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Weekly De MOGRAT. I. G. GOTJLDjPublisher.. r; ,- ' - " - v ..,,.: Devoted to the Interest of the Democratic Party,, and the Collection of Local and General News. ' . Two Dollars per Annum, in Adyance, VOL. V.-NO. 44. - - EATON, OHIO, THURSDAY, AUGUST 8, 1872. WHOLE NUMBER 276. The Bride's Story. When I was but a country lass, now fifteen years ago, I lired where flows the Overprock through mead ows wide and low ; There first, when skies were bending bine and blossoms Blowing free. I saw the ragged little boy who went to school with me. - , . Ilia homespun coat was frayed and worn, with patches covered o'er. III. bat ah, such a hat as that was never seen before. The boys and girls, when first he came, they shouted in their glee. And jeered the ragged little boy who went to school with me. His father was a laboring man, and mine was highly born ; Our people held both him and his in great con tempt and scorn They said I should not stoop to own a playmate such as he. The bright-eyed, ragged little boy who wont to school with me. - Yet spite of all the sneers around from children better drest, ' My heart went out to meet the heart that beat within bis breast. His look was fond, his voice was low, and strange as it may be, X loved the ragged little boy who went to school m with me. "Tor years they had forgotten him, bat when again we met, -His looks, his voice, his gentle ways remained in memory yet: They saw alone the man of mark, but I eould only see The bright-eyed, ragged little boy who went to school with me. He had remembered me, it seemed, as I remem bered him : Nor time, nor honors, in his mind the cherished past could dim; Young love had grown to .older love, and so to day you see I wed the ragged little boy that went to school with me. THE OLD, OLD STORY. Tight Boots and Other Troubles Too Much Tight Boots and Other Troubles Too Much for Him-A Fragment of a History. From the Cleveland Plaindealer. from a daily journal were found by our reporter upon the banks of the canal a few nights since, together, with a pair of fine boots that had circular openings cut in the leather over the spot where the toes would naturally come when the bco's were worn. The fragments of a diary, and the mutilated boots, contain a his tey of human, agony, both mental and physical, that, though not rare, seldom finds its way into print, and for that reason we give the portions of the diary publicity, trusting that they will thrill responsive chord in ! some anguish racked heart now suffering in silence. As to the mystery which surrounds the Author of the journal, and the former wearer of the boots, who shall attempt to fathom it ? He sleeps perchance be neath the waters of the canal, unmind ful of the wealth-laden galleons of trade that pass and repass over him. He heeds not the proud ship laden with hoop poles as she careens before the gale that strikes her in the stern and forces her ahead ; nor the curses of her commander at the mule for allowing slack rope to accumulate on his heels. It may be the long-suffering victim took passage on board one of the vessels that the main between Cleveland and Akron, and in a distant clime seeks the quiet he was apparently denied at home. It is not our province as a reporter to seek to fathom this mystery ; our business is with facts, and with these introductory remarks we give (suppressing dates and real names) THE DIARY OF AN UNHAPPY MAN. In my own house at last; built to suit my wife, with three closets to each room, back stairs leading to the servant's apartments, a verandah on two sides, and four bay windows, what drawback can there be to my future happiness ? No more rent to pay no grumbling landlords. 1 can cut a stovepipe hole where I choose, and kick refractory doors into shape without reproof or charges. There are few young men bo happily situated as I am with a wife, two sets of twins, a four year old boy. a coach dog, an old cat and nine kittens, to say nothing of a good salary at old Grinder's, with an occasional ''per quisite" when I am in charge of the money drawer during the cashier's ab sence, Providence has indeed snickered right out on me.' Went home an hour earlier than usual to-day, because my new boots hurt-me, and it was well that I did, for I found Angeline crying and a big side whiskered chap standing over her with a pen in his hand trying to make her subscribe for "The Poets of the World," to be completed in four hundred num bers, if possible, to come in monthly parti, payable when delivered. He had already taken her note for thirty days for a Map of Ohio, (issue of 1812), a copy of Horace Greeley's Life of Fisk," and a full set of " Noodle's Dime Ro mances," library size. He had almost convinced her to subscribe to the "Poeti" as I entered. Yo will never feel it to pay for them by the month," said. he. Here I abruptly placed the toe of my shoe (which was built for civil war) against him,and he concluded to call soiue other time. - More trouble again to-day. Went home and found four gentlemanly look ing men seated in the. parlor, who has called "on business of the utmost im-, portance," as they said, and Angeline had invited them to dinner, supposing them to be acquaintances of mine. Al ter dinner each one called me aside at different times, and asked me if my life was insured, at the same time stuffing my pockets full of circulars, pamphlets and figures relating to their respective companies. I smiled at their eagerness and said I would see them again. They pressed my hand warmly and said, " I doubtless would unless death inter vened." I must insure though, and one company is just as good as another. Had an interesting time this morning the four- year old boy swallowed the stove-lifter, at least he said he did, and it's missing, and I remained at home so long standing him on his head, and swinging him by the heels to get the missing article out of him, that I was late at the store, ana received a repri mand from the "old man," who said must not let that thing occur again Whether he meant the tardiness or stove-lifter affair is more than I know. P. S. The lifter wa3 found in the stove to-night with the handle burn ed off. AVife and I were awakened before sun rise this morning by a loud ringing of the door bell. Thinking there had been some accident or sickness at . one of the neighbors, I arose, and without stop ping to dress, hastened to the door and opened it, only to confront a tall and and thin breasted .female in spectacle, who was getting up a club for the New York Slasher. Forgetting the abbrevia ted condition of my apparel, I said "certainly, madam, I will subscribe, step in ;" but just at that moment she caught a fair view of me, and yelled ""police 1" at the same time catching her foot in the door-scraper and falling backward down seven steps, screaming murder and police at every breath, and with her satchel and its contents strewn around her. I slammed the door, ran and jumped into the bed so suddenly that my wife, who had dropped ofl to sleep after the first alarm, awoke and joined her screams to those outside. 1 finally quieted - her by stuffing a pillow in her mouth, but the children here set in with their yells, a two hundred pound policeman broke the front door in, and, and but why continue the tale of my woe. Everything has been more quiet to day, and I would be perfectly happy if those boots I am trying to break in were two sizes larger ; but then Longfellow says "Into each life some rain must lali." Angeline says she found the cards of six sewing machine agents shoved in under the front door upon her return from a neighbors to day. I hDpe these industrious members of so ciety do not contemplate a raid on me at present. I have promised Angeline a first-class machine as soon as I can get around to it, but that will not be for a month yet. If things keep on in this way I shall be compelled to .leave Cleveland and move out into the wilderness. The peo ple are too sociable and business men too energetic for me. The four insur ance agents, a patent fence and wash tub man, and six lightning rod men, called at the store to-day to see about insuring, fencing, wash tubbing and rodding me into a state of happiness and comfort. Mr. Grinder, my em ployer, Baid to me, " You must not have your mends visit you during DusineBs hours, Jones," which made me so vexed, I said To-dav everything ran like clockwork until I arrived at home, when I found a team of -dashing horses hitched to a couple of dwarf pear trees in the front yard, and a bright red wagon filled with ladders and things stood in the middle of a bed of fuchias and geraniums, a bull dog of the yellow variety and with teeth like a cross-cut saw, smiled at me from the door step, while two men upon the roof were busy tearing off shingles and driving hooks into the chimney. I made a careful detour and entered my house to find a' black whiskered chap, Bmelling strongly of patchouly, leaning lovingly over Angelina's shoulder, while she was engaged in practicing on a sewing machine. ' What in the name of all that is cheeky does this mean ?" said 1. " Ah 1" replied old Patchouly, with a leer at my wife, " your husband, I presume. The fact is sir, your wife (a devilish fine woman by the way) has decided to purchase one of our double treadle reversible needle warranted not to rip ravel nor run down at the heel sewing machines." But I forbear why repeat what followed ? My entry in this journal to-day will be brief but to the point. I am wearing a saddlerock oyster over my eye. An gelina is in tears and in bed with a strong odor of camphor about her per son. But no " back action double treadle" sewing machine decks my house, and were it not for the trampled condition of my flower bed and a few displaced shingles on the roof, one would never dream that two able-bodied lightning rod men had attempted to go through me yesterday. . I must organ ize for war, however, "on the Prussian plan. Peace exists in our household once more. I have pacified Angelina on the sewing machine question, and we have formed an allegiance for offensive pur poses against all enemies to our peaceful home and its happiness. A "small pox" sign kept the "agents" away for two davs. but the milkman and postman also forsook us, and we were forced to take it down. Since then, by keeping the doors doubly locked and using a system of countersigns and rapj when members of the family desired ingress or egress, the obtrusive visitors were kept at bay. How little I thought, as I finished the entry in my journal yesterdav, that in stead of seeing the last of my troubles, they had not fairly commenced. Upon arising yesterday mornin? l lound a benevolent-looking middle-aged gentle man sitting in my library chair reading my morning paper. " How did you get in this house ?" I exclaimed. " Excuse me," he replied, " i borrowed a ladder and ascended to your chamber window at daylight this morning, so as to be on hand and show to you one ot the most perfect lightning rods ever made." Here he unscrewed the cane he carried and out dropped two sections of " conduc tor." 1 pulled my "pepper-box" on him here and he left by way of a win dow. I then ordered the blacksmith to place iron bars before the windows, My little boy awakened me this morn ing by exclaiming, " Uh, papa, come here to the window, there is a circus out here, and 1 want to see the elephant." 1 did as requested, but what mvenile in nocence had mistaken for a " show " was about a score of lightning rod wagons, with the horses hitched to my newly-painted picket-fence. Reclining on my green and grassy lawn were forty-three lightning rod men, each with a sample ot. his wares in one hand, and a tight-note in the other for the unlucky victim to sign it- he could not pay cash. While I was thinking what to do up drove seven sewing ma chine men, each with a machine strapped in the hind ot his wagon, and which they commenced to unload shortly after coming to a halt. A scuffling sound emanated from the hre-place the parlor at this juncture, ana upon investigation, 1 lound a lite insurance man tightly wedged in the opening; head downward. 1 did not go to my place of business to-day not a member of my family stirred out of the house and now, at 10 o'clock p. m.. I hear the crowd outside, and know that it has not diminished. This is the second day of the siege. The crowd of " agents " that have camped out on my premises has been increased by the accession of a few Bos ton drummers, who have nothing else to do, and have joined the besiegers. My little boy cried so to go out and play, that I cautiously let him out the back door this morning, but a minute or two later he came crashing through the window with sample pieces of lightning rod in each hand, and a sewing machine poster pasted on the seat ot his little trowsers. This is getting unendurable. Three days in my house, and most out of food. The letter carrier shoved a note from my employer through the keyhole this morning, which informed me I had been discharged for shirking work and going to picnic. I only smiled a sardonic smile as I read it. The twins clamored for milk last night, and I slipped out in the darkness to milk the cow. I found a sewing machine man tacking his cards on her ribs, her tail had been pricked and decked, and a lightning rod with a silver point ex tended along its surface. She was as dry as a powder horn, and in returning to the house I had to run the gauntlet of a dozen insurance men, and barely escaped with my life. X can t stand this much, longer. My wife says she always knew she made a mistake marrying me. To-night I will end this miserable existence." If I could only go out West and buy a farm, but even then I would soon be swept by the invading hordes of agents into the Pacific. .. Pear mother, I am coming home to eat. - Your unhappy son can't stand the pres sure, io-night the canal shall close over me. I will wear my tight ' boots a few hours and death will have no ter rors farewell we may be happy yet, you bet .w Here closed the journal of the unfor tunate man. How manv are there who will fail to weep at his life's sad ending.? - . . . A Tumbler of Toddy in the Scottish Highlands. In the " Monthly Gossip' of Lippin- eotCs we find the . following Highland sketch : ' ' The. sound of the bagpipe in a parlor is not heerlul. it has, in laot, the same ettect upon a sensitive ear that the badly-executed music of a church choir has upon a musical bloodhound, and suggests pigs ; but to hear its wild notes reverberating among, these High land hills on a beautiful summer morn ing has a charm at once wild and musi cal. We were awoke on this particular mprning by the music of a " hundred pipere an' a' an' a'," and the lusty voice of " mine host of ze Garterre" calling out at our chamber door, " Six o'clock, gentlemen. I've brought your morn ing.' " Now this " morning" is quite an institution. In Virginia it would be a mint-julep, in Maine a gin cocktail ; west of- the Clyde, it consists ot a small glass, a black bottle, and a "wee drap" of the real Glenlivat. ' As a panacea for all ills this extract of the mountain rises far above ." Radway's Keady Jtteliet " or " Hetmbold's Extract of Buchu." You can tak' a dram in the morning just to clear the cobwebs : when you are cold you can tak a dram; when warm a tootatu will get you cool ; when you sit down to dinner a dram will give you an appetite, and when you rise therefrom a "snifter" will aid diges tion. -But as the old Scotch divine said at the close of his peroration, " Ye're no to be aye dram-drammin'." When lively, however, there's nothing like a tumbler of toddy ; when dull it's just the thing to "kittle up your notion.'.' In Bhort, it is a cure for everything, ex cepting, perhaps, atrophy of the purse. A Congressional Township. A Congressional township is a tract of land six miles square, containing 36 square miles or sections ot land, num bered from 1 to 36, as per accompany ing diagram : 2 10 11 12 18 17 16 15 14 13 19 20 21 22 23 24 30 29 28 .27 26 25 31 32 33 34 35 36 It is so called because surveyed in this manner by direction of an act of Congress, lhe sections are subdivided into halves and quarters, so t'aat a per son may very easily describe his farm by saying that he owns the N. E. quar ter of sec. 6, etc., as the case may be, each quarter ot a tull section containing 160 acres mst the amount allowed to each soldier tor a homestead. The Iron Gates of the Danube. Science, it seems, is soon to unbar the so-called "iron gates" ot the Danube and which for ages have been consider ed insurmountable obstacles to the nav igation of the river. - Strange, too, as it may appear, the engineer who is to un lock these gates is an American, Mr. McAlpine, formerly connected with the old Galena and Chicago railroad and the water works of this city. These " iron gates" is a narrow pass through which passengers and merchandise must be transferred toother ships ; con sequently, as but small steamers can navigate through it, trade is greatly ob structed, and the commerce of the Danube languishes. For some time ne gotiations have been going on between the Austrian and lurkish governments Tub statistics of the small-pox hospi tal at Hampstead, near London, show that successful revaccination after the age of fifteen years is an almost certain protection against small-pox. Cases are rarer than even second small' pox, and very mild when they do occur. Treatment of Hired Help. intelligent correspondent of the Utica Herald gives the following sketch of a successful farmer and his manner of managing his hired help : "SUIT. John fcmith, ot Minden, Mont gomery county, N. Y., is our best farm er, and entirely prosperous prosper ous in all years, independent of the season ; this on account of the thorough preparation and treatment of his land, drainage, deep culture and sod. He de pends upon sod ' tor manure, and the manure proper that is made is applied on his meadows, thus growing sod and at the same time reaping the benefit of the manure. In this way he has accu mulated a fortune. But be extends his system of care and treatment to every thing. He is one of the few men who are not afraid to keep hired help, even in' the present hard times, when so much complaint is being made. He has two or three hired men constantly em ployed besides himself and son. He says the more help - he can find use for the more bene 6 1 ; and no one is more careful in estimating the gains and losses. He has good hands, trusty and ntelligent, and pays good wages; treats them well. But he directs them ; this is the main secret. Each one does the work suited to him. and does it at the right time, w"hich in the min is a little in advance ot the usual time, and be does only work that is necessary and pays. Ihere is nothing done tor-nothing; nothing that needs repeating, or work thrown away. These men are a machine to use where needed, and they are kept in order by proper treatment and en couragement, and yet they area sort of family together, all working for the com mon good. - There is such- a variety of work that no one is ever idle; he will not have a lazy man or mean man on bis premises, nor a sloven. Thus the whole work is carried on orderly and successfully. By excluding unsuccessful work, he encourages true labor. This should be done by every farmer. Let it be under stood that only good, intelligent work commands employment, and there will be an improvement at once, .the real shirkers will be crowded but, ' the non- profitable will drop-from the lists. An honest laborer will see that he earns his wages. Jimploy him ; employ only such. You are sale then with a proht." Seeding Grasses. Mr. Chas. L. Flint, the well ' known writer on grasses, advocates their seed ing alone, and generally late in sum mer or fall, and asserts : 1. That early tall seeding withont grain should be adopted in practice in preference to seeding in spring. 2. That, as a general rule, it is poor economy to take any grain crop either with or immediately preceding the seeding down to grass. lhat the crass being the ultimate and paying crop, it is bad practice to reduce the land by the draft which a grain' crop makes upon iur A. That wherever, irom any local reason, it Decomes desirable to take a crop of spring grain, it is more economical to sow the grain alone in the spring, and to plow up the stubble and sow the grass seed alene in the early Jail. 4 lhat in cases where it seems desirable to sow grass seed in spring, it is better to sow it. alone and let it take its chances, without' compelling it to struggle tor existence under the disad vantages of a grain or any other csop. lhat m seeding down in August or early in September, we are following naturti as to time, and . that unless the ground is already rich and in high con dition, it is necessary to give the seed the beneSt of an application of manure on or near the surface to which the seed is applied.. 6.: That far the 'selection of seed for mowing lots and hay. we should choose varieties to mix that .blossom at or nearly at the same time, and not mix very early ' and very late varieties to gether. : m . - Oxen. A correspondent of the Germantown Telegraph gives, among other reasons why oxen should be used on the farm in place of horses, the following " Many small farmers try to plow their land with one horse ; a - tew inches in depth is all the soil is moved ; a hand ful of manure is all that is appropriated where there might and should be bushel ; the selection ot crops made with but little care'; the cultivation of same is done at a great expense for want of exprimental knowledge and being prejudiced against taking advice of successful farmers. On the majority of farms in my immediate vicinity more than a third ot the. expense is worse than wasted. A pair of oxen will plow a3 much-in a day and follow, it as a pair ot horses, and the cost is but titty per cent, of horses. The work is done bet ter than it can be with horses. A boy of fourteen can handle the oxen and plow with more easel and pleasure than a man can with his span of horses." ' Domestic Receipts. ears corn and one tablespoonful of flour, and two eggs ; pepper and salt to your taste ; to be mtd like oysters. Iodine and Boils. As soon as a boil be comes hard and inflamed paint it with iodine, lhe poison will not be scat tered, but will be absorbed by it. Smoky Lamps. To prevent the smok ing of a lamp, soak the wick in strong vinegar, and dry it well before you use it ; it will then - burn bright and clear, and amply repay you for the trifling labor. How to Make Pudding Quick. Split lew crackers, lay the surface over with raisins, and place the halves together again ; tie them closely in a cloth, and boil hi teen minutes in milk and water, With a rich sauce it is elegant. Mouth Glue. Dissolve one-half pound of gelatine or fine glue in water, and add one quarter of a pound of brown sugar ; boil the whole until sufficientlv thick to become solid on cooling ; pour it on a slab slightly greased, and when cool cut it into the required snapc. " Tomato Custard. Thij ,is said to be beneficial diet for consumptives. . It is made by straining finely stewed toma toes through a coarse sieve, and adding two pints ot milk ana one pint ot toma toes, four eggs and one teaspoonful of sugar, .cake 1 1 small cups quickly. Sugar for Glazing Cakes. Put into a vessel with a little water, the white of one egg well beaten, and stirred well into the water; let it boil, and while boiling, throw in a few drops of cold water. Then stir in a cup of pounded sugar. This must boil to a foam, then be used.' -This makes a beautiful glazing for cakes. Tooth Wash. Dissolve two ounces of borax in three pints of water; before quite cold add one teaspoonful of tinc ture of myrrh and one tablespoonful of pints of camphor : bottle tor use. A wineglassful of the solution . added to a halt pint ot tepid water is sumcient tor each application. Tbis solution applied regularly preserves and beautifies the teeth, arrests decay, and induces a healthy action of the gums. - A Famous Scotch Dish. Cut' up fresh codfish in pieces four inches square ; lay them on the bottom ot the pan, then a layer of cut potatoes, and so continue alternate layers, cooking enough for the family. An ordinary sized onion sliced, and a lump of fresh butter, ought to be placed between each layer, .finish with layer of butter crackers, or toasted stale bread cover with water, and stew about twenty minutes ; season with salt Artificial Cuba Honey. Ten pounds of good brown sugar, one quart of water', two poundr of old bee bread honey in the comb, one teaspoontui ot cream oi tartar, one ounce of gum arabic, three drops ot oil ot peppermint, and two drops of oil of rose. . Mix well and boil two or three minutes. Have ready one quart more of water" in which an egg is put well beat up, pour it in, and as it begins to boil skim well, remove from the fire, and when a little cool add two pounds ot nice bees' honey., and strain, this is really a nice article, looking and tasting like Horse Notes. A valuable trotting horse, while being exercised on the track of the Catskill (N.,Y.) Agricultural Society, last week, hied against the lence, running a splinter in his breast, and causing death almost instantly. The Turf, Field and Farm says : '. " Joe Elliot's performance (2:15i) at Boston is not technically a record ; but then it is an absolute fact." The horse which Gen. D. C. Buell rode during his military service in the late war, died a few. weeks since,at Paradise, on Green river, Ky. . We are not sur prised to learn that the General was greatly grieved over the loss of the ani mal, and that he had him buried with honors, for the horse had been faithful to him in the days ot peril, and had bravely met the fierce shock of battle. Mr. Bcdd Doble has had a palace car constructed for the transportation of his famous trotters, Goldsmith Maid and Lucy. It has four stalls, the sides of which are thickly padded with hair, covered with enameled cloth. The car is provided with every convenience for man and beast. . - John . Harper and ' his trainer still vehemently . declare that Longfellow shall never run again ; but prominent horsemen around the Saratoga track predict that, in spite of old John Har per's asseverations, the brave horse will be Hying around the circle again oeiore long. Mr. Wh. Hendrickson, of San Fran cisco, has sold his fine trotting gelding, James D. McMann, well-known former ly as Shoo Fly, to C. W. Phillips, of Delavan. W is. Yice paid. b,uuu The new stables built tor the use ot the President at Washington are de scribed by Donn Piatt as imperial. The structure is handsome, of pressed brick, and "resembles the residence of some village merchant or banker.". The building has a front ot eighty leet, is two stories' high, and has a Mansard roof, all being " finished with admira ble taste." A correspondent of the Turf, Field and Farm says of Longfellow : "I am inclined to the opinion that he has not broken down entirely. He possesses a world of stamina, and, with proper care and skillful treatment, may be brought around, and perhaps be able to race again. Should all efforts to restore him fail, he will be placed in the stud, where his services will be in great de mand." How the Ladies Do It. a vou ever a dressed in clean muslin, overhung with all sorts of colored scraps, apparently culled from the rag-bag, walking along the sunnv side of the street, looking as impassively cool and fresh as if if were May instead ,ol August? -There is no unusual flush upon her cheeks ; no dew beads glistening on her lair brow; her lavender gloves are. as tresh as when they were taken irom the periume case even her- eyes are calm ana unmovea The starch on her laces shows no sign of limpness ; she moves along as quietly, and apparently as happy, as if there were no thermometers in the woriu. She is only a fresh rose after the sun has kissed off the dew. As you pass her there is a sense of coolness in the very the faint perfume of her presence is as fresh and refrigerating as the odor ot a past ripe canteleoe. ' How does she do it? Men cannot. .Even the uanaies give way to the heats of August. Their shirt collars are wilted ; their faces have a fevered glow ; they look oppressed and wearied ; even their cleanly wasnea linen coat have a " mussed up" air, for the careless fellows, they just wiltingly along the street ; they give up ; they wear no vests; tneir sunt, cm lars 'are unbuttoned : their wristbands are rolled uo and very damp : they look altogether unkemst and flaccid,' as they would say to every passer-by,' " It deuced hot, and l don t care now look." Now, what makes the difference How do the women do it ? The city of Chelsea, Mass.,. is full beautiful shade trees, which it owes to " tree society," that existed for many vears in its early history ; and now, it said, these 'trees are continually haunted by birds which not oniy lumisnaeugut I'll melodv. butdevour annoying insects id cheer the people with their lively presence. Young cities, especially the recently settled parts of thecountry would do well to take a lesson from Chel sea in this matter. Gus Finds an Economical Girl. CONGRESS HALL, SARATOGA, July 22. My old statistician says there are just tour ot those be lutitul sage green dresses in Saratoga. Ihree, he says, are worn by very Btylish young ladies, and one is worn by an old lady who has no busi ness to be wearing it. Every time he sees one of those beautiful dresses he goes into an easy ecstacy of delight. He' rubs his hands and says, " There comes the agony of Paris $400, if it's cent I" When we look up it is a sage green. Yesterday one of the beautiful 'young ladies who wears a sage green took a ride over to the lake with my friend Gus. Gus has got good blood in him, ut he isn't very "stampy." He always takes to expensive girto, and after get- ng interested in them they talk such expensive talk about camels hair, vel vet suits, and trips to Europe, that poor Gus gets frightened off. , He comes up in my room and says he don't believe there is a girl in new York who don't cost her father $3,000 a year just for nice clothes. Then he buries his face in hiB hands and savs, " O dear, there no chance for a poor fellow on 5,000 year 1" Yesterday Gus came into my room looking light and happy. His eyes fairly shone with tr e ecta9y ot a blisstul emotion. " " What is it Gus ?" I asked. "I've found herl she's here !" and then he stopped to catch his breath. " who s here?" r 1 asked, thinking perhaps that Mrs. " Woodhull or Susan Anthony had arrived. ' " Why, the girl I've been looking for sweet young stylish, and not ex pensive 1" .Lightning, Gus I said 1, putting on my glasses, " I'd like to see such a girl myself. Where is she ?" We mst came in irom a ride she's down in the parlor a regular stunner, in sage green I and so economical 1" sage green sage g r-e-e-n, 1 mut tered to myself, thinking of the $400 saw a young lady pay for just such a dress. " How do you know that ehe isn't expensive ? Bow do you ?" "Why, conlound it l" broke inbiu, I knoiv it. I've been talking to her for three hours. She talked very eco nomically just like sensible girl."-. ; " What did she say ?" 1 continued. Why, - the ' said she was looking' for a true man, a brave man and gener ous, with love in his heart, and with such a man she said she could be happy in a garret with . the man. she loved.' Hal hal" and Gus whirled round twice and kicked the crown out of my best Dunlap hat in the excess ot his mirth. I made Gus take me right down for an introduction to nis economical friend, and then I let him go off to change his coat for dinner. Miss D. was prettv and stylish, too. She had on a love a $75 hat and those pretty $18 laced gaiters, which the man makes under the Coleman House. Her dress was the richest gros grain sage green with panier, watteau, polonaise. and court train. it contained exactly 176 yards of $9 silk. . On her pretty hands were six-button gaslight green kids, which lost themselves under point lace under-sleeves and over diamond bracelets. On her arm she carried a $1,500 camel's hair shawl.- " This is mother's, Mr. .rerkins," sne replied. . " I took it in case of a ram. I don't expect to have camera nair ana regular diamonds until i'm married. Mother's last words, when I left home; were: "wow, lizzie, aon'ii De - intro duced to any foreigners, or lose your iewelrv." " (Jouidn't you De nappy auer you . . . . .. . , Pa are married without camel s hair and diamonds?" 1 asked, taking her $75 pearl and point lace fan, and looking down at her point lace underskirt. Why, 1 hadn't thought much aooui it. That's iust what your friend Motley and 1 were talking about. And such a nice long talk " " Then vou and Gus have been dis cussing the .love in-a-cottage idea, have you?" I interrupted. - Yes. that was it : and ne s so nice 1 And didn't vou say that you could live in a garret with a brave,' handsome rna.n. whom vou loved dearly?" ' Yes. I did sav that. 1 don l care h T do blush. I said that I could live happily in a garret with the man I loved and 1 could it we couia nave a nice elevator and have our meals : sent in from Delmonico's.., Why, those Paran Stevens $6,000 garret suites ars just as cosy as they can be ! ; . This, alas 1 was the economical sweet ness of my friend Gus, who could live in a $6,000 garret with the .i&n she loved. These are the economical young ladies who come to Saratoga and deceive us poor fellows who talk garret, get nnr tallaires and men come me eleva tor and lunch from Delmonico dodges on us. ' These, alas! are the young la- rlioa who train our honest love just to Etfial our money for 5400 sage green dresses with watteaus and polonaise all cut on the bias, or sell us. These are the dear creatures whom magnanimous fathers eenerouslv five away to us say Eli Perkins. it if is of is A would be author was advised to try the effect of one of his. compositions tb folks at , home" without con- fessing its autnorsnip. xxis momer icu it .1 i-.. 11 I'asleep, his sister groaned, his brother asked him to hold up as tney nan xiau quite enough of that shower of words without wit. and at last his wife tapped him nnon the shoulder witn iuo bwcck- est possible " won't that do?" He then aaw how it was himself, buried his port folio, recovered his digestion, and has a. hrDV man ever since. What blessed relief to editors and the rest mankind would more of our literary aspirants try this prescription. An experienced housekeeper says that flies may be kept out ot a butter- plate on the table by a simple and novel expedient, by planting in it a thin slice of bread, cut columnwise, and inserted in a perpendicular position. Whether the bread scares off the ilies the lady cannot say, but she delares it certanily keeps them off. The Difficulty of Rhyming. We parted by the gate la June. That soft and balmy month. Beneath the sweetly-beaming moon. And Cwonth hnnth sunth bunth 1 can't find a rhyme to month.) Tears weie to pass ere we should meat, A wide and yawning; gulf Divide me from my love so sweet. While (nlt'-Bulf dull' molf Btuek asai a : I can't set aDy rhyme to snlf. I'm in a gull ciy- self) Oh. how I dreaded in my sol To part from my sweet nymph , While years should their loog seasons roll Before (hymn dymoh symphI guess IH have to let it go at that.) Beneath my fortune's stern decree My lonely spirits sunk. For I a weary soul should ke . And a (hunk- dunk rank ik That will never do in the world.) She buried her dear lovely face Within her azure scarC She knew I'd take the wretchedness - As well as (narf sarf darf harf-and-harf. that won't answer, either.) Oh, I had loved her many years, I loved her for herself: I loved her for her tender tears. And also for her (welf nelf helf pelfi no, no : not tor ner poll.; . . f I toek between her hands my head. How sweet her lips did pouch 1 ; ' I kiBsed her lovingly and said Cbouch mouch loach ouch : not a bit of it did Isaypuca) I sorrowfurly wrung her hand, -My tears tney did escape, T My sorrow I eould not oommand. Anil T M hnt alftnnB -dane faneane well, perhaps I did feel lilfe an ape.) I gave to her a fond adieu. Sweet pupil of love's school, I told her f would e'er he true, A-nA a 1 tmava k. tl ( r nfll BOol mOOl-fCOl I since I come to think of it, 1 was a fool.- for sho fell in love with another fellow before I was gone a month.) . " Varieties. Thb Carolina suicide who- swallowed some pounded glass died of a pane in his stomach. What is that from which, if you take the whole, some will r?main ? . lhe word wholesome. ' '" It is not round ' sentences, but point ed ones, that are sure to stick in the memory. . :- -. - ' It is an error to imagine that women talk more than men. They're listened to more that's alL ' ' Why is a baby like a sheaf of wheat? Because it is first cradled, and then thrashed, and finally becomes the flow er of the family. Japanese girls are' studying- dress making in Paris, and will probably make considerable bustle on their return to their native country. . ... Ir a young lady wishes a young gen tleman to kiss her what papers would Bhe mention ? No Spectator, no Observer but as many Times as you please. Aw irritable Lafayette man, who was disappointed in his boots, threatened to eat up the shoemaker, but compromised by drinking a cobbler. At a certain church fair, a set of Cooper's works was promised to the in dividual who should answer a certain set of conundrums. ' A dashing young fellow was nronounced the winner, and received a set of wooden pails. Our experience in journalism teaches us that there is nothing in this world that will so disgust and sicken the gen eral reader as to learn, after wading through the particulars ot an awiui accident, that there is a probability of the victim's recovery. - - Rati luck is simrjlv a man .'with his hands in his pockets and a pipe in his mouth, looking on to see how it will out Good luck is a man jof pluck, with his sleeves rolled up and working to make it come out right. ' A veteran was relating his exploits to a crowd of boys, and mentioned hav ing been in five engagements. "That's nothing," broke in a little fellow, " my ister Agnes has been engagea eieven imes." ' A youth stepped into, a book-store and asked, " What kind of pens do you sell here, mister?" "All kinds, you young rascal," answered one of the clerks. Do you ?" said the little chap ; "then give me ten cents' worth of pig pens ?" A gentleman connected with Bos ton bank as a clerk recently roDoea the bank. They called Him "teliow" and other disreputable names at first, and some intimated that he was a thief, for they thought he had stolen oniy a few dollars. But it turns out that he took $83,000, and is not a thief at all. but a defaulter. Miss Kane, of Baltimore, set out to write a list of the wrongs ot women, dug found so many of them that she was driven to the conclusion that wpmen suffer a wrong m being born at an. This disposes of the whole question in a eiutsheU. . ' T T Taking Medicine. a of take something which is regarded as me-ic.ne by a majority oi peopie in an civilized countries. If they are not dosed to their satisfaction by physi c ans, patent preparations, nostrums, and above all, pills, have such irresisti ble charms, they indulge in me iua.ury of presc ibing for themselves. Medicine taking, tnertiore, irom i universality in this country, U a dis ease. That fact is made use of to sup ply the enormous demand, by extensive manufacturers, oi an imagiuuio im positions. Vast fortunes are thus ac cumulated in keeping pace with the general cravings for physic lhe more severely drastic, the better it is liked. If it tears the bowels with extreme vio lence, it is an evidence of its utility to the mass oi meaicine takers. The best physician is one so skilled in his profession as to decide when it is not necessary to take medicine. A dis tinguished medical gentleman of Bos ton, very far advanced in years, imputes his extraordinary good health and vig or to the fact that he has never taken any drugs. He is sustained in the opin ion. There is neither common, sense nor science itr dabbling perpetually on the slightest inditposition with medicine. Peschka-Leutnkr's origin was as ple beian as that of Nilsson. Her lather was a cigar vender, and she commenced her musical career as a street singer.