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IK JfatnilS $fcbsjajftf eboteb to $ olitics, Jforeip anb gnmeslic ftetos, fiter VOLUME XL. WOOPSFIELD, MONROE COUNTY, OfllQ, TUESDAY, DECEMBER 11,1883. NUMBER 44. "-" - - ------ ' - - ' " ' ' -'- ' '- tocMbe 2irts ani Sciences, (ihcalian. JUricuIfore. Markets. mumAs Ar O - ' w 4 . r ? vjc ' y ' JJi i , , .' jg . Ski.' . ' " . 1 1 BBBBBB "A 'A m I THE SPIRIT OF DEMOCRACY. PUBLISHED EVERY TUESDAY. HEJVRY Tt. WEST, BDlTOR -AND PROPRIETOR. 6WOFFICE West Side of Main Stmt, two ioora North of the Public Square. TERMS: One copy, one yoar. One copy, six month. : $160 : : 75 i 50 , thraa montna, of Monro CTonnty, after bar 1st. 188. postage paid w the Publisher $2 In advance. tm flttbecripttens can be commenced at any time. Advertising Bates: Dm square, one weelt, fl 00 subsequent insertion tor nve weens, ou tWmun. two months. 4 uu 5 00 7 00 10 00 5 00 10 00 15 00 20 00 7 50 15 00 30 00 30 00 Ope square, three.months Die square, six' months. One square, one year, tine eighth oolumn. one month, Dm eighth column, three months, Dae etjfhthjotomn, At months, One eighth oolumn, one rear, Dae feurth oolumn, one month, Oae fourth oolumn. three months, One fourth column, six months, One fourth oolumn. one year, Que half oolumn, one month, One half oolumn. three months. One half oolumn. six months, One half ooluraa. oue year, One oolumn, one weak, One solumn, one month. One oolumn. three months, me eolumn, six months, Aba Mlntnt IM1Q VrtAr. sO 00 20 00 30 00 50 00 10 00 15 00 30 00 45 00 SO 00 gTLegal ad vertisenvents charged at the rate wf on dollar per square lor nrac insertion, ana fifty cents for each subsequent insertion. Administrator's or Executor's, Attachment ana Road Notioes, 3 00. Loom Notices, per Una, first insertion, 10 seats, m1 fire cents per line for each additional week. ATTORNEYS. mvuuuM vat . WILLI AU P OK HT Jiotary Public. WM OKEY &, SON, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, WOODSFIEL, OHIO. Will practice in Monroe and adjoining conn ties. Offlce south of Pnblio Square, formerly ocsupied by Hollister & Oney . mch 1 4,'82, A- J- PEARSON, ATTORNEY AT LAW, (OFFICE OVBH KBTTBBEB'S STOBB.) Woodsfield, O. w . II. fOOKK, Att jrney at Law & Notary Public, WOODSFIELD, OHIO. Not. il. 19-lr. SK W. HAMILTON, Attorney at Law & Notary Public, (ftflee erer Pope & Castle's Drug Store,) Woodsfield, Ohio. ill practice in Monro and other oounties. ianl7,'82. James W atson, ATTORNEY AT LAW, VASTER COMMISSIONER, iVOOOSFIKLU, OHIO, jan3l,'8l PROSRCl'TISCi .4TTORKEV, ATT0 RN E Y . A f LAW, : AND BUL ESTATE AGENT, (Offioe up stairs is the Court House.) HfcW M4RTIKSVILLE, WEST V4. jan39.78T. ff. F. SPBIOOS . i. B. PRIGOS Fro. Att irney. SPRIGGS A BRIGGS, svttorneysj and Cpunsellors at Lav And Claim Agents,. WOODSFIELD, OHIO. rTic! Up ittiri in Comrt H ouse. 74. W. V. KUBTBI W. B. H A I LOST Notary Pnblio HUNTER & MALLORY, .ATTORNEYS AT LAW, . moB Southwest corner Pnblio Square WOODSFIELD, OHIO. Will practioe in Monroe and adjoining aunties. apr28.'74r. PHY8ICIAN8. J R . B. ORNNIE PBYSlOlAN AND SURGEON, BEA.LLSVILLE, OHIO. Omoe in th-Armstrong property. WWW Br. J . WAY, Fbraioian and Surgeon. JELM COVE, Washington Tpt Monroe County, Ohio. All calls promptly attended to, during the dy or night. feb23;'69. DR. JAMES A. McCOY, (FOBMBBLT OF O0BORK AND Jl'rOT ) WH XQ 331 XLb I 3XT GS- . Makes regnlar vists to WOODSFIELD, ABtiochQraysville, Lebanon, Stafford, Calais, and Lewisrille. See local netioes and posters for each trip. AH work fully guaranteed, jliit class In 'every particular, jyll.'o?- I. p. r iRfii iiiB. jw. . (Formerly of Zanesrllle, Ohio,) Physician and Surgeon, Ofloe and residence in the Walton property, " WOODSFIELD, OHIO. Earing located at the above place, offers his Professional rrloes, where he hopes by elese attention to business to verit pnblio ennfdeaee and patronage Chronic Diseases wi)i receive special attention. mayiToT uiuiHe Ohio Farmers Fire Insurance Com' LEROY, OHIO. Itsures nothing but Farm property. Rates lower than those of Any other Company doing business in this county. Assets, : : : : $900,000. 411 Lowes prompt!) paid, i JOB5JBFFGRS, Beallsville, Ohio, novl2,"78. Agent for Monroe Connty. MILLINERY. NewMt 1 1 1-ri ery 2ST. J. CLARK Keeps oonatintly on hand MILLINERY GOODS & FANCY GOODS, which are offered at prices to suit the times All work entrusted to my eare will be promptly done. Please oall and examine Goods and learn prices. MRS. N. J.CLARK, sept'4,'80. Woodsfield. Ohio. FURNITURE. IMMENSE STOCK OF FURNITURE! AT HELBLINS & STOEHR'S, WOODSFIELD, OHIO Extra indacements to customers in the way of 61)011 M (OR LOW PRICES and as oheap as the cheapest. Wardrobes, (hairs, Tables, Bu reaus, B'dsteads, Looking Glasses, Hat Hacks, Picture Frames, And everything else in the Fnrniture Line. Pictures Framed to Order, IN BEST OK STYLE. XT JSTTZJEJLTJJSmSTGc Promptly and carefully' attended to. All kinds of Undertaking Goods aiways on hand, consisting of Coffins, Caskets, Shrouds and Burial Robes of all sizes. dec2".'8l. Fine Art Marble Works, JOHN M. EBERLE, Proprietor. Miltonsburg, O. FINiE GRANITE MONUMENTS Of all kinds. Also jnanafatnrer. of Mnna- ments, Tombstones, etc., of both Italian and American Marble, wbioh he will sell at prices that IIFFY CON PET I f I O N , Selling Granite is no experiment with me. I hire been handling it so extensively this season, and competition so severe, that it was necessary to make Special Arrangements for selling it Parlies buying of me or of mv agent, bj.IO.UJj d uuntt, woo as field, Ohio, can secure work 25 or 30 per oerat cheaper than elsewhere, Designs and Estimates Famished on application. Mr. Eberle is the builder of the Soldiers' and Sailors' Monument at Bell aire, Oh o. augl '8$t. Cream Balm has gained- n envia ble reputation wher ever known, displac ing all other prepara tions. An article of undoubted merit.' rt7BE ROSE COLD. 18 ROT 4 . LIQUIDorSNUFF. flATTBTbH Apply by the finger into the nostrils, touen absorbed it effec tually cleanses the nasal passages of virus, causing healthy secretions. It allays inflam mation, protect the membranal linings of the head from additional colds, completely heals the sores and restores the sense of taste and smell. BeneSoial results are realised by a few applications, A Thorough Treatment Will Cure! Uoequaled for COLD in the HtSAD, Headache and Deafness, or any kind of mucous membranal irritation. Send for cir cular. By mail, prepaid, oOo. a package stamps received.' Sold by all wholesale and retail druggists. ELY' BROTHERS, feb27,'83r. Owego.N Y. toilers' Liver Pills I Act DireasiJyon ttzc Liver. 1 1!t;un-. ItiiKi'M vnv.1. l'li.r.s. I'ai.imtatio.n I tiu It X li ll. Ji K. i'li.irM :i I I IMC. I li.NMl rA- ui'-'y Tirn ItnihT. DtmxEMK, Tonrin I.ivek, I Si l OA 1 r.n IXlXUl'K, VI.KK1-L13WXKHS, ANI AM, vninK, not"!' tl very ell."npir.cli- Kill at I iiiil-time Ktlniulst'.'s t lie storoacb. restores! ,. .... r..... , .. . -i II y.a nnr.M l IHinnr J V . -t,r I A T'0 WVPI,. in. R.E.SELLERS&CQ., Pittsburgh, Pi. inayl5,'83T. OatrrH bbbVsbbbbV .1 THE OLD CHURCHYARD. Breathe soft and low, O whispering wind, Above the tangled grasses deep, Where thoso who loved me long ago Fergot the world and fell asleep, No-towering shaft, or sculptured urn, . Or mausoleum's empty pride, Tells to the curious passer-by Their virtues, or the time they died. I count the old, familiar names, O'ergrown with mo is and lichen gray, Where tangled brier and oreeping vine Across the crumbling tablets stray. The summer sky is softly blue: The birds still siug thcswaet. old strain; But something from the summer-time I gone, that will not oome again. So many voices hae been hushed So many songs have ceased for aye Si many bands I used to touch Are folded over hearts of olay. The mossy world recedes from me 1 oease lo hear its praise or blame; The mossy marbles echo back No hollow sonnd of entity fajae I only know that, calm and still. They sleep boyond life's woe and wail , Beyond the fleet of sailing clouds, Beyond the shadow of the vale; I only feel that, tired and worn, I halt upon the highway btre, And gaze with yearning eyes beyond To fields that shine supremely fair. Boston Irantcript. , , , THE POSTMAN'S STORY. "As I was saying, it was Valentine's day, 1872. . Mv' route was from 7th to 12 b street on Spruce. The locality was a good desl more fashionable then than now, and some very high toned folks lived there. We won t mention no names nor give no numbers, hut the par ticular young lady I'm going to tell you about lived just ahiiV.? 10th street. I had a pretty big load and was not In the bet of temper mthTny wo k, but when a beautiful young lady opened the door herself in her eagerness to get the large envelope which was aldressed to her, and smiling her thanks at me, I felt a differ ent man. N r did I feel the worse after the hot cup of coffee, which the servant bad ready for roe as instructed by the young lady, for it was a bitter cold morning, and the bullet wound in the shoulder, which I got at the second bat. tie rf Bull Bun, was twitching pretty bad. Now, a postman can't help notic ing his letters a bit. Everybody hasn't got letter-boxes to. drop 'em in o! course I am referring to routes of pri vate houses and you are often kept wailing a half minute or so at the door. The things 1 have reai on a postal card are a caution, I can tell you. A postman learns a good deal accidentally about other people's sfiair s--but to come back to the young lady ' I took an interest in her from that 14 h day of February, and generally glanced at her envelopes. She got b good many, but nearly all were in ladies handwriting; letters from girl friends, and invitations to balls and receptions, and each like, 1 guess. The exceptions were letters in a bold, masculine hand writing, all written by the same man; there was no doubt of that. At first I brought them once a week, and then, af ter a while, every day, ana sometimes twice a day. She often to k them in herself, and I alwavs fell happy for the rest ot the day. Her nngnt smile sort of went through me Once or twice I received a letter from her to post to him, I was sure; not that she told me so, bu I could tell it was by the way she blush ed when she handed them to me. I look ed at the addmss abd the name. It was a broker on I bird street, un me June following the Valentine's day the 'fajailv went away, and did not return from out of town until October, but I did not see the young lady cor did I have any letters for ber. 'Hasn't she returned yet?' I asked the colored waiter. 'Oh. no; she won't be here till Christmas. She is now on the continent with her husband. Tbey were married at Newport in Au gust.' 'Oil,' says I, and I thought no more of the matter; events bad taken their natural course by ending in marri age, as all properly regulated love tellers ought to do. "Shu came back with her husband at Christmas and Jnegan housekeeping in the same square ss her family, so I de livered her lettet8. She saw me on New Year's day and did not forget me, either. What she gave me was-sufncient to buy my wife a warm cloak for the .winter, with enough left over for a pair of shoes for the baby. The newiy married couple had a heap of letters of all sorts, kinds and descriptions. Invita'ions in any number for both of. them, and plenty of female correspondence for her. He seem ed to get letters from all parti of the world; between them they had more man the rest of (he square put together. There seemed to be some change bv April. The envelopes had the names of store-keepers on them and doubtless contained bills. The following month similar letters came very thickly indeed, and so did letters with the names of law yers on the upper left-hand corner of the envelopes. He seemed to be always at home, for be often came to the door himself and took the letters from me, as if anxious for the servants not to see them. A good looking man be was, with a proud and a dissipated face. "'vTe are going away to-morrow,' said the colored servant one morning as I banded biro the ordinaVy batch. "'Out of town,' I aked. " 'Out of dis town, I guess,' he replied with a grin. 'The sheriffs officers are in tl'e house,' "When I was delivering the letters the next dav, a hick rlro up to tbe door, and I lingered a moment out of coriositv. The lady came down leaning on her husband's ana, looking so mis. erable and altered I hardly recognized her. She must have noticed the expres sion on my face lor she nodded to me and entiled ; but such a ghost of a smile A tew days alterward tbe things in the hocse were sold hy aucti n, and new people came to live there; aud soou, amid the many thoughts ot life, I forgoli all about toe young lady. "It was in the summer of 1877, - when I got nut on a route in Germantown. I was not very well, and thought toe country walking would do me good, so I changed routes, with the permission of the postmaster, with a comrade who worked, as 1 sai i. in Germantown. Sort ing out my let'ets as I served one ot the pre'tv, lesfly avenues, I came across one addressed to tbe old familiar name, Mrs , and in the husband's hand writing. The postmark was Colorado; so be was away, that was evident. She was sitting on the porch of a pretty little cottage, with a child in her arms. It was easy to see she was do longer j a rich. The dresses of herself and ctnld and. tbe emallness aud dirtiness of the Irish servant maid, who was cleaning a parlor window, denoted tbe fact at a glance; but she did not look unhappy, nnd she knew me at once. ' 'Why, postman, she exclaimed, Ms it possible it can be you?' "Yes, ma'am,' I says, 'it is; thank ing you kindly for remembering me, and here is one of his letters for you. "She took it from me with all the old eagerness, and as she turned to go into the house I noticed her pressing it to ber lips. He dido t write very often to her every two or three weeks, not more, while sometimes much longer in tervals elapsed, it used to make me quite miserable when I noticed her plead ing face as I passed morning after morn ing without an thing for her. " You are quite sure you have not got one, postman i she ntuld ask. " Q lite aure, ma s.m. Tbi western mail is late to-day not delivered till to-morrow,' was my faltering excuse. "Chn tmas day arrived, and I had not delivered a letter from ber husband since the middle of UJtober. ' She no longer came to the door now. Tue lit tie servant girl told me she was nearly always ill. At last I brought a letter from Colorado on-tbe last day of tbe year; and then I delivered one regularly once or twice a week, until February The lady began to come to the door again, looking something like her former bright self. "Tbe 14'-h of February Valentine's dav came round, and I had a Colorado letter for the lady ; bu'. it was not in tbe husband s baodwriting. She came to the door. " 'Here is a valentine, ma'am.' says i cbeeriiv. '1 hope it will maRe you as happy as the one I delivered to you in Spruce street about five years ago. " 'Thank you, postman,' she replied, 'and I have got a hot cup of coffee for you.' "She took the letter, eyed it curiously. and opened it with trembling fingers was watching her while sipping my cof fee a glance at the contents, and she fell back lifeless The little Irish girl came up iroroedistely, and between us we carried the lady into the parlor, and laid ber on the sofa Then I took up ra v ms I bag, for of course I could not wait, and continued my delivery. A few houses away lived a doctor, and I told his servant there was a sick lady who required medical aid I had no letters for the cottage the next mornirg. but the little servant rushed out to tell me the lady was dying, and the letter from Colorado as from a police jus lice, saying the husband had run away with a woman to Australia, taking with him a large sum of money be bad stolen from his employers. Tbe letter also said it was supposed, where be was working, that the woman, who was bis cqmp-mion, was married to blm, until a s arch atn ng tbe defaulters papers dis closed tbe existence of a wife in Poila delplia Before the week had closed, there wa a bow of crape on tbe cottage door, and the doctor's certificate said, 'Died of a broken heart.' Have you got a mateb about you, sir; my pipe has gone out, ' and the postman trudged off homeward with his mate, tbe letter sor ter. Philadelphia Fress. With Ei's Cream Balm a child can he ireaied without pain or dread, and with perfect safety. Try the remedy. It cures Catarrh, Hay Fever and Colds In tbe head. 50c. Apply into nostrils with the fin ger. The restoration to health of our child we considered uncertain. When tw weeks old she caught cold. For 18 months was not able t breathe through ber flostrila, became emaciated. Upon neing Ely's Cream Balm ber d ffloultv was removed ; she hrestbes naturallv. Mr. and Mrs. J. M. Smith, Owego, N. Y. Front C l. C. H. Mackey, 32 1 Iowa Imantrv: I have derived more benefit from Ely's Cream Balm than anything else I have ever tried. I have now been using it for three months and am ex perkneing no trouble from Catarrh whatever. I have been a sufferer for twentv years C. H. Mackey, Sigour ney, Iowa, Feb. 22, 1882. 49rTbe negress lecturer, Sojourner Truth, was buried yesterday at Battle Creek, Maryland. Services were held in the Congregational and Presbyterian churches throughout tbe city. A letter from Frederick Douglas received there says of her: "Venerable for age, dis tingaished for insight into human nature, remarkable for independence and cour ageous self-assertion, devoted to the welfare of her race, she has been for tbe lasi forty years an object of respect and admiration to social reformers every where." Wendell Phillips writes: "The anecdotes of' ber ready wit and quick, striking replies are numberless. But tbe whole t gether gives hut little idea of tbe rich, quaint, poetic and often pro found speech of a most remarkable per son, who used to sav to me. 'You read books; God himself tslks to me.' " Very Inspiring. Chioago News. Lord Coleridge has been visiting Mount Vernon and was much charmed with the historic spot. "Its beauty," says be, "has not the titupendoua gran deur of Niagara, nor the awful sublim ity of Chicago's mayor, but with all its hallowed memories and smell of dead leaves and rusty iron, I found it very inspiring." An ambitious vocalist wants to know bow long it is possible to bold a note We knew a man once who held n note tlx ycar-s and then lost tnonoy on it. T. STEWART'S BRIDE. Haw Ho Wooed and Won His Wile When He Was a Poor You u g Man. New York Cor. Pittsburgh Dispatch. About sixty years ago Cornelia Clinch was one of the prettiest girls in New York. She and her brother, who after ward became collector of the port, were the children of a ship-chandler, who was very rich, as wealth was reckoned in those days He lived in a big house oane street, then one of the most onahle parts of tbe city. Old was a self made man, and thought other man ought to be the arabi f his own fortune. So he frowned everv wealthy young fop who i to woo Cornelia, and sent Ret reg- utirlv toichool to be a sensible useful woman. And his ideas were respected'. for he had a terrible temper wben be was, crossed There is still standing, near Stuwe sant ? q lire, a little old-fashioned church known as St. Mark's. In those days it was away out of the city in the green fields But every Sunday old Clinch went up there with his pretty daughter. One day young Stewart saw them. 0 1 bis case it was clearly a case of love at first sight. He began attending church there regularly. Then he made Corne lia's acquaintance, and, as he was poor .but industrious, the old man smiled up on him and Invited him to call and take drinks with them. After awhile Stewart asked Cornelia a very interesting qnes tion, and she, like a good girl, blushed and said : "Y-e-e-s if papa ays so." Then Stewart interviewed old Clinch, and he said : "Want to marry Nellie, eh ? Think she's got a rich father, eh ? And you'd like to come in for a share of his earnings, eh ?" "No, sir; you needn't leave her or me a centr I'll soon be richer than you, any way."' "You will, will you ? Well. I like that Go ahead and take ber, and Heaven bless you both " So the young folks, who were tremead onsly in love with each other, were mar ried and went to live in a modest little cottage on Reade street, and were glad to be able to cover tbe floors with rag carpet. Old people who knew them there tell me that they lived an almost ideally happy life. They studied each other's happiness in all things, and con sulted with each other about every de tail of household or business affairs, and became "two souls with but a single thought" a good deal more completely than most couples nowadays. A Hebrew Story. A csrtain man bad three friends. One of these be loved dearly, and the second be loved also, but not as deeply as tbe first; to the third he was almost indif ferent. Now the King of the corntry sent bis officers to this man, command ing his immediate appearance before him. Greatly terrified was tbe man at this summons. He thought that some body bad been speaking evil of him or probably accusing bim falsely before his sovereign, and, neing arraia te appear unaccompanied before the royal pres ence, he resolved to ask one of bis friends to go wilh him. First, he natu rally applied to his dearest friends, but he declined to go, giving no reasons and no excuse for his lack of friendliness. So the roan applied to his second friend, who said to bim: "I will go with thee as far as the palace gates, but I will not enter wilh thee before the King " In desperation the man applied to bis third friend the one whom be had neg lected, but who said to him at once: "Fear not; I will go wilh thee and will speak in thy defense I will not leave thee until thou art delivered of thy troubles." The "first friend," conlin ued the author, is a man's wealth, which he must leave behind him when lie dies. The ''second friend" is typified by the relatives who follow him to the grave and leave bim when the earth has cov ered his remains. The "third friend," be who entered with him into the pres ence of the King, is as the good deeds of a man's life, which never desert but accompany bim to pleal his cause be fore tbe King of Kings, who regardetb not person nor taketh bribery. 9 In one scene of a current play an actress is required to whistle for a lover the line, "Whistle and I will come to you," suggesting the situition It is s iid that, in rehearsing, she whistled tbe tune as clearly as an accomplished hoot black could bave done "Stop, stop'" cried the atage manager; 4'tht won't do." "But I thought I'd got it perfect." the actress plaintively replied; "I prao tised it a whole day." "Ol, that's the very fault," said the man of experience. "A girl who can whistle like a man would strike an audience like a hoyden, right off. What you must do is purse your lips in a pretty pout, and fail to wliis le at all. just as if this was the first time in your life you had ever thought of such an unroaidenly thing. Then, when you do whistle, let it be faint and uncertain. Do you catch my idea?" She did; and her whistling proved good in its badness. Erie's Experience. ANOTHER CDHK UTTERLT WITHOUr A PRE CEDENT. Erie, Pa., Sept. 10th 1881. Dr Hartmam: I cannot but exoress my thauk8to yon for tbe great benefit I received from the use of Peruna. One bottle of each placed me squarely on my feet, after a long sickness, which had laid me in bed and then left me lame and crippled Three day's use of these remedies dispensed with the cane, and in a week I was perfectly well. N. J. WRIGHT, Business Agent,E-ie Evening Herald Ask jour Druggist for Dr. Hart man's Book on the "Ills of Life." He will give it gratia. If not, address Dr. H. at Columbus, O. Legal Sagacity. Detroit Free Press . "My son," said a Chicago father, "I have just made my will, and left all my property to you, with Smith as execu tor." The smart youth replied : "Then change it. Leave all the prop erty to Smith, and make me the execu tor if you want me to enjoy any of it." I on D fa! m A Jewel ot a Servant. Texas Siftintrs. A gentleman in Austin has a new ser vant and the other day he undertook to coach him in regard to certain creditors who' invariably bounded him the first of each month with aggravating bills. "Now," said he to his servant, "if a man should call for me to-day vou tell him I'm not at home." "Yes sjr," replied the man. Fearing a oiisunderslandinu in some way he again said : "Now, Pat, what will you tell tbe man when he riaits?" s"Tell bim I'm not at home, sor." 'No, no, blockhead ; tell him that I, myself, am not at home ' "All roight, sor " "No., what wilf you say to him?" "I, ravseir, am not at home. "Pshaw! Tell him your boss is not in. Understand that, donkey? Now, what will you say ?" "Your boss is not in. Understand that, donkey ?"' "Fool ! That's not right Say to him I am out Can vou do that f "Yis, sor." "Well, let's hear you ?" "I am out." "Thnnderation! Can't you stand? Tell him your' master under is out. Now, what will you eav?" "Your master is out." "No, you don't sv anything of the kind, you ignoramus Tell the man that I have left the house." "Certainly, I'll tell him that I have left the house." "Pshaw! Can't you. simply say I have gone out for a walk ?" "Then he'll think I am lying s r.'' "How so?' "Why whin I tell him I have gone out for a walk "Great Potiphar! You are the stu pidest fool 1 ever knew. See here, I don't want to see any of the people th it will call to-day, and I want them to un derstand that there is no use of them call ng, as tbey won't find me at home Can you give them an ambiguous answer in your own words r" . "Is it an ambiguous answer? I should say I could if you jtut lave it to me "Well, what will you sav?" "I'll sav, whin they ax me if you arc in : 'Yis, the boss is in, but he has com mitted bigamy, an' gone off on a weddin tour wid a widdy woman, an' if they don't arrest him for the ambiggitv, yez Ml never see the color of his hair again.' A Million of the "Queer." Exchange. I stopped wilh a friend in the rogues' gallery of the treasury the other day for a few moments, write a Washington correspondent. It is a small room about a dozen feet square and its wa'ls are lined w'th the photographs of counter feiters of all ages, sexes, and races-. The secret service of the government has several thousands of these photographs. which it keeps in this way and in large scrap albums Here all the counterfeit money seizad is kept in a great iron cup board at one end of the room. In one compartment of this there are 81,000, 000 of counterfeit paper, bmk notes and sbinplasters tied up in bun lies and piled up until the compartment is almost full to bursting. Rich note has the word "bad" punched out of it, and nearly every one of the makers of iheie many kinds of notes has a lodging in some State Penitentiary. In the compartment below are bags of counterfeit gold and silver, representing hundreds of thou sands of dollars, and in others at the sides are plates, dies and weapons used by the counterfeiters Itomanco in Roal Life. Ohio Stste Journal." An ex-convict of. the Oliio Peniten tiary has fallen heir to a fortune of 82 -000 000, left him by bis uncle, Bron Bernstein of Frank'ort-on'.he Main Tbe heir, while in the O io penitentiary, went hy the names of Lewis Brant and Henry Oswald, and after being released from bjs second term of ImprUonroen, lived in high style in this city until his moDey giving out, be forged a note on the Home Sawing Machine Company of this place, anl had to leave between tw days. He is now aerving a term in Sing Sing, New York. The police of the country say he is the most accomplished forger in the bu3iness,and hii portrait is quite commonly seen in tbe rogues gal leries in the large cities, one ormroent ing that institution in Columbus.' Baron Robert Harmon, as he is now called, is graduate of Heidelberg University, Germany, one of the finnst in the world, and served as a hurge in in the Union army during the war. His passion fot gembling led to his ruin. The Preacher ot the Future. Christian at Work. We believe the preacher of the future will never ru9tle the leives of his ser- monic manuscript in the pulpit, or read off from the written page his invitation to sinners to forsrke their sins and be come reconciled to God. And we be lieve this will be accomplished, not bv writing tbe sermon and then committing lit which is simply burning the candle at both endsr-but by a returnylto the practice of the times when written ser mons were unknown. This method in volves one's saturating himself with bis subject clothing a thought here and there in particular form if he please and then delivering his sermon after the fashion of tne great orators and speak ers.' Web3ter pronounced spontaneity to be one of tbe chief characteristics of true eloquence We believe it to be reasonably characteristic of the power ful sermon as well as that it is almost wholly lost sight of in the close reading met in so many of the pulpits to-day. - - Humor in the Stomach. Much of ths distress an 1 sickness at tributed to dyspepsia, chronic diarrhos i and other causes is occasioned by bu mor in tbe stomach. Several cases, with all the characteristics of these com plaints, have heen cured by Hoo i's Sar saparilla. Other cures effected by this medicine are s wonderfnl that the sim plest statement of them affords the best proof that it combines rare curative agents and wben once used secures the confidence of the people. ABOUT TO0B UtALTH. qrfWMMB Never pick a blister with a pin. A needle is the only suitable thing. A good gargle for a sore throat is made of vinegar and a little red pepper mixed with water. Coffee. or tea should never be given children at night. They disturb the nerve system and make the children cross and peevish, Coarse brown paper soaked in vinegar and placed on the forehead is good for a sick headache If tne eyelids are gen tly bathed in cool water the pain in the head is generally allayed. Baking soda is one of the best known remedies tor burns and scalds, it should be immediately applied either wet or dry Ft almost i rrfBWgrItTc8 the buruing sensation ani 0ps to Beat. When putting glycerine ou chapped hands first wash them thoroughly in soap and water, and when not quite dry rub in the glycerine This process will be found much better than the old one. On rising in the morning always put on tbe shoes and stockings the first thing. Nevsr walk about in the bare feet, or stand on oil clolh. Even in summer time this is a dangerous and un healthy practice. lu case of poisoning, one of the best emetics is salt and water, the quantity being two tablespoonfuls of salt to about a pint of tepid water It acts promptly and has the advantage of al ways being near at band. People subjected to cold feet and hands should get up a brisk circulation just before retiring by rubbing the entire body with coarse flannel or a Turkish towel. Rub regularly and briskly until in a good glow. This is also good for sleeplessness. O ie of tbe best cures for croup, and one which is always at hand, is to dip strips of flannel in very hot water and then bind tightly.about the throat. Re move as soon as cold and apply others. A cold in the chest can also be cured by wetting several thicknesses of flannel in hot water laying it upon the chest. One of the best and most strengthen ing drinks, as well as a pleasant one. to give a delicate cbild, is made by beating up an egg in a tumbler with a little su gar until it froths, then (111 it with rich milk and have tbe child drink at once The nourishment in the egg and milk combined will sustain the system all daj if nothing else is taken. 7" A mound of unusual size and per fection has been explored in Kanawha county, West Virginia. Tbe monnd is five hundred and forty feet in circomfer ence at tbe base. In tbe remains or a tomb discovered near its centre, was a skeleton seven feet six inches in length, and nineteen inches across the shoul ders. On tbe breast was a copper gor get and on each arm six copper brace lets, and on the skull were bands of cop per. Other and smaller skeletons were found within the walls of tbe tomb, also a number of lance heads, sheets of mica and various implements. Tbe largest of these skeletons lay with tbe bead to the East. The contents of this mound were unusually interesting, but were of about tbe same nature as the discoveries in all t ie mounds that have been open ed. The relics shed no new light on tbe history of the 'people whose bones are entombed In the mounds Tbe mound in the Marietta Ceme'ery is one of the beat preserved specimens of tbe kind in the country. It has never be n opened, though many persons, deceived bv shadowy stories which bare been afloat for years, think that the monnd has been explored. About the year 1817 a mound on Fifth street, near Col. Mills property; was explored by Win. Glines and his father, while workmen were preparing to remove it. This mound was fifteen feet high and the di ameter of its base twentv-flve feet. Near the centre was found a skeleton. some stone axes of different colors, and a metal ornament composed of copper and silver. The opening of thia mound is probably the only foundation mere is for the story that the .beautiful cone of earth and green award in our cemetery had been entered. There is little to be gained by opening it, other than tbe gratification of an idle curiosity. Let it remain intact, and wrapped in it? man tle of enchanting mvstery Leader. Got 'Em Both. Oalveston News. Mr. John Warren is the oldest settler in Hockley, and is probably one ot tbe most successful deer hunters in the State A few days ago he met witb success un precedented throughout all bis bunting experience, through that strategic ma neuvering known only to the experienc ed trapper, Mr. Warren came within ri fleshot of an unsuspecting buck browsing upon the prairie, and fired upou him About 150 yards further on was ancther drer, feeding around ae unoonoorixd as bis companion. At tbe crack of the huntsman's trusty rifle both deer started off at full speed, running directly toward each other. In closing the distance be tween them, and about midway, the two leer collided with terrible force, one of them springing about twenty feet n the air, and boil) falling to tbe ground dead killed by the collision. On examin ing the bodies Mr. Warren found that be had slightly wounded the buck at which he had shot, and that the death of each had been caused by tbe force with which the animals had come to gether. Scoie one for Warren. ! Naturally. Jefferson City rribuue.l '-Ob, pa, there is an awfnl fight around tbe corner!" "Yes ?" said pa, indifferently. . "And one man has chewed the other's ear off." "Yes?" "And the other man has shot off bis pistol and killed a baby !" "Poor baby," yawned pa. "Ain't y goin' round there ?" "Presently," replied pa. In a short time everything became quiet, and pa rushed frantically around tbe corner and arrested an old woman for selling matebes without a license Pa was a policeman. From all accounts, at least five thou sand hotels will be built in Georgia this year, each larger than the other. Saving a Fragment ot Humanity. Chicago Herald. 'lK I saw one ot our policemen drag a drenched and tattered bit of humanity out of a hallway tbe other morning just before daybreak, The night had aeen wild overhead and merciless beiojr, - Tbe clouds were piled upon each other, and oyer each other, as I have seen tbe ice crack and crush together ii7tNF hrpftUincr rln nf o lrin,r strjMiru winter , There was nothing unusual in the sight ot tne capture just related. An ota time feeling crept over me, howevwj and I followed that stalwart sentinel of the city's safety and bis ltltlo captive, who rooked to me as If be were buisT chunk of a eloud dropped from tbe, black embankments above I followed them into tbe station, and the "culnrit. .for such hehad ;w grown tobei taken below. Mkvbtj the curiosity v idle and weak, hut I went lo the police court later, and waited until this brat, whose lace had been photographed in the mind, was brought out. There havo been a thousand euch scenes in such places. Tbe officer said the "kid." I think he called bim that, was a night prowler, and would be a thief unless he was sent to the house of correction. The jndge seemed to tarry in this boy's case, and looked over the bench, under the eaves of which the chap's hair could just be seen. He asked the boy if he had heard what (be officer said. Tbe face looked up and tbe words from the lips were so low that they could just be heard : "Please, sir, if I bad somebody to back me in it I mean to do what's right." I saw tbe judge run his pen through a name on the sheet before bim, and the boy went out alone. "He mav have lied, as most of them do," said the judge, "but I'll back him for once, and I believe that if somebody would hack these waifs of the street to the right oftener - tbey would make bet ter men. I never thought of It before though, myself." The clerk of the court told me afterward that the fines during the remainder of that tession were "tempered with mercy." Mr. Blaine is out with an "idee' which he offers as a substitute for ''the Pennsylvania idee" of distributing the surplus revenues of the Federal Govern- ment among the several Slates, as well as for tbe "Randall idee" of abolishing the tax on spirits and tobacco. Tbe new "Blaine idee" is to distribute among the States according to population all the revenues hereafter derived from tbe tax on spirits. All these "idees" are mere subterfuges for the accomplishment of the same object : the protection of the existing high protective tariff. Ihere it no good reason for abolishing the tax on spirits, and there is every reason why tbe protective tariff should be gradually and judiciously reduced until there shall be no surplus revenues to distribute among either the States or the hordes of robbers who will besiege the treasury a long as a surplus remains in it. This is the only honest "idee," and it is tbe ono that will finally prevail. Cin. Newt Journal. The Home. A single bitter word may disquiet an entire family for a whole day. One aurlv glance casts a gloom over a whole household, while a smile, like a gleam of sunshine, may light up tbe darkest and weariest hours Like unexpected flow ers which spring up along our path, full of freshness, fragrance and beauty, so kind words and gentle acts and aweet dispositions make glad the sacred spot called home. No matter bow humble the abode, if it be sweetened with kind ness and smiles, tbe -heart will turn long ingly towaids it from all the tumults of the world, and home, if it be ever so homely, will be tbe dearest spot beneath the circuit of tbe sun. JarJohnnie was in the street-cat yes terday witb bis mother, and next to bim eat a very nice looking young man. Af ter some talk with bis mother Johnnie turned to the young roan and said so everybody could hear him: "Am I a dude? ' "Well," replied the young man, "you don'c look like one." "And is that gentleman on the other side of you a dude?" "I snppose not; but do you want to know, mv little fellow ? 1 "Nothing, only mamma said you was the next thing to a dude, and I wanted to know if it was me or the other gen tleman she meant." Ward and Pendleton. Wellsville Sun : We believe, when facts become known, Gdnersl Durbin Ward will work with a mighty power to return Pendleton to the Senate. It is a crime in Washington Terri tory to run a race wilh an Indian, even for fun. EaersoD said : "There is always room for a man of force." He bad probably met Sullivan in a crowd. The White House now contains por traits of all the Presidents of theUaited States except Mr. Baobanan. Your health depends on the onrity of your blood. People who realize this are taking Hood's Sarsaparilla with the best results. It is estimated that over 500 COO tons of paper are made in this country every year, and yet tbe mn who shaves him self L 39 to hunt fifteen minutes before be can find a piece that be dare wipe his lather npon. "I stand," said a stump orator, "or. the broad platform ot the principles of 1776. and palsied be my arm if I desert em. "You stand on nothing of the kind," interrupted a shoemaker in the crowd, "you stand in mv boots that vou never paid me for, and I want the mon ey." Great excitement prevails tbroughont Western Montana over rich mineral dis coyeries in the Coeur de Alene moun tains. Miners and prospectors who re turned state there has been nothing in tbe history of the Western States and Territories equal to tbe richness and volume of the newly discovered fields. Tbe minerals consist of silver, tellnriqm and free milling gold, one hundred do), lais per man per day being taken out of the rim rock of tbe gulche., while in tbe gulches 825 to $40 per man per day ia panned out.