The Donaldsonville chief. [volume], June 14, 1873, Image 1

About The Donaldsonville chief. [volume] (Donaldsonville, La.) 1871-current

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THE DONALDSONVILLE CHIEF.
A WlIDR.AWA.XrE OME NIEWlPAPIE--BU.<uMulRIPTION PRICE, THREE DOLLA 18 PER ANNUM.
VOLUME 2. DONALDSONVILLE, LA., SATUiDAY, JUNE 14, 1873. NUMBER 40.
. -.. .. .nM JntE R 40.
Animson I nlasa( Oreerg,
Published Every Saturday Miorninqg
-AT
Doualdsonville, La.,
BYs
alI DET E. BENTLEY,
£)ITIOR AND PROPRIETOR.
TXFM1 . OF IUBSC1RIPTION:
Silne coi. (Po-, .r y~ 1, .................... $3 0
, lne O Ipy.riP i mInthat.................... I V(
Single c,'pit . . .................. I1
'ayable ivll Viably in advinole.
A N H' TI '8. il RATES:
A square ia the spºee flitten lines Agate.]
4Space. (wk, I me. 3amo..l lnlom."I yr.
SuaIl.r'..... $1 50 13 00 so 00 $9 001 $15 1(i
:'squtres... ' 50 5 00 9 5 00I 25 00
4 squared... 4 00 8 00 15 00 2500 35 0(
](ilulmn,.. 7 00 15 01 25 00 40 00 50 00
oolu1n.,. 12 00 25 00 40 00 55 005 5 00
Solulntl... 20 00 40 00 50 00 70 00 100 0(1
T'rannielt advertiiseents, $,1 50 per Aquare
flB.it insertion; 75 cents each sunhsequent
inrertion.
All noticial iadvertisements $1 per square each
iinslPrtionl.
(.ommnllnientions may be addrelsed simply
(niiE, D)onnldlonville, Ln.," tor to the od
itor and Iproprietor personally.
'lThei cord of Gen. Canby's hat was
found in C(aptain Jack's satchel when
he was calnturedl.
A Des Moiline (li.) woman gave her
hlii.and iimorphine to cure hint of
.chewing tobacco. She nlakes a nice
,looking widow.
The Kellogg Govenlment has paid
ayver 1(NI,0(N) interest, which was due
on past due coupoI U , since it come inlto
jlt W i'.
('erebro-spinial-meningitis is a tough
worli for telegraphll olperatorsi to get
,hold of on the wires. A Sioux City
lighl lilng jilker wlrote it out ' Cl'arabo
Spe.ncer's, Munagecrie."
--4*--
A Westerii drug clerk who pllt iup
o]lison for quinine, took the inatter
.very coolly, saying that the victim
was quite old and would have died in
:i fiw Iyears aIinWRv.
That was ain nnhappy editor wvho
roloe that " \'white pique costumetliit are'
'niw popular." anid was gravely in
t,.iuied Iby thell proof niext morning
that. ' whiite ,inc c ists tre iot popu
Anl ilnliocnlIt younllg man in I)ies
Mloines was asked biy lithe Rev. .%lr.
IlIani liiitnld, the lreviva\lit, if iie( was
I.lorinig for thle good ofhi is so.tl. "No,"
w\s tihe rleply. ' I work for Billy
M oore.
'l'ray Mansliteld Will wort ll, well
i.no llwii as the author of " Ilotspulr,"
"Lulu," "'Warwick Iklaplane" anlld
"lBeverly," was shot and killed in New
I ork on the 'ltrd ilnst., 'by 'his Rson, a:
yoiilth f lineteen.
Jones wagored Brown flint lie had
seen a horse galloping at a great speed
and a dog sitting en his tail. It sen4IR
an impossible feat for a dog to accom
plish, bitt Jones was right, and won
the moneyl ; the d(og was sitting on his
.44n44 tail.
Even in Mexico women are assert
ig tlheir right to win thelir own way
'to forttlile al.i .lnl'e. Seno.4ita Loztlano
Secently pi'eselltc 'her elf for .exrn i n -
.tion for a vacant prfetornso hip in the
C(ollege of St. t'atherine, andil got it,
oV4 ". six lilale COmpetitors.
All exchange says that; "a two
4story brick spring bed factory out
\\'esthas been tblllrnel.'" 'eople in
,the neighborhood wIsb have been ac
4lNustoned to sleep.otl two story brick
sp1ring Ie41,s wnill haIve to put lup with
somiiiething less .luxuwious for a while.
Thle remarkablo old man turns 1up
this ti11me1 in ('hester county, Pennsyl
valia. Ills name is Gill: his age
ninety-two; can read smallest print
w ithiot glasses a: t pensioner of the
5.1r )1of ]1lt, and canl walk ever so
mnany mniles, or cut any amount of
wood before hicreakfaist.
lBailey, of the D)anbury News., writes
;,o his paper frouy Chicago: A hitch
ing pust is a rarity here. When an
EIastEIrst muan coanes across a hitching
Jo"', Atl Chicago, lihe sits down and
.cries. Thely fasten horses by a strap
to an iron weight. which is left on the
'walk. These wcights occupy a pron
:1nut position ini a runawa y. .hien
a Chicago niIi sees ai runawaty horse
'oluiug 4down his street, he don't stop
to enl u4i wetler it w'as the result of
r.atiIlessuess or accident. lie merely
.,ys, "l eave'n protect uIs," and crawls
:under at stoop.
'This is from the Opelolsas Journal
It is said that the politicians in
,New QU:leans have begi.w to move in
:h111t tctm4lpt to organize one or two
.1,4w plarti4s. The straighlt-out l)ein
A,;4rits are to break off from the Liber
.1Is and unite with the dithtlr/ colored
..1 ,t he colored population who have
wealth and influnceu, 'Social equalitvy,
.,) ; c(rtain extent, is to be conctl e4ld.
\nd it is said that tihe Liberals will
o for the blacks direct. It is all in
eblllllrvo yet: but such dissensions will
n iln up 1with the wholt' loaf going to
"i, lp b-º'LiLon-: ;a: usual.
S Story of a Bachei .
There is no doubt in my find that
women were placed upon earth prin
cipally in order to cause unhappiness
to men; and this I say both from ob
servation and to speak candidly, from
sad personal experience. Nor do thing
improve as one grows older; for, i
my opinion, first love, puppy love,
or whatever else you may chose to
call it, is a disease much more easily
cured than that divine madness which
sometimes seizes upon the masculine
sex in later years.
About three years ago, having dis
covered that an angel vision visited
my lonely pillow every night, and
scarce ever quitted my side by day,
even during business hours, upon a
close examinatiou of my inner self I
concilded that I too had become a
victiml to that fell disease from which
no man1 may live his allotted timne
upon earth in freedom. In plain lan
guage I found myself head and ears
in love with a delightful younggirl of
sixteei.
Moreover, finding myself already
past the sad lRubicon of thirty, and
actuated by the mournful reflections
above stated-that to escape this uni
versal disease is i impossible, and that
when warded off until later years it
becomes only the more fatal-I gave
way to the malady which had seized
upon me, and so far from driving away
the image which dwelt continually
with me, I did all in my power to in
vite the celestial spirit, and further
more, deliberately made up my mindt
to request the actual presence of the
fair original whenever the proper time
should arrive; that is to say, when
ever she should have finished school.
Now this request, in imagination, I
very easilly made; but, somehow or
other, when it came to the 1bona lide
carrying out thereof. I found myself
suddenly So weak inl thel :lees tlhat
had I not bd4n seated I should cer
tainly have lost by balance and fallen
to the ground, and had not the sofa
11upon1 which I was accustomed to sit
been a remarkably conmfoIrtable one I
would have experienced a sensation
of faintnessamounting to a-sickness;
and( from this any one may judge of
the vehemence of Iny elmotions.
'l'hanks, however, to the comfortable
sofa, and more perhaps, to the resolu
tion that I would put matters off until
next evening. 1 never actually either
til riupol the llour nor hfinted quite
away.
1The' (tlij',ect of my Wdrsllipj,. whil onl
-tllºe oaesionl waft -.hted hlidre me,
iperceiving notfing of these internal
from oft relpetition heenllme an hahitunal
-thing. T'hi", however, only enused
m)I to appear lpoetical andl interesting
in tihe eyes (f mIvy beloved, thus caus
ing thi ros0s to llooImn, more hiiIntifilly
than el ulpon iher check, and her
iciws to Aline mIore brightly than they
would otherwise have done.
The efflect produced was electrical
and mutual, and being thus prepared
lly readers will not beo stonished to
learn that one evening, thel gas being
lowered, on aceollnt of tile lunsquitoes,
Lavinia's father and lmother having
gone to church, tile younrer children
in hbed, the servants in tie kitchen,
and there having been for so1me timne
ino ring atthe door-bell, ill colnsequence
of this exquisite combination of cir
enmlntanees, Lavinia and I found
ourselves, neither of us could tell heow,
our Ihands clasped, the ice broken, the
roses bLlootuig withl astonishing bIil
liancy al both oWri cheeks, and-if I
sh.ould say Imore I would spoil what
I have said. I only know that an in
tillc't warned m of the approach of
ten o'clock, at. which time her father
and motherl might h1e expected to enter,
and thlerefore I left he1r, but not until
1 nhad imprinted one dear. delicious,
ibshflll kiss upon her lovely lips.
lHow closely united in this life are
thec romantic and practical! Follow
ing uIpon that evening camell the lnxt
mnorning. dluling the course of whlich
I found myself closeted with thel father,
and discoursing on stocks, bonds, real
estatie, business proslects, a11nd1 other
kilndlred wtatters, upon all of which I
was armed to thle teeth and fully pre
pared.
T'1ih1s the. afltir was settled, with
Int one sa'ving clause, which was that
on ;account of Lavinllia's youth thelt
grand tinale should be delayed for
the space of two years. Her father
also made a request of 1ne, which I
thoueghlt a cruel one41, but being from
the, force of cireunltances in a sub
missive and yielding fraimel of mind I
gave way. This was tlhat in conllsid
elration of her youth I should not see
my divinity for the space of that tinme,
during which her character would ac
qluire stlengtll, anid he' affection for
1i1, if real, wvould only illcrease.
heing a man of honor I determined
to keep Illy profmise, and knowing
this to be iulmpossible unless some i1
passable barrier divided us, I resolved
to place the roaring ocean between
Ius, and moved also by considerations 1
of gain, I went to China. Meantime
I waited with difficulty thlle rolling
away of the appointed two ye'ars, .and
calciulating the time which woull he
consuIlled )by the voIyagLe, I set sail, ill
order to arrive in New York iby the
ctnding of my probation.
Passing over the long voyage, dur
ing which a fearful contest was waged
between sickness on the one hand andl
dcevot ion to miiy inaiuol'ata on the other,
:and leaivilng iii the background all tile i
varied little disagreceableuess of land
ing. 1 twill, together with iny repectedi l
sell'. taun-llport my reader .to the dour
steps of the stately mansion which
sheltered the beloved of my soul.
Inasmuch as I had lingered on the
way in order to render my toilet ns
elegant as possible, the street lamps
were lighted up when I finally reached
my destination. Darkne,-s was fall
ing on the earth, but through the sur
rounding gloom my spirit soared aloft,
sustained by celestial visions-visions
of my youthful charmer, all grace and
innocence, yielding gently to my iml
passioned greeting. More beautiful
than ever I was assured that she had
rown, and as to her constancy I
doubted not for a moment.
I reached the house, and with a
heart bursting from too mulch happi
ness, ascended the high brown stoop,
affected as I (lid so almost to tears by
the thought that very soon now I
should purchase a high stoop browul
stone house of my own, and that she
and I would day by day ascend and
descend the same in company together,
made one forever. Strange to say,
the door stood open, and I know not
by what impulse, but probably be
cause I was transported beyond the
bounds of sense and in the, mood to
do unlikely things, I entered without
ringing, and advanced unannounced
into the drawing room.
Overcome for the moment, I seated
myself on a sofa the dim outline of
which half showed itself in the twi
light, for the gas had not been lit. I
heard voicees-from the inner parlohr.
Whatt The voice of my charme(r!
Angelic sound! Enraptured, I held
my breath to listen.
"He might be here any day ; the
steamship is due."
Heavens! What happiness! Hler
whole soul wrapped in mine! Think -
ing, talking of my coming ! Invol
nlmitrily I grasped my vest pocket, in
which lay an elegant jewel case, greet
ing present for my darling.
But I mnust hear those tones again.
I did. Softly, sweetly she continued :
" I don't know what I shall say to
the silly goose; I wish he would stay
away."
".Silly goose! Silly goose !" that
could not. he myself. Impossible!
But a cold shudder ran from the top
of my head to the soles of my new
boots. Now I must, I would hear. I
heard.
"lie is getting bald, too."
" Bald ! " thought 1, and I put. my
hand to my head. Sure enough, I was
a little bald. Of course I had knowni
it all along; but then--well, this wc-as
.ulspicious. I must hear the rest. I
heard:
".lust think of it- nearly flfty Iv.ai
old, andl gettin.g lehlt!"
lHetweeln thirty and forty : that was
"And I only eightelin."
My love was eighteen, pnvici-.ly.
''" irls of sixteen are so silly. Ile
took adlvantage of ime, for indeed, a
child of that age thinks she is in love
with any body. lie haplpened to be
the first one, and I knew no better.
Now I aim a young lady and know my
own umind. I know that I care only
for you. But here is the difliculty.
The old creature has mitalde money- out
there in China, and papa will be angry
with me if I do not marry hlim."
No more doubtinlgs--no more fears.
It was I she called '' the old creature."
''o whom did she speak I A inasei.linje
voice replied :
"Your own Charles, darling, will
make money too."
Thie voices cea.;sed and a slight, rust
ling was heard. A flash ! A servant,
had come in to light rthe gas. A mno
ment more and the front parlor would
be illuminated. Quick! Now or Ine
er!
A rush. and I was gone. Cone
through the open door--goll dfown
the high stoop. And my visions? Gone,
too.
I could have fotrgiven all, hut thlat
she had called mi, "' the old c|rea
ture."
In the I'aka.ine (Russia) the women
court more generally than the men.
When a young woman fills in love
with a ,iman she is not in the least
ashamed to go to hisfat.her's house and
reveal her passion in the most tender
and pathetic manner, and to promise
the most sulmlissive olbedience if he
will acc(pt. her as his wife. Should
the insensible 111man pretend any x
cese, she tells him she is resolved
IIever to go out of the house until lihe
gives his consent, and accordingly
taking up her lodgings, remains there.
If he refused her, his case becomes
exceedingly distressing. '!'The church
is commonly on her side, and to turn
her out would provoke her kindred
to revenge her honor, so that he hasi
no method left but to betake himself
to fight till IIl is otherwise disposed
of.
The International Typographical
Union convened at Montreal last Tues
day, President Ilammond of New Or
leans in the chair. One hundred and
twenty delegates present. The fol
lowing officers were elected for the
ensuing year: W. ItR. McLean of
Washington, President; Win. Kennie
dy of Chicago, First Vice President;
W. G. Collins of Cincinnati, Second
Vice President, and JI. E. Hawkins of
Memphis, Corresponding Secretary.
A fellow entered a wood-turner's
shop. and asked the proprietor if he
(lid all kinds of turning. Receivin g
an affirmative answer, he coolly re
quested him to turn a couple of hand
springs and a flip-tanp. TIhe hunmor
was quickly turned out of the shop.
Solomon's Temple.
The skill, the art, the mighty toil,
that have been devoted to the adorn
neient, and to the desecration, of thiis
most ancient place of worship, have
been of extrardinary n'magnitcudle.
The grandest legacy of Egyptian anti
quity, the Great Pyramid, demanded,
indeed, p larger amount of naked ln
man habor; but in Moriahli there is a
comnpnhlion of the features of Nature
herself to the service of the builder.
In actual bulk, the Great P'yramid is
to the Te'nmple rock as five to nine, if
we desle.nd but as far as the sills of
the fives.ouble gates of the mountain
of thte house. If we carry the compar
ison down to the level at which the
lowest ftillndation of tlhe walls is in
laiil ini the rock at the angles of the
enclosure, tie bulk is three times that
of the Great Pyramid. The cubic con
tents of the mason's work may not
anmount to a tenth part of that piled
up by Soupnhis. But the hill has been
honey-combed with chambers and gal
Iclries, ald the declining part to the
south covered with vaults and arches,
to which (:heezeh can show no paral
lel. No merely artificial structure
could have so successfully resisted
the resolute eflorts of the two greatest
military nations of the anicienlt world
to destroy its (existence and obliterate
its imnemory. No other Imlllonulellt,
long surviving the era of Asiatic and
italian powenr, ca in ever, like the nolde
S:uictlnan, inark by its very ruins,
the successive periods of its glory and
its fall !
If we regard not so muich the evi
dnlce of tihe labor devoted to the work
of time Temple as the effect produced
on the mind by its apparent m:agni
thde, we may suggest the fdollowing
coiparisoni : the length of the eastern
wall of the Sanctuary is rather more
tlhan double that of one side of the
(trmeat I''ratmid. Its height., fronl the
flunldation on the rock at the so th,
and near the' northern anglhs, was
lnealy lI third of thlnt of the Egjyltilll
structure. If to tllis great height of
onll hundrlilled and fifty-two feet of solid
wall Ibhe added thle descent of one
hunidrell and fourteen feet to the bed
of the Kedron, and the flther el(evai
tliou ofl one hundred and sixty feet
attained Iy tlie pinnacle of the Teni
plhe porc"'h, we have a total height iof
fuir hundlreed and twenty-six feet.
which is only fifty-nine feet less thani
that of the Great I'vraunid. The larea
eof the' flace of the eastern wall is ilmoire
than d(oublel that of ollce side of the
p.l) rainid. Th'lus the i niirugliiicde of tlhe
olt [ lti il' oi ,ll f llll nl l t' ir (x
ticllº Ili . t Ihtl of linll other teit I .,i iii
the wrhl. Two anlphitheaitrs of the'
size of the ('olisealln wioueld hlcVe' storo1l|
Silthiln its cololss ll giidlie, 1and1 left
ImOlin to SIllr. The 4' liseint is said
itll lI vI seIatedll eightv-se.'veii tlihousandi
spectatolrs, anil nneI('lnluninda tech twenty
two thousanld nmore in its arliena mid
passages. For such Ii a IIniinher to
have been(ci c'ranniicedl witlinii its circle,
the' spac(' for eac.lh ('ersoennl limi st hiave
bIeenl limlitedl to sevenllte(,en inches by
twennty inches. Allowing two cubits
oeac' wly, or" flur slqui;re' cubits for
eaech worshippeillr iin the tempnlle, the
Samnctuary would have\ conitaiined thir
ty thousandl ; the Chel, excluding tihe
Priests' Court, twenilty thciiusan.d icoire,.
aiid thelre wouhld v'et hiave bIeeni rllooni
in thell (lreat (lot lniot nl the' cloisters to
nmaike tihe total i'reachI to more thain
two hundrllllledi l and teen thousand.-l-id
inbltrghc IJericer.
All About Printing.
Y TIi E FAT (4O.NTRlIBtTOI.
Th'lere is a prilevatiling ignoiratle re
garding the -,art of priliting. We17
know all aboutt it, bleinlg inl the lbusi
ness. (olia;tlh is believed to have
he.in the first prillter. lie did it with
It s feet, leaving hi, priints wherever
he went. iP'inters have been ion the
trampll, ver since.
The first movable type was in the.
fifte'thlll centurtt'y. It was never fully
decided who moved it. ;ut tenhur g
is suspecte d, as he was guttin' nnt'ly
every thing in tlhose days.
An edition of I.Donatus w.as the first
book printd41 from ioivahle type.
T)onat.is wa5 a ea.nnihal. lie would
have dtlol' et us if we hald I'bei(
arl'nilId abouilt thalt tilme.
''ll(T tiil. t letters were characters
imitatitI handwritilng. WVe would
like to catch ai nylody imitating oiri
hadlllwriting, lettered or unlettered.
oimlllan type was made in 146i5. We
didn'iit imiakle any uniitil thlie year ol
lowing. ;and we Ilhavenl't l.ade a great
deal silinc. Blt the " (reCcian type"
is our chloi'--miiad of Athens busi
I!.ness, 'o know.
l'rintiing Vias introduliced hitoi Pariis
iin 14711. tliig ill France, the iiitro
duction t was very fornumal.
The li I est size of tlype used for
h.bok.s is Grea( t Primier. We netver
got aill thiinii hnt little priiin.rs in dtur
outhifutl days. The smalller size`s it'
types . lEnglisll, Pica, Smaill Pica,
Liin i lrlier (mixed half and half
with (:leat Primer it limiake. ( reiat
Loiing Priier), li ourgeois. lrevier,
linion, Noplllarilil, Agate (iiow edit
ing a New York llpaper), Pearl, l)ia
imol and lirilliatlt, evidently very
similar.
Pearl is the smallest type found ill
ai ordinarlilily printing office. ('Cora
Pearl is aboulltl the loudest typ founlld
iau whei .
'Tllh type most in uii' fior advertise
itents is Nonpareil. W'l.re there is
llollipay there is very" little reil, now
In .\tn rica, ,:wrntehf are paid liv
tl ths lIh.itid em<l Vl o,'" li ' bhad a
girl named Emily-a sweet creature
and i thousand Eros we have since
seen who couldn't hold aceandle to her.
A good compositor will set, -correet,
and distribute ailout six thousand cmis
in a day of ten hours. The 3hoekiug
creature ! If he could set, etc., six
thousand emus in a day of ten lhouts,
how many Julins anl Polly Anns
could lie serve in the same manner?
(Answer in our next.)
The hand-press is said to have been
invented in 1450; lint, bless yon,
hand-pressing must have reached
way back of that time. The hand
press has been in operation ever since
young folks of opposite genders were
on earth. you bet.
Ink rollers are made from mixture
of molasses and glue. It frequently
beconmes necessary to watch the roller
boys to prevent their licking off the
'lasses.
The loe press was patented in 1847.
You ought to see hoe handle one of
his presses. Before the line was in
vented, newspapers were printed on
a shovel.
- --- - .
Border News.
The invasion of Mexico by Col. Mc
Kenzie in pursuit of thieves has re
sulted in more or less excitement
amoing the people on the Mexican side
of the border. Some reports say that
the excitement is very great, and that
preparations were being made volun
tarily by the people, of a military
character, as if they contemplated a
foray into Texas. We are not dis
posed to give much credit to these
statements. The legitinmate poputla
tion of Mexico will sec:rcely allow
themselves to be drawn into so sense
less a movement. The raid of MeKen
zie was not against the people of
Mexico, but against a set of manrand
hers who are, or ought to be, consid
ered outlaws even in their own coun
try. A raid into Texas, and the in
iliscrimiinimte murdcr of citizens there
would in no mianlner assimilate to the
actioii of Col. McKenzie, because it
would be the punishment of private
citizens for the acts of the military
which they were powerless to prevent.
It would he more; it would be the
murder of innocent and unoffending
individuals, which would call for the
quick and avenging power of our na
tional goverment.
It is trne probally, however, that
the Indianshon the Mexican side, do
contemplate such an incursion. This
is corroborated by the statement of
MI. lviat ,ri'en who ar'rived al Fort
(jalrk on the 22i1 ultimo. 'ht'l dis
i tc.lc s fi'omi the htllder give aliun
anit assuranc; that the JIdiians \\ill
e metI by l'ited States soldiers at,
evt'r\ i'rossig and driven lack -('res
Ici e (ity
The Red Ril'er errs mian discourses
thusly : There is one class of winged
insects in this locality that have ia
mnost decided affliction of '"hard
timne's." They are to he pitied as
being in a starving adl(I destitute con
dition, yet hard-learted, flinty hu
Inanit only antlalhelnatize their per
tinacity to gain an honest livelihood.
Built what care these hungry winged
scxtildces. They have a most " tak
iilg" tway, not after the manner of the
p]nli rl-decked, rnfiled and flounced,
ribollln-alorned persons, and ilyra
inidical ornaientail be-switched, (not
hiwe i tchedl) rolled, clrl-clustered heads
of our fishioialle ladies. These ini
sects are not gaudy bliutter-flies. blut
musca rlomesRica, that love butter.
They are great admirers of hot soup,
a beef-stake stew, and especially
-sweetmeats, although int.lts are not
plarticularly sweet froin their pres
ence. They are reckless of existellce
illd c)lliit suicide with the utmost
.n.,,fraid and deliberation. In falict
the fties are lllnlumerolls, anloing, per
tinllaciouns and lln usually troublesome.
That's all.
HIreo is a nIew outh,llrst of thel \West
er'111 sailitatoly lmanlllia: " Witlh ou11r
lilpublication wve want to please every
body, but never halving acquired the
knack of placinig each lpersoi's aidver
tise.nuent at the head of the first col
umn1111, we don't explect to. We don't
mean to be very ' tiouhilig' in our re
miiarks, but if as a reform edulllcator or
any thing of the kind, we displease
any parties, it may le well for them
to conllsider the. fact, before taking siulil
lm.y vengei.ce in their hands, that
our44 weight is always over one 1h.]n
dreid and fifty pIiounds, and that in the
nlinlV leisure mnolmllnts we have had
the pleaslitur of entertalining in our
earlier career, we went heavy into the
1p'rictice of hoisting two hundred
pounid anvils over our head, holding
hat;s of flou0 at armlns' length, and
other feats for muscular development.
Thisi is not told)l as a damiinlpier to allny
of the pugilistic splirits of this coill
mnunity, but to let 1piople, know that
we are inlldependent and fiearless."
.A Kansas district school was re
cevitly visited and iladdrelssed by
:essl s. ig Mouth. Plowder Face, and
Spi oltttel Wolf-all the noblest kilnd of
nIoblhe red limen. A mischievous sclhool
bloy 1lacd a pin tralr th lmre sig
Molith sat down. and the chiitftain
was obseL~4 rved to rise hastily and re
i iirk : " Uh ! too much flea bite. Me
no staiy to hear class in analytical ge
It wvas the olpini.n of ani Illinois
\ý1ill1.lgl'4. t1X, e 4")a 4.' l in ac ('lln1 ositioin
that in o doe.I.. s nlit tart( a good at.
an oriter, but it run:, flutjs
F,'ashMie, Fiu a.n8 Fast.
BY JOSh I:ELLINGS.
Fashion iz a goddess.
She iz ov the mankuine, fenriiine
and nuter gendler.
Men worsh.ip her in her mnaskuline
form---wimmin in her femitnMr e br,
and the excentnicks in her noter gen
tier.
She rules the w(irld ,with a straw,
and .makes all her snppliants.
ihe enslaves the poor az well az the
uitch, she ,kneels tit sanktuarys, pomps
in cabins, and 4eers at the etreet kor
She fits muai's foot with a lpinching
boot. throttles him with a stmo brn
collar, and dies his mustash litlth dark
She trails the rieh silk ..v wimmnin
along the filthy sidewalks, leadI sore
eyed lap dogs with a string, and ban
isihes helpless children to, murky nur
serys, in the care o.v faithless hire
lings.
She cheats the exentrie With thi
clap-tranp of freedomr, and makes himn
serve her :in the hahilitueuts ov the
harlequin.
Yea, veilly.
Fun tis the sonrs vent.
Fun iz whare the kruditiys eskape,
where she kiks up her heels, and runs
snorting arountd the lot, unhaltered,
and az eager as an eskaped konvikt.
Fun iz a safety-valve that lets the
st.'antlpreshure oph from the biler, and
keeps things fie; busting.
Fun iz the dansing particles, which
fli oplh fromt the surface ov unbotfled
eider; it iz the senseless frolik ov the
sphring lam in the clover.; it is the
merry twinkle that kreeps down trw
the korner ov the parsoni's eye, to stand
in the sanlite, and se what's going
on.
Fun iz as karliss as a kolt, az happy
az a bridegroom, az silly as a luv-sik
school-girl.
Fun iz the holy day wisdum ov the
sage, the fools pholly, and everybodys
puppet.
Next tew tie virtew in this world,
the fun in it iz what we kan least
spare.
Truly! 0! truly:!
Fret iz a kanker, a gaogre& e, a
blister, a bile, salteon a sore place, and
a sliver every whrine.
Fret is friekshun, a dull lancet, a
gimblet.
Fret makes a yung man adt"ike an
old one, and an old man ackt like a
yniig uone.
I'ret. is a grind stun, whl.re he wlho
holds hi/ noze on, haz tew do his iwn
lturniinig.
I'rett halz hurnlt more holes thlrl a
imalli's koplpers thia all the other hot
things, it has killed an often as the
doctors hav, aitl it is az lawless and
senselesl s az a goºose.
Fret makes the llhusband a tyrant,
the wifi a plague, the child a lnisainnca ,
an old maid terrible, and i bachelor
diisgiusting.
Fret lmakes home a prizon, and puts
teeth into the gums ov all life's mis
fortunes.
I bet! thou bet! he, she, or it, bets!
. -'- ..
Cour aGHE. - The merchantr and
property holders of New Orleans neeid
courage. Though business is dull and
rents are low, it will not do to give
way to despair. Even though taxes
are high and the government eltrav
agent, there-is yet hope and a chance
for improvement. The crop prospects
are good, immigration and capital smI
coming, political asperities are soft
ening down, and with a determination
to keep up courage :lnd make the best
of events till the crops conle in, all
will be well.
Courage, light is dawning, and the
day of Louisiama's commercial indse
pendence is approaching. There is
already capital and energy here. Let
both e judliciously employed, and by
the practice of public and private
economy, we can bring Louisians and
the Crescent City through all right.
It olught to ble understood that we,
have the advantages of commercial
situation as the centre of a. trade that
pours into and out of the Mississippi
hasin ; of a (climate that permits agri
cnltural operatiouns every month in
the year, and of a soil of unsurpaseed
fertility. Why, then, should we not
have courage ?
'I'lh very boy you have heard about
who idisoibeyed his father and went a
swinlming, lives in Richmond, and
his father said to the wicked boy :
" You've been a-swimming." The
wicked boy : " I hain't." The pa said :
" You have, sir, and you have got
your shirt on t'other side out."
: Pshaw !" said the wicked boy, ";that
shirt got turned wrong side out get
tinl over the fence."
A teacher was illustrating the points
of the compass to two pupils. "Now,
what is before you ? " "The North,
sir," said John, who was a5i intelligent
lad. " Now, Tolmmy," said he to the
other, who had just donned a long
coat, " what is behind you ?" " My
coat tail, sir," said Tommy.
The F'n:sionists might as well, at
once abandolln the hope that Con
gress will do any thing next winter to
advance their cause. McEuery has
:dispersed," and Kellogg is Governst.
Things will remain il pireci.e!- tkij
condition,. (ongress will r f e to
hive alul thin, more to do with the
esubject, and the so",nler tht Fsliionists
,llihr.-tainil tlhis-. the lttei for tbo
S al-e.- ý'hta, J'tis.e,'.