The weekly Caucasian. [volume], June 08, 1872, Image 1

About The weekly Caucasian. [volume] (Lexington, Lafayette County, Mo.) 1866-1875

Image provided by: State Historical Society of Missouri; Columbia, MO

                
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The
EKLY
AXJCA
- -
Vol. (J.
Lexington, Lafayette County, Mo., Saturday, .June 8, 1872.
No. 50. Whole No. 50
C
WEI
SLAIN
A i s . -,, .' :
wiugtim Caucasian.
STATE SOVEREIGNTY!
WHITE SUPREMACY I
i
HK1U1)IAT10X!
THIS IS I.IHKKTY !
Foit 1872:
THE CAUCASIAN'S POLICY:
No Democratic National Conven
tion or Nominations!
Mhm fnrer n linnet! tH-lhr Curltun Ituirn
ml It? I tvht Hj-tinaui-ihttl Antl Artura
rtw.r Auttiftirf fMfmMMi .'
THE CAUCASIAN'S PLATFORM:
Opposition to the Tan-Yard Boor,
aud hi Count Ihs Horde of
Hungry Kin!
CfHfcif Jon It rrfMttiunt Tyranny, 4ffir
iVhlhnt, Hrilwy, t.'jrtrtirayance,
4'fmtftifn ami M'wi
THE CAUCASIAN'S TICKET:
Horace Greeley, Gratz Brown, Cox,
Trumbull, Palmer, or the Devil
A'iiiIm-Ii) In Unit I vt Ihr tiit-TVlfcer !
urn mm talk.
THE PRESS AND ITS
POWER.
Our I'aiHi's Share in
tin- Somi nation of
Gruhij ami
Brown.
A THREE HORNED DILEMMA,
FROM WHICH THERE IS
NO ESCAPE.
THE SWEET SPRINGS SUN
DAY SCHOOL JUBILEE.
HUGE AND HOT.
CILMORE S BOSTON BLOW-OUT
NOWHERE.
I KOM I) -ILKKIKIt AM) MIS
IKM.niOls SQUEE- AM)
wnoi.tMi i: mi:u
mm.
TWO THOUSAND LAMBS OF
THE FLOCK GAMBOLING
ON THE GREEN.
MUSIC - CUID CHICKEN WINGS - PUS PHAURS
-flimriONS PSAIMS AND ham sand
WlCHtS'lUlllS CAUS-SPUCMIS
- SfRAwBERRItS ANO FIVl
IH0USAN0 HUMAN
PICKLiS.
BELIGION, FUN, BLIiftMINa SUNSHINE.
fEbTIVlTV, btVOTION AND VEX
ATION, MUCHILY MIXED
AND MINGLED.
The pulpit, the school, and the
press; I he three w;raiid moral pow
ers of the Hk(e; The levers Willi
which the t in i ti itii f, of error shall,
sooner or inter, he utterly an
forever overturned; The spiritual
liitro glycerine cans, with which the
ponderous fortresses ot wrong shall
he blown to llinileri, and their very
foundations scattered to the forty
eeven wunH ot heaven; 1 he com
f ined guide poult and lanterns, hy
which all eurih'n groping wanderers
in the dark, forbidden paths of igno-
rauce and lolly, shall be led into the
broad highway of knowledge, truth
and right; ihe charts, compasses
and beacon light, hy which the
weary and benighted voyagers ou
time's storm-tossed, wreck-strewn
ocean, shall be brought safe, at last,
into a haven of unending sunshine,
peace, security and felicity; The
illuminators and regenerators of
mankind; - Hut the greatest of these
. three, the headlight on the loco
motive ol progression, is the ink
sliugatorial, type - stiekative, paper
B'lueozery profession. The church,
the school-house, and the printing
ollice; The three exhaustless, ever
Btreauung fountains, whence mu-t
flow the enlightenment, the refine
ment, the elevation, purification and
uiiobloiiiont ot the world; The
holiest of these is the well-spring of
Zion; but the mightiest far, whose
resistles", rushing torrent over
spreads every valley, plain and
mountain-top beneath the moon;
whose flood is without length, broad lb
or compreheuaion; a shoreless, bound
less sea, whoso depths uo mortal
plummet ever sounded; is the grimy
"lout" of the power press, the dingy,
Oil and - lampblack - streaked - and-
gloOmed headquarters of the print r's
devil. The preacher, the teacher
and the editor; The wondrous trin
itV of terrestrial educators: Bui
infinitely most potent of the lllus
trious three ness, is the knight of
the ink-horn, paste-pot, quill and
BCissors. 'Ice editor is the soul of
sublunary universe. Think of it.
What would the world be without
newspapers? A locomotive with
out engineer, steam, wheels or caput
al luminosity. A lamp without wick
or wickedly non-bustable kerosene.
A ship without sails, rudder,trog-tub
or pilot. A circus wit hout showmen,
trick-mules, or a stray monkey to
supply vinegar-virtued saints with the
pretext of "going to let the children
see the animals." They furnish its
information, its amusement, its poli
tics, morals and religion. Suspend
all the paper, stop all the printing
presses, tor a single month; and earth
would be one vast, gigantic bedlam.
Science, art, business, literature and
law would come to a dead stand still.
Kver) thing would be awry. Circuit,
county and probate courts, judg
ments, executions, sentences, sheriffs'
sales, railroad time-tables, elections,
trades, tratlie, births, deaths, mar
riages and divorces, would get into
such a tangle, that it would take a
legion of Philadelphia lawyers, a Me
thuselah's granny's life-time to unrav
el the brain-twisting muddle. Nobody
would know anything. Everybody
would know nothing, thoroughly and
extensively. The whole human and
hu-woman race would be profound
ly accomplished ignoramuses ad
mirably fitted for reconstructed leg
islators. Mercantile establishments
would be removed, none could tell
when or whither. Farms would be
sold by mortgagees or trustees, and
the hapless possessor never get an
inkling of it, till the purchaser and
his title-deeds appeared. The seek
er lor religion's consolations would
stumble into the little church around
the corner, to find that it had, weeks
ago, been converted into a first-class
doggery. Merchants would be
nabbed by ulyssianic bung-smellers
and stamp-stickers,for violating reve
nue and license regulations, ot which
they had never heard or dreampt.
Steamboat departures, home and
foreign wars, prices of gold and pro
duce, time of sales, meetings and re
movals, tax-lists, public assem
blies all, ai.i., an endless, hopeless,
inextricable jumble. No advertising,
except in wretched scrawls pinned
up oti post-oftice doors, court-house
fences, blacksmith-shops and cross
roads juiceries. Young ladies
wouldn't know where to get cheap
and lovely bonuets, ribbons, water
falls, paint-saucers, lawns, laces,
gilt-edged prayer books and gilt
spangled fans. Dandified young
bucks would be lost in blundering
attempts to find caudal-abbreviated
coats, plug hats aud paper collars,
to their notion. Old gents would
get left by the train, when bound
for the city on urgent business; tor
there would be uo means of making
known a chauge of time-card. id
ladies from the ruralities, would sell
their butter, etigs, cheese, f'eatheis
and honey, to sharpers for twenty per
cent, less than their worth; for there
would be no market-reports or quo
tations of sales. Everybody would
fleece everybody else; confidence-
nien, swiudlers aud --black-legs would
flourish and fatten; for there would be
uo daily published warnings to the
unwary. Congressional and guber
natorial conspirators and usurp
ers, would . be freed from
all shadow of restraint; for
they could turn the whole coun
try bottom-upwards, and enthrone a
buuglingjbull headed, whisky -steeped
chunk of peanut-peddling tan-yard
oti'al, as absolute monarch of a
hemisphere; aud the great mass of
the people, their constituents, would
never hear of it, until the armed
myrmidons ot tyranny garrisoned
their county-towns. The darkness
of Egypt's miracle-manufactured
shadow, the coufusiou of a forty
she - rooster - power pantaloonatic
womaii's-rights catawampus, would
reigu supreme from pole to pole.
Sun, moon and stars, heaven, earth,
air, sea and sky would be in ' total
eclipse. Civilization culminates in
the power press. It is the grand
total of the difference between a
boasttul uuiled-statian aud a beastly
hotteutot, between a pomposity
stuffed Johnny Bally and a missionary-broiling
Timbuctoodle.between a
christian white man and a plymout h-
rockite yankee. INfewspapers, to day,
rule the world. Aud the only rea
son it isn't far better ruled, is that
not one newspaper-man in a thou
sand appreciates the awful, the
tremendous responsibility that rests
upon him. The preacher or the
popular orator, now and then, ad
dresses a few hundred hearers.
His voice can reach but few. His
eloquence dies away within the
walls of some small crowded hall.
Not ho with the editor. Week after
week, he seuds his views, his foeliugs,
his sentiments, into ten thousand
homes, lie talks to the fathers,
the mothers, the children. He
impresses his thoughts and opinions,
his very foibles and peculiarities,
upon their niind-, iu the quiet of
their Saturday evenings and their
Sabbath mornings. He sits and
confabulates with them, at their
cheerful tables, lie draws up Ins
chair and chats with them, around
the blazing winter hearth. We,
ourself, humble and obscure through
we be, have made oue in a million
fireside groups, in palace aud hovel,
in the old and uew worlds. Oh,
the power the magical, wondeiful
power, for good or evil, ot even a
country editor ! And oh, that every
editor on our continent, in city
and country, might feel the vastness
and the saeredness of the trust com
mitted to bim! If all the great
brotherhood were true and incorrupt
ible p&tri lis ; men of inflexible in
tegrity; above a mean or base act;
beyond the reach of biibes, wheed
lings, threats or intimidations;
holding themselves aloof from all
rascalities, and the very appearance
of dishonesty; and scorning the
narrow bigotries and prejudices of
party, And if all their papers
should open, at once, a bold and
vigorous war for Truth, Justice,
Right and Liberty, regardless of
every personal or partisan aim,
interest or ambition, America,
from being the cess pool, the pande
monium, the hell of all the earth,
would ere long be a sublunary para
dise. Wrong, oppression, thievery,
plundering of the people, cut-throat
philanthropy, and all the sanctified
hcllionisms that now crush and curse
us and our noble land, would be
scourged, with their every perpetra
tor and upholder, back to the foul
pit that gave them birth ; and Free
dom, Peace and Prospority would
hold a jubilee ot restoration, from
Maine to Mexico. Our mourning
would bo turned into joy, and the
ashes of sorrow into the oil of glad
ness. Our nights would be tilled
with the ravishing music of seraphic
hurdy-gurdies and cracked accord
eous; and the cares that infest our
days would pack their duds, like
yankonigger carpet-bagabonds, and
as sileutl- steal away. God
speed the time, when a fearless, out
spoken, right-loving and wrong-
hating press, wearing the dog-collar
ot no party, shall prove itselt the
resurrect ion-angel, the regenerator,
the savior of our Republic!
The power of the press? Who
can toll it' What pencil however
skilled in the interminable figures of
the yankee, nigger-freeing, wnite-nian-enslaving
butchery debt, can
estimate it? None! Its irresistible
as the rush of Niagara's mad
waters, or the march of Time's all
destroying legions; its incalculable
as the clock-ticks that measure eter
nity's limits, or the inches that
fathom the depths of Kadical villainy
aud ulyssiau tumblebuggery. And
the Caucasian bas its share of this
marvelous sway. Unpretending,
modest, mild-spoken little country
jakey organ of antiquated gospel, as
it is, its influence is felt and
feared iu every Sunday School,
Sewing Society and liquid-rofreshery,
from Mattawamkeag toSauiiego.
On the 'ith day of February, 1870,
we blazed the track for Passivism,
as a state policy for Missouri, then
languishing in bondsman's shackles.
Our whole commonwealth rang with
derisive mockery of the "Crazy Cau
casian." We battled on, and lived
to see that jeered and crack-brained
plan hailed, nine months later, by a
redeemed, regenerated and disen
thralled people and province, as a
master piece of political strategy, a
marvel of Solomonic wisdom. Ou the
.'nil day of August, 1871, we announ
ced ourself for the same course na
tionally; and on the 11th of October,
we flung out our glorious Possum
bauner to the breeze, and ran up the
name of Horace Greeley for the
Presidency. America resounded
iv ith the taunts and jibes, the ridicule
and laughter of ten million heedless
us-es. "Lunatic, lunatic," j-elped
radical, rebel, democrat and conserv
tive, in one huge, tympanum-cracking
frog-pond chorus. Kstimating
the opinions ot the mob at their real
value, utterly regardless ot the voice
of the rabble, we added Missouri's
gallant and gifted son, to our ticket,
and struggled on. And seven months
nad scarce- rolled by, till we beheld
the vastest assembly of patriots, that
has ever met in the wostern world
since Lincoln's nigger-crusade, amid
the booming of cannon, the waving
of flags, and the exultant huzzahs of
hope-inspired multidudes, stamp the
seal of approval upon the men of our
choice, and send forth their names
as nominated candidates for the
highest positions in the gift of our
people. There are but three alter
natives, three horns to the dilemua:
When, eight months ago,we raised
the names of Greeley and Brown,
we either foresaw, with prophetic
vision, the action of the Cincinnati
convention;
Or, out of all the great men in
America, we selected the very two,
whom the assembled wisdom and
patriotism of the country were bound
to approve;
Or, we chose men who were neith
er qualified nor available, aud whip
ped in iorty states and territories to
their support.
You pays your money, and you
takes your choice. We claim that the
little back woodsy Caucasian did
more to nominate the ticket, than
all other influences under heaven
combined. It put up the name of
Greeley for President, and supported
it ir. a vehement article. Such a
freak of the most ultra, rebel, pro
slavery, slates-rights and repudia
tion paper, on the continent, com
pelled every other journal in the
land, no matter what its politics, to
mention him as a presidential candi
date. Then his letter, in response
to this outlandish nomination, first
placed him before the country, as
an opponent of the Tumblebug, and
a supporter of Liberalism; and first
put forward the name of Gratz
Brown, as a suitable one to divide
the honors with him. Greeley, as
the representative of the old, strait
laced, abolition, high-tariff notions
of the Hast; Brown, as the fitting
exponent of the liberal, progressive,
free-trade ideas of the West; upon a
platform of simple opposition to
usurpation and corruption It was
a brilliant stroke of state-craft.
Aud where, to-day are those who
dubbed it "lunacy?" Shouting,
'hurrah for Greeley, Brown and the
Caucasian Possum!" Behold how
great a matter a little tire kindlelh.
The mouse has labored and brought
forth a mountain, beneath which all
foes of liberty and the people are to
be forever buried, beyond the sound
of fortv resurrection t Tiimnrila
hoop-la ! Is it all chance? Or is it
wisdom, backed by the power of a
circulation that reaches every impor
tant post office of half the globe,
that exteuds into a third of ail the
houie iu the wide Union or
Union?
But lawsy, lawsy, we must hurrj.
From this point to the "finis," we'll
put spurs to our lagging peocil, or
stick a cockle-burr under its crupper,
and amputate the tails of all long
sentences. One evidence of the
near-home might and influence of
our infantile newspaperial cherub.
Do you ask it? With one hand on
our aching-void of a pockat-book,
ami the other holding our nose, we
point in triumph (echo answers,
"humph!") to last Saturday's mam
moth, tortoise-pace, ox-wagon-time
excursion, picnic, squeeze, sweat and
miseramitication. We've veni, vidi-d,
and got vici-d. We've been and
went and done it. And we don t
want any more of it in ours. Ugh!
fan us with a buzzard-wing, an old
coat-tail, or a No. It brogan. Sprin-1
kle us with cooling assatetida-drops.
We lajnt, as we think ot it. We ve
got enough, and several to spare.
rwo mouths ago, we suggested
a grand riunaay .cuooi juDiiee,
at Sweet Springs. We called
for five thousand children from
every region of this congressional
district. We expatiated rhapsodiz
ziacally upon the beauties and
glories of the scene. Myriads of
bright-eyed young lambkins ot .ion,
gamboling merrily upon the green
sward. Acadian bowers. Rustliug
trees. Thousands of glad young
voices mingling in praise to their
Creator, accompanied by the deep,
rich tones of a lull brass band.
Fudge, fustian, poetastic fol-de-rol,
to end in perspiratioual fog, and
atmospheric par-boiling of countless
little miscreants. Timid old
codgers and codgeresses objected to
the project, on account of the
danger. Long-faced, whopper-jawed
christians, of the perpetual-grunty
pattern, who estimate godliness of
heart by sourness of visage, denoun
ced it as a device of the Kvil One to
lead their brats into temptation ;
they'd turn our beautiful world into
a vast penitentiary or sepulchre, and
all its innocent, joyous children into
premature whaugdoodles, groaning
convicts or whimpering pall-bearers.
Devout old elders and deacons pro
tested against the enterprise in
church and school. The railroad
rates were extortionate. No good
would come of it. A terrible acci
dent was inevitable. Somebody
was certain to be killed, and many
crippled. Bah-ha ! Boo-hoo ! Ilold
back! Don't! Wait! (five it up !
No go ! Were the whines ou every
band. But the children set their
little hearts upon it. Our generous
brethren of the press, Sandidge of
the Marshall Progress, Peterson of
the Brownsville Banner, Frazea of
the Waverly Express, Klaiue of the
Warrensburg Standard, Hull of the
Sedalia Democrat, and Goodwin of
the Bazoo, took hold of it with vim
aud zeal. And it came to pass.
Twelve hundred roguish-faced,
diamond-eyed urchins, sedate ma
trons, white-haired grand-dads and
grand-mams, stalwart men aud
puling babes, elaborately-toileted
beaux and dazzling belles, seminary
girls and fascinating widows, farm
ers, lawyers, doctors, parsons,
counter-hoppers, paupers and
editors, jammed three deep, five on
a seat, saint and sinner, into eight
Pacific cars, under charge of Avery,
than whom no more accommodating,
careful and sure-going fellow ever
pulled a bell-rope or puuehed a dead
head's ear. Ike McGirk, commissa
ry general, presiding over a car
load of goody baskets. Aisles
packed like herring-boxes or mack
erel-kits, with variegated incipient
bumanitv and huwomanity. Plat
forms swarming. The very tops of
the cars alive with venturesome
voyagers. A farewell tuue by our
magmheeut cornet band. A nut
tering of unnumbered handker
chiefs, lace, linen, silk and ten-cent
cotton. A prolonged cheer, laugh,
squeal and chuckle from a thousand
juvenile throats. And with a shriek
and a jerk, we were off.Spinning along
through held and woodland, orcb
ard,mead and pasture,all robed in the
emerald drapery of early summer.
Rattling over bridges, diving into
hollows, darting under long-armed
elms and maples, that nod their
heads in courtly salutation, as we
pass. Hoot! On brakes, at Gordon's
Fifty more aboard ; and away again,
through fairy-land, to Pageville
Hitch on another car, and cram a
hundred surplus excurters, with
their well stutled baskets, into our
uo less well-stuned coaches. On
three miles to Iligginsville.
Another car; and an additional
hundred and fifty pleasure-seekers
under difficulties, thrust into our al
most bursting steam-wagons. Hoot
hoot ! And off once more, through
broad rolling prairies and waving
groves, whose loveliness recalls old
Adam s elysian truck-patch on the
famed Euphrates' shore. Three
more cars at Aullville. One at
Concordia. Some vagabond boy
puts on a brake, and smashes
a coupling apparatus. Lose
an hour repairing. Day growing
warm, t irst ot J uue would be more
pleasant for pic-nicking,if it came in
-May or October. Ou to Browns
ville. Whole town overflowing with
an animated tide. Seven hundred
Sedalians in ahead of us. Watrons
hacks and omnibuses surging wildly
to and fro. White-rosetted marshals
galloping, addle patedly, hither and
tnituer and yon. Men shouting
Wheels clattering. Mules braving
Eighteen hundred of us roll out, and
term a rail-fence procession, with our
band playing at the head. Half a
mile to the Springs. Clouds of dust.
And whe-e-ew! Whistle that with a
green-persimmon-puckered mouth
Whew! whew! Blue blazes of the
Great Sahara. .Etna, Vesuvius
Stromboli and Popocatapetl, all in
lull blast. Shadrach, Meshach and
Auednego, in Nebuchaduezzar's
seveu-times-hotteutottened furnace,
H ome of Brownlow, Beast Buf
fer and McNeil. Brimstone, lava
aud petroleum, all aflame to raise
smoke for curing sinner bacon. How
hot it was! Every fellow's shirt
slicking faster than a brother, or a
Jew David's strengthening plaster.
Paper collars wilted and sick.
Brains cooked in mo skull, like
gourd-fuls of baked beans. Several
pairs of boots were found along the
road, full of grease, and with hats
resting upon the legs; the unfortu
nate owners having thawed down
like chunks of wax or tallow; the
sad relics were carefully collected
and set in the shade of weeping,
willow tree. A dozen tot old ladies
from Lexington and the Dover
neighborhood, melted on the way,
and had to be dipped uf with soup,
ladles, poured into corn-starch
moulds, and frozen over in Dr.
West'd patent refrigerator. All this
took time. But at last, at long, long
last, iust as the clocks on the adja-
cent hen-rooU told the lour of high
noon, and all respectable thermom
eters boiled ever in the ice-houso,we
reached the Pic-Nic Gronds. Pant-
ng, putEng like asthmstic locomo
tives, or phthisicky Blacksmiths
bellows. Perspiration and dust
streaming, in bucket-tuis oi mud,
down every red-hot phiz. Eyes
glowing like live coals in flaming
physiognomical trying-pn. uiood
boiling within us, till every fellow's
hat danced, on his head, like an ex
asperated tea-kettle-lid. But the
scene that opened out before us, was
transporting as glimpses of paradi
sean vales, to purgatory -scorched
re-publicans and siunrs. Groon
carpeted lawns and hill-idcs. Tall,
umbrageous oaks, elms, walnuts,
linns and maples, waving their
breezy arms, and beckoning to
rest and cooling shades. Crys
tal fountains bubbliug forth their
healing waters. A birch and willow
bordered miniature river, winding
ts rippling way, like a silver serpent,
in the back-ground. And here and
there, grouped under the rustling
boughs of forest kiugs, gliding
through sylvan labyrinths, lolling on
couches of heaven's own handiwork,
verdant and flowery, or scattered
over a hundred little rustic seats in
viting to sentiment and flirtation,
were hundreds, thousands ot bright-
plumaged hurnan birdlings, rejoiciug
in innocence ot heart, aud the care
lessness of youth and childhood.
May no cloud ever dim the light ot
their young lives morning! Meet
Paxson, the Colossus ot the Sunday
School cause, the silvery-tongued
orator of juvenile Zion, the ablest
children's lecturer in America. Meet
the estimable and nobly-rebel family
of Dr. Yautis, a revered father in the
Presbyterian Israel. Meet Kevs.
Seaver of Sedalia, Clark of Warrens
burg, Doggett of Brownsville, and
Ed. Yantis of Marshall. Meet our
excellent friends, Dr. Hereford and
lady, Dr. Chinn and his lovely young
wite, 31 rs. rrancisco, the Misses
Houx of Marshall, fair ex-Lexingtou-
ians, and Dr. Hull and wite of
Sedalia. Dinner. And oh, such a
dinner! Five thousand merry eaters,
arranged in as many fantastic groups
as wildest kaleidoscope ever formed.
Ten acres of feast-table. Every del
icacy of land and water, that ever
grew, walked, flew or swam. Fish,
flesh and fowl, fruit, vegetable, pas
try, knicknacks and culinary flub
dubberies without end. We lunch
with Mrs. McGirk, with Professor
Buckner and the vountr ladies of
Christian Institute, with Mrs. Bots-
tord of Sedalia, with haw of Browns
ville.tbe Goliath-like chief-marshal of
the day, and with bait a dozen other
charming parties, and nnally wind
up with a cup ot coffee and a soup
plate of ice-cream at the hospitable
borne ot ur. laniis, on me grounds.
Hardly finish, till enter Miaw and
Dr. West, the tutelar deities of the
place, with a peremptory demand
tor our presence at the grand stand
What for? Never mind, come on
crowd all waiting for exercises to
begin. Goodness gwacious, what a
panic. Our knees rattled together
like Chinese chop-sticks at a state-
banquet ot rats and rice, and our
teeth carried on a castauet accorn
paniment to: "Old Mrs. Level, did
you ever see the devil, a pickin' up
coals ?" We had to go. Shaw in
troduced us, dripping with gallons of
dirt-streaked sweat, as the "origina
tor of this grand gathering of chil
dren," and said we must make 4
speech must say something. What
must be, must be, even if it never
happens. So, shaking like a gale
swept thicket of dry pea sticks, we
stepped out upon the platform;
raised one hand imploringly toward
the torrid sun, which seemed to gig
gle in mocking merriment at our
agony ; with the other, mopped off
the deluge ot sweat, mingled witn
slices of our dilapidated collar, in a
handkerchief which resembled an
ancient floor-cloth ; gulped down our
heart, which bad sprung so far up
our mouth-way, as to get hung on our
eye-teeth : cleared our throat with
three dismal "aheras," that sounded
like the thud of soft clods on a dead
nigger's coffin ; and in tones solemn-
choly as the last faint sob of a mori
bund ox-calf, began: "F-f-fellow-cil
izens no, that won't do. for most
of you are too young to be citizens
and half of you are citizenesses any
how G g-gentlemen of the conven
tion tat,tut,something wrong about
that too M-m-much beloved Sunday
School boys and gals, specially the
gals, ot the seventh congressional
district: Proudest day ot our lite.
and hottest too. Glad to meet so
vast ah. Happy occasion. Big
thing. Seventy-five schools, and
ten counties, represented. Delirious
no. delicious reunion. Divine af
flatus. Nursery of the church
Train up the young sprouts, and the
old bushes'll be all rieht. Heart too
full for ah. Many thanks. Grate
ful posterity. Be eood, and you'll
be happy. Kead your bibles, say
your prayers, obey your parents,
don't swear, don't smoke, don't quar
rel, don't lie or steal, don't put on
airs or feel proud of your clothes or
your daddies money, rei on your
selves and God, scorn everything
that is mean, base or untrue, study
the Caucasian and your catechisms,
and hurrah for Greeley and Gratz
Brown and you're sure to be
healthy, wealthy and wise. Vest-
pattern about to bust with irre
pressible commotion. Hope to meet
you all iu heaven, where blest spirits
shall hddte and sing forever. Amen
Pax vobiscum.
Brief, earnest prayer by Dr. Yan
tis; thanks for the auspicious day
and petition for safe return of all the
thousands of young innocents to their
anxious papas and mammas. "Beau
tiful River, " sung by three thousand
voices, and accompanied Dy our Lex
ington Cornet uana. xne very
heavens rang with melody. An elo
quent address by ourgiftedand zeal
ous brother, Paxson,which for thirty
five minutes, held the mighty audi
ence soell bound and delighted. An
other song, with full band accompa
niment. A polished fifteen minutes
speech by Capt. Joseph Brown, of
&t. JjOUis, President of the Pacific
road. "We'll meet each other there,"
by the combined voices of the whole
multitudo, supported by the lull
strength of the band. Benediction
by Rev. Dr. Seaver," of Sedalia. And
the affair was over. Strolls, prom
enades, flirtations, and one or two
cases of courtship. Back to Browns
ville. A drive with gallant Dick
Collins, of Waverly. And off for
home, at six o'clock. Long delayed
by broken car. An hour's waiting at
Concordia. Delightful serenade hfr
the band. Gamboling on tho green.
All aboard. Slow and tiresome.
Night. No lamps in cars. Dark
ness profound. Terrific jam. Child
ren bawling for water. Engine
wheezing and groaning. Conductor
Avery and Agonts MitzelL and
McGirk, straining every nerve to
add to the comfort of the thousands
huddled together in Erebian gloom
and swoltering heat. We almost
gray with anxiety. Knowing that
every mother in Lexington would
hold us individually responsible for
the safety of her half dozen, dozen,
or dozen and a half brats. into
town at eleven o'clock, five hours
behind time. Whole place in com
motion. Great uneasiness. Every
house lighted up, and over every
front Lrate an old man and woman
hanging in breathless anxiety, necks
run out long as tishinji-rods.and ears
stretched to size of saddle-flaps.
waiting for tidings of thoir darlinsrs.
All sate; not a fin ire r scratched or a
pecious yittie nosey" smashed.
Aud thank heaven for it! We've
been, we've seen, vVe're done with
sich. (rive us our choice, to be
a bob-tailed heifer-calf, or go ou
another pic-nickintr iaunt. and
we'd stay at home. No more! Dear,
long-waiting, patient friends, come
in, come in.
Our friend "Reuben" hails us with
rather dolorous chapter of miss-
haps:
MiYVlKW .I.AKAYETTK Co.. MlSSOI'ltl. 1
June 1st, 1872. J
Caccasiax Man: Sum and 1 were
friends; by which I mean we were often
together, and were of unit mil service in
plucking from the chaff of life its grains of
fun. With us the lile-picture was held
bright side in front. Together we enjoy
ed the good and helped each other dodge
the bad. In a word, we were useful to
each other, and as courtesy puts it, we
were friends. In point of fact however,
there is no such thiutr as friendship.
Smooth words and kindly offerings are
only the flimsy outer wrappings of design ,
the fisherman s oait that covers rue nook
which is to stick in some human L'ill.
Unwrap the worthless budget and we find
the point self interest which is the ouly
tieart that throl in tfie busy life march.
Friendship is only the beautiful name for
that beautiful tiling which exists where
the anjfelsare. Still, as the world has it.
bam and i were mends. His most
noticeable feature was a nose. The delicate
rose tinge, which is so charming on the
cheek ot'a woman, bloomed also like "a
thing of beauty' on the nose ot Sain.
The cost being considered, 1 see no reason
whv a colored nose should not. be equally
ad ui i red with a painted cheek. Be this
as it tuny ; one evening we were lounging,
Sam and 1. wbeu there passed our quar
ters two ladies, one a clever looking
grandma; the other young and attractive
l nave observed that all single ladies are
attractive, and am puzzled that it is so
otherwise with the married ones; but as a
pumpkin imparts its nature to the deli
cious melon which lies in the same patch
so it is perhaps with woman in her growth
by the side of man. Hut Sam thought
only ot the present; his eye toliowed the
strangers and his tongue was busy in
praise of the "little arrangement" who
walked by the grandma's side. The
gentler gender had never forced from Sam
a word of praise, and so, when like a
moonstruck school-boy, he asked me
what I thought, I suggested that per
haps Venus had stuck a linger in his eve
In love cases it makes no sort of diflerence
what opinious you may hear or what ad
vice you receive; faults are virtues in
concealment, temper is vivacity and
a
nuft-box as much a merit as a bank cer
tilicate. In the meantime, and as if to
prove that fate was arraugiug the warp
and woof of an adventure here, the two
ladies turned round, retraced their steps
and paused to inquire for the Metropolitan
House. The clerk being absent at that
moment, Sam showed them in, and had
only been gone a moment when 1 heard
noise as of some one falling. Presently
Sam returned, his face as blooming as his
nose. "Deuce take me," he said, "if the
old one didn't miss the chair antl catch oa
the floor like a falling bag of lead. ' ' He
had put the first chair within his reach as
iu duty bound, for the oldest, but iu his
haste to serve the younger he had incau
tiously moved the first seat so that the
floor, instead of a chair, received the per
son of the bulky grandma. Sam was
worried, I knew it bv his silence. Some
new-born influence had chilled his love of
fun. He left me and although it was
scarcely night, went moodily on to bed.
When I went to our room he was sound
asleep and 1 heard the landlord introduc
ing our lady friends into the room inline
diately above us. From the uoise they
made 1 knew that the friends of Sam were
enjoying the ablutions which are so re
freshitig to a traveler at the close of a
dusty summer day. I think the ancient
lady had finished when 1 heard her say
something to Alice about there being in
the corner a 4 'slop tub. ' ' I was the more
interested iu this matter because immedi
ately over tfie head of our beds there was
a short iron cylinder, through which in
winter our stove-pipe passed; one end of
the flue was closed by a loosely fitting
cover, while at the other end it was open,
and could easily be mistaken for a tub.
bucket or anything of the kind which the
occupants ot the room might nave occa
sion to use. My fears were realized.
There was a sudden splash above; the
cover dropped from its place; then came
the bucket of suds: and it seemed to me
that all the watery substances from the
regions above dropped then and there
upon the immaculate nose ot the sleeping
Sam. 1 am not advised as to the exact
leugth of time embraced in the "twink
ling ot'an eye" but in about that space
of time, Sam snatched a pistol from our
desk, mounted the stairs, mashed iu the
door and made his triumphant entry into
the presence or Alice and the grandma
Now in v Iriend was not arrayed inFifth A v
enue apparel but rather iu the undress night
uniform of a man out ol tune and looking
for a fight. Ic w as therefore very natural
that his iuquirie-! for something to shoot
should be drowned by the screams of the
startled women. Other voices soon joined
m the frightful music and at length the
lungs of every inmate seemed bursting
with the wild mad shout ot murder
Meanwhile our friend in somewhat scant
aooarel stood listening to the racket aud
nursing his wrath, like Tarn O'Shanter's
wife, to keep it warm; but reflection
seemed to convince film that anairs were
too ludicrous for auger; aud therefore, for
uo other apparent reason than to increase
the confusion, he started in pursuit of a
newly married swain, who new along the
corridor with his single garment floating
out behind as a white signal tor quarter.
and so frightened him with shouts of stop
thief, that the panic-stricken man ended
his race bv a headlong plunge into the
crowd of guests who stood horrified at the
loot ot the stairs. iu time, explanation
satisfied alt parties that the trouble was
the result of a misiake.and Sam proposed a
panacea which deepeueu again tne bloom
ou his nose, and thus this nocturnal epi
sode in hotel life had an end, as sit things
necessarily have, births and circles ex
ceoted.
Next morning 1 found my frieud iu an
animated conversation with the landlord
about the necessity of improvements Iu the
fixtures of his house. 1 learned also that
there had been a satisfactory interview be-
tweeu Sam aud the guests above us
And in the course of a few weeks I felt
confident that Alice and the grandma had
induced In his mind a serious determina
tion to change his mode of life. Indeed
he told me some months later that be was
tired of the life he led. and at the risk of
of a mixture he would make matters better
or worse. He was in solemn earnest, and
the cause of It all was the "little arrange
ment" who threw in his face a bucket of
suds. His very life seemed changed.
The rose bloom on bis nose got pale, and
social circles lost their animating
spirit, urns may woman change a man
and lead him to Heaven or the Devil as
may suit her fancy. The chances however,
are in favor of the first. Friendship and
love are two very different things, in fact
they are ant'pdes; one is falsehood, the
other is trtitti.of all human truths most true:
the one only germ whose growth covers
with life-long evergreen the bareness of the
tieart. Its fadeless bloom is nourished In
the coldest storms, and lor the hearts un
uttered longings, it supplies life's fruition,
reeling thus i was gratified that Sam had
found his fate. Toward me he still mani
fested the same kindly feeling, told me of
his plans, of his wishes. Uif! new-born
hoe which had changed tyui so, and
finally urged me to visit with him the
being that was soon to he blended with
his: "And mind you," he said as we ap
proached thedoor, "you are to put things
mildly and not look too sharply for scat
tering jokes." As we entered a comfort
able room, I caught a glimpse of the re
treating grandma, and observed that an
open door revealed a flight of stairs which
were somewhat steep. There were dainty
steps on the floor above. She was there
fore neatly shod, and 1 was reminded to
examine the ceiling aud keep from under
uncomfortable dangers. I heard also the
rustling of silks; some frieud of Sam was
possibly expected. I began to get nervous
with expectation, bho approached the
head of the steps, made oue descending
step, aud then my countrymen, there was
a fall, not head-long, but feet foremost: j
tliumpit-a-bump, which means, thump
it and bump it, down she came and landed
in the middle of the floor. Iu an instant
she was gone agaiu, that is some of her
was gone aud some remained. The fall
broke her all to pieces, and there was
lying around on the floor, a wig with
chignon aud curls complete, a set of teeth.
ami more than all a cork leg lust gartered
and gaitered to meet a lover. As i
gazed upon the detached parcels ot female
loveliness, " 'to put it mildly' "said l,
'may heaveu defend us from all such
scattering jokes' as these." I have
never seen him since that eventful day.
but I heard that he subsequently entered
into a partnership, and is now manufac
turing articles to stand upon which are
very suierior to the one that so cruelly
deceived him. Kkubks.
A sad, sad warning to the un
initiated in women's wondrous works
and ways.
Here a gay, rebellious chap from
the soon-to-be-freed, glorious Lone
t the Southwest. And, ha! ha:
what a joke on thievish-fingered loy
al post official knaves. A gleaming,
glittering two-dollar-and-a-balf gold
piece neatly inserted iu the center
ot a card, aud papered over so com
pletely, that it was, at first, thrown
into the waste-basket:
Stkinu Tows, Navarro C'o.,Tkxas, 1
May 19th. 1S72. f
Col. P. Donas, Grand Giascutu- ot the
White Man's Paper Dear Sir and Rebel
lious Friend : Y our late numbers of the
Caucasian have been so good and gizzard
putting, 1 had to stop tor breath oeiore
l could get through with your uomaos.
F.very number 1 read 1 would say, well
1 must send Douau something to make
him laugh; so here it is, a brau new
old piece. Don t it slnue.' lake it.
use it, or give it to your oldest boy, and
tell him this is an ancient relic of a once
grand Republic, now defunct, and ever
to remain so, unless the glorious old
Caucasian Possum shall resurrect us next
fall and bring us again to see glittering
gold pieces instead of the inustv ilv-blown
rags caned money, drawn from us Dy tne
cart-load by tyrants, thieves and official
baboons, to be redeemed ic gold. Re
pudiate every s-eent of the nasty bundle
ol tilth, is my motto.
uod bless the editors, type-stickers
ink-slingers and devils of the best white
man's paper now published in the new
world, and may they live forever.
Colonel, send us one of your good
looks; we want to see oue ol .Mississippi
rebellious boys that's mv native State
I'll quit.
Your friend, B. JF. C.
Heaven grant that those "good
times coming may not be much
longer delayed. South Carolina and
Mississippi are fast relapsing into
barbarism. Without a speedy change
for the better, they will be depopu
lated of all respectable citizens, aud
given up to wild beasts, yankee vag
abonds and African buck baboons.
The Caucasian's noble Possum the
proud bird that swings by his tail
offers the only hope of relief. Will
our people reject it and damn them
selves for what? Simply to gratify
the whaugdoodle pay-triotisin of a
few scoundrelly yankeedoodlediddle
Democrats, like Voorbees, Storey,
J ere Black and Manton Marble; and
the blind, bigoted, antediluvian pre
judices of such Southern impractica
ble taurine-cerebellums, (plain Eng
lish bull-heads), as Alexander Ste
phens and John Forsythe? Nay, nay;
God forbid it! Let the true Demo
cracy, the genuine Republicans, of
the land but act with wisdom one
degree removed above idiocy, and
redemption is purchased, salvation
is sure. AVill send you the "good (?)
looks," by having some other chap
sit for our photograph. We doubt
tho propriety of giving that gold
piece to our "oldest boy;" it will
probably "melt with fervent heat,"
in the universe's fiery dissolution,
before his first feeble "wha-a-a! wha-a-e!"
rings out upon the nightly
air.
From Gotham, where dwells our
philosophic next President:
New YbRK, May ISth, 1872.
Messrs. Donan & Allen: Please
send me the Caucasian for oue year from
May loth. Enclosed find i 50, which
I believe is correct.
Yours truly, W. A. V.
Kight.
From Brownlowdom:
Rheatown, East Tkn.nksskk,
May 18th, 1872.
Mk. p. Donas Sir: Enclosed you will
please find one dollar, for which send
your valuable paper to a pour rebel. The
masses of the Democratic party here
are for Greeley, the Blacker Radicals are
for Grant.
Respectfully S. H. C.
The masses are right; but a few
toplofttcal (m) asses like Voorbees,
may blast all our hopes. Death to
all sicb!
From royal, but far from loyal,
old Platte:
Platlk City, Mo. , 1
May 24th, 1872.
Ei.noRSOF Caucasian: Enclosed find
Ave dollars, which pays for four Copies of
your paper for six months. Please send
to the following addresses: E. C. Cock
rill, Grundy -Cockrill, M. O. Park and
Joseph Macey, Platte Csty, Missouri.
J. F.
Thankye.
A well-laden friend from the far
Southwest:
Plano, Collins Co., Tkxas,
May 3oth, 1872.
Messrs. Donan & Allen Gents: En
closed find post-oftlce order, tor which
you wilt please send to tbi office, live
copies of the Caucasian, for the time
paid lor, to tfie following addresses: J,
O. Black, E. F. Bates, B. B. Fowler,
S. Butler and J. Y. Lovelace.
I expct townd you other subscriber
from" tb Is m-ighborhoodr aT"n ur
paper is Intnrxluwfl.- - . . '
nespectiuiiy, j.
And still they come. We
. I,,
trust
you 11 Dot "expect in vain.
Fromthe glorious "Old Domin
ion" glorious in her ashes and ruins
glorious in memories and historic
associations glorious in the elo
quence aad valor of her sons and
glorious in the loveliness of ber peer
less daughters, (leastways some of
era):
Kastvii i.e I'iKr-l ikkh.'I-;, I
N'OKIHAMI'TOS CO., VlKOIVIA. f
May ISfti, J
KlMTOR Caitasiav; Kudosed find po-t-
offiee order for two dollars and
fifty cents. to niv one year's
subscription to the Weekly Caucasian.
Direct as above, to me.
Respectfully yours, A. P.
Correct.
rrom a private letter to
our
th 8
we
young friend, Will Sitver, of
county, enclosing a SZZ .0 club
are permitted to make this extract :
Bai.iiw ts't'orsrv, Ai.aiia.ma. I
Mav 13, 1S72.
Mr Dk.ak Fkiknd : "
There is something else which 1 want
from your State, and that i.-ahe Weekly
Ca'.icasUm," to be sent for one year each,
to the following names : Hon. W. 11.
Gasque, Martin Kowelf, S. Donald. S.
K. Mokes. .1. I.. Dolive, ,lohu. If.
Wheeler, Win. J. Lea, Charles Lowell.
I. II. Ashlv audi). A. Moniac Have
them enclosed in one wrapper, and di
rected to Hon. W. H. (iasque. Howard's
Wharf, Baldwin Co., Alabama. Via
Mobile. Send one copy al.-o to M ij. T.
II. Price, Mobile. Alabama. Tel! Col.
lonaii. that I will get him some more
suHscrihers, and that he lias mv toll aud
written consent to use tins initials of tuy
name, with the addition of the letter
X, " in speaking of the R-idii-al l'artv
and its leaders. It is a perfect treat to
get a copy of the Caucasian. Every one
ukcs to reau u. ji.iy uie r-uiutr ne ion
and prosper, and tfie paper come regular
ly, for twelve months, to each of our
eleven names.
. Ti
Please see that the Caucasian is scut
immediately, and much obl'ge.
our Iriend, I '. A.M.
The addition of that "N ' to your
Initials, dear friend, would twist the
third section of the Decalogue into
basket-splits, and even then would
fall a million furlongs short of doing
justice to Radicalism, with its infinite
hellions and bellionisms. But, heaven
and the Caucasian's glorious Possum
be praieed,there is a pr,)spect,a. hope,
an almost certainty, that next No
vember will see the horrid night
mare incubus, the life-crushing
monster, the curse, blast, infamy,
reproach, buried beyond all resnrrei
tion-tooters' reach, beueath tl
righteous wrath of a long-outraged
and suffering people. "D. A. M
fN.Ved" won't half express it. God
speed the day !
s a.
A Sucker frieud, who comes bear
ing his sheaves with him:
Calkoo.nia, Illinois, May. 21st. s72.
Mr. Donan Sir: Please send I lie Cau
casian to the following names, nil to Cal
edonia, Illinois. G. Hughes. 11. T.
Calvin. Aatthew Roach, William l nee,
Jas. ". McAllister and Richard Moore.
Find enclosed $7 oO. W e like the paper
very well, and will send you more names
Give the Rads fits.
Y'ours respectfully, a. II.
Oh, tor a thousand imitators o
zealous, working, brief-spoken "II.'
While dolts aud dotikevs bray thci
scorn, their doubts, their hate, the
little backwoodsy orgau of Common
Sense Democracy and un mingled
White Man-ism, is spreading hourly
among the true patriots ot a hemis
phere.
, Here, Satan among the suiutu
wolt among the nock, a niggentic
Michigander, after the Caucasian
panacea:
Masi.us. Mn.'iiioA.x,
May -inch, 172. i"
Ed. Caucasian: bend me your inter
nal paper lor three months. 1 want to
make Grant men with it. Eucio-ed timf
60 cunts. D. It. Mass
i Making grant men with that cam
paign document will be a back action
operation." Like the prayers of the
wicked, or the discharge of au old
fashioned . flint-musket, it '11 kick
back harder than it shoots forward.
Stand from behind when that cauvas
begins. We'll bet a mouldy dough
nut against the Tumblebug's chances
for another four years of traffic,
bribery and stealage, that his GO
cent speculation makes Mann a
Greeley voier.
'A call for Caucasian light from
one of earth's dark corners:
Office of the Missorm Democrat,
Sr. Lot-is, May 31st. 1872. f
Editor Caucasian Dear1 Sir: En
closed find money order for $9 65. for
which please send as many copies of the
Caucasian as the money will pay for, to
address of E. B. Stephens, Binghamtoii,
New York. Send by express and let
charges follow the package. Copies of
any date since 10th ol May .
Yours respectfully,
St. Louis Democrat Com can v.
Strange source for such au order.
Gentlemen of the Democrat, as ibis
is the second application for truth,
we've had from you within a week,we
have somo hopes of your conversion
to Greeleyism, yet. You've wofully
backslidden, since you supported
Gratz Brown and the grand liberal
bolt, in 1870. But while the pitch
holds out to burn, the blackest ras
cal may return to decency, reason,
right and justice. Quarantine your
selves. Disinfect with assafetida
and brimstone perfumes. And come.
AVe'U double-glove, and give you the
hand of fellowship.
Here,-a frieud (?) nay, wo doubt
it a fellow from our beauteous
neighbor county, with a strange de
coction of pen-and-inky bitter
sweet: .
Marshall, Saline Co.. Missouri, 1
June 3rd, 1S72.
Col.: A trixnd "wav down East." ' to
whome 1 seut a copy of the Caucasian,
says :
"1 never was so horrified at anything
I saw iu print as by what 1 louiid in that
paper. I did not suppose that anv one
dare print such outlandisit slang, f have
not taken up the paper w ithout finding
t-omethiiig that caused me tolmiirh heart
ily; still, when 1 think what I read about.
President Grant (' Useless Tumblebug")
and 'yaukeedoodiildledoin, is the heart
felt sentiment of the people I led too in
dignant to even smile. The paper seems
like a wicked monster; so much so, in
deed, that 1 could not consent to let it
remain iu the same room in which slept,
but locked it iu a room by itself, and the
first thiug I did in the morning was to see
if it was still there. Is it possible that
tills is a specimen of the papers printed in
Missouri?"
Now, Cot., having the honor of a
personal acquaintance with Vou, and be
lieving that worse nieu have gone to
heaven or by the hempen mine, and
as I ttud m your paper much valuable
InlormaUou, well seasoned with wit, and
expressed hi words of which Webster, or
auybody else but you. aever dreamed, I
desire to become one of your regular
subscribers. .
ILnciosed find one of UucteSam'astaBip.,
for which you will please send the. .Can
cian till your ro!iscIenc.(?;sayii enough.
Also send me som specimen copies, in
cluding one of April 13Ui, fir dimribu
ti n.
Yours for Horace and Gratz, M.
Box 125, Marshall, Saline Co., Mo.
Ha! ha! ha! Tee-hee! Poor little
Caucasian! Locked up in a room by
itself, all night. No gsntle hand to
smooth its pillow, or moisten its
fevered brow. Laid, like a felon on
the floor. And then insulted by Lav
ing its jailor cautiously peep in next
morning, to see if it hadn't crawled
out of a key-hole, or been carried off
in a blue mist of brimstone, by the
devil, while the world slept. Oho!'
o o oLo! " ,
And here, with hundreds waitin,
we can only exclaim : "Heaven. save,
ks from any more S. S. Pic-Nies;"
and subside.
"R. E. B."
THE CAUCASIAN ABROAD.
OUR PAPER, OUR PLATFORM, OUR
TICKET, AND OURSELF,
AS OTHERS oKE US.
Suruurfj (S . Y.I drftnit.
May it.)
Ki.i.
AN !Nol!l4KMfc-T OF IfOKACC I.HLELEt.
i inr ol lite mx-f fervent advocate of the flec-
lotl ill l.reeley an l lil'own lr INe eklv Cau-
uMiiii. eilitfil lv 1". linan, lale a Colour! in
i.. roll It-ilran- rtrviee It represent the
i.il!li-rn rlass ot l-uiiK:rii!i wrm support Mr.
r.-i-h-y. l.a.st yvI atbout lu Utile tlutl Horace
riel-v iiiaili- Iim liip lliri;ili;ti the smith. .ol.
loim.l a elt-e-?el a letter to hull ankifitc tlllil it
i- wotiM nei-.ept a. nomiaoou lor Prraitleut.
lr. i.rei-li y'd letter in reply appeart-il la our
ilmnns at the lime, unit weut the round of the
i-.-s-.. H v:i Mtllieiently encouramif to the
ititor ol" the l. ;iueai:tn lo neluee him to riorsT
Mt. rei-le iiiiuie in hi3 editorial coluuin in
- tuliowuaf style:
1 For 1'rei.iitent tirat liruwn, Iloraee tJree--,
i vx, Trumlmll, Palmer, or the leril
Vnvlioiiy to beat I lyssex Uie Out-laker.
lter the i uirmnati onventmn the am-Hsnin
ttus one ol tile uri to uolsi me oreeiev-tsrowa
el, uiui it inilulireii iu the wiiilei,t exuilatlott -r
the eoiiitnnation aifMin-t iJrant. Weprorn- J
our reuiitr. mat we will not olleu gpread te-
fi:i-iii m. rnni-ns of the political rlieloric ot
the v aiicuMian, tmt in order that they may know
w ho are iiiot enthusiastic over Mr. l.reeley 3
m .na'imi, we give the tollowing extracts iroiu .
.- 1. ail, os; editorial ol the CaMcamau
-ouu .1 Oie leiv-i;ui.-!i'lKe the toU-Jon, beat the
'. -itttv4 n ate the fona-k-i.li5, let the
mf himuniia rhiur; liiuo-Iilin luzzie-buin, dlng-.-niti.
I ncouMitutloliai Congresses of per-
lire't ltiili.in; iLi-iiy-paiiueu. onue-iaiou.
oilte,--peldtin Presidential bra and wots,
tilling Legislature, blasphemous ptt-kpock.ee ,
eiciiois and t.overnors. shoulder-strapped
uda rt titled timuuiers.reontrtu-tion s&trap,
iiter baeeliuuaU, ollietal llll-endiariej, thlevea, -i-md-holder-i,
eut-purses, all , tremble al th
o:i i-t' com in x dootn .
t I ip your lianas, ye latliers. because the bread
will mil much longer be torn iroiu the uioutus
.1 soar buniri-y hildren to latlen a hoideoi idla
-itv.-tire. !be nation's wards, lousy. auiul--kmned
vaiiAhouits, whose utily bQ-imsjs ia to
ilieiui conventions, spout insolence, vote lor
hi- oir.-c-itir.ii.rs oi' yanfcee penitentiaries,
dimis and hack alleys, and inauuraclure stmk
m l -.oicheni stale cousrnutious aud laws
" " Jim rah! Three times three thousand
!m-wi s and a vn-v hatloo tor Horace l.reeley
uM Li. (oar. UioWn, the philosopher and Uie.
-l.ilesiit.it! ' ou" 11 only have to live till next
.veniHer to see ihe consummation devoutly
o t.c "A isticd the overthrow ol the Itluiblebug; ,
in 1 -di his vile tnyi niidons ; the annihilation of
t runny aud corruption on our repuuiiean on.
it--esl.tilllsll!llelll ol law uiiil order.
liberie, peace and prosperity, by the triunipu-
alti. eiecllou oi t .reelev aud KroWU ttleliofcel
lil--! siikr-TCsled aud only advocated by Uie tU- ,
i-astan."
aiirfuine ot the restoration of ttle lemocracy
lo power, the Caucasian recounts what it has
se.-u under republican rule:
-We've seen the noblest, proudest, Ireeat
Ui linliln- that ever awoke a patriot' Uevollou,
lo t'-r, reel and iatl sink into the most ildlous, "
dei U'iii:. lieaslly deS(iolts!B, ttial ever blasted
in t liehmted the lace ol Viod's creation A dea
Itoaatii of ldai-kfcafti-its. critniuuls and slaves.
iV" .- si-t-ti niniiuiilieivd tio.-ts of armed ineu
i-ushiu to deadly combat with their 'brothers
:ivi-is ruitullii; red with ttatrtcidal blood
j.e.u-et'u! valievs turned to tiehenlias oi tire aud
ili .ilh whole 'iIIstncLs manured wi,i.
lti -li, and bones ami ore every hill-side made
a lioliroiha of traternal skulls We've seen a
l-nil-loiiued ol'iU-iuckwoods atheist, au obscene
ll.icsi.-r llat-tioaTinan; and a drunken, buse
soiiled Sucker tan-vard mud-clert. polluting
lln- illustrious chair once tilled by Washington,
itil'i-iwoii, Madison aud Monroe.
e' ve teen a CalUouu, a W ebster.
a It. nttm andaCtay, fade from our national
i t.;CH'tl.s. ami the proud halls which once rang
.vi.ti their eloquent: converted into ile aienai,-..r.t-s
ol white-skinned vagabonds, aud bob
laed buck-baboons ironl Ihe sun-scorched
ttierts ol' t !!n or S-vjuaji. We've seen a
li iiiisylvainu n ii'-'i", with H his charcoal,
iv. irv 'and stink, swaddled iu tne Judicial er
mine, and deiiliiu the .supreme lieiich ot'ehiv-
ui ic Mouth cai-oiiua a burly unrjfer boot-black
ra.iput file Male setlalc of Louisiana to ordrr.
ai h tile gavei ol Lieutenant Governor a
sa l'UM-coloied lugger barber sciaH Luig his un
couth signature to ollieial papers, as sec.retarv
l stnu- 1 our native .Mississippi ana a linevlsli
iKler preacher, a mrry -aided cliiu-ctliiiibezzler, ;
at auuiiiir the ' ' United . states Senate, ' ' iroiu
ii- seat once ijraced by the patriot, aratesiuan.
-iiolar and soldier, Jefl'ersoii lavia. ' '
1 here are doubtless seine uontidiui; noala who
-e nothing singular or inconsistent in lite sup-
p.irr iI sucil a i.ioerai as uie euiior ot tne -
Caucasian. iiimniuiM .m. wircit-i iei,aitis uis
vole aa jfood as ti body's, and that is what he -
alter now votea. tlul the uerealter, how
nlxutl that? We cannot but believe, II we uiay
Irom I ol. Oonan's remarks, that tUe
nttorsemeiit which ne gtves to Itepunticau
principles, and eaia-tttally to ttte constitutional
Amendments, ts rather superficial He believes
in "n fttilEt-iimii's i;o e.-uuleul . ' ' That is the
motto ot his newspaper. And yet tie favors
i,i-eelc- and tlrown. Ihe t aucaalau l::vora
(ireeleV, but the lollow ing is iIa owu wording
ol iUHivn pot licat creed, Wut recently emineia
ted 111 Us culuuins i "stale boverelaiily, while
supit macy and repudiation This is Liberty
There is nil apparent lack of harmony between
Uie Caucasian's creed and the C int'.innati pial
lorin, but it evidently regards that asol the least
importance, in the 'whole matter. Itul how is
Mr. Oreetcy goiu to help it it bad ineu do sup
port tiiin? Is he lo blame because the enemies .
oi his prinviide are boldly using: him lo sub-
ser e their own purposes? o, no, not'at all'
.Ml, t.reeley, we suppose, regards llllusetl' as tmt
an instrument. And Wi- tear Ulat la Hie trouble. .
(! roin the
Itates t'ountv (Mo ) llceord, Kad,
May 25.)
WHAT IS Tlllt DIKKkKESl
.'C I' AN Y
The Paris True Kenttlckian in reviewing the
personal posttiou ol lueuiliers of the Ciucluuatl
Convention says. "Col. P. louau. ol Ihe Lex
ington (Mo.) Caucasian, oue ot Ihe most alasb
inr and ultra ol" Southern papers, but who justly
claims to have bit-n the lirst to kill ofl the
'New lli-Tiurflire' with Passh ism, and wtio
lirst biolih'ht t.reeley out ill a letter lavoriii
Liiii r .distil, alt the tune tavored his piotcge."
1 his remark naturailv su:itests the inquiry ot.
whai is Ihe dillercm-e between Yallauitijfhaii, a
new departure and llonan's Passivism.
The essential lad ia Vallandigtiaiu 'a plan
w, submission tohe coustitutioual auieua
meiils as accomplished facts, to be submitted to
bvthe llemo' iacy until they got llilopowei,
and ihen a repeal ol the acts of l ougresa for
their enforcement. This seeming suhmission to
me lleptibilcan policies a-ratuat whucti the
Ochlocracy had always fought, waa scouted Dy
the firc-al mass of the party, as a degradation lo
wtucu Ihev would uot submit, even uudet
Ueinocralie leaders aud candidale.
'I in- failure of that plau , totrellter with the
success ol the cxpcriuieiil in "ifisoouri lu l7u,
ia Liuvin .-itrrupt and venal K.-pubiicaus, sug
gested and leti lo the next desperate expedient
to gain pow.-r at the sacntk-e ol honor and
principle, and that expedient ws dusbed
' 'pass. Vislu . ' '
lioitau not only sUKtfesled the plan, but
named the men lo head the viliaiuy lu ad
drcsun: Oreciev and askulif him lo become Itie
li-ure head, behind w Inch lo oom-eal the lalaiuy
ol the Ot-iiiociac) 's surrender ol all the pruiei-
i
s n had ever i-laimeii lo auYocaie, ne knew
Ills man. lie K'-ctt Olia-iri s must lor omce
and his personal vauily would induce htm to
abandon all Uie avowed priac iplea ol his lile
iiiue for Ihe poor honor oi a nomination at the
hands ol a naiiK ' villajua, who were pubilclr
proclitiiiiiiii; then tieasuu to every priuclple
Ulev hail heretofore advocated; besides the
t.eisou ol tji'eeley autl his professed Kepubiuau
followers, would serve as some excuse lor lue
treason of JJeuiociata to then lite-loun- pol
iciiHi. t he jilattorm of the Cincinnati Convention ia
in every essential particulas the aatueaaVal-laudi-uam's
" New lieparture" plallorui which
the masses Of alt parties repudiate ui thluty
veiled intainy, w inch no man could accept w.uu
oul adverlisiii: himself as a dishouesl'deaia
goiue, Uliwollliy of the least respect.
file phtlloriu belli essentially the same, the
only difference between "new departure'' aud
""possum" is the figure head i'ireeiey instead
of a rcbeUOeuiocrat. Now, we may as well
intjiiire, wiietlier the nicure head chau-res the
Coi.slrllctiou ot the body ol a veaael or lllreou-j
tent.-- of lis carto the figure head inuat aud wiU
tfo, just where the motive power on board di-'
recta it; as we have a painluf example, ia Keuja
mm ii. Ui own (the figure head of ihe Miaaouri c
Possum in ISTo) iu his appomluieut ol rebels
an t bushwhackers to office iu Missouri.
If any more proof wa needed, of dishonesty
ami loial abaudoiuuein m principle by both the
possum Democracy and tho proteased Llbrrnln .
we nave it in everv utterance made by euuer,
Uirotnrti the press or polittciaaa.
1 he. -sedalia leuiocrt (heretofore RoUfbou-auli-poseuiu)
urnea oa its brethren, UiaC (.hey
uiusl do anythiuK no matter how diahoneat
must even vote lor tireeley, the origiuator ua
advocate of the strict execution ol the ku-kiux
law, to nave the ku-klux from punishment lor
the murder of uea roes aud white uniuu tueu iu
the Soma. 1 be Democracy kuww that it they
eau vet a liuro head in the Presidential chair,
the uitfUvr power lhat puta it there wtll direct
I)
ICoullutlcd ou Kourth Page.)
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