The Bossier banner. [volume], September 30, 1886, Image 1

About The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952

Image provided by: Louisiana State University; Baton Rouge, LA

                
Established July I, 1859.
W. H. SCANLAND, Proprietor.
S2.QO per Annum.
VOLUME XXV.
BELLEVUE, LA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 1886.
MBER 30.
the prize ESSAY.
... the crowded platform and
air Was filled with cheers,
Iiiressay w is so sweetly blent
lii minified smiles and tears.
nor sub ect "Woman's Mission'' was,
She treated it with care,
in showed the line of noble names
Of women wise and rare.
-o do not think to wed !" she said,
... slave unto the r.nsr!
w«better far in fancy's flijfht
To soar on freedom's winjf!
"Too prone we are to think," cried she,
■•That marr njre is the sroal
m which eaeh maiden's pathway vends—
And all Life's currents roll.
.u r voice is st ll for liberty.
No bonds of love for me!
VII show the world a happy sight—
Alpinster wisely free!"
she tripped away amid the flowers
^ That flew from far and wide;
Iniust four months she was of course,
K proud and happy brid o !
—Cleveland bun und Voice.
A CAR ROMANCE.
A Hot Day, an Accident, and the
Result.
i.
■•AH-onnnuerlntr heat. O intermit thy wrath,
And on my throbbing temples potent thus
Beam not so tierce."—Thomson's "Seasons."
It was a warm summer afternoon.
The sun was sinking behind the tall
roofs and the shadows were falling full
half-way across the deserted street
Not one of them appeared to be able to
st:ind up. They crawled, stretched out,
and in every way wrestled with the
st/rn decree of nature which make3
shadows always fall; but their only
progress was toward the limpid gutter
and the granite curbstone opposite.
One grizzlnl old man with a palm-leaf
fan. a white sun-umbrella, a seersucker
coat, anil a contingent reminder of
wardrobe making tlia usual comple
ment, was the only person visible. He
dodged forward from house to house,
pausing where the shade was thickest
and driving aheàd with reckless energy
where intervening spaces let the sun at
him. He had nobody to express his
opinion to. but he was appai-ently
slightly displeased with the weather.
At the third corner from the place
where he was discovered by the gentle
reader, he sat down. A broad, cold
expanse of marble steps received him
and he uttered a sigh of pleasure. Sud
denly he got up again. The servant
had been washing the steps and had
forgotten to dry them. With a wild
despairing cry lie was about to make
public the s ntiinent; "S'Death, lam
undone," when the cheerful tinkle of a
bell was heard. He turned and it
turned. It came round the corner and
moved full force toward him. Attached
to it was a mule, and to the mule a
street car. Two minutes later, any old
resident of Philadelphia standing near
this point of vantage would have ad
mitted that it was one of the palatial
vehicles of the Nineteenth street line.
He raised the signal of distress and
whistled to be taken on board, but for
a moment his damp bandanna batHed
tire breezes in vain. The driver evi
dently did not notice him: he had the
front door open and was talking po
lit dy—as is the habit of Philadelphia
street car drivers—but firmly to some
one inside the ear. One or two pas
sengers were on their feet, and there
seemed to be a mutiny in progress.
The mnle. which at first seemed to be
listening to the driver's remarks with
approbation, turned away for a mo
ment to aim his tail at a By, and caught
sight of the neglected fare. He hesi
tated, waited for encouragement and
stopped. An old colored woman with
»market basket, who had been stand
ing near the back door trying to clutch
the bell-strap, shot out into the sun and
kissed the cobblestones very suddenly;
but there was no other visible damage,
and the old gentleman and his umbrella
"limbed into the car.
n.
"Tomarrv a wife. If we regard the truth,
isanev.l; but it is a necessary evil."— Men
ander.
% a sudden movement the mule
continued to stand still, and as it is
too hot to stand around with him.
readers who are interested may as well
come in off the hot bricks to the home
of Archibald McFadden. Thev will
find it more comfortable still, if
they make the time about eight a. m.,
when Archibald rose from his tardy
breakfast. He had no coat on, and in
stead of a palm-leaf fan, he had a fork
m his hand; but they would need no
introduction to him, for he had al
ready been introduced, later in the
nay, puöing along the hot street, sit
fngon the wet steps and climbing into
j«e bob-tail car. He was through
hreakfasting when he rose up, for
Archibald never left a good thingwhiie
Vi 1)1,11,l> was evidently pained,
ho held the waist-band of his trousers,
two buttons had departed and his sus
penders were left in the lurch. Gen
tlemen who have been unfortunate
enough t 0 have led a bachelor's life,
and ladies who have heard them growl,
arc afcare that the loss of two buttons
cn one side approaches the awful pro
portions of a fatal accident. Two but
ons so distributed as to make one de
j^rore on each side of the meridian
/ 6 are Hot of go much consequence,
I'v" 8t ? 1:lstlcs show that 738 out of
I er J **®0 bachelors live, move and
tml 0 tbelr bei "g tn that perilous condi
o - "ayhow. But two on one side!
... a,ul desolation! There would be
L 'hree inches difference visible
P u " llc * n the amount of striped
I* 1 "*« on duty at the ankles,
dirivti l8 , Case > that three inches applied
MoV,a 1 1 ° the ankles Mr. Archibald
ocn, and with that piercing,
analytic insight into the deep
problems of human existence which
alwayscharacterized his mental nature,
he saw that some remedy must be ap
plied. Ho was even then—at the
moment the fair reader discovers him
—on the way to apply it. He had
mingled his last last cup of coffee with
cogitation on the subject, and bad de
termined to try a nail. The fork in his
hand, hitherto unexplainable, was in
tended to wrench from its resting place
the desired article. Its head shone
bright as a tallow candle on a dark
night when he opened a cupboard door
and dragged out a box filled with black
bottles and marked in big letters
"soap." He smiled and wrenched off
part of the lid to get at it; then he put
the prongs carefully about its neck and
bent downward on the handle. There
was a report, a howl and an expletive
which, in justice to Mr. McFadden,
must be omitted. The tempered steel
had snapped short off and a pronged
hand struck him in the eye.
"Now, by my halidom," said he,
when the bright light of day struggled
into his retina again, "I can endure this
bachelor's life no longer. I must
change it for a better."
And Archibald McFadden was putting
this rash resolve into execution when
the reader formed his acquaintance.
For Mr. McFaddegi was a man quick to
act.
m.
Fate steals along with silent tread.
Found oftenest in what least we dread.
Frowns in the storm with angry brow.
But in the sunshine strikes the blow.
—Cowper.
As Archibald dusted off the seat with
his palm-leaf fan and puffed himself
into it* he noticed a young lady stand
ing near the front door, talking very
earnestly with the driver. The mule
resumed operations suddenly, but that
only disconnected the conversation,
without breaking it off. "What is the
matter?" said Archibald to a vinegary
looking lady of uncertain age who sat
near him. The lady drew the folds of
her dress a little closer to her, twitched
her nose slightly but firmly, and re
marked, with rather unnecessary vigor
that she was not in the habit of being
spoken to by strange men in the cars.
Then she relented a little, if her feat
ures were any indication, and finally
told him that he might find out if he
listened. He thanked her—for he was
never deficient in politeness—struck
her off his list of possibilities and ad
dressed his ear to the young lady's
story.
"1 thought that ticket was all right,"
she said, taking one moment between
each word for an attractive blush, "but
if you say not I suppose I am mis
taken."
"Oh oh-h-h!" she shrieked, after a
long look through the glass box. "It's
a Turkish bath ticket! I bought a pack
age only vesterday"
"Indeeä," said the prim lady, with
her nose and inflection rising at equal
angles, while the driver imparted the
information that neither he nor the
officers of the company were likely
to need such a thing. "Ï have afriend,
however," he was just going to say,
when the mule interrupted and the
balance of the proposition died within
him.
"I guess you will have to put in an
other ticket," he said, when he had
recovered himself..
"But I haven't one," said the maid
en, beginning to show the sparkle of
two tear-drops. "Didn't I tell you I
picked up the wrong package?"
"Well, then, some money. Five cents,
please!"
"I have none of that, either," she
said, tremulously.
"Well," said the driver, finally—but
Archibald McFadden, as we have seen,
was a man quick to act.
"Never, sir," said he, glancing de
fiance around the car; "no woman
shall be put out into the cold world
while Archibald McFadden has the
money to pay her car fare."
He had forgotten in his earnestness
about the temperature, but the senti
ment was all right. Then he put his
honest hand into his pocket. He
flushed a little and then made the same
effort on the other side; then he tried
his vest; then his coat-tails, and then
the pockets where more sanguinary
men carry their revolvers. His hair
stood straight up as the search was
finished and the palm of his hand still
showed empty air. He would have
said nothing about the cold world if he
had spoken again. It was remarkably
warm on his side of the car.
"Well, then," began the driver once
more, "I was just going to say, when
that old codger interrupted me, that I
would let you ride free. You can pay
the fare some other time."
Archibald breathed harder than ever
and the young lady sat down. There
was something about her he liked. The
fair hair rippled back from her fore
head like the wavelets on a sunny
brook, and her blue eyes beamed to
ward him like the violets on its banks.
"She is a better girl than the one I
am after," said he, "even if she has no
money, and, by Jove, I'll sacrifice my
self. I'll find out, however," he added,
prudently, "before the thing goes too
far, whether she can sew on buttons or
not." And then he braced himself up
in his seat and patted his hair down
with his left hand.
"Ahem, madame," said he. "Ex
cuse me, but I was just in the act of
helping you when that driver coarsely
interfered. Can I be of any further
service?"
"No, sir, thank you," said the fair
one, sinking back into the corner as if
she were glad to be through with the
adventure and conversation.
Archibald was discouraged but not
east down. He moved a little nearer
and cleared his throat. "Don't let any
little feelings of reserve," said he, in
mild chosen words, "prevent you from
accepting a necessary favor from a
stranger. I wish," he went on elo
quently, throwing his whole soul im
preseively through his eyes, "to be of
any service that I can."
The young lady was speechless and
only shook her head.
"She is evidently-' affected," thought
Archibald. "Now to press on to vic
tory." He moved up an inch nearer
and had a choice word just ready to
fall from his lips, when the lady rose
suddenly, smiled at some one running
after the car. "My husband," said she,
sweetly. "You can offer vour sugges
tions to him." Archibald fell back
abashed as a stalwart young man, with
clear dark eyes and a big mustache,
climbed into the car. The lady greeted
him enthusiastically, like one very glad
of his presence, and whispered some
thing in his ear. He turned, glared at
Archibald, and stepped toward hilft
with clenched fists. "So, sir-r-r-!
said he—but a swash which made the
car reel, a crash, the breaking of glass,
and the hoarse adjectives of the driver
stopped him where he stood. One side
of the car grew dark. He reeled, fell
on the floor, and Archibald, bleeding
from a cut on his forehead, fell beside
him. The lady shrieked, and an awful
howl rose from the other passengers.
The car had run into a hay wagon.—
Tid-Bits.
THE GREAT EASTERN.
Fate of the Most Gigantic Specimen of
Modern Shipbuilding.
After many vicissitudes of fortune,
in the majority of which the evil has
certainly predominated over the good,
the Great Eastern has at length been
turned to a use which is decidedly
pleasant, and which offers bright
promise of ultimately becoming very
profitable. For some weeks past the
great steamship has been lying in the
Mersey, and a kind of world's fair has
been held on board every day and
evening, to the intense delight of the
Liverpudlians, great and small. The
humors of that "Follvonthe Thames."
of which Ainsworth discoursed so pict
uresquely in "The Miser's Daughter,"
seem to have been revived in the levi
athan argosy which was the crowning
work of the inventive genius of Brunei
and the constructive capacity of Scott
Russell; but the somewhat too exuber
ant joviality which made of "The
Folly" a kind of floating Vanxhall has.
in the case of the Great Eastern, been
toned down and modified so as to be in
accordance with the scrupulously de -
corous requirements of this extremely
moral nineteenth century. The success
of the venture has been so great that the
proprietors of the enormous galleon
propose to take her from port to port,
always from an exhibition point of
view; and there would not seem to be
any valid reason why In process of
time the Great Eastern should not turn
up in the Bay of Dublin and in the
Cove of Cork, in the Clyde or in the
Firth of Forth, in the Downs or at
Millwall, or in Plymouth sound; while,
if some little difficulties in the way of
coaling could be got over—and what
obstacles are there which plenty of
ready money will not surmount?—she
might some day or other find the
heartiest of welcomes at Barcelona or
at Cronstadt, at Hamburg or at Rotter
dam, to say nothing of a trip round the
world touching at Naples. Colombo,
Madras, Calcutta, Bombay, King George
sound, Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney,
Brisbano and Auckland, and returning
by way of Cape Horn and the ports of
the North Atlantic seaboard. If M. de
Lesseps could only get the Panama
canal finished, the Great Eastern might
solve the problem of perpetual motion,
and be incessantly circumnavigating
the globe.— %ondo~n Telegraph.
NOTHING BUT TALK.
Pretended dissatisfaction of Wealthy
People With Their Riches.
Nothing i? more ridiculous and con
temptible jtban the pretended dissatis
faction of wealthy people with their
rich"3. An instance of this kind was
furnished jjy an Eastern paper the other
day. A Millionaire was going up the
Tribune «elevator, and, incidentally
hearing t!Jat one of the elevator men
had gone io see the base-ball match
delivered himself of the following rot:
"That ts right. Yon are not rich and
can afford to enjoy yourselves. I am
weighed down with wealth and must
worlc from morning till night to take
care of my interests. I wish I was boy
cutting somebody so that I might have
a rest." !
This is a fair sampleof agreat deal ol
talk that is heard from wealthy men.
It would be better left unsaid, because
nobody believes that it is honest or that
it is not arrant humbug and hypocrisy.
If these rich men are sincere they could
very easily lessen their burden. It is not
very difficult to get rid of one's money.
But they don't want to get rid of it.
They want to get more all the time, and
they work hard and decline recreation
solely foÿ this purpose. Instead of con
tractingtheir business, they go on en
larging 't. They are so wrapped up in
money-getting that base-ball has no at
traction« for them, and that is the real
reason limy don't go to see the games.
No, youi* average rich man has no de
sire to Ue a poor man, whatever he may
say to *he contrary. He is very well
contented, with his lot in life .—Chicago
Journal :
—Th>j nfght school at Sing Sing
prison $»r the benefit of the prisoners
which xfas started bv Warden Brush in
Januar^, 1884, is said to have aceom
plished '.excellent results.— N, V. Mail.
EMPRESS OF LOTA.
A Rich Woman Who Is a Potentate ln «M A
Heart of a Free Republic. i
I notice an interesting paragraph it j
an English journal which informs us
that a Leith firm has just completed a
handsome screw steam launch, which
has been built to the order of Mrs.
Couteno, a South American lady, who J
is reported to be the richest woman in |
the world. The launch, which is built j
of steel, is twenty-five feet in length,
and is to be employed as a tender to
her large yacht. (The large yacht is
engaged at present in the unpretend
ing but profitable trade of carrying
oal from Lota to Valparaiso.) It is
elaborately fitted up in polished ma
hogany and is to be dispatched forthwith
by one of the mail steamers from Liv
erpool for conveyance to Chili.
Besides being the richest lady in the
world, she also enjoys the singulat
privilege of being Empress over a tract
of territory called Lota, which lies
some two or three hundred miles south
of the port. It may appear strange to
speak of an Empress in the heart of a
free republic, but nevertheless the
fact exists, and so absolute are her
Majesty's powers that there are few
of her subjects who would be
esolute and courageous enough to
claim the possession of their own im
mortal souls, or who would not be pre
pared to deny that on the making ol
the place a special arrangement was
made with reference to coal deposits
between the Divinity and the reigning
monarch.
During her absence the Government
is carried on, much as it is in Ireland,
by means of a Viceroy, with this excep
tion, that while the Irish are not in
frequently rebellious and troublesome
and actually lay claim to the the right
of having a slight say in their destinies
either in this world or in that which is
to come, such a supernatural effort
never enters the simple and uncom
plaining minds of the population of
this remarkable portion of God's foot
stool. And why should it bo other
wise? The Viceroy, or boss Pasha,
and his court have been so long accus
tomed to licking and cleaning the boots
of their sovereign mistress, and passing
along their own in return to their
subordinates, who perform a similar
but humbler task, and keep the ball
rolling always downward, that it would
be at once a dangerous and unkindly
action to persuade them that they are
featherless bipeds and not dirt-eating
xutomatons .—Panama Star.
BOHEMIAN GLASS.
How the Most Beautiful Effects In Color
ing Are Obtained.
The ornamentation of the glass is
done partly in connection with the ex
posure in the furnace and partly in the
finishing shops, where the work is com
pleted by cutting, polishing, tarnish
ing, etching, painting and mounting
in metal. The glass-houses have at
their command a very complete color
scale for transparent, opaque and
clouded glasses. But it must not be
supposed that a crucible is placed in
the furnace for each color, from which
glass colored for eaeh ornament is to
be made, The colors are worked out
by means of what are called pastes
which are kept on hand in sticks or
cakes. From pieces of these pastes,
previously warmed till they are soft,
suitable quantities are cutoff, laid upon
the foundation of white or colored
glass, and then spread out by drawing
or blowing. By this means only is an
economical nse of such costly materials
as gold and silver compositions possi
ble. Some of the glasses thus treated
—gold, copper and silver glasses—re
main still little, or not at all, colored
after the melting, shaping and quick
cooling, and do not take on their bright
hues until they are reheated. This is
the case with the new yellow-silver
glass, which continues uncolored after
the inter-melting of the silver salt un
til it is exposed in the furnace again.
Very fine effects arc produced by blend
ing or overrunning of paste-colors,
provided proper attention is given to
in
the laws of harmony. A blue glass j
cup is, for example, overlaid with silver I
glass at its upper edge, and this is
drawn down in gradually thinner |
tones till it fades away at the foot of
the vase. Gold and copper rubv-colors
are thus combined with green glasses,
etc. Another brilliant effect is pro
duced when a still hot bulb of glass is
rolled in finely pulverized aventurine
glass, and after this is molted, and
previous to the shaping of the vessel,
is overlaid with a coating of either
colored or colorless glass .—Popular
Science Month'y.
The Nicest Nights Out.
"O, isn't it a lovely night, Adol
phus? Just fancy how delightful the
nights must be in the Orient! The
azure blue sky, the perfume of the
flowers, the soft tinkling*
"1 tell you, Miranda dear, I prefer
the nights they have in Alaska. They're
just immense."
"Immense, Adolphus?''
"Yes; for courting. They're so long,
you know ."—Philadelphia Call.
—A clergyman at Lebanon, Pa.,
when he began his sermon recently
announced that as soon as three of his
congregation fell asleep he would stop
preaching. The afternoon was rather
warm, and some heads became heavy.
After awhile the preacher observed
that three had gone to sleep, and
stopped his sermon. This made some
what of a stir in the audience, and soon
raised all drooping heads, when the
sermon was continued. — Pittsburgh
\ Post
VALUE OF ETIQUETTE.
A Dissertation on the Folly of Indistinct
Introduction and Kindred Topics.
There seems to be a growing ten
dency on the part of the average Amer
lean toward what I may be pardoned
for calling the anonymous or incog,
introduction. This introduction gen
erally starts off in a fortissimo strain
| that if kept up throughout the recital
j would herald the names of both parties
uttermost parts of the earth.
Then the piano and diminuendo strain
comes.
That is the reason we are acquainted
with so many people whose names we
do not know. A man steps up to you
in a crowd somewhere in one of tlioso
quiet little town meetings where it is a
mark of great conversational genius to
talk steadily onward without using the
mind, and says: "Pardon me, I want
to make you two people acquainted.
You ought to know each other. You
both friends of mine. Mr. -,
Mr. -. There, now you are ac
quainted!"
Why a man should write a long let
ter and write it plainly, signing it at
the end with a name that would have
bothered Daniel to decipher, is more
than I can understand. It Is the same
style of peculiarity as the anonymous
introduction exactly. I may be a lit
tle careless about my penmanship
while writing in a great hurry, trying
to keep up with my surging thoughts,
butl most always sign ray name so
that it can be deciphered. I have
written letters where the signature was
the only thing that was absolutely be
yond the possibility of doubt. Blit if a
man signs his name so that you can
write to him and ask him what the
balance of his letter was about, it is
aetter than a long beautiful letter
from an unknown and unknowable
jerson. In the latter case you are left
0 kick the empty air.
Some day when I get more time I
im going to prepare a long, treatise
îpon etiquette and deliver it to the
American people, illustrated by one of
!hoae stereopticons. Etiquette has
been a life-long study for me. It is a
ihing that has engrossed my attention
from my earliest boyhood, and it shows
itself at once in my polished manners
and easy running carriage.
At table especially our American
people need a great deal of training.
Wherever I go lam struck with our
lad need of careful training. As a
country we need careful instructions in
our manners, more especially at hotels.
Only the other day, at the table d'hote,
1 heard a man ask for half a dozen
buckwheat cakes, and when they came
to him he moistened the tips of his lin
gers in a finger-bowl and ran over the
cakes as he would a roll of currency,
for he was the assistant cashier in a Na
tional bank. Another man at the same
table was asked to pass the pepper
box and he took it with his thumb on
the bottom and his two first fingers on
the top, jnst as he had been in the
habit of moving a stack of chips from
the ace to the deuce, no doubt for
rears.
So we as a people crowd our voca
tions to the front and we are not able
to banish our trades and professions
even at table. We should try to over
come this, and there are many other
features of our national etiquette
which we need to change.
Only last week 1 saw a fine-looking
young man sit at a hotel table combing
his mustache with his fork, and while
in a brown study the fork slipped out
of the mustache and plunged with a
sickening jab into his eye. We can
not be too careful in our intercourse
with men to avoid all appearance of
svil.
Etiquette always marks the true
gentleman and makes him an object of
curiosity, especially at a hotel. When
you see a gentleman with whom you
are not acquainted yon should look up
on him with genteel horror and shnd
ler two times in rapid succession. This
will convince a stranger that you have
been reared with the greatest care and
that your parents have taken special
pains not to allow you to associate with
j vulgar people,
I I started out to say a few words
about the folly of indistinct introduc
| tions and wappy-jawed signatures, but
I have wandered away, as I am apt to
do, and I apologize, hoping that the
genial and rosy-cheeked reader as she
sits in her boudoir, on thi* glorious
morning, looking more like a peri than
any thing else 1 can think of, will for
give me .—Bill Nye, in N. Y. Mercury.
A Female M. D. of Nineteen.
The advance of the ladies is as mar
telons as it is irresistible. Here is
Miss Dolores Lleonart-y-Casanovas, M.
D., who has just taken her doctor's de
gree at Barcelona, She began her
university studies at the age of ei ght;
when thirteen she became a B. A., and
now, at the ripe age of nineteen, after
coming out first in all her examina
tions, and taking numerous prizes she
is a fully qualified physician and sur
geon. Fancy a female B. A. of thir
teen discoursing on hideous diseases
with six-syllable names, and correctly
diagnosing and prescribing for her
brothers and sisters! But it is what
we have got to expect, and the fair
Jpaniard is to be congratulated on be
ing the first of her sex to show what
can be done in the way of rapid devel
opment. Miss Dolores, etc., may bo
fairly addressed, like her namesake
sung of by Mr. Swinburne, as "wise
among women and wisest, our Lady of
Pain ."—Pall Mall Gazette.
■ -"I do my best to bring mankind
nigher," as the elevator man said,
"but some will keen going down."
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.
—The first college annual ever pub
lished in the South was recently issued
by the University of Georgia»»
—The nobility of England give $100,
000 a year for missions, the Sunday
schools $500.000 and the "poorer
classes" $2,000,000.
—The Chautauqua University has a
non-resident School of Theology for
the benefit of young ministers and
others who wish to review their studies.
—The little Chinese Presbyterian
Church in San Francisco gave for Home
Missions last year $90; for Foreign
Missions $158. The Chinese of Los
Angeles gave $36 to one of the native
helpers in China to open a mission
school.— San Francisco Chronicle.
—Some vandal has stolen the ivv
planted by the Yale class of '86. It
was the gift of Mrs. Cushing, who gal
it herself from Mount Helicon, in
Greece, from the face of a cliff where
the marble was quarried for the build
ings of the Acropolis of ancient
Athens.— Hartford Post.
—A church in Morelia, Mex., ha.«
been agitated by a visit from the devil.
Nobody saw the gentleman in person,
but in a single instant every movable
article in the church, exept the reli
quary and statue of the virgin, fell tc
the floor. It was plain that only the
devil could have caused the disaster.—
N. Y. Time*.
—There are fourteen Presbyteriar
theological seminaries in this country,
with libraries aggregating 203,000 vol
umes; eighteen Catholic, with 186,000:
ten Congregational, with 118,986; four
teen Baptist, with 105,000; twelve
Episcopal, with 86,000; thirteen Lu
theran, with 52,000; one Reformed
Dutch, with 37,000, and six Methodist,
with 28,000.— Chicago Inter Ocean.
—The country is becoming rich in
schools and colleges. Public Opinion
(Washington) figures out that the dis
tinctively scientific schools number 92;
mauual schools, 255: medical colleges,
145; institutions for the higher educa
tion of women, 236; law schools, 57.
There are 370 universities and colleges
in the United Slates, with 65,622
students in attendance.
—The Catholic Review announces a
new translation of the Bible into the
Slavonian language by a Slavonian,
priest at Prague. It is to be published
at. the expense of a Slavonian dean and
priest, who has given 10,000 florins fpr
the purposz in gratitude to God for
sparing him to celebrate his jubilee of
fifty years in the priesthood. A copy
is to be given to every Slavonian parish
and convent church.
-Tho following advertisement re
cently appeared: "A father wants to
find a school for his son where a manly
and useful education will be given him,
and where the teachers do not fill the
heads of their pupils with humbug
storiea about nations that died and
were buried thousands of centuries ago,
not a citizen of which couM either com
mand a steamboat or manage a railway
station."— N. T. Herald.
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
-The recent volcanic outbreak in
New Zealand was followed by showers
of mud. How like a political cam
paign!—Alfa California.
—A donkey died of hydrophobia at
Houston, Tex., but no other citizen ol
the town has had an attack of the dis
ease yet. — Newman Independent.
«^-Marryin' a man ain't like settin'
alongside of him nights and bearin'
him talk pretty; that's the fust prayer.
There's lots an' lots o' meetin' aftei
hat.— Rose Terry Cooke.
— "O if my creditors were only like
my sins!" exclaimed Mr. Brown to his
wife. "Why, my dear?" '.'Because
my creditors call and catch me even'
day, but my sins always find me out."
— Spring field Homestead.
'What luck did you have fishing
Pennybunker?" asked an Austin gen
tleman of a well-known impecunious
character, who owes nearly everybody.
"Splendid! While I was out on the
wharf twenty men with bills called at
my house to collect money.''-^Teasus
Siflings.
—Lulu s grandma, becoming im -
patient with her noise, said to her:
"Lulu, you are a mistake; you should
have been a boy." Lulu was very
thoughtful for a* few minutes,' then
gravely answered: "Grandma, Go)
don't make mistakes."— Philadelphia
Call.
- In his capacity of debtor Jones
pursues some queer methods. "As for
me," said he, "when a creditor takes
it into his head to write to ms, I cross
him off ray list. That settles it; no
monev for him." "And when he
doesn't write?" "In that case I wait
until he does."— Judge.
—Dr. Gimlet returns empty-handed
from a day's hunting, and in response
to his wife's inquiries candidly con
fesses* that he killed nothing. "Why,"
retorts Mrs. G. slowly, "you could have
done better than that had yon staid at
home and attended to your regular
business."— Lowell Citizen.
—The deacon's wife wanted to jot
down the text, and leaning over to her
scapegrace nephew she whispered:
• Have you got a card about you?"
"You can't play in church!" was his
solemn, reproving answer; and the
good woman was so flustered that she
forgot all about tb~ text.—Boston Post.
—Brown—"I saw that Nancy Bean
just now; she is about as homely-look
ing woman as I ever set eyes on."
Fogg—"Nonsense, man! she's not sc
bad; she's a great deal better looking
than her sister." Brown—"Then you
know Nancy?" Fogg—"No: nevet
saw her. But I've seeit her sister."—
Vosly/t Transcript.