The Andrew County Republican. [volume], May 23, 1873, Image 1

About The Andrew County Republican. [volume] (Savannah, Mo.) 1871-1876

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The
Andrew
SSI
.-..h-r:. . . V V'
0. E. PAUL, Publisher.
SAVANNAH, MISSOURI, FRIDAY, MAY 23, 1873.
fo L.IL--NOr3i;
WILLOW WHISTLES.
ET OUT! A. WADSWORTH.
H world to wide awake to-day,
The laziest drone are bustling,
The brook dips by, the wind la gay,
And every leaf la rustling ;
This shady bank, "neath Beech and Oak,
With lance-like grasses bristles,
Aid yon and I, two idle folk.
Bit making willow whistles.
Oil, heavenly sunshine of the May,
Succeeding winter hoary,
What shade can shut its light away,
Vrtt gloom resist its glory 1
Down through our leafy canopy
Cart myriad golden missiles,
ind nil! the brook, the bank, the tree,
ind e'en the willow whistles.
Each wealth of leaf such worlds of green !
Sash balm, no words can otter!
And all the birds that e'er were seen
Hare gathered here to flntter;
They pertly perch, with heads awry,
Upon the swaying thistles.
And evidently wonder why
We're making willow whistles.
Bow dare yon, comrade, trifle so,
In these grand forest temples,
And laugh, and beat your sa py bough,
And set me bad examples ! v
Such songs of praise here arise,
As ne'er were found in Missals,
And we sliouldlearlen, wcrevwe wise,
Instead of making whistles.
They fay the. world's a va'o of tears,
And man is bora to trouble,
The words sound idly in my ears,
Beside the brooklet's bubble ;
Friends change, I hear, and hopes grow pale,
The fairest project fizzles,
I'm glad there's no such word aa fail
In making willow whistles
The brook shows back two beads of brown,
Though one's a prettier color,
A Titian hue, no need to frown,
I've Faid not which is duller ;
Theyll be the same, both yours and mine,
When time their brown ess grizzles,
And then, well laugh at " Auld Iang Syne,"
When we made willow whistles.
MY MIDNIGHT PERIL.
Tho night of tho 17th of October
tlall I ever forget its pitchy darkness,
the roar of the autumnal wind through
the lonely forest, and the incessant
down-pour of the rain.
"This comes of short-cuts," I mut
tered petulantly to myself, as I plodded
along, keeping close to the trunks of the
trees to avoid the deep ravine, through
which I could jusfhear the roar of the
turbulent stream forty or. fiftyfeet be
low. My blood Jan cold as I thought
' "what night be tho possible conse
quences of a misstep or move in the
wrong direction. Why had I not been
contented to keep in the high road?
Hold on ! Was that a light, or are
my eyes playing me false ?
I stopped, Tiolding on the low, resin
ous boughs of a hemlock that grow on
the edge of the bank ; for it actually
seemed as if the wind would seize me
; bodily and hurl me down the" precipi-
.tons descent.
It was a light thank Providence it
was a light, and no ignus fatnus or
copse gleam to lure me on to destruc
tion and death.
"Hallo-o-o-ol"
My voice rang throughthe woods like
a clarion. I plunged onward through
tangled vines, dense briars and rocky
banks, until, gradually nearing, I could
.perceive a figure wrapped in an oil-cloth
cape or cloak, carrying a lantern. As
the dim light fell upon his face I almost
recoiled. Would not solitude and the
roods be yreferable to tho companion
ji ship of this withered, wrinkled, hideous
E; old man? But it was too late to recede
(i sow.
!i " What's wanting ?"- he snarled, with
A 'peculiar motion of the lips that
ISmmedfo leave' his yellow stumps of
. teeth all bare.
r "I am lost in the woods; can you di-
wet me to B
" Yes ; B-
station?"
-station is twelve miles
' from here."
" Twelve miles!"
,1 stood aghast.
"Yes."
" Can you tell me of any shelter I
a.eould obtain for the night ?'
"No!"
" Where are"you going ?"
,w"JTo Drew's, down by the maplo
"Is it a tavern?"
Jtltt;
hVNmM they take me for'thenight,?
,"5 ..is.
. 1 could pay them welL
A His eyes gleamed; the yellow stumps
steed,rOTeakd once more.
iL-." gQess so. Folks do stop there." ,
Is it far from hero?"
T" Not very ; about half a mile."
Then lot us make haste and reach
I am drenched to tho akin."
?$We plodded on, my companion more
ffcsn keeping pace with me. Presently
left the edge of the ravino, entering
!s&t seemed like trackless woods, and
fbeping straight on until the lights of
wso habitationgleamed fitfully through
w wet foliage.
It, was a ruinous old place, with the
i TOtWws all drawn to one side as if the
Jfcws. rude church nearly rotted away.
? A woman answered my fellow-travel
ws. knock. My companion whispered
lfPid.or twotojier, and she.turncd.to
k. ith smooth, voluble words of wel-
e,-'
fi oae regretted the poverty of theirae-
jiBaodations ; but I was weloom6io
chasthejere.
',$-IJfliereis Isasc V demanded bit
y?-siai -.
"isffcHe has not came in v&L"
JISiM on a wwoden besck beside
K3T
'.ft?- if .-i . A-.-. tef-l-
tbo fire, andato a few Tnonthfuls of
bread.
"Islionid like to retire as soon as
possible," I said, - for my weariness was
excessive
" Certainly." The woman started np
with alacrity.
" Where are yon going to put him?"
asked my guide.
" Up chamber."
" Put him in Isaac's room."
' No."
" It's the most comfortable."
" I tell you no!"
But here I interrupted the whispered
colloquy.
" I am not particular I don't care
where you lodge me ; only make .haste. "
So I was conducted np a steep ladder
that 'stood in a corner of the room, into'
an apartment ceiled with sloping beams
and ventilated by ono small window,
where a cot bedstead, crowded close
against tho board partition, and a pine
table, with two chairs, formed the sole
attempts at furniture.
TiTo woman set the light an oil lamp
on the table.
" Anything more I can get you, sir ?"
" Nothing, I thank you'
" I hope you'll sleep well, sir. "When
shall I call you?"
At 4 o'clock in the morning, if you
please.- I must walk over to R
station in time for the 7 o'clock ex
press." " I'll be sure andcall you, sir."
She withdrew, leaving me alone in
the gloomy little apartment I sat down
andlookod around me with no very
agreeable sensation.
" I will sit down and write to Alice,"
I thought, "that will sootho mynerves
and quiet me, perhaps."
I descended the ladder. The fire still
glowed redly on tho' 'stone hearth ; my
companion and the woman sat beside
it, talking in a low tone, and a third
person sat at the table eating a short,
stout, villainous looking man, in a red
flannel shirt and muddy trousers.
I asked for writing materials and re
turned to my room to write to my wife.
" My darling Alice."
I paused and laid down my pen as I
concluded the words, half smiling to
think what she would say could she
know of my strange quarters.
Not until both sheets were covered
did I lay aside my pen and prepare for
slumber. As I folded the paper I hap
pened to glance toward my couch.
Was it the. gleam of a hnman.eyo ob
serving me through the cracks 'of the
board partition, or was it but my own
fancy ? There was a crack there, but
only blank darkness beyond ; yet could
I have sworn that something had spark
led balefully at me.
I took out my watch it wasl o'clock.
It was scarcely worth while for mo to
undress for three hours' sleep ; I would
lie down in my clothes and snatch what
slumber I could. So placing my valise
close to the head of my bed, and bar
ricading tho locklcss door with two
chairs, I extinguished tho light and lay
down.
At first I was very wakeful, but grad
ually a soft drowsiness seemed to steal
over me like a misty mantle, until, all
of a sudden, some startling electric
thrill coursed through all my veins, and
I sat up, excited and trembling:
A luminous softness seemed to glow
and quiver through the room no light
of moon or star was ever so soft or pen
etrating and by the little window I saw
Alice, my wife, dressed in floating gar
ments of white, with her long golden
hair knotted back by a blue ribbon.
Apparently she was beckoning to me
with outstretched hands and eyes full of
wild, anxious tenderness.
I sprang to" my feet d rushed
toward her, but as X reached the win
dow tho fair apparition seemed to van
ish into tie stormy darkness, and I was
left alone. At tlie self -same instant th6
sharp report of a pistol. Bounded I
could, see the jagged stream of fire above
the pillar straight", straight through
the very spot where, ten seconds since,
my head had lain.
With an instantaneous realization of
my danger, X swung myself over the
ledge of the window, jumping some
eight or ten. feet into tangled rose
bushes below, and as I crouched there,
recovering my breath, I heard the tramp
of footsteps into my room.
"Is he dead ?" cried a voice np the
ladder tfie smooth, deceitful voice of
the woman with the half closed eyes.
" Of course hois," cried a voice back;
" that charge wonld have killed ten
men. A light there, quick, ul tell
Tom to be ready."
A cold, agonized shudder ran through
me. What den of midnight murderers
had I fallen into? And how fearfully
narrow had been my escape !
With a speed that only terror and
deadly peril can give, I rushed through
the woods, now iUnminated by a faint
glimmer of starlight I know not what
impulse guided my footsteps I never
shall know how many times I crossed
my own track, or how close I stood to
the brink of the deadly ravine, but
some merciful Providence encompassed
me with a guiding and protecting care,
for when the morning dawned, with
faint red bars of orient light against the
stormy eastern sky, I was close to tho
high road, some seven miles from B .
Once at the town I told my story to
tho local police, and a detachment was
sent with me to the spot
After much searching and many false
alarms, we succeeded in finding the
ruinous old house, but it was empty and
doserted. Our birds had flown ; nor
did I ever recover my valise and watch
and chain, which latter I had left under
my pillow.
" It's Drew's gang," said the leader
of the police; "and thoy've troubled
us these two years. I don't think,
though, they'll come back here just at
present."
Nor did they.
But the strangest part of my story is
to como yet Some three weeks subse
quently I received a letter from my sis
ter, who was with Alice in her English
home; a letter whose intelligence filled
ms with surprise :
" I must tell you. something very,
very strango," wrote my sister, "that
happened us on tho night of tho 17th of
October. Alice had not been so well
for some time; in fact she had been
confined to her bed for nearly a week ;
and I was sitting beside her reading.
It was late ; the clock had just struck
1, when all of a sudden she seemed to
faint away, growing cold and rigid as a
corpse. I, hastened to call assistance,
but all our efforts 3eemed vain to restore
lifo or animation. I was just about
sending for the doctor when Iter senses
returned as suddenly as they had loft
her, and she sat up in bed, pushing
back her hair and looking wildly about
her.
" Alice 1" I exclaimed, " how you
have terrified us all. Are you ill ?"
" Not ill," she answered, " but I'
feel so strango. Gracio, I have been
with my husband."
" And all our reasoning failed to con
vince her of tho impossibility ef her as
sertions. She persists to this moment
that she saw you and was with you on
the night of the 17th of October, or
rather on the morning of tho 18th.
Where and how she wnnot tell ; but we
think it must have been so mo dream.
She is better now, and I wish you could
see how fast she is improving."
This is my plain, unvarnished tale. I
do not pretend to explain or account for
its mysteries. I simply relato facts.
Let psychologists unravel tho laby
rinthical 6kein. I am not superstitious,
neither do I believe in ghosts, wraiths,
and apparitions ; but this thing I do
know that although my wife was in
England, in tho body, the morning of
tho 18th of October, her, spirit surely
stood beside me in-New York in the mo
ment of the deadly peril that menaced
ma It may bo that, to tho subtle in
stinct and strength of a wifo's holy love,
all things are possible, but Alico surely
saved my life.
FOllEIGN GOSSIP.
More Americans visit Shakespeare's
birthplaco than English.
Much anxiety is felt in Russia, regard
ing the destruction of forests, which
proceeds very rapidly.
Tub use of bronze in tho manufacture
of field-pieces has been abandoned both
in England and Prussia.
Latest accounts from the Sandwich
Islands represent the native Hawaaians
as decidedly opposed to annexation to
the United States.
Napoleon HX left a considerable
body of notes for the continuation of
his life of Julius Csjsar, which aro to be
edited under the direction of his wife
and published.
One million and three hundred thou
sand children aro in tho schools in India
supported by the British Government
Tho whole population of British India
is now 241,000,000.
A pabish minister in the neighborhood
of Dundee, Scotland, announces that he
has discontinued studying, and until
coals can be got at a cheaper rate he has
intimated his intention to preach his old
sermons! Ho alleges that he cannot
afford coals for his study fire.
Fob some time past tho Catholic cler
gy of Brazil have been waging a bitter
war upon the Masons, whom they have
prescribed and persecuted to the extent
of their power. It appears from advices
lately received, that the controversy is
now dividing the cabnet, and that there
is likely to be a crisis in consequence.
This will make the matter a political
question, and it may be expected that
the struggle which took place in this
country about thirty years ago; will be
repeated in the dominion of Don Pedro.
The Dublin University Bill of Prof.
Fawcett, which originally proposed, to
create a Council on. a purely liberal ba
sis, and thus wholly recognizelhe insti
tution, has been cut down to a mere'.ab
olition, of. religious tests, and will pass
in thit- shape. This puts Irish univers
ity education on the same footing as En
glish, and considerably mitigates the
Irish grievance, thus preparing tho way
for future additional and reorganizing
change, i the Protestant interest can
ever consent to admit the Catholics to a
share of administration, and the Catho
lics can ever content themselves with a
share only.'
See in another column the advertise
ment headed "I Will Edp Any Man."
JFAX3I AND HOME.
Rcw Way of Watcriaa; Plants.
The Agriculturist gives an account of
the mode adopted by some successful
raisers of big tomatoes and magnificent
roBes for feeding the plan ta-with sewage
water. Pipe tiles are, placed so as to
run directly down the body of the roots,
and down these pipes tho water is poured
whenever the weather, is dry. This pre-,
vents the crusting and baking of the
surface, resulting from tho common
mode of watering. The Country Gen
tleman suggests an improvement of
some importance, namely, to fill" the tile
with librous litter or coarse manure,
which will allow the water to en,ter, but
prevent the roots from becoming dry
by the escape of moisture up through
the chimney which the tiles would other
wise form.
For most crops such an arrangement
would hardly be worth while, except
with those who are ambitious to raise
" big tomatoes and magnificent roses."
But something like it pays in celery
culture. After the earthing up begins,
the roots are almost certain to suffer
for want of moisture. Sprinkling the
surface does no good, as the water can
not penetrate to the roots, and is apt to
rust and injure the leaves.. .But if pipe
tiles are set upright in tho rows at in
tervals of two or three I eot, thoy keep,
open a passage for water to the roots
after the plants are earthed np.
Core for Horses' Vtg.
Few men who handle horses give
proper attention to the feet and legs.
Especially is this tho case on farms.
Much time is often spent in rubbing,
.brushing and smoothing the hair on the
sides and hips, but at no time are the
feet examined and properly cared for.
Now be it known that the feet of ahorse
require more care than the body ; they
need ten times as much, for in one re
spect they are almost the entiro horse.
All the grooming that can be done won't
avail anything if the horse is forced to
stand where his feet will be filthy. In
this case tho feet will becomo disordered,
and then the leg will get badly out of
fix, and with bad feet and bad legs there
is not much else of the horso fit for any
thing. Stablo prisons generally aro ter
ribly severe on the feet and legs of
horses, and unless these buildings can
afford a dry room where a horso can
walk, lie down, or roll over, they are not
half so healthy and comfortable to the
horso as the pasture, and should be
avoided by all good hostlers in tho
country.
Improvements Far.
A correspondent of the Rural Sun
writes : I often hear it asserted that it
does not pay to improve land if yon
wish to sell. "Tho profit you receive
will not pay for tho improvements." I
think every day's labor will pay a man
two dollars. I purchased a small tract
of laud for 8700 cash, remodeled my
new farm, reset the fences, set out 150
fruit trees, and sowed my woodland in
grass, sowed a nice meadow, and after
all was done, I was offered in cash for
tho property 1,200. I therefore think
it will pay every farmer to improve his
land. Every man who has a farm can
always find something to do that will
eventually remunerate him. Fill up tho
small gullies, which, if left, would soon
be large ones ; cut sido branches ; clean
out the fence corners, so that stock may
not be tempted to push it over, and
that the fence may bo kept dry and pro
served from rotting ; haul out tho manuro
that lies around your barns wasting and
giving your horses the scratches.
Gooil Coffee.
The American Rural Home of Roches
ter, one of tho most reliable papers,
gives tho following advice as to good
coffee, in which all are interested : For
a long time I used the coffee ground as
coarsely as it is usually sold in the shops,
Although procuring tho best berries
possible, I did not uniformly succeed in
obtaining at the breakfast-table, afirst
rate beverage. I consulted many wise
acres, somo of whom said that tho water
used should be hotter, others that the
coffee should be Boakcd in cold waler,
etc., etc. By accident, ono day I hap
pened to have tho coffee reground to the
fineness of snuff. Herein lay the mys
tery. I have never since failed to obtain
a strong, full-flavored beverage, and
that, too, without using so large a quan
tity of coffee.
To Bxtract Grease-Spots from Books or
Paper.
Gently warm the greased or spotted
part of the book or paper, and then
press upon it pieces of blotting-paper,
ono after another, so as to absorb as
much of the g:caso as possible. Have
ready some fine, clear, essential oil, or
turpentine, heated almost to a boiling
state ; warm the groased leaf a little,
and then, with a soft, clean brush, wet
with the heated turpentine both sides of,
the spotted part By repeating this ap
plication the grease will be extracted.
Lastly, with another brush dipped in
rectified spirits of wine, go over the
placo, and the grease will no longer ap
pear, neither will the paper be dis
colored. Fred Douglass was refused the use
of the opera-house in Lexington, Ky.,
for a lecture.
THE BENDER 31 VRVERSA HOfflliBLE
RECITAL.
The story of the discovery of the body
of Dr. York and the other murdered
victims .of the Bender family in Labette
county, Kan., sounds like the tales of
murder and robbery which, years ago,
wero related round the family hearth
stone, while children hid their faces'
in terror and huddled closer together
as' they crept to their beds, afte.- the
recitaL
All the surroundings are here in this
tale of reality that added interest and
fascination to those stories of child
hood. A lonely tavern on a lonely road;
a strange family in charge of it; a trap
door, a well beneath, and a gang of
reckless murderers, men and women,- to
entice tho traveler, supply Tiis supper
and bed, and while unconscious rob and
murder him.
The Bender family consisted of four
persons, all adults Bonder, his wife
and daughter, and a son. They are
supposed, however, to hare had accom
plices. The daughter was. a Spiritual
ist and professed to be a healing me-
minm.- See advertised herself as such
in the neighboring papers, and doubt
less a number were attracted to the
spot "by this means "who never left it
alive.
Persons coming from a distance to
visit tho daughter kept the matter quiet
through fear of ridicule ; and this ex
plains the fact that, though people have
been mysteriously disappearing in their
neighborhood for some time, no sus
picions wero excited until the sudden
and altogether unaccountable loss of
Dr. York. On the 0th of March Dr.
Y'ork-(brother of Senator York, who
gained so wide a notoriety through his
connection with tho Pomeroy case) left
Fort Scott for his home in Indepen
dence, Kan. He was .mounted on a
valuable horse, and had a large sum of
money with him. Tho time passed for
his arrival home, but ho did not come.
As his absence grew prolonged, fears
were excited for his safety. His brother
left for Fort Scott to inquire for him,
and learned that; he,had departed from
there at the date above stated. Secur
ing assistance, CoL York proceeded to
traco the missing'man. He was followed
as far as Cherryvale, a small town on
the Leavenworth and Kansas railway,
about two miles from the homo of the
Bender family. There all traces of him
wero lost. Inquiries wero made of' the
family, but they stated that -no person
answering tho description had been seen
by them. .Suspicion had not yet set
tled upon them, and perhaps would not
had it not been for their own conduct
It is supposed that they became alarmed
at the urgency with which tho search
was prosecuted, for they suddenly dis
appeared. The premises were shortly
after examined, but for some time no
discoveries were made. At last a trap
door was found in a gloomy room, and,
lifting this, some of the party descended
into a sort of well beneath, the bottom
of which was thick with clotted blood.
Horror stricken, the men prosecuted
their search with renewed energy, "and
at last in the garden in the sear of the
house discovered the body of the miss
ing Dr. York. It was divested of
clothing and buried face downward in a
grave or hole about two feet deep. An
examination showed that tho skull had
been fractured with a heavy weapon,
presumed now to have hcen a 'hammer,
two of which were found in the house..
A further search revealed more graves,
and at latest accounts eight other bodies
had been discovered, ono of them that
of a little girl who had been murdered
with her father.
The excitemont consequent on the
unearthing of this wholesale slaughter
is intenso, and, as usual in such cases,
injustice is liable to be dono to innocent
parties. Inter-Ocean.
JE WISH EMIGRA TWN.
Tho New York Herald says : There
haYo lately arrived in this city several
wealthy- Hebrews from Roumanian in
Europe, who have como to. tho Western
World as pioneers of several thousands
of their co-religionists, resident in Ron
mania, who intend coming over hero
during tho courso of the present year,
when arrangements shall have been
made for" their residence in this new
land, and it is considered that the
exodus will probably settle near Lin
coln, the capital city of Nebraska. In
modern or ancient history hardly any
parallel can be found to the1 atrocious
persecutions which have befallen this
race in Roumania, whero a couple of
years ago a large number of them wero
slaughtered at. Berlad and other places,
while their property was burned and de
stroyed to an immense extent It :is
computed that, as soon as their colony
has been fixed upon in tho United
States, from three to five thousand will
immediately proceed across Europe to
Antwerp, in Belgium, where they win
embark for this port It is reported by
Mr. Jaroslawski, ofl23 West Forty-third
street, that fully fifty thousand of the
Jews in Roumania are desirous of pro
ceeding to this country, and that an or
ganization of friends has been estab
lished in this city to help their perse
cuted brethren who may arrive here.
Sxs in another column the advertise
ment headed "I Wilt Help Any Mom."
THE LA TE JUDGE CHASE.
Salmon Portland Chase was born in
Cornish, N. BL, Jan. 13, 1808, and had
just entered his 66th year. Id 1815 his
father' removed to Keene, N. H. In
1820,, when 12 years old, his father being
dead, he went to Worthington, O., where
he was under the care of his uncle,
Philander Chase, Bishop of Ohio. He
attended the Cincinnati College for one
year, and,, returning to New Hampshire,
in 182 entered Dartmouth College and
graduated in 1826. The next winter he
opened a private school in Washington
City. . In 1829 was admitted to tne oar,
having read law in the office of. At
torney-General Wirt. In 1830, he re
turned to Cincinnati, and has ever since
made bis home in' Ohio. He became
early identified with the AntirSlavery
party, and was an earnest and steadfast
opponent of the slave power. He was
elected to the United States Sena to from
Ohio in 1849. In that body ne strongly
opposed tho compromise measures
proposed by Mr. Clay, and, by way
of amendments, sought to exclude
slavery from tho Territories. In 1854,
he strennously opposed the .Kansas;
Nebraska act; prepared an address to
tho people remonstrating against it, and
he continued his opposition to it down
to the hour of its passage. In 1855, ho
retired from tho Senate, and that 'same
year was elected Governor of Ohio. In
1857, he -was again elected, and closed
his secend term in January, I860. On
the 4th of March, 1861, he entered Mr.
Lincoln's Cabinet as Secretary of the
Treasury. This latter office he resigned
on the 3d of June, 1864, and on the 6th.
of December, in the same year, he was
appointed by Mr. Lincoln Chief Justice
of the United States, to succeed Judge
Taney.
AS EYERT-DAX SCENE.
. Did you ever see a man fish around in
the bottom of a tub of water for a piece
of soap ? At the first attempt ho simply
reaches down upon it to pick it up, and
isrverymuch surprised to find that he
hasn't got it Then he approaches it
more cautiously, puts his hand over it,
and then .comes down noiselessly until
he gets every finper upon it, and then
squeezes it tight, and misses it He
looks at it for a monent before maknig
another effort, and fills up the interval
with a few remarks. The third attempt
is a sort of semi-circle, described with a
great deal of sagacity, but is a failure.
Other remarks follow. Then he makes
a succession of dives, and slops tho
water over his clothes, and drenches the
carpet, and catches hold of the soap
several times, and lets go of it again,
and screams at the top of his voice, tmd
finally, in perfect despair, sits down on
tho floor and actually howls. Danbury
News.
There was an elderly gentleman wend
ing his way to the barber shop Saturday
afternoon. Coming from an opposite
direction was an unshaven man. The
shop lay between them. Tho unshaven
man quickened his step; tho elderly
man struck into a trot Then the un
shaven stopped to look into a window,
and the elderly man came back to a
walk. Up started the unshaven man
again, and the elderly man resumed his
trot The unshaven man once more
slackened np ; so did the elderly man.
Then the unshaven man quickened his
gait, and the elderly man once more
struck into a trot, and reached the door
panting and puffing as the unshaven
man went by. And yet .women are dis
satisfied with their sphere. Danbury
News.
Nor long ago the old hippopotamus at
the London Zoological Gardens -suffered
much from a decayed tooth. Informer
times he would have been shot, as was
poor "Chunee," the elephant at Exeter
'Change. Mr. Bartlett, superintendent
of the garden, however, determined to
pull out the tooth. He ordered the
blacksmith to make a, pair of "tooth
forceps," and a tremendous pair they
wore. The "bite" of tho forceps just
fitted tho tooth of the hippo. By skill
ful management Bartlett managed to
seize Master Hippo's tooth as he put his
head through the bars. Tho hippo,
roaring frightfully, pulled one way,
Bartlett and the keepers pulled the oth
er, and at last out came the tooth, and
Hippo soon got well again.
The Dea Moines Register believes
there is one sort of a man whom even
the revivalist Hammond wouldn't deem
worth saving. It is the man who, when
a barber shop is crowded at midnight
on Saturday night, insists upon having
his hair out, and his head shampooned,
and his whiskers trimmed, and his mus
tache powdered, and his face bay-rum
med and camphor-iced and powdered
and perfumed, and dried and perfumed
again. A ,Modoe would do for a peace
commissioner in effecting the civilization
of snoh an individual
" Sac, but True." Such is the head
ing of an' item in tho Chicago Journal,
wherein it is recorded that forty small
boys, whose ages vary from seven to
thirteen years, are at present confined
in the Cook county jail Forty children
locked up in the filthy cells of a prison
in the cosspamoaahip of- murderers.
thieves and pickpockets ! la not this a
spectacle for aagels and for meat
-t f-i-y'
A SPIRITUAL ' BONe.-
The times are all so fearful! r r?
The heart so full of cares I
To eyes that question tearful
The future spectral (wares. , ,uA
Wild terror creep and borer ''
With foot so ghastly soft ; . ,?
The soul black midnights corsr, ,
Like mountains piled aloft. ' ,
Finn props like reeds are waring,
Tot treat is left no stay ;
The thoughts, with whirlpool-raring
No more the will obey. ( . "J,
Frenzy, with eye resistless. . ... ,t
Decoy's from Truth's defense ;
Life's pulse is flagging lisUess, '"
And doU la erery sense, n J
Who hath the cross npheared,'
To shelter and make whola ? ;'r
Who llrea from sight reeerred
That ho may help the soul T
i
Baste to the tree of. wonder ; .
Oire siient longing room i
Outgoing flames asunder
Will cleare the phantom gloom.
Draw thee an angel tender.
In safety on the strand; .
Lo I at thy feet in splendor,
Outspreads the promised land.
8cribneTt "far May.
VARIETIES.
When has a man a ghost of a chanea
of appeasing his appetite ? When he's,
a-goblm up anything.
A- voitno farmer in Rhode Island.
being asked if he believed hi a future
state, replied: "In course I;does, and
I'm going to enter it tew, just aa soon
as Betsy gits her things ready."
Mas. PBTEB'Prraat'a baby wia making
a tremendous' noise, and a friend', asked'
Peter why it was so cross? "It has a
stormy mother, said Peter, with a sign ;
"you needn't wonder if it's a little
squally, its quite natural."
An auctioneer exclaimed.: "Why,
really, ladies and gentlemen, I am giv
ing these things away." "Are you?"
said an old lady present "Well, I'll
thank you for that silver pitcher you
have in your hand."
An Irishman, meeting another, asked
him what had become of a mutual
friend. " Arrah, now my dear honey,
answered he, "Paddy was condemned
to be hanged, but he saved his life by
dying in prison."
A drunkard, on being told that the
earth is round and turns on its axis all
tho time, said: "I believe that, for
Pve never been able to stand on tho
darned thing."
This is a new but unsanctified version
of tho old couplet which says, "I never
had a dear gazelle, etc." :
" Twas erer thus ; from cBuanooaw nonr
I've seen my fondest hopes take flight,
I nerer held a larboard bower,
But some one took it with the right." .
A Pennsylvania editor, disgusted
with the ordinary prospectus, comes out
fairlv and franklv. He says his paper
is "an airy old sheet, devoted to wind,
whisky, wickedness, and other reugioua
matters. Vox Populi, vox Beelzebub 1"
A youno lady teacher of a Milwaukee
Sunday school recently narrated the
Crucifixion to her class of little boys,
and when she had thought she had fair
ly engaged their minds, was surprised
with "Bet you they wouldn't a done it
if Buffalo Bill'd been there."
A wife asked her husband for a new
dress. He replied : " Times are hard,
mv dear so hard I can hardly aeep my
nose above water." Whereupon she re
torted. "You can keep your nose above
water easy enough, if you have a mind
to: but the trouble is mat you aeep is
too much above brandy."
A QUArsT old gentleman, ol an active,
Btirrincr disposition, had a man at work
in his garden who was quite the reverse.
Jones," said he, " did -you ever see a
snail?" "Certainly," said Jones.
Then." said the old man. "toh must
have met him, for you could never have
overtaken him."
A fates speaking of strikes says:
"You never hear of farmers striking."
Now it occurs to ns that we have known
of such things. We fancy that if, you
should let ono of them catch yoain his
orchard "borrowing" apples, or sam
pling cider through a straw, -wo just hint
that you would be apt- to see nim
" striko." or, at all events, you might
feel him striking.
An Elm street boy smoked his first
pipo on Saturday, and came home Tory
sick. Ho didn't know what was, the
matter with him, but his mother did.
She gavo him two quarts of bo Besot tea,
and put a quarter-yard of plaster on his
breast and some mustard drafts on his
feet Then she put him to bed, and
darkened the room, and fed him on a
new kind of balsam till Monday morn
ing, when she allowed, she had got tb
best of, that typhus attacbXUNDurv
News. '
The Scbew-Driveb.- Every family
should have a new screw-driver. ' The
borrowed screw-driver hasn't got any
handle to" it ; and if it has it is split
The blade is too biunt for the screws,
and one comer is gone; "It slips and
sticks into your thumb, and breaks the
screw in two and thrqws you off your
feet, and it gete lost, rd; the owner
comes around for it, and swears it was
nearly new, and valued mostly om ac
count of its associations, a hewowldiv't
have had it lost. for tea timea is value
in solid gold. You had better-.Wy a
new screw-driver at onoe. Dtmbvry
News. A
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