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EATON WEEKLY DEMOCRAT.
IN ALL ITS BR1SCHKS
AND PROMPTLY EXECUTED
AT THIS OFFICE
All BrVicr-'S-.r ,oork or dv,.rUtoc. whrii aent hj
I'mlW KilUaKwii a rr.npt ntreuti.n aa i(r:,iiM
railed In pcrwon.
Adifrtiwuifnti i not under contract mint I nli,
marked the Irmrthol Uue deaited. or they will be c(
tinned and chrM tor tm ordered ont.
The Musical Family.
I belong to a musical lot.
I yc KiRteni, and brothon', and cousins,
I've srandntK and irraitdmainnnis cot.
And ancle, HJ. atr". in dozen.
Ws all of us inatrnm -nt piny.
We practice night, morning: and noon :
My father at six every day,
Ueto up to awake the baboon.
My crnndm other, ninety about. JT.
A widow was left all alone.
"Cos grandfather blew himself out.
One night on the irantlc trombone.
My Uncle Sam plays on the harp.
In a wild and inspirit l-iI manner ;
And nry Annt plays three tnnes in sharp.
On a strong-minded Broad wood planner.
My threat Aunt's comiHsed ishc's a " .S7wi".
Oratorios one is called JVoc, . .
And on S u nila- glut 11 as a hymn
Arranged for the cheerful ohoc.
My sister's alsstihtill to the flute.
And brings oat most Wondorful tones:
My nephew a vulgar young brute
Prefers nigger airs on the ttones.
My youngest, who says " rfat" for '" Mat."
In fact he's of five the hut turner.
Performs with two spoons on my hat.
And cries out, " Papa, I'm a dumincr !"
My baby in arms has a way- t
Of nl&viue the fife on its coral :
And my twins play the bngpiiic all day.
With a loyalty worthy Balmoral.
Through life we've in harmony passed
Wlrn a stock of twenty or wore tunes.
Ami amu we've together ajaa-cil.
WMsh i eiual to two or the fortune.-.
Wherever our musical tribe
Toe a house "rwa onr aim, T admiriw-
To make ail the neighbors subs.urUm
A sum to induce us to iiult ft.
So all the great cities we've seen.
Proa, the Tbnaaesto the '"if tr.agfl"
Aad tgrary one in 'cot has ruahaajiularW
A heartily wtllina subscriber.
As dun Europe we've done, tlio word's sharp
To Jericho: tnitaer we'll OK.
To learn the neglected Jew's harp
From native professors, tiwod-nyo !
A Leaf from a Bachelor's Diary.
From London Society.
Christmas Eve. Half past nine
( l uuiuis comes "nto my room to clear
" I suppose, sir," he Bays, as though it
nere a subject not admitting or a doubt.
" I suppose you don t dine home to
Both the tone and the remark are un
fortunate. I have not an invitation to
dine out, and 1 cannot insist upon din
ing at home, a my arrangement with
the Crumruses provides for dinner on
Sunday only. I had intended to put
nry drfflcurty to my landlady, whe is
good-na lined nail easily persuaded. T
find, instead, I have her husband to
deal with, so 1 clone my book slowly
and say, Well,'" as if 1 were thinking
and not quite certain.
At oat gentlemen din e out ou Christ
mas day,'' he says, staring at the wall
.sonic feet above my head; "aud Mrs.
Crumms always expects a holiday on
I feel, after that statement, the only
I hfetg to be done is to surrender grace
fully. 'Of courso; quite right. Oh ye! I
shall dine out, Crumms."
I ring the bell for some hot water,
and Crumms answers it in full waiter's
dress, white tie, dress coat, and a low
cut waistcoat, showing a large amount
of shirt front with an elaborate frill.
Tie walks into the room as r? he is very
proud of imaelf, and is more . jjajjer
1 ike in his manner than usual.
" Why, Crumms," I ask, " where are
you going If? ai0 ,a
"Out waiting, sir." Ho pauses for
minute, then, becomes less majestic and
more coiitioVntia.1. " 1 always go out
waiting on CritJnas day," lie" add-,
"and I have been to the sanfe house for
the last fourteen years. The gentleman
and lady are a couple as came to Crown
at Newford the year I marriedAIrs.
Cm mm. We weVe both :U the liotel,
you, know, and were just leaving io
rotn.Miji h;re. Tin- lady took a div.il
.liking t Mrs. Criiuirtis, and one day slip
said to me, " o you anil your wilu a re
going up to Loudon, Cjruivuu. Now
you must come and wait at my bouse
when vsb wins. t lie kjw'i nd I have been,
there eyery Christmas day since then
not missed oner-si y on ofcliertday "
hel sas tMs iuicw,mn oft-lrand man.
- ner, as if taaMawlawKjiay u. were'. f lib int
portanee " but they Bfln'trogulitr.''
" Ydu go there and help wait, I sup-'
" Well, 1 domost oT the waiting: nil
of it, you anay say.'' left renlies. " They
dpn't keen a man, and there are. onbW
lite leuiaie -el .u 1 1. 1 uev aill I murn
good, not like Mrs. Crrtmm. Sh coukl
wait, she could. She was wondVrful
handy. That's what first made um look
where do you go to ?
Souare. iouiville is the
On the spur of the momettt,1 just to
mm what CrutBau will J.ak,V' Will
vou tAke mo with yi to (lnyy
- You, iwCT'l3aaS'!l)li,!s, m 'uArisc.
Wrll realVr, sir, 1 don't think Mr.
lXegiWlle would thdtlgh T have rSiown
him these fourteen years, 1 am afraid
he'd think it rather presumptuous of
ne to introduce a gentleman into his
n I suppose so," I answer ; the idea
of the waiter introducing a friend as a
fuest at dinner being very absurd. "But
didn't mean that. Take me with you
" You 1 you go out waiting ?" said
Crumms, holding his breath.
Yes: if you will tako me."
" Well, I do call that a good joke,"
he gasped out. " Lord, sir, what an
idea!" Then chopping his waiter-like
manner altogether, and becoming thor
ouglily human, he burst out laughing.
I had only intended to chaff Crumms,
bilt it strikes me that going out with
iiim will be more lively tlnin spending
Tirrstmas day lv myself, and I begin
'Tfop that he will take me.
" I dare say Mr. Domville would have
no objection to an extra hand," I urge,
" aa4 i could go as a. .young friend of
jours, who is just beginning and wants
To learn his business.
" Lord, sir," pants Crumms again.
" you ain't serious.'"
" By Jove, I am, though, I say. I
don't know what to do with myself nil
day. I sjfcould like to go out waiting."
" But you will be careful, sir, won't
f" says Crumms. yielding. "You
won't let Mr. Domville know. There
i ., l any one likely to be there as will
reeognize you. 1 hope."
Three o'clock. Crumms and I are in
the cab on our way to Bedford Square.
The whole, time lie is cither laughing at
my going out with him or nervous as to
the result In the latter mood he is
almost piteous in his entreaties to uio
to h careful, and repeats over and over
again his directions how to wait. We
stop the cab at the erirnet' of the street
leading to the siju.u . .. .,,,,( waflJ on to
ft iig irowse wrth a Isa-jse hall.
There are three s-rwwu nomg
JBiLti?S? and piles of plates, busy lay
ingUT flle'T;,t,frtj,. 'ntj flCA-me as
I stand by the side of" Crumms, and he
introduce me as a young friend who
ulli utri ilAil.it i
Eaton Weekly Democrat.
F. T. FOSTER, Publisher.
VOL. IV. NO. 30.
a . i ...
Devoted to the Interests
of the Democratic Party
EATON, OHIO, THURSDAY, MARCH 9, 1871.
and the Collection of Local
and General News.
Two Dollars per annum, in Advance.
WHOLE NUMBER 211.
wants to see a little genteel waiting, and
whom he has made bold onough to
bring. Then, as if that settled the mat
ter, he goes off into business, and asks
several questions as to the number and
names of the guests. I notice that the
servants all treat him with great respect,
and he, in return, is condescending and
polite to them. With me, when they
are in the room, he assumes an authori
tative air, and all the time he is very
grave, and looks as if the cares of his
position were too much for him. He
smiles once, when we are alone, as I
hand him a jelly : and then, his muscles
being relaxed, his old tit of laughing
suddenly broke out again. He cannot
laugh loud, but laughs lnwaruly, and
shakes so tremendously that the jelly
rolls and trembles to an alarming de-
gree ; and ft is only oy tiie means oi
. a . , m
promptly taking it under my own pro
tection, that I save it from being shaken
on the the Moor.
O Lor' I to think of you being hero,"
he mutters; and the next instant is gra
vity itself, as Mrs. Uomville s voice is
heard on the stairs.
She is a middle-aged lady, and speak.
n a friendly manner to Crumms, and is
particular in his inquiries after his' wife
and children. He points me out as a
young friend of his, who has come to
help him : and Mrs. Pomville seems
quite satisfied, and goes up stairs again
to tne ara w i n g-roojn .
Four o'clock. The dinner is ready and
all the guests have arrived. Crumms
stations me behind the door, and goes
himself to the head of the taole, and 1
watch the people as they come into the
room and take their places.
They are mostly middle-aged, like
their host and hostess, and evidently
old friends ; for several nod to Crumms,
and one gentleman is quite hearty in has
greeting, and says it would not seem
like a Christmas dinner without him.
Mr. Pomville laughs, and asks after
Mrs. Crumms : but Crumms refuses to be
thawed, and replies in a tone as if such
trifling questions interfered with the
So far everything has gone right. Then
comes a slight mishap. Just as every
body is seated and silent, and Mr. Dom
ville going to say grace, Crumms jives
me a signal, and I step forward quietly
to close the door. The movement at
tracts the attention of a youpg lady,
who is sitting with her back to rue. and
she turns round. She evidently has not
noticed me before, and her laughing
gray eyes scan me wrtn surprise. My
face is a new one to her among the many
well-known faces round the table. I
suppose she thinks I am a guest who
has arrived late and just come into the
room, and, .seeing me standing there and
no one taking any notice ofme. she
says, courteously :
Isn t there a chair tor you t then
turning round to Mrs. Domville, " O,
e is a gentleman left outside
mville, instead saying grace,
stares, and half Uses from Ins
ile the comiMMjli turn toward
is certainly an embarrassing
but ijrs. Donivflle comes to
e. and savs cjuietlv, " It is quite
right, Helen." The yorPlJ lady looks a
little- onfused, and Crujnms. in hi
nervousness, spoils evet Vftling by rush
ing up-to her and callhag out:
"He's come to help me wait, Mist
My fair champion thereupon blushes
very deeply, and begs my pardon : seve
ral of the guests have simultaneous
twilehings of the mouth ; Crumms looks
half ajvy, half apologetically, at me ;
andwHast Mr. . DonddHa, in a husky
voice, says grace, while Miss Linton
haqfhber head' very low and hides her
fajraBe next minute Crummy, serious
and imperturbable as ever, removes the
CAVff the soup, antllainer begins.
'""rWfcve 1 ii eqiai t ted myself creditably.
CruiuuaV declared that T did wonderfully
d is inclined to think, i Delieve,
that 1 have wasted natural talent by not
being a waiter. At uny mile. I don't spill
anything over.anvbody's'nress, rn knock
anybody on thehead. aoarefully watch
ruiiiuv- i r Ins signals, and. tnsnks to
having been at a dinner before, though
not in the capacity of a waiter, 1 have
some idea of what ought to be done, and
remove the right vcrs, and hand
frWnrl Mich dishes as ought to be handed
the proper time. The difficulty I have
fo keep hiy countenance, partienlarly
when 1 hanH anything to Miss Linton.
Mi.' is so bright-looking, ; and it is such
fun teTsee the sparkle in her eyes, and
the way they drop ir they meet mine,
and a little repressed smile steal over
her litis, that it taxes my powers to the
utmost to keep from laughing. I fee
flint 1 should very much like to change
places with the young fellow sitting by
her side. He does not seem to have
much to say for himself, and he exam
ines every dish, as it is handed to him,
through an eye-glass. His inspection is
long, and his nose is so close, that I
have a growing inclination each time to
bob the dish up in his face. For more
than half the dinner he is silent, then
talks a little politics staunch Con-servntism-and
Miss Linton immediately
enunciates the strongest radical princi
ples, upholds woman's suffrage, and
their having seats in Parliament. This
seems to overwhelm him, and he retires
from the contest with a sigh.
Later on, he tries again, when the
mince-pies are being handed round.
" Will you have a happy month ?" lie
asks, with a faint smile, which disturbs
his eye-glass and brings it down in his
lap. He readjusts it slowly, and not
trusting himself to repeat the joke,
asks her to have some mince-pie.
" No, thank you; I never eat them,"'
" Have you never tasted them ?" he
says, frowning as if he wera barrister
cross-examining a witness, but probably
because his glass give a premonitory
" O, yes: I have tasted them, but 1
don't care about them," she answered.
He has no comment to make upon
her reply, so he helps himself in si
lence. fii.v o'clock. Crumms and I solemnly
"pat on the wine and the glasses, put the
dessert dishes a little one way or the
other, and leave the room.
" Bravo V whispers Crumms when we
are in the hall. " Bravo, sir ! With a
little teaching you'd make a capital
waiter. And Miss Linton mistaking
you for a gentleman, too! What a
joke ! At least," he adds, as if he sud
denly feels that he had made rather a
mistake himself, "of course, that is
what you are, and a gent is always a
gent, I. say. But you understand, sir.
was so ludicrous. There ain't any
thing more for you to do, and I can say
you've got an appointment to keep, vou
Acting upon his advice, we go up
stairs to the hall, and Crumms lets me
out, shutting the door rery quietly be
aunt : imm
It is a fine clear night, and 1 turn my
face homeward, and stroll slowly along
the deserted square. I go all up the
long, straight Gower street without
meeting any one. By the University I
see a figure advancing quickly. We
pass under a gas lamp, and both pull
" Herbert, by Jove !"
" Why, Roche, what are you doing
here? Going out to dinner 7"
" Just had it," he replies ; " been to
see an old lady home."
He then naturally wonders what I am
doing strolling along the streets on
Christmas night. I tell him I have
been out to dinner.
" They have broken up very early,"
he says; and then asks suddenly,
" You haven't sneaked off to read,
This is said in a tone as if it were
mortal sin for a man to read for an e
animation on a Christmas day.
" That's right," he savs, when I had
disclaimed any idea of reading. " Well
you come home with me. My people
will be very glad to see you. We always
have a carpet dance or something in the
evening r , .
I accept readily, and go ' back with
Roche to his house.
Nine o'clock. We have cleared the
room for dancing, and the first quadrille
has mst commenced. JSot being able
to get a partner, 1 am standing on the
landing, when a carriage rolls up to
the street door, and there is a loud
knock, announcing the arrival of new
Mrs. Roche hurries down and meets
them in the hall. I hear her say, as
they come up stairs, " You are just too
late for the first dance, Helen.
The name quite makes me start.
" By Jove, if it shoidd be Miss Lin
ton!" is mv muttered thoueht.
I half hope it may be ; f half hope it
may not be ; and I haven t time to de
cide which half is the stronger, before
Miss Linton herself comes laughing up
At the very first glimpse of her, I in
stinctively drew back into the shade,
and she and her mamma pass by with
out noticing me.
It seems very ridiculous to meet the
same young lady twice in one evening
first as a waiter, and then a a guest
but there it is done, it is faii accompli j
and Miss Linton and I are once more
under the same roof. 1 wonder if she
will recognise me, and I watch her with
interest as she goes round the room
Sooner or later we must meet face to
face; and the awkward moment comes
sooner than I expect.
When Mis .Liaton reaches the door
where Roche is standing with his part
ner, she stons there and talks to them
when they are not dancing.
"Is there anv lemonade, Edwards
she asks presently. " I want some if
" There's a bad sign, Nelly, after din
ing out, he answers with a laugn.
There is some down stairs. I would
get you a glass, but you -see it is my
turn. It you don t mind you will nncl
somebody outside, I think."
Roche leads off with the third figure ;
Miss Linton comes out upon the land
ing; and I move from the shadow of the
wall into the light. - Q
She gives a quick start with her head
and opens her eyes m surprise as she
sees me. There) is- fust a little tighten
ing of her lips, a faint blush rises to
her lips, and then she asks me
quietly to fetch her a glass of lem
onade. Roche had said it was down stairs, and
find it in the dining room. I am ra
ther glad of the excuse to get away and
have my laugh out ; for the whole thing
more and more absurd, since' Miss
Linton has made a second mistake, and
thinks I am a waiter. It is a very natu
ral error, of courso ; and to keep up the
deception, I put the glass on a tray and
gravely up stairs.
She is quite composed now, and
thanks me unconoernedly as I hand her
the lemonade. Then we stand side by
side I holding the tray in both hands
till the dance finishes, and Roche
comes out to us.
" Have you got your lemonade 7" he
asks, f That's right." Now you want
partner for the next dance. Who
shall it be? I am engaged till after
supper, unfortunately. O, here ! Let
me introduce you. Miss Linton, Mr.
Instead of waiting to hear
the young lady puts down
quickly and looks indignant.
" Don't be absurd, Edward
" she says,
she walks oft.
" Some mistake, old fellow," whispers
Roche to me, and catches her up just
inside the room.
They are so close 1 can hear what
"What is the matter, Nelly?" he
" How could you bo so ridiculous as
introduce me to him?" she replies.
" Why shouldn't I ?"
" Why shouldn't you? He is a waiter ;
know that. He was waiting at Mrs.
Instead of looking contrite, Roche
goes off into a roar of laughter.
" It was very stupid of you," she says,
half crossly. " It forced me to be rude
" What nonsense, Nelly ! I shouldn't
play yousuch a trick as that, of course.
That is Herbert ; he is in the same office
I am. '
"You aio not joking, Edward, arc
you?" she asks him quite seriously.
" No ; upon my word, I am not."
"O, I am so sorry, then," she says,
immediately. "But there was some
body just like him at the Domvilles'.
What shall I do ?"
" Come and be introduced, that's all.
I'll put it right." And they came to
gether onto the landing.
" My cousin made a mistake, Her
bert," he says, while she stands by him,
blushing deeply. Then he adds, laugh
ing, " She mistook you for a "
" I made a mistake," she breaks in,
very quickly, coming a step nearer. " I
beg your pardon."
To save her from farther embarrass
ment, I ask her at once for the next
dance; and it is immediately granted.
" By the bye, Miss Linton," I say,
when the dance is over, and we are
standing on the landing, " you have
never told me what you took me for.
" What, then?"
Her laughing eyes look up with their
old merry sparkle into my face. They
seem at the same time to question mo
whether 1 shall be annoyed if sho
speaks the truth. She pause for a mo
ment, and then says, " A waiter," and
presses her lips closely together.
" Thank you."
" But it was iiuite excusable,!' she be
" Thank you again," I
" You won't listen," she says,
tively. " I want to explain
" That I look so much like a waiter,
1 add. brcakim; m again, " that it was
quite excusable taking me for one."
" O. no : I didn't mean that, of
course," she says, forced to laugh. "But
where I was dining there was a waiter
like you so axactly like you," she
emphasizes the word " exactly," and
glances quickly up at me as she does
so, "and I mistook him for a gentle
man, and thought he was one of the
So you make up for it by taking me
for a waiter," 1 answer. " Well, I
think the waiter had the best of it."
" Bnt it was excusable, was it not,"
she asks, " you two being so much
" You mistaking the waiter for a
gentleman ? If he was like me, cer
tainly." " No," with a little stamp of her foot;
" my mistaking you for a waiter."
"I can't grant that," I answer.
" Very well," she says, with a laugh.
Then she adds mischievously over het
shoulder, as her partner comes for the
next dance: "I think my first mis
take was the more excusable of tha
" And I think the last by far the
worst," I reply.
" Do you ? Well, I am very sorry,",
she answers : but her eyes belie her as
she goes off laughing into the drawing
room. Fortunntely 1 secure the dance bee
fore supper, and take her down.
" You don't wait so well as your dou
ble," she says, as I hand her some mince
pies. I had just put them before her'
for a minute, and then taken them
away. I '
" I. am sorry for that," I answer
then, you see, I know you never
" How do you know that?" she asks;
turning round quickly.
" Your consm has told me a great deaj
about vmi " I rardv.
" Did he tell you, pray, that I never
eat mince-pies ?"
" How should I know, if he did not?"
1 say, with amazed simplicity.
She looks very incredulous. u Hj
didn't tell you that, I know; though
believe you men talk a jjreat deal a
nonsense : as much nonsense as women
" You own. that about woman, then.
and yet you want them to have seats ia
ParliarnentT' " "
" O now I am certain you must have;
been at Mr. Uomville s, she criee ; "for
I never said so until to-day at dinner.
and then only in opposition toy mv
neighbor. If you were not there, how
could you have known what I said ?"
" Do you believe in the theory, Mi
ljinton,- i oegin, with a grave iace,
a person knowing, by a sort of atnn
the thoughts and actions of an
person whom he has never seen,
whom, when is permitted to see, h
at once, bv fate, most deeply inte
"No, I don't," she replies, laughing.
"How nonsensical you are!"
Before 1 can go on expounding my
impromptu theory, Roche comes up and
claps me on the shoulder.
Well, Herbert, how s Crumms.?
Roche has often been to my rooms.
and knows my landlord, of course ; but
what demon possessed him to come at
this moment and pronounce that fatal
name, i can a imagine.
"Bravo! cries Miss L,mton, clapping
her hands. " Now I know ; you went
there with Crumms."
" Went where?" asks Roche in sur
To the Domvilles , she answers. "Mr.
Herbert was there with Crumms, wait
ing. Now, wern'tyou?" she asks, turn
ing to me.
So, driven up in a corner, at last I
make my confession.
What tun ! she says. " VV on t
laugh at mamma ! She read me such
lecture as I came here. And I have
not made a mistake, after all.'
" Except when vou took me for a
waiter, Miss Linton."
" O, that was your own fault. 1 am
not a bit sorry for that now."
What Miss J.inton did say to her
mamma, oi course l don t know, ii
she did laugh at her, Mrs. Linton must
have taken it very good-naturedly ; for
when I go up stairs, after supper, she
calls me " Mr. Waiter," and the name
sticks to me for the rest of the evening.
Just as we are all leaving, she comes to
me and invites me to a party at her
house on the following week.
" How shall I come, Miss ijinton : 1
ask, as I put on her cloak ; "as a waiter
or a guest?"
In the capacity you think suits you
the best," she answers. Then she adds,
more softly, "we snail be giaci to see
you in either."
There is a farther note in mv diary
for that Christmas clay something
about Miss Linton which, perhaps, it
ill be as well to let remain private.
But about two years afterward, and not
so very long ago, there was a weciuing
at Dumville's. Crumms was there to
wait, and Crumms' feelings had over-
lowered him, and required soothing.
From being usually calm, Crumms be
came unusually excited, and was with
difficulty prevented from solemnly
blessing the happy couple, and making
speech to the effect that the occa.-ion
was brought about by hiin taking the
bridegroom out waiting on a certain
The emigrants from Liverpool, du-ing
1S70, according to the report of the Gov
ernment agent at that port, amouite i
163,002 persons, ol whom ;&,i.
sailed in vessels under the control of
the Government, and 9,267 in vesels
not under Government supervision. Ut
these 153,735 emigrants, there were 71.',-
'J49 English, 4,621 Scotch, 12U,.yi Irish,
and 39,564 from the continent of r.u-
ope. The destinations of these emi
grants were as follows : To the United
States, 131,735; Canada, 19,984; Vic
toria, 1,298; Queensland, 013: Cape of
Good Hope, 79; New Brunswick, 27.
Of the 153,735, there were 13, i I cabin
and 1 39,964 steerage passengers, tne
vessels with emigrants aboard s.iiling
from Liverpool were 378 in number, of
which 326 were bound for the United
States. Of the 9,267 persons who sailed
in ships not under Government super
vision, there were 5,582 who came to the
United States. The emigration of 1870
shows an increase of 10,649 persons com
ing from England, and a decrease of
18,124 persons coming from the conti
nent of Europe.
An old bachelor savs : " It is all non-
nt7 7 "f'ffr'3Ii i . Z. ra it.. a
sense to pretena that love is niinu. i
never yet Knew a man in iove uisi um
not see twice as much in his sweetheart
as I could."
An Esthetic View of Swearing.
One of the young ladies in a Brook
Farm story in the Overland Monthly
" There is profane swearing where
the heart is filled with vindictive pas
sions with malice ; but most of the
swearing indulged in by young people
and uncultivated people is only so much
emphasis to back up their sentence?
with. It shows that those who indulge
in it are wanting in intelligent respect
for their own statements ; or are doubt
ful if they will be accepted as true by
those they address. I do not deny that
it is extremely bad taste, that it is vul
gar and disagreeable ; and yet a great
deal of informal swearing is indulged
in by the really reverent and kind
hearted." To which a sailor present responds :
" I am sure, Miss, it's not language
that's so wicked ; it's the way one feels
in the heart. I wa thinking all the
time vou were talking, of once when I
was out at sea leagues from land in the
I acafic, and we tell in with a water
logged ship, with nine starving men on
her. 1 hev begged to be taken on
board. Now, our captain was one of
your pious sort. Well, when the mate,
with his hands on the ropes ready to
lower the boat, heard the captain's
cold-blooded decision ' 1 ell them we
can't take them ; we have only provi
sions enough to take ourselves to port'
why, the mate swore an oath (I
should not dare to repeat it to you
Miss ; in a bad cause it were enough to
sink a ship), and wished that he might
be hung beside, at the yard-arm, it he
did not fetch these poor souls on board.
And down went the boat, in spite of the
captain, and on board they came ; and
we all arrived safe and sound in port.
Now, Miss, I ask you, who swore the
mate or the captain ?"
How Drunkenness is Produced.
A sudden mental emotion can send
too much blood to the brain ; or too
great mental excitement does the same
thing. It is the essential nature of all
wines and spirits to send an increased
amount of blood to the brain.
The first effect of taking a glass of
wine or stronger torm ot alconol is to
send the Wood there faster than com
mon ; hence it quickens the circulation;
that gives a red face t increases the
activity of the brain, arid it works
faster, and so does the tongue. But as
the blood goes to the brain faster than
common, it returns faster, and no spe
cial permanent harm results. But sup
posing a man keeps on drinking, the
blood is sent to ' the brain so much
faster, in such large quantities, that in
order to make room for it the arteries
have to enlarge themselves ; they in
crease in size, and in doing so press
against the more yielding flaccid veins,
which carry the blood from the brain,
and thus diminish their size, their
bores ; the result being, the blood is not
only carried to the arteries of the brain
faster than is natural or healthful, but
is prevented from leaving it as fast as
nwaal,; hence a double set of causes of
(teath are set in operation. Henee a
man may drink enough brandy or other
spirit in a few hours or even minutes to
bring on a fatal attack of apoplexy ; this
is literally being dead drunk. Halt &
Jovrnai of Health.
IowcrRANCE in Russia. The 8t. Pe
tersburg correspondent of the London
Athenaeum notices an article by M. Bo
brofsky, in the last number of the Rus
sian Military Magazine, on the ignorance
of the Russian army. The very small
proportion of the Russian peasants who
can read and write is evident from the
statistics kept in the War Office of the
recruits. In the three years from 1867
to 1869 the per centage of recruits able
to read and write, who entered the ser
vice, was 9 per cent., 9.5 per cent, and
per cent. In the Prussian army, of
recruits for 1866-7 the proportion
was 96.2 ier cent. If the proportion
among the Russian recruits is so small,
what must it be among the whole popu
lation, when the women are counted
in ? Since the Crimean war, however,
more pains have been taken to teach
the soldiers by regimental schools, and
in 18d6, of the whole army, tho propor
tion knowing reading and writing was
2f percent. ; in 1867, 25 per cent., and
1868, 28 per cent. These statistics
ire a little stretched, for many of the
soldiers counted could with difficulty
ui' lorst and the sense of the words they
laboriously spelled out. At presertt,
about one-fourth of the whole army oan
read ancl write. The greatest number
f illiterate soldiers is fonnd in the spe
cial arms and scientific corps, where
they constitute from one-third to one
half ; in the infantry (half of the whole
army) only one-fonrth can read and
write ; while in the cavalry and irregu
lar troops, the number varies from one-
fifth to one-seventh. 1 he success ot the
army school is worth remarking. The
army, which receives yearly from 50,000
90,000 illiterate recruits, has succeed
in the period from 1857 to 1867 in
teaching 160,000 to 180,000 soldiers;
that is, instructs yearly about one-fifth
the illiterate recruits.
Brigandage in Italy. The Naples
corresondent of the London Time
says : Brigandage, though nearly extinct,
contrives to raise its head in some dis
tricts, lut with less impunity than form
erly. Tims an engagement occurred a
few days since on the mountains of
Plauuiia between a band of brigands and
company of troops. The chief was
severely wounded, and one was killed
and his head brought into Triolo, and
two captives, who had been dragged
about for some time in the hope of a
ransom, were liberated. The Carbineers
have been equally sucessful in bringing
one of the brotherhood, who lately
committed an atrocious assassination
between (jragliago and Castellamare.
The country is thus being literally
beaten into order, and in all parts of
this province there is no comparison be
tween the present state of tranquuility
and that menacing, disturbed state
which existed but a few years since.
What is it that Christ requires of
men' It is not a dignified conformity
with his instructions, as with the in
structions of a teacher. This is mere
morality. It is not good-natured com
pliance with his wishes, as with the
wishes of a friend. That is pure scnti
mentalism. What he requires is obe
dience to his commands as to the com
mands of a master. That is Christiani
ty. Xot conformity not compliance
but obedience. Morality Christ rejects
when He says. He that loveth me not,
keepeth not my sayings. Conformity
his teachings, without personal love
to the Teacher, is not obedience. Sen
timentalism he rejects when he defines.
He that hath my commandments, and
keepeth them, he it is that-loveth me.
Obedrerrrsj. fx Christianity. Qalaiy,
BY A. E. D.
' said young Benjamin
"Those apples are
"There are bushels and bushels, and no one can
I'm sure from so many, 'tis not very wrong
To taVe just a few that lie under the tree.
" The farmer has irone to the village to-day.
And. if X take fifty, he never will know:
I'd Inst as soon ask. it 1 oaine in his way
Ile would give some to me, for he gave some to
Then foolish and wicked yonng Benjnmir Strong
Climbed up on the fence, but a nail caught his
He could not get freo. and he hung there so'Iona.
That the farmer discovered him after his fruit.
Finger Nails. BY NORMAN BRIDGE, M. D.
Everything was made for something.
and hnger nnils were made for scratch
ing. Yes, and for something else be
sides; they were made for protection to
the fingers, and to furnish the ends of
them more strength and solidity. Our
fingers can stub along better for having
these nails, and we can stub along
through life much easier for having such
stiff, stout back -splints at the tips of our
digits; tor having such weapons at our
But what concerns us most in this ar
tide is the anatomy and growth of the
nan. What is it made ot, and how does
it grow ? Some people some boys and
girls are so stupid as never to ask the
reason why and the how of anything
They always take things for granted
and if asked how the finger nail
formed they would say it grows, and
that is all.
I once knew a foolish young fellow to
bo, asked who made him, and he said
" Nobody, I grow'd I s'pose." Home
people imagine that all things simply
grow not low they grow.
Now the finger nail is made up of
nearly the same elements aa tho skin
it is much harder of course, and more
dense. So is a cheese more dense than
the soft curd from which it is made, but
they differ only in one being harder
than the other, and in having lost some
of the watery element that is a part of
1a. 1. . 1 1 . , - J " 1 1
us suusiance: tne sain ana nan uurer in
the same way.
It you take a piece of the hard part
ox the nail, no bigger than a speck,
and put it under a high-power micro
scope, you will discover that it is made
up of a multitude of little scales packed
together as closely as they can be matte
to he, and so farm and solid that they
give the horny character to tne nail.
They are laid flatwise with the surface,
and are squeeaed closely against each
other like the figs that oome to our mar
kets packed and pressed down in boxes.
Kxamine next, a part very near the bot
torn or under surface of the nail, and it
will be seen to have scales like t' e first,
but they are less flattened; in shape.
they more closely resemble the ngs re
ferred to. Go a little deeper and mag
nify a particle from near the bed of the
nail, and instead of scales you will find
little roundish bodies almost spherical,
but flattened in spots where they press
against each other : they are transiu
cent, if not transparent, and are softer
than the scales near the surface. These
little bodies are called cells. They are
so exceedingly small that it would take
1 5,000 laid side by side in a row to reach
investigations with the microscope
have demonstrated ttiat these cefls are
continually being manufactured at the
base of the nail, that is, beneath it, and
its root. They are continuing up from
the "quick," and each cell or layer of
full grown cells is lifted up on the backs
of those that are just forming. This is
necessary to make room tor the newer
bodies ; layer after layer of these cells
are created, each to be displaced by
those that come after it ; as soon as one
is formed it is pushed not aside, but
pushed upward to make room for others.
As the cells mount upward toward the
surface of the nail they become flattened
by degrees and grow harder : the farther
they get from the place of their birth
the more "crusty" they become. The
soft rounded cell of the "quick" be
comes after a while the hard substance
we put to a thousand uses, and scratch
The popular notion, then, that the
nail grows wholly from its root, from
the part next .the joint, is a mistaken
one. It is formed as well from the
whole surface beneath it: it grows from
both parts. Now, it is plain that if the
cells were continually growing and le
ing piled upon each other, there would
soon become a very thick heap, if they
were not removed. How, then, is the
nail prevented from becoming thick
and nnseemly ? Just in this wise : We
have said it grows both from its root
and beneutk its body ; while from its
uudersurface it is beingmade thicker by
its growth, the new nail subtftance that is
forming at the root keeps sliding it lit
tle by little forward toward the end of
the finger; hence it cannot become
thick ; it would if let alone, but it is
moved along and prevented. Any one
who fully understands this process will
readily see why the hard part of the nail
always thicker at tho end than far
back, toward the root.
But it seems that from the smooth
surface whence these cells originate,
there is not room enougnlVusjnany of
them to grow as tire needed. W
cells are young they are much larger
than when old ; they are rounded in
contour and contain more water. This
fact makes it absolutely necessary tliat
they liave more space to stand upon
and to grow from when young, than
they need later in life; pack them
never so tightly side by side, and you
cannot make enough of them grow
from a surface no larger than the nail,
so that when they become hard there
will not be too few.
See how beantiful is the provision of
nature for this need !
The principle is clear that in a hilly
country there are more square feet of
surface than in one that is level, just as
is farther over a mountain than it is
through it. Make a series of little
ridges on the ground, as tall as they are
thick, and so near that the gutters be
tween them are no wider than they, and
you have about double the area you had
to start with. Now, this is exactly what
occurs in the growing of the finger nail:
running lengthwise of it are a multi
tude of little ridges and ditches, hills
ancl valleys so small that when cut
across, you can with the naked eye only
just perceive them. On the whole of
this uneven surlace the little cells are
growing its thickly as they can he
placed, and nearly twice as many can be
accommodated as would lie possible
were the surface smooth.
As the cells are lifted up and ap
proach the serface they usually fall
into perfectly even layers, although on
the surface of the nail we often have
little ridges running lengthwise of the
finger. Look at yoqr own fingers and
These ridges, furthermore, add to the
strength of the nail : it can with more
difficulty he torn from its bed.
All these provisions and this arrange
ment for the growth of the nail, most
happily adapts it to our needs. The
nail is made always a little faster than,
with eood usage, we need to wear it off;
hence we may always have an abundant
supply : if destroyed bv accident it is
replaced in a few weeks or months, and
if its beauty is marred, unlike our noses
and ears, we have in a little while a
nice new and clean one to please us.
Verdict a Jury of Boys.
When Dr. Nathaniel Prentice taught
a public school in Roxbury, he was very
much of a favorite, but his patience at
times would get nearly exhausted by
the infraction of school rules by the
scholars. On one occasion, in a rather
wrathy way, he threatened to punish,
with six blows of a heavy ferule, the
hint boy detected in whispering, and
appointed some detectors. Shortly af
ter, one of these detectors shouted :
" Master, John Zeigler is whisper
ing." John was called up and asked if ft
was a fact. (John, by the way, was a
favorite, both of the teacher and his
" Yes," anwwereu John. " I was not
aware what I was about, I was intent
on working out a sum and requested
the one who sat next tot reaoh me the
arithmetic that contained the rule
which I wished to see."
The doctor regretted his hasty threat,
but told John lie could not suffer him
to whisper and escape the punishment,
and continued i
" I wish I could avoid it, but I cannot
without a forfeiture of my word, and a
consequent loss of my authority. I will
leave it," continued be, "to any three
scholars you may choose to say whether
or not I remit the punishment."
John said be would agree to that, and
immediately called out G. 8., T. D., D.
P. D. The doctor told them to return
a verdict ; this they soon'did, after con
sultation, as follows :
" The master's word must be kept in
violate John must receive the threat
ened punishment of six blows of the fa
rule ; but it must be inflicted on volun
teer proxies, and we, the arbitrators, will
share the punishment by receiving, each
of us, two of the blows."
John, who had listened to the ver
dict, steps up to the doctor, and with
outstretched hands exclaims
" Master, here is rav hand, they shan't
be struck a blow ; I will receive the
I he doctor, under pretence of wiping
his face, shielded his eyes, and, telling
the boys to go to their seats, said he
would think of it. I believe he did
think of it to his dying day, but the
punishment was never inflicted.
A Remarkable Instance of Canine Sagacity.
A correspondent in France save :
" Here again I met two or three wound
ed, but in a fair state of convalescence.
limping about slowly. One of these men
had a . little dog an iron-gray terrier,
unmistakably English following at his
heels, but only on three legs. ' If the
story the man told me is to be be
lieved, and for my part I have not the
l - M . . t . . , T .. . . .
siigniesi, nesiiauon in ine matter, his
manner of telling it was so simple and
earnest, -the dog had been the means,
under Providence, of saving his master's
life. He had been struck bv a ball in
the chest, near Ham, and lav on the
ground for six hours when the fighting
was over. He had not lost conscious
ness, but the blood was flowing freelv.
and he was gradually getting weaker
and weaker. There was none bat the
dead near him, and his only living com
panion was the English terrier, 'who
prowled restlessly about him, with his
master's kepi in his mouth. At last the
dog set off at a trot, and the wounded
soldier made sure his only friend had
deserted him. The night grew dark,
the cold was' intense, and He had not
even the strength to touch his wounds,
which every instant grew more and
more painful. At length his limbs
grew cold, and, feeling a sickening faint
ness steal upon him, he gave up all hope
of life, and recommended himself to
od. Suddenly, and when it had come
to the worst, be hard a hark, which be
knew belonged to only one litis dog in
the world, felt something lick his face,
and saw the glare of lanterns. The
had wandered for miles till he arriv
at a roadside caberel. The people had
heard the cannonading all day, and see
ing tbc kepi in the dog's mouth, and
noticing his restless movements, decided
to follow him. He took them straight
to tie - saot too straight for a little cart
they had brought with them, to erase
fields and hedges, hut just in time.
When the friendly help arrived, ths
man fainted, but he was saved. There
were honest tears in the man's eyes
when he was telling me, and I fully be
lieved him. The dog, too, had been
slightly touched in the leg by a ball in
the same battle, and had since been
lame. He got him, when a puppy, from
an English sailor at Dunkirk, and called
him ' Beel ;' very probably the French
lar old man
was lately burned
111., in a cave where he had lived thirtv
eight years. His name was Ira Mills,
and he had once been a clergyman, but
for some reason best known to himself
he had retired from the world to medi
tate upon five old coffee ots, seven lan
terns, three axes, skillets, pans, hoes,
scythes, horse-shoes, nails, hammers,
and scraps of old iron, with which he
decorated his cave, which lay at the top
of a hill near the lovely village of Utioa.
He was a great reader of tbe Bible, and
took remarkable views of human life
and transactions. He was a miser, and
gave one of the most remarkable reas
ons on record for not collecting $1,0X)
that were due to him. He said he was
afraid to collect them, as he might re
ceive counterfeit money. It is thought
that he had secreted a good deal of
money somewhere in the neighborhood
of his cave, and of course the people of
Utica will search as diligently and fu
tilcly for it as ever man searched for
Captain Kidd's treasures. He was burned
in the seventy-sixth year of his age,
and died lamented by nolody who knew
A Louisville paper, after consulting
its exchanges, tells what it knows of
Olive Logan, as follows : She is " a wit
ty Irishman" in Philadelphia : " The
descendant of an Indian chief," " a
native of Philadelphia,'' " an Knglish
woman with French manners.' and
" General John A. lagan's cousin in
New York i born "In klmira." in -Columbus,
Ohio; " lion, .loha A. Los,ana
sister" in Washington, and " ao nelay
lion to .John A. Logan" in Uliuoi.
Who luu it $15,000 die-
Sn gr.spi: -. nk s birthday
eorreesede J Jl
April '13, error
Riverend Mb. Hasine
mortgaged t- an heiress.
Sionob Blitz's new book li
called "ifty Yeani in the
Kooi-M ANSCHOOP IS B
A rises of poetry, written
Last, is J u hlished in
with the reeommen
added to the " Lay
( of the I ,
s trek. .
SvrKBijfTaifDEXT BadocsJ oTtWNew
Orleans police force,1 las' rjssMs)al the
closing of all " lottery" nr-uhmmmlH-''
games. Recently too manyl strangers
nave been introduced to l theatnen
PsorrssoR John Wimidhak, ibf Dart
mouth College, who has been for some
time in Florida, has returned home
much improved in health, and resumed
the discharge of his duties, J
No one questions i'larwin'x right to de
monstrate that his great-grandmother
was a baboon, but we sahmrt whether it
is not rather personal to claim all the
rest of tbe world as her blood relations.
Ths late Robert Barnes, of Rvansville,
Ind.. bequeathed his entire estate of
$400,000 to $000,000, without the reserva
tion of a cent, for the purpose of pro
viding tor ana educating tne rietmt.ut
orphans of Indians. a
Okk. frorr, corn poser ot the Hqtwian
National Hymn, died on the 2wh of
December last, at bis estate in the aov-
ernment of KovnO. As aaacoaranushed
amateur of music, ha was spoken of
by Mendelsshon and Schumann in
highly complimentary terms.
Mowcrae O. Oowway, the well-known
American litterateur, preaches two radical
sermons every Sunday In Iondon in
chapels three) miles apart, it is said
that some ol the most cultivated men
in the British metropolis are among his
Tmm Hev W. J. Clarke, formerly edi
tor of tbe Liberal ('hrittian, will be asso
ciated with Mr. Tllton In the oanduct of
the GcUm Aae. The paper will be a
trifle smaller than the CongrmitviiuiUtt,
but of the same shape; independent,
progressive, " devoted U the .Beat in the
spirit of the Best."
Mr. John I, ark in. the T. If. -It. R. en-
gmeer. aftot at M or ley. Mo., by nan.
on Sunday, tbe th nit., died at the
Sisters' Hospital, St. LouM,Jai Thurs
day. A post mortem examination re
vealed tbe presence of the fatal ball in
the heart of Lark in, where It had been
lodged for four days betere death en
Gsomoi Cri'ikshamk. the artist, has
written a letter, in which he olainis
that tbe story of " Oliver Twist" was",
entirely his own idea and suggestion,
and that he originated all the' charac
ters in that work. As Mr. Cruikshsnit-
did not see fit to assert those claims'
during the lifetime ef Dickens, perhaps
would have been quite as wail u ua .
J 1 , J . J .
bad neglected to do so at all
Dr. Francis Vintos, of " Ti mm
Church, New York, writes to President
Grant announcing fresh reasons for t he
annexation of San Domingo. He thisjh
the island would be an exc llent arH
turium, tbe idea being occasioned by.'a
visit to Nassau, W. r., where he found
all the American residents Ismgistfof
resort on American soil in the Wsssai
Indies for the benefit of invalids.
Fl'skli, the painter, had a KJVm dis
like to the species of eo.HWsation
known as " tattle." Ouoerwhsa ajaH
in his room among some Mining SBS,
tors who were linnssf inft 'the ssveatber
and such like interesting subjects, he
burst forth with a" We had pork for
dinner to-day I" " Dear ! sir. i Fuseli,
what an odd remark !" axolaitned
one. " Why," replied he, "it's as good
as anything you've been sayinf'fttr the
Tin Jiketai Okriwian gives us this
scription of Elder Jacob Knapp
of Elder Jacob Knapp. the
celebrated rev ivalisl : " He Is a well
preserved old gentleman, ttsyugh he has
endured much hardship for the' Lord's
sake. His hah and beard1 'are as white
as snow ; but his face is red, his goice is
clear, and he is good for many years
yet of tnssels with the Prtiwe of Tark
noes, it is interesting to listen to an
evangelist who can tell of hell as confi
rlenfly as if he had Jbeen barn and
brought up within it limits, aud speak
the devil as naturally snd familiarly
if he were an old acrptaintanoB. The
tone of tbe Elder's voioe, and . the quiet
his eyes, as he unrolls his panorama
and illustrate- the atawlllha theme,
quite sabdaic the otherwise alarming
Km a, .asl
A curious mistake took place one;
morning last week in the ringing of the
bells af the Catholic churches at Zanee
ville. Ohio. As is well known, says a
local paper, the bells of tbeae churches
are rung every morning at six o'clock,
and so punctually is it performed, that
they answer tbe purpose of a dock to
families and persons residing within
hearing. Oh the morning in question
the seoctotvef JSt. Thomas Church, who
an old man, either deceived by his
cloak or mistaking the hands of the
dial, rang his ball at tbe hour of three
o'clock in the morning, three hours be
fore the usnal f ilne. Tbe hud I
eajs of the bell rang out and trembled
away, caught tbe ear of many a sleeper
and waked them from their slumbers.
Among these was the sexton of St.
Nicholas Church, who hurriedly rushed
the bell ropes, and soon tbe chimes
from tbe belfry of that church rang out
into the stilly night. Breakfsst was
hurriedly prepared in different sperts of
the city, and workmen in several in
stances started to the streets on their
way to the scene of their daily toil.
Clocks, in the greater number of m
stances where mistakes oecurred, cor-
Thousands or Wnj Ducks Kili.rd hv
Whirlwind in HattMss Inlkt.
Cant. Harris, of the acboonar C. A.
Johnson, was obliged to put into Hatte
ras Inlet, and there remained wind
bound with many other coasters. The
surface of the water was covered with
myriads of wild ducks,whnse datoordant
ories could be heard at a great distance.
One day a wind arose, wntch moved
with great velocity in a circular direc
tion, but was confined to the Inlet. The
wild fowl were seised by it, their necks
were twisted, and their legs and wings
broken. Thousands in a dying condi
tion were in a few minutes strewn on
the water. As soon as the whirlwind
had subsided boats were put out and
the victims were secured. A steamer,
passing on her way to New York sent ,
out its boats and shared in tbe spoils.
I s 1868 tho
husband of Mary Camix
assassinated by dis-
euised men about ten miles east
Huntsville, Ala. She has now brought
suit against Madison county Lest
spring HV. B. K. Thompson, well
known ertfsen, wax killed by disguised
men at his residence sbout nine linlna
north of Huntsville, and Mrs. Kate D.
Thompson now sues the county. Un
der tbc law. declared cimsjUilional by
the Supreme Court, not less than $5,00U
must-be awarded' m sisch ease, if tbe
proof is that the killing was .'one by
disguised men to be aid by tit OSaRs
ly out of treasury. -
o"Jf Jii si ii.u'nyk y