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I II K AUTUMN HAIN.
D wn falls tin autumn Mia, 1 .arp MtrinKH aainm INW I U KIhiii nUfht Pirn . low, flow, flow. Ill rtteatl.V fllrfllt Tlx' wnilida nwitk. ami fl.V, Awak , uil multlnly Now lat, now hIow . S .1 IiiuIowh Htalk tlit- earth. Wind rour lu riotoiiH mirth Kuxh. null, ruth, ruh. Tli' NBkW ItcniU mil I sway, 'I'ln' ruin wttt'M ami It pray ; (Mi hmr wind huah. The uk moan ami liarxh creak, 1 bi n .l-Hi urr(l ample h aktt Mow, Slow, blow, HOW) Tbi v mi mHMl the wall Ottngi eloM IhuikIi" In ik ami tall, I In liloaaoutH go LMTM flTOOf ami fold on fold I.ikf littli wavcH urc rolled. Fall. fall, fall, fall. UraH Untie like dafMf .- t - I, J'.rokc mullet in the nladi Ton it In r matted crawl. Swallow in chimin's ifcMp Mown from hir Mwity lec Drip, driji, drip, orip. Cat at the luarth-ot ue lie, ltinl 'tw.en Itllit and the nkic, Ilia cup at ci m l lip. '1 In window-curtain kIowIv atira, NVi athercock without xliarp whirr - Hain ih falling fuxtcr. Around the uoiikc, up rutfKcii wired, Hiinoiih of ihe Bight-atom hwi . p : Kitrtli hath found II- iiiunti i'. Flow, flow. flow. flow. A thoiiMand pool an- brteUKtSfl ! The autumn hurp i hyiuuiuu M ImlioiiH HtraitiH and idow. It dlM away at break of day : The world ih wet and MM and pa'.c. Ami tellH a dreary winter' tale. THE HUBBEREsVb DOUBLE. On the 23d of May, 1832, Man Hand, iln keeper f huckster shop in the village of Houghton, in the oountj of 1 urham, Kngland, ATOM early, M &he WH going to make some purchases in a neighboring town. It wan just day iti . nk h ihe opened the curtains of bet bedroom and looked forth. Immediately in the rear of her house was the open country, and In the field adjoining ner premise! ihe observed i man digging. ' thia waa no unuaual eight, ahe paid no i articular att ntion to it, but dressed and went about getting her breakfast. v i .. we agaged at the fire, shadow led the window anil she looked up. kt the same moment tall, strongly-built man presented himself at the doorway. Mo-. Kand started and g tve a shout, the man stepped into the room, and seizing I knife which lay on the table, he said : "Curse yon, DC still: or I'll make a hole in you I" The woman dropped into a chair and sun .i nt n d her alarm. "Win re's your husband?" the man aakedi 44 My husband lias been dead five y art:,' was the answer. " Who is there in the hoOBfl vitii you r" ') man inquired. Only niv two boys, tv. thre and four teen, and they're upstairs, last asleep," the woman anewerecL 44 That's lucky for you," said tlie man ; "(onie. bustle and get DM BOOM break fast." Ih" woman with much fear and trem bling complied, ami the man ate a hearty meal, and drank a quart of home brewed al When he waa through he said i 4 V u get up early, mistress. But for the light m your window I should have mise a good bn akfast. I happened to DC m ar by, so I jumped the fence ami called in to lee you." The woman then for the tirst time identified her visitor as tin man whom she had seen digging iu the Held behind the house. After pause the man asked, 44 have you tot an J of your husband's clothes?" "Tee, 1 have," was the reply, "and won't part with them." 44 Would tbej tii DM?" the man asked. " Mv husband was just your rise," Mis. Hand said. "Look here," Haiti the num, taking up B Knife from the table and toying with ih. it ; I want you to lend me a good suit of your husband's clothes, and I'll return I it to-night. Don't say no," he added. 44 for then I'll have to make you." The woman, in great trepidation and j fear, said she would have to go up BteJ -for the clothes, wdiereupon tlie man said 1m would accompany her. The clothes were procured, and the man Instated on , the woman's remaining in tLe room while he removed his old worn garment. and put OS a suit of the dead Mr. Hand, i "How," said he, 44 if any one asks who I am, yon must say I am your hus bands brother, just returned from sea." The woman then explained that she Waa going to town, whereupon the man said : 4 That's rirst-rate, and I'll go with .you." The poor woman wai greatly taken aback, but durst not decline, and having aroused her two boys, aha left the small shop in their charge and started for town, acoonipanied by the man. When they reached the suburbs of the town the man suddenly disappeared, and that was all the woman saw of him. When Mrs. Hand returned home the same afternoon, the village was in a fear ful state of consternation. At eight o'clock that morning, Mr. Greene, who tended at Houghton Hall and owned property adjacent worth fifty thousand doll. os a year, had been found in his bedrcOJ murdered. The hall stood Only about one hundred yards from I treet known as the Quay( the village consisting of throe thoroughfares in the form of ail arrow head. Mr. GlSSM .1 w idower and childless ; he was o t titty vesifl Of age, and was much respected for his simplicity of manners and generosity. Investigation showed that I wall over thirteen fect Inch, which shut off the garden from the quay, had been I, and t perpetrator of the crime had entered Ins house by climbing a hdjUTttlim tree whOSS branches extended almost to the window of Mr. Greene'a bedroom on the eeooekl floor. He en tared, it waa thought, early in the even ing, and concealed himself in the gar den, and later 00 scrambled up to the Od story window. Mr. (treenewas found lying on the Boor close by i desk, at which he hail evidently been sitting when eaaaulted in the rear." A lowel had been Hung over his head and then hisas MHHHin had strangled him, as waa evident tomi the miuks on tflS dead man's thfOSt, His desk had b n rifled, but it was not known that any money, or anything of " bad been taken, m nobodv was cognizant of Mr. ( irunuc's private arbors. H ii AH . Kand heard the storv of the . has mysUriou8 guest of the morning aroau to her mind, and she oould not help aasxx'iating nun with the murder of Mr. Greene. The fact of his digging iu the field behind her house suggested the possibility of hit having hioaen away plunder. All the evening those things dwelt iu her thought, mill she wan once on the point of coin munioating the whole story to the police. She hesitated, however, to do ho from ih lriui of hfitiir mixed up in the dreadful affair, and finally resolved to keen the viait of the man and all con nected with it a secret. The officers of the law hail meauwhile scoured the neighborhood to discever the murderer, and in Sunderland, the town to which Mrs. Hand hud gone with In : unwelcome companion, it waa ascer tained that on the morning utter the murder a man and woman had been seen to enter the town together, and soon af terward separate. A farm laborer resid- ing in Herrington, a village half-way he tween Houghton and Sunderland, awan to having seen the same man and woman parsing through the place at about seven o'clock on the morning of the day in iptestioH. Finally, a tcllgate-keoper identified the woman as Mrs. Rand, and the author ities visited her house to make inquiries. In her fear she denied having been with the man, but in such ft way aa to excite suspicion that she was lying. Her house was searched and under the bed in her own room was found the clothing worn by her strange visitor, which lu had exchanged for a suit of her hus band's. The clothes WON coarse and patched, and such as might have been worn bv a lighterman or river laborer In the pocket of the jacket was found a bundle of letters. These proved to be of the greatest possible value, for they were addressed to the murdered man, Mr. Greene, and were front a younger brother, asking for loans of money, and promising amendment of life. Thisdis OOYOTJ left no noubt in the minds of the authorities that the wearer of these clothes was the assassin of Mr. Greene When Mrs. Hand learned that they had found tho clothes, and that they contained letters evidently stolen from Mr. Greene, she was in a dreadful state of excitement, and begged to be allowed to make a statement. Then ahe told of the man's visit, as already narrated, and of his having been seen digging in the field. She pointed OUI I he ipol as nearly as she could, and after a short search a new dv-disturbed mold was fount It was dug up, and a tin box contain inir several hundred pounds was discovered. Paperi in it showed that it was the prop eitv of Mr. Greene. Renewed search was made for the man, but all to no pur pose. Mrs. Hand was arrested, and was finally held to await the action of the grand jury, as accessory after the fact. She was tried, and, thanks to her previ ous good character, was acquitted. In the meantime the dead Mr. Greene'a younger brother had taken possession of the hall as next of kin. He had not been at the family seat for twenty years, having, when a mere youth, seduced his ow n COUSin, and been driven forth to live tin life of a vagabond. Nothing had been heard of him for years, and it was generally believed that he was dead until the letters found in the clothes dis covered in Mrs. Hand's house showed by their data that he was alive ami iu England. The new Squire lived a seclu ded life, and became remarkable for his abstemiousness. The cousin whom he had w ronged was h Ing in retirement onspenjobn granted by the deceased Bquire, and hie eiiooas OT, six months after taking possession of the estate, sought t remedy the evil he had wrought by privately marrying tho now mature woman ami installing her mistress of the hall. The new couple lived in the greatest harmony, and within a twelve-month of their mar riage an lieir was born. Ihev kept no 00mV7 au1 it Went beyond lm'-'mct f their own domain. the in i ne second year ot their married lite they drove into Sunderland, and re turning the same night, an accident hap pened to the carriage just as they were entering Houghton, and they had to wait until another vehicle was sent for to convey them home. The villagers were drawn from their houses by the exciting vent, and among them was Mrs. Band! The moment she beheld Bquire Greene she exclaimed : 44 Good Lord ! there is the man that I saw digging in the fleld, and that come into my house and made me get his breakfast, and then swopped his clothes i for my husband's." These words were overheard by one Makepeace, a village eonstable,and rept at ed next day to the rector, w ho was a magis trate. So much importance was attached to them that Mrs. Band was sent for, and privately examined by the magis tral s. She swore positively that Squire Greene wss the man who paid her the mysterious visit, and accompanied her to Sunderland. Tl iere was but one thing to do to arrest Bquire Greene for the murder of his own brother. This was dons, aud Mrs. Hand's identification of him was complete. It will be remem bered that When Mrs. Kind's stiange ! visitor changed his clothes for her de ceased husband's, he would not trust the woman out of his presence, but insisted that she should remain in tho room. When he removed his shirt he remarked that he could see behind him, as he had two heads, at the same time pointing out a won between his shoulders, which closely resembled a rudimentary head. On examination, Squire (ireene was found to have an excrescence in the same place and precis ly similar to that on the strange man, as described by Mrs. Kami. There wius an attempt mode to prove an alibi, but it wiis shown by the prosecu tion that at the time of the murder of the late Bquire, his brother was living in the slums of a low street in Sunderland; that ha disappeared for a day ; and on his return waa llush of monev. He plained this by stating that'll.' wont to i Houghton by appointment, met Ii other the v r evening before the mur der, and Reserved from him one hundred pounds to Been re himself a decent outfit prior to his returning home to lead a new life. This story was not credited, ami the Stiiire was tried and found guilty, and hanged at Durham. Two years or more after this, the w i.low Hand was at work early on a Mmi day morning, hanging out clothes in her i the Postotticc hepartment, amoanting garden. Suddenly the visit of the in value to $2,005,000. This wile is prob strange man years before, and th dread- , ably the largest ever made by the JDe ltd tiagedy that followed with its awful piniment w ithin the time mentioned, and equal, arose in her mind, and she me- 1 may he regarded aa one of the iudica cli mically turned her eyeR toward the j tions of a revival oi business throughout j spot where huo had first seen the wan the country. digging iu the Held. Waa she crazed or dreaming i There in the very place waa the name man, digging as before ! She entered the house, ludf fainting, and briefly told the Htory to her houh, who were now stalwart young men. They went into the garden, and there, Htire enough, waa the man. In two nun uteH they had their gunH ready, ami one of them panned round the hedge to the gate below where the man was, while the other took up a position near a low stunt wall which cut off part of the tteld from an open lot. Hoth showed themselves at one time, and called out to the man. He started up and prepared to fly. In a moment the young men closed in on him, covering him with their weapons. When he saw he was hopelessly entrap ped, he dropped to the ground, and al lowed himself t be captured. As they led him through the street Mrs. Hand confronted him. lie was the double of the man who had visited her the morn ing after the Squire's murder, and bore a striking resemblance to the late squire, wdio had been hanged as his brother's as sossin, even to the wen Wttieh hail made Mrs. Hand's identification fatal. The authorities were sorely perplexed, but the man admitted that he waa the mur derer ot Squire ( Ireene, and that he had come back in the hope of finding the money he hid buried there the morning after the perpetration of his crime, lb gave his name as John Sedlev. He eved the county the tumble of hanging him by jumping from the top of the stage coach while crossing the bridge into Durham, and fracturing his skull against an abutment. Interesting rostabt'anl Literature. Baltimore telegram to the Chicago Wmee : The case of Crawford H. Johnson, indicted for sending through the mail of the United States postal cards with scurrilous and Indecent epii ties thereon, was fixed for trial in the United States District Court to-day. District-Attorney Sterling addressed the jury, stating that the indictment con tained five counts charging the sending of four oarda containing acurriloua epT- thets, addressed to H. ). DleXel, and one to Constable Patrick EL Dolan. The indictment was found under 8,808 of the Rorieed Statutes of the United Stab's, which subjects any one convicted of vio lating the same to a tine for each offense of not less than $KX) or more than .1,(HX and imprisonment for not less than one year or more than ten years, or both. Mr. Sterling said that with consent of o musel for the defense the jury oould remit r a verdict of guilty on the tirst ami fourth counts, and not guilty on the oth t r three, which was rendered according ly. Judge (.bios then imposed a line of 8200 and costs on Johnson, who, in de fault of payment, was subsequently com mitted to jail. Drexel was indebted to Johnson for a coal bill of 838, and went South, leaving it unpaid. On May 20, 1875, Johnson sent postal -cera ed dreeeed thus : 44 11. 0. Drexel, fliet tileee runaway thief and petty swindler, Jacksonville, Flu., aoourer and dyer and sneak-thief." On the back was written the following : You dirty, little shriveled liar, thief and vil Usa, if 1 ever lay my eyes on you taiti I will wring the none off your damned heed. You USd even to your wife ami about lier, you Inter nal scoundrel. To cull you a nneak-tliief would be to diagrast a jail-birth Your old WOltbiaM note, of t nun c, wan protested. Wiiy did vou not tell raw to save mynelf f Wit 1: OOOtMBpt, 0. H. JOHNSON. Another, forwarded on June 8, was directed to 44 H. C. Drexel, first-class rnnawaj thief and beat, Jacksonville, Phv, dyer and scom-er." It reads upon the back : The community of Jacksonville is hereby warned to bo on the lookout for a swindler, a little shriveled up. iiico-tulking man. who works for some scourer in her midst, but who is in fact a tirst-class villain, who left the city for the benefit of tlie city. Keep all yCDT gOOdS ainl valuables locked up if he ever comes with in smelling distance of them. C. II. Johnson. I'pon the HUM date the following postal card was sent to Mrs. Drexel, di rected "0. fat Drexel, No. 818 West Hoffman street, the man who pays his debts by running away from the city. " Upon the back was written the follow ing: Done to Jacksonville for his health, bat left his oonnding creditor In Baluesorotn a very Unhealthy OOOdittOO. His business is that of a MMMUef, and on his Bfoasot ctuiso down So uth lie is BeoertSf for any one who. like the writer, should be foolish enough to couaidei him hon OSV He left lot of bills here ami notes as a legacy to his friends. C. H. Johnson. Stan of the black II ills Expedition. Fort Laramie dispatch to the Chicago Jut, ,-( nn : 44 The I. lack Hills expe dition, under command of Col. Dodge, arrived here today. The Beer Lodge country, which has been reported so rich in gold, has been thoroughly sur- veysd by Prof. Jennej and party. Gold, In small quantities, was found in a nar row strip of country about twenty miles east of the Little Missouri BuUes, and singularly enough there was an utter ab sence of quartz, porphyry, magnesia, ete. Ins country is very ragged ami broken, and pyramidal mounds can be seen iu every direction. Lodge Pole Butte is a perfect mound in geological formation. It is about 1,200 (set above the level of the surrounding country : presenting the appearance of a great tower. This is the section of country thai Col. Bullock and other prominent men in the West presumed to le so rich in gold, their presumption being bused upon reports of Indians who brought in gold from tune to time. The country from the Bear Lodge via the Belle Fourche to its confluence with the Big Cheyenne, including tributaries flowing from the hills, has lcen thoroughly mapped, which makes the entire survey of the Black Hills complete. None of the country passed over will compare with the country in the vicinity of Spring and Rapid Creeks. Lrrge numbers of miners were seen en route for the Hills, " doubt some of thos Alio were en- I'rof. Jennev camped mar the post. met Home Indians coming, who modest ly requested his horses and ponies, but Upon being refused offered no violence. "' Pontage stamps. During the first fourteen days of the present month, says a Washington tele gram, postage stamps, stamped envel opes, and oostal cards have been sold by STANLEY, seooeaineg sowtoeo irm Mm i4t-Hi am- i iiii Kxplorer. From the Itndou Tflpgraph.) After a long and unbroken silence characteristic of the vast and unbroken solitudes through which Mr. Stanley and 1 ms followers Have been musing tneii way dispatches have again reached us , from this resolute and successful ex- plorer. Good news, indeed, it is V: know that one of the most adventurous and perilous journeys undertaken upon the surface of tlie dark continent has reached its first stage of triumph in the Hafe transit through a totally unknown line of country, anil the careful survey i of the shores of that magnificent lake upon the waters of which Mr. Stanley has, after all, been the first to launch an Knglish-huilt vessel. It is too true that we must qualify these epithets 44 good" and 44 safe" so far as to acknowledge that, with all his courage, skill, caution, and forethought qualities now no longer denied in any quarter to this gal lant gentleman our Commissioner has paid dear for the splendid results which he has achieved Two of the Europeans accompanying him enoouflsbod to the deadly breath of tin-jungle; and a tribute of honor and reaped la due, in the lirst place, 0 those two young Englishmen, PoOOSk and Barker, wdio have added their names to the list of the many unpretending mar tyrs who have perished for the sake of Africa. Moreover, in th-- swift and reso lute march which Mr. Stanley has made -nice quitting Mpnpwa, on the Unyan yembe road, last December, his force of soldiers and porters will be found to have diminished terribly. We shall so far anticipate the abSOCU ing particulars of that march as to shite that, by desertion, dysentery, fever and fierce fighting, as many as 1H1 of his fol lowers were found missing from the muster-roll read by the ahorse of Lake Vie toria at the beginning of March. There stood around the brave leader only 166 men when he camped at Kagehyi, in Uchnmbi; but these were well seasoned by the swift progress which Stanley hud made, and his letters, public and private, breatlie the spirit of unswei sing resolu tion and of B just satisfaction at what bad been achieved. He reports himself amply provided with men, guns, and supplies of all kinds, even at the close of this remarkable march, for that it is most remarkable will be allowed by all who know the condition of African travel. Prom Bagamoyo to the Victoria Lake is a distance of nearly 750 miles, follow ing Stanley's route, and this was ac complished in 106 days. The last expe dition which proceeded to Unyanyembe took seven months to cover that 525 miles of WeU known road, while the larger portion of Stanley's lay through a perfectly unknown district, the extraor dinary n rdships of which will be under stood when we are at liberty to lay the full details of this hardy enterprise before the public. Through matted jungles and wateriess plains, through mountain ranges and swamps, over riven and wilderness, and with or without the leave of tierce tribes new to the sight of the white mau and his wonderful goods, our Commissioner, during those first months of the year, led his men unceasingly, carrying with him idl the way his little vessel, the Lady Alice, which was at last triumph nntlv nut together and launched ou the broad - - i j boson of the TieSotia W - yauza. SnhV of all msses ami (lilticuiues, ne stood there m the 1st of March last as he w -ites -well equipped for two yaara more o gtM)d work, with men whom he could perfectly trust, and one of the most dangerous portions of this toil ac complished. We feel confident the when the story of this march to the N'yanSS is read be will take a place in public estimation worthy of the friend ami helper of Iivinsusone ; as one of the most skillful, daring, and successful of all modern travelers. His first letter desSrihfS the journey from the Unyanyembe road to the N'yanza; his 'second comprises a de scription of this splendid inland sea, w ritten after a voyage of upward of 1,000 miles made round its shores and upon its mrfaee, Qeographcrs everywhere will naturallv burn with anxiety to know what is the truth about that lake or lakes, the character of which was ever one of the main problems of African research. Speke, the discoverer, with Grant, of the Victoria, always held the water to be one and undivided. He saw an immense extent of it from Muanza, and caught ..nee and again distant proapectaoj its western glitter as he journeyed toward Uganda, while at the Kipon Falls he once more beheld what he took to la the nme great lake from the northward. Livingstone, on the other hand, from hearsay, judged the Victoria to consist of at least five small bodies of water; and this idea, that it wos made up of separate lakelets, and could not le com pared with the other inland seas of Cen tral Africa for size or depth, has of late gained much ground, especially as small er sheets have Is'eu recently found near tt to the north. We must not anticipate the revelations Of Mr. Stanley's second letter ; but we can venture to assure geographers that thev have deeply interesting matters in store for them in the account of the Lidy Alice sailing upon these virgin wave, the slow unfolding of the unvisited shores, and the discovery of fair nnd rich islands of great size set in the bosoin of this Kjiieenly lake. It will be found, bxt, we lliink, by the careful and repealed ob servations which Mr. Stanley trained himself to make SSfSIS bin departure, that many ideas derived from meas urements too blindly accepted may have to suffer doubt. Stanley makes the Vic toria N'yanza ranch higher ah Ore the s, a level than Speke just as Cameron col lected Burton and Speke about tlhe 1 Altitude of Tanganyika. It is, at least, Bl Ideal from these differences that no t heory can be securely founded BpOS isolated observations until verified, and this lias much significance for other regioi of the map besides those of the N 'y a BUUt Indians Looking for Sculps. A dispatch from Sioux City rays; "Late news from the Upper Missouri country repreaent the Indians as dissat- isrieil and insuimrdinate. The Black t Hills Treaty did not terminate to suit them, and they are on watch for an ex- . to hilt somebody, those at Obey- enne Ageucy think they have struck H m the jerson of the interpreter these, for whom they have never Ml much brotherly love, and lately he has had to exercise considerable strategy to pre serve his scalp. To-day he had to hunt safer quarters. The Indians say they nr.. lu .iin.i in kill him if he remuius. and they will not stop there when they com mence. War on Polygamy. Judge Boreman, of the Third District o,..- ;u t.harjrinff the grand jury to- (i..v ., idt Ijake teleirratu. ad- mom'sbed 11mm hi indict a UUIIIImT Ol ; individuals implicated in swindling the government out of Territory IssuU by perjury and illegal voting. He particu larly instructed the jury to indict every leader, proclaimer, or instigator of j polygamy, us they have in every way possible" shielded and prevented its' punishment. He said that jsdygainy was a loathsome ulcer and a degrading crime not emuuating from any religion, but fit ouly for the darkest days anterior ' to the dawn of civilization, causing the Mormons' bitter hostility to free schools. Continuing in this strain, the Judge con cluded bv savina that the govern un id was now in earnest and the people must moll SO this fact. Polygamy has existed so long solely hv the forbearance and generosity of the government. He said it was nonsense for the Mormons to fight against 40,000,000 of people, which they will soon realize. The United States is with them in prosperity but not in polygamy . Short Sayings. A good life is valuable, but I bad 0US i iften O eSS more. Passion is a storm, and sparea nothing. Basil Platan of labor has it; glimpse of the promised land. Every good deed that we do ia not only a prsaeni pleasure, but a prop for the future What pleases is a good only to the properly instructed. Children grow so fast WS must be on the alert, or they will escape much of our instruction, getting that of others often deleterious, as children will learn. Life is a sum; and it becomes us to do it properly, ok it can DC done but once. Most people drift. To do this is easy. It costs neither thought nor effort. On the other hand, to resist the tide one must have principle and resolution. He must watch, and pray, and struggle con tinually. And yet no thoughtful person, who can s for his soul, will dare to drift. Trouble bit win::. There is a cloud of war arising over tin fsr Northwest a war in the spring, with the natives ol that region. Jt is being I generated by tlie covetousness of the white man and the inconsistencies of his I red enemy, and is Iteing hastened upon the country by the impetuosity of hot headed gold-seekers. The clash between the Indian and the white man is as sure to come as they are to meet each other ' on lbs disputed territory, and that they : will meet seems an inevitable as the com ing of another season. The following local item from the Sioux City (Jowni ' Journal is suggestive in this connec tion: " The Illnc!; Hills excitement has not all died away, and in fact there is eon , siderable beinr none hereabouts in quiet manner. Several parties yester 1 day outfitted in thin city with the inten ' tion of making their way without much into into tlie reputeil gold country to pass 1 the winter' CMooflo Jbnrasf. Hard to Please. Last year a commercial man. generally known as a M runner," was traveling in this county, and stopped at a farmer's house in the northern part of the county, when the following conversation took place : M Well, how do you like Kansas?" M Don't like it at all, "said the farmer; 1 "you can't raise anything ; and when I you tlo, the plaguey grasshoppers take it all I I'm going to leave as soon as I can get out of it." Happening along this summer, he met the man again and tyiid : " Hello ! you here yet ?" " Yes, but I'm going to leave.'' " What are yon going to leave Yon surely have raised enough jeer." " Yes, but that's the h 1 of it. for; this (lot ! nior'n I want this year, and can't sell a cent's worth. '- N'i'fchita ( Kan. Bt SCOSk The First Loafer. Many years ago a heavy-set Dutchman in the city of New York acquired a for tune ami reesed to womanhood a hand- some daughter. A young Yankee, who had great Capacity for the enjoyment of rest, fell In love ither with the money bags of the ancient AiMterdamer or she person of his heir-at-law, or both, and made himself exceedingly plenty in and about the Dutch domicile, muonto the affliction and vexation of the parental head thereof, who, whenever he discov ered the aforesaid woer, exclaimed to his daughter, ThsSS is tbatlofer (lover) of yours, the idle, good-for-nothing," etc. And from that ebullition of pater nal wrath was born the word loafer, meaning an idle luau luuiging about, and Maturing rest in an uncomplaining ami OSTtSflAsd manner. Women aa4 Devils. Old Winston waa a negro preacher in Virginia, and hi-s ideas of theology and human nature were often very original. A gentleman thus accosted the old gentleman one Siuiday: "Winston, 1 understand you believe every woman has seven devils. How can vou prove it "Well, sah, (bd you never read in de Hible how seven tlebbles were cast out'er Mary Magalin " Oh, yes : I've read that. " " Did you abbes hear of Vm boss' cast out of any OUUt woman, sah?" " No, I never did." "Well, den, all de oddere got 'em yet." A Chicago Heiress Worth Loving for Herself Alone. 1 am proud to sav that, though I am an heiress to over S3,000,000, 1 under stand housekeeping in all its depart Hu nts thoroughly. 1 am li, but have never been in love, or even had a fancy 1 for any one; but should I man that I love ever offer himself to me I would say " Yep," though he had but f 000 a year, and, remembering the happy mar- ried life of my sister iu spite of pover- ty, I should feel assured of happiness. Chi njm IWsestg. Tin; riciANri i.ah vkk. BY JOHN (J. ISSBl I bl my Uwyer, Windy, au M iiMKiiiMir JuiifH for tUoMtfi' an Tbf plaintiff, ou ti valid ground That he. aid Jouea, bad put in pound TuiawfaUy, aKainat the peace, 1 ti r rtain nhep of fin. -t 0.-. . My property ; aud valued, aa), At taeuty dollar. " Flt-aae to la The datuauti hih, ami k ahead. Ami, Wlutly, initio huu feel," I muil. Tlie Htatut'-' full ami jedy torv )n trnpaiTH !" Henald, Of coin -. And alx month later wade report The -awe win ii liefore the OHirt. Wht n Windy' jeeoh M-i-iui d nearh di ne. Ami lie, a yet, had NHH begun 'I n tent h MM matter in 'luputo 1 growing anxlou for uy auit Said, In a liifp.-r. " Oni't forgt ' "i 'Hi lias i n'ttouched the raae aa yet : . ue talked, I know, an hour i r HUtl .Ml nit the Ntatiitc matle before TIM HofBMB OWMJSMI ; and havi bMghl Bafor ti wht JWaaUM taught. oil (Vkeoli JjtUeti'll ; have goin All through the 1 1 lodl Napoleon ;' Ami. n r kwn illy in doubt. Have ihoVs in Honor all abotit 'I'll. Mtattitf in the reign of Ann-; tnl how the leading cam- ran H. lore l.r.l Ulrtiik held o and o : Now let tin HhUu r.ryix go, Aud, ere the Court fall lat MfcMp, ' -ay a word ahoiit tin ahei -p Hit and Humor. Si'OitTSMAN'sepiiapli Game to the last. What bird lifts the hsSJViSSt weight I The crane. It has bees decided by I Kansas Judge that a man and wife SSI go by a eeroUC OU a ticket that says " admit one" SI by a law they are considered M one." K woman is very like a kettle, if you come to think of it. Slie sings away so pleasantly then she etops and, when you h ast expect it, she boils over. "Anus pite you detst In quired one Dutchmen of another, while engaged in angling. "No, notting at all." M Veil," teem nod the other, " not ting pite me too." " Pa, I guess ur man Ralph is a good Christian." "How so, my boy f" "Why, pa, I read in the Bible that the wicked shall not live out half his days ; and Kahili says he has lived out ever since he was a little boy." A UOI being asked by B gentleman to lie his wife, wrote the word "stripes," and stated that the letters of the word could be tranapoeed farm the answer. He finally studied out " persist" -what every woman wishes her lover to do. A coKitEsroNDENT of a Chicago paper, writing from Spain, enthusiastically di lates upon the sleepy, dreamy expres sion of the voting lathes' faces. Which explains why they are called S'noras, we ! euppoec. iVfU Ofk Ad vi rt'srr. The Picton (Canada) ban ; the following on 7'imrx perpe the late baby show : I i ut; -four babll - all in u row . 1 M nty-foiir tttltimWT aL-o on how ; Tw. nty-t'our daddii h luippy a flam. -Ik w of lii liati:. h, none at your i-haiij-. A viio!i of angel, 'Ii ht little lamb. Said a distinguished politician to his son : "Look at me! I Ivegun as an Alderman, and here I am at the top of the tree, and what is my reward '. Why, when I die, my son will DC the greatest rascal in the city." To this the young hopeful replied : " Yes, father, when vou die but not till then." A Wnsnw man visiting his brother in Dan bury espied a guu on the kitchen wall. " Is that gun loaded ?" he asked. "Oh, no; it is empty," replied tic brother. "Empty.' i'or God's sake load it as quick as you am, or tlie chil dren will get hold of it and shoot each other !" Be had read the papers. Ma. OnUM never wrote anything more lad and touching than the follow ing tender effusion : ' Willie Hlliokllll,' i 111 11 powil. H" dropped a t inder SOW! : Then rose like a meteor. To wear the goltlrn crown. Gone to meet the fVllow who struck tlie flyotfllM can with u riaSfi hanim. :. TnK other day a colored resident of Vicksburg found a bottle of whisky in the suburbs of the city, and hailing a pedestrian he inquired i M Dst'a whisky, ain' it?" " Smells like it, and guees it is," was the reply. " And dere ain't DO pizeii iu it " Well, there may be I can't bdl ; I shouldn't want to drink it." "If deie Was pizen I'd be a dead nigger, eh ,M " You would. " " Ami if dere wasn't any pizen I'd be WSStnT a pint of good whisky r" "Yes." The Under turned the bottle over nnd e ver, amelled of the oontenta three or four times, and finally made ready to drink, saying : " Pore's heaps of pizen lyin' around loose, but dere's also heaps of niggers in Vicusburg, an' ize gwine to tip up de bottle an' run de chances." rickwburg Herald. The Yankee Abroad. One of our inventive countrymen is pestering the French government with I new invention. He wishes to sell Pisnce, for her own exclusive benefit, pneumatic self-acting improvement on the guillotine. Kxclusive right to take people's h -ads from their shoulders! This relieves the executioner from direct bloody work, but how about the compli ment impliedly paid to the French gov ernment One would think that the plains of Sartory were made terrible enough by the niusket, nnd that govern ment vengeance was sufficiently owift for all purnKes. Self-acting guillotine How it would disturb the ghost of Robespiei re, who worked with an old fashioned clipper ! b rapes lor the Sick. At certain towns in Switzerland grapes are grown solely as medicine, rnd the vineyards are put to no other use. In stead of drinking water, as at other places, the patient is sent out to eat grapes, and must pick them himself from the vines. Where the doctor ordinarih instructs the patient to drink so main glasses of water, he is here iustrm -ted to eat just ro many bunches of grapes, ami no more. Another popular treatment is found .St She SSnd laths Of Schwalbaeh and other places, where the patients are immersed in soft black mud up to their chin, and remain in the bath for some sours. The following method is used in (ter- many for the preservation of wihmI : Mix forty parts chalk, fifty resin, four linseed oil, melting them together in an j iron pot ; theu add one part of native J oxide of OQBpef and afterward one part of sulphuric acid. Apply w.th a brush. When dry this vnrnish is as haul as (stone.