e< All e News From Surrounding Towns. )*
SOUTH AMBOY
all'got thirty days.
Three Men Accused of Being Disorderly go
to Jail.
James Halev and John Smith were
sent to New Brunswick for thirty days
on Saturday accused of being drunk
and disorderly.
Yesterday James Tag was giv^u
thi try days on the same charge. They
were taken to the county seat by Con
stable Maxfield.
NEWS ITEMS.
The band concert drew a good
crowd Friday evening. There were
quite a number of people in light
wagons enjoying the music.
The public schools will open on the
14th of September.
Mrs. E. E. Haines’ private school
will reopen on September 14th. Miss
Ethel Pearse will assist as formerly.
It never rains but it pours. Three
5 and 10 cent stores in this borough.
When one corner of Broadway and
David street started, people wondered
if it could pe made to pay. Then,
when another one started a few
months ago, there was another wond
ering time and a dubious shaking of
heads. Now comes the announcement
that another one is to be opened and
the wonderment is greater than ever
Mrs. Robert Mason and daughter
Nellie have returned home after a
delightful visit at New Egypt.
Mr. and Mrs. Frank Stidpole have
gone to Monut Holly for a months
visit with Mrs. Stidpole’s parents Mr.
and Mrs. Samuel Brown.
Miss Maggie French has been enjoy
ing a few weeks visit with her parents
on Henry street and reports a delight
ful time, as her young friends have
made it very pleasant for her. She
returned to PhiladelDhia last night.
Mr. and Mrs. T. S. Walsh, of Cath
erine street, will spend Labor Day at
Newark.
Miss Ethel French is enjoying a
visit with friends at Philadelphia.
William Wooten, of Camden, will
spend Labor Day with his cousin
Levi Wooten and family of Catherine
street.
Mrs. William Woodward, Sr., and
daughter-in-law and cliidren of First
street, have returned home from a
visit a Easton, Pa.
Miss Ella Collack of Brooklyn, is
visiting Miss Essie Force, of John
street.
For real estate see page 2.
8PORTS IN BRIEF.
McChcfuney Makes Kew Recurd-Eiiff
Hull Golfer* Defeated.
SEA GIRT, N. J„ Sept. 8.—With a
score much higher than it attained last
year the Second regiment, District of
Columbia, won tin* skirmish match,
open to teams of six men each. The
score of the winning team was 351 out
of a possible 500, its winning score of
a year ago being 280. The other scores
were: H*st District of Columbia, 310;
United States nn'sne corps, 300; First
New Jersey, 250; Fourth New Jersey,
201; Pennsylvania squadron, 190. The
Seventh New York and Twelfth New
York teams withdrew, having won the
trophy, valued at $250. twice before.
The Second District of Columbia is now
entitled to hold it permanently.
EnalUh Golfers Defeated.
GLEN COVE, N. Y.. Sept. 8.-The
all American golf team, picked from
the leading competitors in the lute
amateur championship, defentod the
Oxford-Cambrldge golfers in a spirited
team mutch at the Nassau Cbuutry
club. The Americans won by the nar
row margin of one point, scoring 5
points to 4. Each game won counted
one point, and nine men played on each
team. The defeat is the first tiyit the
Englishmen Lave encountered in their
string of matches against American
teams.
John A. McKerron Mode Record.
SYRACUSE. N. Y., Sept. 8.—Twenty
thousand persons saw some exciting
finishes in the races in connection with
the state fair. The great stallion John
A. McKerron, driven by his owner,
Harry K. Devereaux, of Cleveland, O.,
was sent against the truck nrecord of
2iOC5. made by Cresceus two years ago,
and not only smashed it, but cut a
quarter of a second from ins own best
previous record, doing the turn in
2:04 Vi
Newport Horne Show.
NEWPORT, R. I.. Sept. 8 —The an
nual open air horse show began with
splendid weather, keen competition and
a crowd that included practically the
entire summer colony as well as many
from New York. The blue ribbon win
ners in the different classes were as
follows: Hunters, Sydney J. Holloway
of New York; pairs, 14.1, W. II. Moore
utuurtj.
Superintendent Frank Hoffman of
the Raritan River railroad and ex
councilman William Day are contem
plating a trip to the Niagara Falla
this month.
Mrs. Ella VanTassall, of Trenton,
is visitiig her sister Mrs. Charles
Thomas, of Second street.
Mr. Thomas Wortleyand two child
ren are visiting friends at Easton, Pa.
Mrs. George Liming, Sr.,is visiting
Mrs. George Liming, Jr., of Long
Branch.
Miss Adelaide O’Brien, of well.Lo
Mass., has been visiting Mrs. Steven
Martin and family the past week.
Miss Harriet Martin, of Broadway,
was a Brooklyn visitor Thursday.
Mrs. George Liming, Jr., has re
turned to her home at Long Branch.
Nothing has been heard from her ab
sent husband as yet and they think his
mind has become affeoted and that he
is probably in some hospital. It is
said that Superintendent Blodgett and
others are investigating the matter
and hope to learn something regard
ing him.
Mrs. James Pryce, of Plainfield, is
visiting her parents Mr. and Mrs. A.
Slover, of Borden town avenue.
A lady who undertook to get off the
10.20 P. R. R. train Thursday morn
ng became unconscious and the con
ductor caught hold of her and gave
her into the care of two men standing
there. They took her to Adams ex
press office and after being attended
by a doctor she was taken over town
to a relative’s house.
The ooal dockers are enjoying flsh
k ing off the borough dock during the
* slack season. It is said that hundreds
of fish have been caught there in one
day. They are mostly all quite small.
I Frank Meinzer, of David street had
ra party for [Perth Amboy in a wagon
pulled by three horses Friday and
was showing them the town. It was
of New lorK; ponies under saddle, \v.
E. Woodend of New York.
Dun Patch Broke the Record.
LIMA, O., Sept. 8.—.Dan Patch broke
the world's pacing record of 2:04% on
a half mile track on the Lima Driving
parti grounds in the presence of 10,000
people. Better time would have been
made, hut McHenry had to hold him
up on the last turn on account of liis
nearly breaking. Time by quarters:
First quarter, 0:31; half, 1:01; three
quarters, 1:32%; mile, 2:04.
Six Shooter Won Handicap.
CHICAGO, Sept. 8.—J. B. Respess’
Six Shooter won the Twentieth Cen
tury handicap at Harlem in a gallop.
Fred Cook's added starter. Linguist,
was second and Ed Corrigan's Hargis
third. Claude and Judge Himes, the
much talked of three-year-olds, were
never prominent. Claude finished
eighth after a rHngli Journey. Judge
Himes was sixth.
Even G. Won at Delmnr.
ST. LOUIS, Sept. 8.—Even with
Shea up, won file feature of Delmar's
card, the Labor Day handicap at 1 mile
and 70 yards for thre^-year-oids and
upward. Always within striking dis
tance, the mare came on from the head
of the stretch, winning easily by two
lengths from Jordan. Helen Print was
t iiird.
MeCheanoy Tied World's Record.
NEW YORK, Sept. S.-The Twin City
handicap at a mile and a quarter at
SheCpsliead Bay was won by McChes
ney, the western four-year-old, by a
length. Hermis was second by a length
and His Einlnonce tIdl'd; time, 2:04 3-4
which ties the world’s record
an old lashioned straw nae.
Joe Sexton is about to take his usual
yearly tri p through the Delaware and
Raritan canal on his launch Glance.
Mrs. Sexton will accompany him.
The haymakers association are an
ticipating a goodd time next Thurs
day evening a supper will be served
aftre routine business and plenty of
fun will be served along with the
other dishes. The more the merrier.
Mr. James French, of Bordentown
B“"«nue was out Friday on crutches,
loes not rest his wounded foot on
ground yet.
iss Nellie Thomas of Second
et, has been enjoying her vacation
ting various places, one of which
was Burlington N. J. While there she
enjoyed the play, “The Desperate
Chance,” at [the new auditorium
very much. It is a tragedy founded
on the escape of the Biddle boys from
tho prison at Pittsburg. Altogether
she has had a delightful time.
Miss Mary Peacock has returned
home to Philadelphia after a visit
with Mr. and. Mrs. Chris French, of
§ Henry street.
Mr. and Mrs. Abe Everett returned
to their home on Henry street from
a visit at Red Bank.
Mr. and Mrs. William Anderson an^
children, of Yonkers spent a few diJPI
with Mrs. Thomas Baker, of BropHM
way- They remained over LaborJDay. |
f TOTTEN VIL L E.
. — - — , _
The Evening News is on sale at Ost
burgs’ 44 Main street,' and at John
Boss' Hotel, formerly John Kail’s
stand. Extra conies of the News and
all NewYork papers can always be se
cured.
SPENDS VACATION HERE
—
L. H. Geigerich, of the New York
Supreme Court, is on [a two weeks
vacation, which he is spending on his
estate in Tottenville. There is some
talk in New York that Judge Geige
rion will be the Democratic nominee
for Mayor of New York this fall. He
is very popular not only ihroughont
Staten Island but in New York also.
JENNINGS-ROWE.
Prof. George J. Jennings, principal
of School No. 8 at PleasaDt Plains,
and_Miss Annie Rowe, a scIiodI teach
er in Public School No. 1 of Totten
ville, were quietly married at the
home of the bride, North Chester,
Pa., on August 20. The newly wedded
couple will reside in Tottenville after
l_l.i.
NEWS ITEMS
Edwanl Cnuny and William French,
of Tottenville, were visitors in New
York Friday.
Miss Elizabeth Forman, of Princess
Bay, was an out of town visitor Sun
day.
Miss Jessie Perry, of Princess Bay,
is home again after a two weeks trip,
spent in Long Island.
Mrs. Andrew Ryan and Miss Grace
Crnmblin, of Syracuse, N. Y., cousins
of Mrs. William Cougle, of Johnson
avenue, and her sister, Miss Lizzie
Walsh, of New York, have returned
home after a weea’s visit.
Miss Lulu Case is spending a week
at Asbary Park.
Mr. R. W. Wood, of Princess Bay,
was in Tottenville yesterday.
Mr. and Mrs. Case spent Sunday at
Asbury Park.
Miss hla Bedell has returned from
Asbury Park.
I’eary SelertM Brave \i’*™ (lanren.
WASHINGTON. Sept. 8.—Matthew
Hansen, who was Robert E. Peary's
CAMPMEETING CLOSED.
The old fashioned camp meetings,
which have been held for the last two
weeks on the Princess Bay road at
Pleasant Plains, closed on Sunday
evening. Aithongh the weather has
not been all that it shonld have, the
meetings have been well attended, i
OBITUARY.
Mrs. Annie Depew, wife of George
Depew, of Princess Bay, died at her
home, on Brook avenne, last Wednes
day afternoon. The funeral was held
from her late home at 3 o’clock.
Friday evening interment was made
in Woodrow cemetery. A husband
and two ohildren survive her.
I*uterNo»*s Carnival of Fun.
PATERSON, N. J„ Sept. 8.—That
merry old soul King Carnival has tem
porarily pitched his throne in Paterson,
the city that lias risen from the ruins
of flood and tire and tornado, and 20,
000 strangers entered the rebuilt and
decorated city to rejoice with the Pat
erson citizens over their energy as evi
denced in new and stately edifices. It
is to be a week of rollicking fun and
will end Saturday night unless the
••Darktown fire brigade,” which is in
constant operation, puts out the fire of
enthusiasm with its antiquated chem
ical engine, which is equipped with
thirty feet of garden hose.
Llpton*. Kiiale Now a Mnncnt.
NEW YORK. Sept. 8.—Sir Thomas
Lipton Dooley is the latest recruit
which the followers of John .T. Dooley
have added to their staff of mascots
to assist in piloting their favorite to vic
tory at the primaries in the Twenty
third assembly district. Sir Thomas is
an American eagle, the same which has
perched in a cage on tin* after deck of
Sir Thomas Upton’s yacht, the Erin,
during the last fortnight. It was sent
to him ns an omen of good luck for
Shamrock III. by tin admirer in Now
England.
ftevr York Asleep.
New Vori. is never entirely asleep, but.
possible 3,000,000 oi' her inhabitants
do_:e part of the night. We roar our
selves to sleep. The process is very
gradual. Early iutancy and senile old
age retire with the chickens. The gay
throng of youth and middle age makes
a hot pace tijl miduight, then slowly
the pulse begins to grow feeble. By
iiu.'inu uuii; «ui luriiitM
arctic expeditions, is the first man se
lected by the explorer to accompany
him on the next dasli for the north
pole. “I would not think of going into
the arctic regions without him," Mr.
Peary said. "Hausen will make the
long sledge trip over the ice. He is a
good shot and a good oarsman and one
of the bravest men I ever knew, lie
and a party of Eskimos may be the
only men who will make the dash with
me over the ice wastes north of Grunt
Land.-’
Missing' Sell utter Appears.
POUGHKEEPSIE. N. Y.. Sept. 8.
Theodore A. Schaffer, president of the
Amalgamated Assoeintion of Iron
Workers, who has been missing from
his home in Pittsburg, surprised the
labor unions of ttiis city by appearing
at the Labor day celebration. He had
been announced as the orator of the
day, but owing to the published ac
counts of his disappearance Herman
Robinson of New Y'ork. secretary of
the New York Central Labor union,
was invited to take bis place.
Mr. jHcks Would Nut Answer.
TOPEKA, Kail.. Sept. 8.—At the in
quiry in the district court before Judge
Hasten to ascertain if possible whether
a coal trust exists among tlie operators
and dealers John Jacks, the tirst wit
ness, refused to testify. Mr. Jacks is a
mine owner of Page county and de
clared that he would not give evidence
because it was incriminating.
MODERN ANTIQUITIES.
Synteiniitic Forgeries I'rnelieed In
PariM to Supply Dvuiiuid
for RelicM.
The quest for things antique has led
to systematic forgery and imitation on
Ihe part of dealers. Paris is the great
center of this deceitful industry, says
the Nation. There has been discov
ered in the suburbs a thriving factory
for the fabrication of Egyptian mum
mies, cases and all. These are shipped
to Egypt, and in due time return as
properly antiquated discoveries.
A funny story is now current about
a collector of medieval things. A cer
tain clever workman in stone made to
the order of a dealer in medieval an
tiquities a Venetian chimneypiece of
the fifteenth century, and received for
his work some 2,000 or 3,000 francs.
The dealer shipped the chimneypiece
i iu » , auu uau u oci up iu a jmiaic
near Venice, bringing back to Paris
photographs of the palace and of the
chimneypiece in situ. By means of
Ihese photagraphs he aroused the in
j terest of a rich collector, who sent his
j secretary to Venice to make sure
j that the photographs did not lie, and
1 on his favorable report, bought the
j thing for 50,000 francs. On the arrival
of the article at his house in Paris he
sent for some workmen to open the
cases. One of them appeared to go
about the work rather carelessly, and
he remonstrated with the man, who
answered: “Have no fear, sir. I know
just how it needs to be opened, for I
packed it when it left Paris.”
-——— ...va*..
Sanitary Brcail-MakinK.
Every workman in the employ of a
well known company of bread manufac
turers is obliged to submit to a physical
examination and to procure a doctor’s
certificate showing him to be in perfect
health. Upon entering the building he
is required to disrobe and deposit his
clothes in a locker provided for the pur
pose. He then passes through a shower
bath, and on to a farther room, where
each day clean underwear, shoes and
white canvas uniforms are provided by
the company. The bread is practically
not handled during its manufacture.
The water is sterilized and«flows directly
through automatic valves into the bread
mijxers’ troughs. The milk, blitter and
other ingredients are as pure .as it is
possible to secure them, and tbie bread
whien it comes from the oven is trapped
in paraffin paper, so that it may ndt be
contaminated by future handling,—Nt Y.
Tribune._ ^
FOLEYSHONIY-TAR
! r*»f* turrnm •
I
'JUC ncai IJ Ull HU11V.HV vv/111
leaving the city to rounders. Cars run
at long intervals. Now and then a car
riage gives a flutter. Imagine 3,000,000
persons lying on the "dead level” for
six or seven hours, some on pillows of
down, some on curbstones, some be
neath the stajr-spangled blue^quilt of
heaven. Queer figures they make, to be
sure.'—N. Y. Press.
1*011 Timbale*.
Mix one cup of pea pulp with two
beaten eggs, a few drops onion juice, two
tablespoonfuls buttermelted, two-thirds
teaspoonful salt, one-third teaspoonful
pepper and cayenne. Turn In buttered
molds and bake in pan of hot water un
til firm. Serve with one cup white sauce
to which has been added one-third cup
whole peas drained and thoroughly
rinsed.—Good Housekeeping.
Water I,Ike Rliick Tea.
The color of the water in the upper
Mississippi river below St. Paul is like
that of black tea. It is stained by the
roots and leaves of the tamarack swamps
on the St. Croix, Chippewa and other
tributaries. The leaves of that plant con
tain a strong tannin, and, dropping off
into the water, color it. The dark tint
of the water is deepened by the bark and
sawdust of the pine logs.
Surprlae Shiin«k«*h.
This is a nice breakfast dish. Halve
some sausages (one-half pound) and
remove their skins. Coat each piece
with well-mashed potato, then egg and
bread crumb each one; fry them in
boiling fat. Drain and serve on a pa
per ijoily; garnish with parsley,—De
troit Free Press. ____,
I
WOODBRIDCE TOWNSHIP. |
\Y00 DBRII)GE
NEWS ITEMS.
Mr. W. Almond Wolff, Jr., of Yon
kers, is the guest of Mrs. Susan Dixon,
of Main street.
Miss Snsie Dixon has returned from
visiting her friend, Mrs. Bell, of
Ridgewood.
Mr. Michael Fox died last week of
consumption.
Mrs. Livingood and Master James
have returned from their trip to Penn
sylvania.
Mrs. John Anness and children have
returned to their home in Brooklyn
af*er a two weeks visit to Mrs. Fred
Anness, of Green street.
Mr. Albert Acker will move his
grocery store into the store vacated
by Brown and Tappen.
THE PEACE CONGRESS.
Plrqaet Would P«t flip Arbitration
Clause In All Treaties.
VIENNA. Sept. 8— Dr. von Koerber
0ARTEBET
NEWS ITEMS.
Mr. and Mrs. Roscoe Jones, of Utica,
N. V, are visiting Mr. Jones’ brother,
James Jones, of Woodbridge avenue.
Miss Rigley, of Princeton, will be
me of the teachers at school No. 2
:his year.
Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Yonng Ivave
moved into their new house on Bmer
son street.
T. Dunnegan, of Woodbridge, la
supplying the schools with coal for
winter.
TURKISH CRUELTIE8.
Sofia Ad. ice* Tell of Barling VII
lag«*i and Outrages.
SOFIA. Hulgaria, Sept. 8 —The revo
lutionary headquarters have received
information that the lurks have burned
ur otherwise destroyed nearly all the
villages hi the district of Kastorla. near
the Greek frontier. The villages In that
district were the largest in Macedonia,
each having from 1.000 to 3,000 inhab
itants. Among the largest burned were
Zagoritcliani. Dumbeni, Konomladi
Mokrent and Kosinetz. Altogether
about twenty-five villages In that part
>f Macedonia have been destroyed.
It is added that 300 women and chil
Iren. fugitives from Zagoritehanl, went
to the Turkish comm inder of the dis
trict to seek assistance and protection
From the Bashibgzouks. The coaunand
?r promised them protection, but when
the fugitives left the Bashibazouks
pursued, outraged and killed many of
the women and children.
The Turks have concentrated 18,000
soldiers in the Kastoria district, who
ire openly burning villages.
Eight Bodies Drift Ashore.
POUT JEFFERSON, N. Y„ Sept. 8.—
Bodies of eight men. apparently sailors
From some boat lost In the sound, have
floated ashore on the Long Island coast
between this place and Wading River.
Two of the bodies are those of negroes.
Stony Brook reports that In tbs sound
about three miles off Crane Neck point
there is a sunken wreck which does
not seem to have been bfl£poe.atesAsd
Edward Davis and two othar j-——ff
men while sailing came upon a floating
spar which was held to the bottom by
a sheet.
Confreaaman’8 Daughter Klopca.
KNOXVILLE. Teun.. Sept. 8.—Ere
ferring the man she loved to say choice
that influential parents might bring her
and eluding the vigilance of bar famVy.
Miss Cleyetta Brownlow. eighteen
years old. at Bristol. Tenn.. became the
wife of Mark E. Pritchett. The bride
is the youngest child of Representative
W. P. Brownlow. and her husband is a
liveryman of Jonesboro.
M.vr England Sneiisfcrfe.t.
CLINTON. Mass.. Sept. S—At the
New England saen-erfest here prizes
were awarded as follows: First prise,
Kozbnry m:ennerchor: second prize,
G<s utsn-American Singing society of
South Boston: third prize. Yorwaerts
of North Attleboro.
Piirkh ('ll! \ s» tlvnllnn.
in welcoming the delegates to the arbi
tration congress expressed bis txelief
that the powers’ love of peace would
ultimately lead to the adoption of arbi
tration by all civilized states.
The congress then proceeded to busi
ness. Herr I’injuet, representing the
Austrian group, moved a resolution in
viting all the signatories of The Hague
convention to incorporate arbitration
provisions in all treaties, to conclude
general treaties of arbitration and in
cases of dispute to invoke The Hague
tribunal.
M. Gobat. Switzerland, recalled the
effort of the T'nited States to offer its
good offices in the South African war
and pointed out that Great Britain re
fused these good offices, saying that
site would regard such an offer as an
unfriendly act. M. Gobat then pro
posed a resolution that the offer of good
offices should never be considered as an
unfriendly act.
Trolley Crash May Prove Fatal.
FRANKLIN. Mass.. Sept. 8.—Four
persons were injured In a head on col
lision between two trolley cars on the
Milford. Attleboro and Woonsocket
Street railroad at Eagle Hill. Neither
of the cars was going at a very rapid
rate, so that when they met on a curve
the crash only demolished the front
platform. Joseph La Liberte of Woon
socket. motormun on une of the cars,
had both legs crushed and suffered in
ternal injuries, while John Henry of
Norfolk, who jumped just before the
collision occurred.- was picked up un
conscious and is believed also to be in
ternally injured. Both of these may
die.
USED PUPPY FOR POLISHING.
Novel Expedient of a Bootblack Who
Was of a Progressive Tarn
of Mind.
An Italian expert in the art of shining
shoes has been arrested in Atlantic City
for using fox terrier puppies as a part
of his polishing kit. Despite his pro
test that the process did not hurt the
dogs, he was fined, and the luckless ob
jects of his alleged cruelty taken from
him, says Collier’s Weekly. Strips of
flannel are usually employed to give the
finishing gloss of the perfect “patent
leather polish,” or “oil shine,” produc
ing a scintillating effect pleasing both
to the operator and customer. The
Italian artist of Atlantic City, seeking
to triumph over competition and im
prove on the routine system of polish
NEW YOKK. Sept. 8—"Big $111”
Devery in one carriage and Mra. Sam
uel J. Parks iu another led the Labor
day parade down Fifth avenue. Sam
ueJ J. Parks, tbe walking delegate who
is out of Sing Sing prison on a certifi
cate of reasonable doubt, was the grand
marshal and failed to get the ovation
which he counted on as a personal In
dorsement. Parks rode a white horse,
wore black trousers, red shirt, white
hat and a very elaborate white and
gold marshal’s sash. He was pale and
nervous, and his brow clouded when
the efforts along the line to start cheer*
met with poor success.
THOMAS F. BURKE
.Funeral Director..
This is the only up-to-Cate Fi'siul
establishment in Perth Amboy & vicinity
Office Residence
363 State St. 27 Mechanic St.
Telephone 45f Telephone 45m
PERTH AMBOY, N. J
KSEfe sesHJiB5esasESESe; dfiascaeRSHMnaHMBaBm
! CARTERET BUSINESS J
^COLUMN^ I
OTTO SPITZ,
Sanitary Plumber.
STOVES, RANGES, HEATERS.
Rahway Ave.
Shop near C R Depot, Carteret,NJ. I
JOHN THOMPSON
Careen r and Bulldar
Jobbing pron ptly attended to. Estimate*givaa
F ORT READING, N. J.
Painter and Paper
A1 order* by mail promptly
CARTERET N.J.
liiu,, on u ci lie iu' u uiiu u iua le i i ivi
pup, simultaneously. The experiment
was a success, the dog survived it, and
the demands of trade necessitated the
employment of several pups, in order to
avoid wearing out the original victim.
The system involved clutching the dog
firmly by the neck and hind legs, and
drawing him to and fro across the ex
panse of leather The Italiar^martyr. in
the conflict between progress and con
servatism, said in his defense: “No
hurta da pup. Oil in da skin good for
da leather, maka da gran shine. Fine
business.”
Evidence of Tact.
Old Million—You want my daughter,
eh? Now, sir, tell me in what single in
stance you have ever exhibited any busi
ness tact.
Jake Fellows—Well, that’s easy
enough. I picked on you for a father
in-law.—Stray Stories.
A Cold Fact.
The Cannibal King (his teeth chatter
ing)—What was it you served with the
last meal? I’ve had a prolonged chill
ever since.
Rovai Cook—That, sire, was a female
missionary from Boston.—Smart Bet.
Willing to Oblige.
Old Lady (iu drug store)—Can’t you
wait on me, young man? I’m in a hurry.
Clerk—Yes, ma’am. What can I do
for you?
"I want a postage stamp.”
“Shall l lick it for you, ma’am?”
Asking a Good Deal,
Church Usher—Please leave your
umbrella in this rack.
Worshiper (dazed)—But this
brella is a silk one.—N. Y. Wi
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V