OCR Interpretation


Eaton weekly Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1866-1875, September 11, 1873, Image 1

Image and text provided by Ohio Historical Society, Columbus, OH

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn85034457/1873-09-11/ed-1/seq-1/

What is OCR?


Thumbnail for

We
N ' A HP Ok IV!
EMOCRAT
EKLY
1 G. GOULD, Publisher. . Devoted to the Interests of the Democratic Party, and the Collection of Local and General News. Two Dollars per Annum, in Adrancc,
VOL. VI.-NO. 47. EATON, OHIO, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 11, 1873. WHOLE NUMBER 333.
DID IT PAY?
Sharply the sickle rings out through the mir,
Catting the billowy gnus so fair ;
Bright shines the sun on the broad hay lands,
Where wearily toil all the harvest hands ;
AU day long, with unceasing seal,
They have driven the sickle and swung the steel ;
Often and often they glance at the sun.
And as often wish that their day's work was done,
For the heavens all seem like bright, molten brass,
And the ground seems to scorch their feet as they
pass.
But to old Farmer John, who leaned 'gainit the
fence,
It all seemed a matter of dollars and cents ;
He watched while the mowers fell the rich fcay,
And watched till he Baw it all hauled away.
And while he stood watching, he reckoned the yield
Of hay from the meadow and wheat from the field.
Of hay he reckoned, when all was doue,
There would be at least full seventy ton ;
Bach ton, to count at the lowest rate.
Would bring twelve dollars, sold early or late.
And then he on tinted each bushel of wheat.
Cleaned from the thrashing of refuse and cheat ;
Passed on to the oats, and ran the whole score,
And found he had hundreds of bushels more ;
And then, in fancy, he paid off his hands,
Gathered his corn, and cleared up his lands,
Balanced things well for the year to come,
And found himself richer by quite a round sum.
Then said, as he lighted his pipe of clay,
" I knew that common sense farming would pay ;
My land yields as well as any around.
Better Btock than mine can nowhere bo found ;
My farm is in order, each pasture and lot,
My fences are ' up,' when 1 am about.
I have reapers enough, and harrows, and now,
lust one thing I need tis a new ' Gang plow.' -
It will save, in the end, the wage of a man,
And 111 make by saving whenever I can."
The farmer forgot, when he laid his plans,
The good wife at home, who had stayed his hands.
vv no naa wuca xor mm wuca none oroer wuuia,
And in every way had done what she could ;
Who had starved, and pinched, and slaved herself,
To help him gather his hoard of pelf ;
Who had worked, when with fever her hands were
frot,
To help him purchase one more " pasture lot."
He forgot to ask, in his thankless greed,
If there was not something his wife might need ;
He forgot to ask if she had a care,
Or a wiBh as to how should be spent her share.
He forgot how often, in vain,
That the old farm-houso might be painted again ;
He forgot how she'd toiled from year to year,
With the household arrangements ail crooked and
queer,
When a few days of labor, or dollars' outlay.
Would have fixed things convenient just the right
way,
And while, in fancy, he drove his new plow,
(A eertaii. possession with him now,
Thinking how much it would speed his work,
This new " Gang plow," with its new-fangled quirk.)
It never entered his head to buy
A sewing machine for his wife, O Fie !
" His mother had sewed with her hands, and she
Was as good wife as woman could be ;
He wasnt the man who 'gun-cracks' would buy,
When money was scarce, and taxes were high."
Time went on ; all the hay was sold,
The wheat and corn brought plenty of gold, -The
plow was bought, and with money in bank,
The farmer was rich with no one to thank."
With no one to thank 1 though his wife was bowed
With striving to carry her end of the load ;
Bowed and wrinkled, and seamed with care,
With many and many a silvery hair ;
Beauty and youth had slipped away,
In the wearing duties of every day ;
Till Youth, Ambition, and Health were gone.
What to her were broad acres of waving grain,
When she ne'er might see sons or daughters again ?
What to her were the barns with grain piled highT
What the finest stock that money could buy ?
Ijong years ago, she had wanted the gold,
To give her children the wealth untold,
Of education, position and place,
But thee were denied to her very face.
Nov, when her boys and girls were gone.
And weary and old she was left alone,
She only sighed, at the very -best,
To be left a little space for rest;
And when, worn out with toil and strife,
a iie good wire enaea ner weary liier
The farmer saw at what fearful cost-
He valued the life that now was lost.
But unavailing were tiara and remorse.
Ah I he would have given his very best horse
(TA baa hi. wlfa In tha hiliHUl a. ni I'-iP. :
But love and the dead return no more.
And this was the end 1 Ah ! let it be told
There are some things better than land or gold.
There are things more worth Riving a life to gain
Than the choicest stock, "or " the finest grain."
So Farmer John thinks, as lonely and gray,
He wonders if 41 common-sense farming" does pay.
'
it
to
I
In
of
a
If
of
a
.. Prairie farmer.
A LITTLE MISTAKE.
"Why don't I marry? Not because
I have any dislike to womanhood ; far
from it."
" How about the little Bose ?' " sev
eral voices cried in chorus, bnt our host
instantly replied, Hush !" It was a
sore point with him.
I have mentioned our host, and now
let me introduce him. He was a man
of powerful build, fair, with a profusion
of whiskers ; with beard and mustache,
but soft, light eyes, which had nothing
in them of his character,- reckless and
joviaL- His words, given above, sprang
from, some banter of ours (there were
half a dozen of us who had sat after the
late dinner in the largest room of the
smallest but "snuggest" shooting-box
the whole county of Yorkshire contained)
upon his apparent dislike of the gentle
sex. Perhaps we felt curious to know
why or how it was that a man with an
unencumbered estate, a congenial tem
per, and a good country gentleman,, al
beit on the verge of forty, should not
long ago have been what shall I say ?
in love? no, that is not always the case,
but married.
Few of us, it may be, thought
at the time that we called out
"How about little Bose?" that there
was a sore point there. It was only an
imperfect knowledge of the story of a
young lady with whom our friend's
name had been mixed up ; but such of
us as were best acquainted with it re
membered of hearing of a little gov
erness in a private family where he vis
ited (where it was thought the daughter
of the house, a coarse, showy girl, was
the attraction) being found hearing a
a declaration of love from our friend.
The story went, too, that the governess,
upon whom they had some claim of re
lationship, was sent from the house
upon a planned tale of her lover's false
hood, and kept abroad till she shortly
died in that belief ; that. the memory of
the girl so remained with rnm that he
quickly left London, and was lost to the
maneuvering mammas who sought his
unencumbered estate rather than him
self for their daughters " on show."
" You want to know," he said, not an
swering the question put to him "you
want to know why I didn't get married
at the ' usual' time ? Well, I don't mind
telling you. Fill your glasses, then ;
and, Con, don't you play the 'nurse'
with the bottle."
According to our host's invitation, we
filled our glasses, and, drawing up, sat
pulling at our cigars in silence, await
ing his story. He sat looking at the
fire for a few moments, and then broke
out
"It's not much I have to tell, but as
some of you have not yet passed your
flirting days, it may teach you a lesson.
I was only twenty-two when it happen
ed, and I believe that is about the
usual' time when matrimony is perpe
trated. Then my father was alive, and
I only plain 'Mr. 1 had never lived
much down here, but had passed a good
deal of my time in London, and I had
some old friends of my college days, and
old boaters on the Cam, with whom the
days passed more pleasantly than profit
ably, I'm afraid. At any rate. I will
own that, after a longer and more varied
season than usual, I felt that my consti
tution would oe better lor a change, oo
I
Xt
to
I
determined to get away and take the
Cumberland lakes for a time. My most
intimate friend -nt that time, Jack ,
well, never mind his other name, as
some of you may know him, though
now he's settled down to what he calls a
quiet life. ' That means a small house,
his ' suburban retreat,' and a large fam
ily of babies crying about the place
from morning till night. Jack, I say,
had given me a light commission to ex
ecute for him in the neighborhood, and
was to serve as an introduction for
me to some lady of - his acquaintance,
who, he said, possessed two charming
daughters. A man - has a liking, for fe
male society at that time of ijfe, and, the
ladies being so promisingly described, I
determined on my arrival in Cumber
land to take advantage of my commis
sion. I did so, and I found the ladies
one dark and the other fair the young
ladies I speak of now. My good friend
Jack had informed me that they were of
very opposite temperaments. Elsie
very fair was gay and fond of bold
and merry' natures, he said ; Dell
short for Delilah was dark, . and
retiring almost to bashfulness and
timidity. He had joked me by saying
that he expected to see me come back
tied to one of their apron-strings ; and
that, if I were anything of a reasonable
being, these were two girls who ought
satisfy any expectation. Of course
my commission procured me an invita
tion to the House, ana my stay in Cum
berland began most favorably. Alas for
promises ! I had determined to act
upon Jack's suggestion, and render my
self agreeable to the young ladies ac
cording to their respective inclinations.
When, therefore, JL met them, X con
versed with the fair one in a light, live
ly, and, as I believed, happy manner. I
even forced myseii into a merry mood.
made jokes, and laughed at them my
self, but, strange to say, she answered
scarcely a word to all my observations.
sought all opportunities before a week
was out of catching her unexpectedly.
the recess of the windows of the
dining-room I hemmed her in, and
made laughing love. I praised the color
her hair and eyes, and vowed I'd steal
ringlet of her hair, if only to kiss it.
she ran away, I thought it was coy
ness, and followed her. Mind you, I
was only acting upon my friend s sug
gestion, and was not rude beyond what
youth will excuse. With the sister,
Dell dark, dark-eyed Dell X played a
wholly diverse character. Books
Scott, uyron and fcjna&espeare ; music
the oratorios, Schubert, and the works
the " severe" school of composition,
formed the ground-work of my dis
courses, and I never attempted to catch
her alone. Being by chance one day
wandering about, I met the fair Elsie
coming nirnaa a liflltowaitl irxt- Two
were company, X thought, and here was
happy occasion for rehearsing my part.
Laughingly I talked to heir I cannot
say with her joKed and told stories, x
spoke of my travels, my college life, mjr
London experiences such as a lady
might hear and enlarged upon them
almost to the verge of romance to in
terest and amuse her. Not a word above
monosyllable could I extract in reply.
Shall I admit that I had begun to feel
what slow work was, when luckily the
sister, also a lonely pilgrim upon the
hills, appeared before us ? " Although it
placed me between two fires, I felt it al
most as a relief. I could play the two
parts at once, I thought, and so we
proceeded on a trio. The knowledge
that I was the protector of a young lady
who had been described to me as of re
tiring and almost timid disposition,
made me doubly anxious to prove my
powers of entertaining. I continued to
rattle on in slight asides to Elsie, and
then at length, after we had gone some
way in silence, X turned to Delilah with
some remark about the weather. Don't
laugh, it's a very genuine remark. She
turned away, and I thought she laughed,
but perhaps it was only thought, for
when she replied it was a quiet acqui
escence in my observation. Then again
there was a silence, and an aside with
the fair Elsie, who blushed and turned
away. A few. minutes afterward I
ventured to inquire of Delilah, with all
the modesty I could, if she were fond of
poetry. Did she like, Shelley? She
stared at me so hard that, for a moment,
thought she believed I was question
ing her as to her knowledge. I was
about to relieve her from what x thought
an embarrassment, when she said :
" No ; he s so jolly dry !
"You know" the old saying, 'You
might knock me down with a feather ?'
was true m my case. Xhe manner
was so rough and boisterous that I was
quite taken by surprise. I ventured,
however, another remark, and said,
mildly, that I thought Cumberland very
charming, and that I should not mind
living there forever. And then, turning
Elsie, whispered softly, ' With
yon- ... . ...
" i ipnin n answered quicKiy :
" ' It may be charming, but it's aw
fully slow, and you'd soon get the old
notion out of your head.
" And then she ran on telling me of
the opera she was ' dying' to hear, the
fetes at the Horticultural Gardens she
pined to go to, and the thousand and
one of the jolly old London lions' so
8he expressed it Bhe had heard of by
name and knew nothing of by acquaint
ance. Elsie said never a word, and the
retiring, timid Dell rattled on as if she
possessed a fund of information of Lon
don Life, and only longed to be in it.
My mind was in a whirl of confusion.
remembered my friend's description.
"fair and good-humored, with high
spirits ; dark, modest and full of quiet
grace." I had made no mistake.
''That walk did not finish as it had
begun at our meeting. In almost total
silence we approached the house. Deli
lah had long since stopped the flow of
her talk X caannot say our conversa
tion,' for in truth she had quite run me
off and I could but think. The sisters
exchanged looks, and Elsie shrank away
from me, as though X were mad and
would bite, when I addressed her. The
other only curled her lip in scorn, or
turned away her head if I only looked
toward her : and" at last X was so an
noyed with them not with myself
that X could scarcely tell what X did say.
I knew I was right, however, and was
glad when we reached their home.
Would I not stay ?' said mamma the
girls had fled away the moment we ar
rived, and as soon as they had crossed
the hall I could have sworn I heard a
laugh. ' No ;' I thanked the good lady,
and said that I had a particular engage
ment a few miles away, which would de
tain me two days. After that, I hoped
to be permitted to call on her and her
charming daughters again. With this
lame excuse, X left for two days. Is it
necessary to tell you how I employed
them ? X was wild, excited, mad, be
cause in youth one feels these little
crosses somewhat more keenly than we
do in later life, when we know that 'man
is not perfect, nor woman neither.' I
had determined, then, to write to Jack,
' my good friend,' and tell him of the
extraordinary conduct as I thought
of his 'modest and retiring' maiden,
and request any explanation it might be
in his power to afford. I caught that
night's post, and throughout the next
day remained indoors, fearing, if 1
stirred out, to meet the family I had
made my friends, and so give the lie to
my assertion that I had gone away for
two days. These two days shall I ever
forget them, the fever of excitement I
was in, and the monotony of the self
constituted imprisonment. The post
on the second morning brought me a
latter from Jack. I tore it open, and
dashed at once into the pith of his
epistle. How I cursed his circumlocu
tion 1 Instead of at once replying to
the question I had put to him, he com
menced witn a roundabout story of his
acquaintanceship with the ladies of the
Lodge. ' I skipped the pages one, two,
and three, and. determined to know the
worst, I went at once to the last break of
his letter. ' This was it :
" After all, you see, I had a jolly
time of it. and, between the two, won
der that I came away faithful to the lit
tle woman soon to be my wife. Xf X did
make a little error in my description of
them, set it down to the dangerous fas
cination they exercised over me. It is
Elsie who is fair and retiring ; Dell who
is dark and dashing; that's the word.'
He would have written before, he said,
had he thought it of any consequence,
but he apologized for what he considered
after all all only a ' little mistake.
' .Need X tell you how, when x called
at the ' Lodge' again, I was met with
the reply to my inquiry, ' not at home,'
though I thought the servant was a
long time gone to give my name, and I
felt almost certain, as I left the house,
that I saw a dark-haired, girlish, laugh
ing face peeping from behind the drawn
curtains ? .Need x tell you how, in
envy, hatred, malice, and all uncharita-
bieness of spirit, x rnsnea up to town
only to find the story known to all my
set, and going the round of the ' social
and literary' club I had joined shortly
e ? unnecessary, too, to tell you
how I experienced to the full extent the
capacity of the club for sociability," in
an immense amount oi cnan upon tne
matter from the members ; and how
thenceforward, till I left the place,
I was known as the 'bashful man.
Suffice it that I had at first a decided in
clination to sacrifice my ' dear friend'
Jack upon the altar of my wounded
pride, by horsewhipping him for put
ting the story about. But at length I
rushed away from London (our host did
not say how long after, and he skipped
the story of little Bose, which was the
real cause of his leaving, with some
thing like a break in his voice,) and
joined the Governor poor old man
down here, and went in for life as a
' country squire,' with an interest in
turnip-crops, pigs, and sheep, and the
education of the crow-boy. So you see
why I didn't marry at the 'usual'
time for such chances some I know
would call them the ' mischances' of
life ; and I'm not likely to play the fool
now.
" And now," he concluded, rising,
" there's the billiard-room open for
those who like to knock the balls about ;
there are candles for those who like
their bed I'm one of them. Six in the
morning early tub and I'll promise
you a good find and a couple of fox-tail
before dinner, my boys." Newsboys'
Magazine.
A Useful Shoe.
We lately saw in a shoe shep a
that would seem to be very useful for
farmers. The upper part was of leather,
the sole of wood. The upper portion
was in two pieces only, and all the sew
ing required is to stitch thesi together
and to fasten in the counter. This is
done by a machine. .The entire sole, in
cluding the heel is of one piece of white
wood. This is well shapen to fit the in
ner curve of the foot, and requires no
inside sole. The wooden sole is about
an inch in thickness, and the heel pro
portionally thicker. On the upper edge
a small portion is cut away about the
thickness of the upper leather, and to
this the upper portion is attached by
brass or copper tacks, which first pass
through a leather band. The shoe
weighs hardly more than a common
leather shoe having a double leather
sole. If each were exposed to moisture,
as by wearing them in the mud, the
wooden soled one would be the lightest.
These shoes are designed especially for
men -engaged in distilleries, breweries,
or who work mixing mortar, or in damp
places ; but it is obvious that they
would be excellent for farmers. As a
shoe to wear in the barn, stable barn
yard, or for general use in sloppy
weather, it has many advantages. The
Dutch, as well as the people of several
other countries in Europe, generally wear
shoes made entirely- of wood, and they
are in great favor, notwithstanding their
being large and unsightly. The com
bined wood and leather shoe has all the
advantage of the wooden shoe and is
open to none of the objections. These
shoes could be made of split leather for
about eighty cents per pair, and ought
to retail for a dollar. The sample we
saw was not marked "patented." If a
patent is not secured on them, ihis pat
ent is not extended by Congressional ac
tion, and a stock company does not
secure a monopoly in making and sell
ing them, we think farmers may keep
their feet dry at small expense and make
a great saving in the matter of shoe
leather. Prairie Farmer.
Fob more than a hundred years coffee
has been denounced by medical writers
as poison. Yet the consumption of the
article has constantly increased.
Miscellaneous.
Senator Sumner is taking absolute
rest.
From five to seven refrigerator cars,
loaded with butter, are shipped East
every day from Chicago.
Prof..Agassiz desires to throw open
to women all the educational institutions
and facilities under his control.
There are 20,000,000 acres of wild
land along the Mississippi river, of great
richness of soil.
Indiana has the largest school fund
of any State in the Union, amounting
to over 8,000,000.
Mrs. Schtjrz .has had the good for
tune to inherit $170,000" from her uncle,
recently deceased at Hamburg.
The ancient gates of Constantinople,
which resisted decay for 1,100 years,
were said to be made of cypress.
It has been twice judicially decided
that a railroad passenger need not give
up his ticket until furnished a seat.
Under the revised code of Iowa the
guilty party, in cases where divorces are
granted, shall lose all rights acquired
by the marriage.
One of the notorious divorce lawyers
of New York, in his advertisement in
the city papers, says : " Hymeneal in
compatibilities as a specialty delicately
adjusted. 'Tis slavery to retain the
hand after the eradiac entrail has de
parted." The Union Pacific Railroad Company
report that they sold during the
month of July last 20,500 acres of land,
at an average price of $6.73 per acre,
amounting to $138,677.23. The sales
averaged 108 acres to each purchaser.
Dere & Co., the well-known plow
manufacturers of Molina, Til., have
been awarded the first premium at the
great Vienna Exposition. This award
reflects credit upon the manufacturing
skill and enterprise of the Great West.
A new dress which a Brattleboro
woman invented worked so well that,
while walking along one of the public
streets, the entire garment fell to the
sidewalk, leaving her costumed like a
Georgia major.
The total amount of tea consumed
yearly in the United States is about
50,000,000 pounds, of which 20,000,000
is green teas of various descriptions,
about $15,000,000 Oolong, and the re
mainder Japanese and other varieties.
Books in China are not dear, and all
the standard histories and school-books
are very cheap. The whole of the Con
fucian classics sell at from 30 cents to
$1.50, according to the quality of the
paper. Xhe Uiiinesjnev-ei' m uuty uu
boofcor
Since Miss Maggie Elphich, the Con
necsicut oysterman's daughter, pulled
young Sims out of the bay at Green
wich, she has received a dozen offers of
marriage, and the Connecticut girls are
now asking, " Mother, may I go out to
swim ?"
There are seven newspapers pub
lished in the United States which are
over 100 years old. They are the Ports
mouth (N. H.) Gazette, Newport (B. L)
Mercury, New London (Conn.) Gazette,
Hartford (Conn.) Courant, New Haven
(Conn.) Journal, Salem (Mass.) Gazette,
Worcester (Mass. ) Spy.
The five leading branches of manu
facture in the United States are iron,
lumber, cotton, machinery and woolen,
ranging in importance in the order
named. The iron trade employs 137,
545 operatives and a capital of $198,
356,116; the lumber trade 163,397
operatives and a capital of $161,500,273.
Emma Black, living in a small town
on the Mississippi, saved a man's life
the other day in a curious way. He
was fishing, and tumbled out of his
boat, and being unable to swim, would
have perished had not the maiden, dis
covering his danger, swam out to him,
and throwing into his hands her back
hair, four' feet in length, towed him to
the land.
Mrs. Kate Ferguson, the wife of a
Cleveland printer, was frightened to
death recently. ' She was walking on
the street, followed by a small dog,
when a dog-killer, seeing a chance to
make a fee in his vocation, aimed the
gun at the dog, which so frightened
Mrs. F. that she ran screaming home,
was seized with convulsions, and died
in a short time.
Miss Anna E. Dickinson rode to the
top of Pike's Peak, Wednesday morn
ing, accompanied by Mr. E. S. Nettle
ton, Chief Engineer of the Bio Grande
Railway Land Department, her brother,
the Bev. John Dickinson, and Ralph
Meeker. She is the first person who
ever mode the ascent on horseback, and
hitherto the feat was considered impos
sible. On the following day she lec
tured at Colorado Springs on " Joan of
Arc." Denver News.
Speaking of the cholera, a leading
English authority says that there is no
sign of any rapid spread of it in Eu
rope, and that there seems to be little
doubt that physical, like moral, epide
mics, wear themselves out to some ex
tent ; or rather, that the human frame
accommodates itself to the conditions
which cause them, that they do not pro
duce the virulent effects after long pre
valence that they produced at first.
Among the recent and ingenious de
vices for utilizing the electric spark, is
that which substitutes it for the ordi
nary flint or percussion cap on fire-arms.
By the aid of a small ' galvanic battery
within the handle of the pistol or gun,
or by the conrenient arrangement of a
Ley den jar and rubber, the current is
generated, and conducted by a wire to
the cartridge. The contact of the wire
with the cartridge may be effected by a
simple press pin or lever.
Omc fences are valued at one thousand
eight hundred millions of dollars, and
it costs ninety-eight millions of dollars
to keep them in repairs. Illinois has
two million dollars invested in fences,
sixty per cent, of which are boards,
post and rail, and forty per cent, wire
and hedges. These fences cost one hun
dred and seventy-five thousand dollars
nanually for repairs.
The Tichborne Case.
The proceedings in the Tichborne case
on Aug. 11 seem to have been particu
larly lively. The Daily Telegraph re
port says : "A necessarily dry sum
mary can give no notion of the torrent
of invective which Dr. Kenealy poured
forth. Utterly regardless of the pres
ence of the Bench, he addressed himself
to the jury and at Mr. Bowker, who sat
unmoved below him ; he made no at
tempt to conceal his meaning ; he open
ly admitted that conspiracy and perjury
were the ' logical effect' of his charges ;
and once again, referring to Lord Bel
lew's private life, he begged the jury to
declare that the man who had basely
seduced his friend's wife was unworthy
to be believed upon his oath. A storm
was evidently impending. In a few
minutes it burst. A reference to Cbatil
lon who seems to have, been Boger
Tichborne's paidagogos rather than
strictly his tutor as ' a valet,' drew
from the Lord Chief Justice the indig
nant remonstrance, ' That is a most
improper remark.' 'I say it is a proper
remark,' said Dr. Kenealy. I say it is
not, sir.' ' With all submission to your
Lordship, I say it is. I do not wish for
a discussion with your Lordship.' ' Nor
will I have a discussion with you, sir,'
was the retort ; ' I have had enough of
them.' 'It .was a proper remark,' per
sisted Dr. Kenealy ; it was my duty to
make it.' 'It is your duty,' severely
interposed Mr. Justice Mellor, 'to fol
ow those rules which guide a gentleman
in the performance of his duty.' 'I
know a gentleman's conduct as well as
you, my Lord,' cried Dr. Kenealy,
swinging round toward Mr. Justice
Mellor ; 'I beg you" will not repeat that
observation.' ' I repeat it,' said Mr.
Justice Mellor. You shall not repeat it
to me, my Lord,' called out Dr. Kenealy.
' I will not allow you, sir,' interrupted
the Lord Chief Justice, to address -a
member of the Bench in that tone.' ' If
a member of the Bench,' cried Dr.
Kenealy, ' forgets his duty, he must be
properly rebuked.' To the surprise of
all in court, the Lord Chief Justice, in
stead of ordering Dr. Kenealy's ' com
mittal, repeated, ' You shall not speak
to the Bench in that way, sir ;' and, as
if he were actually trying to drive his
Lordship to commit him, Dr. Kenealy
again retorted that his remarks were
called for.' ' I say you shall not ad
dress them to me, sir,' was the reply.
'I address them to you, gentlemen of
the jury,' said the learned counsel,
turning round toward the ' sheep pen ;'
and so ended this extraordinary alter
cation." the claimant's butoher-shop.
The following advertisement appears
in the Australian papers : " The Claim
ant's butcher-shop, now standing in
WttggaYfdgg, 3frew feoulli Wales, for
sale. The house is made of logs, has" a
brick chimney and a bark roof. On the
door still remain penciled accounts of
sales of meat written by the Claimant
himself. The whole structure can be
easily taken down, the door, chimney
and sheets of bark (roof) packed in
cases, and by the aids of plans and pho
tographs re-erected anywhere. This
remarkable specimen of an Australian
bush-house, rendered particularly inter
esting through the most remarkable
trial of modern times, will be sent some
400 miles by bullock wagons, and put
on board a ship bound direct to London
for the sum of 2,400. Affidavits will
accompany it to prove its authenticity.
The time occupied by transit will occupy
nearly five months."
A Couple Married Three Times.
The men are few to whose lot it has
fallen to be married three times ; rare,
though less rare, are the women who
have achieved three ceremonies of" that
interesting character ; but here we have
a couple who have been married three
times to each other. Nine years ago
Mr. Charles Wood, then living in De
Kalb county, of this State, was united
in marriage to Miss Martha Bailey.
Within a year or two, she developed
what Capfc. Dalroy calls, " a very
large temper," and Mr. Wood procured
a divorce. A year or two more elapsed,
they came together again, buried the
hatchet or the broom-stick, or whatever
it is that typifies domestic warfare, and
were married again. This time the con
nubial peace was destroyed by the
green-eyed monster, and the second di
vorce was procured at his suit on a
charge of adultery. Then Mr. Wood
moved to Iowa, his divorced wife re
maining in De Kalb county. A short
time ago she wrote to him, asking if he
would not take care of the children, to
which petition came the reply, "Yes,
and of you too." She went to him, and
is now, for the third time, his wife.
Chicago Times.
Singular Lightning Stroke. The
Wilmington Commercial says that on
Tuesday last, while working in the woods,
William Palmer, of Concord, Delaware
county, was struck by lightning. The
current entered below the left shoulder
blade, and passed down the left side,'
tearing and burning the skin, but not
injuring the clothes in any way. Mr.
Palmer was not stunned in the least,
but felt disposed to lie down, and so
walked to a good place, where he pros
trated himself, and instructed his son
to throw some water over him, when he
(the son) took his shoe and carried some
water, which he dashed on his father.
Mr. Palmer was afterward taken home,
and has not yet recovered from the
shock received. He had been driving
wedges with a maul at the time he was
struck, and the handle of that imple
ment was shivered to splinters by the
current which struck him.
Fun for the Children. Did any of
our readers ever experiment with the
acquirements of a spider? If they
haven't they have deprived themselves
of much amusement. One of the best
ways to test a spider's ability to get
himself out of a scrape, is to fill an or
dinary wash-bowl with water, take a
stick and place it in the center of the
bowl, and reaching some little distance
above the water, and then put a spider
on the top of the stick. We will wager
almost anything that the insect gets
himself away from his isolated quarters
in less than ten minutes, if undisturbed,
and he won't even wet his feet in the
transit. Try it and see how it's done,
i Peoria III.) Transcript,
Gen. Sherman.
The General of our army, whose sal
ary is $13,000 a year, came among us
three days, and wo shook off bureau re
straint and conventionality, and ex
changed opinions freely.
Sherman fs a purn, frank type of man,
who will have and hold his own. .He
substitutes for mere imagination a
short-cut, original observation, which is
charming and surprising. In thirty
minutes he will say so many new,
pithy, innocent things of depth that
you begin to feel that your man has
just come into the world seeking after
truth, and does not know what anybody
had said previously on the same sub
jects. This quality of first-sight never
grows vagarious and lapses into the
mere verbosity of a professional
talker one of those elbow-chair fellows
who sentimentalize, talk - a straight
rhapsody sprinkled with inconsequential
anecdote, and kill time and thought like
a masculine Dorcas Society. Sherman
says much in little, with vistas of si
lence between, like the passing ships
you Bee, small and suggestive, on the
water-line. Not dogmatic, but little
given to qualifying anything he is sure
of, there is yet a cool, soldier's materi
alism about him which is contented with
fact, and leaves the reason for it to
somebody else.
" The French are not a military peo
ple," he said ; " they may have been at
some day, but the spirit is not there
now. They live in a simple way in
their little villages, and try to avoid the
conscription." How palpable, and yet
previously unsaid, is this remark !
Again, Sherman remarked: "I think
city and county corporations, and their
abuses, are more dangerous than the
railroad corporations. The one is a
long line ; the other is the whole area.
Every town of any proportions in
America is bonded away by the least
responsible people in it, and taxation is
riscng around ns like a freshet. Stop
these local politicians from selling good
citizens out ; that's where competition
begins and ends." At another time he
alluded to Washington City life, and
expressed the sentiment that he was not
wholly satisfied with it alL There were
a set of bureau-officers there who were
tenacious of their places, and perpetu
ally and annoyingly apprehensive of be
ing transferred to some other points of
duty. "I prefer the West," said the
General, "and think my California ex
perience was the healthiest and most
useful I ever had." He further said he
had formed no very high estimate of the
destinies of Europe ; had little or no de
sire to return there, and had never been
tired but once in his life, when he
ascended "Vesuvius and returned the
same afternoon. Seaside Letter.
All's Well That Ends Well.
Saturday evening, says the Sacra
mento Union, a gentleman in the em
ploy of the Central Pacific Bailroad
Company drove out to a place about
fifteen miles from the city, where his
family are stopping, and soon afterward
started on his return to town. Before
startincr he lighted his meerschaum and
indulged in a long and pleasant smoke
as he drove along. This over, he placed
the pipe in the outer breast pocket of
his coat, and paid no- more attention to
it. By and by a peculiar smell greeted
his olfactories a smell of burning wool
en cloth and, as it increased, he began
to look about to see if his garments
were on fire, and at the first movement
he found that the whole pocket had
burned out of his coat, and the fire was
spreading rapidly. He grabbed at the
burning material hastily, but was so
nervous about it that he frightened the
horse, and the animal ran. To make
matters worse, the lines were not
buckled together, and one slipped out
of his grasp while he was endeavoring
to smother the hre with his other hand.
Still worse, the increased speed increas
ed the breeze, which fanned the fire,
and portions of it dropped down upon
his pants, burning through them, and
causing him to bounce up and down on
the seat as though he were trying to
settle an unusually hearty meal 1 And
there he was horse running away, line
dragging, and fare rapidly making the
cuticle of his leg rival the hue of his
red-flannel underclothing ! At last by
dent of dexterous clawing he managed
to smother the hre, then stepped out on
the shafts and recovered the line, and
in course of time subdued the horse.
Exceedingly thankful to get out of his
trouble without broken bones, he rode
on to the city in a subdued frame of
mind, and never thought of being pro
fane until, just as he was quietly sup
ping into a clothing-store -witn tne
buffalo robe gathered about him to con
ceal the deficiency of his wardrobe, he
met full in the face two lady friends,
who' insisted upon his escorting them
home, and wanted to know what in the
world he had got himself wrapped up
that way lor y
The German Minister of War has re
cently issued an order that every man
subject to military service in the Empire
shall present himself for enrollment
with a photograph of himself in his pos
session, duly certified to by the police
or municipal authorities of the locality
in which the candidate may reside. This
course has been taken to prevent in the
future any fraud on the recruiting offi
cers of a kind that has heretofore been
practised and whereby able-bodied
men, whose names have been drawn
have sent in their place for examination
individuals who suffer from some phy
sical defect, and who have thus secured
immunity from service.
Ingrowing Nails. One of the most
painful surgical operations is removing
nails which have grown into the nesii.
There is r.o necessity whatsoever for
this pain. Tho new method is to keep
the patient ten 6r fifteen days on a bed
or on a sofa with a bread or meal poul
tice applied to the toe. This poultice is
changed several times daily, and the toe
is bathed twice a day in water as
warm as may be borne. In ten or
fifteen days the nail becomes so soft it
may be cut with scissors and removed
by hand without the least pain. Could
not the nail be made soft enough by
keeping in hot water, often changed, for
ten or twelve hours ?
AN OLD MAN'S DREAM.
BY OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES.
Oh, for an hour of youthful joy !
Give back my twentieth spring !
I'd rather laugh a bright haired boy
Than reign a gray haired king.
Off with the wrinkled spoils of age ;
Away with learning's crown ;
Tear out life's wisdom written page,
And cast its trophies down.
One moment let my life blood stream
From boyhood's fount of flame ;
Give me one giddy, reeling dream
Of life, and love, and fame.
My listening angel heard the prayer.
And calmly smiling said.
" If I but touch thy silver hair,
Thy hasty wish had sped.
But is there nothing in thy track
To bid thee fondly stay.
While the swift seasons hurry back
To find the wished for day ?"
- Ah, truest soul of woman kind !
Without thee what were life 7
One bliss I cannot leave behind
IH take my precious wife 1
The angel took a sapphire pen.
And wrote in rainbow hue ;
M The man would be a boy again.
And be a husband too I
" And is there nothing yet unsaid
Before the change appears T
Remember all their gifts have fled
' With these dissolving years I"
u Why, yes, I would one favor more
My fond paternal joys
I could not bear to lose them all ;
ill take my girls and boys."
The smilling angel dropped his pen
Why, this will never do ;
The man would be a boy again,
And be a father too 1
And so I laughed my laughter woke
The household with its noise,
I wrote my dream when morning broke
To please my fair haired boys. .
Humorous.
When is a balloon not a balloon?
When it's a loft.
A favorite dish with the ladies
Tongue sandwiches.
What State in the Union can never
be out of debt ? - Iowa.
Why is a solar eclipse like a woman
whipping her boy? Because it's hiding
of the sun. .
What kind of esssence does a young
man like when he pops the question?
Acquiescence.
It is said that, to be perfectly consis
tent, Miss Anthony always concludes
her prayers with "Amen and Women."
It has been suggested that in building
railroads the rails should be red hot, so
that the workmen will lay them down
rapidly.
Mrs. Partington will not allow Ike
to play the guitar. She says he had it
once when he was a child, and it nearly
killed him.
"Ye are the children of the devil,"
was the text of a divine in the morning,
and in the afternoon he said, ''children,
obey your parents."
Notwithstanding all they say against
it, there is not an editor in the State
who would refuse to receive " back pay "
from subscribers.
It is said that while "beaux" are per
mitted to go on in the way they are,
bent, "belles" are expected to go on in
the way they are told.
An observant man of the world re
marks, that when a young widow re
resumes tight corsets it is to show her
admirers that she is solaced.
The Boston Transcript asks: If a
miss is as good as a mile, how good is a
Mrs? ' If she is a widow she will be
good for a league, perhaps.
A friend of ours is in a dilemma ; ha -says
his finance objects to his being
"loose" and yet threatens to discard
him if she ever sees him "tight"
A fascinating young lady, at one of
our resorts, on being asked recently if
she had ever read Shakespeare, tossed
her pretty head with the answer,
"Shakespeare? Of course I have; -I
read that when it first came out."
A John Bull, conversing with an In
dian, asked him if he knew the sun
never sets in the Queen's dominions.
"No," said the Indian. "Do you know
the reason why?" asked John. Because
God is afraid to trust an Englishman in
the dark," was the savage's reply.
A professor, in explaining to a class
of young ladies the entire theory, ac
cording to which the body is entirely
renewed every seven years, said : " Thus;
Miss B., in seven years you will in real
ity be no longer Miss B." "I really
hope I shan't, ' demurely responded the
girl, casting down her eyes.
Sin ob Jones has been in reduced cir
cumstances he takes, much pleasure in
singing the following version of a popu
lar song:
H While beeksteak and venison cost lots of cash,
Be it ever so gristly, there's nothing like hash.
The scrapings and leavings of no use elsewhere,
When mixed all together make excellent fare.
Hash, hash, good meat hash 1
Be U ever so gristly, there's nothing like hash I
" A stranger from home, hotels dazzle in vain ;
O give me cheap eating-house food that's more plain;
The waiter who gaily re-echoes my call
For a nice plate of hash or a single nsh-ball.
Hash, hash." etc.
The sun fish is the largest of the
true fishes, measuring sometimes 36
feet. Its liver is of large size, generally
two tons ic weight, and yields from six
to eight barrels of oil. The sunfish are
very powerful in the water, and, if har
pooned in the shoulder, are very hard to
kill, often carrying off the whole har
poon line. They sometimes run off
with 200 fathoms of line and two har
poons in them, and .will employ tha
fishermen 24 hours before they are sub
dued. Great caution must be used in
striking them, as with a blow of the tail
they will stave in the boat if it is within
reach. From 60 to 100 of then, may
sometimes be seen together off the coast
of Ireland basking in the morning sun
in the latter part of June.
Three ancient cakes of copper from
Wales, supposed to have been mined
there by the Bomans during their occu
pation of Great Britain, were the sub
ject of a paper read not long since at a
meeting of the Archaeological Society.
A member declared that, the Romans
valued copper at 440 times its present
price.

xml | txt