The semi-weekly news. [volume], January 26, 1882, Image 1

About The semi-weekly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1879-1882

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VOL. VI. NO. «r--.'MOUNT HOLLY, BURLINGTON CO., N. J., THURSDAY JANUARY 26, 1882.
.'ti...'".,- ___
81.00 A YEAR.
»■! htitMAiU K)A L
And with the New Year
Many thought* aria*. < t"r s';
W *
THE HAT10HAL QOMUm *:j£
” (aid Mr*. 8poopendyke,
baby's
ob tbe
g°
mils
Spoopeodyki
km job got hold at newf tt t*v >m.
“I mi reading about Mr. Guitoau,”
replied I
thought bow moot better it J»uet be
to be ea tepett''4hku‘hW>W.air}<fcio^
goee
what he
tiona and
almanao just
when he
about the caael That’a why I asked.
If a man kaowa
prove that he don’t, but if be U an
expert, be juat iweare that a man who
bothers him is pryaj puithat jp&JC,
“Is’pese you think I’ve had no
Bueh axperUHree in idiocy at home1
that I oould nuke a fortune as an ex
pert,” Bettered Mr. Spoopendyke.
“I tali you they are iatofllgiae asm.
They make up their
■do their opinions, aooorihng to law.
Wt Vi the revised statute, at large
providtiMfcv idiotij lnBttioit hibiUuJ
drunkards and married women, I'll go
ms?
pen
iy.
into the bujdueml'
dyke wiakmrafh!
as he thought cv<
“Well,” rejoined Mrs. Spoopea
business at large. I didn’t know that
Affotj
“No, they don’t aiihar!” retorted
Mr. SpOopOedyke. They go to aWhaP
whether thp;aua is lnsaae or not,"
But what do th-y want to drown
him ferf*'argued Mrs. Sfioopeadyke.
“There they were all talking at oaee
and getting along pleasantly, whoa all
of a ludden Mr PoekbiU and Oeloael
Corker wad Mr. Savage threw Mr,
Guitoau JaM tbe dock!"
“Brew//yeW tterhtr’e Mhftl h|Vl
tsiuk a mw tott w u-ot a notion us
a neatly pond with greea mom oo
top of iff«>oee*hit taa iaak mM
appropriation to
navigable? It's a poa I toll ye; a
railed off poa ia tho ooart room,
whoro they pat prisoners! Guiteeo
bothered the experts eo that they bed
totpat to ia *er44l. Bhiok ijoa
understand bow?”
“Of ooaree,” aaeeated MrJ*. fipod^
endyke, "but why dida’t they pot Mr,
SooTiU^sk lilt
They are trying to bother tho exparte
just as much as Chfftesu did,
won’t lot the poor men alone." 1
“Don’t you know the differ«noe
MW VoWSriV twBICFj
—iminel?
between alawya$ n erimii
rippled Mr. Spoopondyke, ‘*>r4Nhat
too loo < di^nbtiojjt^w joa?". Seed
and Sebrille 'are defending Guiteau
Porter and CorkhiU and Davidge are
prosecuting him. Of oouree hie law
yer wiUoroM-aaaiaine th*. witneeeee
againet him. Pat it’e no nee to ex
a • * ' 4 • * •< % * ® *dT* W
plain anything te you. .
"I, understand, that mobb,” ft
understand that
tuned Mrs. Spoopendyke, "but I don’t
underetand whal Judge Cox means
by pitching into the lawyers and over
riding their questions. The drtt he
kam the eiperte wtH swear thrt he
ia aa asymmetrical, ‘ and thew he’ll be
|Ut ia the dock with Guiteau,
M-m
it will go,{4&W4» bi»h. * tefl {on?
• judge can’t be too careful how be
behaves,tills.' 8pOopeodyke
pinned the baby's skirts around its
MkoetHed out it’s dress.
“Wow !” yelled Mr. Spoopentyke,
unable for the instant tier ithro* j his
feelings into any coherent form of
preme CofrA? |WMat M’# »upp«?ae a
judge » far,WMbnitUte r . Think Ire
sits arnund to ease the prisoner, turn
I turn about T Got some kind of
id id* that be fa^.dod gaated
[, on etiquette, with mottled
M and yellow bidding, and Tom
’rom Fanny, on the fly? I tell
he presides, and anybody but a
hi If wilted woman who. didn’t think
m
r keeis aad reason with the
nhRt&tf wouldo't need B
ot jt more times
a measly idiot of herself i”
than she
TrJ ‘ ^
he presides, it’s all right/' re
joined Mrs. Spoopendyke, with a sigh
ofjreliefji
ihU to
kedda
e went
timent,
his views, and he
wes only helping the proeeontion to
wes only helping the proseontw
iA AMof .GsUaan’e Ways before
, -.Mr.. Spoopendyke-wlrew off his
^mthiU '‘IhlehfliKD ftfed tbo pieces
into dilerent corners, and waded into
4*4 with the- stern reflection that
b14^ wM»
kattaad a ante book fell of bad lec
tofes on repealed statutes to be si
modern law school!”
/ don’t owe,*’ muttered Mrs.
Spoopendyke/ “I like those experts,
would go into
may not hang
but they’H> find ths jury
isaeanA U • Deatas ma i 1 a ^ ■
IIMUV) HBU DZT. rOtsor will DnTy 19
look up some other kind of a job, for
this trial Mfolvt
With^
the nations
ition of
is Spoop
oompueation
endyke undressed the baby, dropping
^h»Utto *M*» Jfr^ ^opDsudyke
i merit
noroiag
t-ftf t(
now fitra u it tot avoid Utttning
and liking to lisMh to k toandat about
Onr neighbor, • ‘ At , -Aj >>V\
How time lift would he without
trouble and dlflha Ides to nvevooms.
How few velao or anltlvate a good
pair of long*. *
•aMVwifct* ** i*> ft any of
the aged should Make themselves no
I ftaTMlFftW*
‘Hov.WwgMi « toll1
How many men and* women are
there without a weak epot somewhere.
flow whiskey does bring out a
man’s true nature and show the qtika
than the life of some men and worn ea
How few new brooms, after all,
sweep clean, unless, there is a clean
sweeper behind them.
How sorry sotpe people are for .faults
the/ will pommit again next month
How awfully ’awftii it would be if
everybody without warning told the
truth.
How we do loVe to shot our eyes to
what we fear may be a reality.
floW much good we oould do were
we rioh,
How little good we do when we are
rieh
How epntaeryjaed enter trie .seems
one itho thinks for hi A or herself.
Sunday-school Superintendent i—
“When yon are talking about tor
bet ranoe, don’t, forget to mention
never been sink.
*^fow much better is a “dogs.g life”
5 How the Irishman Converted
the Jew.—A ‘'rale hard sinner,” a
Mative of the Emerald IbIp, went to
confession the other day to his parish
priest, and so shocked the clergyman
frith a reoital of his sins, that he ex
claimed-—‘ My son did you ever do a
good deed in your life?” ‘‘I did,’’
said Pat, ‘ I o averted a Jew once,”
“Bow was that?” inquired the con
fessor. “You see,” said Pat, “the
long-nosed, pork atiug, munhering
^laggard fell overboard, and I put
aftsr his oarcase in a bote. [ cased
him by the topoot jnst as he was go
iog down the seoond time, and pulled
;hi» head above the anrfaoe, says I, “if
I save you, will yon be a Christian?”
Pi Won’t says he; and with that I de
posited his head about three feet an
der water again. Palled him up once
more, and pat the question anew, will
you be a Christian?" to which he
again answered, “No," gruffly. I
gave him another dip, and brought
him up puffing like a porpoise. “Will
you be a Christisn now? says I. Y-e-s,’’
says he, and his teeth clattering for
all th« wotld like a monkey that burned
hie toss. “Wen, tsys I, you are now
converted, and yph’d better die in the
faith; and so saying I held him under,
till his spirit had departed."
How to Spoil a Hesband.—
Snarl at him.
Henpeok him.
: Fiiiifault WithfatijBWuH . I,
- Keeptan untidy house.
Humor him half to death.
Boss hiuiett of hisboots.
Always have the last word.
B| extra eross on wash-day.
Qaarrel with him for trifles.
Never have a meal ready on time.
Bun bills witbont his knowledge.
> Let him sew butties on his shirts
Give as much as he can earn in a
month for a new bonnet.
Tell him aa plainly as possible that
you'married him for a living.
Raise a row if he dares to bow
pleasantly to and old lady friend.
Provide any sort of a piek-ap meal
for him then you don’t expect stran
gers.
Get every thing the woman next door
gets, Whether you ean afford it or not.
Tell him the children inherit all
their mean traits of character from
his side of the family.
IM it opt sometime when you are
good and mad that you wish you had
married some other fellow you used to
go with, r;v- jp , j
Give him to understand as soon as
possible after the honeymoon, that kis
sing is well enough for spoony lovers,
bat that for married folk* it is . oon
founded silly. If he takes tn kissing
theoook or ehusbtrmaid after that
don't be too hard on him.
Wby hi Objioikd.—A orude old
farmer living on the line of ooe of
the jl**** Uilroad surveys end who it
owdmmm of large dlmensfena,
with huge twinging doora on both
Mdaa, observed a poeae af surveyors
busily driving a row of stakes through
hit premises that extlnded to tht vary
centre of hit Mg barn, Sauntering
leisurely toward the trespassers jWtyh.
•n air savoring somewhat of indigna
tion he addressed the leader of the
“Surveying for one,’' was the reply,
“Gain’ threw my barn?” ’ •
“Don’t see how we oan avoid it.'
“Wall, now, so lather," taid the
worthy farmer, ealkerlate I've got
snmthin’ tew say about that. I want
you tew understand that I’ve got eu«n
thio’ else tew dew besides runnin’ out
tew open aad shet (hens, doom t very
time a train wants tew go thro*.”
? 'I ■ --:->- , . •
T|e Jork jitt the roads: Graoefully
dropping on one knee he busie 1 him,
self fastening a skate to the pedal
phenomenon which she exhibited to
hie astonished gas*. All at onee he
stopped in the very middle oi hie task
and appeared to be refieotiog profound
ly. “George, darling,” she naked,
what are thinkiog about f” “I’m
thiokitag,” he answered abstractedly,
with a look that indicated how deeply
ho was affected by the idea that pose
sewed his mind, “I'm thinking, dear*
whether, if Noah had had one of your
shoes he would have found it neoes.
sary to build the ark." from that
moment their souls posted toward the
infinite future by different eouraee.
Holiness is not the way to Christ,
but Christ is the way to holioess.
The Arab who invented alcohol died
900 years ego, but his spirit still lives;
The death is announced at Berlin of
Herr Mauser, the gunsmith of Wurtern
berg, who in 1371 invented the Mauser
rifle.
Emcoant Toiui Bukcakatioms.—
Hair dressing, and restorative is found in
“Ixindon Hair Color Restorer.” It seldom
fails to restore gray or faded hair to its
original youthful color and beauty. Fall
ing hair is checked by its use, and it pro
duces a growth of beautifnl young hair
soft, glossy, and luxuriant. It certainly
is the most cleanly and effective hair re
storer now before the American people.
A. A. Gibson, Barrytown, Duichesa
county, N. Y., writes: Dr. Swayne & Sou’
Philadelphia: Gents—I enclose post
office order for eight dollars: please
send me one dozen 'bottles of the “Lon
don Hair Color Restorer.” It has
stopped my hair from falling, aud restored
it to its natural color. It has proven.'
satisfactory in every respect. The “Lon
don Hair Color Restorer” can be obtain
at all the leading druggists at 75 cents a
bottle.
okin unease*.
‘Swayne’s Ointment” 1 Cores the most
"Swayne’s Ointment” J inveterate case*
“Swayne'8 Ointment” / skin disease,such
'‘Swayne’s Ointment” \ as tetter, salt
“Swayne’s Ointment” f rhenm scald
“Swayne’s Ointment”! head barber’s
“SwayaVa Ointment” / itch, sores, all
“Swayns’s Ointment” \ crusty scaly itch
“Swayne’s Ointment”/ ing, skin erup
‘ Swayne’s Ointment” \ tions, and that
“Swayne’s Ointment”/ distressing,com
‘“Swayne's Ointment” \ plaint, itching
“Swayne’s Ointment” 1 piles, the only
“Swayne’s Ointment” / effectualcure.no
“Swayne’s Ointment” > matter how ob
“Swayne’s Ointment” / stinate or long
standing. Ask for it and take no other.
It cures where all else fails. Sold by all
prominent druggists.
The champioD nine of the country—
the femi-nihe. ' ’
Ouitean sit a he is s mewhit [ nzzled
It is generally hoped he wi 1 soon get the
hang of things.
PxlmI Itchiho Pilb*!—The symp
toms of itching piles are moi****ea.. tike
perspiration, intense itching mo^ .( flight,
seena assfpln ,w6«ma wwe crawling
or about the rdfctum. The more you
scratch the worse they itch; very distres
sing. The private parts are often affected.
Dr. Swayne’a Ointment is the most effec
tive remedy extant for this tormenting
complaint. Gives rest at night without
the desire to scratch. Also has no equal
in quickly eradicating tetter, itch, salt
rheum, erysipelas, barbers’ itch, pimples,
all scaly, crusty, itchy skin eruptions.
Here is the proof: “Certainly the best
rtmedy eVer used in my practice," Dr.
Cotton, Woodstock, Vt.; “troubled with
itching piles for over twenty years, it
cured me completely,” L. 8. Messer, En
field, Me. Sent for fifty cents (in three
cent stamps), three boxes $1.25. By Dr.
Syawne &8on, Philadelphia, Pa. 1 Bold
by all druggists.
I Deem it My Duty To Tell
what Dr. Swayne’s Compound Syrup
of Wil'd Cherry has done for me. I
had a violent cough, night sweats,
sore throat, great weakness, with se
vere attacks of hemorrage, gave up
all hope of recovery I am cured, a
sound .and hearty man.
, ! \. „h , ,umj£dw.uu> H.Hattaos.
f. .Engineer of Sweeney’s Pottery,
1334 Judge Avenue, Philadelphia.
jQver twenty-five year* have elapsed
and I still remain a hearty man.
Many are eufferinq from Cold«
Dry, patched, sore throat, losing flesh,
bronchial and asthmatic attacks. All
these dangerous symptoms are entirely
cured by “Dr. Swarne’s Compound 8yrup
of Wild Cherry., The first dose eives
relief, end toe wont oough end eore
lunge yield to Its heeling properties.
Sold by all druggists et 25 cents end $1.
The urge else is the most economioal.
Write to Mrs. Lydia E. Pinkhem, 283
Western Avenue, Lynn', Mass., for nadies
of ladies that have been restored to per
feet health by the nee of her Vegetable
Compound. It is a positive cure for the
most stubborn cases of female weakness..
HOW TO TREAT YOUR WATOH.
Wind it up at the same time every day.
Keep it in as even a temperature as pos
sible. Sudden transition from heat (0 Cold
may cause the mainspring to braak. {
yon. would keep it clean never pot it in
any pocket except one of leather. Thege
pockets which us lined with cloth, 'cot
ton or calipo, give by a certain friction a 1
fluff which enters most Watch Casas and
w*kea Its way to the delicate parts of
‘be watch. Sea that tbe pocket is turned
and eieaeed often, end take an fid linen
handkerchief »nd wipe carefully ail Ae
dost from under the baeke, betel and
cap of the case. But above all you must
be sure that the Case fits firmly ai*d to be
sore of this, select one where the pkris
(center, backs, cep, Ac.) era each made
from one piece of metal.
Thy JAMES BOSS’ Patent gu*
FxiJEo ob Filled Gold Watch Ga»c
is so made, and not only does su»h a
Watch Case become stronger and fit more
perfectly, but it enables tbe tuanufectarer
to turn and foirn three pieoes of metal
(the outer ones being of gold and the
inner one of an inferior metaf) into shan't
for the round parts, making to all appear
ances sud practical purposes just ss good
a Watch Case as Ae solid gold, at about
one-half the cost to the purchaser.
Tbhre are nearly one hundred thousand
of these Watch Cases now earned and
their good qualities are acknowledged by
the same number of happy poei lessors.
All Jewelers keep them also illustrated
ctislogues for gratutions distrib ution,
HENRY’S CARBOLIC 8A.WK.
Ja the Best Salve (or Cuts. Bruises,
Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum, 'Renter, Chap
ped Hands,Chilblains,Corns anrl all kinds
of Skin Eruptions, Freckles anal Pimples.
Get Henbt’s Carbolic Salve ua all
others are counterfeits. Price 25 cents.
DR. GHMEN’U OXYGENATED" BIT t’KRS
ia the best remedy for Dyspepsia, Bilious
ness, Malaria, lnd ideation, and. diitases of
the Blood. Kidnv ys, Liyer, Skah, etc. *
After aiyteen, years constant suffering
D. R. V. G. cured me of Dvdpepsia.
f ‘ R. A. Be nta,
Cashier N*w York State Ban king Co.
Syraou ie N. Y
Guaranteed by all Druggists ly
You* D. R. V. G. has « red me oi
Chmu'e Diarrhoea, Urinal diflii ulties tad
Ciuruic Oyspepsia of 15 years standing.
Jam 9 Coaklev, Bell is)«t, N. Y.
Ue»t*nivec. by all lJrnggiafc If
1853. GIRARD 1880
FIRfC fNSURANCE COMPANY,
I'HILAUBLPHIA, PA
try. Its Uahilitias are rary small .audita math
ematical standard rary high.
A. 3.Giu.*tTt....Preaident.
Liabilities, including re-insurance
fund..k.,...k...1308,869.97
Net surplusover ell liabilities,inclu
ding Capital.I572.S38.29
It has always beau aud will continue to b*
the object of this Company to famish Its pa
trons with rtsssCT indemnity at the no trim
rates consistent with purser urm
SEL1ABLB AID OOHEKVaTITB.
gamins as to poll, 7 hollers,..-.187249840
First-class risks will hare even ad ran lac*
that inch a class is entitled to, ana all propos
als will be fairly and equitably rated.
Prudent business men will ahnn those eosa
panlsa whose chief claim to patronage 1s that
they insure cheap.
We oflbr Indemnity to all. Thanking the
public for their generous patronage in the past,
I bespeak its continuance, promising my best
ability thereto,
For Policies or Agencies Applyte
CUABIi£8 &t. HLOAN,
General Agent for Hew Jersey and Resident
Director.
Office In Mount Holly, Arcade Building.
Duinu&i-uu, vtilu a.. inuuoLL, uq,
“ , Bordentown, with W. H. Flynn, Ba
Correspondence wul receire promptattem
irllngton, with H. MoHett,
July *,187$-ly.
EW DRUG STORE!
fHHHI
, l CRAIO MOFFETT,
DRUGGIST, !
♦ NO. *9 MalnBt.. Mt. Holly, f
TO THK PUBLIC.
,T WOULD respectfully call attention
JL to the fact that I hare opened a
DRUG STORE
-i A. K Ballfie’a building,
JVf». (>0 Main Street
MOUXT HOLLY, It. J.
! ! A full assortment *1
DRUGS AMD MEDICINES,
(standard aad patent)
SOARS AND PERFUMES,
aad other articles In keeping with the bus
iness may always be found.)
Haring had an experience of It rears in
the business, and * years in Mount Hotly, I
feel comp- tent to attend to any calls. Pre
scriptions will pe carefully compounded un
der mr personal snpervl on and I hope
by striat attention to boil ness to merit a
share of public patronage.
CRAIG UQFFKTT,
Mo. SO Mala Street.' Meant Betty.
Apr.11,81.
Paper hangings
AND
WINDOW SHADES.
FALL STYLES
of WALD PAPER And WINDOW SHADES
JUST RECEIVED.
' Call and examine A« large a irtook to ao
loot from aa any retail store In the olty at
BOTTOM PRICES.
PAPER HUNGERS aent to alljparwof the
county.
FLOOR OILICLOTHfl;
to'ault all and; prior* lower 'than any la
wwis IO tilUi.
T'WMai?SSTONl
Opp. Prienda’ Meeting Haoae,
np-V 'HI.I y. Monnt Roily
Great Reduction
battled Wti’f
CHARLES N. LAMB, tuaoeeeor ta WtUlem
T. Euekman, wlU oontlnoe the budua at the
sew etore on
Jtftct Hr«M. Mount Holly,
and will btmlln HU the
BB8T AND FINEST GROCERIES
it
it the LmtMatt
Think ml for «eet hrore he *U1 eondnue t>j
thir dealing anfletrtot attention to
Etrteetr *? Seek.
wUnoe hj
hie oueto
Oallaad
mere to merit their future patronaee.
otemlna hi* ft LOO k.
OHABLB9 V. LAMB,
Mill Stbht, Mount Bollt
May#, '80-lr.
S'
[TOC KB
BOUGHT AND SOLD
on Commleelon and oarrled on lhvoraMe
terme.
Being Membera or both the Philadelphia
and New York S'ook axobangea and haring
a Prlrate Wire dlreot from our oflloe to New
York, we are prepared to execute orden left
with na promptly and eatlalaoiorlly.
De Haven & Townsend^
NO. M SOOTH THIS!* ST.,
PHILADELPHIA.
Orders In Mining Stocka executed In Phil
, New York and San Pranolaoo Itar
adelphla,
keu.
Mar ae-aly
M
ILLINERY t
TKIMMINGS
—AND
A>hkAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAlAUk
tFANCY GOODS!
A A
AAAAAAAAAAJLAAAAAAAAAAAJUAH
HERBERT S. WELLS,
SEW DRY GOODS STORE,
NO. 68 HIGH STRKK1,
BURLINGTON.
Sept. 12, '»L f
j oAkpm h. oahkill,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELLOR AT LAW
10i.Se HOLLY, Me J,
REHOVE1)
to Offices fobkmly occupied hr Jou 1
Slack, two doom below Couuty Clerk’. Office
Jan *-lm.
QHARLES SWAN MERRITT,
ATTORN El ami COUNSELLOR U UV
Jnlyl-TVdy,
Halt, street, Oppctiai bjae-jf.
For the month of January, 1882, in or
der to reduce our stock, we will allow a
reduction of six per cent, on all bills of
$1.00 and upwards.
DRESS GOODS
In Cloths,
Cashmeres,
Plaids,
With Plushes, Silks sod Novelties for
Trimmings!
Muslins,
Canton Flannels,
Tickings.
Shawls <£ Skirts!
Chintzes,
MomielCloths,
Calicoes.
Ladies’ Gossamer
CLOAKSi!
MENS’ WEAK
-LN
Cansimeres-Cottonade»
Gents’ Furnishing
Goods.
The Eighmie Shirt!
Uni aun dried $1.00
Laundried $1.26
with a fall 11 a* of
Scarfs, Ties and Bows.
A. fall line of
GLOVES.
For Men and Boys.
OLIPH ANTvCORTIS
ME W MIRR OR B UILDING,
MOUNT HOLLY.
CHARLES E. TRAYIS,
MAIN STREET, MOUNT HOLLY
XMilr 0>»««IU AtewU HoUi.
HOLIDAY ANNOUNCEMENT!
The Finest Line of Neckwear in Town!
JPST SUITABLE FQR If OLID A f PRESES TS.
A line Scarf for - • • • • -JO cents and upwards.
Fine Suspenders for : ; • 18 cents “
Fine Silk handkerchiefs, 5 0 cents “
4»d the Biggest Thing
In a Fine WHITE SHIRT
FOR OJTLT 99 CRMJJ,
CHAS. E. TRAVIS.
Geo. 1). Worrell,
MILL| 8TREKT, MT. HOLLY,
Plumbing, Gas and
Steam Fitting.
STOVES, BEATERS. RANG
ES, ETC. A SPEt IALI T.
Tin Roofing and
Spouting.
v
MILL 8TMBET--OM Herald Budding—MOUNT HOLLY.
Photographs! Photographs!
FINE CABINET SIZE PHOTOGRAPHS, THREE D)LL\RS A DOZEN-C
Fine Cabinet 8iee Photograph* reduced fr .m $3.00 to $3 00 a dozen. Reduction
ala > in other asm. Honaea and ground* photographed at special'raicx. Remember
the place
Lothrop’s Photograph Gallery,
40 NOBIS EIGHTH 8T.. FiiiWWLPaiA. *
iUT h-tdtm.