The Morris County chronicle. [volume], June 04, 1907, Page 8, Image 8

About The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915

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FAMILY DIES IN FIRE
Janitor, Wife and Child Burned to
Death In Newark, N. J.
FATHER HELD BABE IN ARMS
The Three Hoenekes Perish Side by
Side In a $50,000 Conflagration Which
Destroys Turn Verein Hall — Four
Persons Are Missing.
Newark, N. ,7.. June 4.—Three lives
were lost and four persons are missing
ns the result of a disastrous fire that
started at au early hour in Newark
Turn Verein hail. 1S8 William street.
The hall, which was one of the most at
tractive structures in Newark, was de
stroyed and abutting tenements were
so badly damaged that the structures
may have to lie entirely rebuilt. The
loss is placed at fully $50,000.
The known dead are Joseph Iloeneke,
janitor of the Turn Verein hall, burned
to death in ills apartments; Mrs. Jo
seph Iloeneke, wife of the janitor,
overcome by smoke and burned to
death, and a five-months-old child of
the janitor, overcome by smoke and
burned to death.
Four persons in one family living in
the building have not lieen accounted
for, and it is believed their bodies are
in the ruins. Sev eral firemen were cut
liy broken glass and injured by falling
timbers, but none was seriously hurt.
'!* United In Death.
The origin of the fire is a mystery. A
belated pedestrian saw the glare of
flames through the first floor windows
and turned in an alarm from the near
est fire box. Policemen arrived a few
moments later and sent in other alarms
that brought out file entire tire appara
tus of the city. In the Interval the low
er floor had become a furnace, render
ing escape liy way of tlie* stairs impos
sible. On the second floor was a small
piazza, but there were no tire escapes
attached'to the structure.
The janitor and his family were seen
in one of the upper windows. Hoeneke
held his child in his arms. His wife
stood by his side. Smoke poured from
the open window. A ladder was hur
riedly rigged up, but before the fire
men could reach the window Hoeneke
ami ids wife were seen to stagger
back. The janitor was found, terribly
burned, his child still in his arms, with
the body of his wife by his side.
.1 a UK's Kobinsou, a porter, and Mrs.
Mary Fuchs, a scrubwoman, made
their way to a three story frame an
nex. it is supposed that Hoeneke tried
to get out in the sain)' manner, but was
cut off by the heat and smoke.
Rescued by Firemen.
The flames, fanned by a strong north
east wind, spread rapidly to the ad
joining tenements. The occupants of
the hall crowded in the windows, and
most of them retained their presence
of mind long enough to allow the fire
men and police to get them down the
ladders. Screaming men. women and
children crowded the tire escapes of
the tenements. Many of them suc
ceeded in climbing down, while many
others were rescued by the firemen.
The firemen, finding it Impossible to
enter the hall, went to the roofs of the
houses and attacked the flames In that
manner. In two hours the fire burned
Itself out. while the Humes had been
prevented from spreading beyond the
adjoining tenements, which were bad
ly damaged. In Turn hall was one of
the finest gymnasiums in the country.
Irish Bill Is Dropped.
London, June 4.—Premier Campbell
Bannerman announced in the house of
commons there will be no autumn ses
sion of parliament. In view of this ile
vision of the government the Irish
council bill, designed to give a measure
of home rule to Ireland, will tie drop
ped at the present session. The Irish
university bill will also be dropped, but
the bill providing for the restoration of
evicted tenants will tie made a part of
the government's programme of legis
lation for tile pending session, the pre
mier says.
Gale Levels New York Houses.
New York. June 4. — Demolishing
houses, uprooting trees, blowing down
fences, spoiling the pleasure of thou
sands. blocking excursion lines and
bringing great loss to owners of sea
side resorts, a fifty mile gale, accom
panied by cold, heavy rain and tine
sleet, swept over this city. It caused
the death of a sailor, who sacrificed
Ids life that lie might save the life of
a dog. The temperature was as low as
45 degrees.
Reading Reduces Increased Rate.
Philadelphia, .lime I After ten days
of public denunciation and loss of trav
el, due to a boycott, the Reading rail
way. through President George F
Baer, announced a partial recession
from its recent increase of suburban
and commutation rates. The price of
monthly tickets is reduced about half
the increase of ten days ago.
Must Furnish Stools For Clerks.
Middletown. Conn., June 4.—Mayor
Willard C. Fisher, who Is a professor
of economies at Wesleyan university,
has championed the cause of the wo
men clerks in tilts city and has decid
ed to enforce (he state law which re
quires employers to furnish them with
stools when they are not waiting on
customers.
Professor to Wed a Co-ed.
Ithaca. N. V., June 4. George Lin
coln Uurr. professor of mediaeval his
tory at Cornell and one of the foremost
men in the faculty, is engaged to lie
married to Miss Mattie Anderson Mar
tin of Dublin, Va.. a graduate studeut
in philosophy, history and political sci
ence.
Pneumonia Takes Judge Garretson.
Morristown, N I., June 4. — Judge
Abram Quick Garre Ison of the supreme
court of New Jersey died at Ids home
here of pneumonia. Judge Garretson
was born in New Jersey sixty-tive
years ago.
Says Mayor Will Veto Recount Bill.
Albany, N Y., June 4 —Senator Mc
Carreu and Assemblyman Cuvilller an
nounced that Mayor McClellan hncl
agreed to veto the recount bill and re
turn it to the legislature next Thurs
day,
A STORE OF
SPECIALISTS
IT is often held that because the big department store han
dles such diversified lines of goods that the same attention
is not given any of them that the individual specialty
store keeper can give them, and this argument is often raised
against the department store, weak and fallacious tho’ it is, to
prove that you can get better goods at the specialty store.
Just stop to think a moment. Every department,in this
store is managed by a man or woman who has been engaged in
the handling of the particular line of goods they govern for
many, many years—some of them all their lives. Some began
as cash boys. They know their stocks as intimately as any
human being could. Their whole thought and time is given to
a study of the goods, the market producing them, ami buying
and selling them. They buy in far greater quantities and
greater variety than the average specialty store keeper, and the
very fact of bigger buying gives mental exercise and develops
skill in discerning qualities, interpreting fashions and appre
ciating values. No ordinary store-keeper gets such a broad
knowledge of the markets as comes to the department mana
ger. Besides, the little store-keeper is bothered with money
matters and a hundred and one petty worries that the depart
ment manager, through our big organization looking after the
financial and other details of store management, is freed of.
Our people are specialists of the highest class.
They know their book from A to Z. Depend upon it.
WON’T PAY HER BILLS.
Howard Gould Balks at His Wife's
Jewelry Purchases.
New York, June 4.- It'was announc
ed that Howard Gould had refused to
pay Tiffany & Co. of this city several
large bills contracted by his wife since
their separation last summer. The
statement was made by a friend of Mr,
Gould, who has been delegated to speak
for him. that tile purchases of jewel
ry amounted to $60,000 and that other
bills of which Mr. Gould has learned
bring the total up to $160,000.
These bills or copies of them will be
used by Mr. Gould in the formal reply
to his wife's suit for a separation and
in support of his counter charge that
Mrs. Gould was inordinately extrnva
g'aut. Another instance he will cite as
an example of his wife’s extravagance
it is said, is that on one occasion site
took sixty-two pairs of shoes on board
her husband's yacht, the Niagara, to
be worn during a cruise.
HARRY HAMLIN KILLED.
Son of Famous Breeder of Trotting
Horses Victim of Auto Accident.
Buffalo. V V.. .Iliac 4.—Harry Ham
lin, one of Buffalo's best known ainl
wealthier citizens, was killed in an
automobile •ooiilcnt on die Williams
villo road. mile north of the city line.
.Mr. Hamlin's automobile collided
witli a light wagon driven "by Jacob
Well .Her. a retired butcher of Buffalo
Hamlin was hurled In Ihe roadside and
instantly killed. Schuller was bitdh
dint, but will receiver. John Henkel, a
twelve-year-old bov. who was in Schul
ler's rig. was fatally injured. Both his
legs were broken and his skull frac
tured. Mr. Hamlin was fifty years old
and lived at 1014 Delaware avenue
He was a son of the late Cicero .1
Hamlin, famous as a breeder of trot
ting horses. He is survived by a widow
and one son. Chamieey .T. Hamlin, who
Is an attorney.
Safe Cracker’s Aim Was Bad,
Fairtield. Conn.. June 4.—Safes in the
olHce of A. S. Perry here and In file
pnstolllec, kepi by E. W. S. Pickett,
were blown open. From Perry’s safe
a smiill sum was taken. By the time
the burglar, as apparently there was
but one, was ready to crack the safe
in the postottice Mr. Pickett was on the
sheet. The burglar saw him and open
ed tire from the postotllce window, and
a fusillade followed, the safe being
.Blown open during the exchange of
shots. The burglar fired seventeen
times and Mr. Pickett six times. The
thief got aw/iy.
Three Shot Because of Woman.
Pittsburg, June 4.—With the picture
of Mrs. Anna Vortlsh of Staten Island.
N. Y.. lying close to his heart and with
u letter addressed to his aged parents
telling them she had ruined his life
and he was killing himself. Patrick
Reardon, aged twenty-eight years, per
haps fatally shot two friends who
could not tell him the whereabouts of
Mrs. Vortlsh. then blew out ills brains.
M. M. Moorhead and Thomas Morton,
the young men who were shot by Rear
don, are at tne Pittsburg hospital and
likely to die.
anew and Cold Rain In Newport.
Newport. R I . Jane 4. — A slight
snowfall occurred here at a late hour
The Burry was followed uy a cold rain.
SEES FOUR DROWN.
Edward Auth Tells How the Sloop Bell*
Capsized In Sound,
Norwalk, conn.. June 4.—By the cap
sizing of the auxiliary sloop Belle in
Long Island sound off this place four
young meu from Brooklyn were drown
ed. The sole survivor of the party,
who grasped the stern of the overturn
ed boat and lashed himself to it, was
rescued after a terrible experience in
battling with the waves for several
hours. He endured the agony of see
ing his young brother and brother-in
law sink beneath the waves without
being able to go to their assistance,
while the other two men disappeared
quickly from sight as the boat capsized.
Afler floating around in the water
for seven hours the only living mem
ber of tlie party, Edward Auth of 132
Saratoga avenue, Brooklyn, was pick,
ed up unconscious by the tugboat Wy
oming, three miles from the Norwalk
shore, and taken to a hospital in New
Haven, where he told the sorrowful
fdory of the tragedy.
The four men who were drowned
were Jacob Auth, twenty-two years
old, head of the Safety Electric Signal
company of 120 Liberty street, Manhat
tan. who lived with his parents in 132
Saratoga avenue. Brooklyn; August
Jaeger of 127 Saratoga avenue, Brook
lyn, brother-in-law of Auth. a carpen
ter by trade, who left a widow and
two young children; t.eorge (Ihtzer,
foreman of the Safety Electric Signal
company, living III-Manhattan, and Ot
to Eleger of 154 Vorst street..
Prints Obituary of Her Dog.
Newark, N. J., June 4.—Pluto Kuther-!
ford, a well bred St. Bernard dog that
had been in the family of Mrs. Sarah
J. Rutherford of 12 Lombardy street,
tbls city, for nearly the entire eight
years and two months of Its life, was
burled with honors. The facts concern
ing the burial were kept secret until
after the following notice appeared In
n Newark newspaper among the regu
lar death notices: “Rutherford.—Pluto,
on May 31, at 12 Lombardy street,
aged eight years two months. Mem
bers of the -N. Y. K. C. please take no
tice. Funeral private at convenience of
family.”
Bryan a Conditional Candidate.
Richmond. Va„ June 4.—William J.
Bryan declared that the matter of sec
tion should no longer be a bar to a
man's nomination for the presidency
by the Democratic party. He explain
ed why he could not regard President
Roosevelt as a Democrat and said that
under certain conditions he probably
would be a candidate for the nomina
tion—that Is, if the party demand it
and if be considered It for the good of
the party.
General Thomas Huger Dead.
Stamford, Conn., June 4..— General
Thomas II- Huger, U. S. A. (retired).
Is dead at his home on Strawberry hill.
He leaves a widow and two daughters.
The burial will probably be at West
Point on Thursday. General Huger
was born at Lima, N. Y., seventy-four
years ago.
Burglars Wreck a Poetoffice.
Yalesvllle. Conn., June 4. Profession
al safe breakers wrecked the Interior
of the postottlee here, demolished the
safe and escaped with $175 ip cash and
all the books, money orders and
stamps. A piwe of the safe was sent
through the roof of the building.
HUMOR OF THE HOUR
Out of the Mouths of Babes.
Father—Don't spend your pennies
foolishly. Tommy. Lay up something
for a rainy day.
Tommy (aged fivei—I got a pair of
rubbers laid tip for wet weather, papa.
“What proof have we that the Bible
is a truthful book, little girl?”
“Mamma says it must be true be
cause it says in one place that all men
are liars.”
Teacher—It isu’t always safe to judge
by appearances, y u know.
Small Boy (son nf a detective)—No,
ma’am. Fa says it's bettor to judge
people by their disappearance.
Little Margie lived in a small town
where an electric light plant had just
been installed. One moonlight night
she said, “Mamma, doesn't God know
we’ve got ’lectrio lights?”
“Certainly, dear,” replied her mother.
“He knowse very thing.”
"Then why don't he take in his
moon?”—Chicago News.
Different.
"I suppose." remarked the party in
the Green Dragon us he leaned his el
bow on the counter—“I suppose you
never heard the story of the man whose
wife knitted him a red waistcoat.”
“Oh, yes; heard it long ago,” said the
other.
“Well, did you ever hear the one of
tlie bear and motor coat?”
“Rather!"
“H’m!” lie said. “’Tain't much use
trying to tell you anything new.”
“Well,” said the other, “ ’tain't much
use trying to tell anything old.”—Ally
Sloper.
But He Wasn’t Tired.
Superintendent John FUnn of the In
iliau schools of Chamberlain, S. I)., i
set out ou a sixteen mile tramp with a .
hardy little redskin named Black
Eagle. The little fellow held out no
bly, but during the last two or three
miles began to show signs of fatigue.
“Tired?” asked the superintendent.
“No,” answered the little Indian
bravely, “but I’d like to take off my
legs aud carry them awhile.”—Wom
an’s Home Companion.
A Bitter Day.
Philanthropic Old Gentleman—No
wonder you cry, poor little man! This
bitter cold day, and no overcoat! Dear,
dear! I must see if I can’t—
The Little Man—Ooo—woo—woo—
woo! Katie's goin’ down t’ de dago’s
t’ git a strawberry ice cream soda, an’
sh-she says she won’t give me none—
ooo—oo—o!—Puck.
Those Modern Flats.
“What! Seven biscuits a week for a
place like this? Why. there ain’t room
to swing a cat here!”—Once a Week.
NOT once, but every day does
opportunity knock at the
door, of the man who
seeks some plan of successful
saving. Through its Endow
ment Policy
The Prudential
i
offers a simple, practi=
cal and long=tested
method of securing
not only a competence,
but Life Insurance
protection as well, by
easy, systematic effort.
THREE MUMMED.;
Black Hand Sets Off Bomb In a
Mount Vernon Kitchen.
AGED WOMAN LOSES ARMS.
Victims Are Mother, Wife and Daugh
ter of Joseph Morroney, a Wealthy
Hotel Proprietor, Who Had Refused
to Submit to Extortion.
White Plains, N. V., June 4.—Black
Hand men took terrible revenge rSi Jo
seph A. Morroney, a hotel proprietor, i
of 30 North Fourth- street, Mount Ver
non, because of his refusal to submit
to extortion.
They exploded a bomb in the range '
in his kitchen, wrecking the tenement |
and maiming his aged mother, his wife j
and his ten-year-old daughter, Annie.
The mother, who is seventy-six years
old, was preparing luncheon in the
kitchen. Her arms were literally torn
off by the explosion. The kitchen door
was blown from its hinges and into
the parlor. Mrs. Morroney, the wife,
was found under it. her right arm torn
off, part of her scalp gone and her
body bruised. The daughter was near
her mother, and fragments of the de
molished stove struck her in the face,
disfiguring her.
Saw Stranger In Kitchen.
There was no fire In the coal range
at the time. The aged woman told the
police at the Mount Vernon hospital |
later that when she entered the kitchen
she saw a man hurrying out. She ,
thought he was a delivery man. Evi
dently he placed the bomb In the ;
range. A hole five feet in circumfer
ence was torn in the floor, and wrack
age was blown through it into the sa
loon below, where Morroney was at
work.
- Scarcely a window in the five story
tenement house remained intact after
the explosion. Plaster fell from walls
and ceilings, and tenants fled down the
stairs in panic. As they passed the
Morroney flat they saw smoke issuing
through the door and gave the alarm.
Several men carried out the two wo
men and the child. The wounded per
sons were unconscious, and their res
cue was attended by danger, for the
interior of the flat was on fire. They
were taken to the hospital, where the
aged mother’s arms were amputated at
the shoulders. It is doubted that she
will survive the shock.
Many Black Hand Letters Came.
Nine months ago Morroney, who is a
wealthy Italian, received his first
Black Hand letter threatening “serious
trouble” if he failed to leave $500 at
Eleventh avenue and Third street.
Mount Vernon. It was signed “Black
Hand society.” He paid no attention
to it. and several letters in a similar
vein followed. He told the police about
them, but nothing occurred.
Eater he received another letter
threatening the destruction of his fam
ily. Morroney became frightened and
told the police. They advised him to
arm himself and go to the spot men
tioned in the letter. The police fol
lowed him. He waited an hour after
the appointed time, but no one ap
peared.
Jefferson Davis Memorial Unveiled.
Richmond, Va., June 4.—An everlast
ing memorial of Jefferson Davis, lead
er of "the lost cause” and the first and
only president of the Confederate
States of America, was unveiled here
as the crowning feature of the annua!
reunion of the Confederate veterans.
The memorial consists of a semicir
cular colonnade terminating at each
end in a square pier, with a large col
umn or shaft rising' from the inclosed
space. The semicircle is about fifty
feet across, with a depth of thirty feet,
and stands sixty-seven feet in total
height. The leading inscription on the
monument is “Deo Vlndice” (God will
Strenuous Task.
Mrs. Newed—John, dear, have you
decided where we shall pass the sum
mer?
Newed—No. darling. I have begun to
peruse the summer resort literature,
and I expect to finish the job by the
1st of November.—Houston Post
In Days of Old.
The baronet strode up to the hostelry
In high disdain.
“What wishest thou of us this day?”
they asked him.
“What do I wish this day?” he re
peated. "Why, a knight's lodging.”—
Baltimore American.
Just What Ho Wanted.
Mother (to future son-in-law)—I may
tell you that, though my daughter Is
well educated, she cannot cook.
Future Son-in-law — That doesn’t
matter much, so long as she doesn’t
try.—Fliegende Blatter.
HINTS FOR FARMERS
Worms In Hogs.
When doctoring the hogs for worms
It is best to g.vo each an individual
treatment. For a day or so before ad
ministering the medicine very little
feed should be given them. Then the
following ns a drench should be given:
Spirits of turpentine, one tablespoon
ful; raw lfnseed oil, three tablespoon
fuls. Repeat the dose each day for
three days. The feed should be grad
ually increased till at the end of tive
days the usual amount is fed. If it is
difficult to drench the hog have an as
sistant to raise It up in a sitting posi
tion until it rests upon its hams. As
it squeals pour the medicine well back
on the tongue through a heavy, long
necked bottle. A pint of lye from hard
wood ashes in the swill once each day
will also destroy worms in hogs.
Hogs should have a liberal amount
of hardwood ashes near them at all
times. It may seem that they do not
eat much of these, but there is enough
taken into the stomach and intestines
to bold in check tlie development of
worms. It is necessary that the ashes
be unleached, as it is the lye that de
stroys the worms.
Egg Bound Hens.
The very tirst thing. to do in the
treatment of egg bound hens ts to
remove tile cause. If the bird is too
fat its supply of fat forming grain ra
tion should be cut off at once, and in
stead a liberal amount of feed rich in
protein should lie given. If the grain
is corn change to wheat bran mixed to
thick mush with skim milk. This
should be fed once each day. Gener
ally the evening is the best time. Com
pel" the birds to take a great deal of
exercise. Scatter a little wheat in the
litter early in the morning and make
the birds scratch for it. Do not give
them very much. At noon give them
another feed. Change the feed fre
quently from wheat to oats and rye,
feeding no one grain more than three
times in succession.
As a remedy give a teaspoonful of
epsom salts in each gallon of drinking
water. If the egg is lodged near the
opening an injection of sweet oil will
many times Cause it to pass out.
Pumpkin Seed as Hog Food.
We think it worse than a waste of
time to remove the seeds, whether the
pumpkins are fed to cattle, sheep or
hogs. We have fed pumpkins, seeds
and all, to hogs for several years and
have had no bad results therefrom—in
fact, we value pumpkin seeds highly
as food, for they contain a considerable
amount of nutriment. Of course they
may be fed to excess, in which case
they act injuriously on the kidneys, but
where pumpkins are fed moderately no
Injurious results need be feared. Pump
kins should only form a small part of
the hog's ration, so far as actual fowl
Is concerned. The main reason for
feeding fowlk of this character is to
supply succulency to the ration, which
keeps the hog’s digestive system in
good working order. — Farmer’s Trib
une.
To Sharpen Old Files.
To know hovi dull files are very easl
ly sharpened is worth to the farmer
many a round dollar. There are pco
pie who throw away tiles thinking they
afce worn out, but that Is In many a
case a large mistake. The dullness of
flies is produced by the finely ground
chips checking between the teeth of
files. The secret of sharpening files is
the following: Take one part sulphuric
acid and five parts water. Mix both
well together, and in this solution put
dull files for twenty-four hours. Be
fore using tiles after they have been
sharpened in this way wash off the
files well with soap and when dry rub
In with kerosene oil. This process
will make old dull files like new. Be
cautious with this acid In handling, as
It is not to make fun with.
Valueless Cows.
Extensive investigations by the agri
cultural experiment station at the Uni
versity of Illinois indicate the fact that
a fourth of all the cows of this state
yield less than 133 pounds of butter
fat a year and therefore earn their
owner less than a dollar for the same
period.
The results of these experiments and
Investigations have been published in
circular No. lOfi of the department,
which has as its subject “The Re
markable Differences In Dairy Cows.”
The circular may be obtained from
the experiment station at Urbana for
the asking.—University of Illinois Bul
letin.
Sunday School Convention.
Watertown, N. Y. June 4 -The an
uuai convention of the New York State
Sunday School association will be held
In this city June 11 to 14. Prepara
tions are being made to entertain 1,000
delegates, and there will be seventy
five speakers. •
The Sheep Pasture.
The opinion of many farmers that a
good sheep pasture must contain a
large quantity of feed is often incor
rect. as it is noticeable that sheep
usually prefer to graze’ in the driest
part of the pasture, where the feed is
the shortest and usually the sweetest.
Sheep are often seen grazing on the
hilltops, where the feed has been gnaw
ed close to the ground, in preference
to eating clover and timothy.—Farm
Progress.
The Brood Mare.
In purchasing a brood mare that has
reached mature age be careful to "learn
whether or not she has produced foals
regularly every year when given an
opportunity. It makes a vast difference
In the profits whether mares produce
every year or only once in two years.
Mares that have been unfortunate and
lost foals should as a rule be passed
by. for ill lack is liable to pursue them.
HUMOR OF THE HOUR
Hi* Tender Conscience.
“I feel," said the easy mark uneasily,
“as if I had laden my conscience in a
manner that would ruin my peace of
mind forever or until all is made
right..’’ '
“What did you do?” asked his sym
pathetic friend. (
“I wTas in a small Illinois town the
other day. Being of an economical
turn of mind, I entered a ten cent hair
cut resort to get my face and head
manicured. When the man was through
I discovered, much to my chagrin, that
I had with me only a Uve dollar bill
and a twenty dollar gold piece. Ten
dering the smaller of the two pieces of
money to the colored gentleman who
had shaved me and cut my hair, I was
informed tljat he had no change. I
then offered to go and get the money
changed. He objected to my leaving
the shop. He also objected to gl>ing
himself because he would not trust me
not to run away while he was absent
seeking the change.
“At last I hit upon what seemed to
both of us a happy solution of the trou
. ble. I suggested that I leave with him
the twenty dollar gold piece as surety
while I went and got the note changed.
I did so.
“Though I was gone but a few mo
ments, when I came back the colored
gentleman had disappeared. I waited
quite aw’hile for him* but he did not
return. At last I impatiently left the
place and hurried to my train.
“It was several days before the
thought occurred to me that 1 had for
gotten to leave for the man the sum
which I owed him.”
“But the twenty dollar gold piece?”
urged the sympathetic friend. “Was it
ever returned?”
. “No. not yet,” said the easy mark
cheerfully. “But I left my name and
address pinned to the cushion of the
head rest of the chair In which I had
sat.”—Chicago News.
Could He See For Himself?
A well known surgeon was some
what quick tempered if he found a stu
dent exceptionally dull and on one oc
casion when he had been more than
usually irritated by a student’s density
asked him how many times he thought
a fool could hear a name mentioned
without remembering it.
“I don’t know.” replied the student.
“How many times could you yourself?”
-Tit-Bits.
A Hopeless Trial.
“That guy's de champeen stingy man
of de eai'th, Freddy.”
“How's dat?”
“Why, I’ve been followin’ him fer a
mile, an’ he ain’t trowed dat butt away
yet!”—New York World.
The Calmness of Despair.
Soubrette—Good heavens! We can’t
stay overnight in this hotel!
Comedian—What’s the matter with
it?
Soubrette—The bellboy says it’s
haunted.
Comedian—That settles It. We stay.
It is our only chance this season of
ever seeing the ghost walk.—Baltimore
American.
“Now Go Write a Love Song!”
“Did you beat the carpet, dear?”
“I did,” replied the poet.
“And the stove pipe—have you taken
it down?”
“I have.”
“That’s a dear! Now go and dig in
the garden for exercise and then you
may go to your garret and write love
songs for groceries!”—Atlanta Consti
tution.