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M BRKT HABTB. I'm Min alone I the fire, Dresatd Just as I came from the dance In ft robo ven yuu would admire It cost ft cool thorn-and in France ; I'm be-dittuiontfcd out of all reason, 7M y hair is d(.ne up in cue. In short, sir, the belle of the season I wasting an hour ou you. A doin encasements I've broken ; I left iu the mi J"t of a set; Likewise ft proix half-spofcen, Thftt wait ou the stairs for me yet. They fy hell lo rich hen he grows up And then he adore me indeed. And yon, sir, re turning your nose up, l brce thousand wiles off, ft you rod. " And how do I like ray position 1 " "And what do I think of New TorkT" And now, hi my higher ambition, Wlih hom do I waltx, flirt or Ulk ?" " And isn't it nice to have riches. And diamond! and silks, and all that ?' And arent it a change to the ditches And tunnel! of l'overty Hat?" Well, yes if you saw us out driving Each day in the park, four-iu-haud If you fftw poor dear mamma contriving To look anpernaturally grand If you saw papa's picture, aa taken by Brady, aud tinted at that. You'd never smpect he sold bacon And flour at l'overty Flat. And yet, Just this moment, when sitting In the gl'ire of the grand chandelier In the butle and glitter befitting The " finest soiree of the ear," in the mitts ot a gauze de Chambery, And the hum of the smallest of talk Somehow, Joe, I thougnt of the " Ferry," And the Uuc that we bad on ' The Fork;" Of Harrison's barn, with ita muster Of flaga festooned over the wall ; Of the candle that ehed their soft luster And tallow on head-dress and shawl; Of the steps that ws took to one fiddle; Of the dress of my queer vis-a-vis; And how I once went down the middle With the man that Bhot Bandy McOee. Of the moon that wan quietly sleeping On the hill when the time came to go; Of the few baby peaks that were peeping From under their bedclothes of suow; Of that ride that to me was the rarest; Of -the romcthlcg you said at the gate; Ah, Joe, then I wacu't an heiress To " the best-paying lead in the State." Well, well, It's all past; yet it's funny To third, as I stood in the glare Of fathten, and beauty and money. That I should be thinking, right there, Of some one who breasted high water. And swam the Nort'u Fork, and all that, Jut to dauco with old Follnsbee's daughter, The Lily of Poverty Flat. But, goodness! what nonsense I'm writing ! (Mamma says my taste is still low), Instead of my triumphs reciting, I'm spooning on Joseph -heigh-ho t And I'm to be " nnished " by travel Whatever's the mtanlrg of that Ob, why did pnr a strike pay gravel In drifting on Poverty Flat 7 flood-night here's the end of my paper; Good-night if the longitude please . Tor maybe, while wasting my taper, ' Your sun's climbing over the trees. But you know. If you haven't got riches, Aud are poor, deareet Joe, and all that. That my heart's somewhere there in the ditches, Ana you've struct it -on l'overty iat. .IIITTY TJIORNE'M DUTY. "We might mortgago the place, Miss Ilitty, sighing. said And retire to the almshouse, eh?" returned her tister. But what alternative is open to us? fcinoll we allow lorn to come to grief? Tom richly deservs all the grief that will fall to his share, pnor fellow. Such a schemer ! Expected to make a fortune for us all. fcrsooth, that we might flaunt in our velvets, drive our epan, and fare sumptuously every day ! jno aoiiar I or us and &s for himself. reckon. What should such a boy know about speculation ? It's the old story over ana over. Speculating with other people's money is a little indiscreet, to say the least. I should have chosen eackcloth and ashes rather than velvets wm by such means." "uerxuiniy. liut, now tnat Tool is involved, nothing but money will extri cate him. There's my watch, the heir loom from Grandma Tentecost ; there are fifty diamonds bedded in the case, if tliere s one "Hose diamonds, every spark of them." Not to mention the pearls and einer aids." Doublets and split pearls. I dare Bay."r Yon are so discouraging, Liddy We must have the monev. I don't snr. pose that the watch would bring a tenth ot the sum, but it would help. Dear dear 1 there's Hannah de Rothschild with 32,000,000 of income, while you and I can t raise $5,000 though we should break our hearts not even to save an -old and honorable name from contempt ana a ioonsa young fellow from ruin. Alas I alas ! You know, Ilitty, it might have 'been different," suggested Liddy, her eyes wandering toward the old-fashioned -square mansion crowning the hill within .sight, with its fringe of elms and its spicy orchards beyond. 4,You might have had enough and to spare, Ilitty .enough to keep Tom out of temptation." And it was a temptation to poor Tom, no doubt," returned Hitty, ignor ing the allusion, "seeing so much money lying idle, and such a chance for doubling it over and over, as he fendly believed." Fshaw 1 A Thorn e had no business to be tempted. Was our grandfather tempted at the time of the embargo, when he could have had false papers made out, as every body was doing, and saved his fortune, and lef tus all independent ? If we mortgage the place, it won't bring $5,000; ami who could we call upon to take the mortgage, and what should we doaftorwnrl live in a tent, gypsy style ? Oh, Ilitty, if only you hadn't been so headstrong about Searle, all this would Lave been spared us 1" "Don't speak of it, Liddy; it hurts me still. How coxild I know what would be best ?" and Miss Hitty, pacing the ong room with head bent, paused at the saaement, and saw the sunset reddening upon Searle hill, and touching the window-panes into jewelry. The twenty years of happiness which might have fallen to her sharo up yonder had proved twenty years of silent endurance merely. She had watched the seasons as they passed over the hill with an interest which she had hoped would die, but which had only strengthened with the jears tho lovely dallying of the spring time, the summer's overflow of bloom, the splendor that autumn wears, the white magnificence borrowed from win ter. If, twenty years ago, Hitty had .loved Austin Searle well enough to die for him, if need be, she had loved little Tom well enough to renounce happiness and children and love for his sake, and to live on through th barren, hopeless days without a murmur. Tom had come to her arms a forlorn and helpless 2-year-old baby, without father or mother, when Hitty was 18, and her love had grown with her growth and strengthened with her strength. Tom b mother nan eloned with her musio-master, and had broken her father's heart; and, when tho old gentleman died, he had lelt a respect able fortune, tbe interest for the benefit of his two living daughters, the princi pal failing to their children; and only in case Ldddy ana uniy aieu wuuoui leav ing direct heirs could anything more than the merest trine revert to poor lit tle Tom. Ilitty had been engaged to Anson Searle a year when old Mr. Thome shuffled off the mortal coil and this unjust will came to light, and Searle himself was at tnat time omy a young lawyer wrestling with circumstances, with no great amount of funds at his command. And nothing for little Tom but this paltry hundred dollars 1" groaned Hitty, when the will had oeen reau ana uio es tate administered. Of course I shall never marry," said Liddy, who was plain and old looking for her years, and whose one lover had jilted her years ago, when tho bloom of youth, at least, had been hers. There wasn't the smallest danger that Liddy would threaten Tom s interests by marrying. "No, you may never marry, ljiddy. sighed her sister ; "but I I love An on, and oh ! I love little Tom, too my little, motherless Tom! I cannot rob him of his patrimony, and I cannot live without Anson. Ilow can 1 wrong Tom to pleasure myself ? What will he have to go out into this hard world with, if if" nnsh, you silly girl ; he will have his head aud hands, like ther men ; and then you may never have any children to stand in his way." "But how unhappy it would make me to see them enriched at his expense ; to see him earning his bread by the sweat of his brow, while they fared like the lilies of the field ; to have Tom envy and perhaps hate them, and feel bitter that life had been rendered so much easier for them by injustice 1" "Perhaps they would share with Tom." Ah, it wouldn't be quite safo to trust to that pleasant 'perhaps.' " You ought not to suspect your chil dren of being less generous than your self." "But their mother must have been ungenerous first, you see. " "You have Anson to think of, Hitty, in this affair, as well as Tom. If you don't love Tom better " " I don't I don't ; but the will has made it impossible for me to marry An son with a clear conscience to marry him and be happy. If he were sure of earning a fortune, with which we could make amends to little Tom, it would be different. But I cannot count upon such an improbable contingency. As you say, Tom will have his head and hands to push his way, but the best head and the busiest hands do not al ways compel fortune ; and, if any harm should come to him from want of capi talif he should be tempted to sin from lack of money, I I should have to answer for it ; it would be my guilt" "Nonsense, Hitty; your conscience is too tender. Marry Anson and trust to fate, that's my advice. Supposing you refuse, and ho marries somebody else, and little Tom doesn't live to grow up?" I shall not have wronged him." " But you will have wronged Anson." "Not if he if he marries another." Many would, perhaps, approve Hitty Thorne's conduct at this crisis, more would condemn; but she walked accord ing to her light in those cruel days. It was ho easy task she had set herself. She was to receive no meed for her sac rifice, except self-approval nothing but reproaches. Gould she have seen all that would happen, she might have spared herself this cruelty. And how much can happen in this time ! how much to make our wisest forethoughts assume tho aspect of improvidences I Propei ty changes hands, values shrink, children grow up with wills of their own, people die and make room for re mote heirs, or they outlive the sharp edge of sorrow and anger, and learn to bear the burden of their mistakes. Miss Hitty had faded in the meantime, while .Anson Searle wore his years like gar lands. The fortune of which her "not impossible " children might have robbed little Tom had dwindled to the merest pittance through the knavery of the man to whose wibdom it had been intrusted, while Anson Searle had unexpectedly stepped into the possession of the Searle estate, with its old stone mansion, its orchards and outlving meadow-lands, and the income that had been rolling up since the Searlcs first set foot upon Plymouth rock. Twenty years before there had been no shadow of such a possibility, no dream of it in Anson's mind or another's. Two healthy lives had barred the way against him, but Death had effected a breach. " What a mist ake Ilitty Thome made!'! people commented these half dozen years. "She might have been mistress at Searle Hill if she'd had a mind to risk marrying a poor man. Folks get' their come-up once in this world sometimes," with the usual charity commentators bestow upon the motives of olhers. No body had known the true cause of Hitty 'a refusal to marry Searle. It had been the town talk, to be sure a riddle which no one naa soiveo. one naa not even confided her reasons t j her lover. He would overrule them, she feared, would call them absurd, and only make her task more difficult, and perhaps grow to hate little Tom and some time Tom might need his good-will ; who could tvll? Aneon Searle had not borne his dismissal with the fortitude of an early martyr, but ho had sworn ho would never ask her twice to marry him, and he had kept his word. Bat perhaps after his anger cooled, and he watched her saddening year by year, some surmise that her behavior had not been dictated by caprico or any petty uiotive grew upon him, and obliged him to render her the tardy justice of appreciation. And a pretty return Tom had made her speculating with his employer's monev. and threatening the family pride with disgrace. Uuless 5,000 were forthcom ing, there was only a fortnight between him and ruin. And Tom was only 22. They rnu.it save him. Miss Hitty was one to stand by her guns ; where there was a will there was a way, and she followed the only way she know. If Mr. Searle, fumbling about for the reasons of Hitty s conduct toward himself, had at length stumbled upon tho clew hav ing an intimate knowledge of her father's will already and if ho had not been quite heroic enough to forgive her for prefer ring Tom's welfare to his own, he must have found a grim satisfaction in tho turn that Fate had ordered, in seeing the Thome property shrinking day by day, till there was hardly enough to but- ter their useaa ua it was piaiu uiat Hitty's sacrifice had been for naught. But when did ever sacrifice prove futile f Though it fail of its direct purpose, does it not enrich the soul not only of the one who sacrifices, but of all beholders ? It was near twilight of au autumn day that Miss Ilitty put on her worn bonnat and went slowly, with a certain reluct ance, up the hill toward the Searle man sion; she pulled the brazen knocker timidly, and stepped into the house that might have been her own like any beg gar. The dead Searles looked down from tbe walls of the oaken hall with cold questionings in their pursuing eyes; in the great drawing-room the wood fire snapped with a good will, and glinted gayly upon bronze and ormolu, upon the quaint mirrors set in garnets, upon the yellow ivory keys of the old piano. An son Searle rose to receive his guest with a Hush of surprise. "Is it you Hitty?" he cried. Your "Yes. You did not expect me ?" " Expect you 1 No. Have I had rea son to expect you ?" "We sometimes expect without a rea son. I have come expocting you to grant me a favor." "A favor?" "Yes. It strikes you oddly that should bo brought to beg a favor of you, does it not? But thero is no other mend upon whom 1 can make even so shadowy a claim a3 upon you. Do you think I would ask anything of ono whom I have served so so ill if I were not in extremity ?" I hope you will ask anything of me, Miss Hitty anything you want. "I have become mercenary, Mr. Searle. I want money. Liddv and have made up our minds to mortgage the place; we must have 5,000 without delay; the place is not worth so much, I know, but 1 1 thought perhaps you would take it for security, as far as it would go. and then Liddy and X are not too old to work, to earn money; and there's Tom; aad we would all strive to make it up to you, sooner or later, inter est and principal. I am dreadfully un businesslike, perhaps; but what can do? - And I must have the money. can't live I can't die without it. Do I make it clear ?" "You make it clear that the Thome fortune has all leaked away. I am glad of it. Pardon, but I, hold a grudge against that sr.me property; it has cheated me out of twenty years of happiness. Yes, Mi68 Hitty, you shall have the monev. I have plenty; I am rich in everything but the one thing I coveted. But I cannot take the mortgage; you shall have the money and welcome, but I can t accept a mortgage on the old place. Miss Ilitty; it is too sacred to me. Think of mortgaging the old npple-trees where we swung in the hammock to gether, of bringing tho garden where we dreamod in the summer evenings into a business transaction t But all the same you shall have the money, Miss Hitty" " But. oh 1 you know I cannot take the money unless unless " " Unless you take tho owner with it ? Was that what vou meant to say? I'm sure it wasn't; but, for Heaven's sake say it, Hitty. Don't you know I vowed never to ask you to marry me twice ? Do you want me to break my word, eh ? Now it is your turn to do the asking. " I should think I had asked enough," said Hitty, the great tears standing in her eyes. You are not in earnest, An son Searle. You don't want to marry me. an old maid like me! See how faded and gray I urn." " And if I swear I do want to marry you, what will you say ? "I shall say, then, why don't you do so, Mr. Searle ? . She smiled through her tears. " What will Liddy say when she hears that I've asked you to marry me?" "She will scy you have done your duty like a man I "Well, Miss Hitty Thome alwayshad an eye to the main chance," said her neighbors. " She jilted Searle when he was poor, and now he is rich she marries him. What a fool a woman can make of a sensible man only it usually takes a young one I Death of Earl Russell. Lord John Russell, by which name he first acquired eminence outsido of L.n gland as one of tbe leading statesmen of the world, of late years Earl Russell, is dad. ne was bom in 1702, just as the storm of revolution broke in France which signaled her new departure to ward the great West of politics liepub licanism and gave birth to a more re markable dynasty than that of the Csars, or any that ever ruled the world the dynasty of Napoleon. Had he lived till the 8th of August next he would have been 80 years of age. He first en tered Parliament in 1813, at the age of 21. His most assiduous labors for many years were in behalf of parliamentary reforms. He participated in the debates and excitements that convulsed England in the era of tho Cora laws. Lord Rus sell derived none of his prominence as a parliamentary leader from personal ad vantages, which he totally lacked. Un dignified in bearing, without great or noticeablo presence, diminutive in stat ure, being but five feet two inches in height, slovenly in his carriage, he im pressed no one favorably till there was a siguiticanco reached which had its hiding under the surface, and was more than skin deep. Although measuring his powers of debate nightly with .the great Tory leaders, in which he had always his measure of success, yet as a speaker he never was effective, ne owed his prominence to traits which were not derived from the schools, but wero inherent and peculiar. Of these, shrewdness, from the partisan stand point, was chief. He has participated in every measure of prominence that has occupied the British Parliament during the present century, has crossed swords with all the great Tory loaders from Castlereagh down. He has twice been Prime Minister, and has had conferred upon him the honor rarely bestowed itpn a younger son of a seat in the House of Lords. BODY-SXATGIIIJIU, The 'w-M(U Grave ot th Hon of t President of th United States Kilted AI most lletora tha Conclusion of the Kites of Sepulture. A strange case of bodv-natehing was brought to light at Cincinnati afewoays ago. lion. John Scott Harrison, son of the late President Harrison, died very suddenly, and was buried in the ceme tery near the old Presidential mansion at North Bend, on the Ohio river, where ho had lived for many years in retire ment. While the burial service was in progress, it was discovered that the grave of a young man, named August Devens, who had died about ten days before of consumption, and been buried in the same cemetery, had been robbed. When the funeral was over, friends of the young man immediately started for Cincinnati in hope of finding his re mains in some of the medical colleges of that city. A search-warrant was pro cured, and the party went to the Ohio Medical College. Befor3 proceeding to the search, the party was joined by John narrison, son ot the lately deceased J. Scott Harrison, who came up from North Bend with the intention of aiding his friends in their efforts to recover the stolen corpse. The college not being in session, but few bodies were found in the dissecting rooms. None of those examined bore any resemblance to the remains of the young man. and the party were about leaving the building when young Harri son noticed a windlass with a rope reach ing down to a lower story. Pulling away at this, ho discovered that at the other end of the rope a human body was tied. The body was drawn up aud the cloth removed from tho face, when the horror striekv n youth instantly recognized the features of his father, whoso grave he had left but a few hours before. The long be8rd had been cut off, and tho body was otherwise disguised, but all doubts as to its identity were soon re moved bv the arrival from North Bend of Carter Harrison, another son of the deceased, with the news that the grave had been robbed during the night. The news soon spread through the city, and was the subject of excited talk by crowds about the bulletin-boards, where brief particulars were displayed. Much in dignation was expressed that the resur rectunists, who were evidently acting with the knowledge and consent of the college faculty, should have desecrated the grave of so distinguished a citizen and the son of a former President of the United States. The college not be ing in session during the sum mer, there could have been no use for tho body for purposes of dissection at present. The plan is supposed to have been to secure it now. and preserve it for U6e until the opening . of fall term. There are some features of the case that are strangely mysterious. At the sug gestion of Gen. Ben Harrison, who had learned of the robbery of the preced ing week, a man was hired to watch the grave, and. it was said a stone slab of great weight was placed over the open ing. All these dfiiculties the resurrec tionists overcame with apparent ease. The watch, when taken to task about the matter, could give no satisfactory explanation. He had seen and heard nothing during the night. The grave however, had been dug into, tho glass cover of the coffin broken to pieces, and the body removed. Whether the scnti nel slept through the proceeding or was bribed is a matter of doubt. The body was taken back to North Bend for reburiah The llouey Bee. The honey beo iz an inflamible critter sudden in his impresshuns, and hasty in his conclusions, or end. His naturail disposishun iz a warm cross between red pepper in the pod and fueil oil, and his moral tias iz "git out uv my way. They have a long boddy, divided in the middle by a waist, but their physikal importance lays at the termmus or their suburb, in the shape of a javelin. This javelin iz always loaded, and stands reddy to unload at a minit s warn ing, and enters a man as still as thonght as spry as litening, and as full oph mel ankohy as a toothake. Bees never argy a case; they settle awl uv their differences uv opinyun hi letting their javelins fly, and are az cer tain to hit az a mule iz. Bees are not long lived I kant state jist how long their lives are, but I kno frominstinkt andobservashun, that enny kritter, be he bug or be he devil, who is mad all tho time nud stings every good chance ho kan git, generally dies early. The only way tew get the exact fiteing weight ov a bee is tew tutch him, let him hit you once with his lavehn, and you will bo willing tew testify in court thut sumboddy run a onc-tmed pitch fork into yer; and, as for grit, 1 will state for the informashun ov those who havn't had a chance to lay in their ver min wisdum as freely as 1 hav, that one single beo who feels well will brake up a large camp-meeting. There is one thing that a bee does will give him credit for on mi books ho always attends tew hiz own bizzlness and won't allow anyboddy else to attend tew it, ana what one duz he duz well you never see him a altering ennything if they make enny mistakes, it is after dark and ain t seen. If bees made haff as many blunders az the men do, even with their javelins everyboddy would laff at them. In ending oph this essa, I will come to a stop by concluding that, if bees wuz little more pensive, and not so darned peremptory with tneir javelins, they might be guilty of less wisdom, but more charity. But you kant alter bug nature witheut spueing it for ennything else, enny more than you kan an ele phant's egg. Jonh Billing. X Moving Event. A letter from Chicago says: Speak ing of queer things in the history of house-renting, certainly tho queerest which has ever came to my notice oc curred to a friend of mine, the merit of its strangeness being its literal truth. A little more than a year ago ho rented a house to a party who was a stranger, but who, paying his first month's rent in ad vance, and having every appearance of being a respectable man, was counted by the agent as a good tenant. The first of the second month, when my friend went to collect his rent, imagine his surprise at not finding any house n r : r-r- upon the lot. Some time during the month the house had been moved away, and to this day he has been unable to find a sign or trace of it I have often heard of tenants leaving a house without paying their rent, but this U the first case I ever knew or heard of whera the tenant not only got away with his rent, but with the house also. They do these things differently in Chicago, you know. tinn-Cotton In Warfare. According to our Woolwich corre spondent, another m ':ai ee r. -u.id tor gun-cotton warfar i :o u vci ex plosive is to be employed for disabling guns of the enemy. It is to take the place, in fact, of the spike and the ar morer s hammer. A slab oi guc-cotton, simply laid upon the muzzle of a gun and detonated, x injures and distorts the weapon as to render it practically use less for firing, while in the case of a muzzle-loader it at once precludes any attempt to load the gun. The old plan, it may be remembered, of rendering an enemy s guns useless after storming a battery was to spike them by driving an armorer s nail into the vent er touch- hole, and then, in the event of the at tacking party being driven out of tho battery again, or retiring, the weapons could not be used against them at any rate for a time. The rapid injuring of a gun by means of gun-cotton in the way now suggested will prevent the cannon ever being employed again; but this is, after all, a .questionable advantage, for in the case of a spiked gun, if the enemy can use it once more on the subsequent boring out of the spike, so also may the storming party should they prove strong enough to hold the position. Tin's is not the first application that has been made of gun-cotton for purposes of ue struction lefore the enemy. A new body of men termed cavalry pioneers, first created by the Austrians, and now adopted into the British army, are to employ charges of gun-cotton iu a simi lar way for breaking railway lines and destroying bridges quickly. The trooper, mounted on a strong and rapid horse, is provided with a belt containing a few pounds or compressed gun-cotton, and on arriving at a railway he dis mounts and places a charge upon one of the rails. The guu-cotton is detonated with a fuse, and the result is that half a vard of .metal is seen Hying over the next hedge. Probably not more than sixty seconds are necessary to work the mischief, but the man is up and away before the explosion can take place. In the case of bridges, the work is natural ly of longer duration, but two or three intelligent men would not bo long in dis covering a weak point in the structure and adjusting their charges so as to do the greatest amount of harm. London Newt. . . The Friend of Ms Youth. Beverly Smith walked out of oell No, 6 with the greatest promptness, and, as he ranged before the desk and smiled, he said: - "Well, this is indeed a surprise ! Why, I hadn't the remotest idea of find ing yon here I Shake, old fellow r His Honor wouldn't. "Don't you remember your old schoolmate, Bev Smith?" inquired the prisoner. " Don't you remember how we used to steal melons together how we both went over the muldam in an old boat how we read novels under the lee side of haystacks?" A strange light crept into his Honor's eyes as he repliec : "Ah I I remember you nowl So you are Bev Smith ?" "I am I am. I thought you'd re member me. 1 m awlul glad to see you, Judge. Are you well ?" " Quite well, thank you." An awkward silence followed. Mr. Smith heard the boys chuckling, and he at length said: Glad to hear it yes yes. I should like to call on you and talk over old timep." ' Beverly Smith 1" said the court, in a voice resembling the distant explosion of a coal-cart, " you are now about to call ou tho Superintendent of the House of Correction, thero to remain for ninety long days " What 1 sentence an old companion ?' "All the same, Beverly all the same The friends of my childhood are few in number. They aro falling down stairs, being drowned, blown up, and run over and I'm going to put you where you will be safe from accident I " Don't, Judge I" "Bat I will ! I prize you, Beverly, When night comes I want to know that you are in out of the wet, and when morning dawns I want to feel that you are safe from the clutch of ice wagens, The sentence is recorded. "Judge, 1 1 dont think 1 ever knew you I" stammered Beverly, but there was a light in the window for him Detroit Free Pre. Cost of Christianizing Turkey. In the great effort to ameliorate the condition of the Christians in Turkey it is said that Russia has expended 100, 000,000. This "demnition total," as Mr. Mantilini would say, is 0500,000,000 m tho money of the United States. The entire population of Russia is 80,000, 000. and this war debt is a tax of over S6 per capita. When it is nndersto d that Russia had a crushing debt before entering upoh this last enterprise, and when it ia known that more than half of the barbarians of Russia could not scare up $2 if their lives depenced upon it, a faint idea of .the financial condition of that distinguished empire may be had. Instead of threatening to amelior ate the condition of Christians in En gland, the Czar should file a voluntary petition in bankruptcy, and cause the usual notice to be inserted in the news papers to the effect that his assets are greatly in excess of his liabilities. Bal timore Gazette. A Backward Lorer. " Don't you know I dreamed of you the other night?" said an audacious young lady to her backward lover. " Indeed 1 And may I venture to ask what was the dreamt" " O, nothing much I thought you asked me to marry you." Eagerly: "And did you con sent ?" " Why, you see you asked in such an indirect and unfair way that I would not givo you au answer." "Ah I my dear Julia, how can I thank you for this opportunity ? Let me ak you now, fairly and directly, will you marry me t" "No, sir, I won't." . WILLY. BY K. B. hTOriMBD. ; I take hla picture from my kno, An-t prrss it to nijr lu sfain ; I un a Imn.lrcJ iu lay lrain, Aii.l aU of him, and dear to nit. lis nestle in kia aunt's arms.' His jonu eyes wjnMnjt In the light ; I bear Uls sudden tbriek at bKht; Startled iu drtaius ty vain alarms. We walk the 11 xr and hnh hla moaa ; A train he sleeps we kl hla brow I toss him ou cut shou'der now II U lusjesty is ou his throne t ills kiDfrly clutch is in my hair ; lie sees a rlTal iu tho glass ; It stares aud pauses as we ia4S ; It fades. I breathe the con tilry air ; I see a cottage lessee f rem here ; garden utsr torae orchard tres ; A leafy Rhnipae of creeping seas ; And iu the ootuge something dear ; A square of sunlight on the floor, liiocked from the window; in tbe square A happy child with hcayenly hair, To whom the world is wore and more. lie sees tbe bine fly beat tha pane, Buzslng away the noontide hours , The terrace grass, the scattered flowers, The beetles, and the beads of fain. Jle sees the grareled walks below. The narrow arbot draped with vins. The light that like an emrald shines, The small bird hopping to and fro. lie drinks their linked beauty in t They AU the thoughts with silent Joy; Uut now he spies a late-dropped toy, And aU his noisy pranks begiu. They bear him to an upper room V hen comes the eve; he hums for me, Like some voluptuous, drowsy bee That shuts his wlugs lu honeyed gloom. I see a shadow in a chalt ; I see a shadowy cradle go ; I hear a aitty soft and low The mother and the child are there ! At 'ength the palm ef sleep la shM ; die bud conUins my bud ana flower; They sleep and dream, and hour by hour Got by, while angels watch the bed. Sleep on, and dream, ye blf.esed pair .' My pioyers shaU guard ye nlnbt aud day; Ye guard me so, ye make me pray Ye make my happy life a prayei. WIT AM) HUMOR. A raining favorite An umbrella. When a dog is muzzled his bark is on th tied. ' What beats a good wife ? A bad husband. . . Tin: phonograph is like the small brother of a young lady. It will re peat everything said in its presence. The horse, bowed down by weight of whea, To weakest oats will cling ; Nor whip nor spur can make hiia go, Nor any other thing. "Why this concourso of people, my friend ? " he asked. "It is' not a con course, sir, it is a race course," replied the spectator. ' ' "WELL,"say8 his friend, "you are round again." "Yes' swys the fellow with the account in his hand, "but I want to get square." An individual complaining of his bad luck says he got "ahead but once, and that was a cabbage, and even 'that was stolen from him before he got home. A NEWiiY-ARRtVED Chinaman has only twenty-five letters of the English alpha bet to learn ; he is well acquainted with 1. Exchange. He is also apt to be familiar with sea, and is sure to have cue in his head. It is said that " glass eyes for horses are now so beautifully made tht they completely defy detection." The imita tion must be wonderful, indeed, for we understand that the horses themselves cannot see through tho deception. "Ever of Thee I'm Fondly Dream ing," was the burden of his song in the honied days of courtship, but he found out, mighty shortly after marriage, that he must wake up and scratch around to keep the kettle boiling. Breakfast Table. "Vat a monster language," says a Frenchman; "here I read in ze news papcre zat a man commit a murder, was committed for trial and zen committed himself to a reportair. No wonder ev erything in America is done by com mittee." The Due de Moray's definition of a polite man is the hardest to realize of any ever given. " A polite man," said he, "is ono who listens with interest to things he knows all about, when they are told by a person who knows nothing about them." J ink x kUsed me when we nirt, Jnmping from tne chair she eat In ; Time, you thief, who lore to get Sweets upon your list, put that ii Kay I'm weary, say I'm sad. Bay that health and wealth have missed mo. Hay I'm growing old; but aad Jenny kissed me! I.einh Hunt. Akctiitect " What aspect would you like, Mr. Smithera?" Mr. Smithers (who is about to build a house) "Has Muggles" (a rival tradesman) "got a , haspect? 'Cause mind yer, I should like mine made a good deal bigger than is V Punch. A man who was knocked down the other day by an omnibus was asked if he was hurt, and replied " No." "Well, I thought you must be," said his friend, dusting him carefully, "for you acted rather odd and confused." "Ah! I acted so because I was 6tage-struck." " Tnis is the place where thy make grindstones," remarked one traveler to another, as the train passed through Berea, Ohio, the other day. Ah, is it? Well, what do they make 'em out of ? 'V queried thf Otber, throwing up the window and plunging out his head, with much interest. . Drnixo all his investigations at My cenae, Dr. Schliemann has not discovered a single cuspador, and it is dishearten ing to a lov?r of the classics to think of Agamemnon , wandering distractedly about the place with a cigar iu his fin gers, looking fcr a house-plan, t or a cal scuttle. Hawk-Eye. "You are very much mistaken, Mr. Jackson. The woman do not dress to F lease the men. The idea ! Ha ! ha ! t's ridiculous!" "Well, then. Miss Thompson, I should like to know who they do want to please. Not themselves, surely?" "Why, no; certainly not They do it to spite one another, that's all.,r Breakfast Tabic. Sergeant Major "Now, Private Smith, you know very well none but officers and non-commissioned oflicers aro allowed to walk across this grass !" Trivate Smith" But, Sergeant Major, I've Capt. Graham's verbal orders to ." Sergeant Major" None o' that, sir 1 Sbow me the Captain's verbal or ders I Show'm to mo, sir !' rvneh.