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1 1 T" " VT" "TP AZEl By JOHN E. HELMS. I ft. MOKRISTOWN, TENN., WEDNESDAY, MARCH 10, 1880. VOL. XIII. NO. 51. THE MOBPJSTOWH GAZETTE. Subscription Prlco, 52..- A.RRAVE HEVENGE. John -Tbomap," 1 said ;a beautiful young lady, m she throw up Hlie easli of tho window at wlucu;8Q was standing, " tell that dirty boy to get off the fctoop at once. John Thoraia, ih(y. liveried fop tnirvn, who wa nrranrlng the mats iu-jtnele gant coupe beiore the door, at once moved, ioward the boy in obedience to his lovely jniisress' command. - But the boy, e vi dently a boot-black, epared hi in. tiie trouble by rising at once and walking slowly away. He ,was a poor, emaciated, forlorn "lookiag; f elluwy, .. -with, his clothes hang- ing aboutjhini in tatters, and bis bare toes peeping through the wide cracks in Lis ill-mated shoee, but he had as much pride in his humble way as the fair lady at the plate glass window had in hers, and tbere was an unmistakable look of wounded dignity on his begrimed face as he turnect it for an instant in the di rection of the speaker. " 5 - ' " I'll not soil their stoop with my rags gain," he thought, as the clear, cutting tones ceased, and the window slid softly down to the sill. But having reached the next pave ment beyond, he paused and again turned his eyes to the lady's face. She was extremely beautiful, remind ing him of one of the bright prints he had beeuwont lo. admire at a down town booksellers, and for some momenta he feasted his eyes on the charming pic ture before him. " A cat may look at a king," was his inward comment,, and leaning against a neighboring lamp-post, he watched un til she desceuded the broad stoop, en tered the carriage and was driven .way. Then with a sigli and shiver, for it was a cold windy morninr, he slowly shuflled nwAy. ' - r k ' ' It wasj some years ao, before boys' lodging -houses or other hospitable re treats were thought of. and 'like many another boot-black and news-boy of the period, jvkf)j without means, lie was compelled to find food and shelter us best be could. - On this morning he had arisen with aching bofccjrpiri " the interior 6E an emptyiiiogbliC44d,liere heiuul managed to pass the night, and alter taking a long look at the rolls and coffee he could not buy, had wandered, he scarcely knew how or whyir-to the present aristo cratic locality. Hungry, tired and cold, he scarcely bad the spirit to look about for another job; but midway etiown tka block.be espied two gentlemen engaged in con versation, and with an effort he Quick ened his stepTldward them." ' "Have a shine, sir?' he asked, clancing up at the elder of the two, a stoat old gentleman, faultlessly dressed and e&rryjnsf a gold-headed cane. TUit a cool " Clear out!" accompanied with a wave of the gcld-crusted stick was the only reply. ""Those y6uug rascals ought to be suppressed by the police as a nuisance," be heard him remark lo bis companion as he turned away. ATaii tiilvfr Jim lie-wotJd Lave re turned theold gentleman's opinion with a tarcam as cutting as his own, but now be was quite tco discouraged and miser able to reply, and, sitting down thia time on the curbstone," gave himself up lo his own dismal thoiiirhts. "Might have know'd better'u ter come-over bore anions; the swells a.ny Wliy'i'?yajas inward." comment, but it went no further, for he wa3 now accosted Ijy.abig -twuiiUyiMHU, in ,b'4Hnne jpiin rjJoykt'd fully ai out of pl.icd.on ti'f' Attire ai.tiifi joun boot-black hi in-. Keif. "Tliat a lKVt-bi.ukiii' arrangement, niu'l, it V" said the man, nodding at the box anti brush. , . The l.uy iLlod iu l eturij. : , - " Veil.'yicn, bh.li; you up and eo6 iny shoes, willyoti'"' This bub was only too glad to do, a faint smile flitting over hid face the while. fia a few Yniimtos the"" cowhides" WWi, hs thoownerxitHr-lred, .'. all rbrlit," and surveying iheni complaeeutly, he i"ui!i!i!--d into the depths of his great ! kei.s for llio change. " You're what they ciill a perfes shminl J'ool-black. h:unt you?" "M'y,'- . . : '' Ihrii, ly Jimlny! Yer a pour specimen uv the crai t ; lon!c aa tliou .h you hadu c tasted cowl'o'ii in a moal.li ," ' Yer right theie, boss; no more 1 have." . . , , "Thought so," Vas the rejoirdor, "and here s fifteen cents fur ter buy yoiir hreakiast." - , Tiroa are. a bully cove," v;a tbo Kiy s reply as be rocketed the money " when you come this way ?t;in I'll shine vou up for nothin." - "" ruieen cents at sacn a lime was as good as a fortune, and away sped the boy to purchase a breakfast. There is nothing which reflects so di rectly on the entire system as a good brcakfaet, particularly when there is a strong lnorth-ea.-tern" sending its icy oreatn to tne very marrow oi one s bones. ' And so the knight of the blacking brush fuud it on that cliild NovemWr morning, all' his former spirits return ing as the l.it morsel went , ravenously ctbwnbts throat." With a bouud he was off down the street, and soon, as luck would have it, turning in the pennies as fast as he could Yeasonably desire. """" It was near' eight o'clock that same evening, and our young friend, standing beues.th the Jiyht-of a street lamp, was turning over, firbis mind whether he had best spend a portion of his earnings in a theater ticket, or save it for the marrow, when some, one lightly touched .'. Li"! on tHe sHouHcr. ' " ' i'urrirg btiil lerly, Le beheld the ..ny. viHage oi' a young colored waiter, with whom be had a slight acquaint ance. ; . " How are yer, Sambo?" be asked 3 " Oh,-berry well,- tanke,but I'ze in a owerful huiry, and I cum over dis way t "Jiunt ' same -pusson to do me a rvflr." ' - J - - i , i "All right, one;yer aiter. ter guv?" shady. How . Then I'm the much yer goin' " Just, one- shilling, an' it's only to tote a.note.to a young colored lady dat aoa wis some white ioIks a piece piece up 'parity o town.? 3h"p aciin' in ibe ciiamoer-mah!, -'and her name am jpphroni a Johnson.'" "Well, give us the change an' the Jetter.anM'w off." - ... " Whew I" exclaimed the boy, as he started off with the letter in bis pocket, and the directions in bis bead. " The veryhoifiie they druv me from this inornin. Wonder if the nigger 'ill ortiUwf.ai. tbatitooi.". - As the young " cofored gemman" bad fetid, it was ''unYy a piece uptown," the boue being on Vifth avenue, jast above Kixteenth street. Jut asfthe boy neared the "corner of the street, a piercing cry of "Fire! Fire!" reached his ear; hurrying on to Bee from whence it came, to bis amaze ment, it proved tobeTthe very -house to whlcithe waaJbentfjon, Lis errand las let ter carrier. The fire alarm had been sounded, and a crowd: was rapidly gathering before ,the door, and in among them the boot black was "soon standing. In some way the fir, had gained a headway before its existence bad been discovered, and the flames were darting upward through the wide halls and into the second story. The staircase was wrapped in a wreathing clond of smoke, and jittle Jfiamesof crimson light ap peared in its midst, and on the pave ment just-beyond, stood a gray-haired man with clasped hands and a face stricken with terror. Our young friend recognized him at once. It was the same old gentleman who had tola him so grulily to be oil that morning, and in an instant he took it all in. lhat he was the father of the beautiful young lady he had seen at the window, and that some one was perish ing in the names. "My child, mv pet!" he was saying, piteously, to himself, then turning excitedly to the gathering crowd, he ex claimed in tones that sounded above the dm of the approaching engines, and the Hum or the murmuring throng about him "A hundred dollars to the one who will save my grandchild! Who will save my grandchild ?" . "I will!" responded a shrill voice at his Bide ; no other than that of the poor bootblack ot the morning. " You are only a child," he began But the boy, pointing to the twirling names above him, interrupted hastily. " Tell me where the child is, and for uod s sake be quick I " In the second story back, in a little crib." " "Some of you fellers boost me onter that ledge above the parlor winder!" said the boy to the gaping bystanders, " and I'll have it down in a twinkling." Vftuickly they did his bidding, and in less time than it takes to relate it, he had clambered to the front chamber window, and effecting an entrance, dis appeared amid the choking smoke that was fast filling the room. He soon found the crib, and taking the little sleeper in his arms, wrapped it up head and foot in a blanket he tore from the rosewood bedstead at its side. ''". Then pulling on" one of the sheets he endeavored to tear it into shreds, but in vain; it was made of the strongest and finest linen. His knife, however, was in his pocket, and hastily whipping it out, hectlt it into number of strips. Then tying them together by way cf a rope, he lastened it about the middle ot the child. "Here it is!" he shouted, and at once proceeded to slower tne cuild into its grandfather's outstretched arms. A great cheer sounded up from the multitude below, and the firemen, see ing the precarious position, ran for a ladder. But every instant the danger increased, and ,he could now feel the seething fire almost catching him in its merciless embrace. "1 must jump 1" he shouted, and a hundred hauds reached out to catch him as he gave the leap. But with all the eagerness of those be neatn nun. tney missed tneir reckoning and lie fell heavily to the ground, i Tender hands raised him, but there was no recognition in the still white face. A deep gash across the forehead pointed to the most serious wound he had received, aud, without once opening his eyes or giving the least sign of consciousness, he was borne to a neigh boring liospital. . -It was many days before he recovered his senses--weeks before he could walk. Hut when this stage had beeen reached he was the recipient of good tidings. The hundred dollars, which Becmed a fortune in his inexperienced eyes, was certainly his; but better thau this vas the news that the parents of the child he had saved intended to take his lu ture in their charge. ' Since, he bar become a man of high position and unquestionable ability, and, whenever he is asked how he came by the scar on his forehead, his answer invariably is: "I received it when I was a boot-biacK venee.' and I call it my ' re- l lie Largest IJlk A tillers lei Noen in Molilalia. i li l-na (MoulaiiMj lii'l-i'i-iulf nt. At the store of Jacob Switzer, last were shown tne most won- ut iiiu specimen oi an eiic s neau jhi i horns that we ever saw or read of. The head measures i!'J inches from the crown to the tip of the nose. From either si.lt; of the crown the main branches of the horn, beginning with a circumfer ence . of 11 inches, rise in massive strength :md marvelous beauty, branch ing out in the most perfect serpentine curves, and make a magnificent display of twenty antlers. From the tip of the nose to the tip of either branch, follow ing the curve of the horn, the distance is 73 inches, while measuring from the center of the crown to the tip of either brance in a straight line the distance is 49 inches. A space of 42 inches inter venes between the extreme tips of the branches. The greatest distance from outside to outside between the main branches is 47 inches. What is known as the royal antler? on the right branch has a singular formation, the result doubtless of a bruise received in some furious battle. The most singular, how ever, is one which appears just above the fourth, or sur-royal, antier of the right branch, where the horn flattens and assumes very much the Bhape of a moose horn, and from the edge of this palmated portion three additional ant lers have grown. The feature very much resembles a cut Avhich we have seen of the antlers of a fossil elk, and leads to the belief that this may have been one of the last survivors of a species fast becoming extinct. When alive this animal must have made a splendid appearance in his native wilds. Surely none but a trained hunter could have "deliberately drawn a bead upon this monarch. We understand that the noble animal was killed during the Christmas holidays by Mr. E. J. Thomas, proprietor of the. Keystone House, on Dearborn, and the head and horns were by him presented to hi3 friend, Mr. Switzer," who will at once have them dressed and ornamented in a way be coming such rare specimens, '1 To Please Ki3 Wife. ' Georsre Roe was a poor mechanic at Norfolk, Va. He and a young lady of wealth and fashion fell in love with each other. Her parents forbade her to marry him, but she did it, and went to live with him in a humble home, de claring that she could be as contented there as thoueh surrounded by luxury. But she found poverty hard to bear, and her growing discontent was observed with alarm by her husband. During the holiday season, she missed the social festivities to which she had been accus tomed, and grew fretful. The husband thought that a New Year's present would make her happy, and Btole a seal skin sacque for her. He is in prison, and the wife forgives and consoles him. : A DUEL TO THE DEATH. The I Iesieratln of Southern Valor K ben the U1om1 i Heated. (Little Bock (Ark.) Gazette. Mr. H. Thomas has just arrived in the city from Hot Springs, and having been a witness of the desperate encounter which recently occurred between Col. Robert Alexander and Col. Smiley, at that place, gives the facta which we epread before our readers. Col. Alex ander and Col. Smiley were prominent claimants of mining lands at Silver City. Some dispute arose as to a claim. Being unable to settle it satisfactorily, the iispute argumented into a quarrel, and the quarrel into violent threats. It was well known that both parties were men of nerve. Smiley had won a reputation of being desperate in a personal encoun ter. Alexander, though he had never been credited with shedding blood, was considered a man with whom it would not be safe to trifle. All efforts to settle the misuuderstandinjj failed, and those who were acquainted with the circum stances expected that bloodshed would be the ultimate result. Several days ago, the day when the encounter took place, Smiley came to Hot Springs. Alexander was in the town. Smiley went to the bank and asked of the cashier: "Have you seen Alexander?" The cashier replied that be had not seen him, but understood that he was in town. "I am going to kill him before 4 o'c'oek," exclaimed Smiley, and, turn ing, left the bank. After leaving the bank, he had not gone far when he met Alexander. The furious aspect imme diately assumed by each man illustrated the fact lhat violence would ensue. Alexander drew a large revolver, and, rushing upon Smiley, struck him over the head. Smiley staggered back, and drew a French self-cockinr revolver, and, with a rapidity almost beyond the capacity of enumeration, fired six shots at Alexander. Three shots took effect, a ball striking each arm and another going through the lungs. Alexander's pistol dropped from his hand. He at tempted to recover it, but his right arm had been paralyzed by the ball. He grasped it with his left hand, but the left arm having also been wounded, he was unfile to cock the weapon. Smiley was upon him. With a cool, desperate presence of mind, Alexander kicked his pistol into a saloon, near which the en counter occurred. Then encering, he stooped and caught the muzzle of his pistol with his left hand, raised it up, and cocked it with his foot. He lifted the pistol from the floor. Smiley stood outside, peeping around a door post, with only a part of his head exposed. Alexander nervously lifted the weapon, took deliberate aim and fired. The ball plowed along the post tehind which Smiley stood, half burying itself, and striking Smiley in the forehead, went through his -brain. Smiley fell dead, and Alexander, turning, sank from loss of blood. A large crowd witnessed the encoun ter, aud the greatest of excitement pre vailed. The wonder is that several men were not killed, for when Smiley fired the six shots, the sidewalk was crowded with people. The weapons used were not the parlor pistols, but the brand in tended to kill, almost regardless of dis tance. One of the balls from Smiiey's pistol went through a signboard and buried itself in another. The mark on the door post, made by the ball which killed Smiley, is full six feet from the sidewalk Nine niee out of ten would have escaped, as the deadly missile would have passed harmlessly over. Alexander, at last accounts, was suf fering greatly, and is not expected to live. Forms of Lightning. A flash of lightning is a very large spark of electricity just the same thing that one sees aiven by an electric ma chine in a lecture on Natural Philos ophy, the only difference being that the best machine will not give a spark more than a yard long, while some U ashes f lightning have been estimated to be several miles iu length. Accord ing to their appearance, various names have'betn given to these sparks in the sky, though in reality all the several kinds are one and the same tiling. On a- warrh'sumnier evening one often sees tliH clouds on the horizon lit up with brilliant sjows of hyhtuing, unaccom panied by any sound of thunder. To tliis appearance the nam 3 o "beat lightning' has Leon given, and the warm weather is often assigned as i's cause. Iii point of fact tho heat light ning is only that of a thunder shower so far off that, while the observer can see the ll.ish, no sound of thunder reaches' him, and the intervening clouds veil and reflect the 11 ssh until it becomes a glow instead f the sharp streak usually seen. Where the flash, starting from or.ft point, branches out and divides into several parts, it has re! ceived the name of " forked lightning.'' This is usually seen when the discharge is near the observer. Single flashes bearing a zigzag or crinkled aspect ate denominated " chain lightning" prob ably from their resemblance to a chain thrown loosely on the ground. Again, when sereral discharges occur from about the same place at the same time, and are screened by rain or clouds so as to light up the heaveos with a broad, bright glow, the title of "sheet light ning" is applied. These four comprise all the common forms. There is, how ever, one rare manifestation, called ' ball lightning." In this phenomenon a small globe or ball of apparent fire rolls slowly along the ground, and after a time suddenly explodes, scattering destruction around. There are few in stances of this on record, and no very satisfactory explanation has ever ac counted for this curious appearance. Y'hen a Borrower is Happy. Your true borrower is never happy unless he is allowed to bind himself legally to repay the money, and will joyfully sign any number of promissory notes or give you a bill of sale on the rubbish he calls his furniture. " You have my I O U," he urges solemnly and conclusively. Once upon a time a French - Deputy was returned to the Chambers on the strength of a promise to procure for his native town a bridge, a park, and a grant of public money wherewith to keep it up. But time passed, the Assembly was dissolved, and the Deputy had to seek re-election ; but neither bridge nor park nor grant had been conceded. He knew not what to say on the subject when he had to face the electors; but, in a moment of happy inspiration, he spoke thus: "Messieurs and fellow-citizens, with regard to our bridge and park, what I said to you two years ago I repeat in the most solemn and public manner. A promise with me is a sacred thing; and what I promised jcu before I promise you still." And the peasants said to each other: "See, be is an honest man ; we shall do well to vote for him; what he says he sticks to; he does not back out of his prom ises.' Daiik red gloves have been imported for the use of ladies who have walking suits for the popular garnet shades. Tho Prince of. Wales as a Good Eel low. London Letter. 1 was present last night at a cosy club gathering of actors and journalists, when by chance the conversation turned on the royal family. Speaking of H. R. H., the Prince of Wales, one of my friends, a comedian of some endurance, said : ' Some years since the Prince of Wales was crossing the stage of Drury Lane Theater, smokiDg a cigar. He was accompanied by Mr. F. Chatterton, who was at that time manager of the Lane. A zealous fireman, praiseworthily oblivi ous of the rank of Mr. Chatterton's dis tinguished guest, stepped up to his mauager, and in low, but respectable tones called that gentleman's attention to the fact of the prince's smoking. On retiring, his royal highness, asked Mr. Chatterton the cause of his having been accosted, whereupon the manager re peated the fi reman's words. In a moment the cigar wa3 put out and the fireman summoned. After complimenting him on his zeal and no one can say a grace ful thing more gracefully than the prince he inquired his name and pre sented the fireman with a sovereign. Some years after that the prince was on the stage of Court Theater in company with Mr. Hare, the manager. To every body's surprise he, after looking earnest ly at the fireman who was present, said, ' Your name is Nicholas, is it not 1 How long is it since you left Drury Lane?' The interview, as genial and pleasant as before, ended as before, with the prince again tipping the fireman with a sover eign." Now this little anecdote which, unlike many of the charming stories that are purveyed by London correspon dents for the American market, is per fectly true exhibits a well-known trait in the Prince of Wales' character in a forcible light. He never forgets. It is a characteristic that is peculiar to the younger members of the royal family, but those who best know them declare that the unfeigned simplicity of the Prince of Wales is charming. My friend, George Henty, wbo was special corre spondent of the Standard during the prince's tour in India, tells several anec doles which prove this. Chatting with him at Madras, the prince said, " I had a letter from my wife this morning. She tells me she reads all the papers. She likes the accounts in the Standard and Daily News the best." " My wife," not " the princess." Now it is singular that not one of the Prince of Wales' brothers, with the exception, perhaps, of Prince Leopold, possesses this art of charming everybody. As for the Duke of Edinburgh well, I recollect ones asking a distinguished special corre spondent if he had ever come into per sonal contact with Prince Alfred, whereto he replied, " Yes, and I am not very anxious to repeat the experience." " Why ?" I inquired. " W hy, to begin with, ho is rather a bore as a conversa tionalist, and he is forever wanting you to puff the fellows he takes an interest in. Fiddlers, and Russian painters, and so forth." Well Done. I'linliury Keiia.l Young housekeepers have to acquire a knowledge of domestic duties by care ful gradation. A Nelsm-strcet bride having occasion to boil eggs for break fast, got the desired time for cooking and put them in. Her husband liked his eggs soft, and three minutes was the time allowed to nii-.ke them palatable. She stationed herself in front of the clock, because she did not dare to de pend on her memory, and looked at its fate with awful intensity. Her husband found her when he came into the kitchen, and finding out what she was doing, asked her how long the eags had been in. One minute," she answered. He wont to tiie sink and turned over the pans, and spread out his legs in front of the glass, and felt of Ids nose, and moved to the window and stared out at the scenery. Finally he said: " Aint they about doue, Maria?" " Not yet;" she said. " It seems to hip those eggs have been cooking fifteen minutes," he exclaimed. Well, they aint been cooking but a minute and a half by this clock," she positively asserted. " Then all I've got to say," exclaimed the fidgety man, after a pause, " is that it is the longest minute aud a half that I ever saw." There was a pause. ' Well, Maria," he broke out, " let's have the eggs, and I 'II run the risk. I know it is half an hour since I came in Letc."' i- Do you suppose I'm blind and can't see a clock! (t is only two minutes these eggs were put in the water. Here's the hand," said she. pointing to the hour hand, "and it has only gone over those two dots, and each one of them is a minute aint it ?' ' ' Yes. each one of Ultra is a minute when the minute hand indicates them," he coincided with smothered sarcasm ; "and when the hour hand does it, each one of them is twelve minutes; or in other words, those eggs have been cook ing just twenty-four minutes, and as we have no cold chisel I shall be obliged to omit eggs on this occasion." And with this he plumped moodily into a chair, and she burst into tears. A Texas Cave. San Aulonio F.xjrcss. A number of gentlemen made an ef fort a fews days ago to find a cave lo cated on the hillside about three-fourths of a mile above San Pedro Springs. But little is known by our citizens regarding this subterranean cavern. A small opening in it continues downward and in ditlt rent directions, to a great depth. During the year 1S74, having been told that a vast amount of money had been deposited in the cave, Fred. Bader, Andrew Ronnet and others resolved to enter the cave and explore it, as well as test the truth of the report. Upwards of one thousand feet of rope were ob tained and Messrs. Ronnet and Bader descended as far as the rope would al low them. Three different rooms were found. The first room was calculated to be about, thirty feet below the surface, and was 18x40 in size. It wa3 with great difficulty that the third room was reached, and when the rope was all used a Btream of rushing water was struck. Mr. Bader states that he waded into the stream until the water came almost to his arm-pits. It was very swift, and the dashing of the water over the rocks and down declines created a roar that was constant and almost deafening. An other expedition is being gotten up to explore this cave. It is only a half hour's walk from San Pedro Springs. "George, will you love me when I'm old," she wrarbled, as she sat at dinner with her young husband. "Oh, tell me, when the sun of rnv life is slowly sinking in the golden "West, and when the wild winds of age are whistling about me, when the'snowy flakes ot time are falling fast upon me, will you love me then as now?" "Don't know, Marie," said the unfeeling brute, aa he backed away from a plate f liver and bacon; "it depends altogether on what kiud of ballet girls are playing at the opera house, and what kind of a bundle you make when you get old. Edenburg Herald. THE l'OLnTTABT.; BT ELLA WHEEIKH. ) I am sick of love reciprocated, . Of hones fulfilled, ambition gratified. Life holds no thing to be anticiiated, And I am sad from being satutied. The eager joy fult climbing up the mountain Has left me, now the highest peak is gained. Tbe crystal spray that fell from Fame's fair fountain Was sweeter than the waters were when chained. The gilded apple which the world calls pleasure, And which I purchased with my youth and strength. Pleased me a moment. But the empty treasure Lost all its luster, and grew dim at length. And love, all growing with a golden glory, Delighted me a leasou with it tale, st pleased the longest, hut at la.-4 the story, So oft repeated, to my heart grew stale. lived for self, and all I aalced was given. 1 have had all, and now am sick of bliss. No other punishimnt designed by heaven Could strike me lialf sofejrcibly aa thia. I ieel no sense of aught, but enervation In all the joys my seliish aims have bro't, Aud know no wish but for annihilation, Since that would give me freedom from all tho t. O, blest is be who has some aim defeated ; Sonic mighty lass to balance all his gain. For him there is a hope not yet completed; For him life yet has draughts of jy and pain. But cured is he who knows no balked ambition, No hoiH-less ho, no loss lieyond repair. But sick and sated with complete fruition, Keeps not the pleasure even of despair. Chicago Inter-Ocean. WAIFS AND WHIMS. The Boston Commercial Bulletin Bpeaks f our 'steamed contemporary the yster. There is something saddening about i pair of scissors alas! they only meet x sever. The kind wife who has a smile for her iiusband when he comes into the bouse will not drive him to a salooa to get one. Champagne is known bv its fizz, and ihe champagne drinker is known by his What an object of pity that man is whose extreme sense of dignity won't illow him t3 have any fan in this world S"? racuse Herald: If we are to believe i local paner, they season the fog at Sew Haven, warm it, and serve it out Lo the poor for soup. Texas girls like to have arms around their waists. A brace of revolvers and i pair of bowie knives constitute a well jquipped Texas belle's arm-ament. Question (by Sunday school teacher) : ' Why did the Lord drive Adam out of the Garden of Eden ?" Answer (by boy who had been to the Zoo) " Because Adam gave tobacco to the monkeys." Three cigars in a man's vest pocket laved his life from a bullet fired by a Nevada ruffian. If your life is worth laving, do not neglect to purchase three sen-cent cigars. Tua Indians with Ouray eat fix square meals a day, first eating all the meat, then all the bread, then all the butter, and so on down to the horse radish, where they stop. An East Boston man sent a cofSn to a friend as a practical joke, and the man who received it went and sold it to an undertaker for $17, and is ready to be made th victim of just such another humorous trick. The city editor of the Leader has sued a man sor $200 for money loaned. Two hundred dollars! A city editor I! Money to loan!!! Why, what are 1 Bless our souls, this looks 1 There is need of an investigation here. Des Moines Register. The height of revenge has been in vented by a email boy in Conshohokeh. A correspondent writes that the lad goes to school there and having been offended by her teacher's ruling, threat ened to draw her on his slate "with her nose a-runmn'." an aged invalid required a nurse. A friend knew of a very excellent person. "How old is she?" inquired the invalid. "About eighteen; but she looks to be thirty." "She won't do," said the in valid; "I prefer one that is thirty, who looks to be eighteen." They had their usual evening quarrel as they sat by the hearth. On one side lay quietly a blinking dog, and on the other a purring cat; and tho old woman pleaded with' her growling husband: "Yust look at dat gat unt tog; they never gwarrels unt fights like us." "Yah," said the old growler; "I know dot; but yust die dem together one dime, und den you see blazes!" A boy in a fc'anday-school proposed a question to be answered tho following Sunday: "How many letters does the Bible contain?" The answer was three millions five hundred and thirty thous and three hundred and thirty-three. The superintendent' says to James, "Is that right?" "No sir," was the prompt reply. "Will you please tell us how many there are, then!" "Twenty-six, sir." They were fitting silently by the par lor lire, iutently watching the hands of the cleick as they slowly crawled around to the biggest striking place, when she suddenly said: "Mr. Lourdaud, can you tell me why you are like a century plant?" Mr. L. nervously readjusting his eye glass, wriggled about in his chair and stammered, "Be be caw caw cause I sh sh shall 1 1 live for for forever?" "No, you dunce; it's because it takes you so long to leave!" The conundrum stuck the obtuse young man with such force that he flew out of the front door and the clatter of his heels on the pavement sounded like the rattling of a lath on a picket fence. TnE Buffalo Express thinks Adelaide Neilson should manage to eke out a rather comfortable existence from her professional rewards. When in that city, the other day, she favored the officials of the Bank of Commerce with a pleasant call, for the purpose, of ex changing $14,000 f orUnited States bonds. Miss Neilson was accommodated, and carried away the securities. Speaking of her performance at Rochester, the Herald of that city says the receipts were the largest of any single perform ance ever given in Rochester, aggregat ing $ 1,300.02. An interesting gentleman has just le vanted from Bradford Pa., leaving, as the Associated Press agent at that place 6ays, "two wives and large families." As he adds that the "wives" are sisters and that both live in the same house it is evident that a new phase of marital life in Pennsvlvania has come into view. It appears the absconder was "a promi nent citizen and a member of the Health Board." Declininu Tears of Fast Horses. The cruel fate which ot artakes many of the famous race-horses after they have lost theiir power to win money for their callous masters, is illustrated in the career of Ambo, the fastest English mile horse of his day. He was con signed to a coach, and at length found in a ditch, stoned to death. Mameluke was drawing a cab after having won seventeen ra:es. He was inflicted with incurable stiinghalt, and sold for less than $20. At length he was worked in an omnibus. There he was cruellvused, the stringhalt sadly aggravating his tor ture. The skin was rubbed from hii shoulders, his hips and his haunches were bruised in every part, and his stifles were continually and painfully coming in contact with the pole. He was seen by the veterinary surgeon to the London Society for the Prevention of Cruelty ta Animals, and bought to be slaughtered. NEW ADVERTISEMENTS. H. W. O OTITIS, Watches, Jewelry & Silverware. Large stock and low prices. SMITH'S OLD STAND, Knoxville, : Tennessee. fci:5."o0ir. It AM AGE & CO. tlouars ai Job Mft And Denier in ITA.iNrCY GOODS, Opptmite Oowau, McCluu.e A Co. KNOXVILLE, TENNESSEE. Eemileitkeepinsr a full and complete stock ot efrr tiling in the way of Stationary, w do a Jul! I'KINTINU bimiueHK in all lU liranelit'i. guaran teeing our work as lirxtclaaii ami at an low prices ait good work citu Ue doue for. Order by mail will ue promptly attended to. uugU'it ly KNOXVILLE FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY, Office East Tennessee National Pink. CAPITAL STOCK 8100,000. OFFICERS. P. A. CAHPKNTEK, rHF8iuEiT. r. 11 Mc:LI' NO. Vi. r.PHrsiiiBNT. COLUMBUS l'OWJSLL, BKeuETAUV A TuEAB," DIRECTORS. JOSEPH JACQUES, A. (JALUWUJi, K. K. .1. S N FOKI, !. S. B. Ll'TTKKlih. K W. W. WOOOUL K, 1. M. MHIIIKK,' W. TA Y liOlt, bu. K. LUCKY, O.JACKSON. 11. Hi'CLl N(J. FINANCE COMMITTEE. JOSEPH JAQCES. C. M. AHUHEK, J. SANFoltD, , K. LUCKY. STOCKHOLDERS. C. M. M Cboe, Joseph Jti'iues, fc . J, Sanford, Joseph H. KarnOHt, A.J. Allvra, A J. MountcaHtle, W, A. Anderuon, S. T. Loean, It. C. Jackson, W. P. Cbauiberlaiu, 1). T. Boynton. J. Y. Johmton, James L. OaiueH, T S. W ebb, W. P. Washburn, John E. Chapman.. Jos. T. MrTeer. K. O. Powell, S. Saltniarch, TIk s. L. Willinnis, J. I. lloxsio. F. If. HcCiuner. 1. A . Carpenter; W. W. Woodrull, A. Caldwell, M. Ii. Kos. F. W. Taylor nr. J. V. Fiilkerson, ti. V. Palmer, H. II. Luttrell. M.J. Condon, bus. 11. ISrown, Hugh Martin, C, K. Lucky, li. K. Knrnest, K. T. Wilson, Tbos. O'CoDiie", John . Karuest, N. lloEiirt. K, M . alien." .1. W . Lillard, I). F. Itohs, sill! M Til ly J. S. MERCHANT TAILOR, Morristown, Tcnn. First-Class Work, Graceful & Stvlish, No Misfits. II living adopted Morristown as my future hom, I solii it tbe patronage ot a 'tierom public. V itli an experienced 2Xyears.l teel sa in eiiHranteein.; pc T t satisfaction. Cents' ami !' Kariiienti cu 1 mi.le e.iial to any U. the Stale. Ln-lies coatsand iiatiitROX'iniaitoly rut ami made, trices as low as k"m1 work can bo done f r this '"" Country prod lire taken in exchange for work. Cloaiiintl ami repairing uettly exe.:iiteil. " k none with precision. I'lim-tuality a specialty, r u ropeau and Aui'-rican lasbioiis constancy on band . 1 invite all to call u p.m ni at mv eloip, ne.irly op pnvito Commercial Hotel, Main ulreet. jullti7y-ly J. S. MI I.I-KK. TONSORIAL. By Mack Fulton, At the fJrignby IIoiho, MORKFSTO WN, THNNIC.S I' ?Tl solie't th "1ib c pnfronae, an I w .u'd s iv Hi it 1 c-.ii Kivosiitisi'acii-oi either i' a clean, neat shave hair nit. hair dress, clean sham, or u i levant whisker or moustache d)e. Tciius e -od-ei ale. FOR THE flaeoai:D KKJB"lPvn4J-i ... i-J H i lia not fall ta at h yaur.TIf Ufrt rvarta by I lie NASHVILLE, CHATTANOOGA & ST. LOUIS R. n. TToa speed, fety and comfort, yon will find this 1? line to be unrialed. For tne celebrated Spines and bnmnier Kesorts, hound trip ticket can be purchased at all principal othces. .im granls wishing t to West, either to locate or b prospector, will find it to their advantage to go Ly this rente, ltound Trip emigrant ticket- on sale to Texas points, through co; he are run from Cuat tanoog.. to Columbu withoat change. Sleeping Coaches on all night train. Good Coaches, Good Road and Quick Time. Leave Chattanoofra... liridgeport Meveuaon Cowan..... llecherd - Tnilahoma .... Wartrace , M n r f reesbo ro' Arrive Nashville.... Leave Nashville Arrive McKeuzie...... II (1 am 12 in pm 12 SI pm 1 33 pm 1 4r pm 2 1ft pm ...... 2 4" pm ....a 3 43 pm .. 5 w pin S 1H pm .......!! 10 pm 2 40 pm In i .'i pm 10 M rm 11 4ii pm 11 m pm Vi am 1 oi am 2 lr am 4 do am 4 is) am 11 40 am 2 13 pm ti Vi pm ft in am 6 13 am Martin - Cnion ity ..- 4 30 am Memphis..... - 9 pm fct. l.oui 2.'' put For maps, timetable and all information in re gard to this route, call on or addres W. L P i N I K Y , Gen. Pas, and Ticket Agt., Nahville, Tenn. WM.T. UOiifcKS. Taa. Alt.. Chattanooga. Tenn. A. M. WHkM.MC. janll'79 tf Trav. Agt., Atlanta, Ga. D. W. C. ID-A.VTS, Watch Maker ADD JEWFLEI!, HorrUloma, Tea". ABnonneetothepnbllo that he Is now prepared t do all kinds of wor lu hi line at the uiot at iefidury price. RKPAIIiING Clock, Watche and Jewelry of all kinds attended to witu promptness and in the very best lyle. Any ai to te of Jewelry ordered ou short notice aud sat is. faction guaranteed. aug.'T j ly 9RTH AND WEST J ' ' ' V 4 . NEW ADVKKTISEMEN'TS. w. w. wouDuirr. 1879 W; W'B WOODRUFF & CO. WJIZ HAVE DECIDED TO ADD TO OUT. UKC ITLAK II AUDWArtE VV business a line of AH niCUI.TUU AI. IMI'I. A. V;.VW, nn.l are now ,.rrj rl to furnish everytiiin iu Uut lin at Factory l'ricpt. , We sli.tll nint to keep only nuch articles m UuJ Ihe tevt cf fit'cnrme n bfinj; the VKKV 1'iLsT o tim kLml'io us We inv.t the honor to intro liu e the OLIVER CHILIXD I LOWM, ati.l we iue"re we have the irratitude of 6,0iO Partners, who are now usinir them in tliii mt'ioii. Kvcry urtii-le warranted to yave perfect satisfaction. ('rcul tra and Prices ai-nt on Pi!ilic:i!.ion. Correspondence solicited nnd all information on M schinery cheerfully five". Send foi Circulars aud Price to W. W. WOOUlUli' ft)., f -r the foil. .am implements: VIIICKTjE"R Sc MFXIOK'S CHAMPION THRESHER AND CLEANER, 18 INCH CYLINDER, SI50 CHAMPION THRESHER AND CLEANER, 22 IKCH CYLINDER, S200 The Ult and Lowest Triced TiiEEsnnns fc Cleaner in any Market. Ri and LEVER POWERS, CLOVER HULLERS and CLEANERS 3IXXISJOX3 2ViyVOIXIINJ3C:t HORSE RAKES, PULVERIZING WHEEL HARROWS. Ylu,h-Mile Aj'uts f'r (he iiowe ;i:rvi:vci ivioiiiivit: com'V, SKN1 KOH tlUCLLAUS AM) THICK LIT. Brennan & Co. Kentucky Grain Drill This Drill will w k in Und where other drill will fail. The only Urill th-tt v. II not choke or do in I'illllY LAND; of lent draft thia any other ; retiire tint nn inn nd two horses. We believe this will work a great a revolution in Grain IriIU nt the Oliver f hilled Plow has among otner Plowi. Send for V irculi.rs in 1 Price t W. W. WOODKUFK CO. Cider HSIills', Sinclair Straw Cutters, "Wheat lVns, ()!!,, ( lnlhd ri.nr., JhmUoS'wrtl i'tK1lr tr,t h'lim, Z-HoU.,- Cw MUL-, 2-HJhf Cm MM, PaU'iil ( !nh:t n iz Kv mvj.ivi ati'l I'tini'fr', CiiTliti'r S 'Tfy, JiVr.-s '(': l'ri"( Si !, StfOar Ktock of General Hardware will he kept roniplele m l full, mi l i!l meet cuiiijictiiioii from any iiurter. OrJers by wail promptly tilled. W. W. WOODRUFF 6c CO., xxoxvillk, tf:xn. GEO. BROWN ivnoxville, rrisrviv. (! in nil Ay nl for tin'. Sil: j ll'i hub south Which ia fast, Huporccdiii ail other two and three Lorao Plow. THE BEST PLOY IN THE WORLD I . ! V,,,. - ,n- r ' - r J r ilis(lieolenen"rforthc:nleor the .STCDF.nAKKIi WAGONS prica rdu . I $7210, iu-l.i.liii- brike on box hii I runnini? geftrand "I'l-i'' uv , ... ,,, ....... S .I.. n.M.t in Kast Tcnne,see f the sale of Ill'SSKLL fc .'.SNl.W M AvllXOS TIlUlvSllKKS. Horse Powers and the re;iiri for the aame. Tin dw midline of K iv,, ,1 hn a clover Miller p.nd cieanr dttnehment, which cn he a't tf he 1 at any tune t a c t of only $"0.0n, hii I is fir the beet rnT"hine oa the market. S-n I for circular. We keep a Ltr;; stock of all kin I of Agricultural Inij-lemeuti and retur, imliilu Iters, Iters, Self-Biiiers, Grain-Drills, Avery's Ste;l PIgts, At ihcI ry rrico. John Pecre Steel Tlowa, Coate'a Lock-Lerer IUkea, Finrlair Straw t'ul tersFhh Kros. Wajjoua (very cheap), Doable-ihovel fiowi, and aleel nhorel ao l hull tongue I Hades, .. . aRASS SEED S?y Clover, Timothy, Orchard Gras nnd German MilletL We keep the Lurffeat fcteckf ed kept by any house in the West, and sell for the Tery Iowet caah price. Commission Merchant, Sellall kinds of country rrodnce and make liberal advancement. Mild, MAC JUNKllV ff every kind furnUhed, aUo Meam Kngine. z .l-All bu8iuea tntrut-ted to us will receive f rompt attention. J" GEO. BROWN. aprl'7tf IP. IML WIXjXjIJLIvI 3. WHOLESALE PRODUCE & COMMISSION MERCHANT DEALEB WHEAT, COIiX, OATS, HAY, FLOUU, LAUD, BACOX, Dill EH J FllUIl, dr. Cash Advanced on Produce In Store. Warehouse: Old Virginia Depot, on Eailroad Track, KNOXVJLLE, TENNESSEE. may2S'79-ly J. W. GAUT & SON, lolesale Proflnce an J Commission Hereto! No. 203 Gay Stroot, Knoxville, Tcnn. Keueives Conhifumeit.i of all kinds of Produce, u 1 Bay WHEAT, COllX, OATS, RYE, HAY, XACOX. LARD, F LOU 11, DRIED FKUF1, FEATHERS, fc. For which the liii;het market prica ia paid. When dedred, liter! a4van ' u consign menti Charges liberal and iUiIciion jninranteed. aug ij u- 1'uirlaiiV Si'?; &-t!i, Ml'l 1'imlln'j, I'untli Itinf Mill 1UU (. (tioirrtf, (tiim IU Itui' ami J'ml.iii'f, Jhiuhli' mul Sili '!' Sunlit ( rt Sl' Vi i', lkxkf Shdht cii'l S ir'i'"r. on era IX