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Tells It Bowser Goes Out to Hunt the Chestnut (Copyright, >917, by the MoCluke Newspa per Syndicate.) By M. QUAD. For several days I have observed a spirit of restlessness about Mr. Bow ser, and I had made up my mind that he was longing for a trip out into the country. In his conversations he spoke of the chestnuts and acorns; he men tioned the rabbit; lie spoke of the fall f.pple, and so I knew that he would take a day off soon and refresh his boyhood memories. Mr. Bowser came down to break fast one morning prepared for a jaunt and lie said to me: "I think I will take a little trip out Into the country today. I want to saunter around and see farm scenes. I want to pick up the great brown chestnuts under the trees. I want to pick the golden pippin right off the apple tree. I want to buy a quart of buttermilk of some farmer and drink it down without stopping to breathe. It seems as if it would almost make me over to spend the day out in the coun try." ''There's nothing to hinder yon from going," I replied. "In fact, I want you A <X c * V * 'So mm ff-Zr o & £? *He Ran Into a Currant Bush and Got Tangled Up." to go, for you look a little weary. Will you bring home some chestnuts and apples?" "You bet your life, and don't for get to let me take a basket along. Maybe I will gather some mushrooms, also. At any rate, I will make a day of it and come home feeling as frisky as a darling colt." "You will telephone if anything hap pens to you? Most of the farmers have telephones." "Oh, nothing will happen to tele phone about. It will be a very quiet day with me." In half an hour Mr. Bowser was off, carrying a market basket on his arm. He was as pleased as a boy on his way to a circus. It was about two o'clock in the after noon when the telephone rang me up and a strange voice asked: "Is this Mrs. Bowser?" "Yes." — — "Mrs. Samuel Bowser?" "Yes, that is correct. Who are you, •sse?" 'anie Is Ballarjt, and I'm a out teu miles from the city Boston road. Can't you fley car, which runs right and come out here?" ' -should I come out there?" ~ chill of fear coming over there's a short, fat, bald here who says he's Sain your husband. He isn't i needn't be alarmed. He met with an incident and vill have to stay for a day „c I'll make it as pleasant as Mr. Bowser sent you his love r.ifnks you'd better come out." ■"Do you mean that an accident has ppened to Mr. Bowser?" I asked. Well, j'ou might call it an accident, call it an incident. An accidcut •re you cut your foot with the Mr. Bowser hasn't cut his foot, ent is when you fall out of a break both legs, and Mr. Bow had no fall and no broken had better put on your bon -ine out." V ird to get the farmer to tell hat had happened, but he have good reasons for hold ae truth. This increased my course, and I soon got ready o. All the way out to Farmer * I was so pale and nervous p the passengers on the car no me, and three or four women over to me and said they hoped ^Aiothing serions had occurred. The I farmer was at his gate as I got ofl the car, and the first question 1 asked him was: ''Is Mr. Bowser dead?" "Why, no, ma'am," he replied. "Come right in and you'll see him alive. No need to be alarmed about him." I went in and found Mr. Bowser in bed. That is, I supposed it was Mr. Bowser, for it was some time before I was certain of his identity. I had a few words to say in praise of the man and he went on: "I have four hives of bees. I wanted to move them to a new place to pass the winter. I mentioned it to Mr. Bowser and he offered to help me. Two men can carry a beehive very nice. All you have to do is to place a piece of paper over the hole where they come in and go out. Then you can carry the hive between you. Mr. Bowser told me that lie was not afraid of bees, but he had always loved them and they seemed to love him. He was very anxious to help me, and, of course, I was willing he should. We had to pass over some rough ground to reach the new place and I warned him that we must go slow and carefully. We had got half the distance with tlie hive all right when he strikes his foot against something in the grass and down he goes and down goes the hive, for I couldn't manage it alone. You can imagine, ma'am, what happened then." "Yes," I said. "The hive went down with a crash, and the bees came pouring out. I was scared, which I shouldn't have been, and I took to my heels. Mr. Bowser got up and took to his heels also, but he ran into a currant bush and got tangled up. The bees didn't see anybody else around, and so they went for him. There were 5,000 of them, I reckon, but not more than 1.900 got a bite at him. I rescued him as soon as I could and got him into the house and undressed him and put him to bed, and there he is, lying before your face and eyes. That's about all, ma'am, except thnt he doesn't talk much, and the reason is that his lips are swelled out like a stuffed chicken." Mr. Bowser had various swellings that stood out like toads on a log. Just how mnny, I did not dare count. His eyes were shut, and I could not •: > "I Want to Pick Up the Great Brown Chestnuts Under the Trees." offer him a hand glass that he might see what a beauty lie was. The only thing to do was to apply things to take out the poison and reduce the swellings, and to help the farmer as I could until his wife got back. I stay ed there all that night and most of the next day. and, when I left for home, Mr. Bowser could partly open one eye and utter grunts through His swollen lips. It was four days before lie came home, and then several pas sengers on the car asked him if a tree had fallen all over him. He didn't say much when lie reached the house. All he did say ''■as : "Mrs. Bowser, if this thing occurs again I will see my lawyer and you will see yours, and we will arrange for a quiet divorce. We have reached the dead line at last!" I realized that Mr. Bowser must blame someone beside himself, and I didn't ''sass" back a single word. ofl him in Mr. I I it is the lie the we I GOOD SAMARITAN NABBED BY POLICE Arrested While Selling Coal to Coney Island's Poor at Cost Price. New York.—Morris Goldberg, a f'ltney Island hotel proprietor, while selling coal to the poor at cost, was arrested on the charge of obstruct ing the street. Sentence was sus pended. Coney Island's poor—and there are many of them—was able to buy coal from Goldberg at 50 cents a hundred weight. This is ten cents less than the price fixed by the fuel adminis trator. Goldberg obtained 41 tons of coal immediately after lie decided to do what he could for the Coney Island poor. Men, women and children, with bags, baskets, baby carriages and sleds, lim'd mw: /N COAL 100 lbs n 'w* mi & Became the "Good Samaritan of Coney Island." up each day In front of Goldberg's hotel and each was permitted to buy a minimum of 10 pounds. Goldberg soon became the "Good Samaritan of Coney Island." He did not deny his guilt. He said he was actuated only through sympathy and did not make one cent of profit. He says he will not resume his charitable work until he receives an apology from the police commissioner. Meanwhile the misery of the Coney Island poor increases. HUSBAND DECEIVED INTO THINKING HE WAS FATHER Chicago. — Alfred Kaumer loved the four-year-old boy and baby girl in his home and be lieved he was their father. A few days after his wife's disap pearance he took the baby girl to a foundling home and learn ed that his wife had taken the girl from the home shortly aft er it was born. Later, when *he took the boy to the home, he learned that his wife had also deceived him about the second child. Now he is preparing adoption papers. KIND SKELETONS OF INDIANS Boy Scouts Digging Hole for Flag Pol© Unearth Bones of Redskin Family. Minneapolis, Minn.—Skeletons of seven Indians were discovered in Wny zatn by members of boy scout troop No. 83 while they were digging a hole to erect a flagpole on the crest of Bald hill. They were bones of a man. a woman and five children. With the exception of the skulls, the bones were badly crumbled. Arrow heads were also found. Scout Junior B. Buck has been awarded the credit of making the discovery. It confirms the old legend, accord ing to the members of the troop, that Bald hill was the scene of a tremend ous Indian battle many years ago. It is also considered probable thnt the entire hill is honeycombed with Indian graves. If permission can be secured, the members of the troop will conduct a systematic search of the hill next spring, unless a regular archaeological expedition takes charge of the inves tigation. WOMAN ARRESTS TWO MEN They Decide to Fight, and Finally Land in Hospital and Later in Jail. San Francisco.—Deeply humiliated when Policewoman Katherine Eisen hart attempted to arrest them for cre ating a disturbance, Madest and Frank McDonald, brothers, decided to fight. They finally landed in a hospital and !at(* in jail. Both are charged with assault with intent to commit murder. Although badly mauled. Officer Eis nhart succeeded in bagging both pris ers unassisted. ry, and lars. ers >n the ceit the he tlie him at print had boy was ies tions. in 13 -YUR- 0 LSB 0 Ï VICTI MIZES BONKS Innocent Smile of Youth Served as an Indorsement of His Honestv. CANADIANS ARE HIT Made It Point to Cal! on Bank During Busy Hour and Simple Methods Banish Suspicion—Makes Full Confession. Winnipeg.—Immigration authorities at Edmonton are writing the final chapter in perhaps the most unusual case in the history of Canadian crime, In preparing for the deportation of thirteen-year-old Walter Zeil, who two weeks ago defrauded Winnipeg banks with worthless checks during the course of a crime tour which had stretched across the Dominion and oc cupied his time for several mouths. During his stay in Winnipeg young Zeil visited practically every bank in the city and succeeded, through ills boyishness, in inducing two institu tions to cash fraudulent papers. He made it a point to call during busy hour, presenting to the teller check which was made payable to John Carter, whom lie claimed to be, asking that it be placed to bis account after deducting £10. Accountant Marks Check. At one hank lie said to the account int: "Would you mark ibis cheek?" ■ teller won t cash it. I only want £10 < n it anyway, and I want to change my account from the National Trust company to your bank." Ilis innocent appearance did not lead the accountant to suspect decut and the check was readily marked. At an other bank the boy was without a coat and told tlie accountant that he was in a hurry to get a few dollars on a check which he wished deposited to his ac count. Here he succeeded in getting £lö more. At the National Trust com pany offices he tried tiie same metinx on the Bank of Montreal, tendering tw checks each of which called for £50, The teller and accountant refused to cnsli them Dut put them to his account They were later found to be worthless, When asked for his address he gave a éu > V?.f «S v/ U a — "Would You Please Mark This Check?" number the premises of which are not occupied. When he called at the Union hank he ngahi appeared to he in a hur ry, but the teller Insisted that the young crook I« properly identified. Simple Methods Banish Suspicion. The boy, who was apprehended at Edmonton, is a native of Buffalo, N. \\ Although he wears knickerbockers and a boyish smile, young Walter was sufficiently clever to defraud Canadian banking institutions out of sums of money which in the aggregate are be lieved to total several thousand dol lars. He would approach paying tell ers at the different banks, he visited, generally during the rush hours, and after presenting a check would ask for cash, saying that the check was drawn >n his savings account. In many cases the hurried teller, never suspecting de ceit from n small boy, would hand over the Dills without further question. Did he adhere strictly to the rules and tell tlie lad that he must have the check marked by the ledger keeper, Walter uld approach that individual, press through the crowd that surrounded him as closing time approached and standing on tiptoe would proffer his paper with the request in a boyish treble, "Please mark tills." A glance at the lad's frank face, a hurried im print of the blue stamp, and Walter had in his possession a perfectly good check. The favorite amount for which the boy crook made out his bogus checks was £50. Zeil, in a confession made at Ed monton, admitted a number of robber ies in addition to his bank transac tions. Walter is aide to converse fluently in live different languages. He lias ad mitted passing bogus checks in Niagara Falls, Buffalo, Lockport, Rochester, n-bec, Toronto. Montreal, Regina and 'haonten. I mmm wm & MARY OftAHAlj.BQBNtK. of oc in to to MR. MINK'S ESCAPE. "All," said raped another "What do j have escaped Mr. Mink, "I have es winter." mi mean by saying y nnother winter?" ask U d Mrs. Mink. "You haven't escaped it at all, for you've been around all the time. Just as i have. And there has been winter, all right, snow and sleet and hall, wind and cold." "But we've kept warm," said Mr. Mink. "Indeed we have. Then what do you mean by saying you've escaped anoth er winter?" asked Mrs. Mink, who was much puzzled. "I don't see," she con tinued, "any point, in saying you've es caped something when you haven't. And what is more there Is no special reason why you should escape the win ter, any more than there is reason why I should. \Ye are both well protected by our fur coats. What more do we need?" "You don't understand what I mean and why I am so very thankful," said Mr. Mink. "Are you so very thankful, my dear?" asked Mrs. Mink. "Have you found some good tilings for our sup Tl • • \ r < 1 > /<• Ï ' tyN 1SÄ .. ~ ak r\ a "Be Calm, Be Calm," Said Mr. Mink. per? I shall not have to do any mar keting, hurrah! I like to have you do some too." For Mr. Mink helps Mrs. Mink with the marketing, but still she did not understand what he meant, nor what he was trying to talk about. "I am thankful, my dear," said Mr. Mink. "Yes, Indeed I am. But It's not about the supper I have found. I hav* not had any supper, nor found any." "Gracious," said Mrs. Mink, "I'll have to hurry to the store." Which really meant she would have to hurry to find something good. "You're surely hungry, aren't you?" she asked. She had a dreadful fear that Mr. Mink might have lost ills ap petite. That would worry her so. "Yes. I'm hungry," said Mr. Mink. "But I'm relieved. Very much re lieved." "Is thnt the same as being thank ful?" asked Mrs. Mink. "I was never graduated from school." "It's just ahout the same in this case." said Mr. Mink. "I'm thankful because I'm relieved." "Oh goodness," exclaimed Mrs. Mink. "I'm getting most horribly mixed up." "You see." said Mr. Mink. "I'm re loved because I've escaped another winter." 'Tell me what that means." said me what that means." said Mrs. Mink. "I couldn't understand thnt In the first place." "I've escaped another winter because I haven't been trapped." Mrs. Mink shrieked aloud. "T#ips! Traps! What is that you say?" "Be calm, he calm," said Mr. Mink. I said thnt I had escaped another winter of being caught. I was not put into n trap. I escaped every one by niv cleverness, and so did you, Mrs. Mink." "Oh, now I see," said Mrs. Mink. Ah, yes, it's been a wonderful escape for both of us, and, of course, it's n relief not to he caught—a very great and enormous relief. And we've every reason to be thankful. Now I under stand everything." They may have traps around now or later," said Mr. Mink, "but I al ways feel a great relief when the spring is coming. I always imagine that folks aren't so interested in fur after the cold days have gone. I feel thnt in the winter they may work so hard to capture us—then, and in the fnii when the cold days are ahead. They will think of summer and swim ming and boating and thin clothes now." Maybe they'll think ahead and plan for next year," said Mrs. Mink. "My dear, my dear." said Mr. Mink, "we mustn't worry all the time. We feel better now because we think a peaceful, quiet season is ahead of us." "And how do you know that spring is really here?" asked Mrs. Mink. "I saw the ground hog in the dis tance today," said Mr. Mink. "He In the first sign of spring, and I also saw Mr. \\ oodchuck, so I know the winter had really passed." Hugh. A Frenchman, boasting |g company that he had thoroughly mastered the English language, was asked to write the following from dictation: "As Hugh Hughes was hewing a yule 1 from a yew tree a man dressed clothes of a dark hue came up t and said: 'Have you se.-u mv 'if you will wait until I hew'this yew I will go with you anywhere in Eu rope to look for your c Hugh." eg in Hugh Wes?" sal. HOW MRS. BOS Canton, Ohio.—"I suffered from a female trouble which canoed me much suffering, and two doctors decided that I would have to go through an operation before I could get well. "Mymother, who had been helped by LydiaE-Pinkham a Vegetable Com pound, advised me to try it before sub mitting to an opera tion. It relieved m© from my troublea ao I can do my house work without any difficulty. I advise any woman who is afflicted with female troublea to give Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound a trial and it will do aa much for them."—Mrs. Marie Boyd, 1421 5th St, N. E., Canton, Ohio. Sometimes there are serious condi tions where a hospital operation is the only alternative, but on the other hand m bo many women have been cured by this famous root and herb remedy, Lvaia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, after doctors have said that an operation waa necessary — every woman who wants to avoid an operation should give it a fair trial before submitting to such a trying ordeal. If complications exist, write to Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co., Lynn, Mass., for advice. The result of many year# experience is at your service. The Truth at Last. Professor—What caused Caesar's death? Student—To.» many Roman punches. — Boston Transcript. IMMEDIATE ATTENTION should be given to sprains, swellings, bruises, rheumatism and neuraiigia. Keep Mansfield's Magic Arnica Lini ment handy on the shelf. Three sizes —25c, 50c and £1.00.—Adv. It' If y< ' good to think before you act, u don't think about it too long. Wright** Indian Vegetable PUI* contain nothing but vegetable ingredients, which act gently a* a tonic and purgative. Adv. Beware of your ( nemies. the friendly advice of WAS DISCOURAGED Lost 65 Pounds in Weight and IkJ la Give Up Work. Has Been Well Since Using Doan's. "Being exposed to extreme heat when working as an engineer, and then going outdoors to cool off, caused my kidney trouble," says KnrI Goerlng, 8513 N. Orkney St., Philadelphia, Pa. "In cold weath er and when It was damp, my Joints and muscles would swell and ache and often my limbs were so badly af fected it was only with great misery I was able to get around. For a week I was laid up in bed, hardly able to M - _. move hand or foot. nr ' '* oertn < "Another trouble was from irreg ular and scanty passages of the kidney secretions. I became dull and weak and had to give up my work. Headaches and dizzy spells nearly blinded me and I went from 265 to -00 in weight. Nothing helped me and I felt I was doomed to suffer. "At last I had the good fortune to hear of Doan's Kidney Pills and be gun taking them. I soon got back my strength and weight and all the rheumatic pains and other kidnev troubles left. I have remained cured." Sworn to before me, WM. II. M'MUNN, Notary Public. Get Doan'* at Any Store, 60e a Box DOAN'S 'VfJi.V FOSTER-M1LBURN CO, BUFFALO, N. Y. & Befor# Aft* LEHMAN'S HAIR DRE8SING Make* Hanfi, Stubborn. Kinky, Corly Hair SOFT, STRAIGHT AND 0L0S8Y. , A delightfully perfumed pomade and power ful hair atralghtener; nourishes the scalp, re llere* dandruff and other diseases of scalp and akin. Stimulât«! the roots of the hair, mäkln* it jtow rltb, long and luxurious. U,e . h * !r t™" »Utting, breaking and falling out. BEWARE OF IMITATIONS GET THE GENUINE "»/reloua preparation la the dlsrorery 5L.5 . Lehman, chemist. It is so sue CCBB ». unscrupuloua people are offering Worthless Imitation«. Ask your druggist for » « Dressing, large square tin bog ror 2oc. If ho cannot supply you send direct to the maker—80c by mall postpaid. COWARD LEHMAN, Chemist Memphis» Tenn. Also manufacturer of Lehman's "Fair Tier '* • wonderful ointment which clears and beau Tincs the complexion, making the skin sift «nd fair. I*rice 25c at your druggist; 30c I'T mall postpaid. Agent* wanted. ECZEMA! formerly ca.ed • ls guaranteed to nnnnA...I • - , . . 4w CDUl* that purpose and poundod for mat pui If Hunts Sulva r.lV , ' " 4. B. RICHARDS MEDICINE HO.. SHERMAH.TEKA W. M U., MEMPHIS, NO. 11--1918.