The Lambertville press. [volume], October 23, 1861, Image 1

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B. B. BLACKWELL,
LAMBEETVILLE, NT. J., OCTOBER 23, 1861.
EDITOR & PROPRIETOR.
[For the Lambertville Press.J
Rebellion and Freedom
BY I. P. L.
Eriends of Freedom swell the song,
Young and old the notes prolong,
Make the Union army strong,
And on to victory !
Lift you: banners, let them wave,
Onward march, your eountry save,
Who would fill a tritors grave
And bear his infamy.
Shrink not when the foe appears ,
Spurn a cowards guilty fear3,
Hear the shrieks, behold the t ?ars
Of ruined families.
See how many bosoms bleed
For our assistance, hear them plead,
Patriots let us iuterceed,
And crush this treachery.
Then will be the happy day,
And beneath its gentle ray,
Union will our conntry sway,
And reign trinmphantly.
WCiodsville. N. J. Oct. 17th 1861,
TRAINING
William Newell wap a strange hu
morist. In his boyhood days he had
been a very hard worker, having been
left at an early age an orphan, his
own bauds had kept him out of the
poor-house. He claimed to be the
smartest boy in town, and every holi
day he held himself in readiness to
prove his claim, if any chose to dis
pute it; and year after year he step
ped into the ring, wrestled with and
threw every sturdy young fellow that
dared show himself on the village
green. When he was twenty-one he
married, much against her father’s
wish, pretty Ida Lee, the miller’s
daughter. A few days subsequent
he received intelligence that he had
fallen heir to an immense fortune from
a distant connection in England, of
whom he had never heard before.
The fortune did not change William
although it did every one else in the
village, and people began to call him
Mr. Newell, or squire Newell, and he
threatened to whip auy one within an
inch of their lives who would call him
anything but plain Bill Newell. He
bought the large farm formerly owned
by Squire Flanders, where he had
.gathered the finest stock of blood
horses and dogs in the country, and
the farm of Bill Newell was celebra
ted for miles around as the best place
in t <e world for fun on a holiday.—
There was a constant routine of foot
races, horse races, cricket and base
ball matches, pitching quoits, throw
ing weights, sparring and fencing,
leaping and jumping, boat racing and
wrestling, and in fact all manner of
rugged maniy sports.
One daughter blessed the marriage
of William Newell and Ida Lee—a
charming girl, with all her mother’s
beanty and her father’s robust health.
As young Ida grew, she was made an
honorary member or all the boating,
cricket and base ball clubs about the
country ; and at the age of fourteen
she could sit a horse, handle an oar,
of fire a pistol with many an older and
more experienced head, and half the
young fellows in the country round
about had fancied themselves in love
with the young and pretty Ida ; but
their ardor was generally cooled by
the bold assertton of Newell that the
man who would marry his daughter
must first out ride him, out jump him,
out run him, whip him with the foils,
and gloves, and beat him with quoit
and cricket bat In vain Mrs Newell
called her husband’s decision absurd
and foolish, and tried to laugh him
out of it; and the hand of his daugh
ter remained unsought.
During the sammer succeeding Ida’s
eighteenth birthday, her mother deci
ded that she should see something of
the world beyond the Newell farm ;
and to this end a trip was arranged to
Niagara and Saratoga. Mr. Newell
raised uo objection, and the projected
tour was carried into effect.
At the Falls, Mrs and Missj Newell
made the acquaintance of a young
gentleman from New York—Alvert
Whipple, a young man of good family
education and fortune. Whipple fol
lowed the Newells to the Springs, and
his acquaintance ripened into intima
cy, and in due time he proposed for
the hand of Ida. Mrs. Newell told
uim candidly of her husband’s peculi
arities ; she favored his suit, thought
him a capital match, would be pleased
to welcome him to the farm, but she
warned him of what he might expect
from Mr. Newell.
Nothing daunted young Whipple
returned to the farm with the ladies,
and was introduced to Mr. Newell,
who look at him attentively from head
to foot and muttered :
* Poh ! a milksop—a candy boy !
He couldn’t run twenty rods to save
his life !’
‘ But he is of excellent family,’ sug
gested Mrs. N., in an undertone.
‘ Good pedigree, hey ! Fine blood
you say ? Well, I hope you won’t
disgrace it. Do you ever put on
gloves?’ he said turning round to
Whipple.
‘ Gloves ? Oh, yea, sir, I wear
gloyes, sixes,’ was the reply.
‘ Pshaw, boy, I don’t mean that;
do you ever put on boxing gloves ?
Do you ever spar ?—practice I mean,
in the manly art of self-defence V
‘No, sir.’
4 Do you play at cricket V
‘ No, sir.’
4 Do you wrestle ?’
4 No, sir. ’
‘ Row ?’
4 Not much, sir.’
4 Ride ?’
‘ Some.’
4 Hnnt V
4 But very little, sir.’
4 Shoot ?’
A mere trifle.’
4 Well, my dear bov, look here, you
are a good hearted fellow enough, I
guess, but your body isn’t worth a far
thing, your limbs are no longer than
a bafstick, and you couldn’t stand on
your pins against a strong breeze, any
way. Now, my lad, if you have any
idea of my daughter, Ida, I wish you
to understand that the man who mar
ries her must first be able to throw
any man in the township ; he
must be the best man with the gloves,
ritlc and bat in the country ; in fact
he must beat me in all these ; then I’ll
talk with him about the girl. If you
take the idea of a course of training,
you are welcome to my house as long
as yon chose to stay ; but mind yon,
don’t let me catch you making love
until you are the best man.’
‘ Out,’ interposed young Whipple—
* There are no buts in the matter,
my young man ; you must either train
or travel. Why Ida would make a
pretty wife for a young dandy like
you ! She can ride and row and
shoot, and 1 will bet a dollar that she
can bowl an underhand ball on the
wickets every time.’
As yang Whipple did not know
what bowling an underhand ball
square on the wicket meant, he did
not accept the wager, but alter giving
Mr. Newell’s proposition a considera
ble thought, he decided to remain on
the farm for the ostensible purpose of
training, it could do no harm, and
something might turn up favorable to
his suit. So he informed Mr Newell
of his decision to remain at the farm
and try a little t raining.
‘ Well, I’m glad of it said the best
man in the country, and you may as
well commence first as last, you shall
ride with us to n’ght. Ida goes with
us, and you shall ride black Dick, he
is the fastest runner in the stable.
Away they went four miles out and
return, and Whipple in the saddle of
the hardest horse lie had ever mount
ed. lie was not fond of horse back
riding at; be t, and when he threw
himself from the back of Black Dick,
who had neither cantered or trotted
a single step since he left the door,
the young man was almost inclined to
give up training whet e he was; but
as he assisted Ida from her saddle, and I
waited on her into the house, he con
cluded to stay a few days louder, and
retired to his room, deciding not to
ride Black Dick again in a hurry.
The next morning he was awakened
by a terrible pounding on his chamber
door, accompanied with explicit com
mands to get up and dress, for there
was a fox. As Albert did not under
stand a word that was said, but only
had a confused idea that he was wan
ted for some purpose, he dressed him
self hurriedly and went below whore
he saw' the farmer and his servants
leading out and saddling horses.
* Come, lad hurry up,’ said Newell,
he cant have more than two or three
miles the start of us.’
‘ Who’s got the start ?’ asked Al
bert, in wonderment.’
‘ The lads and dogs, by this time, I
hope. But get into your saddle, we
are all ready.’
Hardly knowing what he did, the
young man mounted the horse near
est him, and in a moment after the
party rode briskly off. The horse was
a better hunter than the rider, and in
spite of all he could do, Albert kept a
good position in the chase. Two
hours riding brought them in sight of
the dogs, and a follow of another hour
drove the fox to his hole. By this
time Albert had become so excited in
the affair that he was the first one to
spring from his horse and begin to dig
out his prey.
Prom this day lie took hold of the
sport, as though he liked it. To be
sure there were times when he felt a
little squeamish in the matter—when
he put on the gloves with one who
would knock him out of all kind of
time or bring the claret too freely, but
he took hold of the matter in good
earnest, and in a few weeks was by no
means a poor competitor. All sum
mer long Albert devoted his time to
training, and in the fall he could show
as good work as the best of them. la
the closing ericket match of the sea
son being married versus single, his
bowling and batting scored better than
Newell’s—he could ride or row with
any man in the country—he conld cov
er a half dime afc twenty yards every
time ; there was not his mach at broad
swords or single sticks among his ac
quaintance, and there were but few of
the gentlemen who met at the farm
could be induced to put on the gloves
with him. Yet Mr. N., would always
evade the subject of matrimony when
it was introduced, and tell Albert to
wait a few weeks, that everything
would be fixed all right in a short
time, until the young man had grown
tired of that story.
One evening while they were sitting
at the supper table—it was after the
last day’s sport of the season—which
had closed with a wrestling match, in
which he had thrown all who offered
themselves, and closed by tripping
Newell three times—that gentleman
remarked:
I Well my young man, I didn’t ever
expect such work from you ! I am
proud of you !’
‘ And willing to giva me your daugh
ter ?’ asked Albert.
‘ Certainly man. But you musn’t
marry yet ? a young fellow with yonr
pleck don’t need a wife ; besides my
daughter is very young ’
‘ So am I young. *
II know it, and you musn’t think of
marrying yet.’
‘ Mr. Newell, excuse me Bill Newell
I came to vour farm for one object ;
I consented to remain here and be put
through a course of training that,
nearly killed me, for the purpose to
accomplish that object. You know
sir, that I am now a Milo lu strength
and a perfect Nimrod to hunt. I can
beat any thing in the country—even
yourself—and now I demand your
daughter Ida.’
‘±5ut you must not marry this fal!,
stop with us this winter, there will be
plenty of hunting and plenty of game.
You may marry in the spring."
'Sir, if you insist on my remaining
single and stopping here this winder,
yon will be sorry for it, mark me, I’ll
run vour dogs and horses to death,
I’ll have your servants away with me
in the chase week in and week out,
and when I come home, I’ll bring all
the young fellows from the village,
and play a game of ball in the parlors
I’ll convert one|of your upper cham
bers into a ring and we’ll spar and
westle all day, and when I have bea
ten every one else, we’ll have you up
there, and I’ll knock you down till
you can’t get up again—I will turn
the trellis orer which the grapevines
grows at the rear of the summer bouse
into a tenpin alley, and I’ll make a
cock pit of the summer house, and
have a brace of fighting oocks down
here from the city ; in fact I’ll raise
the very devil about the house unless
you consent to my marriage with Ida.’
1 Bur, ray dear fellow—’
‘ There are no buts in the matter
sir; either you must consent or suffer.
1 have fulfijled my part of the agijee
ment; you must fulfil yours.’
‘ But Ida don’t want to marry.’
‘ Yes she docs, sir. ’
‘ How do you know V
She toid me sj herself, this raojm
ing.’
Mr, Newell stood for a moment c
templating the matter. It was v
evident that he had caught a
tar; so he put as good a face on
matter as possible, and rang the
m
Ha
i »ry
n
e
11,
Ih
saying :
‘ If Ida is willing I shall not <pb
jact of course. Are yon willing to
marry this rattlehead V asked the ;c
centric father, as his daughter cmo
into the room.
If you wish it father. You know
I am very obedient. ’
* Take her, vVhipple take her : 3 ou
are worthy of her. But mind, don’t
you ever knock your father down, ?or
it wouldn’t look affectionate.’
A few weeks after there was an un
usual stir, even for such a lively pi; ee
as the Newell farm. There was a bri
dal party, and a right hearty welcome
for all who chose to coma. There
were scores of ingoers aud ont, and all
the village wished them a lo ng and
happy life.
Shoddy anil Shoddy Ulilis.
There are now no less than jsix
shoddy mills in full operation in this
state, four or five of which are located
on the Hudson river. They are do
ing a large and handsomely paying
business. Woolen rags are worth
$5 and $10 per ton for making shoddy
cloth. Fine black scraps are worth
$100 to 150 per ton. The shoddy
manufacturer passes them through a
rag machine, which tears the rag to
wool, and cleans it of dust. When
reduced to soft wool, the shoddy is
saturated with oil of milk, and mixed
with new wool in a large proportion
as possible. White shoddy is used
in blankets and light colored goods,
and the dark descriptions of coarse
cloth, carpets, &e., The shoddy is
the product of soft woolens, bu; the
hard or black cloths, when treatec in
a similar manner produce mm go,
which has a finish that may deceit > a
good judge. It is used largely in
felted fabricks. Shoddy in the u oth
and accumulate between
lining.—Herald.
it and
the
Subscribe for the “ Press. ”
iswIlMwras.
A. IVew Yankee Doodle.
BY RALPH RANDOM.
Yankee Doodle came to town,
To view ‘the situation,’
And found the world all upside down.
A rumpus iu the nation ;
He heard all Europe laugh in scorn,
And called him but a noodle ;
‘ Laugh on,’ he eried, 1 as sure’s your born,
I still am Yankee Doodle.’
Chorus—Yankee Doodle, Ac.
He found the ragged Southern loons
A training like tarnation,
They’d stolen all his silver spoons,
And rifled his plantation ;
‘ I’ll wait awhile,’ he quietly said,
‘ They may restore the plunder :
But if they don’t, I'll go ahead,
And thrash them well, by thunder !’
Chorus—Yankee Doodle, Ac.
And then the lovely Queen of Spain
Told him in honeyed lingo,
That she had courted—not in vain—
A darkey in Domingo ;
‘ My dear,’ said he, if you will roam
With all the male creation,
Pray, don’t come here—I can’t at home,
Allow amalgamation.’
Chorus—Yankee Doodle, Ac.
The British Lion slyly eyed
His bales of Southern cotton—
‘ Dear Yankee Doodle,’ soft he cried,
‘ That stuff is slave begotten :
A brother’s tears have bleached it white,
It speaks your degredation,
But I must have it wrong or right,
To keep away starvation,’
Chorus—Yankee Doodle, Ac.
‘Hands off! hands off! good oousin John,’
Said quiet Yankee Doodle,
‘ I am no braggart Don,
Who’ll bear the system feudal :
I’ve beard you prate in Ex’ter Hall,
Of sin and slave pollution,
But now I see ’twas blarney till,
You love ‘ the institution.’
Chorus—Yankee Doodle, Ac.
‘ Ealse words and deeds, to high and low,
Bring righteoue rctribation ;
And cousin John mayhtip you know
The frigate Constitution !
She now is but a rotten boat,
But 1 have half a notion,
To set her once again afloat,
And drive you from the ocean.
Chorus—Yankee Doodle, Ac.
‘ And if, in league with her of Spain,
With all the past forgotten,
You dare to lift the hand of Cain
In aid of old King Cotton,
Be sure you guard those costly toys
You call your ‘ broad dominions,’
For I have lots of Yankee hoys
Can flog your hireling minions.
Chorus—Yankee Doodle, Ac.
‘ I trust in God, and in the right,
And in the mighty nation :
And in this cause would freely fight
The whole combined creation :
For when, in Time’s impartial gaze,
The nations are reviewed all,
I know the meed of honest praise
Will rest on Yankee Doodle,’
Chorus—Yankee Doodle, Ac.
Lay thy plans with. prudence, and
be prepared for emergencies.
Cultivate thy mind carefully—it will
be a store of pleasing reflection.
When is a lover like a tailor ? When
he presses his suit.
Men wounded by the explosion of
boirb-shells are wounded moriarly.
A good many men are in the best
health when they are out of spirits.
If you wish to sleep soundly when
you go to bed pay the printer.
In all things be economical without
meanness, and combine utility with
elegance.
We are oftener more cruelly robbed
by those that enter our hearts than by
those who break into our houses.
To all men the best friend is virtue ;
the best companies are high endeavors
and houorable sentiments.
Melancholy sees the ‘ latter end ’ of
things as they will be, and not as they
are. It looks at a beautiful face and
it sees nothing but a grinning skull.
If we lack the sagacity to discrimi
nate nicely between our acquaintances
and our friends, misfortune will readily
do it for ns.
Tears are the magic blossoms of the
heart at parting, smiles at meeting.—
Sometimes they bloom at once ; then
joy is sorrow, and sorrow is joy.
‘ Mr. Crow, I bought a yard of nice
pork, to-day.”
‘ How oan you buy pork by the yard’
1 Why, buy three feet—pigs’ feet.’
Running the Gate.
Well I remember a wintry night
years ago. A large sleigh, fast hor
ses, and a jovial party of four, started
out from H-just at dark, solely
for running the gates on the long turn
pike before us. Then it was consider
ed a fine thing, and one to be boasted
of among some young men, to be able,
either through stratagem or the care
lesness of the keeper, to pass the gate
without paying the usual toll. Even
in the present day the idea is not obso
lete.
A smooth, shining track, a clear,
frosty moonlit air, robes and bells in
profusion—what cared we for princi
ple ? Not a whit; and away we went
as merry and reckless a company as
ever teamed ‘just for the fun of it.’
The mile-stones croweed thickly on
each other as we shot along shouting,
making merry over the chagrin and
disappointment of the keepers who
came out, a ‘little too late.” While
their hand was on it, the bird had
flown and only vacancy was there.
“ Keep a bright look out, now,
boys,” said our driver, as we neared
the next gate. We knew its keeper
well, an old man, earnest, honest, and
saintly. But the warm blood was up,
and had an angel been there we must
go through.
“ There he is, coming down the hill;
now for it!” shouted another, and
lashing the horses into a furious run,
we beg iii the race. Ah! t,» is wss
sport. JHow the blood leaped and
thrilled through the veins ! a string of
perverted human nature had been
struck in exact hai mony with its build.
Satan was chuckling over the influence
of the fascinatiug spell, pouring in
fresh draughts of the hot delirium ev
ery moment. Every nerve strained,
and each heart beat double, as we bore
down on the gate like a sweeping
hawk, and just as the old man touched
the heavy swinging bar, slid safely
through.
It was done, well done, we thought;
and checking the now maddened hor
ses, we looked back, there stood the
old man a> might an angel have stop
ped in his flight, and with one hand
pointed upward, we heard him shout
distinctly, above the uneasy bells:
“ Young men, there's ONE gate you
cannot run !”
It was as ice. The clear rioging
voice, that heavenly attitude, and
those not to bt misunderstood words,
had their effect. The arrow had flown
at a venture, but it had hit its victim.
The remainder of the ride was noisy
and apparently merry. The mirth
seemed hollow and forced, and soon it
was ended.
That warning voice, “ Young men,
there’s one gate you crnnot run,” nev
er left the ears of three of that gay
company till it brought them to re
pentance and a new life. The fourth,
scorning it, travelled life’s road with
the same uneoncern, trusting to ‘ run ’
the dark valley. But the road was
shorter and the gate nearer him than
he dreamed. When the black portals
loomed up, alas ! the gate was shut!
There are gates all along on life’s
road. They are set by a sovereign
hand, and conscience is their keeper.
Do yon ever ‘ run * them ? the gate of
prayer ? the gate of duty ? Bad bus
iness ! '* He that entereth not by the
door into the sheepfold, but climbeth
up tome other way, the same as a thief
and a robber.”
The Weather and the Wat*.
Cold, chilly nights in Virginia—
frost already appearing in the low
grounds! This is a meteorological
fact, full of meaning for the two ar
mies. Our own soldiers, it is report
ed, are “suffering somewhat—though,
doubtless, bv this time the arrange
ments have been perfected for supply
ing them with blankets and other
Winter gear. But what must be the
condition of Jeff. Davis’ rebel host,
sleeping blanketless in the night-fog
of Eastern Virginia, with the quick
silver down to the small figures ?—
Those hot-blooded, thin skinned fell
ows from Carolina, Georgia or the
Gulf States will have a chance to get
some fire taken out of them by the
sharp blasts from the Allegahanies and
the cold night sea winds. They have
relied on cottou to bully the world ;
it will prove powerless to protect
their own shivering limbs withal.—
There was a great deal of exultation
in the Southern newspapers, of this
Spring as to the havoic which the
Southern climate would play with the
Northern troops. But the tables are
now tnrne 1 We ha?e waited till the
frosts set in before attempting to
march into the heart of Dixie ; while,
meantime, the Southerners from the
warm Gulf borders are quaking at the
first taste of our upper latitudes. On
the whole, the effects of these early
frosts cannot be but to precipitate
matters with the rebel forces. Prom
physical cowering to moral cowardice
there is but a narrow interval. Great
is Farenheit—terrible to the South
rons is old Boreas!—N. Y Times.
Three things man never gets tired of
looking at—the sky, the sea, and wo
men’s faces. And why ? Because
they are never for two days alike.—
[Monstrous.]
Steam Husbandry.
Long reports are given in English
papers of the proceedings of the Royal
Agricultural society, which lately has
made a lengthened trial of the differ
ent inventions for saving labor in ag
riculture. Only of late years have the
makers of farm implements applied
steam to tillage yet says the London
Times :
Not only is the stationary, barn
work machinery of agriculture actua
ted by steam power, but the fundamen
tal labor of tillage if fairly mustered.
A steam engiue can distribute the ap
plication of its motive force over every
point of a wide irregular area, like
that of an, ordinary field, and plow,
trench, delve and scnffle, no matter
how hilly and uneven may be the sur
face, how unkind the temper, or foul
the condition of the soil. Not mere
ly as a practical problem solved by
unbusiness-like inventions, in cases
of partial experiment, but steam hus
bandry has assumed such extensive
proportions and excited such unpre
cedented interest in the agricultural
mind that we have many competing
systems of steam culture, and rival
firms doing a large trade in steam
driven implements. And when we
contrast the rapidity of extension
characterizing agricultural improve
ments available by the tenant farmer
with the sluggish advance of those
more permanent ameliloratious con
fined to the owners of land—as, for
instance, the spread of steam thresh
ing, which has created many great
factories within a few years, compar
ed with the stagnation of land drain
age and river reform, which in a long
course of time have not dried a tenth
of the wet grounds of England it is
not at all extravagant to anticipate
the certain and early substitution of
steam for horse power in one-third to
one half our tillage operations. That
is, some £12,000,000 worth of teams
will probably be replaced by a force
eating coal and wearing away metal,
instead of consuming for mere motive
power the oats and povender that
should make mutton and beef.
Fashion—What She Does.
Fashion rules the world, and a most
tyrannical mistress she is, compelling
people to submit to the most incon
venient things imaginable, for fashion’s
sake.
She pinches our feet with tight
shoes, or chokes with a tight necker
chief; or squeezes the breath out of
our bodies by tight lacing.
She makes people sit up at night
when they ought to be in the bed, and
keeps them in the bed in the morning,
when they ought to be up and doing.
She makes it vulgar to wait on our
selves and genteel to live idle and use
less.
She makes people visit when they
would rather stay at home, eat when
they are not hungry, and drink wnen
they are not thirsty.
She invades our pleasures and hin
ders business.
She compels people to dress gaily,
whether upon their own property or
that of others ; whether agreeable to
the word of God or the direction of
pride.
She ruins health and produces sick
ness, destroys life and occasions death.
She is a tormentor of conscience,
dospoiler of morality, an enemy to re
ligion, and no one can be her compan
ion and enjoy either.
She is a despot of the highest grade
full of intrigue and canning ; and yet
husbands, wives, fathers, mothers,
sons, daughters, and servants, black
and white, have voluntarily become
her obedient clave, and vie with one
another to see who shall be the most
obsequious.
The director tof a neighboring Lun
atic Asylum was paying a visit of in
spection to the institution a few days
since, when one of the lunatics took
him confidently aside and asked him
his business. “ t am one of the Di
rectors,” was the reply.
“ You come over pretty often, I
notice. ?”
Yes, as often as I think duty (‘alls
me.
“How much pay do you get ?”
“ Idon’t get any.”
“ Don’t get any.” reiterated the
lunatic, “ then yoq’d better leave be
fore Doctor W. finds you here, for
you must be crazy to work for noth
ing.”
Jones has discovered the respective
natures of a distinction and a differ
ence. He says that ‘ a little difference’
frequently makes many enemies, while
a ‘ little distinction ’ attracts hosts of
friends to the one on whom it is con
ferred.
Brig. Gen. Pierce, late commanding
at Big Bethel, Va., is now serving as a
private soldier in Col. Fletcher Web
ster’s regiment, thus giving the strong
est evidence of his devotion to his
country.
The Governor of North C ■ Una
has issued a proclamation forUiauing
any bacon or leather from being sent
out of the State.
A Remarkable Shot.
A man living at Natyglo, Bristol,
England, who keeps pigeons, came to
the resolution to decrease his stock
by shooting some of the yonng birds,
taking care he did not kill any of the
old ones. This was rather a difficul
ty ; but after he had shifted from one
side to the other, for some time, with
loaded gun in his hands, four of the
yonng birds stood well for a shot and
he fired. Down fell three pigeons
quite dead, and the fourth being wing
winged, fluttered about. But the
shot produced other results more re
markable. Seven panes of glass were
broken in a house at a distance, and a
basin of broth and spoon were thrown
down, the basin being broken and the
broth spilt. The crash so startled a
man who was at dinner, and who had
not been able to move for rheumatism,
for months without his crutches, that
he ran to the front door without them
this time, and commenced joumping
about in front of the honse, declaring
that he was shot in the forehead, al
though there was no mark te be seen.
The man who had discharged the
gun becomtng, alarmed, hastened to
the cripple as soon as possible, and
finding that he was not hurt, told the
women of the house that he would
pay all tne damages done to the win
dow. She, howe/er, was not willing
to receive a farthing, saying that it
was the best thing that had happened
to her for a long time, and she would
willingly pay all damages herself, as
they had been trying a great many
remedies before, all to no purpose ;
but now the man was quite cured and
she could not do it. The sportsman,
however, insisted on paying. The
cured man went to work on the mor
row, and has not touched his crutches
since. The sportsman belongs to the
2d Breckonshire Rifles, which may now
safely assert that it possesses one of
the best shots in the world—a man
who killed three birds, wounded a
fourth, broke seven panes of glass,
and cured a rheumatic cripple, all at
one shot.
Horace McConre, a Hartford bur
glar, now in jail for numerous offences,
was visited by his mother, on fast day
who asked the Sheriff how long h«
thought he would be kept in prison
on all the changes, and was told,
about seven years. McOoure appear
ed to think this was a pretty long
time, but the old woman seemed to
look at things on the brighter side,
and said, “ Never mind Horace, it
ain’t half so bad a* if ye had bsenjaent
to Fort Lafayette for betrain’ yer
country. ”
A Singular case of recognition, af
ter ten years separation, took place
at Keokuk, Iowa. Two of the tall
est men of rival volunteers were put
back to ascertain which company had
the taller men ; after the “ infant,”
6 feet 4 and a half inches high, had
beaten his competitor by a quarter of
an inch, they were introduced, and
proved to be brothers, who had been
parted ten years.
J. Davis of the C. S. A., is not
original in his doctrine of “ Let us
alone,” it was promulgated by a Fe
cessionist in early times, as recorded
in Mark, chapter 2, verses 22 and
24 :
‘ And there was in their synagogue
a man with an nnclein spirit, and he
cried out: “ Let us alone. ”
The history also adds :
“ And when the unclean spirit had
torn him, and cried with a loud voice,
he came ont of him.”
‘ Well John did you take take that
note I gave you to Mr. Smithers ?(
inquired a gentleman of his rustic ser
vant.
‘ Yes sir replied John I took the
note, ‘ but I don’t think he can read
it,’
‘Cannot read it!’ exclaimed the gen
tleman ; ‘why so John ?’
‘ Because he is blind, sir. While I
was in the room he axed me twice
where my hat was, and it was on my
head all the time.
“ I Don’t S«b It.”—Lord Nelson
was undonbtedly the author of this
popular slang At the celebrated na
val battle of Copenhagen, Nelson
who was determined to continue the
battle, but whose attention had been
called to a signal of the commanding
officer to cease hostilities, placed his
hand over his good eye and pretend
ing to look with his blind one said “ I
dont see it,” and at once ordered a
brisk renewal of the engagement.
In Cincinnatti, an Irishman became
angry at a darkey and broke seven or
eight bricks over his head without
doing him the least injury. The ne
gro, who was perfectly cool during the
operation exclaimed '* S ruck away
dar white man. Dis chile don’t mind
dem pebbles nohow. Yah ! Yah!’
Be honest, upright, and ‘good pay
masters’if you wish the Printer to be
your friend.