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Pertfy Amboy Evening J4ews FOUNDED 1879 AS THE PERTH AMBOY REPUBLICAN. An Independent Newspaper published every afternoon, except Sundays, by the Perth Amboy Evening News Company, at 5 King Street, Peith Amboy, N. J. J. LOGAN CLEVENGER,.Editor D. P. OLMSTEAD,.Business Manager TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: The Evening News is on sale at newstands and delivered by regular carrier in Perth Amboy, South Amboy, Woodbridge, Carteret, Tottenville and surrounding towns for 6c per week. By mail, postage prepaid, per year.$3-00 << “ “ six months ... - - 1.50 BRANCH OFFICE: Newark,.F. N. Sommer, 794 Broad St. Long Distance Telephone ... - - 98 . -■ - »»_HZ.—1 —-- ~ — Entered at Post-Office as second class matter. THURSDAY, AUGUST 20, 1903. While on your vacation Don’t for get to have The Evoniug Nows mniled to yon, and in this way keep in touch with your home doings. No extra ohargo for mailing, and address changed'as often as desired. ''•■x. While the people are talking about pavements it might be well to remember the plan suggested by Al derman Runyon several months ago. It was argued that, as so many of Perth Amboy streets needed naving and it was practically impossible to do it all at once or within tho next few years, the residental streets should bo paved up tho centor with macadam thus giving a crown to the streot and affording a good roadbed for vehicles. This is similar to the present paving on High street from Smith stroet to the river. > JJow that the city is to have more |f£jj|||Bey raised bv taxal ion a good share 9H^Hild no spent on i lie streets, grad curbing and paving them. IjSj^^Kadam is a good material for pure ■SBresidential thoroughfares where ■ - Bel is ligjht. It is cheap and. with reasonable amount of care, will There arc very few outside the principal in cities of this size the country. For a oominal sum, the city can keep in operation threo or four watering carts which will not only keop down the dust, but will aid greatly in keeping the street in good condition. We have already reforrod to the city of Eliza beth where the expense of sprinkling macadam is charged up to the street (repair account. With macadam, a large number of streets in Perth Am boy could be put in excellent condi tion next spring. The manner in which the funds for the carnival are coming in is very encou^^ing to those having the affair " 1 ' t i casions. There now seems to be no doubt but that the fund will go far | Electric Liu Itf In Rnthroonm, The using of electric light in bath rooms. either public or private, so it is asserted by an English engineer, is dangerous in many cases. Writing I to the Government Gazette, lie says that “the electric light switches most usually employed have brass covers and brass knobs, and it is quite pos sible that this metal work may be fn unsuspected contact with the elec tric supply wires. in such a case a person standing on a dry wooden floor, and using the switch, would not notice any defect, but anyone in the act of taking a bath, or standing with bare feet on a wet or metallic floor, and attempting to turn on the light, would receive a very severe shock, which would probably prove fatal even at tlje comparatively low pressure of rvolts.” Friend'* Fried Onion*. A new tenant in au uptown llathouse was promptly and forcibly r< monstrated with when she was found to possess an appetite for fried onions. Later, when she became acquainted with the other tenants-and they grew to like her, she rtlvely mentioned her fondness for dible and her disappoint ;he could never have them , of course, you can have never you want them,” the prime movers ier at the beginning, ouldn’t live in the returned the “Oh, but it’s swer, in seri , ,. u I I nbove tlio $500 mark and it is greatly to be desirod that it does. If sufficient money can be secured, the fireworks will equnl any of the displays to be seen at Manhattan Beach, therefore the citizens who think it is worth three or four dollars to go to that resort, might contribute that amount to the fund and have the display brought to them. This has the groat big advantage of being right at home so tnnt when it is all over there is no tedious ride in the train to spoil all the pleasure. Karitan bay has done its part toward affording amusement for everyone this summer and has quito made up for the bad season klast year. Both fish and crabs have been plonti ful and when one lots up a trifle, the other is on full forco so tnore is al ways something doing. Then, there have been two boat races and a carni val will soon be held. This is the proper spirit. It is not every city that has a water front and Perth Amboy should make tho most of hors. EDITORIAL COMMENT. If there is going to be a free for all race for the United States Senator ship in 11)05 Morristown has two mill ionaire citizens, Gecrge W. Jenkins and A. R. Whitney, who may enter for it. As neither of the gentlemen is known in New Jersey politics,, it is hard to imagine where either would come in a race between Senator Kean and the well-heeled Essex gang, now controlling State affairs.—Camden Courier. As the (late of the fall primaries approaches it certainly does seem that they who are putting np the loudest cries against the new primary law are those who will be hit the hardest. That clumsy, elephantine act, with all its faults, seems to bid fair to cleanse and purify politics. Party leaders see their prestige and power slipping from them as the primaries are put beyond the*r con trol. Is it possible that the dream of honestv in politics is about to be real i/.ed, locally at least?—Asbury Park Press. expected of a porter, he made his suc cession in connection with railways, and rapidly rose until he obtained a post as government director ol' rail ways. He became minister of finance some 11 years ago, and since then has grow'n more and more powerful. A sim ple and unostentatious man, M. De Witte does not lack impressiveness. He is a big man. He stands six feet one inch in his stockings and his frame is strong-limbed and muscular. His fore head is very high and full and his hair rises from it combed straight back with out a parting. Very Conservative. Conservatism is believed to be the distinguishing characteristic of Eng lishmen. A young man of Bermuda, of English descent, now residing in New York city, shows that the belief is well founded. He imports his collars from St. George’s Town, on the island w'here he was born, not because he has any prejudice against American-made goods, nor because he can’t get a col lar to suit his needs in one of the thousand or more shops where collars are sold here, hut simply that he is used to the sort that he imports. “It’s the kind I’ve always had. y’ know," he says, by way of explanation. Another L'nfortuitate. Walker—Dat wus dreadful distressin’ wot happened to Hungry Hanks out in Kansas. Rhodes—How wus it? Did he git ketched in de floods? "Wussun dat. He got fetched in de harvest field.”—Kansas City Journal. Saved by HlrfJe.M MeNHage. In the case of the French ship which went ashore on the Goodwins evidence jiven in the admiralty court showed hat by means of one short wireless nessage property to the amount of 1212.940 was slaved. W | ONE BASS THRICE TAKEN. Greeily Fifth Come* Buck After the Bait Although Wounded in the Effort. Sometimes a fish strikes because it it hungry, sometimes because it is irri tated, sometimes because it has got intc the habit of doing so. There are fish which, when a bait has been snatched away from them once, cannot be tempt ed to attack it again, though the hook has not touched them; there are others which will return to the charge, even though they have been badly scratched, says the New York Sun. Recently a couple of men fishing Irom a boat on Round Lake, in Sawyer county, Wis., caught a couple of dozen of bass and, having enough, returned to the water all taken thereafter. One returned a three-pounder whose side had been freshly scarred by a inuskal longe. A moment afterward the frog wras taken and he hauled out a fish scarred in the same place. He believed it to be the same fish, but to make sure clipped the edge of a back fin with his knife and put it in the water. After a couple of casts the frog was again seized and the fish, after a fight, was reeled in. It was the marked bass. To avoid taking this fish all of*the af ternoon the boat was moved away. Early in June two friends named Wade and Shively, fishing on Long Lake, Wis., lost two frogs apiece and all within five minutes. They were using small green frogs hooked through the lips. They believed that some extraor dinarily smart bass was after their hook. Then Shively got a strike and hooked his fish. A big fight followed, and when the bass was landed it was found that it had taken all five frogs. George Clark, of Chicago. fishing in nf 1\1 inU icrOTt t Vl 1 O spring, hooked a muskallonge when trolling with some sixty feet of line out. The fish Immediately rolled over on the line, wrapping it about its body twice or thrice, and gave a hard fight. After twenty minutes of work it was brought to the boatside and shot through the head. It weighed 12 pounds, not a partial larly big musky, but strong and game. Certainly it struck at the spoon be cause it was angry and not because it was hungry, for sticking out of one side of its mouth was the tail of a bass which weighed a pound and a half. Three inches of the tail and body pro jected; the remainder of the bass was firmly fastened in the maw and doubt less the tail would have been swallowed after the other part was digested if Clark and his spoon had not happened along. The musky made its fight with the bass sticking out of one side of its mouth and the hook sticking into the other side of it, and the bass was not loosened at all by the struggles. HOME OF CASHMERE SHAWLS. There In \nl Enough Demand for the Industry to Keep Workers Employed. A New Yorker who is now living in Shadipore, India, in the vale of Cash mere, the home of the beautiful Cash mere shawl, gives a melancholy ac count of the decline of a great and famous industry. These rare and costly shawls, which were so much prized in the days of our grandmothers and handed down as heirloms from mother to daughter, are still made in Cashmere, but their glory has departed, and the cheap and seductive aniline dye has displaced the soft and beautiful color ings in the old-time vegetable dyes, says the New York Tribune. The men who understand their ma nipulation have gone to more lucrative fields, or else they lie in humble grave yards hard by the straggling village streets, and the wild iris clothes their resting places with colors far more deli cate than any they ever mixed. The Cashmere shawl industry re ceived its death blow during the Fran co-Prusslan war, at the breaking up of the French court. The shawls were brought to France for the great Na poleon, and fashion immediately set her seal upon them. But when the court of Napoleon III. crumbled in the dust the YUftuu ui uii vwauim it ointwi icii VV11 U It, and famine and distress invaded the far-away valleys of Cashmere. Shadipore, which was once one of the centers of the Cashmere shawl indus try, is beautifully located in a valley at the junction of the Sind and Jhelum rivers. Numerous herds of cattle find rich pasturage on the surrounding hills, and the giant chenar, the glory of Cash mere, makes the valley look like a park. But the village has shrunk to a mere hamlet of rickety houses, and the j luxuriant vegetation fails to cover its bareness and poverty. What Is left, of the shawl Industry is carried on by boys and men, who earn from two to eight annas a day, or from four to J eight cents in American coinage. For this beggarly sum they sit all day long at the looms, which are almost as for lorn as themselves in appearance, for they date back to the days of prosper ity and are held together by a generous use of string. . There is just enough demand for the shawls to keep the industry alive. Rich Cashmerians like to wear Cashmere shawls, and also employ them as draperies, and a few find their way to Central Asia and Tibet. t'oiilrin’t Soar** IHm. “Colonel,” sain the fair hostess to the I hero of many battles, "are you fond of ' classical music?*’ “Madam,” replied the gallant colonel, “I’m not afraid of it.”—Chicago Daily News. | On thifltiuine Plnn«. Foreign AttjAe—Are they on the same plane so Ally? American—(A yes; thc^exclMagn STRATFORD HISTORIANS.’ ■elf-imposed Duty of Neighborhood Boys About the Home of Shnltespeure. In Stratford-on-Avon, where Shakes peareau pilgrims pay their summer homage, the schoolboys have a sober sense of duty. Their duty is to tell travel ers all about Shakespeare. The stranger in the dreamy town walks with delight through its quaint streets. Suddenly he looks down. Whence comes that buz zing? No, he is not mistaken. It comes from a group of schoolboys, writes Arthur Folwell, in Youth’s Companion. “William ShykeBpeare, the gryte poet,” they are almost humming in chorus, “was born in Stratford-on-Avon in 1564—the ’ouse in which he dwelt may still be seen—’is father in the gryte poet’s boyhood was ’igh bhiiiff of the plyce—one who shykes a spear is the meaning of ’is nyme,” and so on, In an even monotone, undisturbed and tran quil, almost like the distant hum of bees. That is about all the stranger can un derstand. The rest is lost in faint, in coherent mumblings, only an occasional word being at all intelligible. The boys do not look at any one in particular. One gazes vacantly across the street, another at his shoes, still another at the sky; but all unite in telling the one weird tale. For It, of course, they ex pect to* be tipped. The tourist, used as he may be to guides and their parrot-like descrip tions, is amazed by the Stratford boys. As he listens to their chant he is at first Inclined to say: “What’s all this about?” But he gets over that bravely. Inter ♦ l-iCi rotf APtl lrnntVi In File oi lifliPrl story of the bard, and he will start again at the very beginning, without stopping to answer the question. He will show no surprise, no vexation; he will simply commence all over again. The story the boys tell is not contained in any accepted life of Shakespeare. Any one who can comprehend it will find it a collection of local traditions. There is never a laugh in its delivery, not even a smile. It is just a self-imposed duty—a ceremony bequeathed by one generation of Stratford boys to the next. WANTED THE NOISE STOPPED. Wa»liInpton Woman Called In a Po ll cem ail to Subdue the WuilM of u Sick Dnby. A Capitol Hill woman who was told by a neighbor to “tell her troubles to a policeman” called in the officer on the beat and caused trouble for the blue coated guardian, says the Washington Star. “I’m simply sick and tired of being disturbed,” she said to the officer, “and I think it's about time the police were putting a stop to the noises.” The officer informed her that he was at her service and that he would do all in his power to assist her. He knew that some of her neighbors had Vnanaged to get crowing roosters and cackling hens decapitated and that other objectionable conditions had been removed. The wo man with so many troubles also knew of what her neighbors had accomplished and so informed the man in uniform. “And now,” she said, “I want you to do as much for me." All this time she had not told of the nature of the noises that had caused her so many sleepless moments and the of ficer seemed unable to get at the cause of her troubles. He had been detained past the time for him to send in his hourly call to the station and he was thinking of the explanation he would have to make. “But I guess this is part of polled duty,” he thought, "and certainly I’ll not get in trouble.” Making himself comfortable and feel ing satisfied that his explanation would prove satisfactory to the sergeant he listened until the clock indicated that another hour had passed. Then he be came uneasy and insisted that the woman should tell him what noise she wanted stopped. “The worst noise with which I have to contend,” the woman said, “is the cry ing of a baby. When the people with the baby moved into this neighborhood I was told that the young one had the three-months' colic, but that was four months ago, and the infant’s lungs are growing stronger every day. Will I have to stand this forever?” The policeman said good morning and departed. A Cliinnfnnn'N Pocket. A Chinaman's pocket is more diffi cult of access than the proverbial pocket of our grandmothers, which furnished the theme of many ancient jests. On occasion Chinamen produce. They buy for ready cash. Money comes from them at remote intervals, but from what exact location no Cau casian has been able to ascertain. Each Chink is a sort of a prestidigita teur. He contracts to purchase a thing and, presto! there is the money on the counter. There is no delving in the depths of coat or trousers, as with the white man. The coin materializes, as it were, before your eyes. Enterpris ing highwaymen have held up China men and dissected them, but discov ered no pockets. Where does the heathen carry his change? It is a question that vexes. It is easy to hold up a Chinaman, but until we locate his pockets it Is not worth while. Young Davidson was perhaps seeking to perform a public service. He could not be a pickpocket where there was no pocket to pick.—Chicago Chron icle. Pretty Near Right. Citlman—You hear of “journeymen carpenters,” ‘‘Journeymen plumbers” and all that, but you never hear of ‘‘journeywomen” at all. Funny, isn’t It? Subbubs—Yes, It certainly should be proper to speak of “journeywome* cooks." They merely journey from place to place.—Catholic Standard. CALENDAR OF LOCAL EVENTS Aug. 22—4th Ward Repbnlicans will meet at 127 New Bruns wick avenue at 8 p. m. to ^ instruct the voters in re gnrd to the new primary law. All ReplJnlicans are requested to nttend. Aug. 27—Excursion to Ocean Grove, Simpson M. i E. Sunday School. I Sept. 7.—Carnival. , Nov. 18, 14, 20—Fair, Presbyterian Chapel. THOMAS M. THICKSTUN Attorney-at-Law 122 Smith Street, Scheuer Building l’EKTH AM HOY, N. J. i _ I III ■ WIilllllHH 'Wit II ■IWPIHHIlIBHIWBIlMMinW—Wii Frkit Lupton. Hkrbkrt A. Bushnell. LUPTON & BUSHNELL SUCCESSORS to Lupton Sl Lupton ..Granite and Marble.. Monuments Headstones and Fencing. Your Patronage Solicited. | New Bruns'k Av. & Central R. R. CITY DIRECTORY. CHURCHES. Belli Mordecai, Ilobart Street. Pastor, Dr. M. Kopfstein. Friday, 8.15 p. m. Saturday, 10.00 a. m. Hebrew School, Saturday 1 p. m. Sunday School 9.30 a. m. Congregational (Swedish)—Gordon st. —Pastor, Theodore Englund—Sunday Ser vices 10.30 a. m. 7.30 p. m. Sunday School 9.30 a. m. First Perth Amboy, Hebrew Mutual Aid Society, Elm Street, P. Joselson, Trustee. Services, Friday 6 to 7 p. m. Saturday 8.30 a. m., 4.30]). m. First Baptist—Fayette st.—Pastor, Rev. Percy R. Ferris—Sunday Services, 10 and and 10.30 a. m. and 7.30 p. m. Sunday school 2. 30 p. m. B. Y. P. U. Friday 3.45 p. m. Prayer meeting Wednesday 7.45 p. m. First Presbyterian, Market st and City Hall Park, Pastor, Rev. Harlan G. Men denhall D. D. Sunday services, 10.30 a. m. and 7.30 p. m. Sunday School 9.30 a. m., 2.30 p. m., Junior C. E. 3.30 p. m. Y. P. S. C. E. 6.40 p. m. Prayer meeting Wednesday 7.45 p. m. Grade English Lutheran. Smith Street Pastor, Rev. E. J. Keuling. Sunday Ser vices 10.30 a. m., 7.30 p. m. Sunday School 2.30 p. m. Methodist (Danish) Madison Ave and Jefferson st.. Pastor, Rev. A. Hanson. Sunday Services, 10.30 a. m. and 7.30 p. m. Epworth League, 3.45 p. m., Sunday School, 2.30 p, m. Class meeting, Wed nesday and Friday at 7.45 p. m. Holy Cross Episcopal—Washington and Johnstone sis.—Kev.D. A. Willes, priest in charge—Sunday Services 10.30 a. m. and 7.30 p m Sunday School 9.30 a. m. Our Savior’s Lutheran (Danish) State St. Rev. V. B. Skov, pastor. Sunday services 10.30 a m. and 7.30 p. m. Sunday School 2.30 p. m. Simpson Methodist—High and Jefferson Sts. Pastor, Rev. S. Trevena Jackson, A.M. Sunday services 9.30 and 10.30 a. m. and 7.30 p. m.; Sunday school, 2.30 p, m.; Epworth League, 6.30 p. m.; I'rayei meeting, Wednesday, 7.45 p. m.; Bible training class, Friday, 7.30 p.m.; Young Gleaners, Friday, 4.30 p. m,; Junior Ep worth League, Friday, 7.00 p. m. St. Mary's Roman Catholic, Center St. Kev. is. i. u Connell, pastor; Kev. b. A. Mitchell and Rev. T. F. Blake, assistants. Sunday services 7.00 8.30, 9.30 and 10.45 a. m. 7.30 p. m. Sunday School 2.30 p. Hi, St. Paul’s German Church—South First street—Pastor Rev. Jacob Ganns. Services every 1st and 3rd Sunday of the month. Sunday School every Sunday at 2 o’clock. St. Stephens Komdn Catholic (Polish)— State St. Kev. J. Zielinsk, pastor. Sun day services, 8.00, 10.30 a. m. Vespers, 4.00 p. m. Sunday School 3.30P. m. St. Stephens Lutheran (Danish) Broad St. Pastor Rev. J. Christianson. Sunday services 10.30 a. m. and 7.30 p. m. Sun day School 3 p. m. St. Peters Episcopal—Rector St. Rector, Rev. J. L. Lancaster. Sunday services 10.30 a. m. and 7.30 p. m. Sunday School 2.30 p. m. W. C. T. U.—Meets at 27 Smith st. ev ery Sunday at 4 p. m. LODGES. A. O. U. W Meets Odd Fellows Ilall, Smith Street 1st. and 3d. Mondays. I. B. Mandeville, M. W.; J. S. Phillips, Sec’y., 7 Kearney Ave. B. P. O. E. No. 784. Meets K. of C. Hall, corner Smith and Rector Street 1st. and 3rd. Tuesdays. Dr. Frank Crowther, E. R.; W. A.' Crowell, Sec’y., Gordon Street. C. L. B. Father Quinn Council No. 88. meets 2d and 4th Tuesdays every Montn in K. of C. Hall. William Hallahan, sec retary. D. of L. Meet in City Hall, every Mon day evening. Counsellor Mrs. Maggie Herbert, High street. Secretary Charles Cluney 444 State st. Deeree pf, Pocohontas—I. O. R. M. ary 2d and 4th Friday at City Hall Stein metz, Pocohontas. Mrs. reenleaf, C. of R. Mrs. P. Erick W, F. adn A. M. Raritan Lodge No. 61 Regular Communications 2nd. and 4th. Thursdays, Odd Fellows Hall, Smith Street . C. F. Hill, W. M.; C. K. Seaman. Sec’y., A High Street. ™ F. of A. IL'ourt Amboy No. 58. meets at K. of P. IlarLfirst and third Wednesday. Thos. Lucas, tli'ief Ranger, E. J. Dalton Fin Sec., 95 Nv"’ Brunswick ave. G- A. R. Major James II. Dandy Post No. 43. S. G. jGarretson, C0,nma,1der> Adjt. Rev. E. B. French, Westminster. Imp d O. R. M. Po Ambo Tribe No. 65 Council Sleep every Thursday. Peter Axeen, Sachem, Hans S. Smith, C. of R. Andrew Jensen C. of W. Ira B. Tice Lodge No. 309 Rail-Road Trainmen, meet (Any 1st and 3rd Sunday Knights of 1’ythiiM Hall Cor. Smith and High streets. T.B Griffin Master Robt. Mulvainy Secret*, Charles Miller Tres urer. W I. O. of F., C'Mrt Keasbey, No. 3367. Meets last Tliw'sday o£ every month, K. of C . Hall, ^corner Smith and Rector streets. G. W. Fithian, Chief Ranger If. E. Pickersgill, Secretary, 77 Lewis st. I. O. O. F. Lawrence Lodge, No. 62 Meets Odd Fellows Hall, Smith Street every Friday night. Dr. Frank Crowther, N. G.; F. L. Herrington, Sec’y., Brighton Ave. Jr. O. U. A. M, Middlesex Council No. 63. Meets every 2d and 4th Wednesday in City Hall. Charles Cluney, Counsellor, G. M. Adair, Recording Secretary 203 Madison Av. K. of P. Algonquin Lodge, No. 44. Meets every Monday K. of P. Hall Smith and High Streets. Harvey Stetson, C. C.; Chris Meshrow, K. of R. and S. K. of C. San Salvadore Council. Meet9 every 21I and 4th Wednesday in K. of C. Hall, Smith and Rector Street. W A. Growney, G. K.; Recording Sec’y., *»• 1_1 » 1)1__ AiT_1_a c » —_* I. O. of F. Court Perth Amboy, No. 3043. Meets K. ot P. Hall, High and Smith Streets, every 1st and 3rd Tuesdays. John K. Sheehy, C. R. Peter Poulsen, R. S., 165 Elm Street R. A. Middlesex Council No. noo. Meets Odd Fellows Hall, Smith Street every second and fourth Tuesday. Henry McCullough Regent, N. H. Moore, Secre tary, 60 Jefferson Street. K. ot G. E. Meets in Odd Fellows’ Hall, Smith street, every Tuesday night. George Bath, Noble Grand; Frank B. Reed, Keeper ot Records, 129 Mechanic street. P. O. S. ot A., Washington Camp, No. 79. Meets every second and fourth Thurs day K. of P. Hall, cor. High and Smith street Fred Waters, President; J. M. Mills, Secretary, 210 Oak street. W. O. W. Perth Amboy Camp No. 19, meets at City Hall 1st and 3rd Wednesday. / Chris. Mathiasen C. C., Ur. II. K. Mason Clerk, 63J Smith street. Washington Literary Club meets in Un ion Hall Adalaide Building, on the Second Sunday of Each Month at 3 o’clock p. m. John Clark, President. Where He Fell Down. He could write a comic article that would make you fairly roar. And his after-dinner speeches were with humor brimming o'er; But when left to mind the baby his re sources were dispelled, And the funnier he tried to be the more the baby yelled. -Tit-Bits. _ THE SKOOXD FIDDLE. 1 I V She—Gracious! The last time 1 saw him he was the most opinionated fel low in town. How he has changed. He—Oh! didn’t you know he was re cently married?—Detroit Free l'ress. Where They «<». The men w ho deal In flower seeds, Would suffer like the dickens In business, if ft were not For neighbors who keep chickens. —Chicago Tribune. Jink's Fool IVotlon. Winks—Did you evgr notice that, during hard times, religious revivals al ways start up and the long-empty churches are sure to be filled? Jinks—Yes. “How do you account for It?” ^ “Salvation’s free.”—N. Y. Weekly. No More Jain. Mother (putting the boy out of the pantry)—How many more times.will ! have to tell you to keep a way from that preserve jar? Small Hoy (sobbing)—No more, mamma, the jam’s all gone.—Cincin nati Enquirer. The 'lliorn and the Rose. First Married Man.—Women are frightful gossipers, aren’t they. Second Married Man—Yes; but just think what a lot of entertaining in formation one would miss concerning the neighbors were they otherwise.— Chicago Daily News. An Explained. “Say, pa,” queried lit tie .Tolinny Humpernickle, “what’s the difference between a green grocer and the other kind?” “The other kind sell exclusively for cas-h. my son,” replied the old man. Cincinnati Enquirer. A I’ennlmlntlc View. “I suppose there will never be^ to grabs utntil everything is g: “Oh! Not even then; becau pie whoi haven’t grabbed any be trying to grab what hi “fe _