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Andrew SSI .-..h-r:. . . V V' 0. E. PAUL, Publisher. SAVANNAH, MISSOURI, FRIDAY, MAY 23, 1873. fo L.IL--NOr3i; WILLOW WHISTLES. ET OUT! A. WADSWORTH. H world to wide awake to-day, The laziest drone are bustling, The brook dips by, the wind la gay, And every leaf la rustling ; This shady bank, "neath Beech and Oak, With lance-like grasses bristles, Aid yon and I, two idle folk. Bit making willow whistles. Oil, heavenly sunshine of the May, Succeeding winter hoary, What shade can shut its light away, Vrtt gloom resist its glory 1 Down through our leafy canopy Cart myriad golden missiles, ind nil! the brook, the bank, the tree, ind e'en the willow whistles. Each wealth of leaf such worlds of green ! Sash balm, no words can otter! And all the birds that e'er were seen Hare gathered here to flntter; They pertly perch, with heads awry, Upon the swaying thistles. And evidently wonder why We're making willow whistles. Bow dare yon, comrade, trifle so, In these grand forest temples, And laugh, and beat your sa py bough, And set me bad examples ! v Such songs of praise here arise, As ne'er were found in Missals, And we sliouldlearlen, wcrevwe wise, Instead of making whistles. They fay the. world's a va'o of tears, And man is bora to trouble, The words sound idly in my ears, Beside the brooklet's bubble ; Friends change, I hear, and hopes grow pale, The fairest project fizzles, I'm glad there's no such word aa fail In making willow whistles The brook shows back two beads of brown, Though one's a prettier color, A Titian hue, no need to frown, I've Faid not which is duller ; Theyll be the same, both yours and mine, When time their brown ess grizzles, And then, well laugh at " Auld Iang Syne," When we made willow whistles. MY MIDNIGHT PERIL. Tho night of tho 17th of October tlall I ever forget its pitchy darkness, the roar of the autumnal wind through the lonely forest, and the incessant down-pour of the rain. "This comes of short-cuts," I mut tered petulantly to myself, as I plodded along, keeping close to the trunks of the trees to avoid the deep ravine, through which I could jusfhear the roar of the turbulent stream forty or. fiftyfeet be low. My blood Jan cold as I thought ' "what night be tho possible conse quences of a misstep or move in the wrong direction. Why had I not been contented to keep in the high road? Hold on ! Was that a light, or are my eyes playing me false ? I stopped, Tiolding on the low, resin ous boughs of a hemlock that grow on the edge of the bank ; for it actually seemed as if the wind would seize me ; bodily and hurl me down the" precipi- .tons descent. It was a light thank Providence it was a light, and no ignus fatnus or copse gleam to lure me on to destruc tion and death. "Hallo-o-o-ol" My voice rang throughthe woods like a clarion. I plunged onward through tangled vines, dense briars and rocky banks, until, gradually nearing, I could .perceive a figure wrapped in an oil-cloth cape or cloak, carrying a lantern. As the dim light fell upon his face I almost recoiled. Would not solitude and the roods be yreferable to tho companion ji ship of this withered, wrinkled, hideous E; old man? But it was too late to recede (i sow. !i " What's wanting ?"- he snarled, with A 'peculiar motion of the lips that ISmmedfo leave' his yellow stumps of . teeth all bare. r "I am lost in the woods; can you di- wet me to B " Yes ; B- station?" -station is twelve miles ' from here." " Twelve miles!" ,1 stood aghast. "Yes." " Can you tell me of any shelter I a.eould obtain for the night ?' "No!" " Where are"you going ?" ,w"JTo Drew's, down by the maplo "Is it a tavern?" Jtltt; hVNmM they take me for'thenight,? ,"5 ..is. . 1 could pay them welL A His eyes gleamed; the yellow stumps steed,rOTeakd once more. iL-." gQess so. Folks do stop there." , Is it far from hero?" T" Not very ; about half a mile." Then lot us make haste and reach I am drenched to tho akin." ?$We plodded on, my companion more ffcsn keeping pace with me. Presently left the edge of the ravino, entering !s&t seemed like trackless woods, and fbeping straight on until the lights of wso habitationgleamed fitfully through w wet foliage. It, was a ruinous old place, with the i TOtWws all drawn to one side as if the Jfcws. rude church nearly rotted away. ? A woman answered my fellow-travel ws. knock. My companion whispered lfPid.or twotojier, and she.turncd.to k. ith smooth, voluble words of wel- e,-' fi oae regretted the poverty of theirae- jiBaodations ; but I was weloom6io chasthejere. ',$-IJfliereis Isasc V demanded bit y?-siai -. "isffcHe has not came in v&L" JISiM on a wwoden besck beside K3T '.ft?- if .-i . A-.-. tef-l- tbo fire, andato a few Tnonthfuls of bread. "Islionid like to retire as soon as possible," I said, - for my weariness was excessive " Certainly." The woman started np with alacrity. " Where are yon going to put him?" asked my guide. " Up chamber." " Put him in Isaac's room." ' No." " It's the most comfortable." " I tell you no!" But here I interrupted the whispered colloquy. " I am not particular I don't care where you lodge me ; only make .haste. " So I was conducted np a steep ladder that 'stood in a corner of the room, into' an apartment ceiled with sloping beams and ventilated by ono small window, where a cot bedstead, crowded close against tho board partition, and a pine table, with two chairs, formed the sole attempts at furniture. TiTo woman set the light an oil lamp on the table. " Anything more I can get you, sir ?" " Nothing, I thank you' " I hope you'll sleep well, sir. "When shall I call you?" At 4 o'clock in the morning, if you please.- I must walk over to R station in time for the 7 o'clock ex press." " I'll be sure andcall you, sir." She withdrew, leaving me alone in the gloomy little apartment I sat down andlookod around me with no very agreeable sensation. " I will sit down and write to Alice," I thought, "that will sootho mynerves and quiet me, perhaps." I descended the ladder. The fire still glowed redly on tho' 'stone hearth ; my companion and the woman sat beside it, talking in a low tone, and a third person sat at the table eating a short, stout, villainous looking man, in a red flannel shirt and muddy trousers. I asked for writing materials and re turned to my room to write to my wife. " My darling Alice." I paused and laid down my pen as I concluded the words, half smiling to think what she would say could she know of my strange quarters. Not until both sheets were covered did I lay aside my pen and prepare for slumber. As I folded the paper I hap pened to glance toward my couch. Was it the. gleam of a hnman.eyo ob serving me through the cracks 'of the board partition, or was it but my own fancy ? There was a crack there, but only blank darkness beyond ; yet could I have sworn that something had spark led balefully at me. I took out my watch it wasl o'clock. It was scarcely worth while for mo to undress for three hours' sleep ; I would lie down in my clothes and snatch what slumber I could. So placing my valise close to the head of my bed, and bar ricading tho locklcss door with two chairs, I extinguished tho light and lay down. At first I was very wakeful, but grad ually a soft drowsiness seemed to steal over me like a misty mantle, until, all of a sudden, some startling electric thrill coursed through all my veins, and I sat up, excited and trembling: A luminous softness seemed to glow and quiver through the room no light of moon or star was ever so soft or pen etrating and by the little window I saw Alice, my wife, dressed in floating gar ments of white, with her long golden hair knotted back by a blue ribbon. Apparently she was beckoning to me with outstretched hands and eyes full of wild, anxious tenderness. I sprang to" my feet d rushed toward her, but as X reached the win dow tho fair apparition seemed to van ish into tie stormy darkness, and I was left alone. At tlie self -same instant th6 sharp report of a pistol. Bounded I could, see the jagged stream of fire above the pillar straight", straight through the very spot where, ten seconds since, my head had lain. With an instantaneous realization of my danger, X swung myself over the ledge of the window, jumping some eight or ten. feet into tangled rose bushes below, and as I crouched there, recovering my breath, I heard the tramp of footsteps into my room. "Is he dead ?" cried a voice np the ladder tfie smooth, deceitful voice of the woman with the half closed eyes. " Of course hois," cried a voice back; " that charge wonld have killed ten men. A light there, quick, ul tell Tom to be ready." A cold, agonized shudder ran through me. What den of midnight murderers had I fallen into? And how fearfully narrow had been my escape ! With a speed that only terror and deadly peril can give, I rushed through the woods, now iUnminated by a faint glimmer of starlight I know not what impulse guided my footsteps I never shall know how many times I crossed my own track, or how close I stood to the brink of the deadly ravine, but some merciful Providence encompassed me with a guiding and protecting care, for when the morning dawned, with faint red bars of orient light against the stormy eastern sky, I was close to tho high road, some seven miles from B . Once at the town I told my story to tho local police, and a detachment was sent with me to the spot After much searching and many false alarms, we succeeded in finding the ruinous old house, but it was empty and doserted. Our birds had flown ; nor did I ever recover my valise and watch and chain, which latter I had left under my pillow. " It's Drew's gang," said the leader of the police; "and thoy've troubled us these two years. I don't think, though, they'll come back here just at present." Nor did they. But the strangest part of my story is to como yet Some three weeks subse quently I received a letter from my sis ter, who was with Alice in her English home; a letter whose intelligence filled ms with surprise : " I must tell you. something very, very strango," wrote my sister, "that happened us on tho night of tho 17th of October. Alice had not been so well for some time; in fact she had been confined to her bed for nearly a week ; and I was sitting beside her reading. It was late ; the clock had just struck 1, when all of a sudden she seemed to faint away, growing cold and rigid as a corpse. I, hastened to call assistance, but all our efforts 3eemed vain to restore lifo or animation. I was just about sending for the doctor when Iter senses returned as suddenly as they had loft her, and she sat up in bed, pushing back her hair and looking wildly about her. " Alice 1" I exclaimed, " how you have terrified us all. Are you ill ?" " Not ill," she answered, " but I' feel so strango. Gracio, I have been with my husband." " And all our reasoning failed to con vince her of tho impossibility ef her as sertions. She persists to this moment that she saw you and was with you on the night of the 17th of October, or rather on the morning of tho 18th. Where and how she wnnot tell ; but we think it must have been so mo dream. She is better now, and I wish you could see how fast she is improving." This is my plain, unvarnished tale. I do not pretend to explain or account for its mysteries. I simply relato facts. Let psychologists unravel tho laby rinthical 6kein. I am not superstitious, neither do I believe in ghosts, wraiths, and apparitions ; but this thing I do know that although my wife was in England, in tho body, the morning of tho 18th of October, her, spirit surely stood beside me in-New York in the mo ment of the deadly peril that menaced ma It may bo that, to tho subtle in stinct and strength of a wifo's holy love, all things are possible, but Alico surely saved my life. FOllEIGN GOSSIP. More Americans visit Shakespeare's birthplaco than English. Much anxiety is felt in Russia, regard ing the destruction of forests, which proceeds very rapidly. Tub use of bronze in tho manufacture of field-pieces has been abandoned both in England and Prussia. Latest accounts from the Sandwich Islands represent the native Hawaaians as decidedly opposed to annexation to the United States. Napoleon HX left a considerable body of notes for the continuation of his life of Julius Csjsar, which aro to be edited under the direction of his wife and published. One million and three hundred thou sand children aro in tho schools in India supported by the British Government Tho whole population of British India is now 241,000,000. A pabish minister in the neighborhood of Dundee, Scotland, announces that he has discontinued studying, and until coals can be got at a cheaper rate he has intimated his intention to preach his old sermons! Ho alleges that he cannot afford coals for his study fire. Fob some time past tho Catholic cler gy of Brazil have been waging a bitter war upon the Masons, whom they have prescribed and persecuted to the extent of their power. It appears from advices lately received, that the controversy is now dividing the cabnet, and that there is likely to be a crisis in consequence. This will make the matter a political question, and it may be expected that the struggle which took place in this country about thirty years ago; will be repeated in the dominion of Don Pedro. The Dublin University Bill of Prof. Fawcett, which originally proposed, to create a Council on. a purely liberal ba sis, and thus wholly recognizelhe insti tution, has been cut down to a mere'.ab olition, of. religious tests, and will pass in thit- shape. This puts Irish univers ity education on the same footing as En glish, and considerably mitigates the Irish grievance, thus preparing tho way for future additional and reorganizing change, i the Protestant interest can ever consent to admit the Catholics to a share of administration, and the Catho lics can ever content themselves with a share only.' See in another column the advertise ment headed "I Will Edp Any Man." JFAX3I AND HOME. Rcw Way of Watcriaa; Plants. The Agriculturist gives an account of the mode adopted by some successful raisers of big tomatoes and magnificent roBes for feeding the plan ta-with sewage water. Pipe tiles are, placed so as to run directly down the body of the roots, and down these pipes tho water is poured whenever the weather, is dry. This pre-, vents the crusting and baking of the surface, resulting from tho common mode of watering. The Country Gen tleman suggests an improvement of some importance, namely, to fill" the tile with librous litter or coarse manure, which will allow the water to en,ter, but prevent the roots from becoming dry by the escape of moisture up through the chimney which the tiles would other wise form. For most crops such an arrangement would hardly be worth while, except with those who are ambitious to raise " big tomatoes and magnificent roses." But something like it pays in celery culture. After the earthing up begins, the roots are almost certain to suffer for want of moisture. Sprinkling the surface does no good, as the water can not penetrate to the roots, and is apt to rust and injure the leaves.. .But if pipe tiles are set upright in tho rows at in tervals of two or three I eot, thoy keep, open a passage for water to the roots after the plants are earthed np. Core for Horses' Vtg. Few men who handle horses give proper attention to the feet and legs. Especially is this tho case on farms. Much time is often spent in rubbing, .brushing and smoothing the hair on the sides and hips, but at no time are the feet examined and properly cared for. Now be it known that the feet of ahorse require more care than the body ; they need ten times as much, for in one re spect they are almost the entiro horse. All the grooming that can be done won't avail anything if the horse is forced to stand where his feet will be filthy. In this case tho feet will becomo disordered, and then the leg will get badly out of fix, and with bad feet and bad legs there is not much else of the horso fit for any thing. Stablo prisons generally aro ter ribly severe on the feet and legs of horses, and unless these buildings can afford a dry room where a horso can walk, lie down, or roll over, they are not half so healthy and comfortable to the horso as the pasture, and should be avoided by all good hostlers in tho country. Improvements Far. A correspondent of the Rural Sun writes : I often hear it asserted that it does not pay to improve land if yon wish to sell. "Tho profit you receive will not pay for tho improvements." I think every day's labor will pay a man two dollars. I purchased a small tract of laud for 8700 cash, remodeled my new farm, reset the fences, set out 150 fruit trees, and sowed my woodland in grass, sowed a nice meadow, and after all was done, I was offered in cash for tho property 1,200. I therefore think it will pay every farmer to improve his land. Every man who has a farm can always find something to do that will eventually remunerate him. Fill up tho small gullies, which, if left, would soon be large ones ; cut sido branches ; clean out the fence corners, so that stock may not be tempted to push it over, and that the fence may bo kept dry and pro served from rotting ; haul out tho manuro that lies around your barns wasting and giving your horses the scratches. Gooil Coffee. The American Rural Home of Roches ter, one of tho most reliable papers, gives tho following advice as to good coffee, in which all are interested : For a long time I used the coffee ground as coarsely as it is usually sold in the shops, Although procuring tho best berries possible, I did not uniformly succeed in obtaining at the breakfast-table, afirst rate beverage. I consulted many wise acres, somo of whom said that tho water used should be hotter, others that the coffee should be Boakcd in cold waler, etc., etc. By accident, ono day I hap pened to have tho coffee reground to the fineness of snuff. Herein lay the mys tery. I have never since failed to obtain a strong, full-flavored beverage, and that, too, without using so large a quan tity of coffee. To Bxtract Grease-Spots from Books or Paper. Gently warm the greased or spotted part of the book or paper, and then press upon it pieces of blotting-paper, ono after another, so as to absorb as much of the g:caso as possible. Have ready some fine, clear, essential oil, or turpentine, heated almost to a boiling state ; warm the groased leaf a little, and then, with a soft, clean brush, wet with the heated turpentine both sides of, the spotted part By repeating this ap plication the grease will be extracted. Lastly, with another brush dipped in rectified spirits of wine, go over the placo, and the grease will no longer ap pear, neither will the paper be dis colored. Fred Douglass was refused the use of the opera-house in Lexington, Ky., for a lecture. THE BENDER 31 VRVERSA HOfflliBLE RECITAL. The story of the discovery of the body of Dr. York and the other murdered victims .of the Bender family in Labette county, Kan., sounds like the tales of murder and robbery which, years ago, wero related round the family hearth stone, while children hid their faces' in terror and huddled closer together as' they crept to their beds, afte.- the recitaL All the surroundings are here in this tale of reality that added interest and fascination to those stories of child hood. A lonely tavern on a lonely road; a strange family in charge of it; a trap door, a well beneath, and a gang of reckless murderers, men and women,- to entice tho traveler, supply Tiis supper and bed, and while unconscious rob and murder him. The Bender family consisted of four persons, all adults Bonder, his wife and daughter, and a son. They are supposed, however, to hare had accom plices. The daughter was. a Spiritual ist and professed to be a healing me- minm.- See advertised herself as such in the neighboring papers, and doubt less a number were attracted to the spot "by this means "who never left it alive. Persons coming from a distance to visit tho daughter kept the matter quiet through fear of ridicule ; and this ex plains the fact that, though people have been mysteriously disappearing in their neighborhood for some time, no sus picions wero excited until the sudden and altogether unaccountable loss of Dr. York. On the 0th of March Dr. Y'ork-(brother of Senator York, who gained so wide a notoriety through his connection with tho Pomeroy case) left Fort Scott for his home in Indepen dence, Kan. He was .mounted on a valuable horse, and had a large sum of money with him. Tho time passed for his arrival home, but ho did not come. As his absence grew prolonged, fears were excited for his safety. His brother left for Fort Scott to inquire for him, and learned that; he,had departed from there at the date above stated. Secur ing assistance, CoL York proceeded to traco the missing'man. He was followed as far as Cherryvale, a small town on the Leavenworth and Kansas railway, about two miles from the homo of the Bender family. There all traces of him wero lost. Inquiries wero made of' the family, but they stated that -no person answering tho description had been seen by them. .Suspicion had not yet set tled upon them, and perhaps would not had it not been for their own conduct It is supposed that they became alarmed at the urgency with which tho search was prosecuted, for they suddenly dis appeared. The premises were shortly after examined, but for some time no discoveries were made. At last a trap door was found in a gloomy room, and, lifting this, some of the party descended into a sort of well beneath, the bottom of which was thick with clotted blood. Horror stricken, the men prosecuted their search with renewed energy, "and at last in the garden in the sear of the house discovered the body of the miss ing Dr. York. It was divested of clothing and buried face downward in a grave or hole about two feet deep. An examination showed that tho skull had been fractured with a heavy weapon, presumed now to have hcen a 'hammer, two of which were found in the house.. A further search revealed more graves, and at latest accounts eight other bodies had been discovered, ono of them that of a little girl who had been murdered with her father. The excitemont consequent on the unearthing of this wholesale slaughter is intenso, and, as usual in such cases, injustice is liable to be dono to innocent parties. Inter-Ocean. JE WISH EMIGRA TWN. Tho New York Herald says : There haYo lately arrived in this city several wealthy- Hebrews from Roumanian in Europe, who have como to. tho Western World as pioneers of several thousands of their co-religionists, resident in Ron mania, who intend coming over hero during tho courso of the present year, when arrangements shall have been made for" their residence in this new land, and it is considered that the exodus will probably settle near Lin coln, the capital city of Nebraska. In modern or ancient history hardly any parallel can be found to the1 atrocious persecutions which have befallen this race in Roumania, whero a couple of years ago a large number of them wero slaughtered at. Berlad and other places, while their property was burned and de stroyed to an immense extent It :is computed that, as soon as their colony has been fixed upon in tho United States, from three to five thousand will immediately proceed across Europe to Antwerp, in Belgium, where they win embark for this port It is reported by Mr. Jaroslawski, ofl23 West Forty-third street, that fully fifty thousand of the Jews in Roumania are desirous of pro ceeding to this country, and that an or ganization of friends has been estab lished in this city to help their perse cuted brethren who may arrive here. Sxs in another column the advertise ment headed "I Wilt Help Any Mom." THE LA TE JUDGE CHASE. Salmon Portland Chase was born in Cornish, N. BL, Jan. 13, 1808, and had just entered his 66th year. Id 1815 his father' removed to Keene, N. H. In 1820,, when 12 years old, his father being dead, he went to Worthington, O., where he was under the care of his uncle, Philander Chase, Bishop of Ohio. He attended the Cincinnati College for one year, and,, returning to New Hampshire, in 182 entered Dartmouth College and graduated in 1826. The next winter he opened a private school in Washington City. . In 1829 was admitted to tne oar, having read law in the office of. At torney-General Wirt. In 1830, he re turned to Cincinnati, and has ever since made bis home in' Ohio. He became early identified with the AntirSlavery party, and was an earnest and steadfast opponent of the slave power. He was elected to the United States Sena to from Ohio in 1849. In that body ne strongly opposed tho compromise measures proposed by Mr. Clay, and, by way of amendments, sought to exclude slavery from tho Territories. In 1854, he strennously opposed the .Kansas; Nebraska act; prepared an address to tho people remonstrating against it, and he continued his opposition to it down to the hour of its passage. In 1855, ho retired from tho Senate, and that 'same year was elected Governor of Ohio. In 1857, he -was again elected, and closed his secend term in January, I860. On the 4th of March, 1861, he entered Mr. Lincoln's Cabinet as Secretary of the Treasury. This latter office he resigned on the 3d of June, 1864, and on the 6th. of December, in the same year, he was appointed by Mr. Lincoln Chief Justice of the United States, to succeed Judge Taney. AS EYERT-DAX SCENE. . Did you ever see a man fish around in the bottom of a tub of water for a piece of soap ? At the first attempt ho simply reaches down upon it to pick it up, and isrverymuch surprised to find that he hasn't got it Then he approaches it more cautiously, puts his hand over it, and then .comes down noiselessly until he gets every finper upon it, and then squeezes it tight, and misses it He looks at it for a monent before maknig another effort, and fills up the interval with a few remarks. The third attempt is a sort of semi-circle, described with a great deal of sagacity, but is a failure. Other remarks follow. Then he makes a succession of dives, and slops tho water over his clothes, and drenches the carpet, and catches hold of the soap several times, and lets go of it again, and screams at the top of his voice, tmd finally, in perfect despair, sits down on tho floor and actually howls. Danbury News. There was an elderly gentleman wend ing his way to the barber shop Saturday afternoon. Coming from an opposite direction was an unshaven man. The shop lay between them. Tho unshaven man quickened his step; tho elderly man struck into a trot Then the un shaven stopped to look into a window, and the elderly man came back to a walk. Up started the unshaven man again, and the elderly man resumed his trot The unshaven man once more slackened np ; so did the elderly man. Then the unshaven man quickened his gait, and the elderly man once more struck into a trot, and reached the door panting and puffing as the unshaven man went by. And yet .women are dis satisfied with their sphere. Danbury News. Nor long ago the old hippopotamus at the London Zoological Gardens -suffered much from a decayed tooth. Informer times he would have been shot, as was poor "Chunee," the elephant at Exeter 'Change. Mr. Bartlett, superintendent of the garden, however, determined to pull out the tooth. He ordered the blacksmith to make a, pair of "tooth forceps," and a tremendous pair they wore. The "bite" of tho forceps just fitted tho tooth of the hippo. By skill ful management Bartlett managed to seize Master Hippo's tooth as he put his head through the bars. Tho hippo, roaring frightfully, pulled one way, Bartlett and the keepers pulled the oth er, and at last out came the tooth, and Hippo soon got well again. The Dea Moines Register believes there is one sort of a man whom even the revivalist Hammond wouldn't deem worth saving. It is the man who, when a barber shop is crowded at midnight on Saturday night, insists upon having his hair out, and his head shampooned, and his whiskers trimmed, and his mus tache powdered, and his face bay-rum med and camphor-iced and powdered and perfumed, and dried and perfumed again. A ,Modoe would do for a peace commissioner in effecting the civilization of snoh an individual " Sac, but True." Such is the head ing of an' item in tho Chicago Journal, wherein it is recorded that forty small boys, whose ages vary from seven to thirteen years, are at present confined in the Cook county jail Forty children locked up in the filthy cells of a prison in the cosspamoaahip of- murderers. thieves and pickpockets ! la not this a spectacle for aagels and for meat -t f-i-y' A SPIRITUAL ' BONe.- The times are all so fearful! r r? The heart so full of cares I To eyes that question tearful The future spectral (wares. , ,uA Wild terror creep and borer '' With foot so ghastly soft ; . ,? The soul black midnights corsr, , Like mountains piled aloft. ' , Finn props like reeds are waring, Tot treat is left no stay ; The thoughts, with whirlpool-raring No more the will obey. ( . "J, Frenzy, with eye resistless. . ... ,t Decoy's from Truth's defense ; Life's pulse is flagging lisUess, '" And doU la erery sense, n J Who hath the cross npheared,' To shelter and make whola ? ;'r Who llrea from sight reeerred That ho may help the soul T i Baste to the tree of. wonder ; . Oire siient longing room i Outgoing flames asunder Will cleare the phantom gloom. Draw thee an angel tender. In safety on the strand; . Lo I at thy feet in splendor, Outspreads the promised land. 8cribneTt "far May. VARIETIES. When has a man a ghost of a chanea of appeasing his appetite ? When he's, a-goblm up anything. A- voitno farmer in Rhode Island. being asked if he believed hi a future state, replied: "In course I;does, and I'm going to enter it tew, just aa soon as Betsy gits her things ready." Mas. PBTEB'Prraat'a baby wia making a tremendous' noise, and a friend', asked' Peter why it was so cross? "It has a stormy mother, said Peter, with a sign ; "you needn't wonder if it's a little squally, its quite natural." An auctioneer exclaimed.: "Why, really, ladies and gentlemen, I am giv ing these things away." "Are you?" said an old lady present "Well, I'll thank you for that silver pitcher you have in your hand." An Irishman, meeting another, asked him what had become of a mutual friend. " Arrah, now my dear honey, answered he, "Paddy was condemned to be hanged, but he saved his life by dying in prison." A drunkard, on being told that the earth is round and turns on its axis all tho time, said: "I believe that, for Pve never been able to stand on tho darned thing." This is a new but unsanctified version of tho old couplet which says, "I never had a dear gazelle, etc." : " Twas erer thus ; from cBuanooaw nonr I've seen my fondest hopes take flight, I nerer held a larboard bower, But some one took it with the right." . A Pennsylvania editor, disgusted with the ordinary prospectus, comes out fairlv and franklv. He says his paper is "an airy old sheet, devoted to wind, whisky, wickedness, and other reugioua matters. Vox Populi, vox Beelzebub 1" A youno lady teacher of a Milwaukee Sunday school recently narrated the Crucifixion to her class of little boys, and when she had thought she had fair ly engaged their minds, was surprised with "Bet you they wouldn't a done it if Buffalo Bill'd been there." A wife asked her husband for a new dress. He replied : " Times are hard, mv dear so hard I can hardly aeep my nose above water." Whereupon she re torted. "You can keep your nose above water easy enough, if you have a mind to: but the trouble is mat you aeep is too much above brandy." A QUArsT old gentleman, ol an active, Btirrincr disposition, had a man at work in his garden who was quite the reverse. Jones," said he, " did -you ever see a snail?" "Certainly," said Jones. Then." said the old man. "toh must have met him, for you could never have overtaken him." A fates speaking of strikes says: "You never hear of farmers striking." Now it occurs to ns that we have known of such things. We fancy that if, you should let ono of them catch yoain his orchard "borrowing" apples, or sam pling cider through a straw, -wo just hint that you would be apt- to see nim " striko." or, at all events, you might feel him striking. An Elm street boy smoked his first pipo on Saturday, and came home Tory sick. Ho didn't know what was, the matter with him, but his mother did. She gavo him two quarts of bo Besot tea, and put a quarter-yard of plaster on his breast and some mustard drafts on his feet Then she put him to bed, and darkened the room, and fed him on a new kind of balsam till Monday morn ing, when she allowed, she had got tb best of, that typhus attacbXUNDurv News. ' The Scbew-Driveb.- Every family should have a new screw-driver. ' The borrowed screw-driver hasn't got any handle to" it ; and if it has it is split The blade is too biunt for the screws, and one comer is gone; "It slips and sticks into your thumb, and breaks the screw in two and thrqws you off your feet, and it gete lost, rd; the owner comes around for it, and swears it was nearly new, and valued mostly om ac count of its associations, a hewowldiv't have had it lost. for tea timea is value in solid gold. You had better-.Wy a new screw-driver at onoe. Dtmbvry News. A 4l -,!