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ST. CHARLES HERALD.
Published Every Saturday, In a Rich Sugar, Molasses and Rice Producing Country. VOLUME XI. HAHNVILLE, LOUISIANA, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 20, 1883. ÎTâ m ' îm 5 - NUM AN IDLE IDYL. Just then upon a goldoji flower A butterfly alighted, And waved Its wings about as though Exceedingly delighted. And sott should have been. The day Waft very warm and sunny, And all the Insects whirred and whizzed, They found such lota of honey. She slyly caught it in her hand, And while it gently h tiding He languidly approuciicd and gavo Her an aesthetic scolding. "How can you so? Fie! let it go. The gem of flying thtngletsi. A lesson bearing everywhere Of Beauty on Its wingleta." "Oh, certainly. I'll aet it free, Tf it will give you pleasure To see it fly," she said, and soon Off flew the airy treasure. A few moments after. He sat hr ninth the hor.-.y sucMe vine. She regarded him from the steps of the poiVh. "üehold ! how amber grows the grasa," He murmured. "Soon the reaper Will come," when on his ear there fell A many-legged creeper. Upon his feet he quickly sprang. And to the ground he dashed it. "A horrid caterpillar! Oh!" Ho shudd'ring cried, and smashed It. Ah me! ah woe! How could you so?'* She sighed. "The wretched oiiuiol!" It was of some bright butterfly A daughterlet or sonlet. " —Margaret Egtinge , In Harper s Magazin». ' ANNEXED BY THE TSAR. He was a huge dog, and lie stood by he kennel, in old Dr. Gorham's back ard, in an attitude of deep meditation, -'here was one subject for dog-thought lying right before him, and another lay 1 nly a yard or so beyond the first. The one was an empty "muzzle" that ay upon the grass, close by a couple of veil-picked bones. The se /ond was an tpially empty steel collar, with a trong chain attached. The end of the ihain was hooked into a staple at the lide of the kennel door. Tsar was a dog to look twice at. His 'ather had been a Siberian bloodhound inti his mother an English mastiff, and Dr. Gorham would have trusted him to pull down a wild bull or to ring a îhnrch bell, if he could once have seized with his massive ijaws the nose of the. pne or the ringing-rope of the other. Tsar made no audible remarks, but [ here was no difficulty at all in divining iis meditations. "They have fed me an hour before undown, for some reason, and now hey'vo gone off and neglected me. No mzzle, no chain, no master around, nd all the country left open to me. It a state of affairs to which I am not ustomed at this time of day. If there ere another bone with meat on it, I'd ow exactly what to do." He put out a great paw and turned muzzle over. Then he walked for ai and smelled of the helpless collar. ;n he peered solemnly into the ken 11 There was a mystery about the 'Ne matter, and it seemed to suggest •Ht to the front gate. That, too, was w.open, as a witness to the haste re Mfl by the summons of the last pa ri* and Tsar could therefore walk °'kl look up and down the shady UAr an explanation of his own case. RJd not see any, at first, for there ■^Ailing to be learned from a flock °M, three hens and one stray calf. ' i h y pig that was rooting under the wah. ee p a j ( i him no manner of at tend "drugged his broad shoulders to roa Ai about the collar, pawed his nost - moment in memory of his d turned for a look at the ire it was, with a very dingy on one post, whose faded . _ 'Dr. Heber Gorham," and with j-new tin sign on the other Post-fee bright, fresh gilding an >. Heber Gorham, Jr.," as atients. :ht, and it occurred to wWbl be good for his the suggestion f hTout With dignity, as _ his sizdy Und no voice ,ousp recalled him, as he marchjvaÿ down the road toward the sea, sniff of salt air would be just th^g for his digestion, after the hearty hr he had eaten at the ken nel. The sfref fretting vor y ] ow toward the hori and yet, away down there on the rat the head of the cove a curly-hel young lady of nineteen, or tberetts, was still seated, bend ing overwrtfolio spread across her Jap. Frtime to time she cast anx ious glan from the lines she traced upon theiet of Bristol board under her handshe more and more shadowy island, otthere in the mouth of the cove. "That i do," she said. "It looks bigger thahe boat, now, but it isn't big enougpr the tree. I must make the tree stier; the cow's back, too— it's half almg as the island. There is always faething dreadful the matter With my tyes." She worked at the waves for. few minutes. "If I had time, I'd tto put in the sunset. Dear me, how li it is! It will be almost dark when get home. It gets dark so quicKlt nowadays, after it once fc;gius." I She ros« little hastily, but she gave the island very long, last look, as she Closed herportfolio—long enough for a bystand« to have read her name, in gilt letterspn the leather cover—"Per cie Lee." tut no one was there to read, for a lonelie spot than that it would have been bjd to find, however well adapted it night be for the making of marine sketchy. , Percie was inthe road in half a min ute more, and sje could but see that the shadows were lengthening rapidly. She reflected: "It is lonely for a little way beyond Dr. Gorlam's, but I won't mind it from that to the village. I do hope I shall not me«t Heber Gorham. I will not speak to him if I do. I won't /even ace him. He has not called since in I It a a he came back from Europe, and I hop« he never will again. I detest him." She said it with needless energy, and then she began to walk briskly onward. She tried hard, too,- to persuade herself that she was only wondering whether, in her sketch, she had made the horns of the cow bear a proper proportion to the upper branches of the tree on the island. She was really almost thinking sincerely about the_ cow, and the cow alone, when she suddenly felt called upon to exclaim: "Oh, that dog!" To be sure, that dog. Tsar was on the other sido of the road, and he did not seem to be taking any part'cular notice of her, but thus Percie truly remarked of him: "He is perfectly enormous!" She forgot about the cow in an in stant, but she did not speak her opinion directly to the dog. Neither did she think of sketching hifn, although he was certainly worth it. She seemed hardly to care to look at him. Tsar, on his part, had taken a good look at Pereie Lee. He was not mis taken about her for one moment. "Very nice girl. Well dressed. Pret ty, too; but she's out late. Most likely lier family are friends of Dr. Gorham. I must have an eye on that young lady. It is getting dark." That eye was what startled Percie so dreadfully a moment later; for she hap pened to look behind her, and there was that vast creature solemnly stalking af ter. "He is following me!" she exclaimed. Not a doubt of it, and the fact that he stopped or went on just when she did hardly s.eemed to help the matter. It was getting darker and more shad owy every moment, and Percie would have been almost willing to run, if she had not feared that if she did the dog would run, too. He appeared larger and larger every time she glanced be hind her, until she was afraid to look again, and her breathing grew a little hurried. "Nobody's any business to have such a dog!" she gasped, in .a whisper. "It's awful." "She seems to be scared about some thing, '''•thought Tsar. "Girls are apt to be timid. Ah, I see! It's those rag ged rascals coming down the road. Vil lainous-looking vagabonds. If there is anything in this world that I hate, it is a tramp." That is a universal sentiment among dogs of Tsar's social standing; but the three ruflians who were now approach ing were either ignorant of that fact or did not know that such a dog was so very near. "Dreadful men!" had been the un spoken thought in the mind of Percie Lee, and it was followed by a doubt as to whether she should ever again dare to come down to the cove. "I must sketch the island," she said, "but I will come in the forenoon." The three men were walking abreast now, and they were plainly determined not to turn to the right hand or the left for Percie Lee. She had just time to grasp that terrible idea and to feel.her heart jump, when one of them actually spoke to her. She never knew what he said, and her only reply, as she retreated a few steps was an altogether unintended little scream. It was not a loud one, and there was more surprise in it than fear, but it was followed by remarkable consequences. Tsar had quickened his lordly pace, full twenty seconds earlier, ana, for some- reason of his own, he had ad vanced a little under the shadow of the fence: but his eyes had not wandered from the human beings in the road be fore him. His head and tail were raised a trifle, and there was a very peculiar expression on his broad, hairy face. There was no love of tramps in it at all. "Oh now, we hain't hurt you. You needn't squall." That was what the second of those three ruflians began to say, when an awful, wrathful, roaring growl, as of warning, sounded from some deep jawed cavern among the shadows at the right of Percie Lee. It was followed, in one long, elastic, power-expressing bound, by a huge dark form that in one second more was crouching in front of her. The first and second tramp upset the third, and tumbled over him, so sudden was the retreat they made, while Tsar, for their special benefit and more at length, repeated his growl, with a sup plementary snarl that sounded fearfully like the announcement of another spring forward. The remarks made by all of those vagabonds, as they scrambled to their feet, were in a manner complimentary to Tsar, although not intended to be so. Percie Lee stood behind her protector? and she could not see, as they did, the white rows of gleaming teeth and the fierce green light in the threatening eyes. .She could perfectly understand, however, that there was an enormous amount of very good dog between her and any further approach of ruffianly insolence. She was almost astonished at the sudden feeling of security which came upon her and at the entire ease with which she began to btisathe again. Tsar did not spring. He did but crouch in that picturesque attitude until the nearest tramp was fifty yards away, on a steady run; and then he stood erect, sending after his enemies one deep, sonorous "Woof-oof," to keep them company. "Good dog! good fellow!" "Ur-r-r-r, was the gentle response of Tsar, and he even wagged his tail, moderately, but he did not condescend to look around. He walked slowly on up the road, and it was now Percie s turn to follow him. of but my he to of lie of a I on I I 1 I T do not think I had better leave her," said Tsar to himself; "not even when we get to our house." It was not until they reached the turn of the road, away beyond Dr. Gor ham's, that he at last stood still. Percie wished very much to pat him, but she could hardly muster courage, and while she was hesitating there came a sound of wheels, and a light buggy pulled up in the middle of the road. "Dr. Gorham!" "Percie Lee! Is that, you? I declare! Miss Lee—and that great brute—it's all my fault. Did he scare you much, Percie—Miss Lee?" "Is it your dog, Heber —doctor?" "Tsar! Come here, sir!" "Oh doctor, don't scold him. He has been taking core of me. There wero three of them." "Dogs, Miss Lee?" "No, sir; tramps. Dreadful-looking they snoke—he is a splendid dog,— beautiful." "He? Ah,—well—it's a good thing he did n't take hold of one of them. There'd have beed a tine surgical case prepared for me, in no time. But how did he happen to be out? Unmuzzled, too. I remember, now. All my fault." "I guess he must have been left out to take care of me, doctor." "Ain't I glad of it, though! Now. Miss Lee, you must step right into my buggy, and let me carry you home. Tsar, go home, sir!" He turned to obey, but a small, white hand was on his head as he did so. •'Good dog, Tsar: thank you, sir." It was odd, indeed, but something in that remark seemed aimed at the dog; and it must have hit him, too, by the proud way of his walking off; but some of it went further. The young physi cian assisted Percie into the buggy, and drove away; and it was quite a distance around the corner of the main road that they passed a dimly discernible and quite breathless group that leaned against a fence. Nobody going by in a buggy could have heard them mutier: "Tell ye what, boys, that was the awfullest dog I ever seen." "Guess we won't try that there road again to-night. He's loose. "All them sort o' dogs has got to be killed off, or the roads won't be safe." Perhaps, but at that moment Tsar was reentering his own yard, for he went straight back to h's quarters. He stood for a moment turning over his empty muzzle with his paw, and then lay heavily down. He thought he un derstood the entire matter, now. 'Heber Gorham knew that that young lady would be in need of me. It's all right, but I doubt if I did my whole duty. Unmuzzled, too. A lost opportunity!" As to the tramps, yes, but not as to all other parts of his performance. He hardly knew how it afterwards came to pass, but before long he discovered that lie had formed a habit of going down to the cove with Percie Lee, to see her take sketches of islands, trees, waves, cows, and other matters and things, and of remaining till Heber Gorham, Jr. M.'D., came to take his plaeu, with or without a buggy. He failed fully to understand the business until another sort of day arrived, when he found him self called upon, first, to attend a wed ding, by special invitation of Percie Lee; and then then to recognize her as a permanent addition to his own house hold at the old Gorham homestead. He agreed to it. He had liked that young woman from the first time he saw her. And so, to tell the truth, had his mas ter.— William O. Stoddard, in Atlantia Monthly. Good Advice Promptly Taken. "Young man'" said a President of one of the Western roads to a candi date for employment. "Young man, I can do nothing for you beyond giving you a little advice. Do as I did, and make yourself a self-made man!" "But how did you do it?" inquired the job-hunter. "I started out in life as a switchman on this very road. I was poor but am bitious. In order to get mv first start I married a girl, got her life insured, started her off on her wedding tour alone, derailed the train, collected tho insurance, mulcted the company in $10,000, and bought a passenger brake man's place." "That was ingenious," commented the applicant. "Then I married another woman, in sured her life and one night when the train stopped to cool a hot box, 1 didn't flag the freight coming along, behind. I collected the insurance on her, got another ten thousand, and purchased a conductor's sit. From that the rise was easy, and now I own the road. Do as 1 did. Kely on yourself, and ask no man for assistance." "Much obliged," replied the youth carelessly. "I'll profit by your advice I know where 1 can get a job on a newspaper, and I don't know how I can make a better start than by -pub lishing your experience. Good morn ing!" But the self-made man called him back, and now the youth is treasurer of the whole concern.— Drake's Maga zine. —Bricks impregnated at a high.tem perature with asphalt are being suc cessfully used in Berlin for street pave ment. By driving out the air and water with heat, bricks will take up from fifteen to twenty per cent, of bitu men, and the porous, brittle material becomes durable and elastic under pres sure. The bricks are then put end ways on a beton bed and set with hot tar. It is said that the rough usage which the pavement made of these bricks will stand is astonishing. Strange How It Got Out "Oh! by the way," exclaimed Mrs. Limbertung, suddenly changing the conversation, "you know that Flossing girl? Well, her brother, he that was sent to State prison four or five years 1 saw them togeéhcr just lope that nobody 'll know that lie's been in prison, for his sister's ago, is olit, now. I do hope that nob. a real good girl, and she's dreadfully anxious that Tom'll do well; and, of course, if it gets out, you know, that he's just out of prison, it 'll be almost impossible for him to get anything to do. But, mercy! look at that olook! I declare I didn't know I'd been here so long. Good-by, Mrs. Smith; now do call, won't you?" Mrs. Limbertung is next found at Mrs. Brown's. "Oh! that reminds mo!" she savs, in terrupting Mrs. Brown. "You Imow that Flossing fellow who got into trou ble and was sent to State prisonP Yes? Well, lie's out. He looks ns though he wanted to do right now, and I hope for his sister's sake, if not for his own, that nobody will mention anything about his past life. It ought to" bo kept se cret. Both of 'em have suffered enough, the land knows." Mrs. Brown promises not to say any thing about it and Mrs. Limbertung goes out. On the street, a block or two away, she meets Mrs. Jones. "Why, how do you do, Mrs. Jones? What a stranger you are! I have got some news for you. Fanny F'lossiug's brother's got home—what! you neviar heard of the Flossings? That's funny, i thought everybody knew them. Well, you see, Fanny's brother Tom stole a lot of money, four or five years ago — yes, and he got taken up and hail to go to prison—strange tiiat you never heard of it!—and Fanny's worried herself al most to death about him—Fanny is that pale-looking girl in a chip hat you saw me talking with this morning—and she says if she can only keep it from get ting out—it would be awful, you know, if folks should find out that" there's a State-prison bird in tho village—she hopes Tom 'll get something to do. I pity her awfully-, and I wouldn't lisp it to a soul, would youP But there's Mrs. Robinson over there. She's a new comer, you know. 1 must speak to her a minute. Good-by." "How do you do, Mrs. Robinson. How do you like Tawkville? You're a stranger now; but when you get ac quainted, you'll find folks roil socia ble. That was Mrs. Jones you . aw mo talking with just now. I was telling her about Tom Flossing, a fellow who has just been discharged from State prison—a real likely young man. He stole some money, you know, but that A was a long time ago, and before he came here. So nobody anÿthing about it. I know all about it, 'cause 1 lived in Chinehin, where the Flossings came from, at the time when he stole. But there's no reason why anybody in Tawkville should know anything about it. Because a young man has gone astray once, that's no reason why it should be flung in his face forever afterward; and you know what folks are. Mrs. Robinson; they'll never stop talking about it if its once gets out." Mrs. Limbertung, in the course of the afternoon, meets or visits perhaps score of her acquaintances, and to every one she relates the story of th Flossings, and repeats the hope that it won't get out. The story and the hope are carried into tho grocer's and the butcher's, and the hope and the story are left with tho baker and the dry goods dealer, and when Mrs. Limber tung lies down to sleep that night, her last thoughts are upon the F'lossings, and her last hope ere slumber over powers her is that "it won't getont." A day or two later she meets Miss Flossing. "Why, what's tho matter, F'anny?" she exclaims. "How pale you look! And, I declare! if you haven't been cry ing!" . "I can't help it!" says F'anny, break ing out anew. "Poor Tom!" "Why, what's happened?" "Nothing, only I've tried and tried, and Tom's tried, too; but it's no use. Nobody will hire him. Homebody has been around and told everybody about him. and it's no use, it's no use!" And Fanny's tears fall thick and fast. "It's positively shameful!" exclaims Mrs. Limbertung, mingling her tears with I'anny's; "that's what I call it, positively shameful! I wonder who could have the heart to do such a thing! I was in hopes that nobody would hear anything about it; and I did hope that Tom-would do well—and I know he wiilTif lie's given half a chance. You know 1 always thought a good deal of you, Fanny, and when Tom st-took the money, I nearly cried my eyes out, But cheer up, F'anny; perhaps he'll get a place yet. You know you can depend upon me, and if I can say a good word for him to anybody, you know I'll do it. There, dear, don't cry any more." And Mrs. Limbertung kisses F'anny, and again telL her to cheer up, liefore saying good-by. idrs. Limbertung goes down the street wondering who could have told it, at he same time hoping—and sin cerely hoping-that poor Tom will get a place, and F'anny and he will live "real happy" together. But for the life of her, she can't think "how it got out ."—Boston Transcript. —The Piute Indians on the Pyramid Lake Reservation in Nevada have dug f ve miles of ditch for irrigating pur Q s this year, and will raise 1,000 tels 'of wheat this summer. A number of the children are attending tho boarding fo'.iool which was begun last fall by direction of the Govern ment.— Chtcaqo Inter-Ocean A Thrilling but Somewhat Tough Suak« Story. 'The water moccasin is dead," said Lucien Alexander, the well-known drug gist and snake-fancier. "It died yes terday, and I wouln't have taken tho whole Tenth Word with the school trus teeship thrown in for it." "What killed it?" asked tho reporter, to whom Lucien was pouring out his grief. "He was scalded to death. I had tho moccasin ond a water dog in tho same jar together, but somehow or other they couldn't get along with each other. They were continually fighting over the food I gave them, and yesterday they concluded to settle tlicir (iitVercm os for ever. They sparred around hi the wa ter for a while, neither one seeming to have the advantage, but finally tho wa ter-dog executed a flank movement on the moccasin and swallowed about three inches of his tail and body. In stead of the moccasin trying tofreo him self he laid perfectly quiet and com menced pumping himself full of wind like a bellows. As he swelled up the water-dog backed off, but It was too late. It was like pulling a boot oft n swollen foot. Tho moccasin kept on pumping, and tho water-dog continued to expand. As he spread out you could hear his ribs crack, and I expected every moment to see him fly into a thousand pieces, but suddenly the swellingceased, for the moccasin had gone the full length of his expansive powers, and he com menced to contract. Reduced to his ordinary size, the water-dog lost no time in slipping off, but he was so weak from the terriblo strain he had reoeived that for a moment or two he was poworloxs. Tho moccasin took advanlage of this, and, turning on I he dog, swallowed idra whole. Then followed one of the most remarkable occurrences ever witnessed. The dog. evidently scared almost to death, began galloping back and forth the full length of the moccasin. By tho waving ridges on tho snake every move-' ment of the dog could bo told* Back and forth he went until tho friction in side of the snake must have been terri bly. for the water began to get warm from the heat of tho moccasin's body. Every time the dog would gallop toward (he head of tho snake; the snake would close its mouth, causing the dog lo turn and run away. This performance was kept up for nearly an hour, during which time the water grow boiling hot, and the whole skin peeled off the snake. Then tho flesh got soft, and the first thing I knew he went all to pieces like a chunk of soft soap in a wash-basin. Tho dog soon shook off' the remnants of the snake which adhered to him, but he, like the mocoasiu, was scalded to (loath also. You see that grease on the tap of that jar of water? Well, that's all that's left of my moccasin and watür-dog." —Louisville Commercial. It be it as to be of to Tabor's Great Poker Game. "But I was goin' to toll you about Tabor. If you know him you'd know he was the best poker player In the West. We used to play ten cent unto before he struck Little Pittsburgh, hut now there ain't none of 'em who can make tho limit high enough, to make him lay down If he draws, no matter whether he (ills or not. Bct'm hlghP Just let me tell you what I saw him do in Leadville about two years ago, Home gamblers put up a job to skin him one lay, and they asked him to play three handed. He was right there, for ho ain't afraid of no man behind a deck, sold or straight. "One of 'em dealed, and It was the Guv'nor's edge. They both kem in, an' when it kem 'round to Tabor lie raised it. Then each of 'em raised it back an' lie gave 'em as good as they sent. There was no limit, an' tho pot swelled very fust. .They drawed and tho Guv' nor look two an' one stood pat; an' then tho beltin' only just began. They were heeled putty well, and they socked to tho old man, but he raised 'em back while his money lasted. Ha bad #Bö,000 up then, an' one of 'em raised him #10,000 more. Ho felt in all his pockets, an' then says he, 'gentle men, I didn't take muon change with mu when I kem out tills morning. You'll have to let me draw again my bank account.' " 'What bank do you want to draw on?" sez one of the men. 'The First National of Denver,' sez the Guv'nor. One of 'em slipped out and telegraphed to the bauk, 'How big is Tabor's ac count?" The answer kem right back: 'Tabor's got a hundred thousand here.' 'Guv'nor, sez the gambler, you can draw.' "Well, what d'ye 'spose he done? Jest drawed for the hull #100,000 an' slapped it down under their nose! '.See that if you want to see my hand,' sez he. That stumped 'em. They had $05,000 apiece up, but they couldn't size up to the other $100,000. "They never said a word, but just throwea their hands down and walked out. As the Guv'nor reached out an' raked in the pot, he kinder looked over his left shoulder an' sez, with a wink to me: 'Prescott, I was up to their game; I'll larn 'em to fool round with an old miner. ' "What were the hands all roundP' "Oh, yes; I came near forgettin'. Tabor bail three sixes, one of the gam blers had three nines, and the fellow who stood pat had four kings and an ace. But that check was too many for 'em, you see." When the train eventually reached Cheyenne the old miner was switching off to visit his big bonanza in the San Juan. He turned up on Arapahoe street, last Thursday morning wearing the same celluloid collar, the same threadbare garments, and the same far I away look in his small blue eyes.— 1 Denver Hews, a c oT^ rarest in SCIENCE AND -A fie'd of 180 being successfully __ Waverly, Lowndes County, -A sponge measuring e'ght circumference has been taken West, and is said to be the largest the world. —Large quantities of land are being •ased in Lima, Livingston County, N. Y., for the purpose of boring for salt. It is believed that Lima Is over a rich salt bed.— AT. Y. nines. -Parts has an omnibus propelled by •loetrieity, and its operation is said to be a complete success. The motive lower Is furnished bv F'aure acoumu- ators weighing it,800 Kilogrammes and giving out a force of seventy-two horse power. -Cotton manufactured into duck is being successfully introduced as !» roof ing material. Aside from its eheapnesa it possesses the advantage of lightness as compared with shingles or slate; it effectually excludes water, and It is said to be a non-conductor of heat.—-V. Y. Sun. Some idea of the magnitude of the agricultural implement industry may be gathered from the statement that the lumber annually consumed In Chi- cago alone amounts to upwards of 20, OUU.IXK) feet. Of this total, about 7,000,- 000 feet are plno. Oak, hlukory, maple, dm, whitewood, basswood ami Norway pine are also used to a considerable extent.— Chicago Herald. -Suppose wo wish to know the largest square that can be out front a circular sheet of given size. To ascer- tain without measuring, multiply the diameter by .7071, and we have the size of the square that will be contained in the circle. This is a useful rule for all trades. Ma hinists very often have oc- casion to use It, so do boiler-makers and lumbermen.— Scientißc Amir.'can. -The production of sugar eane is in- creasing in Mexico. Tho climate and soil are reported as well adapted to It. It is stated that there is nothing in tho form of sugar eane in Louisiana which can compare with the luxuriant growth to lie found in Mexico. Many of the largest sugar district« in MexRsr have abundant water, which can be utilized for ma hinc power as well as for Irriga- tion. As for facilities for transporta- tion, Mexican sugars are put up In small packages of oonlual shape, which are easily trans ported by pack animals to any Journal. distance required.— Chicago êw stylfe ot stocking jaoalled vottld rrafe 'been PITH AND POINT. A crocodile shuts its jaws with a force of 1,840 pounds, If you don't be lieve it, got In and weigh It when it comes dkfeyn .—Burlington Hawke ye. -A*'. | fltK „ Voltaire. Sookfates would a better name. Wo never did admire a stocking with a tare at the end of it.— Chicago Inter-Ocean. An exchange correspondent asks: "Is there anything that can be burned to keep away mosquitoesP" Oh, yes. Burn the mosquitoes. That will keep them away .—Norristown Herald. The Concord School of Philosophy has not yet determined how a woman should act when her hands are in the dough-pan and an aggressive fly lights on her nose,— Philadelphia Bulletin. - Yes, there is niusio in a bagpipe, there Is no doubt about that, But the music gets such a terrible squeezing in coming through the narrow tubes, Its agonized screams are the only sounds which reach the ear. —"I'm glad Billy had the sense to marry a settled old maid," said Grand ma Winkum at the wedding. "Gal* Is lilty-tity, and Widders is kinder over rulin' and upsettiu'. Old maids is kinder thankful and willlu' to please." -Christianat Work. —Two women were recently seen pricing gingham In a shot». One re- marked to the other on the label to tbo goods: "Fee the American eagle and tho motto 'FI plurlbus unuiu;' that'* tho F'rench for Tn time of ]ieace prepare for war.' "—Boston Advertiser. -This 1* the way a moan editor tries to crush a man who thinks hu possesses the "divine afflatus:" "An esteemed citizen, who is sending about fifteen pages of original poetry every day, is respectfully informed that if he doesn't let up, one of his pieces, with his full name attached, will be published. This warning 1* given ln th« « fata famdy and frleud*." c ial Advertiser, —"What do I there for?" asked the vl* House, looking at t hangs from chamber. "It's i replied the Boston 1 has a sort, of CT"' the legislators.' the visitor, "if I of your laws a ré < ton man fell into a t came to, he gull a cou script. -ANa ByJove! t There's I When 1 cam. And then» Where are 1 there 'Tie, linn To that ( The a* I bad 8 Aha! The fttfl It Iftl A shoe I