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Txx DAttf mtid trtdik, moHdAyV dkwokr is, 1016. I ll III! m fl lr 1 Christmas Greetings SPECIALS! For All This Week Be sure to provide for your your table on Christmas day. We have a full and complete stock of groceries and the prices are right. A glance over the fol lowing will help to remind you of your wants that you may need: Heinz 57 Varieties make things good at all meals. Mince Meats in jars and cans. Nuts, shelled, for fruit cakes and mince meat. Citrus Fruits, Oranges, Grape Fruit, Lemons, Figs, Cocoanuts in shells, Tan gerines, Grapes, -Apples, Cranberries. Large Bronze Turkeys, famous Ply mouth Rock Chickens, Pekin Ducks and Toulouse Geese all dressed and ready for the pan. Fresh, Shucked Oysters by the gal lon or quart; special price by the gallon. Canned Goods, as fine as you ever tneffvl' Acrwrnone Pphq rrina Rpflns f Lima Green Beans, Corn, Spinach, Beets, Peaches and Pineapple. Pears and Logan Berries, something extra good. Also Fancy Raisins. Sweet Pickles, Sour Pickles, Cheese, Spaghetti, Macoroni, Canned Cider, Ma ple Syrup, Canned Cherries and a com plete line of Dried Fruits. Everything that goes to make up your Christmas dinner can be had here, even Candies and Nuts to finish up the day. Place Your Orders Early and Avoid the Rush. Mutual Movie Stamps Are Given With All Cash Purchases. J. C. CABLISH & BRO. QUALITY WE "ARE HEADQUARTERS FOR XMAS SHOPPERS Fine China, Cut Glass, Toys, Hoo)s, (Isinu'.s of nil kinds mid Novelties, A liit! Ktock of AKUMIAPH'R n Candies. THE RACKET STORE L. H. YOUNG, Proprietor. If your eyes pain you, don't lit this Christmas go by without having them fitted -wtriirful profriss of grinding lenses, and the result is seen in the youth they afford pH wt vami ytw ijfts B. KAHN, 111 sthe people of the GROCERS ir tpcm i mokm imsi. Of CkMfcuitL Uanmveptvvided bountifully for our uMEuttrnese cottwwsJ nej imunitv for evervtlnmJlmt-i Adulterations ChristmasDinner lyGeorjeV.Hobart SAY! did you ever get reckless nnd glrc n Christmas dinner to an assorted collection of petri fied relations? Tnke (t from me, dodging benzine buggies on the boulevard Is sleipy work In comparison. Friend wife concluded It wax up to us to squeeze u few uncles and aunt? Into our 4 by 4 dining room and throw turkey wings nt them, so I coaxed my nervous system to behave and told Peaches to cut loose. She sat down nnd Invited Uncle Pe ter Grant und Aunt Martha, Uncle Gregory Smith nnd Auut Iiessle. Then she went In, took another look at the dining room and stopped. I Invited Bud Hawley, his wife Sybil, and Hep Hardy, und explained to them that we would ull have to sit edge-on lit tho table and get our meat cut In the kltchon, so as to avoid hitting each other on tho funny bone, mid It was so ordered, IJep arrived curly. Ho always docs. He generally breezes In with the In formation that four pages of tango music are waiting for him in some hoof palace, and he has to hurry away, hut on this occasion he concluded to sec the fight to a finish. Then the other members of our din ner party began arriving nnd tho mad revel was on. Uncle Peter brought a friend the famous food expert, Doctor Smother Joy. The doctor Is a high card with Uncle Peter. He Is one of those old ginks with beady eyes and a llcenso to hunt for germs, nnd everything he eats has first to give the countersign nnd then go through n written examination. Uncle Peter believes every word that leaves Doc Smotherjoy's face, but for my part I think he's an old Cam embert. At any rute, no sooner were we seat ed at the table than Doc parted his whiskers carefully, coughed to attract attention, then picked up a Uttle-neck clam on the end of his fork and pro ceeded to give It the third decree. "The adulteration of foodstuffs these days Is being carried on to an extent YOrse than criminal," the old bluff be gan solemnly. "Ah, even here I see traces of sally-stlllc acid with borax phosphos even here on this, clam." "Put a little tabascos on It and cu.t loose," suggested Bud Hawley. "ilave a lemon," said Hep. "Squeeze It over the clums nnd make a wish." Uncle Peter listened with marked at tention, while Uncle Gregory glanced at Ids clams and shuddered. The doctor ate his unconcernedly. When the soup camo on the Doc lifted a spoonful thoughtfully, then sloshed It slowly back Into his plate, while tho two unkles, eyed, him ner vously. "t'a bullyon," whispered Uncle Pe ter, anxious to prove the 6oup's In nocence. "Here," said tho doctor, examining his spoonful critically, "here are. traces of hydrophosplmtes and about ten per cent philharmonic acid." " never eat soup," gurgled. Uncle Greg, "because It's a waste of good, space." The doctor said nothing more, but quietly surrounded his soup. When the fish was served the doc tor danced over his plate with his fori; and "aid, "Hydrostatic acid with here and .there symptoms of manganese Uerms flud a few sulphide microbes." Uncle Gregory pushed his plate back wltli n sigh that was pitiful to hear, Peaches was now so nervous that her hands wero doing a shaker dust, nnd there was a big pink spot on each cheek. The other nt tho table, with the exception of ncrTous old Undo Greg ory, paid not tho slightest attention to. Doctor Busyface, Even Uncle Peter threw away his germ fear after tho clam episode, and. took u long chanco with everything from soup to nuts. Next wo had soma turkey with mashed potatoes, green peas and usparagus tips. hi myisi (iissis only m M 'MM GEORGE DEMISE, iesireajTi When Uncle Gregory saw all this his face broke out In 11 smile, nnd wo could sec his nppetlte roll up Its sleeves. "In this," the doctor begon again, holding up n turkey wing on his fork, "in this we have n cold-storage tur key which has been trented with ox alic acid and chloride of potassium to keep It lu n shivering stnte." "Pardon me, doctor," exclaimed Peaches Indignantly, "but It Isn't n cold-storage turkey, because It wus sent me as a present by some friends on Long Island only this morning." "Possibly," went on Caterpillar Charlie, "possibly my hurried diagnosis was at fault, but we can never be sure about these things, because here, on the elbow of the wing, I find traces of callsthenlc acid over tho memlirnues." "No, thunk you," said Uncle Greg ory, "I never eat turkey, It glws me lite heartburn." And the poor old guy struck such u note of hunger (bat 1 wanted to throw that doctor out ol the window. By this time several others at I he table were becoming more of less Im pressed, and the dii.aer party was be ginning to assume the cheerful as pect of a meeting of martyrs an hour before the arena opened. "Please pass me some mashed po tatoes," whispered Uncle Gregory after the pangs of hunger hud beaten li I tn to the ropes. "Here we find," croaked the doe tor, raising a forkful of mashed po tatoes, "here we find one of tho most evil effects of food adulteration. This potato was grown In the fall of the year 18SU, but It has been washed In alum water to give It the uppearuneo of being modern, while Its eyes have been treated with l ulhtdonnif to make them bright and unnppy." Uncle Gregory rrouned pathetically, nnd the rest of in, out of politeness, tried to look Intelested, but only suc ceeded In looking ceaslck. When the Ice cieam nnd cako were brought on Doctoi Smotherjoy drove his spoon down deep into the choco late and vanilla mixed nnd suld, "Here is a pitiful Illustration of what dishonest tradesmen will do for money. Here we find that some of tills Ice cream was pale originally, but It was treated with aniline dye to give It this chocolate effect, und then baked In tho sun to deceive the eye. On the' other hqnd, we find this va nllln was originally dark and forbid ding, but It has been treated with per oxide of hydrogen to make it more of a blonde." "Pardon me, doctor,' snapped Peaches, her teeth chattering with ner vousness, "but this Ice crenm was made In our kitchen by our own cook, "The Next Time You Give a Dinner Party Out Out That Bug Doctor." with first-class cream, and we never have any but homemade ice cream, sa there I" "Ah," said the doctor, "then In that case It must bo traces of thanatopsis which I see, and tho evldenco Is con clusive that a great deal of artificial frappe has been used, nevertheless." "No, thank you," said Uncle Greg ory, "I never ent Ice cream because it goes to my head and makes nio cold to my friends." "Take this coffee, for Instance," chortled the doctor, Juggling a spoon ful with the left hand and four lumps of sugar with tho right. "Herein you will find copper salts, Iodide of chicory, a four per cent solution of gladiolus, together with about a six teenth of a grain of mocha to tho cup-' ful." "No, thank you," gasped Uncle Gregory; "I never drink coffco; It gives mo tho hiccups." After the dinner was over, Uncle Gregory took me outside and whis pered: "John, tor the love of a blissful heaven, tho next time you give a dinner party cut out that bug doc tor, or let me wear ear muffs 1" Peaches hasn't spoken n sensible word slnco that bitter evening. Can you blame her? -(Copyright. 1916. by the McClure Newsp. per Syndicate.) for glasses. It will save you to the .eye that is dimmed by wt urn uiy wniffl pit, 0, D.t Optometrists, and Opticians, Holiday wants isTvidenced- why or hit if i: it a mix of Johnsons Candy For Christmas Mr, fide, 80r, $1.00, $I..Vl, $-.'.00 ,XI $:,.(H) A HOX Wo aluo (111 orders for cheaper grades of candy. Fruits of all kinds lunch nt all hours. Bierley's Confectionery SAY! Fresh Air, Sunshine and Scenery Are Free. These 1 elong To You With An Sfidim tttotocycle you can reach, them. Just a few cents for "gas," twist of the wrist and you are out in the open---Free! Free to an swer the call of Health, Ro mance or Adventure. And when you have a Side Car "SHE" can go too. Every hour you have to spare the INDIAN is ready to carry you to carry you to any realm. AND DON'T FORGET! We have a dandy proposition for merchants' light delivery. Ate. those INDIAN BICYCLES. Indhi and Bicycle Co. i Par,8a Indil vIK; cc.ess" II 1 1 . j much future trouble and annoyance. Science has made time. . We take every precaution known to Optical Sciencs Motocycle Market Street Over By William Marlon Reedy M1 fERRY CHRISTMAS to you all. Let your self surrender to the season. Don't bo afraid or ashamed to be a bit soft toward everybody. Obey that impulse to kindness. Throw off that inhibition on spontaneous friendliness. Note how it gets you more than you give. Reflect how splendid ' it would be to carry the feeling on beyond Christmas always. Don't let the horror and misery of the great war oppress you. In the conflict men are giving all they have and Are for Ideals. They are making and shaping a new world and a better one, building it with the supreme sacrifice of self. This world is what we make it. The love habit will beautify and sweeten it. Every little bit helps to make a mighty fire of love eventually to burn all hate away. Merry Christmas. I VENGEANCE ALL HE SOUGHT When Crowd Learned Nature of Christ mas Gift It Left Him to Commit Hi Crime. It wus Christmas eve, and a stout j man with a large package beneath his i arm hurried through the crowded j thoroughfare, closely pursued by a small man of haggard aspect, with a ! thick stick in Ids hand. On nnd on, relentlessly, the forlorn limn dogged the other, nnd those who passed him heard an occasional word drop from his lips. Indicative of despair or awful terror. Finally, some of the crowd turned and followed the pair, determined not to miss the fun. The crowd grew larger, and finally a bold man went up to the person of haggard coun tenance. "What's the matter?" The little man turned. "Matter?" hV echoed. "See that man with a bundle? He Is my next-door neighbor, nnd In that bundle be has a cornet which he has bought for his .small son to play upon." Hut the crowd waited no longer. It surged ahead and left him to work out bis own salvation, and when peace had been restored the remains of the liattered man and a battered cornet Ioy upon the pavement. JES'TORE CHRISTMAS They're acting mighty funny up at our . house nowadays. They're different than they used to be an' ' changed In many ways; Not long ago If I shou'.d want some toy upon a shelf. They used to make me get a chair and hunt for It myself! 1 ! ! Las' night I wanted building blocks and.,.. went to get 'em, too, An' three of 'em got up an' said: "I'll get 'err down for you." I used to have to hunt for things that somehow went astray, They .let me open bureau drawers with out a word to say; Ma would sew and sis would play, an', pa would read Ms book, An' never think of gettln' from their chairs to help me look. But las' night when I started In to find my 'lectrlo car . They all exclaimed: "We'll hunt for Itf you stay right where you are!" I've never known 'em be so kind In all my life before; They'll Jump to wait on me an' find the things I'm huntin' for: Although they used to grumble an' to say I was a pest. I'm not a bother uny more but why, I' haven't guessed. I only know that when 1 want some toy that's on a shelf. They're mighty quick to see that I don't hunt for It myself. Edgar A. Quest, In Chicago Dally News. HIS SCHEME. i "I'm going to dabble a little in stocks , to buy Christmas presents.' "But suppose you lose?" "In that caso I'll have a good excuse nL'I for not making any." c c c Wanted Short Night "I'opl" "Yes, my son." cis It a fact that the days are ting longer?" "Ves, my boy." "Well, pop, that ought to make the night before Christmas shorter shouldn't It?" 5 v v v y 8 ITl 8 w 9. V W. '.