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Jlrrtir Autboi) turniuy à'rum Published Daily except Sunday at Jeffereon Street corner of Madison Avenue. Perth A m boy. N. J. bv the , PERTH AMBOT EVENING NEWS COMPANY TelejAono 400-401-402 J. LOO A Ν CLE VENDER. Editor D. P. OLMSTEAD. General Manager Subscription Price by mail. Including postage nd War tax, 1 month. 65 cents: I year. $7.60. Entered at Post Offlcj at Perth Amboy, N. J., as | •econd class mail ma.«.er. Branch Offices—New York: F. R. Northrup, 303 j Fifth Avenue; Chicago, Suite 1510 Association Building. I Com m un lea Hon β The EVENING NEWS is always glad to receive communications from its readers, but letters Intended for publication must be reasonable In length ant! mus? he signed by the name and address of the writer. If j Teqaested the name will not be published unless per- ' •onallties are Indulged In. Members of The Associated Près· The Associated Press Is exclusively entitled to the : use for publication of all news dlspa'ches credited to It I or not otherwise credited in this paper and also the local news published herein The EVENTING NEWS is also a member of the I American Newspapers Publishers' Association and the » Audit Bureau of Circulation. I WII-.li EXFORCE PRO HI Μ ΠΟΛ . When Chief Tonnesen gives his assurance that es soon as the new prohibition enforcement art, recently passed by the state legislature, goes into effect on May 1 he will take drastic steps to see that it is enforced in Perth Amboy there Is every reason to believe that it will be done. Chief Tonnesen is a man not given to loose talk. Hi* record as a member of the Perth Λη-.boy police force shows him to be a man who goes j through with whatever he sets out to accom plish without fear or favor· The people have good reason to put their confidence in him. Backing Chief Tonnesen are such men as Al derman Sofleld. chairman of the police com mittee, and Mayor Wilson. These men, too, rail be depended upon to give the chief a free hand Jn cleaning up the city. It is quite evident that however "wet" Terth Amboy may have been in the pant and regardless of how "wet" it may be I *t the present time, conditions will be decidedly different after April 30. Liquor dealers who have felt safe in defying the law up until now will learn that it will not fco healthy for them to do business in such a brazen and open manner hereafter. It will be impossible to wipe out the traflic completely all at once. In fact, it will take an other generation to bring about real prohibition. Any habit or custom that has been as long es tablished as has that of drinking intoxicating liquors cannot be changed in an Instant. But It la going to be changed for prohibition is now a part of the federal constitution and practically •very *tate has drastic laws backing up the fed Volstead enforcement law: what Is more, these laws are not going to be repealed. * ~# «hihiHnn nrfi brine: real XUC »u>««<.w0 Λ Ized more and more and even those who for thtmeelves are "wet" would not return to the eld conditions. The sooner those who have been holding out, hoping against hope that something ■would be done to let up on the enforcement of prohibition, accept the inevitable the better it will be for them. While the selling of liquor may continue It will be dangerous business and will be placed in the same class as robbery and murder. The liquor dealer of the future will have to carry tin his work like the thief in the dark and he Will be placed In the same category. There will be no excuse in New Jersey after >f*y 1 •for- failure to enforce the prohibition laws The act just passed by tho legislature is very plain and with Chief Tonnesen on the job there la every reason to believe that conditions in Perth Amboy are goinp to be decidedly different. SF.LF-Sf FFICIENT AMERICA. Mr. IT. G. Wells, In writing: of the interdepend ence of European countries and of the self-suf ficiency of America, says: "I doubt if it would make any very se rious difference for some time in the ordi nary daily life of Kansas City, let us say, if all Europe wore reduced to a desert in the next five years." In a limited degree, this is tru<*. Kansas City ; would not see the desert which Europe had be come. Her streets would look the same. Out wardly she would live to a large extent the same life she lives now—and so of other American I cities and farming regions. But all America would feel the change keenly * V/e would be shocked in every intellectual and businoss fibre. For one thing, we- would be left to bear the banner of the white race alono save for some nations which are weak in number* and others which are week In whiteness. Wc would feel a sense of helplessness in confronting DOINGS OF THE DUFFS DANNY PLANTED ONE 1Λ ΐ.ϋπ rinuu —BY ALLMAN. NOW. νου GO UVCK. AND GET YOUR BASEBALL AND PLAY WITH IT, OR I'M GOING TO 5END YOU I N THE HOUSE ! ''A7 1 WAWT TO HEi-P! PUT DOVJNl THAT ball BAT AMD COME OVEE. HERE AMD SET BUSN χ VJ1TH "THIS RAKE ! —I— —— FRECKLES AND HIS FRIENDS GUM KEEPS BETTER IN THE MOUTH BUSINESS" OF PUTTING CHEWING GUM IN MOUTU *>f· Vs SO I WAVE CAUSHT VOU CHEWING GUM, _ HAVE I 1 JSHT J NO MAAM-I I WASN'T rà CHEWING.] I VOU WEREN'T? WHATS' TU/CTSUM DOING IN VOUB MOUTH "THEN ? I WUZ JUST KEEP1N' ITTUECE INSTEAD OF IN MY POCKET— T\ ΓΠΓ so «, sticky ! yc changed a world. To be «lire Mr. Wells saye "for some time;" but the time would be roeae lireed hy the lapse required for the transmission of news only. We should be a sick nation. If Europe wer« lost; and in all probability, we should be sick nearly or quite unto death. In a material sense, we should suffer obvious evils which everybody would be conscious of. The main trouble with this country today, with South America, with the whole world, Is that we are trying to get along without Europe. Europe's part in our life is largely suspended as an aftermath of the war. The railways, the far mers, the factories are suffering because we have ill a Mrge measure lost Europe—because in certain senses, Europe has become to us, temporarily at least, a desert. TO CAPTURE MAIL ROBBERS. Capture a mall robber and win a reward as high as $5,000. That's the amount offered by Postmaster General Will H. Hays "to any pos tal employe or other person who brings in a mail robber." All postoffice workers who handle valuable mriil are to be armed. It's a return to "shot gun riding" of the old Wells-Fargo days. Shoot straight, boys! Organized bands are plundering the mails right and left. Thvir loot, In the dozen leading mail robberies during the last ten months, to taled over $7,000,000. The biggest "job" was the theft of $3,500,000 from a train between Omaha and Council Bluffs, November 13, 19 20. Since robberies of register ed mails have to be made good, these lootings are a direct levy on every taxpayer. It's a big sum—that $3,600,000. Jesse James was a piker. In the popular imagination he iooms up as the greatest robber· Yet his loot ings were small enough tiiat the Ford brothers, members of his own band, shot him in 1882 to get the $10,000 reward offered by Governor Crit tenden of Missouri for Jesse James* capture "dead or alive." • — »■»■» nrlûrn VfinH ntiuuici l'iiut, vv»..r». - agents, was the Dalton gang. This was the last "great" gang of train robbers of the old style that worked In the open and, holding up a whole train, gambled their lives. The Dalton gang, trying to pull a double-header robbery of two banks at the same time, was surrounded by a posse of 300 citizens at Coffeyville, Kas. When the smoke cleared away, Emmett Dalton was the only gangster left alive. After his pris on days, in discussing his "big jobs," he said that the gang "once got nearly $50,000." There were, however, master crooks in the old days. For instance, the gang that stole $700,000 from a New York, New Haven & Hart ford train in 1S66. They were captured by Al len Pinkerton, probably the greatest detective in American history. To arm postal employes is sound horse-sense. It may lead to the big mail looters getting cold lead Instead of what their perverted brains con sider fame. The country hopes so. / Young ladies who are eating yeast cakes for their complexion could have a delightful heart to-heart talk with the old-timer who carried a buckeye for rheumatism. The senate proposes to wrap mure icu cc*.*»* around governmental departments' salaries, thus making· it easier for politicians to retain the reins. If the price decline keeps on, we may yet again see the day when housewives can afford enough eggs to bake an Angel Food cake. We are returning to normal. A waiter occa sionally says "Thanks!" even when the tip if only a dime. It might occur to Holland that Bill Hohenzol iern would not "abuse his privileges" if given J none. Heroic deeds are never as good as warrant} I deeds when it comes to borrowing money or ! them. A people never sink quite as low as :heii : musical comedies. Last year, dandelions were dug for wine—thii [ year, for food. Petrified hones of a tiger dus up In Utah. W< have tho blind kind hot. BITS OP BYPLAY By Lake McLuke. Copyright, 1920. by The Cincinnati Eaqulrer. Mercy. The good reformer wildly stares. And for assistance begs; The nasty tables and the chairs Display their naked legs. The Limit! "Smith won't take any man's word for any thing," said Brown. "That's right." agreed Jones. "He read a statement In an agricultural paper that one seed of cotton planted and replanted «ill pro duce 40.000.000.000 seeds In si* years, and he wrote in and demanded a recount." Cheer Up I Prosperity is coming. You can hear the wheels a-humming. And business, friend, will soon be just immense, Get up, old boy. and hustle, I Kick hard times on the bustle, j Work hard, shut up. and use some common sense. I Hull days will soon be over. And you'll soon be in clover. ι Look cheerful, and don't croak, if you are wise. Talk good times, and you'll win thçm, lie game, and you'll be in them. Now is the time for you to advertise. Paw Knows Everything. Willie—Paw. what are the ups and downs of life? Paw—Talking ourselves up and running other people down, my son. So Joke! The old-fashioned Wolf In Sheep's Clothing now has a son who is a Sheep in Wolf's Cloth ing. Wouldn't It? Too many men, it seems to me, Are cultivating memory; Do you think it might be better To cultivate a good forgetter? Mean Brule! "Love makes the world go 'round,' sighed Miss Oldgirl. "Huh!" grunted Mr. Oldbatch. "So does raisin jack." Fooeyt I'd hate to live in Utah, gee! I'd dodge that blue-nosed clime, Where smoking is a felony. And cigarettes a crime. Great Excitement Prevail»! Billv Sunday is holding a revival in Cincinnati, We want to be there when Luke McLuke hits the sawdust trail.—Warren (Ohio) Tribune. Our idea of maximum accomplishment would he Billy Sunday lining up Luke McLuke and shooting him down the sawdust trail.—Wilming ton News-Journal Oh,. Very Well! We see by the fashion hints that skirts will not be worn any longer this summer. We sup pose this means that the working girl will con tinue to wear hers from 7 A. M. until aboul 11:31} P. M. Hooray ! ι See. saw. Volstead Law, Johnny shall have a new master; i He shall have but fourteen cases per day. Because he can't drink them faster. But This Was No Fake Marriage. Charles Leroy Fake and Jessie May Sniitl· : were married in Fâyettevllle, X. C., last week. Tho enraptured lover and his corn fed sweet heart were walking down the street, arm In arm They passed a fat man with a face like a con crete mixer. "You are a Venus," he sighed. "Am 1 as lovely as Hebe?" she cooed. He looked at the fat. man and then at hli girl, but he did not reply. He couldn't.—Cyrui Corntassel. Gosh! She called on a hungry young Dr. To lind out what it was that had shr. Tho M. P. didn't know. But he needed the dough. And $10 was just what he sr. —Luke McLuke. The joke is on him. she's his dr.. When hi* bill came she wrote him a lr. Saying, "No c'lrc, no pay That is always my way, And I'm certainly not any hr" —Xawarx Ailvocat*. Atta Girl! ΛΥβ take great pleasure in announcing tha Elsie Stammer», office mesae-igo·· of th6 Westeri Union in Louisville, Ky., doesn't do anything ο the kind. Vanio. Λ Names. Some men are hard to do. But you can flm an Ε. Z. Mann, in Johnson. Neb. <>tir TJaily Special. There's No Fool Like a Bold Fool. Titiko Mi'T.uke Says A man wants his wife to dress "sensibly" e she won't shew as much of her epidermis à other women. And, if she does dress that waj he is ashamed to go out with her because sh looks so old-fashioned. If ho gets to be twenty-one without anythtn happening to him, his mother can worry for fea he'll get bald before he is sixty. A girl can go upstairs and "dress" for tw hours and then come down wearing the clothe she had ςη when she went up to "dress." rippling rhymes By Walt Manon. Unsung Heroes The owner o£ the Blue Front store has ample reason to be sore, to heave a throbbing sigh; for when the price .•lump hit tht land he had all kindû of i;oods on hand he 1 ought at prlcei high. He had to sell 'hem undei cost, and every night there was a frost, when he sized up the till: ea"Ii day of business stripped his roll, and put him further In the —It was a bitter pill. And /it he wi re s smiling lace, and went around vith princely grace, reruslng to bo glum and urged hi» neighbors to be glad and boost their good old native grad. and help to make tilings hum The merchant princes of the land have seen a season's profits cinned they had a plexus blow; "We'll Just forget the lose." they cry. "for bel ter luck will soon come by—w« haven't time for woe." The waillngi CJme from doleful gents who lo"5i sumo twelve or fourteen cents, from pikers here and th-ire; the biggei men just stand the y»ff and face the haish world with a laugh, and ride· step grim despair. Copyright, George Matthew Adam! ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS I Any reader can get the answer tol any question by writing The Perth Amlfoy Evening New* information I Bureau, Frederic J. Haskln. Dlrec tor, Washington, D. c. This offer applies strictly to Information. The bureau cannot give advice on legal, medical and financial troubles. It doe· not .Attempt to aetti· domestic troubles, nor to undertake exhaus tive research on any subject. Write you. question plainly and briefly. Give full name and address and en close two cents In stamps for return postage. All replies ar· sent direct to the Inquirer. Q.Has any other President of th< United States, besides Wilson, vis ited the Pope of Home?—M. C. A. President Wilson is the onlj President who, while in office, via ited the Pope. Q. What is the compensation re ceived by Federal jurors and how can one become such a jurorV— C. P.K. A. Federal jurors receive ?3 a day and five cents a mile to anc from court. In order to be a Fed· oral juror of a United States courl it is necessary to be a citizen ol the United States, to be able t( read and write, and to be at leasi 21 years of age. You should senc your name to the clerk of the Unit ed States District Court, and asl·: to have your name put on the jurj list. Q. Should one say "I feel bad' or "I feel badly?—G. F. A. The correct form is "I fee bad " Q. What is the history of th< 'Sword of Damccles?"—J. H. S. A. Damocles was a courtier ant ι sycophant in the reign of the eltiei I Dionysius, the tyrant of Syracuse His praise of the lot of kings wen sung until Dionysius silenced hirt ι by inviting him to a luxurious ban I quet, at which he found suspendet over his head by a single hair, ι keen edged sword. It was meant t< typify the actual status of kings. Q. What is white gold made of — C. G. K. A. White gold contains fine gold nne stiver, puic nu...«-> ...... ~ "Q. What is the chemical analysis of ordinary sfa water?—J. S. W. A. The following is the compo sition of sea water: Oxygen, 85.79; hydrogen, 10.67; chlorine, ".07; so-· dium, 1.14; niagnislum, .14; cal cium, .05; potassium, .04; sulphur, .09; bromine, 008; carbon, 002. Q. Was the late Theodore Roose velt the only American member of the Royal Geographical Society?— Λ. Β . Λ. We find upon consulting the list of Fellows of the Royal Geo graphical Society that the late The odore Roosevelt was not the only Fellow of American birth. The list includes a number of citizens of the United States .among them be ing Dr. Smith, Geo. A. Storck, Jas. Stokes ,Capt. Jas. F. J. Archibald, A. J. Drexel Biddle, Richard Hard ing Davis. Q. What is tobacco dust, which is used ns fertilizer ,made from and how much nitrogen an dpotash docs it contain —F. R. E. A. Tobacco stems consist of the waste stems or ribs of the leaves, aand parts of the leaves themselves, which result from the stripping of tobacco for the manufacture of ci gars, or in smoking and chewing tobacco. The stalks include the main stem and branches of the plant. The stems are frequently ground and sold as a fertilizer, and the product is valuable for its ni trogen from 2 to 3 per cent and the ο ι potash from 6 to 10 per cent, s Q. I am the daughter of an old 'soldier. Can X obtain a pension? THE ABSENT-MINDED PROFESSOR ► WH*i.E HIS 5H0ES WERE 0ÉIM6 ^ whined the Processor bccamk QtiΓΤΕ ABSORBED IN AN EDlfoRlAL AND J PROCEEDED -ft) CROSS HIS LECg. ; ti. Γ5. A. It would depenj upon your pge. The Pension Bureau says that there is no law framing1 a pension to a soldier's child who is over 10 years of age Remarkable Remarks "All over -the world men, con sciously or unconsciously are light ing to oust women from the posi· J tione they hold, not because they are incompetent, but because they arc women."—Edgar Wallace, British publicist. • * * "American mothers and father 'are too busy with their work or their pleasures even to supervise the edu ration of their children."—Governor Channing H. Cox. Massachusetts. » * · "The pcal< ΟΙ Ule nuunins has passed."—John K. Lloyd,#prei*i dent, National Retail Lumber Deal· ers' Associat'on. * » · "Man is no longer woman's who]< existence. She has learned sorai common sense."·—Caroline Reilly executive secretary. National Leaguf of Women Voters. * * * "Public school teachers should g< to baseball games, get excited, yel their heads off, enjoy themselves learn to sweat, and keep human.' —Dr. E. C. Groome, Philadelphif school superintendent. • » * "It rvay be doubted whether sinç< t.'.e dijs of savager/, there was eve' such a forlorn degradation of thi esthetic r.ature as at the present mo ment."—Dr. Charles Wadsworth, Jr. Philadelphia clergyman. WAS IN BED THREE DAYS. Mrs. .Tosie Keed. 217 N. Exter St Tulsa, Okla., writes: "X waa in be three days with my back, I too Foley Kidney Pills and in two daj waa at my work again. I cannc praire your medicine too much. Foley Kidney Pills stop bladder ii regularities and strengthen the kir neys. They help eliminate from th system the poisons that cause bacli ache, rheumatic pains, stiff joint sore muscles, swollen hands and fee [ pufflness under the eyes. Sold even where.—Adv. LILACS BLOOM AGAIN BY DR. YV. E. BARTON On the morrow of this day. 56 years ago, the nation awoke to tid ings of terror. On the preceding night, Friday, April 14, 1865, Abta ham Lincoln was shot, and early the next morning he died ί Fifty-six years is a long time, but there still aie living, in nearly eve.-y community in America, some who can remember the incredible horror of that tragedy. Then followed what must be rec koned the most remarkable funeral of modern times, as the bcdy of Ab raham Lincoln journeyed by s:ow stage*. · y night and day. through various <.'ties, back to his o?/n Springfield. Walt Whitman, in verses well known, but least characteristic of him. told the story of the nation's grief in "O, Captain, My Captain." But that was not his finest Interpre tation of the event. The most sub ' tl» and tender lines that he \ rote ' about it were in his longer poem: "When lilacs last in the dooryard And the great star early droOp'd in I the western sky In the night, | I mourned and yçt shall mourn with ι ever-returning spring. Ever-returping spring, trinity sure ! to me you bring, Lijac blooming, perennial and droop ing star in the west, And.thought of him I love." The poem is discursive, but noth i tng ever written has go remarkably preserved to the imagination the picture· of the sad procession from Washington westward: "Coffin that passes through lane· and streets Through day and night with th· great cloud darkening the land. Vith.the pomp of the inlooped flags, with the cities draped in black, Vith the show of the states them selves as of crape-veiled worn· en standing rVith processions long and winding and the flambeaus of the night, tVith the countless torches lit, with the silent sea of faces and th· unbared heads, .Vith the waiting depot, the arriving coffin, and the somber faces. With dirges through the night, with the thousand voices rising strong and solemn, iVith all the mournful voices of the dirges poured around the coffin, rhe dim lit churches and the shud dering organs—here amid these you journey, >Vith the tolling, tolling bells' perpet ual clang. Here, coffin that slowly passes, I give you my sprig of lilac." * 5 " *·1·»λ Itlen Klnnme i r\ i Vi λ rlnniv laid: again the great star droopS in the 'west; again those who are jlder remember and those who are poung are told of the great heart of lim that bore the sorrows of his country through four long years of war, and never cherished enmity or :he spirit of revenge; and that ceased po beat when peace returned arid the ilacs bloomed in the dooryard. BETTY AND HER BEAU. εθ5Η,Έ>Ε~ΓΓΥ. HERE. comes a anovup MAN ! ■ I WAIT " HERE. fOW HE'LL BE SORTtV · ,AS I WAS 5AYINS I Β FORE WE WERE ) INTEBRUCTED-^i Farmers! Here's"Your Chance! Owingr to the big demand for farm·, I will sell or r*nà yours, with all the stock on it or without it at the highest price. Spot Caah Paid. Write Particulars to LOUIS C β I Ρ O, 477 State St. Perth A mho.v. N. J. (Strictly Confidential) TEL. 829 Amboy's Shade and Âwning Co. AWNINGS Winiow Shades, Flags & Decorations 287 Prospect til·, Perth Ajnboj· N, J. C. & S. Co. •SEAMAN STREET Dealers ia all Kinds of Mason's Materials "Cement, Bricks, Blocks, Sand, Gravel, Plaster, i^ime, Plaster Boards, Sheet Rock Wall Boards, Water Proof ng and Paints. Prices Right Prompt Service Tel. 1440 * ■ ■ JÛ