The St. Charles herald. [volume], March 16, 1918, Image 2

About The St. Charles herald. [volume] (Hahnville, La.) 1873-1993

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OTTO H. KAHN, AMERICAN
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Otto H. Kahn, head of the New
York banking house of Kuhn, Loeb &
Co., has* been making a few campaign
speeches in the West on behalf of the
United States.
Among other things, he advocated
the immediate creation of a war
finance board ; he issued a warning to
the "militant bolshevik!" of the coun
try to the effect that the American
temper would not stand trifling; and,
declaring that Germany had deliber
ately planned the war, made an ap
peal to Americans of German birth
to not merely do their duty for the
United States, but to let their loyalty
take active form.
Mr. Kahn himself Is of German
birth. lie was a British subject
through naturalization, and last
March, after having lived in New
York 24 years, became an American
citizen.
lie was born in Mannheim, Ger
many, in 1$67, and served for a year in the army as a hussar. On his dis
charge he made a special study of finunce and banking and spent several
years in the banking establishment of his father, Bernard Kahn. He then
went to London, where he was for five years connected with the London
branch of the Deutsche bank, and where life was so pleasant that lie re
nounced his native land and became a subject of the British crown. Even
until recent years his British connections were close, and only five years ago
he was selected as the conservative candidate for parliament for the Gorton
division of Lancashire. He declined the honor because, he said, he had no
time to devote to politics.
SOPHIA, TROUBLE MAKER
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If one were to ask a European to
name the one woman who has done the
greatest injury to the cause of the al
lies, he would name, nine times out of
ten, ex-Queen Sophia of Greece; and
he would udd that there is no other
woman in n position to continue ener
getically the work of impairing the
allied cause. Despite the expulsion of
the Prussian princess from Greece,
with her husband, King Constantine,
and all her children, except Alexander,
now king of the Hellenes, she is not by
any means regarded as at the end of
her career.
As a trouble maker Sophia's name
has become a household word, has In
deed passed into a proverb, in most
countries in Europe.
In France the queen's name is
used for Invidious comparisons, und
even in Greece it is used slurrlngly.
With almost demoniacal fury this
daughter of the Hohenzollerns has
struggled in behalf of the kaiser's cause since the war began. And there is
po reason to doubt that she will continue to employ her amazing energies for
|he same cause.
The evil which Queen Sophia did to the cause of the allies was incalcul
ably great. For nearly three years she upset all their plans. She forced her
Imsband to violate the Greek constitution, she overrode the will of the people
aa expressed by their suffrages and she drove Greece's greatest statesman,
Eleutherlos Yenizelos, into exile.
OSCAR HAMMERSTEIN'S WIT
When Oscar Hammerstein, the
veteran opera impresario, fell ill re
cently there was dismay among Ills
countless friends ; and when it was
announced that he was recovering
from an operation the rejoicing was
general.
Although best known to the pub
lic as a manager and builder of places
of amusement, to those who know him
personally his wit, humor, ready
repartee, and sometimes biting sar
casm, stand out above all else in his
character.
He had occasion nt one time to
discharge a man In Montreal who had
been drawing a large salary for col
lecting royalties for him on his cigar
machines. This employee w rote him a
Very caustic letter and wound up with,
"In my opinion you are a buffoon."
Oscar sent him this reply by special
delivery: "My Dear August: Come
now, you don't mean buffoon, you
mean buffet. You've been eating off me for five year
August was stumped,
Once he was coming downtown in a crowded Broadway oar. The con
dnetor stopped and looked down at him and said: "Did I get your fare?''
Like u shot came back the answer: "I guess you did, I didn't *<■<• you ring it
op for the company."
OUR NATIONAL DETECTIVE
"His training and experience have
admirably fitted him to undertake the
important work of chief," said Secre
tary of the Treasury McAdoo in an
nouncing the appointment of W. H.
Moran as head of the secret service of
the United States.
Practically all Mr. Moran's life has
been given to the study and active
work demanded by a service that is un
like any other nnd that has developed
into a complicated and responsible >rm
of the government. He entered the
service December 1, 1882, as a mes
senger, although he was carried on the
office records under that heading mere
ly as a matter of routine for long after
he hnd demonstrated that he was of
other material than that required for
messengers.
helplug to run down criminals nnd ex
posing their methods. The matter of
title has never bothered Moran. As a matter of fact he has been virtually the
head of the service in Washington for the last ten years.
You might pass Mr. Moran in the street without getting any other impres
sion than thnt he was a wiry little Irishman attending strictly to business. If
he was very intent on business h® might be smoking a corncob pipe. He 1 1
Hot at all spectacular Is his methods except in the way of getting results.
His next title was that of assistant
operative, which meant thnt he was
Brains vs.
Embonpoint
By JANE OSBORN
(Copyright, 1918, by the McClure Newspa
per Syndicate.)
When Ned Majors, promising young
er brother of Stone Majors, head of the
dress manufacturing house of Majers
& Clay, was put in charge of the
"Stout Model'* department of that large
concern, he announced his intention of
having a woman for his "right-hand
man." Stone Majers and the other
executives of the concern had always
held out against women in responsible
positions. Even their stenographers
were young men. Girls were well and
good at the telephone or to run er
rands, or something of that sort, Stone
Majers told his brother, but when you
come to having them In your office
with you, you first get to noticing what
sort of dresses they wear, then you
start in making pretty speeches, and
the next thing you know your mind is
more on the girl than your business.
'When I get ready to marry," he
continued, "I'm going to get some nice
young girl, fresh from boarding school.
I I don't want some one thnt knows the
! dress-manufacturing business better
! than I do, and thnt will serve us shop
talk at breakfast and dinner."
"That's Just where I'm perfectly
safe," Net retorted. "I couldn't possi
bly fall in love with the sort of girl
Fm going to get. What I wnnt a wom
an for is because in my end of the
work the right sort of woman can
fairly sell the models off her back. I'm
going to have a 'stout that's why she
will help sell the type of dresses thnt
I am going In for, and, moreover, thnt
is why there isn't any remote chance
of my falling in love with her. I could
like a stout girl a lot and get along
I with her beautifully, but I'm no Turk.
I I don't want a fnt wife. I simply could
not think of it."
I "Well, how are you going to get this
'right-hand man' of yours?"
I "Advertise, of course. 'Wanted—A
; stout woman with brains nnd a knowl
! edge of the woman's dress business.'
Thnt ought to get her."
So the advertisement was Inserted in
! the morning papers, and for an hour
i cr two the door thnt led to Ned Major's
,
office was blocked with heavyweight
Applicants, who considered themselves
qualified for the position. Apparently
they all did qualify as to embonpoint.
Ned's problem was simplified into tell
ing which of the fifty-seven applicants
I had the most brains. So important
I did he consider this qualification, in
fact, thnt when nilda Clark tipped the
scales only at 160 pounds—hardly one
Qf fhe others but hnd done better—
I Ned waived this slight discrepancy be
I cause of her very obvious advantages
j in the other considerations. He had
hnd a set of scales brought into his
i office from the factory, so that he
might not trust to mere guesswork re
' garding the weight of his applicants.
"You look fat enough, anyway," he
said good-naturedly to her, as he
helped her step down from the weigh
ing platform. "Eat plenty of butter
and potatoes and things. I guess yon
are just the 'man' I'm looking for."
And ns he showed her to the exit hall
he made his way to his brother's office.
"Well, I've got her," he said. "And
she's fat and all intellect. We're both
safe. I never could get sentimental
over such a heavyweight, and you
; couldn't stand the intellect. She's the
kind of girl that looks as if she knows
I just what a buyer was going to order
ns soon as he came into the place, and
it is ali in her eyes—the brains, I
; mean."
I So Hilda Clark was installed, and
before long Stone Majers had forgot
i ten that he ever opposed his broth
er in taking on a woman assistant.
: With an amazing capacity for hard
; work and a keen interest in all the
I phases of her wofk that brought her
j active mind into contact with other
minds as shrewd as her own, or nearly
so, she soon had charge of the selling
end of the business for both broth
ers. Her personal magnetism, rather
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than actual beauty, made every frock
she tried on take on new interest and
distinction, and tills, as Ned had fore
seen, had considerable effect on the
size of buyers' orders. No mere man,
even with the same ability as Hilda
C'lnrlc, could ever have pushed the sell
ing of tlie Majers & Clay "stout mod
els" as she did. go the work piled up,
and evenings, when she was not stay
ing after hours straightening out a
tangle of orders with Ned, she was
conferring with Stone. It wns hard
work, but pleasant. It agreed with
her, but—
"What's the matter with the last
model?" was the blunt and peevishly
put query of one of the large buyers
one day some six months after nilda
had come to be Ned's "right-hand
man." "They are the dowdiest things
I ever saw. Say, honestly, just be
cause a fnt woman's fat she doesn't
want to dress like her great-grand
mother."
That was the first of the complaints.
Others followed. The designer was
blamed first, but she was apparently
putting out as good Ideas as ever.
The workmanship was the same, and
the same quality of material was go
j ng j n t 0 the dresses.
One day Ned came into his brother's
office with a pale but relieved face.
T know what's the matter; Hilda's
lost twenty pounds. She's been doing
It gradually. I knew something was
wrong,-for the models looked so dowdy
on her. I knew she mu 3 t be getting
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thin. You know, I never could fall in
love with a fat girl. And. anyway, I
got her on the scales today, -'h"
wouldn't get on, |o 1 lifted her on. I
couldn't have lifted her when she first
came. And 1 found out what was the
matter."
Does that help matters any?"
snapped Stone.
"Well, not so much, only that we
know what the matter is. And, be
sides—"
"But we ought to have n woman
here that can show the dresses. She
is ruining the business now. The buy
ers say something is the matter with
the models. Couldn't she take anti
thin, or something, or drink milk?"
"She says it doesn't do any good. I
knew you'd say that, so I suggested it
to her." Ned laughed at the humor of
the situation, that was not apparent
to his brother. "And. besides, there
was something I wanted to tell you—"
"Well, I hnte to say it, but Hilda Is
not doing any good if she can't get fat
ugain. She's clever, but that isn't
enough. And yet I hate to let her go.
Can you think of anything else we
might get her to do? Is there some
thing in your department you might
get her to do so we wouldn't have to
cut down her salary?"
Suddenly the two men sat up very
straight and begun to talk about two
entirely different orders animatedly, in
an effort to persuade Hilda Clark, who
had Just entered, that they had not
been talking about her.
"Has Ned told you?" she smiled,
putting a sisterly hand on Stone's
arm.
"Yes, Hilda, and I'm sorry ; but may
be we can do something about it."
"Sorry? Because I'm going to be
your sister-in-law, or because I've lost
twenty pounds?"
"My sister-in-law! Why didn't some
one tell me?" cried Stone.
"I did try to tell you," laughed his
brother.
"And I have something to tell you
both," announced Hilda. "You know
that first day I came here. I saw Ned,
and after I left his office he showed
me to the hall and—well, I got mixed
up and went the wrong way. Ned
must have come in here to talk to you,
for I heard quite distinctly what he
said. He said : 'We're both safe. I
never could get sentimentul over such
nn heavyweight, and you couldn't
6 tand the intellect.' So I knew right
away thnt if I wanted either of you
men to fall in love with me I'd either
have to diet or become brainless. At
first I ate all the potatoes and sugar
I could. I knew this hard work would
naturally pull me down, and then—
well, Ned and I seemed to hit it off
from the first. Besides, it was easier
losing pounds than brains, and I'd
rather part with them. I may need
my brains later on. So then I began
to diet. That's why I wouldn't have
lunch with you—becnuse I didn't wnnt
you to see what I was about—no sugar,
no potatoes, no bread. I told my best
friends I was Hooverizlng. And so I
lost twenty pounds. I knew it was the
ruination of my business career."
"Do you mean you honestly did
that?" demanded Stone. "Would any
woman really do that much for Ned?"
Hilda shook her head strongly in the
affirmative.
"Well, suppose after you hnd got
thin he hadn't happened to like you—
you'd have lost out both ways?"
Ned hnd endured his brother's ban
tering long enough. He stood behind
Hilda and put his arm around her now
shapely waist.
"I'd have married her if she was a
perfect forty-six," he said. "Stone is
only jealous because you didn't decide
to lose your braiss for him."
a
be
go
It makes the husband impatient nnd
When a couple
Perpetual Honeymoons.
A woman writer asks if a perpetual
honeymoon can exist In this modern
day, nnd quotes In connection with the
question what another woman said, to
wit: "Any woman who has lived with
a man eleven years can find ground
for divorce." There Is much talk of
this kind and there are many divorces,
all of which are the product of mate
rialism, which doesn't see the differ
ence between pleasure nnd happiness.
Thnt fact In its real working is behind
all divorces and married infelicities.
The fact Is that pleasure Is material
and soon wears out ; happiness Is spir
itual and lasts forever. Every mar
riage must note these standpoints, for
they are swayed by one or the other.
This is the age of divorces, because
materialism flourishes as never before.
the wife intolerant,
reaches that state they should sing
old hymns together and go to prayer
meeting. Cigars and dry goods won't
save them.—Ohio State Journal.
Importance of Paraguay.
It was from Ascuncion, Paraguay,
that parties went out to found Buenos
Aires, Santa Fe, Corrientes und others
of the Important cities of the River
Plate region. In fact, Argentina und
Uruguay were once under the Juris
diction of the governor of Ascuncion,
nnd it was at the request of a Para
guayan governor that Argentina was
cut off from Paraguay. The first ruil
road constructed in South America was
built in Paraguay. The first iron foun
dries, the first cannon and munitions
factories of South America were all
established in Paraguay.
Great Salmon Spawning Ground.
From early in March until late in
November the great annual breeding
of the salmon goes on. Upon 1,700
miles of coast line, from Bristol Bay
in Alaska, to the Fraser river in Brit
ish Columbia, the salmon swarm
moves in regular and wonderfully reg
ulated procession up the various fresh
water streams an« rivers to spawn
and die, a 9 did their parents four years
before.
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/ÿ MARY
.. t . THE DAY-FLY. ^
"Good morning," said the regular
fly politely. He was known to the
day-fly family as Beg which was thort
for regular.
"Good-day," said the day-fly.
"How long do you expect to live?"
asked Beg.
"Seven 1 days, perhaps," said the
day-fly.
"All of your family do just the same.
I really can't understand tt," said Reg.
"I suppose not," said the day-fly.
"That is because you are a regular fly.
You do Dot understand files of our
kind."
"That's so, I don't," said Reg.
"Sometimes I take a long time get
ting ready to burst into being a fly,"
said the day-fly, "but it doesn't matter
how long I take over it, once I am a
fly I do not care to live."
not?"
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How sad," said Beg. "Why -----
"I want to he a fly before I am one," j
said the day-fly. "Sometimes I hurry
more than other times out of my
larvae state, but after I am a fly my 1
ambition Is satisfied und I take no j
interest in anything." J
"Why are you called a day-fly?" ask- j
ed Beg. "I am sure many of your !
fumlly bave lived longer than a day.
And you said you expected to live
several days. Do explain it to me."
"I will,* said the day-fly, stretching
her wings.
"Pray begin soon, dear Lady Day
Fly," said Beg coaxlnglv, "for you have
such a short time to live."
Now the day-fly did not seem to feel
In the least bit unhappy when Beg
said that she had such a short time
to live. For It was really her own
nr:
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"I'm Too Dainty to Eat," Said the
Day-Fly.
fault she was going to die so soon, nnd
she was just as nice to Beg as If be
hadn't made a speech which would
have seemed very dismul to most crea
tures.
"I suppose we are called day-flies
because we live such a short time and
a day Is a very short time. But they
should call us flles-of-several-days
which would be much more correct."
"I suppose they haven't the time
to say such a lot about such small
creatures," said Beg.
"They have a great deal of time,"
said tlu> day-fly. "1 could say it and
I haven't so much time. They have
days and days and days—not two or
three. And they even have years and
—and—oh—terribly long times." The
day-fly trembled at the thought of so
many years ahead, and really she
couldn't think of years very well for
she only understood what days were,
She simply knew that years meant
days almost without number, so many
were there.
"But we shouldn't be called day
flics, for we almost always live several
days."
"Haven't you ever wanted to live
longer?" asked the regular fly.
"No," said the day-ily.
"Will you stop today and have
luncheon with me?" asked Beg. He
was growing quite hungry. He know
Mrs. Beg would be delighted to have
a guest for luncheon.
"Thank you, n<>." said the day-fly.
"1 never eat. I don't believe my fam
ily ever have, either. We aren't eat
ing flies."
"No wonder you don't live more
than several days," said Reg. "You
; n <' foo<1 ; ,ud no nourishment
j You cannot help but die. Eat and
you will live to be a strong fly like
myself."
"I'm too dainty to cat," said the
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all
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day-fly.
"Nonsense," said Reg. "It's far
more fun to eat than to be dainty."
"Perhaps," said the day-fly. "But
I really can't change my ways. I
tlmnk you kindly for your invitation,
but I do not want to eut. I just want
a little glimpse of the world and then
I do not want to live any more."
"I'm sorry," said Beg. "And I wish
you would change your ways, hut as
you won't, I'm thankful to you for the
interesting talk I've had with you. It
was good of you to give tne so much
of your time when yoa had so little
of it."
"You are welcome," said the day-fly.
"And now I must be going off. The
world Is beginning to tire me and I've
had enough of it I hope you'll enjoy
luncheon."
"Of all the queer flies." said Rea
"the day-fly takes the prize. Fancy
not wanting to eat or live !"
On the Same Principle.
"Mother, what color are my eyes?"
asked Clara.
"They are gray, dear."
"Mother, could the lady that makes
your gray hair brown, color my eyes?"
r
j Our boys are defending this country
• on the high seas and on the land. Our
own defense against a common enemy
is to keep the system clean by ridding
: the body of the toxins, or poisons, which
are bred in the intestines. When you
feel tired, sleepy, hea 'achy, when your
; breath is offensive, or pimples appear
! on the face and neck, it is time to recog
! nize the danger and protect your bodily
health by taking something for the liver
j such ns Dr. I'ierce's I'leasant IVliets.
The machinery of the body needs to
i be oiled, kept in good condition, just ns
the guns or machinery of a ship. Why
should a human person neglect his own
machinery more than that of His auto
mobile or ills guns? Yet most people
,
j do neglect themselves. Their tongue
has a dark brown color, skin sallow,
breath bad, yet they fail to see that
1 their machinery needs attention,
j Dr. I'ierce's I'leasant Pellets have
J been known for nearly half a century.
j Xhey are ninde of Mav-npple, leaves of
! a ] oe nnd j a ]ap, made Into a tiny pellet
and coated with sugar. They are stand
ard and efficacious. You cun obtain
them at an*' drug store In vials for
twenty-five cents. Ask for Dr. Pierce's
Pleasant Pellets—and get no other !
True to Tradition.
An English, Irish and Scottish sol
dier were returning to camp after a
stroll. They were footsore and tired,
and a kindly farmer on his way homo
from market gave them u lift on the
road.
The soldiers were very grateful and
wished to reward the farmer for his
kindness.
Said the Englishman: "Let's stand
him a drink !"
"Sure," said Pat, "that Is agin the
law. Leet's give him some baccy."
"Hoot, rna laddies!" interjected the
Scot. "Don't he extravagant. Let's
shake hands with the mon and wish
him good nicht." —Tit-Bits.
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the
BOSCHEE'S GERMAN SYRUP
will quiet your cough, soothe the In*
finmmation of a sore throat and lungs,
stop Irritation In the bronchial tubes.
Insuring a good night's rest, free from
coughing and with easy expectoration
In the morning. Made and sold In
America for fifty-two years. A won
derful prescription, assisting Nature In
building up your general health and
throwing off the disease. Especially
useful in lung trouble, asthmn, croup,
bronchitis, etc. For salt In all civil
ized countries.—Adv.
Easy.
Brown (who is engaging a parlor
rnnid during Ills wife's absence)— And
why did you leave your last place?
Comely Applicant—We!!, it—it was
for letting master kiss me, sir.
Brown— Allein ! You — h'm — may
consider yourself engaged.
A NEGLECTED COLD
Is often followed by pneumonia. Be
fore it is too late take Laxative Quicl
dine Tablets. Gives prompt relief in
cases of Coughs, Colds, La Grippe and
Headache. Brice 20c.—Adv.
A forestry service Is to he estab
lished in China with the hope-of bring
! Ing down th<- price of lumber.
STOP THOSE SHARP SHOOTING PAINS
I •'Femenina" is the wonder worker for all
female disorders. Price *i .oo and 50 c. Adv.
Kind words arc never lost—hut they
1 nrc frequently mislaid.
far
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The
I've
HEALTH RESTORED
Serious Kidney Trouble Was Re
moved by Doan's and Results
Have Been Permanent.
"Kidney trouble put mo in a bad
wav." says Thomas A. Knight, 021
N. Ninth St.. East St. Louis, 111. "It
came mi with pain across my back
:ind tin- attacks kept getting worse un
til I hail a spell that laid me Up.
Morphine was the only
relief and I couldn't
move without help. The
kidney secretions were
scanty, painful and filled
with sediment.
"I was unable to leave
the house, couldn't; rest
and became utterly ex
hausted. the only way
I could take ease was by
bolstering myself up
with pillows. For three months I was
in that awful condition and the doctor
said I had gravel. Doan's Kidney
Dills brought me back to good health
and T have gained wonderfully in
strength and weight."
Sit om to before me.
A. M. EGGMANN, Notary Public.
ALMOST THREE YEARS LATER
May 2 t, 1917, Mr. Knight said: "Thé
cure Doan't brought me has been per
manent." "
Cot Doan's at Any Store, 60 c a Box
DOAN'S
FOSTER-MILBURN CO.. BUFFALO. N. Y.
Hr. Knight
CHILDREN'S COUGHS
msr he checked, and more serious condi
tions of the throat will be often avoided
by promptly «Ivin* the child a dose of
PISO'S