml divinity nre well supplied )vith feminine members ia the United .State. The lady doctors num ber 5.10, dentists 420, while sixty-eight are "preaoliers and. .twenty practice'" as lawyers. Some ladies adopt twonAir three'callings-at once. A lady living in St. Louis notifies on. her door-plate that she is an " elocutionist, poetess, washer and ironer." " . ! '' 'frtrf S;fn Francisco Chronicle says tha the TYirk Baron Ilirsh, who is worth $20000 'and recently won $100,000 in a lottery .ticket, is almost rich enough to lLytj rnS:ui Francisco. .Tho existence of rick me.n irk tht cjty has rendered neces sary tourse;()f scientific instruction for burtiaEi ,Jprt feasor hi the arty a recent gra'iuatdof tho&tate. PriHOty has Ixun a seritejul 'Wttmss on the subject,- forl wliich fifty cent a head is charged. The first nijrht tlie lesson consisted of a trea tise1, vcify a practical illustration, Upon 'bq operation of breaking, open a safe. Tliooutiir door was opened in forty-five minutes, and would have been accom lihd in even lcj time had not the pro fessor loen so unlucky as to break ofi hi.s rill. A troodly number of wcU-Vnown thieves and burglars were present in the ft"" n ' i Vi r-t'-i- TT"' pubbe T.dl where . the exhibition, look place, and for fifty cents obtained in for- mation which they could have cot other wise only by' nionthsoV years' of study.' At the end of ihe lesson aMetVtive appeared and cleared the ballot the most notorious of 'thc n'i. " ' ' Tuk ruddy planet-Mars, now nearly at ils.bj jgluest, is . under ' close ' telescopic' scrutiny. The two moons which for so n,f "7 0Jrs escaPed telescopic detection I nave to be newly luncu ami rated. - 1 hat aJroi:ionJtrs at Washington hop uped t) re I i . ,1 .j aoout me , discover thee minute bxlies middle' of October." But Mr. Common, of ,jjoudon, caught sight of them as early us September 21, when Mars was far from heiii? nt its brightest. He used a telc- scojie of the reflecting sort, having a mirror three feet in diameter, and re garded bv some (despite its inferiority to the Ptosif Moscope in size) as the most powered telescope in existence. Tlie in nesntcl.lite has since heen rediscovered. PhoWsfor so tha,lttle. moon is called) was aliout three-quarters of an hour atiead of iU computed time, judged by tbe rating 'of 1S77. Of course, astrono mers infer; as it is easier to suppose, that that tlie "Washington astronomers calcu lated a period of revolution a few seconds too long, not that the-little moon has reallv been-accelerated in its motions. The Annual, report of the Chief of the Bureau of-Statistics contains some interesting, matter." Theval tie of the exports of domestic' "merchandise during the last fiscabyear, was greater than du ring any previous year in the history of the country .."'From 1SG3 in 1873 the value of imports exceeded that of exports in an aferagfijof about $100,000,000 per annum During the last four, ytars, the excess of ther.yalue of exports over im ports has-amounted to . 7,000,000. The exports of merchandise during the last ten years have, increased frem ?27." (100,000 in IStfO to $08,000, 000 in 1S70. The value of the exports of bread and breadstufts during each of the last two years luis exceeded tfiC A'alue of the ex orts of any other commodity.--. During all the prccecding years, in the commer uiLWstNrjc tUe Aoufttry, siiicc,jL2i (except during the war between the States),- the value of the exportsU.f raw wotton exceeded that of any other com uiodity.. Fdui 5,S2Lto 1800, cotton fur nished 50 percent, of the total -value of x ports of nierchaiulise,.but, during the kist Uvv fiscal yeiuty it has only amount ed to aliout 2") ier cent. It must be re membered, "however; that,' while the for eign demand for cotton is regular and constant, a staple, in fact, like 'tlie crop itself,' the -demand for -breadstuff's and provisions is exceedingly, fluctuating and irreglrjdependent upo.n contingences upon which no man c;ui safely build. , ' Tl Dfcani ,of Life la' France. ? f - -irn,ataiic.Bej - ' ' i The dream of every young Frenchman whose pockets are empty, is to marry a gi rl who has f rom 2,000 .to 4,000, . 8 nd Tf-rrf about auoO a year for. himself by means of a situation affording a fixed , salary. It i not an extravagant dream, and, to do the Frehchman jusiic?,'he ia quite hsppy if -he' realizes it. ' llaving got 300 . or 400 a year,- ihe does not feeek to enlarge his income,' but lives prudenIy within his means, and invests onie savings ieryxjear with commend able judgement. The vary fact, how ever, that most Frenchmen should pitch they umbitian so low as to require, noth ingmore ihwjiat aq pnglishinan would call a little competency, shows how keen i tie struggle for .life, is, and, when one re flects that the thousands of men who cover the position of petit-rentier are joined annually by 20,000 young recruits rfrcshfrom the schools, and with all their talents whetted according to the newest sy.-tems ojf,the social JLray, one cannot wonder at the large number of educated filing ci-'ji Aho fiod their wavjntq jals. The last annual report of the Ministry of of Justice4 dn-ells upon the 11 increasing iiumber of . well educated persons who are imprisoned for oflenseH against prop HQLy. J.J&r.WictovJJiiSI ftml fli8 friends, 4.Wwv-iweit 4 -laud education as, the lanacea for allsocial and political ills, iiiay,fiud tiusa,hard fact to digest, but - there- it lies; and one may add that for determination ,m.ol!cnses against life, ns 'vol! as in swiniifi in:.' the hirhlv trained youiiea Mh5; lfo been through the It-stf iyc,swaKii quite ep;ial to the un cultured.. rough. , . : , , , ; GERTRUDE'S STRATAGEM. Hy,,Eister, pB,tr!cia was an heiress. Strange eiGugti, for we had always been terribly poor down at Lowbridge, my widowed mother bringing up her four daughters with the greatest difficulty; but, when brought up, were worth look ing at, I believe. Healthy habits and frugal living, are apt to make g)od condi tions, and and Amy and Patricia and I were as bright and "handsome girls as a re of ten seen. Bess and Amy were twin;, with eyes as blue as the sea near which they were born, rosy checks, and long, light-brown curls; Patricia was a sparkling brunette; while I was a perfect blonde, with cniiKled hair like molten gold. Great bad been our excitement when Aunt Betty wrote from FairhaVen: Deak Sists.-ij.-Law I am going to do myself thr Measure of visiting you this sun4. mor. I hear that brother Abel )rt four girls, and I want to sets thesa. I ain getting on in Tears, .ad Will tUake one of them my heiress." Aunt Betty, ot i'airnaven, was worth $100,000 if she was worth a cent. Well, in due time she came. She put up at the hotel, foir our cottage at Low bridge wasn't big enough to hold her, with ber maid, coachman and carriage, but fortunately that was close by, and he spent the larger half of three day with us. ;We all thought Bes3 would bo her choice, for father had named her Eliza beth, for Aunt Betty, though she had always been "Bess"with us. But it was neither of the twins and it was not L It "was Patricia. ' "Where did that girl get her bla.ck hairf ' Aunt Betty asked, as soon as she eaw her. "I think she looks like my brother iiute, don't you?" askeu my mother, ynin a wisum iook. "The very image of him answered Aunt Betty, turning pale. I divined then, as 1 learned afterward. that Uncle Luke had been a lover of Aunt Betty's, when both were young. (before their marriage, and the fact eemed to have a power over her. She looked at Patricia until the girl blnshed rosy red, and would have slipped out of the room when she called to her5 and drawing her down upon ht-t knees upon a footstool before her, she put K withered hand each side of the young cheeks,' and said, warmly; M 'dc;il. ' a-!l be . So it wph Fatricia she my heiress!" chose to leare her money to. but we Avere not out in the. cold, for the sent the twins, who were only sixteen, to school for twe years, and invited me, with Patricia, to tlie Hermitage. It was her home a stately old man sion of gray stone, gloomy looking on the oatside.'but luxuriously comfortable within, without being in the least mod era. We had each a maid, and the free A USA nf rrir Vinrao inrl rnrriiiifp. A ftor mating this provision - for our comfort, Aunt .petty excused herself Irom niak nS company of us, and we were as free as air to enjov ourselves as we chose, providefi We did not intcrfere with her hap. We chose to make a great many Hcquaintances, guided cautiously by Aunt Betty's wisdom, and the result was that I returned to Lowbridge in tlie ton. lie was wealthy, handsome, agree able, well connected. Evsrybody said, 'Gertrude has tlone well for herself." That autumn Aunt Betty, died. Pa tricia wa.,to, come in possession of lier fortune in a year, when she was twenty one full and undisputed possessor of 1100,000. ' - It-was arranged that we-were all to come to the Hermitage to live. We did so, and lived there quietly as was be coming for nearly a year, when Patricia made the acquaintance of Mr. Gage Redmond. She met him first at a funeral of all places! the occasion caused by the death of our next door neighbor, Gen. De Lacy, Gage Raymond being a neigh bor of his. He was well connected, but as poor as a church mouse, people said ; "so, of course, he was after Patricia's fortune," mamma declared. "Patricia is rich and beautiful. Tray, don't let her marry a fortune-hunter, mamma," said I, looking up from a let ter I was writing to Mr. Sherrington. "I would not if I could help it; but what authority have I, Gertrude?" said my mother. "In a few months Patricia will be in undivided possession of her fortune. We are here only by courtesy. The Hermitage is her home. I have no right to control her whatever." "But your influence, mamma?'' 1 "Will have very little effect if she sets her heart on this Gage Redmond. Pray stop staring vacantly out of that window, Gertrude, and attend to what I say. I want assistance in this matter." "Please excuse me; lam thinking of my own affairs just now, mamma. They may b of no consequence to you, but my letter is a matter of eome imjiortance to me." I did not mean to be saucy, only pet tish; but mamma, having had long ex perience with her four headstrong girls, bore with me patiently. "Well, finisn your letter, Gertrude, nnd then advise me." But my train of thought was broken, nnd after a few moments I put my sheet in the writing desk. "What can't be accomplished openly must be done by stratagem, mamma It ia probable that this Gage Redmond is after Patricia's money. She is a great prize matrimonially. Well, you say I am prettier than Patty, fc'uppose I play decoy?" "What!" cried mamma. "Mr. Redmond is dark and reserved. I am fair and volatile. Don't you think he will appreciate my style and beauty if I take a little pains to make him do 60?" "But, Mr. Sherrington!" "I will tell him. lie will not object," f'l-think he wilL" v "O, no; he will be interested in the good of the family. He comes next week. 'Fortunately Patty is sick with cold, and Redmond can eee but little of her till then." , . Quite pleased with my scheme, I ran up-stairs to give Patricia her cough drops, sitting down at the window of her room, and bowing cordially to Mr. Red mond, whom I could see writing in his uncle's study,' in the great mansion across the way. 4 The larches hid all the house but that one window. He was there a good deal, . and I reflected that Patty's blue silk curtains were more be coming to my style of beauty than hers. "I'll bring my embro. dery up and sit with you, Patty," I said. "Do," she said; "I am tired of watch ing the evergreens swaying about the gay spring sky." So I filled my, lap with rose-colored worsted and irajned myself in the blue window drapery for Mr. Redmond's bene fit. Just the colors to set off the pink and snow of mv complexion. I had the satisfaction of meeting his eyes moro than once when I glanced over the way. "Seem's to me you've wonderfully good spirits, Gert," remarked Patricia, languidly. The DeLacy dinner bell rang, and Mr. Red mond disappeared. "Well, I must take them in another direction now," I said, rising. "I can't give any more time to you, sis, for I want ho finish my blue silk suit before Mr. Sherrington comes.' , You'd better take a nap." Fatricid settled herself obediently among her cushions. . Suddenly she lifted her beautiful head. "Has Mr. Redmond called to inquire tbrine to-day, Gertie?" "No, I believe not," I replied indiffer ently. She showed a mpmeit's surprise, then fettled herself oh her couch again, and la five minutes was sleeping Sweetly. The blue rilk was finished, and having laid aside iuy half mourning for Aunt Bslty and donned it, the family pro nounced tho effect charming. "Is Mr. Sherrington coming to-night, Gertrude." asked mamma. "Yes." "I want to say to you, my dear, that on Mr. Sherrington's account I don't think you had better " she whispered but I interrupted her by iny exit from the apartment. Tlie next day brought Mr. Clyde Sher rington. "How delightful that the spring is at band," caid he, "the sunshine growing warm, and the grass springing! I passe3 a bit of wood coming up from the station that is full of arbutus. We will hate pome delightful walks, Gerty. I am very tired of city life." "Yes, Clydi?, dear; but you see 1 have bcr:h obliged to make a little plan which will intcrfere somewhat with that ar rangement" I replied quickly. "I want lo lend you to Patricia. "Lend me to Patricia!" "Yes, while I lure away a most ineligi ble suitor she has. Mamma and I con clude that it is the only way," I pdderl. "Patricia has a fortune of about $100, X'0, Voti know." "Yes." "Well, wr tUiiik i'nat Mr. Gage Red hltmd is after her money. We can't af ford to let Patty make "di .1 iuarch as that and r, i don't think I'm totally an Uninteresting person do you, Clyde? I am going to try and flirt a litt'e With Mh Redmond. JSTow yclt won t be a bear, MrX say no, will you, dear? And you'll try and help us by devoting yourself to Patricia, won't yoiii" At first lily companion did not believe 1 was in earnest, but when convinci-d o! my sincerity, hisostcilishment was iiicx pressib'c. I remember he stammered out some faint objection, but I would not listen, and before retiring that night I whispered to mamma that I had made it all right With Mr Sherrington, and she had only to observe how nicely I would manage the whole affair. I sent Patricia off in the morning to find arbutus with Mr. Sherrington while I waited to receive Mr. Redmond. When he came I was in the garden, and had ordered lunch an hour earlier than usual. My pale blue silk looked beautiful in the lawn grass. " Pray come and see my tulips, Mr. Redmond," I called as I walked up the avenue. Jle came, pleased enough, and as he was especially fond of flowers, I had no difficulty in detaining him more than half an hour. Then, seeing him look at his watch, I observer! : " We won't wait lunch for Patricia, for Mr. Sherrington is with her. lhev have gone roaming off after spring flowers, and- may not be back this three hours. Come in have a bit of-salrd, with a cup of chocolate, Mr. Redmond. 1 made tlie chocolate myself, and can recommend it." So I kept him for another half hour, and he left pleased with his visit. Patricia and Sherrington came back only fifteen minutes after the usual lunch hour, the former so delighted with a profusion of pink arbutus as hardly to heed when a servant informed her that " Mr. Redmond had called to see tier, and stayed with Miss Gertrude for lunch." She had put the rosy clusters in her dark hair, and on the bosom of her graceful gray dress and flushed with her long ramble. I think I never saw her look so perfectly lovely. " He has been here. Very nice for you to keep her out of the way so long," I whispered to Clyde. He looked at me queerly, but said nothing. I did not want him to expostu late with me, as I believe he wished to do, and so kept apart from him during the evening, leaving him to sing and play with Patricia. He was interesting with his very natural manner of reserved modesty. I was glad Patricia found him so. He had pale, silken hair that fell in shadowy curls over a beautiful forehead, softly modulated tones. He contrasted nicely with her dark spirited beauty. " Clyde has an elder brother Ray mond just the one for Patricia. I wonder "if it cannot be brought about?" But I soon had my hands full, for at all hours of the day and night, Mr. Red mond came to the Hermitage. And it was not long before my success as decoy was patent to the most careless observer. He asked only for " Miss Gertrude." In three weeks the crisis burst upon me. He proposed. " I used to think Mr. Sherrington your lover," he said, standing before me, the light on his frank, handsome face, " but late observations have sV.own me that his visits here are for your sister. Since you are free. then, will you not marry me? I can support you well, Gertrude, or 1 would not ask vou to join your future with mine. The death of my grand father two years ago left me $50,000, be sides some real estate. I have a pleasant home on the Hudsou retired, but ele pnnt where I would like to take you. What do you think, Gertrude? Could you be contented to leave your friends and live at Rose Cottage with me?" My amazement allowed me to stammer nothing intelligible. In some distant way I temporized the matter, and begged Mr. Redmond to give me some time for reflection. He went away, making an appoinment for the next evening. So thunderstruck was I by the revela tions of Mr. Redmond's wealth that I wandered about the house in a dazed way, not heeding how mamma was fretting about Patricia, who had gone to ride with Mr. Sherrington. " What's the matter, mamma is it point! to storm?" I said at last. "To storm? Nonsense! Where are your eyes, Gertrude? It is nearly nine o'clock. Patricia has been gone seven hours with Mr. Sherrington, and I know something is wrong." " What?'' I demanded, rousing myself. "I don't know." Nine, 10, 11 and 12 o'clock passed. No carriage no news. At noon the next day the buggy drove into the yard. Patricia coolly presented her husband. They had been married the evening before by our pastor at Low bridge. "So nice and quiet," said Patricia. "No fuss, no notoriety." She took her place coolly at the table. "You needn't hesitate to take Gage now, Gertrude. Hf's dead in love with you; and, as I like Clyde best, I thougm I'd decide the matter without any com plications." I think I was dumbfounded. But I found my tongue when Mr. Redmond came that evening, and said " Yes." I give my experience for the benefit of others. It is dangerous loaning one's lover. A rEraStLYANU SnjRDER, Confession f the Tool of Gang Who 5t or dered an Old Man to Secure the Insurance on His rife. Harrisbnrg (P.) Cor. Chicago Tlme. t Charles Drew? aged about 60 years, wiio was employed to kill Joseph Eaber at IndiantOwn gap, Lebanon county, haa confessed his connection with the mur der. Five men had an insurance on Raber's life of . $10,000, and they prom ised Drews $1,500 to put him out of the wy4 The naUrderef, in hi3 ednfessioj says : " I went to Brandt last summer, and jve sat on the porch. He treated me to ueer, and both felt its enecto. Ha caid we could make money; and he told me how. I said I would consider it. Finally I asked if life was sisnd. He tepHed there -were three others with him. lie mentioned Hummel and Wise, and I said I did not know them. He then offered t bring ttitn tipi I sp.w them, but I only knew Wise ; from boyhood up I knew him. I then agreed, and they insured Raber. I saijj it was a hard thing to kill Itaber. He said tlicy could make money. When they again met, Brandt said there were fire inter ested. Hummei also spoke about It. Wise came and asked whether I was to kill Rabeti I told him I was not cer tain. He urged me to go" ahead, and said they would shoot me if I didn't. I promised but I never intended to do it, as the insurance Lad all been effect ed. Brandt afterward said they had a plan readjfy and if I did not kill him they would snoot me, and td care my life I promised. A week or two after ward Wise said that t should not do ify so far as he was concerned, as he said he did not like the job. Think it was on h5 some day hQ ewd I hnd to kill Raber. I then asked Frank Stickler to do it because I could not. Stichler said he did ndt care. He could kill anyone, bub he bui gained that I should go ftldng, which I promised, but declared I would not touch Raber. Then Raber came to my hniist, iind we Went off together with Stichler. I was first Raber was in the middle, with Stichler following. I went over tho plank and liaber got oh it. Stichler got Raber by the legs, threw him in and jumped ontop bcr fell below tn8 plank. 3 of him. lva- pianK. l ttlGU w3M -- .4 back to the fence. It was first intended to drown Raber in the dam. Brandt had planned that Raber whs to go fish ing at Kitzmillcr's to catch fish for Brandt and wife, and then I was to droWn him. We went, and Peters went with us. When I saw the dah! I Could not do it, and said we would return, when Raber replied, 'yes, it was too cold, anyhow.' I pitied him. The drowning it the plank ftf tfelwntd ws also the plan of Brandt's. Brandt had promised me $300, and that others should get the same. Ho promised Stichler nothing. I bad tried to coax Elijah Stichler, but he would not go with me. I said to Frank that I would give him $300 after I was paid. When it was done they tried to swindle me out of all and kill me. This was planned behind the 6hed at Brandt'a. This they told me in jail When they asked mo to go via Ranks town I thought they wanted to kill me then. Brandt always urged mo in jail to keep quiet about this matter, m they hoped to get clear. I did not see the conspirators so very often about the matter. I engaged Frank Stichler to do the job after Kitzmiller'a plan failed. I did not go into the water. After the drowning Stichler walked up to my house and went to Brandt. .. I cJXrl t , see the old man's struggles. The plank was made wet by the splash m hen Raber fell. Brandt had Raber insured in an other . company, to kill him, but the company failed, and with it the plan. Brandt told me what to say before the Coroner's inquest. It was part of the general plan. Brandt often urged me while in jail not to confess. He called at my cell to-day for that purpose I am afraid of him, but not of the others. If you hang me you will hang an inno cent man." Clawed by a Centipede. Eureka (Cal.) i.eaik-r. Several Mexicans were in camp at the mouth of Memphis Creek, U. T., and were lying about the fire when one of them, Telestro Cruca, saw a large centi pede, fully nine inches long, traveling slowly over his leg. Knowing that the least "motion would make it sink its claws into his skin, without moving his leg he got out his revolver and waited until the insect had almost reached his knee, when, slowly putting the month of the pistol to its head, he pulled the trigger and the centipede was gone. But a centipede's claws arc quicker than gunpowder and Cruca began to cramp in a few minutes, the track of the insect along his leg turned a browni.-h yellow and the place where it was killed swelled up frightfully. Cruca rapidly grew worse and in a little over four hours afterward he died in great agony. But tho most singular part of tlie story is that the bullet from Cruca's revolver cut a small nick in the fore leg of a mule that was tethered near by and at daylight the next morning the mule was also dead, with the leg so swollen that the skin had burst in several places. ' An Uncompleted Education. Some of these seminary graduates can throw a very powerful stream of words from the engine of their cultivated in tellects, but they can't bluff everybody. The other day a fully diplomaed miss of eighteen walked into a music store on Kearney street and asked the clerk for a song entitled "Demonstrate by ocular proof the verdue of rny sepulchre;" and, as he handed her a copy of "See That My Grave's Kept Green' and raked in thirty cents over the counter, he smiled blandly and said: "Is the ditty know as 'Argentine filaments interspersed with the aureate capillary attractions' a novelty to your auricular repertory?" She concluded to go back to school for one more year. S1IARCD. I said it in the meadow-path I say it on the mountain stairs Th3 best things any murtal hath Are those which "every mortal shares. Tho nir we breathe the sky the breeze The tilit without us and within Life, with its unlocked treasuries God's riches are for all to win. The grass is softer to my tread For rest it yields unnumbered feet; Sweeter to mc the wild rose red, Because she makes the whole world sweet Into your heavenly loneliness Ye welcomed me, O solemn peaks! And mc in every guest you bks . Who reverently your mystery seeks. , And up the ladiant peopled way That opens into worlds unknown, ' It will be life's delight to say, "Heaven is uot heaveu for mc alone." . Rieb through my brethren's poverty! Sr.eh wealth were hideous! I am blest Only in what they share with me, In what I share with all the rest. Lucy Larcom, in Good Company. At a social gathering in Ireland the conversation turned, by some accident, upon marriage. One of the girls, ad dressing a handsome young man, quite unconsciously, as she explained, said: "If I were vou and vou were me I would have married long ago." ETERY.DAYSPICERIES. Cashmere slippers are worn with fou lard wrappers. They are trimmed with large foulard bow3. Oxly those, according the Elmiraict vertiser, with watts cr blemishes on their forehead, wear banged hair. GoLDEr-LEaGElJ green beetles that look like painted cockroaches, are seen on some of the new"bonnet3. Black surah petticoats, bordered trith kilt plaitings, are to be worn this winter, it is saidT Very long and absolutely plain silk waists of plain or brocade silk are made for yohng ladies to wear in the evening. A DaveSPoUT lady is about to sue for a divorce on the ground tha t her hus band "has no style about him.' A iifiiifiEft of a London ladies' club was requested to resign for kissing her brother in the dining-room. Hoops are coming into fashion again. Hoops are tilings to put around women to keep them from bursting with vanity. , " Jons! Johnl" shouted the farmer's wife, " the butter won't come. Run, quick, and get mc another sack of hair." It's not at all surprising that AdaQ fell. He had Eve constantly about him talking about a nude dress, and she had one every day. " " Is a discussion with a temperance lecturer, a toper asked: If water rots your boots, what effect must it have upon the coat of your stomach? "Yes, Mr. Barkeeper; I am not like the rest who, when they owe you money, never show themselves any more; I re hiaifl faithful to you. Giv'a 'nothes bottle !"' Professor "Now, I ask you, as a pfact icftl miner, what spade do you think is the very best?" Third-year man (scornfully) "Why, the ace, ot course. (Sensation.) An exchange has an article on " Hotv to run a newspaper." This should be read only by editors, as every other per eon in the world knows just how a news paper ought to be run. Knowledge is the right bower, and one of the showiest cards in the pack, yet in the game of life, check is the little joker that ia oftentimes the winner1. "Money does everything for a man," nid one old gentleman, pompously. "Yes," replied the other one, "but money won't do as much for a man as come "men will do for money." Mr. Thomas thinks it is one of the most touching things in life to hear a Western hog singing to its youngest, " There's a litter in the mire, baby mine, I'm by niiie." That was ail cbscrvjng fellow, if he was but six years old, who said, "Papa, I wish you'd quarantine against Tom Jones coniir.' here every night to see Jennie. It'a got to be too epidemic." The Boston Post has invented a new gun for the use of the didn't-know-it-was-loaded people. The Poet explains that "it lets the charge out at the breech." . Saratoga is gradually gaining oa Niagara as a reeort for bridal parties. It really looks as if Niagara would soon be left entirely to the Indians and tho hack drivers, who have killed it for tho rest of the world, Attorney (to witness) "Ho you know a certain Drexlcr?" Witness "Drexler? Is he a little old man, bent over, wears gold 6ecs, entries a cane with a big ivory head?" Attorney nods confirmingly. Witness "No. I don't know him. Never seen him." Russian ladies have just begun to take partnn boat races. In Sara toff the first prize, a golden bracelet, and the sec ond, a golden breastpin, were adjudged to the two young ladies who handled the rudder. A Chinese maxim says: "We require four things from woman that virtue dwells in her heart, that modesty playa on her brow, that sweetness flows from her lips, that industry occupies her hand." The girls ought to be comparatively happy. They are wearing boy's hats, boy s ties, boy's cravats, and it is hinted that they contemplate a raid upon an other important part of the male's ap parel according to Dr. Mary Walker. A younq man who had lost a bet of the oysters with three of his friends, said he wouldn't pay it unless he was four stew. He has since made a bet with nine of his friends, and says he in ten Btew this time, if he loses. Later: He declares two of the bets off, and when he comes to lose and pay, it will appear that he eight stcy. This passion for shirring is a blessing to some old seamstresses, who began tt hear the wolf gnashing his teeth at theii door in spite of the whir of the sewing machine within. Young girls, who have learned to regard their needles as a last resorl to finish machine work, have not the patience to do shirring and gauging, and there is a call for the old hands to come to the rescue. Boston Transcript. The Duty or an Audience. Kmiiy Faithful in tlie Theater. Surely the obligations of the public to ward their entertainers is not discharged by tho mere money transaction that secures to the one a seat, and compels the other to perform certain pieces. Society would crumble if our dealings with our fellow-creatures were conducted on the hard-and-fast lines of contracts alone, settinr aside all considerations of courtesy and good feeling. We pay our servants, and yet clothe our commands in the dress of politeness. We are not obliged to express in a theater what we do not feel, but we are obliged if we ad mit that courtesy is among the canons of good-breeding, to abstain from indiffer ence so pronounced. We go even further and assert that audiences, when pleased, should show their approbation frankly. They would be great gainers by affording such cordial encouragement. A rtists are proverbially the most sensi tive of mortals. They cannot do their best for lymphatic spectators; applause is to them like water to the thirsty; it puts fresh life into them. English audiences are painfully cold, and in fashionable theaters, indifference is chic. The passionate enthusiasm of an Italian or Viennese house would be voted absurd by our languid youths and insipid maidens of the gilded order, and, there fore, it is to the pit and the gods that the artists look for encouragement. Silent indifference is, however, negative. No one has a right to meddle with peo ple because they are too stupid or to af fected to take an interest, or, if they take it, to show it. Talking is positive, and as it is insulting and annoying to both actors and honest play-goers, it ought to be put down. Behind the scenes notices are posted up requesting the artist not to speak in the wings dur ing the performance of the play. A notice, " Talking is prohibited," might prove useful in the stalls and boxes, and we think one or two additions could be made. We would suggest the following: "Gentlemen requiring constant refresh ment are requested to return to their places before the curtain is rung up again, and not to Ix-gin searching for their hats and coats before the conclu sion of the play. NEW ADVERTISEMENTS. RAMAGE & CO. Moms anfl M Priirs, And Headers in irLisrc GOODS, LOrpjtito Cowan, McClnn? A Co. KNOXVILLE, TENNESSEE. Eeuskeepins full and comph te stock ol ererr thin in the v of Stationery, we do a JOB PUlNl'lNti business in all its brancbee, Riiaran-ttx-ing our work aa nratclatiS and at a low trues as (rood work cn We done fur. Order by mail will l.e promptly attended to. augU'TS ly KNOXVILLE FIEE INSURANCE COMPANY, Oflije East Tennessee National Bmk. CAPITAL STOCK, 8100,000. OFFICERS. r II 1c''Ll NO. Vli-K-l'RrsiDKST. COLt'MBlJ i 1'oWiL.L, SJ' ItiTiur & Trtai. DIRECTORS. JOSK.PII .lAt'Qt'KS, A. CAMWtM,. E. S. S NKOR!. w II I I-TTHVI.I ('. M. M-OUKK, F. W. T A V l."K, V. tt. LICK y. K O. .1 t hSO.V. V. 11. MctLl'MV. w. w. wooimi'i'K, FINANCE COMMITTEE. JOSEPH JAOI KS. j. M. McUHKE, K. 3. SAN K Ml D. C. K. LttKV. STOCKHOLDERS. ('. M. M :het ,!o pl Jaiines, K.J. Sanl'tird, JoB.-ph II Ki nest, A.J. Alters, A J. Mountcnetle, W. . Anderson, S. T. I,ogn. K. I'. jh k.n, W. V. Clinii'li'illrtitl, I) T. rto?ntoD. J. If. jirtilistim. .1 tii.es I j GaiiJfi T IS. Wrl.li, W. P. Wanlil'iirn, John E. Chapman. Jo. T. Jtr'l'fi'r. li. Powell, S. Sltninr-li, Tin s I-. V il!imii, J. U. lioHMH, K II .Mct'iune. I). A Carpenter. W. W. tt Nirlrii9. A . W. V. .1. U. Caldwell. I,. Ko.sh. tt'. Tav.it r. V. Knlkemni', W. Palmer. It. Luttrell. .1. 'ir!;n. Mum. II. Drjwu, Hrifli Martin, ', K !,iicl,y. It. K. harimnt, K. T. tt iIhou. TIiom. O't'ciDl.i'-, John O. Ki nejt, N. I'u;;irt. It. M . Khea. ' .1. . Lillatil, 1). i'. hr, an? 1 1 ' -ly HBRGIIANT TAILOR. Sorrhdowiij Tcnu. rs t - CI ass r o rk, Graceful fo tStvlish, "NT Misfits. IJitviiijr 'adopted MorriMnwn hh my future honi'. 1 oolicit the parri'iiiice ot a a ineroin puld.c. tt itlt an eperieicof r. I ,l',J' "'' vuiraute-ina nerf , l s. .Hi :i.tioii. Unit"' and li'Vl er!iiu t cut and mide e.inal t i anviu ill" Mate. l adies co-it-and lialdlHfx jnt.ifely rut "'' ! mad"- I ru es ii it low 8 coe.l woi k can he u me r r in inn e. nou. Country prodneo tiken in r- Vik" I.r rk Cleauing and repairiuc notly i-xe. nli-ct. All work flo-ie with prensioii. I'll lie t nali ty a K ei-iall y . hn-l-oDean anil Am ricaii f.i-.iioii r..imtant:y on hand. 1 invite all t'ji-all upon ni - at mv .1;oj, no-irly op pusito Co nmcrcia! lloUl. Main Ml reet. juIU, 7-. )y J. S. MIM.KK. TOIVSOR1AL. By Mack Fulton, At the Grigsby Hou?e, MOIt KISTO W N, TKN N ESSE E. doX'x'.X thr!pnld'c putrotntte. and wt,ii!d a' th-it I em givo saiitf-icli.m either in a clean, neat shave, hair fit. hair dress, clean sliam,oo, or an rleKant whisker or mojstai lie dje. Teium M od erate. FOR THE i I not fall o se your Tlrket ied lj tle NASHVILLE, CHATTANOOGA & ST. LOUIS R. R. TOR speed, .f )ty and comfort, you will find this 1 line to be unrwsSed. r'or t-e celebrated .i.nncri i.nd Slimmer Uesorts. Hound trip tickets can be purchased at all principal ofliees. JliiiI grant wishin 1 1 to i esr. emier iu lutaiu ui n prospectors, will fled ii to their ad van tae to go by thisronto. Kon d 'J rip emigrant t cket onualoto Texas points. I hroiiKh cca lies are run from I'tiat tanooea to Oolumbin witnoHt cnange. deeping Coaches on all night trains. Good Coaches, Good Road and Quick Time. Leave Chattanooga H 1,11 -n 2 4'i pm Kridgeport 12 I" pm 1 l pm Mevenson 12 : 1 pm 10 .V. pm V wan 1 33 -m 1 1 41 r"i Ileclieru 1 4' pm II pm TullHhonia 2 1" t.m 12 "i sin W artrace 2 i" pm 1 ' aiu Murfrtesboro' 3 12 rm 2 I''' am Arrive Nashville S Ml pm ' m Leave Na-hville S '" pm am Arrive .VcKeozie II ! li 1' ' am Martin 2 13 pm I'nion it ...... i Zti am t V pni Memphis " pm fl in am M. Louis S 2.1 pm 6 li am For maps, time tab'es and all information in re gard to tins route, lall on or adorers W. L HNI.EY. Gen. Pass, and Ticket Agt . Na-hvil e, l'ena. WM. T. 110UKK:;. Pass Agt.. C'tiattam oza. Teon. A. I!. WltKNNJt. jnnll'7J tf Trav. Ast., Atlanta. Oa. X). V. C. DAVIS, Watch Maker JEWFLEV, nerrlifonn, Trnn. Annonnces to th public that be is now prepared to do all kinds of work in his line at tbe moat sat isfactory prices. REPAIRING Clocks, Watches' and Jewelry of all kinds attended to with promptness and in the very best s'ylo. Any a: tide of Jewelry ordered on short uotic.e and s.tis faciio j uuaraateed. aug27"i'J lj GEO. WALKER, FASHIONABLE T0NS0R. MORH1STOWN, TNNE'$SEE. Bavins fifed up and craned a new Barler Shop on the railroad, next dixit to Newman'a Heer Hah. I i ni prepared to a.coinmo lt th public in mv lin ol lm jne.H and ieri i tfully solicit a share l their wet K. Mt piii-ewtil le ira.onaldi'. I all work guaranteed lo pie.. Keen ra..r-id rl'.n luwrlnHil Irfi a leidinir lea.oie. A.xuiuv bnrea'; at all limes ill be supplied w'lh.f I bf I oils and rei tiiuiei.es that run l hid. Intact, I pr.p?.m dispatch woik in aiti-lic t) le, bul to he ronnu.-fd come and see me. vHtil tf NORTH AND VEST NEW ADVERTISEMENTS. w. w. wooDiicrr. 1879. W. W. WOODRUFF & DO.. "WE HAVE DECIDED TO ADD VY business a line of A ilRIVl'L TUR. i We shall nini to keep only tuch articl. as ii-nd the test of experience Uinf th VEIe5h! hoenokModinatrUodace the OLIVER I IIILLF.D PLOW. ..,1 we .re w have the gratitude of 5,000 Farmert, who are now nnff theta in tote tec'.ion. Every article warranted to give perfect aatisfaction. Crculars ana 1'ricee ni on application. implements: Correspondence olicited and all information on Machinery rheer.'ulir civ". , Send foi Circular! and Piicei to W. W. WOOIU'.ITF t CO., for the f.-.baf "WHEELER MHLlCIv'.S CHAMPION THRESHER AND CLEANER, 18 INCH CYLINDER, $150 CHAMPION THRESHER AND CLEANER, 22 INCH CYLINDER, $200 ? THK Bf?T XST3 LOWTST PeICED TuSKrfHEEfl & C..EAKER3 IN' AS Y M AM IT. RJULWAT and LEVER POWERS, CLOVER HULLERS and CLEANERS sniNcm 2vrA.cixrisxi3i, HORSE RAKES, PULVERIZING WHEEL HARROWS. nowE sewing ruvvciiirvE com'V, btxn run circclaus and tkh e lit. Brennan & Co. Kentucky Grain Drill This Drill will wo-k in UnU -.there other drill- will fail. The only Urill thai will choke or tlox in FILTHY UNI); ot le.i draft tha any other ; require, b.t n end two horses. We believe thii will work ai greit a revolntion in .rain Irl.lt as the Oliver Chilled 1'iow his among otner Flow. Hsnd for Circular! an.! I ru ea to W. W. WOODRUFF A; O. Cider Mills, Sinclair Straw Cutters. "Wheat Knns, Olhrr ( hllkd I'lotr, Douhlf Shtiirl '"'-', '"l :.iir,r 'uv Ml. 'l-lMI'-r Gin MM, J'v'cnf fiVr"nV7 L'o'jr:it-)r tivl 1'unt Ci renin r Si "'-, lltir Fire Y.i" ,Stf-s S-fl-Our t"k of General Hardware will he kept complete en 1 full, and will tn jft titiou froia any quarter. Order, by mail promptly filled. W. W. WOODRUFF & CO., XNOXVILLH, TENN. com TO WHOLESALE AXI) It ETA I L 15UYEKS PETER KERN, CONFECTIONER AMI CANDY MANUFACTURER, HXST SWF MARKET SVAJiF, KWOXVILLi:, TFSXEXSFF. Has tie Largeat and most varied atock of Fancy Groceries, Confectioneries, Nuts, Frnits, COUNTRY MERCHANTS Throughout thi. section will find it to Chair f "Kt? Vl ICl ''' " inrcug forpric-slist. All goods will be aold at l.OTIOM 1I.IU.. OYOTEH.O FI1E9II Orders in Person or by Mail respectfully J. W. GrATJT & SON,. Wliolesale Profluce ani Commission Llerclmnt No. 203 Gay Street, Knoxville, Tcnn. ' Keceives Corraircmeita of all kinds of Produce, acl Puya WllEAh COllS, OATS, JIVE, If A Y, ILiCOS, LAIU, FLOUR. DRIED FRUF1, FEATHERS, (r. For which the highest market pries .. paid. Wnen Ue.ireJ, liberal .drsncea wsJe on coMSmenw, Charges liberal and aatiaf.ction guarantetd. aur,,-ly HOPE & DULLER, Watchmakers and Jewelers COR. GAY ASD CLINCH feTS., KSOXVILLK, TKNN , Kcrp in htcck a full lice of Watches aiii Jewelry, Soli! Silver, SflTer-PlateJ Ware, Sprier Tablo Cutlery, &c. -lpafrin nnd EngraTinir akillfuiry exec.ted upon re.aojablt ttr.s. All , 7 nfail will receire prompt attention and aatisfaction guaranteed. ,nl WILL S. DICKSON. -A-ttornoy at Law, MlKKI.T"w S Tr.NX. Viirpracl-cc iu the Corrtn ff I'rper Vm I IVnijcee. 1'ioti.i.t u 1 prvil al iituu givcu to coIltctioiH. W. E. ;IBM!. O TO OUR KEGI'LIK II HID WARE L im'Li:Vi:ST, n 1 .r. now yrt Vrl l t , Fn'i rl" i ni; Slk .Sci", Mill Ftil'liii'1 Fmirk Jhuf Mil' i:,U'(M Ifunrnj, lu ni Jhllimj nifl J'luliii'j, Ihmhl-- nii'l Siii'fl'' Sjio'if Cnm ,S7i Hi c, D'sfi.r Si '' i'f frtralf. J. OXJ30Ila,Xja1,"3r solicited, and will have prompt .U.a.ioa All er4art if A. IT. PETTIBONE, Attorney at Zaw, "tn. Wiil I'tacUce in lS copr'a e( 19 fcta Judicial t'ifmt an I ll ujirensi Courts KnoiYiile. We alo i re prM0tt attaiio to the clie-tic ol a'.l kiu la of c airaa as 1 dtbla.