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' i i ' : a :C' . ' , ... . -- - " ;' ; .t.. -----t r;-r:'TT,y,yruif ty: ."iiCi7fS7mi "mT-m. .i.wuMaJSiI .v.:
rja&)sp)jr--itbi)teb io folitits, iaragn into grottstic Ittfos, literature, rls aito Sciences, ikcaiton.
JAMES R. MORRIS PuWisher and Proprietors
PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY MORNING.
WOODSHELD, MONROE COUNTY, OHIO, JUNE 20,-1855.
r" ; .
; U v-.
rift -' r- :-
Vt ft :r v . v
'V'Aa iMnr oSr sWp her foamy track
'V tv Against the wind was cleaving, " ;
ltiV'Her trembling pennant still look'dback
' So loath, we part from all we love,"
inns- Yram all the links that bind ns ;
I-Vfto tarn onr hearts, where'er we rove,
:u To thOBe we've left behind ns! : ;
cn"i,When, round the bowl, of vanish'd years
' 2Rjw talk with joyous seeming,
. ad oJ With Smiles that might as well be tears,
Bo faint, so sad'th,eir beaming; .
' , tVhile mem'ry brings us back again ;
i faachiearly tie that twiri'd us, - : , " -'
j ho 'Oh, sweet's the cup that circles then
,Vtj 5. To those we've left behind us t . .
And when, in other climes, we meet
" Some isle, or vale enchanting,
- Where all looks llow'ry, wild and sweet,
ICKI And soucht but love is wanting;
Vow great, we think, had been our bliss,
r. If ,Heav'& had but assign'd us. -,-,.
.' To live and die in scenes like this,
-:; nr?.with some we've left behind us t ! :
y As travllers oft look back, at eve, . . ...
; When eastward darkly going,
- '.i . To gase upon that light they leave '
Still faint behind them glowing, V-
So, when the .close of pleasure's day. ,
. 'wi. To gloom hath, near oonsign'd us, . .
8'"'Wo turn to catch one fading ray ; J
iS9S-Oif Joy that's left behind usl : ' -
7'KlVe-Baa4 an engagement for you to
i6caSid:Wldr.ot":lhir"twtek,', : observed
eSquira ?rosby,'4s hW wife was placing
the dinner opon the table. ' ' -?
SaBa.v9 yonf I'm Borry, for I fear I
ihall b too busy to fulfill it," she rejoined,
slight tone of regret.- ,
; . 'Bu8y about what?' testfly" exclaimed
" : -Ute Breaker, - f1 1 ; would respectfully in
' -quire for somewhat, less than : the' hun
' I dredtn"timei,twhat?you' can possibl find
'. to'dof - It seems to me that yon must
. really suffer for the want of exercise."-1
- v-: ' i 40 undoubtedly," ssid Mrs.Cros-
; ; . , r ',' It can be otherwise," -continued the
4 - 'iSquirerdecidedlyr '. "It is comparative
; idle life for a woman to attend toa few
' . : '; j- household cares:" 4 - "' !";' ;
; .A few household cares.'? , ' . ;V '
' - . :rej; ?my ;dear Mrs: Crosby, and the
wa8hlngput out into the bargain. What
: laborious business 1" Squire Crosby
. .. looked rery wise, and 6pbke with a slight
"degee of irony. ,'7 ; ' '' '.
- you talk like one who is acquainted
with his subject but at the same time I
"am willing , to , allow that you know as
touch about it as the generality ol men;
' ' and that can't be construed into a com-
pumentvo me sex, oj any means. -
44 jjut fcn't the fact a self-etident one,
Mrs. Crosby? : Havn't I eyes and can't
X' ee pbserre lookVabout me'om
rehend?' demanded the Squire. . ' 'tf'
- ''"STou might .without doubt: but wheth-
w 1 job: do; is another thing," rejoinied his
wife;' "Be that as it may, however, I am
aatis&ed that 'T can find enough to do to
Keep me out'of idleness. 'V ..'
Whn there's only two' of us?"
"- f Only two of us," added Mrs. , Crosby,
jDuietlT; .;'for its just as necessary that
.tifo- should eat as four.'V . ..."r; . ; t. ,-.
" Well it certainly . must be! a great un
dertaking to cook, a little' food, .wash a
t 3 ' , day I . Why . I could accomplish -the
icw.iuaneB. .aau lay we . mutts burets uuues
ih S :' TV"- - whole ia less than two hours..", a a
i,,Thbfe duties you hare, just named do
eo comprise; t&e wnpie or nouseKeeping,
21r,. Urpsby." r... .;; ,ii
Perhaps not; I shouldn't mind throw.
. iog ijk little dusting and sweeping once
fa wjuie,. Jtfut ,n , certainly .appears
laughable ; to hear a woman complain of
the work when, . there's only . two in the
famiTy.'r X Verily "believe, its nothing but
biv quoth the Squire with becoming
' ppce J9u toy it for one day," pro-
ped',l Cros6yr with like seriousness.
JKOifl .PV your, work
. ..... v. .i..
a home and Vdo
: Ijt'i rathei ' a novel proposition,, aad,l
2a't at ihjia time recal. to niind any cele
: orated men who did housework, j I havn't
we least oojecnon il, uuvwiui-
tiiiBg,'and presume-it will be the easi
ltday'8 work li shall! have -. this year,'
BothVbeing agreedOht Jiext day was
eieeted for a change of employments. A
. piet imfle Jurked r about "Mrs. , Crosby's
lpcstii, and the Squire evidently thought
itgo4 ' joke;S one which would' afford
.. &AA2tzB Tund - of merriment, i tid be
the : ineaas of. DrftTinel to ? his- wife that
housework was nothing more than a pleas
;mft.n-, f aatamtisemenfc1 1 m-a -l . .
h $ ' V-" .. ' ' EheWudecV woman, 5thotight W time
It ri' i' ' - :. fall rwNrtnf oi in tom?ne' a trnntt BirjfA
. . .f t f O.o- .
; i v : 7 , . 1 i- ili tidy, and ldeTising-lew means of
ClZjiag ther palate of- the Sqairef whoi
rl'tol 'say;i liked gobd fotfd and an
d3Pof itK- He: seemed -to think
ilit'itlli jaoped upon 'the table ready
looked, and that Mrs Crosby, : (or some
f petuca,) 1ia4 but to utter a few mag
iLT wcr,4 and; Terything was done.
j jtl td'fcear' litat, triSingf dutiaf termed
enormous,' when' there were "only two of
them,'? to look after, 'seemed a great ab
surdity to Squire CroBby, and he inward
ly resolved to write an article on the sub
ject, and let the sterner sex know how
much they were imposed upon.
While reflecting upon this laudable de
termination, Mrs. Crosby had occupied
herself in jotting down a list of the du
ties which demanded attention the next
morning. This she folded, and quietly
handed to her ' husband, requesting him
to make out a similar paper, that no mis
management might ensue.
; ' "The list is no longer than usual," said
the lady, smiling at the earnestness with
which he surveyed it. "I' go through
with the same performance every day. It
is necessary, for they cannot be omitted
But don't be frightened; : you can take
your own time," she added in a banter
: Feigning the utmost indifference to the
results, he remarked that he should prob
ably "make quick work of it," and plac
inr the paper in his pocket, returned to
the office. ' -
; The liege lord of Mrs. Crosby prac
ticed law in a 'suburban town' and had
acquired considerable property by the
same. ' His wife had independence enough
to do her own .work, but could not help
thinking that she deserved some credit for
so doing. - She had no particular desire
to be praised, "justice where justice is
due," . was her motto; and our readers will
perhaps coincide with her in the belief
that it was rather hard to work busily the
whole mornincf, and then ; be told "that
she , had ' done 'nothing," comparatively,
It was not encouraging to say the least,
and she 'awaited the experiment of next
day with great interest,
'Morning came, and the Squire aroused
his wife,' and informed her in a significant
tone,- "that it was quite time to dress and
make a fire." - Mrs. Crosby did not wait
for a second bidding, but remarked as she
left the char"V, "that he 'might put him
self in readmess to see about breakfast."
i JOur heroine had. taken precaution the
night previous Ho 'prepare the kindlings,
and in a' short time had a brisk fire. She
allowed herself to do just what her hus
banded been in the habit of doing and
no '-more. ' He usually left the old coa.
and cinders for her to sift and throw away,
as well as the remnants of wood and shav
ings td pick up; and she- didn't feel in
clined to limit his privileges at this time,
The dining-table: stood' in the middle 0;
the room, also covered with books, papers,
writing materials, and other articles used
the -evening before. These she did not
molest, and without putting up the shades
or putting back the chairs she took up a
newspaper and began to read. -
The Squire ' had evidently ' completed
his toilet sooner than common, but it was,
nevertheless, vnearly an hour before he
made his appearance If It was something
novel to see his wife reading before break
fast, and he could ' not help smiling to
witness her perfect tang frotd.-
"I've been up a lone time, and renew
ed the fire' twice. Mr. Crosby," she re
marked without looking up. s
This was the Squire's -salutation when
his' wife happened to make an extra nap
of five minutes. r
-1'-: The gentleman made no - reply for he
understood what the : remark meant with
out: 'the aid' of an interpreter, f He pro:
ceeded to' business with great alacrity,
piling the books and papers upon chairs,
and nearly . upsetting the inkstand in his
haste, :r After spilling some oil by carry
ing a lamp the" wrong way, and allowing
the kettle to boil over some five minutes
before he got ready to. take it out, he sue
ceeded in getting the cloth laid, - though
in rather an awkward manner.".--; :
"I think I should relish a piece of beef
steak, Mr; Crosby," remarked the lady in
the rocking chair. :' ":'':'
Ah, then you shall have iV' replied
the housekeeper of the day, patronizingly,
as he busied himself with napkins, cups,
saucers, plates," knives, - forks, &c. , He
tried to recollect how Mrs. Crosby ar
ranged them, but in spite: of all. his at
tempts, he couldn't make the table look
as she did: He made no application to
that .lady ; for advice, : however, and she
apparently" was absorbed . in her reading.
Adjourning to the kitcnen the Squire
attended to the' making of a "delicious
cup of .coffee,'? "and had a long strnggl
vqth the' beefsteak, which refused tolbroil
to ' his '' satisfaction." When returnine to
the dming'-rooni . after. ra long .absence
looking beaten and impatient, Mrs, Cros
by "remarked, consulting her watch,' ' that
he had been absent long'' enough to make
a beefsteafc." ' " " ' ' "
r This observation the Squire remember
ed to have heard before, but did not make
it apparent. M engtlL this 'coffee ani
meat . wer'ei. brought in, ' and all things
were, pronounced ready by r the officiating
master of the .cejmdnies:5''V,s:;(;r'
- Mrs, JCrosby seated terself and , began
to carve: 'MH Squire iooi. Ms place at the
iead of the' tableland proceeded to jppur
out ine conee. ,rr t . . , ...
- - . 1 t , TW .t..,-3 -... - -;x,.
- i'fThe bread, iMr..Crosby,' eraggested.
the lady.., ;. V,? lh ."t;-
.lV Bless me-I forget itl" he exclaimed,
dropping : the coffee-pot and jumping up
bo: hastily that he came near overturning
the; tabled Kvr 1 -m.
I The : bread was scrt&proctuced, cut in
vices varying In thickness from a wafer to
a Junk of four inches, w-vKii'i
" The butter, Mr. Crosby," suggested
his companion, wnen ne was again iainy
I declare, what a poor memory I have
got!" And setting down the cup which
he had taken up for the second time, he
started for the missing article. Placing
it in triumph beside his wife's plate lie re
newed his attempts at coffee pouring, and
this time r was successful; but it must be
confessed that he eyed the dark looking
beverage with some uncertainty as he
passed it across the tabled
Muddy coffee ogain, Mr. Crosby!"
abruptly said the lady. '
The Squire hadn't a word of reply.
"Yery smoky ' beefsteak, my dear!
What have you done to it?" she continu
ed, pushing a large piece of the obnoxi
ous article on one side of her plate.
"You must be extremely careless, or
such things couldn't happen as often as
they do." ' ' . 1 .
What a woman this is to remember,
to be sure I Anybody would suppose that
she had kept a diary of my unlucky ob
servations for a year. Why, 6he has
them all at her tongue's end I thought the
individual addressed, though he didn't see
fit to make any immediate rejoinder.
The Squire had but little appetite; his
wife remarked the fact, and hoped "that
the simple exercise of cooking breakfast
had not taken it away, as one person,
who should be nameless, was in the habit
of asserting." " ' -!: "
The gentleman winced and prepared
himself a generous slice of bread and
butter, which he proceeded to dispose of
as though he had lacked food for weeks.
When the morning meal was concluded,
Mrs. Crosby donned her bonnet and shawl,
and remarking that she would send home
the dinner left the house. Our hero was
now alone,' and could carry on operations
without an eye witness, which he observ
ed, "was much pleasanter."
"Now we'll consult the list," ho added
aloud," "and have things go on in regu
lar order. - Here goes :" -
Get breakfast, clear table, wash dishes,
put- closet3 in order, wipe down shelves,
clean knives, cleanse sink, rub silver, black
stove, keep fire, attend to door bell, sweep
halL -brush stairs, sweep parlor, dining
room,,, and kitchen, dust furniture, trim
lamps, do chamber work., wash meat for
oven, clean vegetablos, stew cranberries,
make puddincs. and entertain visitors, if
they happen to call."
"Bless me is that all I" cned our house
keeper." " I call that making a great fuss
about a little matter.' It sounds larger
than it really , is. I think I'll clear the
table, to begin with as that is put down
So, at it he went, knocking things hith
er, and thither, at a great hazard of their
demolishment. As the idea didn't occur
to him that he could carry a waiter of
articles at one time, he made a great
many journeys between the dining" room
aud kitchen, which , necessarily consum
ed considerable time. ' The dish-washing
proved rather . an awkward ; affair, . and
didn't progress so rapidly as he could
have wished. Hecould not wipe the
cups ' handily, the saucers were bungling,
and the plates would slip back into the
water; but after breaking a cut glass tum
bler, (which he felt sure of matching next
day,) knocking a large piece out of 1
platter' (which he resolved to paste to
gether while dinner 'was cooking) and
cracking a pet dish ' of his wife's " while
setting up a pile of plates,' the" matter
was brought to a closel The knife clean
ing was another thing altogether; there
wouldn't be any danger of breakages, and
he could "put 'em through" quick. V But
the black spots" were deeper set than he
imagined, and required , the exhibition of
more " elbow grease " than he had , any
idea Of. He contended longest with the
carving knife, which in consequence of
being so awkwardly handled, cut a severe
gash in his hand as a token of remem
brance." This was a mistake that caused
many other mistakes! during the day, ow
ing most undoubtedly, to the clumsy ban
dage which the Squire wrapped about his
: It may be well to remark, that the
aforesaid list was placed carefully, in a
conspicuous position and . frequently re
ferred to. He attended to the silver, and
then glanced at the clock. The hands
pointed to V an; ' . hour : which , admonished
him ihat' ' time, waited, for no man,", and
had Vno" particular sympathy for inexpe
rienced, housekeejpers:, i..;.t 7. ' '; ' .(
.-"What next on the docket, I wonder,"
he thought, ; consulting his memorandum.
"Ah, stove to black 1 .Well, I must admit,.-
that the coffee, .which -boiled over,
hasn't improved its appearance much. ? I'll
look.at the brush.'?.,- ; : .
- So saying he prepared the polish and
set about " the operation at once." The
stove was quite hot,- and he couldnt work
to any. advantage. 3 The more liquid he
put on, the more it would sputter about
and 'fly;' off with a crackling noise 4 He
thickened the liquid but it would adhere
to tbe t6toye,r and he began to think it
was bewitched ! ' V ' i '
At this 'stage' of affairs he happened to
recollect that somebody said milk was the
best 'thing to wet the powder with; 6o he
hastened to the pantry and ponriugout a
q'uatitiapplied it to the refractory stove.
That,1 didn't mend the. matter, much, and
tie "Btoell ; of liurhed niil, begin to' be
quite disagreeable. The room was filled
with smoke, the floor around the stove
dotted with little spots of blacking,
and the Squires hands were certainly not
the cleanest that ever was, when a violent
ring of the bell resounded through the
house, making our hero start as though
he had been surprised in some dishonor
able act. , : : ;
He looked toward the door, then at his
hands, and finally at a large stain 011 his
shirt bosom, which bore a very strong re
semblance to blacking. I
. "I won't go! they may ring all day, if
they like !" he exclaimed, going . to the
wash basin and trying to bring his hands
to their accustomed color; but a second
ring warned, him that some person with
out was not inclined to "eive it up so."
"Confound that tintinabula I I suppose
its some old man after boots, clothes;
grease or rags. . If he does it again I'll
bring a suit against him for assault and
battery 1" cried our incipient housekeeper
making a few desperate dashes at the dish
cloth, which he mistook for the towel, and
hurrying toward the door which he open
ed with a trembling hand. . ," ,
'Ah, good morning, Squire,". said a
well dressed good looking young lady,
who evidently expected to see somebody
else appear. "Is Mrs. Crosby in?" V
"Yes no she insn't:;",he stammered;
or truth to tell, the Squire was thinking
more of his personal appearance than his
wife's absence, besides he imagined that
the lady looked at him with some curios
ity and this embarrassed him the more. V
Now it must be observed that our hero
was remarkaaie for the neatness or his
dress and the stain on his linen assumed
enormous dimensions under the searching
glance of his visitor. - He dropped his
eyes and forgot , the stain in contemplat
ing his sooty hands. ..... v;' ,
"Excuse the disorder, of my, dress this
mormnir, miss Haynes'.' he added. "1
was so unfortunate as to upset the. ink
stand just as you rang, and you see the
effects of the accident."
This,' it must be confessed, was rather
a departure from the truth, but the Squire
couldn't think of any other way to extn
cate himself from the dilemma; he was
not disposed to confess the state of the
case to his fair black-eyed friend, who,
after making a few common place remarks
took her leave,
'"What an ingenious excuse that was?
Nobody but a lawyer would have thought
of it," soliloquised ; our.- hero, glancing
complacently in a mirror pertaining to
the hat tree. Imagine his mortification
at ' discerning a black streak across his
face which gave , it a most ludicrous as
pect. No wonder .that the young lady
looked at me with curiosity, for nothing
probably but good manners restrained her
from a hearty laugh
; Squire Crosby went back to the kitchen
with a heavy step. To his utter astonish
ment it was twelve o'clock, and he had quite
forgotten dinner. ; The fire was entirely
out; the room was in a sad plight; the
list of duties not half completed, and the
meat, vegetables, etc., remained untouched,
liis. zeal had cooled amazingly since
morning, and he half repented accepting
his wife's proposition. He had expected
to see her enter every moment, expressing
herself satisfied with the experiment, and
desire him in a very humble manner to go
back to his office and resume, his legiti
mate sphere of action.' ; . -;. .
But Mrs. Crosby did not appear, and
he was at length obliged to collect his en
ergies for the purpose of making another
fire. r After wearying out his patience he
succeeded in his undertaking,, and con
signed the meat to a" cold oven. " It was
too late to think of pudding; Mrs. Cros
by must excuse him that time, although
he had always expected it of her under
all circumstances. He began to think
that it certainly did require some ingenu
ity and calculation to dispose of bo many
duties in a morning, and had some faint
suspicion that housekeeping wasn't such a
joke, after all. , He wondered how Mrs.
Crosby prospered, and whether she didn't
wish herself safe at home: busied himself
in anticipating how frightened she would
be at finding how much work had' been
laid out for the day, and how completely
nonplussed she must inevitably appear, if
a client should happen to call for advice
This last was such an amusing idea that
our lawyer rubbed his hands and laughed
to himself at , the ridiculous figure which
he fancied Mrs. Crosby was about that
time making.; ... . .
Leaving the Squire to work out the rest
of the items, we will attend to the foot
steps of Mrs. Crosby to , her husband's
office, and- note her. experience there. '
Tom Pettifogger, the ; lawyer's clerk,
stared somewhat perseveringly ; when he
saw Mrs.- Squire Crosby enter the office
with an assured step, and proceed to hang
up her bonnet and shawl with ; a genuine
business air. V . : ; ; 1 '
r' Tom,", said Mrs Crosby, Snapping
her fingers, carelessly, is 1 this -t office in
perfect order?":: . 7 -.i
"Yes, ma'm," replied the infant barris
ter, more and more surprised. , -m c'
"I beg leave to differ with., jj; ai.
Do you see these papers all scattered about
here? Pick them all up, and file them in
their proper order' ; ;
Where is the--the Squire?" a&ked
Pettifoggw, with month agape.
V'l'in Squire tonday, Tom,' and you're
my man of business. Mr. Crosby told me
that jou had a memorandum " of to-day's
Pettifogger fumbled about awhile among
the papers, and succeeded in finding the
document in question. v , - ., ' v. '
"' With the faintest possible, smile that a
woman could produce, Mrs. Squire Cros
by read as follows : .. . , , -; ,-
Items Habeas corpus for Levi Lewis.
A writ of replevin for the distress of Si
mon Snooks. Fill out a quit-claim deed
for John Sykes. Advise: Captain Saun
ders about action for damages against
farmer Jones. A writ of attachment in
case of Crown vs. Smith. Examine, let
ters respecting Miss Doty's breach of
promise case. Send Higgins' bill. Write
a threatening letter to Thompson. Ter
rify Joe Bunker, if possible. . Respectfully
invite Col. Drummer to call and. settle
Major Green's bill. To .take the deposi
tions in Wiggins' slander case. .Get an
issue between Townsend and Ferris. Dis
tress the widow Sanborn. Make out costs
and damages in case of Folger and Fol
som.. Examine the title of lands 4yicg
north of tfco Mistletoe river, daimod by
Talbot and Tompkins. Kick Bill Bazzle
ton (firm Bazzleton & Buggs) out of , the
office. Browbeat Mrs. Chandler, for her
landlord Hogin. Tweak Johnson's nose.
The above is to be done besides attending
to incidental office business, as it mayoc
cur. . ' '--.
"Well, here's workl" thought our lady;
her ardor cooled down by this formidable
array of duties: "Tom. do you know
much?" she asked, recovering her "self-
possession, "j -... " ; .
Tom turned around at this strange in
terrogation, and slowly answered, "A lit
tle about some things. 'V " . vv -." . ',
, ' "First, Habeas Corpus for Levi Lewis,"
said she, looking at Tom," as if to ask
what that meant. . ; -
. "I have finished that and the writ,' said
Mr: Pettifogger, laying down his pen and
turning round in his chair. ' -V ,u
"lam glad that you attend to your bu
sines3,Tom. I'll speak' a good word for
you to my husband," continued our hero
ine, brightening up very quickly. V .' ; , ' :
" "Thank you, Mrs, Crosby." , V
"Two things are disposed of then,' ha
beas corpus and the writ of replevin. Do
you know our prettj seamstress, Tom?"
Mr. Pettifogger colored to the very cli
max of his forehead," and said " Y-e-s," in
a very sheepish manner. . . '," . ;. , vV
' "Help me,, Tom, and IH belp you.
Have you had a quarrel .with the young
lady?". . ' ;: ; ": ' ..; . .
"pay before yesterday and and
I'm afraid she won't come "round right
again." . ' '. .V.
. , "Never fear IH warrant "you in that
quarter we'll bring her round in Too time,
Tom but must' go through with, the
," IH put yotk clear through it by-7--by--"
" Ah, Tom, don't swear 1" , ' . ; ; ' .
"Well, don't know what all this means;
but blast me that ain't swearing,, ma'm
if I don't do my best for , you in any
way you name." VV ' , , ': . ' :
! "Margaret is a fine ' girl next comes
the quit claim deed. Yon have got blanks
ready to fill up, doubtless." : W
"Dip your pen and dash it off,", added
Mrs: Crosby "-;'". ; , '. ',
' , While Pettifogger, was filling up the
deed for Sykes, in popped Captain Saun
ders to take advice concerning an action
of damages brought against him by James
Jones. ' ;: ' ' 'li.'.L.
' "My husband is hot in at this moment,
Captain," said Mrs. Crosby. ; ' ". Please' sit
down an(J wait awhile.". , ' ; ' ,
Now our heroine was a pretty woman,
and had exceedingly captivating manners,
which were generally pleasing to the other
sex. The captain was not at all averse to
" waiting awhile" with much satisfaction:
"Please tell : me something about this
difficulty of yours, Captain. 'I should like
to know the particulars, for do you know
that I have studied ' law extensively my
self?" continued the, Squire's wife, with a
very pleasant smile.1: - ." V. .
Saunders was quite ready to relate' aQ
his troubles to such a listener,' and so
straightway unbosomed himself. It ap
peared that his neighbor Jones' swine had
trespassed upon , his property, destroying
at sundrj times, sundry quantities of corn
and potatoes, and to indemnify himself he
had shot." one' of said 1 quadrupeds:, for
which act the owner had brought an ac
tion , ' . .' ; ( . . ..;i..
I can tell yorf what to do in, . this case
precisely as well as the Squire himself,"
said Mrs. Crosby, smiling still, more pleas
antly. - '; .'- ''v::-.-
" What was the, animal worth,, do you
suppose?" she rcsumeoV ' . : L '
" Just about six dollarer Mrs. CrosSy,"
said the Captain'''1" v r?.
"What do you imagina the whole affair
will cost, if it goes to trial?' : : t
1 Twenty-five or thirty dollars perhaps,
Said he. ; ' r-.i-' -...':. ; . ;-.:-
' "Then the cheapest way will b tct-
to leave me ten dollars, - and 131 settle
the case, Captain," added the lady with a
smile that was really bewitching. ; ' - -
The Captain mused a moment, and then
exclaimed I'll doit 1 blow me if Idont
believe yon can settle it if anybody in the
world can l'-' v r -. ; .
; The, Captain left the money and depart
ed. ' The moment he had departed ft note
was dispatched to farmer Jones, request
ing him to step to the office. While Tom
was engaged on ihe writ of Brown versus
Smith. Jones made his appearance, and
the swine affair was settled for seven, dol-
The , letters of .Miss' '. Bright, were
examined, and nothing like, a promise. of
marriage could, be made out of them.
Mrs. Crosby immediately.wrote aletter to
that young lady, advising her . to drop the
prosecution of the case, as there .was no
reasonable chance of her succeeding, if
the letters were the only evidence in the
premises. , Higgins' bill was sent, ..and
Tom wrote a threatening letter to Thomp
son; but how she was to terrify Sue Bunk
er the item next on the programme?
"Nothing easier," said Tom. "Write
and tell him that his case will come on in a
few days; that will, bring him immediately
to a settlement." " . ' . .
Pettifogger was instructed' to write
note to that effect, and also respectfully
invite Colonel Drummer to call and settle
Major Green's bill. ' Aa the. witness had
not come to depose in the slander case of
Wiggins vs. Bnggs, the fair lawyer and
the wiHing clerk , pasted on to the next
To get up an issue between Townsend
and Ferris. Dont that mean is quarrel,
LTomt" ; ' .. . , ' . .
" Just that" said Tom.
"Well, then, let us try and prevent it
by all means."
We have only to let it stand as tt is.
then, for they are uch peaceable fellows
that they won't quarrel of themselves.".
'Distress the widow Sanborn, : comes
nextis that right,': Tom, by the way of
explanation?" . ' ;' ". "
-" "For what?"' : v v ;
' "Because she can V paVsome kind of
huinbng bill brought against her by that
" : Can't' this unjust act be quashed?",
" It ought to be,' at any rate. " It can be
put off long enough to give the widow
warning of -.what is going on, jo that she
can put her things out of his reach," re
plied Tom.- -. -..!':;-';- - '":-
Pettifogger, you 'are Vtreasure I1 Just
run over, and give the widow a sly piece
of advice, and then I will help yon make
oul damage's In the case of Folger and
Jf'oisom. ' " ;- "'";-T'V'.;
" It was. thus Mrs. Crosby went on? and
by. noon,' with the able. assistaaceToln,
had reached the ' three last items.' viz
"KIck Bift "Buzzfeton,' (of : ther firm o:
Buzzleton & Brigs) out of : the office,
browbeat' Mrs.- Chandler, and tweak John
son's nose."'' ;;"v"v"T
"Now, as none 5 of these 1 persons
present, what am I to do?" ' v ' '
"Why, just as the Squire would--wait
till they come In.V
" Exactly; but it is about the hour for
dinner, and if people can't come in proper
Business nours, now can mey expecito De
kicked down stair s,browbeaten or tweaked?
So, my young friend, we will go to dinner.
You will not' be wanted" this afternoon;
therefore you need not return to the office.
but amuse yourself in any "way you please
oy going to see Aiargaret, pernaps.
Lock the office, and give me, the , keyj
won't forget your services." Vb:i : - - :!-
Od her return, our gentle attorney met
her Beamstress, and having some 'work to
consult her about, asked her home to din
ncr.- ; As soon as she entered the house,
she knocked at the kitchen door, and said
.... . . t
laconically: - - '
"Ready for dinner." V1 s ?
What a ludicrous spectacle met her v&
ion ! Mr. Crosby with 'a segment of beef
which he was preparing again to place in
the oven, which by this time had got warm,
and things in every part of the house in
disorder his face and clothes besmeared
with dust and grease.
:, "Judging from present appearances, it
will be ready m about two . hours,", said
the Squire, peevishly: 'v-'! I
" I came rather late, thinking you would
not have dinner ready at the right time,'-'
said she:!;?"? ' :-L. r iL.- '.
This was the Squire's usual saying when
dinner was not ready just at that moment:
"I-have brought a friend" with me to
dme, my dear," added Mrs. Crosby, some
& The Squire, in turn, how 'thought to
reteliate '' ' yirf '
"And the habeas corpus, Mrs. Crosby;
and the writ of Snooks, and the quit-claim
deed, for Sykes) what of them?" said tht
Squire, his face brightening.'1
" All attended to," said Mrs: Crosby.
"And the Saunders case," resumed the
Squire. . ,' ' 1 WxoK :; ,: ' ...
"And the threatening letter," xhimed
in the lady. r. U ! .i ;-- !:;.:: I
V" The land case and the breach of prom
ise affair?,:.-;;0'--.j;;-'-i,:f-r; W-.:a;':
.. ."AU attended to air, as well aa Buz
zleton, of the firm Of Buzzleton & Bnggs.
: 'fAh, hal no! you can't put that load
on to me, Mrs. Crosby! if.Where TomJ'f
."Locked the office and sent:' him off-r
did not want him heH be back tomor
rOW.-. -.. f. !;,; ..!- --ini 4 i'O
.'.:r:The dene, Mrs,. Crosby 1' -vj-irJJ" J .
"I said Tom, sir. - And now job have
attended to the cases which ' 1 left you?
"Ahem! let's sce' Are the dishes washed,
closets - in order, shelves : wiped down,
knives eleaned, stove blackedV " fire . kept
bright, t hall swept and dusted, v lamps
trimmed, chamber work donw; vfL
Hold on, Mrs. Crosby, for heavens
woman!-aae oone n evtry florneoa fsr
" For only two of w7rr.
: I i'.'.t. 5- ' .
" For only two of: us; Mr. CWrt" -"
Are you a woman . of .veracity, Mrt
Crosby?" asked the Squire, wii t dCe.
"No gentleman has :yet presancd to
call it in Question, responded tb tedT.
with a slight inclination of the lodj?
" Then I give it up, and man st graes
ful surrender of these premises.; lot '.
"And only two of us?"K -.-- '
'Mrs. Crosby, I beg your ?i&cr- -1 ,
think that I , am a little wiser than X w
this morning.i? I ' assure? yoo,';upoi the
honor of a gentleman, thatI .will aevcr.
speak disparagingly of ft .082ftpcbtt3t
again. Two of nsrImnd,Tnjslw wcay:
able work--nougii'at'leaB Ibr' one littlo
wife to perform." "'"" i -.i-' ;it l .
" You are pardoned on the spot,' Zz3
let me assure you thai I- do xr '
this days experiencf, .- v t
Widow Sanborn and txt4 tJtXJ.
"And roar ha&2
We cave only to m o ail
kept bis word, that Ton P
ried tiie prettj seamstress, t4c7t :
of ns " was never csed exatjt cz itlr -
ant jest. ,;. H i ijt. . --
We find the foUdwfci Lx ( -SX'Z U V :
changes without ;r vt.wtlii'-t Ar'';v
excite the ?esfUtt.tdi' tX CJ
no doubt acrompHhth olcctlr
Few communities wcCC V - :
bued with t passion for fcers CrC- r
the cood peonle or Xiafc3.i silu . . 2 , ; '.
folksalk "soger", and GgsBpto LV ;
thej talk, opera; and ia.&atch HtX -horse.,
-They, believe-la pJ?tS 2 '
nothing else, v To own; VrX , - h
in Natchez, isfto etdoj.m ;
an honor in comparison wKhvtr ; ,
ber of Congress sinks Into w4ZZZZLf&$-
In October lasVJho &JL Z&ZZf -
tity.of excitementand vhrasj :;-
The last race of theJastjttj,Ms.flCrJ
a free fight,'.- opento ,-retj, hors: zi
had never won a raeej pum-f;JC3, .O
Among "those who propc V?
was a yaukee pedlar, wfa a t,.
rather promisint trportioai :LJ"C-Jj
addressed one? of the Jatf-r j t'8 V-:
.; . .That sorrel colt,1
. : .f? . ; w V v-.V Vsln'Mft . V "
'Is he seedy?:;j;-V,V'-
I calcnlatehe ii' or l. wotld " i J
to risk1 a load of tinware on thi
vDo job know the UxmPjHr
Iiker a book pun t5C3Sd!
fee $2&and there't the 1 r :
Her Yankee, drewnont rhetzrfr
wallet, and brought np; two JCs, tzi t
Among those who witneasedUwcycxTat
wa Jack Rink of thw BervueEiocj
Jack saw hufcti5to
measured him for" an enteriraurtC ..1
ter the usual fuss 'and' paUverv:tI i ,
were brought out, saddled, and r1" 4 ''
for a single Vheat'of ;two' inilesv .
were eight competitbxi l)edes :;tia To
kee. The latter was a smart. KiTtl c'
with a fine eye, and a lCt of.tha H C:y
indicated speed andbottoo.a -,iu :".' :V:.'-;;
.cBring npheJbwTsil:sali 'iti-st::
The horses were brought -p-bal't3
koe gathered up his reins and aijttitli
stirrups :v While doing , tUj 22r.
went to the rear of i th soml ccjt f.tr. i
placed a chestnut burt nndzr Vtoi'tS
Tne next moment tha ordex t vti
given, and awaj went in hones tt tOX
possible ages and conditions. 'StmTsahi'
keo was ahead,, , and kept there; :
ware'? was evidently pleased witJt ITt
things was, working, and: sm2d. ja -","
tiiat.seemed.to saj."that pua!dUfce Jtx v
in .less time than it would take iti.'t .
nigger to slide down a soeptdl&ertjf;
Poor fellowt he hmdn't reckonad ;oaitlr
chestnut burr-, The irritant'! that x!
Bink had administered notonlj TOsrrrr:,S
-Jthe animal's velocity, bit his Blissi3.-- "
ae not only run Uk a doer,1 but lrs -ed
to do any thing dse. V As t Yai
approached the Judge's ; stand; ho tzZa
took to puS ap, bub it was-Mi( 'go'- JZm
might as well have tried to stop ttnsizg .
bolt with ft, jard- f :iog. 'The-rrr't :
reached the stand-the Yankee prtiC
stand the Yankee wentowit ' ttictrii'
When last seen, the Yarrtj
through the 'adjoining conntj i ft zz?:
that made the people lock at kfcac s
comet" that was to make its eppet?cy : :
wthei-noflWe."; Where the sorrd '
bnt" is impossible to - ayv AH
is that the Yankee has never btufcnrtl
if tin ware'f stin niakas one of fte fcj
attrections in the museum o XtzzK ti J
"Vjomxxx Gr.i-The ot3C;i CP
the Cleveland traia stopi ti Csi
Station, a young lady witb an atatil-
in her arms; tepped ont of e caive4v
politely requested a jgantjenan to
standing npon the platfbrnv t toll try
child for ft few moments; as she' srkied t
attend to a little business." Th-r3
hearted inan readily acceded to C Ik
quest, bnt was somewhat scxpncc4 citti :
departure of the train, to find Cr
owner, oy possession, ol woCtr nijr
the latest eute the rhild
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