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KEPUBLlCyyif 0. E. PAUL, PuMi; Wisher. SAVANNAH, MISSOURI, FRIDAY, JUNE 6, 1873. VO;L.ntrNO,35.: BABY BUNTING. pa Tom Hughes'" Memoir of a Brother" there fel poem written by George. Hughes, prompted jy the Emreror Napoleon' diipatcli to (18 Empress bout ut0e Louis haling passed trough hl baptism of fire, that la Tory notable, jrfcit recent eff asiou la so charged with a fierce and lilttr scorn? Byt baby Banting, Baddy's gone a-hnntlng, Bath of human blood to win, To float bis baby Bunting in. By, baby Bunting. Whit means this hunting? listen, baby Bunting Wounds that yon may sleep at case, Death that yon may reign in peace, Sweet baby Banting. Xes, baby Bunting ! Jolly fun Is hunting ! Jacqnca in front shall bleed and loll, You in safety gorge the spoil, Sweet baby Bunting. Mount I baby Bunting, Bide to daddy's hunting ! On its qnlet cocky horse. Two miles in the rear, of course, Precious baby Bunting. Ah, baby Bunting 1 Oftentimes a-hnnUn, Eager riders get a spill Let na hope your daddy will. V - roor little Bunting! Perpend, my Mnall friend, After all this hunting, When the train at las mores on, ' Daddy's gingerbread " talon " May got a shunting. Poor baby Banting ! Curse on inch a hunting ! Woe to him who bloods a child For ambitions visions wild ! Toor baby Banting ! THE FLEA AND THE JPI20 FESSORi BY HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN. There was once on reronaut with whom things went .badly. The, .balloon burst, tumbled the man out,' and broke into bits. His boy he had two minutes be fore Bent down -with a parachute that was the boy's luck ; he' was unhurt, and went about with knowledge enough to make bim an leronaut too ; but he had na balloon, and no means of acquiring one. But live le must, and bo he applied himself to the art of legerdemain and to talking in his stomach ; in fact he be came a ventriloquist, as they say. He was young, good-looking, and when he got a mustache, and had his best clothes on, he conld bo taken for a. nobleman's 1 son. The ladies seemed to think well of him ; one young lady even was so taken with his charms and his great dexterity that she went off 'with him to foreign parts. There ho called himself professor he could scarcely do less. His constant thought was how to get himself a balloon, and go np into the air with his little wife, but as yet they hod no means. " They'll come yet," said he. "If only they would," said she. " We are young folks," said he, "and now I am professor." ' She helped him faithfully, sat at the door and sold tickets to the exhibition, and it was a chilly sort of pleasure in winter time. She also helped him in the lino of his art. He put his wife into a large table-drawer.; then she crawled into the back' part of the drawer, and so was not in the front part quite an optical illusion to the audience. But one evening when ho drew the drawer out she was also out of sight to him ; the was not in the front drawer, nor in the back ono either, not in the house itself nowhero to be seen or heard that was her feat of legerdemain, her entertainment. She never came back again ; she was tired of it all, and ho grew tired of it, lost all his good humor, could not laugh or make jokes, and so the people stopped coming, his earnings became scanty, his clothes gavo out; 'and finally ho owned a grcat,fiea, which his wife had left him, and so he thought highly of it And ho dressed the flea and taught it to perform, to present arms,, and to fire a cannon ; but it was a little cannon. Tho professor was proud of the flea, and the flea was proud of himself ; ho had learned something, and had human t blood, and had been besides to tho largest cities, had been seen by princes 1 and princesses, had received their high praise, and it was printed in newspapers and on placards. Plainly, it was a very fatuous flea, and could support a profes sor and his entire family. Tho flea was proud and famous, and !yct when ho and tho professor traveled they took fourth-class carriages on tho ;. railway; they went just as quickly ns Jthe first-class. They wero betrothed to each" other ; it was a private engagement that" would never come out; they never would marry, tho flea would remain a bachelor, and the professor a widower. ' That made it balance. "Where ono has the best luck," said &e professdr, " there ono ought to go twice." JTe was a good judgo of char-acterj-and that is also a scienco of itself. At last he had traveled over all coun- tries - wamea to go there. They cat Unnstian men there, to be sure, tho professor .knew, but then ho was not properly a Christian, and the flea was not properly i-.aman, go he thought, they might ven- tate to travel there and have good noeeas. 4 traveled by steamship and by "jkjg vessel ; the flea performed his I Kicks, and n thaw mf . ,v '5J ' J O"" I'w uu tho way, and arrived at the wild coun try. Hero reigned a little princess Sho was only eight years old, but sho was. reigning. Sho had taken away tho power from her father and mother, for shohnd a will, and then sho was extraor dinarily beautiful and rude. Just as soon as tho flea hod presented arms end fired off the cannon, she was bo enraptured with him that she said, " nim, or nobody !" Sho becamo quito wild with love, and was already wild in other ways. " Swoot, little, sensiblo child I" said her own father. "If ono conld only first make a man of him !" " Lcavo him to me, old man," said she, and that was not well said by a little princess when talking with her father, but she was wild. She sot tho flea on her white hand. "Now you aro a man reigning with mo, but yon shall do what I want yon to, or elso I'll kill you, and eat tho pro fessor." The professor had a great hall to livo in. Tho walls were mado of sugar cano, and ho could lick them, but ho was not' a sweet tooth, nc.liad a hammock to sloop in. It was as if he wcro lying in a balloon, such as he had always wished for himself that was his constant thought Tho flea lived, with tiro princess, sat upon her delicate hand and upon her whi to nock. She had taken a hair from her head and mado tho professor tio it to the flea's leg, and so she kept him tied to tho great red coral drop which she wore in her ear-tip. What a delight fid tinio tho princess had, and the flea too, she thought, but tho professor was not comfortable. He was a traveler ; he liked to drivo from town to town,. and read about his pcrsovcranco and clever ness in teaching a flea to do what men do. But he got out of and into his hammock, lounged about and had good feeding fresh birds' eggs, elephants' eyes, and roast giraffe. Peoplo that cat men do not live entirely on cooked men no, that is a great delicacy. "Shoul der of children with sharp sauce," said the princess mother, "is tho most delicate." Tho professor was tired of it all, and would rather go away from tho wild land, but ho must havo his flea with him, for that was his prodigy, and his bread and butter. How was ho to get hold of him. That was no easy matter. Ho strained all his wits, and then ho said : "Now I have it." " Princess' father ! grant mo a favor. May I summon your subjects to pre sent themselves before your Boyal High ness ? That is what is called a ceremony in the high and mighty countries of the world." "Can I, too, learn to do that?" asked the princess' father. "That is not quito proper," replied the professor ; "but I shall teach your wild fathcrship to flro a cannon off. It goes off with a bang. Ono sitn high up aloft, and then off it goes or down ho comes." "Let me crack it off," said tho princess' father. But in all the land thero was no cannon except the ono the flea had brought, "and that was so very small. "I will cast a bigger one," said tho professor. "Only give mo tho means. I must have fino silk stuff, needle and thread, rope and cord, to gether with cordial drops for the bal loon, they blow one np so easily and give one the heaves ; they aro what mako the report in the cannon's inside." "By all' means," said tho princess' father, and gave him what ho called for. All the court and tho entire population came together to see tho great cannon cast. Tho professor did not summon them before ho had tho balloon entirely ready to bo filled and go up. Tho flea sat on tho princess' hand and looked on. Tho balloon was filled, it bulged out and could scarcely bo held down, so violent did it become. " I must havo it up in tho air beforo it can be cooled off," said tho professor, and took his scat in tho car which hung below. "But I cannot manage and steer it alono.' I must havo a skillful companion along to help me. There is no ono hero that can do that except tho flea." " I am not very willing to let him," said the princess. But still she reached out and handed tho flea to tho professor, who placed him on his hand. "Let go tho cords and ropes," he shouted. "Now tho balloon's going." They thought ho said "tho cannon," and so tho balloon went higher and higher, up above tho clouds, far away from the wild land. Tito little princess, all tho family and peoplo sat and waited they aro waiting still ; and if you do not believe it, just tako a journey to tho wild land ; every child thero talks about the professor and the flea, and bclicvo that they are coming back when tho cannon is cooled off; but they will not come, they are at home with as, they axe in their native country, they travel on the railway, first class, not fourth ; they havo good suc cess, a great balloon. Nobody asks how they got t'jeir balloon or where it came irom ; they ere rich folks now, quite re spectable folks indeedthe flea and the professor. FOREIGN GOSSIP. See in another column tho advertise ment headed "I mil Help Any Man." Land was lately sold in tho city of London at tho rate of 32 a foot, or 1,700,000 per acre ! Twenty-four books were pnblished in Japan last year, of which nearly all wcro translations. With one exception, they relate to what wore till lately foreign subjects. Caiko, Egypt, has over ono thousand cstaurants or cafes, and nearly ono hundred public baths. Tho former are dingy and musty, and tho latter far from attractive. When n wifo in Turkey forgets to keep tho suspender buttons sewed on her husbandis trowscrs sho is patted on tho back for half an hour with a pine board an inch thick. Is Napoleon dead ? A correspondent of tho Paris Figaro says no, and that tho person interred at Chisclhurst is a counterfeit Emperor, whilo the real Bonaparto is traveling quietly through France testing tho political feelings of tho people. It is expensivo to triflo with life and property on railroads in England. A recent report mado in tho Honso of Lords shows that from 18G7 to 1871 over 8,000,000 in gold was paid by railroad companies for injuries inflicted on pas sengers, and during tho Bamo period $11,712,8-10 was paid for compensation on account of property destroyed. Miss Thackeray in her charming novel, " OH Kensington," draws n brief parallel between Paris and London. "Paris," sho says, "comes with a cheerful flash of light, a sudden multi tudinous chorus. Tho paved streets rattle, tho voices chatter, tho note is not so deep as the hollow London echo that we all know, tht.t slow chord of a great city." Herbert SriKCER considers tho co operation experiment, judged by its re sults, a failure, though he is a firm be liever in its ultimate success. He thinkB that tho laboring class do not nt present show that spirit of fairness and sense of justice which aro its necessary basis ; and that their treatment of their own fellows in their labor organizations shows clearly what a very poor article "working-man morality," like all class morality, really is. WHY WOMEN AIIE DELICATE. Another reason of tho delicacy of our women is the far greater stylo affected by all classes in dress, and tho wearing of corsets during early youtlu Naturally, if one has attained a full and fine physi cal development, tight corsets, heavy skirts, close-fitting boots and weighty chignons cannot injure to tho same ex tent as when these appliances of fash ion arc put upon tho soft and yielding muscles of a young and growing girl. The noblo ladies of England exercise many hours daily in the open air. They do not disdain to don heavy calfskin shoes and colored petticoats, in which to perform this duty. This, of course would not alono mako them as healthy ns they are, were not their constitutions strengthened by a proper physical edu cation beforo they arc eighteen years of age, but it suffices to retain them in a good degree tf health. Our fair Ameri cans early in the day attire themselves in charming morning costumes, with white skirts ; and then they aro averse to soiling these by exercise, and the least dampness deters them from a promenade. American ladies think far more of dress and fashion and spend more money and time on their toilets than any women in Europe, not even excepting ,thc French, from whom all our fashions come. A DARWINIAN SUGGESTION. Max Adcler, in tho Boston Courier, remarks : " Wo arc engaged now in de veloping a scheme for growing kid gloves upon tho original animal. Our old friend, Darwin, teaches us that you can do almost anything with breeds by judicious ' selection ;' and wo aro con vinced that, with a littio care, it will be possible to produce a beast whoso skin, when stripped off, will make a seamless kid glove. Our first experiments aro with lizards. A lizarcd has four legs and a tail. Now, wo believe that event ually tho off foro leg can bo developed into a thumb, whilo tho other three legs and tho tail can bo arranged as fingers. Wo are crossing lizards with short tails with those of long legs ; and we aro now looking around for a variety of lizard with a button or two on his neck, for the purpose of breeding it-in with the others, whoso eyes will answer for button-holes. The ultimate result promises to be startling. It will break-up the old glovo trade, and drivo Jouvin to suicide. Thus it is that human ingenuity advanccs'hu man civilization." Dignified clerk "Aro you going to marry yourself?" Facetious Patlander Arrab, now when did -iver ye .hear tell of a gintleman marrying himself ? Shure there's a lady goin' to be married along wid me 1" Ax impecunious swell went to three balls at once the pawnbroker's. THE IOWA TORNADO. ' An account of the fearful tornado which swept through two counties in Iowa, on Thnrsday last, has already been given in our columns in very graphic detail, by our correspondent on the spot. Incredible ns some of these details may appear, they aro neverthe less true. Ho words can exaggerate tho destructive power of ono of theso cy clones, when it gathers full force and sets out upon its errand of disaster and death. - In a level country nothing can withstand their shock. Tho firmly rooted mountains offer tho only barrier to their progress, and oven upon a mountain-Bido they will destroy trees, shrubs and vegetation, and hurl rocks about liko playthings, before they aro finally dissipated. Tho recent tornado, in its vnrious features, recalls that which destroyed tho towns of Gnmanchc and New Albany, in tho same Stato, somo years ago, with tho exception that tho Camanche tornado traveled much faster than tho Washington one, and passed over a much wider and longer extent of country, not having expended its forco entirely until it reached some point in Eastern Wisconsin. Tai their methods of destruction, however, tho two were precisely similar. In each of these dis asters tho samo peculiarity of total de struction was visible. It is not remark able that largo and prominent objects liko houses, churches, barns, or even trees, should bo rent to pieces when struck by this terrible whirling wind, but its capabilities for destroying, tear ing asunder, splitting and literally pick ing to pieces the smallest and most min ute objects oven, almost stagger belief. The eccentricities and freaks of these tornadoes in causing destruction havo no parallel in ony other of tho nattira forces. The Camanche tornado, liko that at Washington, plucEcd the feath ers from fowls, literally flayed cattle, disemboweled sheep, cleaned corn-cobs of every kernel, tore grass up by the roots, wrenched the leaves ont of books, tore tho leaves off from shrubs, and de nuded trees which were not torn up .of their baik. There was, in fact, nothing so small or insignificant as to escape their visitation. They wcro thoroughly impartial in tho bestowal of their favors, although tho results of their rough handling of things were not always the same. For instance, in tho Camanche tornado, one piano was whirled through tho air for at least an eighth of a mile, and when it caino down alighted like a cat, feet first, into the soft mud on tho river bank, none tho worse for its lerial journey, except that after such a shak ing up it needed tuning. All tho rest of tho pianos in Camanche, however, were torn into pplinters. In tho Washington tornado, somo of tho cattlo which took the same journey as the restescajKid un harmed, whilo others had their hides taken off, horns and all, or wcro driven head first into the ground. It is evident from tho operations of theso tornadoes that science can sug gest no precautions against them. Their origin is as mysterious as their result is disastrous. They givo no warning of their coming by any unusual agitation of nature. They leave no time for the cscapo of anything within their course. It has thus far almost always happened that their visitations havo been attended by a hot, sultry atmosphere, a still, dead air, and a peculiar yellowish light ; but these are conditions which often occur in tho warm season, and may happen many times in a summer without causing any natural phenomenon or disturbance of any sort whatever. Scienco may pre dict tho coming rain aud snow and im mediate changes in temperature. It may even indicate with certainty tho approach of heavy gales, but it can no more indicate with certainty tho visita tion of a cyclone than it can iho erup tion of a volcano or tho outbreak of an earthquake. Thirty or forty years ago, a littio whirl of dust in a villago Btrcet in Western Massachusetts, such as may bo seen almost any summer day, de veloped into a tornado, which swept for miles with terrific fury, until it was broken by tho Berkshire hills, with which it camo in contact. Usually, however, there is not oven this much notice given. The huge monster whirls through tho air with tho speed of a rifle ball, and swoops down upon a villago so suddenly that very few people in its course havo time to escape to their cel lars or other underground excavations, which are tho only places of safety. In an entirely open country, where tho view is unobstructed, tho approach of tho tornado may be seen for some distance, if tho sky happens to be clear, but even then its speed is so rapid that it strikes a village almost as soon as it i3 dis covered. It affords no data, however, for scientific research ; it leaves no traces behind except those of destruction. It is ono of thoso vast, appalling, and gigantio forces of nature whose mystery science has never been ablo to pierce. Chicago Tribune. Aiiitho departments of the Vienna Exposition aro filled with goods, except that of the United' States, which is still empty. So speaks the cable. Well, mil. tho lesson is a severe one. and it is hoped the next world's exposition will find the nation a tnne better prepared. AN IMMENSE CAItA VANSARY. The Grand Pacific Hotel, which is to bo opened in Chicago next week, is ono of tho largest hotels in the world.. The structure covers the block bounded by Clark, Xa Salle, Jackson, and .Quincy streets, 325 feet from east to west, 186 from north to south, or CO, 150 square feet. There aro in all 160 rooms, somo singlo and somo double-bedded, some in suites of two, others of three, and somo of five. One hundred and fifty rooms baths, water-closets, and closet room for trunks. All havo marblo mantels and grates. In order to givo a better idea of tho dimensions of this immenso building, and to enable tho reader to feel its bigness, the following figures are given : There went into tho Pacific Hotel 7,000,000 brick ; 12,000 cubic feet of limestones ; and -10,000 of sandstone. In connection with these, 10,000 barrels of limo and 8,000 yards of sand wero used. Over 500 tons of cast and wrought iron, in tho sliapo of beams, etc.; 2,625, 500 square feet of lumber were used in joists, rafters, beams, etc.; 237,000 in inside blinds and shutters 87,000 lineal fcot, or 18 miles, in base boards, and 73,000 in door and window casings,. and 52,000 sqnaro fcot of walnut and maplo flooring, and 66,000 of walnut and ash ceiling, covering jointly two and three quarter acres. Thero were 930 windows, 1,070 doors and locks, and 19415 pairs of butts and hinges. The price of all this carpentry work was 220,000. In connection with the plumbing work, there wcro used a mile and three quar ters of iron-soil pipe, and nearly as much of brass hot water pipo, 60,987 pounds of lead pipe, 6,000 pounds of solder. There went into tho building over eight miles of gas-pipe, and there wero 420 chandeliers with 1,518 burners, and 880 brackets with 1,180 burners, making 2, 898 in all. Thoro wore two fifths of a mile of speaking-tubes, and thirty eight milc3 of wire. There were put in of all kinds, 32,188 square feet of glass, being nearly four-fifths of an acre. Of slate and marblo tiling there is moro than half an acre. There aro also 320 marblo mantels and grates. Tho con tract price of tho building was $878, 339.21. Adding to that tho valuo of brick, marblo, etc., obtained from the old building, amounting to $122,518, tho total cost, exclusive of furnishing, of course, was $1,000,857.91. The mason and stono setting cost $195,000, the lime and sandstone $150,000, tho painting aud glazing $52,000, and the plastering $65,000. AN OLD MANS WALK. Contrary to my original intention to make easy progress tho first week or ten days of my journey, I was constrained to do otherwise, and my first day I made thirty-six miles in twclvehonrs ; second, thirty-fivo in twelvo hours ; third, nine teen in seven hours, delaying nearly half the day to lecture in the evening at Cor vallis; fourth day, forty-six miles in sixteen hours. Fifty days remained over for business at Engcuo City, where I wis weighed, and found n los3 of four pounds, bringing tho scales down at one hundred and forty-nino and one-half pounds only. At this point I increased my supply of food and changed my modo of eating, which beforo had been crackers of pure, unbolted wheat flour and water only (Graham crackers) dry, with somo stowed fniit as I could get it, to tho crackers broken up and soaked soft in boiling hot water, by which means I was enabled to out more, whilo tho fluid supplied tho wasto by sweating, which was copious. Thus, thon, I maintained about tho avcrago point of ono hundred and fifty pounds, I pro sumo, as that was my woight on arriving at Yrcka, after walking between thrco hundred and seventy and eighty miles. Forty-eight hours after arriving at San Francisco, in' tho samo dress in which I was weighed in Portland thirty-six hours before starting, I weighed ono hundred aud fifty-one pounds, a differ ence of only two and one-half pounds, after "footing" mora than eight hun dred miles. AFRICAN PROVERBS. At tho bottom of pationt waiting lies heaven. Hope is tho pillar that holds up tho world. Hold a truo friendship with both hands. If tho stars wore loaves, many people would sleep out of doors. All tho flowers on a trco do not pro duce fruits. Tho partridgo loves peas, but not those going into the pot with itself. A poor man has no friends. The Hartford Courant, having thor oughly collated tho facts, concludes that no cngino can run more than sixty miles an hour. It adds that some of the fast est runs havo been twenty-six miles in thirty minutes, from Springfield to Hart ford ; eighteen miles in twenty minutes, from Meridento New Haven ; fifty-four miles in fifty-eight minutes, on 'tho Bos ton and Albany road. One, at least, of these trips was made solely against time. The difference between a country and a city greenhorn is, that the one would like to know everything, and the other thinks he can tell him. OBSTINATE SCREWS Few things aro more vexatious than obstinate .icaews that refnso to move, much less to -be drawn out, and in the struggle against screwdriver power, suffer tho.loss.of their heads, like con scientious martyrs, rather than take a single half turn backward from tho course thoy have followed, and from the position they' havo been forced into. Liko obstinate children, they havo to bo coaxed or rapped pretty hard on tho head, according to circumstances; in fact, whoever has a tight, obstinate screw to "draw out," must keep his temper down, and his resolution up, quito as much to the sticking point as tho screw docs. If tho screw is turned into iron and not very rusty, it is only necessary to alcar tho head with the edgo of the driver, and lot a few drops of oil penetrate to tho threads ; but, finding that execssivo heat or rust has almost fixed tho screw immutable, then heat cither by placing a piece of hot iron upon it, or directing the flame of tho blow-pipo upon the head, and, after applying a littio oil, turn out gently; but care must bo taken not to let the tool slip so as to damage the notch. If, however, the screw refuses to come out, try to force it back with a blunt chisel, smartly but carefully tapped with a light hammer ; but, if. evidently nothing can dislodge the enemy, it is best to cut the head away and drill out the screw. When on obstinate screw happens to be in wood, merely give it a few taps on the head ; but failing in that, heat it with a piece of hot iron, when it will turnout easily. 7k6. WUAT TO DO IN EMERGENCY. Here is a useful hint on the best method of action when tho clothing of any friend iB on fire an accident which all aro liable to. Seizo a shawl, or blanket, or any woolen fabric, hold tho corn erf as far apart as yon can, stretch them out higher than your head, and running boldly to the person, make a motion of clasping in the arms, mostly about tho shoulders. This instantly smothers the fire and saves the face. Tho next instant throw tho person on tho floor. This is an additional safety to tho face and breath, and any remnant of flame can be put out more leisurely. The next instant immerse the burnt part in cold water, and all pain will ccaso with the rapidity of lightning. Next get somo common flour, remove from the water, and cover the burnt parts with an inch in thickness of flour ; if possible, put the patient in bed, and do all that is possible to seothe until tho physician arrives. Let tho flour re main until it falls off itself, when a beautiful new skin can be fotmd. Un less the burns aro deep, no other appli cation is .needed. The dry flour for burns is tho most admirable remedy ever proposed, and tho information ought to bo imparted to alL Tho prin ciple of this action is, that liko tho wa ter, it causes instant and perfect relief from pain by totally excluding all the air from tho injured parts. READY MONEY. Beady money is an excellent thing to have on had. No matter if it is only a little sum. If it is only sufficient for the current expenses, it is a great conveni ence, to say tho least. Any ono who has tried and compared the credit with the cash system, will readily admit tho cor rectness of tho above remark. When you buy for cash you generally get things chenpor get better weight and measure, and all tho favors tho dealer can extend to his patrons. On tho chronic credit system tho matter is usually reserved. If you try to avoid credit by borrowing, you improvo matters very littio if any. Hence wo givo this advice, "turn an honest penny" whenover yon can, and always, havo sufficient monoy on hand to meet your small engagements. Farmers usually depend upon their ono crop for tho means necessary to meet tho expenses of tho wholo year, and it is sin gular that they should thus depend upon tho ono singlo source, whilo the oppor tunities for a profit aro more varied on tho farm than in almost any other branch of industry. Put yourselves to thinking, and do not miss a singlo oppor tunity for earning a dollar, or a dime oven. Persevering industry begets econ omy, and both combined beget compe tency and fortune. If reports are to bo credited, tho Vi euna Exhibition has not so far proved successful. The Viennese were in too much of a hurry to empty the pockets of stranges, and the report of their exorbi tant charges spread far and wide. Tho bills of fare at the hotels have been in creasing from day to day, a dollar and a half being the latest charge for a toler able breakfast, and twenty cents for get ting boots blacked. Americans will bo interested in tho announcement that the proprietor of a hotel built expressly for transatlantic visitors openly avows his intention to get all his monoy back dur ing tho season of tho exhibition. Ex tortion seems to be the order of the day in Vienna, and after all it may not havo been all native corruption that infected our Commissioners, A man writing of the weather says "The backbone of winter is broken, but the tail wags yet occasionally." RATHER PRETTY. A pretty little maiden Had a pretty ntHec A pretty IriUe weddtef , -j Was the pretty Utile theme,' A pretty litUe bachelor To win her t tot tried, And asked her how she'd Ilia to bsj His pretty little bride.- With some pretty little blnihes, And a pretty little sigh. And some pretty little glances From pretty little eye; With a pretty little face, . Behind la pretty little fan, She smiled on the proposals " Of this pretty little man. Some rretty little ' lores," And some pretty little ' dears," And some pretty litUe smile And some pretty little tears ; Some pretty little presents, And a pretty little kiss, Were some pretty little preludes To some pretty little bliss. t This pretty little lady And her pretty little spark Met the pretty little parson And his pretty little clerk. A pretty little wedding ring United them for life, A pretty little husband, And a pretty little wife. VARIETIES. See in another column the advertise ment headed, "I Will Help Any Man." "Tit coins? to draw this beau into a knot," at the lady said when standing at the hymeneal altar. A VrsaiNiA paper describes a fence which is made of such crooked rails that every time a pig crawls through he cornea out on tho same side. A iouno man, charged with being lazy, was asked if ho took it from his father. " I think not," was the reply ; father's got all the laziness he ever had." An old ladv hearing somebody say that the mails wero very irregular, said : "It was iust so in my young days no trusting on 'cm." The wife of a Methodist minister In Tennessee has been seriously ill for some time. but. says a Southern paper in announcing the fact, "hopes are en tertained that sho will recover." Ana then it adds : "Let him (tho husband) havo the sympathy and prayers of Ms brethren in this hour of affliction and discouragement. " an Irishman once lived with a fanner aB hired man. The young folks of the neichborhod. on one occasion, bad a . party, to which they did not invite him. Pat considered himself very much shsrhted. but after cocitating tne matter for a while, he brirrhtened up. and ex claimed, " Faith, Pll be aven with 'em yet; Pll have a party mesilf, and I won t invite nobody." Drrnrso the war one of the Northern hotel-keepers was on a visit to Norfolk. The eggs came to the table boiled hard. "Look here," said tho hotel-keeper; " Sambo, these ems are boiled too nard. Now take mv watch and boil some three minutes by it" He gave the negro his splendid gold watcn. in aDout nve minutes tho f reedman returned with the eggs and watch on the samo plate. The watch was wet " What have yon Been doing to my watch?" asked tho North ern visitor; "why, it's all wet" "Yes, sah," said the ncgio ; " I bued de watch wid the eggs. All right dis time, sah ?" ALPHABET OF SHORT RULES. Attend well to your business. Bo punctual in your payments. Consider well beforo you promise. Dare to do right Envy no man. Faithfully perform your duty. Go not in tho path of vico. Have respect for your character. Know thyself. Lio not for any consideration. Make few acquaintances. Never profess what you do not prac tice. Occupy your time in usefulness. Fos.pono nothing that you can do now. Quarrel not with your neighbor. Recompense every man for his labor. Save something against a day of trouble. Treat everybody with kindness. Use yourself to moderation. Vilify no person's reputation. Watchfully guard against idleness. Xamine your conduct daily. Yield to superior judgrrcnt Zealously pursue the right prth. MERCURY IN THE SYSTEM. Prof. Hyatt delivered a lecture on mercury in Vienna, recently, when he exhibited the leg bone of a man whose death had undoubtedly ben hastened by mercury. On striking the bone heavily upon the table, out felRhou sands of little glittering globules of mercury bright metallic mercury which rolled about upon the black sur faco before him, collecting here and there into drops. This mercury had been absorbed during life, undermined the man's system, and proved fatal to him. The mortality among those who work in mines' of quicksilver, or in the works where it is reduced, k known to be frightful. In the celebrated mines of Idria, the men work alternately one month in the mines and one ia the smelting-house. But notwithstanding this, it appears that of the hundreds employed there, one-fourth becotae salivated.