KATES OF ADYEETISLXU.
3 i I.f
m's. Jjn's. I i
?.)) i 7tift (j
WIKK IIAMILTOX. ............. ,W. 8. VANLAW.
HAMILTON & VANLAW,
.j W 7 l li ui j ''
$1:50 Per Year in Advance.
FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS, $2.00.
Lcsrnl ndvertlscments ot lrrnl rntes.
Admlnlstralor'a or Executor's, Attnclu
nil Rond Notices, ..
Death iini! MinHMMn Hi
Mo S-bscrlptlons Taken for Less than Six
WOODSFIELD, MONROE COUNTY, OHIO. TUESDAY. NOVEMBER.), 1886. :,
20 lints inserted free.
The LflnrPst rirrnintrnn 1
, Office Iu Bunk fln'ldlng.
tf . Idrertiscrs Should Consider 1
j siiare. Ji
l WU'C I
A WOMAN'S COURAGE.
Two girls in their night gowns,
sitting Turk-fashion on a rug in
front of a glowing fire. A very
common-place picture perhaps; but
one of the girls was exceedingly
pretty, and both were rather ner
vous at being left alone in the house.
Susie Kirkpatrick' s big brown
eyes were bigger than usual as she
looked at her cousin Neely, and
said: -' . ''- " -.1 ' .
"I think Brian niight have'come
home to-night! He knew we would
be all alone!" -
"I don't suppose he thought anj--Ihin?
about it," observed Neely
Blanc-hard. You can't expect a man's
sympathy in such matters. Besides,
if he couldn't come, ho conldn'Vand
. i 'ti T" 1
tncres an ffiu oi u: i-io you ieei
afraid, Sue?" -
"N o, not exactly; but I am al
most sure I heard some one walking
around the house after supper."
"Oh, I ffuess not!"
"Ycsr I did! I am glad we came
in here to sleep. Neely. There's a
pistol in that wardrobe, on that top
shelf. Brian always keeps it there.
It'B loaded, too."
.. Neely got up and opened the door
with extreme caution. V
"I don't know," she said with a
laugh," "but I'd be more afraid of the
pistol than I would be of . a robber.
But see liere, Sue! Here's an old
overcoat and hat of Bryan's. Don't
you think it would be a good idea to
hang them "'up on the rack in the
hall as a sort of scarecrow, you
know? . I know a lady who always
keeps a couple of old hats hanging
in the hall.to make folks think there
are men in the house."
"There's a good idea," S isic as
sented, as her .cousin dragged out an
overcoat and hat and started down
stairs with them. "You'll get your
death of cold !" she called over the
banisters as Neely descended to the
lower hall in her bare feet.
But bv this time the hat and coat
were being unng upon me racit ma
Neely took in the effect with evi
dent satisfaction, and had just turn
ed to go up stairs when she heard a
light step in the vestibule and some
one fumbling at the door. ,
. It was verging toward midnight,
and 6ome one was trying to get into
'..Neely' s heart gave one wild bound
of terror and she dashed "up the
stairs at a bound.
"Susie," she gasped as she burst
into Brian's room and locked the
door after her, "there's a man a
robber trvinir to get in the front
door?" ' .. : ' ' '..
In confirmation of this awful sur
mise there was a man's step in the
lower hall a faint and muffled step,
as of one moving about with extreme
caution, but still unmistakably a
Susie's face blanched to a death
like whiteness; but, like many a girl
who is naturally timid, in the pres-!
ence of real danger Neely grew eud
Siie heard the step in the dining
room and thought of all the silver.
"What shall we do?" Susie ga sp
ed. ' - -. .. . ' " "'-. ! -'' '
. "I will frighten him away" Neely
exclaimed springing toward the
wardrobe, w hich was still open, and
before her terrified cousin could di
vine her purpose she had snatched
down an old suit of Brian's and be
san to put it on. .
In a moment or so she had array
ed herself in masculine sttire, pulled
?i old cap over her head and tucked
her long hair under the cost collar.
Then she took the loaded pistol in
her hand and went toward the door.
'You won't go down stairs, Nee-
1 C A. L
lj, .Misie crieu in a penect uuus
port of terror. "He will kill you !"
"Hush," Neely - whispered as she
softly undid the door and slipped
out into the hall. "You call over
the banister in a gfuff Voice, 'That
pistol's loaded, Tom. Here, give
me that pair of boots quick."
"Neely," . her cousin whispered,
clinging - to" her arm as she started
down stairs with a ponderous tread,
"Hush! Call calif '
' "That pistol's loaded, Neely,1' said
n very shaky voice over the banis
ters, and -then the young he
ine went stamping down stairs
tKnunrii alio were a riant in Siiven-
leagucd boots. - .
- At the foot of the stairs she paus
ed a moment, and to her unspeaka
ble horror, she saw the audacious
house-breaker in the dining-room
under a full flare of the gas-light
coolly helping himself to a glass of
wine from the decanter on me side
board" Neely didn't know what to do in
that awful moment but shoot him,
so she raised the pistol and pulled
the tri?srer. '
Alas for her aim! Like many
weapons which had been loaded for
a long - time, th pistol wouldn't go
off the first time.
Site tried it again with no better
result, and fortunately for the rob
berbn turned round lust as she was
about to make a third attempt. "
With one bound he sprang for
ward and knocked the weapon out
of her hand. The hammer struck
with considerable force on the floor
and the pistol really did go off, but
fho bill did no damare save bv
plowing a furrow along the wall,
There .was a scream ana a ncavy
full on the upper landing, though,
r.nd Neely felt sure she'had in some
- . .
mysterious way managed to shoot
her cousin Susie.
"Let me go!" she cried frantically,
struggling in the grasp of a strong,
stalwart fellow who seemed to have
tie sinews of steel. "Help! help!"
"Good i heavens!" he exclaimed.
"What arc you trying fo do?" " .
"Help! mu.'der! thieves? robbers!
help! help!" Neely shouted.
' At she struggled in the grasp her
coat unbuttoned and a great mass
of loose golden hair came tumbling
about her face and shoulders.
, "In the name of all that's good!"
exclaimed the astonished house
breaker, and then he let go of her so
suddenly that she staggered against
the wall. ' V r 'A
It was just then that the door
opened and Brian Kirkpatrick strip
ped into the hall, -t,
Neely- flew toward him , w ith a
sense of miraculous deliverance. ;
"Brian," she gasped, "that man
was trving to rol perhaps murder
us!"- V -.: ... -v: -'.u V
"The deuce' he was !"; was Mr:
Kirk patrick's terse rejoinder; and
then he stood Wriag at his cousin's
attire in abject amazement.
A burst of uncontrollable laugh
ter broke the charm.ht last. -
"Ncclv !" Brian cried, for the love
of heaven, what aryou .dnin"ifcjha'Qwarrt.hinu''--V ould you have
those clothes onlT - ':'':.Vr
- "That man,' there," -She murmured
faintly, pointing to tlie would-be i io
tim, "he s a burg'ar, Brian.
"Not much. - That is my friend,
Mr. Nigel IcAlpine. : We came by
the . 11 o'lock train. I had to stop
and tell Bates about tie horses, so 1
gave Nigel my night-. and sent
him on ahad. And do you mean
to tell me vou took him for a bur
glar? . Ha, ha, ha ! , - That's rich !"
A vivid crimson flooded Nee--ly's
face as--she glanced down at
her masculine attire, and felt a pair
of laughin?- -eyes fixed upon her in
mingled amusement and surprise.
"I I thought he was a robber,"
she stammered and then fled precip
itately up stairs.
But she slmost fell on the second
landing over a little white-robed fig
ure that lay in a heap upon the
"Brian," she fried, in a choking
voice, "Come up here. Susie has
fainted. But don't you don't you
dare to bring that man along."
Nigel stepped into the parlor and
honestly tried not to laugh, but fail
ed ignominiously. '
"ity Jove!" he exclaimed, "I had
a narrow escape. . She must, be a
plucky little thing, and she did look
pretty with all that golden hair
tumbling about her in spilfe of her
clothes - ' ;
Susie came out of her faint short
ly, and laid back on the pillows
where" they' had placed her, looking
rather the worse for the"shock she
had had. ; .
"He has come to stay," sobbed
the heroine of the adventure as she
buried her face in the bed clothes.
"I never, never in this world shall
be able to look him in the face
again." - J
"But, of course, ebehad to meet
him in the morning.
"I r.ni sorry I frightened yoii,Mis3
Blanchr.rd," said Nigel, trying to1,
look at the lovely, blushing face op-'
posite without the ghost of a smile,
i "I can't see how Brian came to let
you come alone," she said severely.
"He might have known we would be
"I can't sec what his coming alone
had to do with it," Brian observed
serenely. "It wouldn't have helped
matters, if there had been two hun
dred instead of one. But have j-ou
missed anything this morning, sister
Susan? r Dear knows but he did
commit some petty larceny when he
was sky-larking about here all by
himself." r ,
Neely preserved a dignified silence,
And no efforts to draw her out
"Why do 3-011 avoid me?" Nigel
said to her one day w hen several
weeks had passed without his being
able to win her favor. "If yon will
excuse my saying so. I think you act
yery foolishly about about a trifle.'
'' "'I will not excuse your saying so,"
answered with heightencc
color. "I i-laim the privilege of reg-
ing in' own conduct, Mr. McAl
"If 3'ou knew what I thought of
it all, ) ou would not speak to nne
like that," he said gravely. "From
the first I admired your pluck and
courage. I 'think that was one of
the pluckiest things I ever knew a
woman to do." , '
"Thank you," she $aid stifflv and
the subject was dropped. - '
The weeks went bv,and the Judge
and Mrs. Kirkpatrick were expected
home from Lurope.
Brian went to New 1 oik to meet
thein. He was to be scone several
days; but as Nigel McAlpine re
mained behind, the girls were not
afraid to let Brian go. '
The second night after Brian's de
parture Neely sat up m the library
rather late, writing a letter. When
she had scaled and addressed it, she
blew out the light and flung herself
down in a great easy chur belore the
The coals were glowing beautiful-
lv, but as she looked at them fade
away one bjT one till at last she was
enveloped in the impenetrable dark
ness of slumber.
It was almost an hour later that
she was aroused trom her sleep by a
slight touch on the shculder. '
As she started up she saw Nigel
McAlpine landing over her. k'
"Miss Blanchard," he whispered,
while he warned her with a gesture
to keep perfectly quiet, "there is
some one in the house a real rob
ber this time." -
A momentary gleam of amuse
ment shone in his eyes, but it died
awav almost instantly.
"Take this," he said, thrusting
Brian' pistol into her hand. "It
will shoot now. But stay where you
are no, get behind this screen."
He took her by the arm and,with
perfect presence of mind, disposed
of her before she had realized the
As she stood there behind the
screen with beating heart and trem
bling limbs, Nigel entered the dining-room
where t wo men were rifling
the plate chest. -;
Neely heard vihdi seemed to" her a
volley of pistol shots. , There was a
brief scuffle, a heavy fall, mingled
with curses and groans; and Nigel
McAlpine stood in the doorway with
the blood streaming from a wound
in his head.
"Miss Neely," he called.
The screen was overturned and
she sprang toward him with a glad
cry that froze to horror as it left her
"'ou are sh Vahe gasped.
'iCvfa ioJ wiping away the
bloocrfith U:, 'findkerchicf. "It's
only a flesh ouad One of them
is lying ' on thte dining room floor;
the other got away, but I don't think
he will run very far he's got a pis
tol ball in his leg.
. "There were were two of them!"
she cried seizing his arm, as a sud
den faintness spread a film before
her eyes. "You might have been
"What if I had?" he said drawing
rjV3arlinS - ': '-VC
ie coma not answer inen, nut
but-clung to him in a way he under
The wounded burglar was remov
ed - to the station-house and the ac
complice was arrested next morning
on the road.
Neither was fatally injured but
both were sentenced to n number of
years in the penitentiary.
When Nigel lay in the library the
next morning, with his head band
aged up under a crimson silk smok
ing cap, he sent for Neely. She had
carefully avoided him before break
fast. As she came in he rose deliberate
ly and shut the door.
". "Yon wished to sec mo," she said
in a conscious way. "Can I do an
thing for you, Mr. McAlpine?"
"Yes, he answered taking her
hand in his; 'but will you do it,
Neely? I want you to marry me,
because I never saw a girl whom I
love as I love yon. I shall never
see another whom I can love at all.
Will you marry me, Neely?'
Her lovely face was suffused with
blushes. "I never thought I would,'
she said shyly, "but '
. "But what?' ' '
"I have changed my mind.
: Then came a pause which can
hest be filled up by the imagination.
"But you were a robber, after all,'
Neely said after a while. "You rob
nc of my heart, Nigel. I mean to
arrest you for petty larceny.'
"Only make your aims my prison,
and fetter me with the holy bonds
of matrimony! I can bear the pen
alty of my ofl'ense.'
He docs bear it like a man, and a
happy one, too.
lie often tells the story of how
his wife captured a robber, and he
tells it in n way that always re
dounds to her glorv; but he never
"hints that it was-he who played the
villains part. ;
"I: wish you wouldnt tell that
story Nigel, you never tell it straight,'
My .darling, lie replies, "I
am just as promt ot you as tnougii
vou had shot me or the naughty
man yon mistook me for. The part
you played was quite as creditable.'
" Advice to Consumptives.
r On the appearance of the first
63'mptoms as general debility, loss
of appetite, pallor, chilly sensations,
followed by night-sweats and cough
prompt measures for relief should
be taken. Consumption is scrofu
lous diseaseof the lungs; therefore
use t he great anti-serofula, or blood
purifier and strength-restorer, Dr..
Fierce s 'Goldc Medical Discovery.
Superior to cod liver oil as a nutri
tive, and unsurpassed as a pectoral.
For weak lungs, spitting of blood,
and kindred affections, it has no
equal. Sold by druggists the world
over. For Dr. Pierce's treatise on
consumption, send 10 cents in stamps
to World's Dispensary Medical As
sociation, G63 Main Street, Buffalo,
N. Y. -.... -
The Kf gro ruder Democratic Knle.
The Deniocrats have not yet put
the negroes back into slavery, and
it is very generall- agreed now that
they have no intention of doing1 so.
The fact is, the negroes arc getting
along finely ender Dcmocrati aus
pices. The tax returns dint to the
Comptroller-General in 1885 showed
that the negros of Georgia owned
property to the value of $8,153,390.
The returns for the present year
show a gratif ring increase. The to
tal is $8,655,25)8, making the increase
$501,908. The property owned by
the negroes consists mainly of real
estate. Many of them own homes
in the towns and cities, and not a
few of them own farms. 1
The Koyal Flnsta.
Carl Trctzcl's Weekly.
"I say, chum, the Prince of Wales
would be a bad party to play poker
with just after he came from a ban
quet. Don t ou think so .
"I can not say that I can see any
particular good reason why he
should be worse than manv others."
"Why, the man who bet against.
him would be sure to lose."
"The Prince would hold the high
est hand in the deck." ,.'
"What is that?"
"A royal flush."
WIVES! M0TIIERS! DAUGHTERS!
BE YOUI? OWN PHYSICIAN!
A lady who was for j cars a gre
sufferer from Female Complaints and
weaknesses, so common to her sex,
and despaired of being cured, finally
found remedies which completely
cured her, after all else had failed
Any lady can use the remedies and
cure herself, without being subject
ed to a medical examination. From
gratitude she Will send fkek, Re
cipes, Illustrated Treatise and full
directions, sealed. Address (with
stamp). Mns. W. C. Holmes, C58
Broadway, N. Y. Nume paper.)
The eagle is a tough bird, but
when it is put on the back of a dol
lar it is legal tender.
The Lime-Kiln Club.
"Human natnr' am a werry on
sartin thing," said Brother Gardner
as Elder Toots quit shuffling his feet
and laid back for a nap.
. "It am so full of streaks an'
freaks an' noshuns dat it am a won
der de Lawd doan' git discouraged
wid us sometimes.
"A statesman will riz .up in de
eavenin' an' declar' dat we hev de
greatest kentry on airth. Nex'
mawnin', if his coffee am not tip to
par, or his beef-steak am a lcetle off,
he am ready to walk out an' an
nounce to de public dat our system
of gov'ment am one which will even
tooby bring de kentiy to a state of
poverty an' degradashun.
"Dar' am a large class of people
who, whendey hev honey fur supper,
bless de Lawd fur his goodness an'
am ready to subscribe $100 towards
de ereckshun of a new church.
Nex' mawnin', when apple Ba'ss takes
de place of honey, dey emagine dat
ole Satan has got a fust, mortgage
on ebcrything, an dey wouldn't put
up a nickel fur a church if dey had
money to throw away.
"Dar' am proplc who go about
wid broad smiles on deir faces an'
tell you dat dis world am all right.
It's daily growin' better an' "its
plenty good 'nuff fur anybody.' An
hour later, when de grocer or de
butcher has called deir attenshun to
a leetle bill which has run six
months, de scene changes. De grin
am gone, an' dis world am all wrong.
"We plan fur a- huckleberry ex
curshun wid de fcelin' dat our fellow-men
am all right. We wake up
to find dat excurshun spoilt by a
rainy day, an', we at once deciar'
our fellow-men a set of thieA-c"s an'
''Dar am no accuiintin' fur what
poo', weak, vascillatin' human natur'
will do. We expeck men to be
wicked, an' den hold up our hands
obor deir deeds. . We know dat mar
riages can't be happy, but am scan
dalized ober divorces. De male sex
demands Ac strictest vartue in wo
man, an' den tnrns about an' works
deir downfall. We chide de selfish
ness of de world, but hang to all we
git. We denounce an' revile a man
while he libs, an' turn about an'
make a hero and a martyr of him
as soon as de bref leaves his body.
We preach charity to all, but who
of us forgives our fellow-man fur
"I tell yon, my friends, we am a
poo', miserable lot, no matter what
de color or previous condishun, an'
de pusson who has de check to stau'
up an' criticize, his nayburs am per
haps do wust sheep in de lot. We've
got to show de streaks in our natur',
an' de fack dat de man who will
lend you money widout security will
also run away wid your wife must
not be looked upon as anything out
of the rcg'lar track of human natur'.
Let lis now purceed wid de reg'lar
pu n eed in' s."
BllOTHEK I'.EIIEE akises.
Waydown Bcbec arose for infor
mation concerning the winter holi
days. Did the club intend to cele
brate Thanksgiving, Christmas and
New Years as three separate holi
days, or would they be merged into
The President replied that the
three would be celebrated in one,
under the title of Thankschrisyears.
The club adopted this idea three
years ago, and it had constantly
grown in favor. It saved turkey,
cranberry sauce and hard cash, and
gafV the: members two extra days
for pursuing their avocations. The
date would be on Christmas, and it
was likely that Paradise Hall might
be thrown open'on that evening for
a social visit between members.
- FOR CAUSE.
The Chairman of the Committee
on Membership reported that his
committee was obliged to report
against the following candidates for
the causes herewith appended:
Prof. Digatalis, of Alabama; for
suddenly appearing among his
friends with about forty bird-shot
mbedQd m his back, and for being
unable to explain their presence in
a satisfactory manner. He claimed
to have been run over by an ice
wagon, but this committee never
saw an ice wagon loaded with that
kind of ammunition.
The Hon. Castigation Pomfret, of
Richmond, Va.; . was found in a
smoke-house belonging to a citizen
of the suburbs, and claimed to be
studying architecture. While this
committee seeks to encourage all
professions, it believes in the eternal
fitness of tilings. No burglar should
go about doing business by daylight,
and no architect should take mid
night to post himself on the inter
nal arrangements of a ham-house.
a premium. '
Waydown Bebee begged leave to
announce his willingness to person
ally offer a premium for the best
song on the close of the vear, and
on motion of Samuel Shin it was
decided that the club should once
more try- the experiment of encour
aging colored poets to come to the
front. It was resolved to offer a
premium of $10 in cash for the best
poem received up to January 1, and
to limit all contestants to three
verses and chorus. With each poem
sent in must be an affidavit that the
writer is colored, and that he nor
she did not copy any portion of the
said poem from any published work.
The points to be considered are:
. 1st Colorof ink.
. 3d Whether postage was paid in
full or not.
4th Rhythm and meter. .
As soon aa the details were set
tled Whalebone Howker sent to the
Secretary's desk and entered the
following as number, one.
"Oh! deleaves nm a-fnllln' an' a sndnow ha
De Hhrill winds of nuUminjim blowtn snd nn'
Whfehcber way we turn we am visibly remin
ded, Dut we orter git our coal In an' (lggcronour
C110KV8 Oh! de old y'ar am n-dyln'
An' u cull'd folks am lgliin'
Kase we know how de cold will creep around.
De chlllblnlns will affect us,
An' dem bunions will deject us,
An' de feelin' of hard-upnesg will abound.
IT DOES NOT.
The Secretary announced a letter
from Dubuque, la., asking if the
Lime-Kiln Club pinned its faith to
Prof. Wiggins. : He was instructed
to return answer that it does not.
During the first three years of its
existence the club paid a great deal
of attention to meteorologyj but
finally had to ' face the fact that
nothing could be depended on ex
cept a prediction of bad weather.
Uncle Isaac Skivers, of Mississippi,
a colored weather prophet, is just
now coming to the front, but the
club has refused to encourage him
in getting up a cyclone or bringing
about an earthquake.
t I.EtVjpf THE LUKCH.
A postal card walTjreceived from
the Rt. Hon. Gherkin Smith, a gen
tleman who once lectured before the
club on "The Practice of Domestic
Econom'," stating that he was in
jail at La Porie, Ind., on a thirty
day sentence. He had been arrest
ed and sent up for losing his pocket
book and thereby being unable to
pay a two-days' board bill. He
asked the club to forward him ten
dollars, and promised in return to
shortlj' appear in Detroit and deliv
er his new lecture on: "Disguised
Blessings." Samuel Shin moved
that the money be forwarded at
bnce, but the President replied.
"Brudder Shin, you hev' had a
narrer escape fnm bein' fined $2,000.
When de Hon. Smith was heah a
y'ar ago he stopped at my house,
an' our meat an' 'tatcrs run out at
least fo' weeks airlier dan usual.
He also took awaj' wid him two of
my Sunday white shirts an' a neck
tie which cost me four shulins.
Dis club won't send him any cash,
nor write him any letters of conso
lation1. His present situation am a
dessin' in disguise if not fur him
den fur a large majority of de pub
lic. As dar am no furder perishable
bizness befo' dc'meetin' we will
His Dearest Foe.
. f omerville Journal.
"Those two men must have been
intimate friends once," said a stran
ger in Somerville, speaking of two
sworn enemies whom they had
chanced to meet.
"They were," said his friend ;
"regular Damon and Pythias five
years ago. But how did you know
"Because they hate each other so
cordiall'," was the reply. "No men
could hate each other like that if
they hadn't thought the world of
each other once. There's no enmity
to be compared with the enmity that
comes from intimate friendship."
A Cure For Freckles.
American Practitioner nd News.
The skin being washed and dried
is put on the stretch with two fin
gers of the left hand, and a drop of
carbolic acid is applied exactly over
the patch. -When it dries the ope
ration is completed. The skin be
comes white, and the slight sensa
tion of burning disappears in a few
minutes. The thin crust which
forms after the cauterization should
not be disurbed; it detaches itself
spontaneous!' in eight or ten days,
leaving a rosy coloration, which 13
soon replaced by the normal color
of the skin. '
Tronble With Neckties.
Mr. Winks: "I'd just like to know
if you women are ever going to get
through with your follies. Yon have
even taken to wearing stand-up col
lars and gentlemen s neckties.
Mrs. Winks: "And why should
we not, I'd like to know?"
"Well, in the first place, it's an
inconvenient fashion, anyhow. Even
after all these years a man can't
keep the necktie from crawling up
under his ear about half the time,
and I don't see how women can hopt
to at the start."
"Oar plan,, dear, is to keep sober."
Twenty, fonr Honrs to Live.
From John Kuhn, Lafayette, Ind.,
who announces that he is now in
"perfect health," we have the follow
ing: "One year ago I was, to all ap
pearance, in the last stages of Con
sumption. Our best physicians gave
my case up. I finally got so low
that our doctor said I could only
live twenty-four hours. My friends
then purchased a bottle of DR. WM.
HALL'S BALSAM v FOR THE
LUNGS, which considerably bene
fitted me. I continued until I took
nine bottles, and I am now in per
.lie's a Manufacturer.
"What are yon encouraging that
dude for? He is no good for any
thing." "Yes, but I love him."
"Still, how can he support you?
He can do nothing."
"Oh, you are mistaken. He is a
manufacturer. He owns a barber
shop and has several hands at work
in it, and it don't cost him a cent to
have his hair cut."
"Well, then, you had better marry
him, for pa that as long as high pro
tection prevails all manufacturers
"I don't take any stock in these
"I called in Mrs. Doctor Killam
for my wife yesterday, and what do
you think she prescribed."
"Give it up."
"A new fall suit"
The dank and decaying vegeta
tion of regions newly cleared of tim
ber, exposed to the rays of the sun,
is sure to breed malaria. Dr. J. H.
McLean's Chills and Fever Cure, by
mild and gentle action will radical
ly cure them. 50 cents a bottle. "
Last spring I thought I had struck
something rich or rather that some
thing rich had struck me. The Ag
ricultural Department at Washing
ton sent me a little package of gar
den seeds, etc., and requested me to
farm a little for recreation.
The package contained a pint of
beans called "the Senate," a few
"Congress potatoes," and a pint of
corn, which bore the Latin cogno:
men "vox populi." Never having
farmed any in Latin, I looked in the
dictionary and reduced that name
to plain English so that the corn
could understand me and I could
understand the nature of the corn.
I discovered that "vox populi"
meant "the voice of the people;" but
when Melinda (she's my wife) ask
ed for the definition I was thinking
about the voice of the people hav
ing such a mighty poor show in the
affairs'" of this "governmehC'and il
told her it' meant "the voice of a
stray torn cat in the gloaming," or
words to that effect in a political
I wrote a letter of thanks to the
Agricultural Department, and hinted
that there ought to be a small ap
propriation go with the seeds as a
guarantee of good faith and to se
cure the tender care which garden
seeds stand so much in need. I re
marked that the beans misht be
lofty in their aspiration and would
require poles, the Congress potatoes
might not adjourn in time to escape
the early frosts and would need a
cover, and the soil of Pennsylvania
might not acknowledge the corn,
and would need a compost to boost
it alonjr. "
To show thein that v my request
was not without a precedent, I quo
ted a few instances where the gov
ernment had presented railroads to
capitalists, and had thrown in land
enough for cow pasture and a new
The answer came back short and
crisp and very decidedly pointed : -"You
must be crazy!''
Melinda thought I could very
easily secure the appropriation, if it
only required a little bit of crazi
ness, as shewas ready 'at any time
to make affidavit that I was crazy
as a loon, but I told her that was
asking too much. I am willing to
sigh for my country's good, and cry
for it, and live to a ripe old age and
die for it, but I'm not going to play
the crazy dodge for its glory and
honor. I thought that the Agricul
tural Department was asking too
much, or else they had revised the
order of things. I had. always la
bored under the impression that the
thing was altogether vice veisa, and
the government was the crazy party
when the appropriations weie made.
. Then I took off my coat and hat
and under clothes and settled down
to farming. I caught a cold to
cheer me up and keep my mind from
running into politics, and began to
turn over the lich soil with a bor
rowed spade until I had rooted up
enough ground to plant the "Con
gress potatoes." V
I planted them with the eyes turn
ed upward, judging from their name
that they should be placed in the
same position as our small potatoes
in Congress, when a big steal is oi
ted on. Then I spaded up some
more ground and planted that Latin
corn in a translated manner, and
dropped the beans in with the corn.
"1 he voice ot the people came
to the surface in a few days, and
looked over towards the potato patch,
and when it failed to see any sig:
of the rising congress it changed its
color from a pale yellow to a lively
green, and grew up among the cut
worms and other political grubs, and
gave promiseof a fair crop.
I went out every day and smiled
over the patch, and smashed a few
cut-worms between my thumb and
forefinger, and dreamed of an early
green corn dance.
One night the beans came up, and
several cut-worms came up with
each bean. I supposed the cut
worm seed had ben left on the
ground from the last year's "crop.
The cut-worms were too thick for
the beans and corn, and I bejan to
weed out the worms. The. worms
felt a little crowded themselves, and
began to weed out the corn and
beans. We ran the work night and
day. I went on at G a. m., and quit
at.6 p. m., and the worms worked
on the.night tour, and slept through
the day. I was working fcr the
glory and honor of my country, and
the worms were in the vegetable bu
siness, because they hadn't learned
any other trade.
One night the mooly cow broke
into the garden and cleaned the
patch. She gobbled up ' the voice
of the ieople," and ate the ' Senate"
for (Tesert. I wanted to kill the cow,
but Melinda wouldn't let me.
After my corn and beans had
come to a premature end, I turned
my attention to the potato patch
so did the cut-worms. We were
sadly . disappointed. They fyadn't
come up. Like their namesakes,
they had failed to come to the res
cue of their country. Melinda said
I had thrown too much dirt in their
eyes, but I still believe the name
killed them. "Congress" was a fail
ure. My whole spring's labor had
made only one feed for the cow.
My mind was troubled. Melinda
noticed this and sent in ber affida
vit that I had complied with the
rules of the government and gone
crazy, but up to this date no appro
priation has been sent. I still think
the rules are vice A-ersa.
Captain Mitchell, of the bark An
toine Sala, New York and Havana
trade, came home in Maj', entirely
helpless with rheumatism. He went
to the mountains, but receivingo
benefit, at his wife's request, began
to take Hood''Sarsaparilla, He im
mediately began to improve; in two
months his rhematism was all gone,
and he sailed in command of his
vessel a well man. Hood's Sarsapa
rilla will help you.
FOR THE SPIRIT.
IF YOU ARE A PUBLIC-SPIRITED CITIZEX. YOU WILL TAKE YOUR
HOME PAPER BEFORE ALL OTHERS.
riiia powder never varies. A marvel of du-
sity, strength and wholesomeness. More eco
nomical than the ordinary kinds, amt'eannot
be Bold In competition with th.iiiultitude of
low test, short weieht alum or nhosnhate now-
ders. (ohl only in can. Koyal Haking
rowDEB Co.. KM Watl St., X. Y. lys.'aoy.
WEAKNESS, CHILLS AND FEVERS,
MALARIA, LIVER COMPLAINT,
NEURALGIA AND RHEUMATISM.
TT ! Invigorat- . TT eivei NEW
I A T. V
Inr nd De
LIFE to tha
lightful to taks,
nd of greet valus
1 wuui. o 1 o a cm
M a Medicine tcr
tne Muscle, Ton
ing the NERVES,
Besting, the food.
weak and A
Women and Ch;
CONT Alii i
no h u r 1 1 n 1
Minerals, is com
posed oi carefully
ble Medici .ics,
fully, making a
Safe and Pleasant
'.w to treat dis-
i t'1 t; rilci. tsgether
A H. "3 v :ifcp.setoi hand
"" som cards by new
oa r .ccipt'of lo c
r-ners. S' t ! Cut (taller nm
Tar Ml all DrnrW
ym not k-p XO'.I.W (
kvUl. will U iwul, rjunif..
t, reiuft awl a full Km
M..T .: OK1.T 1T :
Volina Drug ar.d Chemical Company,
ALTUUUE, D C ft. A.
X I IYSICIAN8.
DIS. II. OKJfXIE, !
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON,
BEAIXSVIIXE, OHIO. ' .
Office in the Armstrong property. '
J. II. PCOII, Jt. D. J. W. WKBEli, M. J
Physicians and Surgeons,
Calls from all parts of the county will receive
prompt attention. Chronic diseases and Sur
sery will receive prompt attention. apr8,'86y.
JAMES A. McCOY.
13 E3 3NT "X1 X SI- ,
Visits Woodsfleld rcsmlarly. I pttnrnntce bet
ter work and use better materials than any
Dentist in the county. aprli",'84.
L. I. Diehl, M. I.y
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON,
Bv close attention to business expects to
merit public palronn?o. Calls from any part
of the county will receive prompt attention
day or night. . , mcliM,'.
W. J. Git IM ES, M.
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON,
OfBce over Bert Jones' Grocery. Calls
promptly attended. oprl8,'8Gy
O. W. HAMILTON,
ATTOKNEY. AT LAW.
JAM EH 1YATSON,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
janiU.m. ' '
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
Will practice in Monroe and adjoining coun'
ties. Otlce south of Public Square, up stairs
in Kctterer's building. apru.He,
W. V. WALTON.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Notary I?u. blic,
WOODSFIELD, OHIO. !
Office over Pope's Drug Stora. IcloH.
WILLIAM OKEY WILLIAM P. OKKY,
WM OKEY & ROK,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Will practice in Monroe and adjoining: conn
tics. Omce south of Public Square, formerly
occupied by Hollister Okey. nichUSi
J.ll ABXCKM, - W. F..MAI.LORY,
lr.AUirney. JSotnrg iww
DUIGGS & S1ALLOUY,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Will practice in Monroe and adjoining coun
ties. Office i.t the room formerly occupied by
Hunter & MaUory. je28
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
IvTota r y 3? x "tolio,
Woodslleld, Olilo. .
Will practice In Monroe nnd adjoining coun
ties. fjy-Office up stall's in Monroe Bank
t,i f Cell n or whom il mail conrrrn l
Notice Is pcreby piven that M. Thomas icr
L. SulsbcrRcr, Sheriffhas paid Into the County
Treasury a sum sufficient to redeem the north
west quarter of the northwest quarter of range
4, township three of section 8, eighty acres,
4o'd at a Delinquent Tax Sale by John Biicr
sepster, Tre.istnvr of Monroe County, Ohio,
January 10, 1K, in the name of Michael
Thomas to l. . vcurn.
1 II. It. MlTHLEMAN.
octQB.'siiwS' Auditor Monroe County, Ohio.
ilini UVT I
Prosecuting Attorney.. .
A. .1. Peahhos.
.II. II. MVHI.EMAN.
.UYBCS E. Mll.LKK.
ASH EH OKKY.
K. J. Oil AH AH.
..H. t. Armstrong.
;N. 11. lARIEN.
TOHS Itl ltT.
EX. II A 1! VOX.
Infirmary Directors. ....... Krei
Marshal . . .
.John W. Poherty.
Geo. P. Dorr.
..' Kritz Reek.
.'. V, I.AKO.
I J. P. Ki'Rittns.
1U -V. Poi-K.
I. P. l-'AH()l'lAR.
Street Commlwdoner. .
CHUJtCII. i .
CHRISTIAN CHCRCH.-Rev. W. II. De
VOKK, PiiMtor. Social mooting and com
munion each Iord'H Day at 10'i o'clock A. m.
Services on aecond Sunday in each month at
11 o'clock A. M.; also, 7 o'clock l M.. Sunday
School 9 o'clock A. M.
ME. CHURCII.-Sorvlces at the M. E.
Church, 'WoodHfleUi, each Snlilmth.
Preachlnjr at 10.30 A. M. and 7 P.M. Sunday
School 11.30 A.M. Prayer meeting each Thurs-
aay ut 7 p. jt. raauir, Rev. H. p. 1ovoi.a.
TJRESBYTERIAX PHrRCII. Krrvlora nt
A. the Preshytcriun Church, every two weeks
at -J', o'clock p. M. Sunday School each Sun
riny nt 1 o'clock p. it. Praver mcetincr i-nch
Wednesday evening at 6',i o'clock. Pastor.
Rev. W. T. Oaiiroway.
ST. SYI.VKSTER'S CATHOLIC CHURCH.
Rev. Father Weisinoek. Pastor. Ser
vices at 8 and 10 o'clock A. M. Sunday School
at z P. x. eupcrs and Ik-nedlctlon nt 8 p. M.
CT. PAUL'S GERMAN EVANGELICAL
7 t:iii:ilCH. sen-Ices every two week at
It) o'clock . M. Sunday School each Sunday
at 0 o'clock A. m. Services each alternate
Sunday at IiCWlHville at 10 o'clock A. H. Paa-
tor, IteV. A. J. WIXTERICK.
irOODSFIELD LODGE NO. S77, I. O. O.
T V F. Meets eve ry Tuesday evening. A.
J. Pkakron, N. O.; O. O. Jkskinos, Scc'y.
-ITTOODSFIELD ENCAMPMENT, NO. 10.
T Meets in. Lodge Iloom the first and
third Friday evening of each month. Ash er
ukey, v. r.; t ijitz kekk, Scribe. .
-lTNKOE LODCE NO. 1W). F. A.M.
1VL Meets at Maronlc Hull in Woolsflclil. on
ednesday evenings, on or before each full
moon. j. i'. ttmiGos, v. M.; jas. It. Mor-
-lirOODSFIELD CHAPTER NO. Ki. R. A
y V M.-Meets in Masonic Hall, Woodsfleld,
tm jnmuay evening alter mil moon. J. 1'.
spuiGoa, 3i. k. il. p.; jah. H, Morris, Sec y.
JOHN G DISTLEtf, Pr. prletcr.
The Arlington Hotel Is newly fitted out,
ami tiic proprietor win spare no pains to ac
commodate the public in the best of style.
l'lenty ot good stable room. v lyissu,
JACOB BUBKHART, Proprietor,
Main Street, W'iolslicIil, Ohio.
Guests will find the best necommoilations nt
Hits hotel, and no pains will be spared to make
tnem comiortaoie. Katea very reasonnoie.
Sthh'IhI care will lie taken of horses.
The proprietor of this Hotel Is also General
insurance Agent lor lour oi the leading com
panics of the United States. nprJi.'Stiy.
THE HOWELL HOUSE,
Nop. 1208, 1210, 1212 & 1214,
Water Street, Wheeling, W. Va.,
Is the place to stop. Ail newly fitted tip and
in first-class shape. Monroe County people
snoutu miiKe sure to stop mere, as tuey ureal
ways welcome, W. B. -HOWELL, Prop.
PA U LL STREET,
0. POULTOJi, - - Proprietor.
Having purclinsed the aliove named Hotel,
and furnished it eomfortibly "or the accom
modation of travelers, I cordially Invite them
to visit me.
KATES IU0ASON AIIIjX:.
Also, proprietor of TOWN HALL and SKA
TIXO KINK. Dancing parties accommoda
ted at an nines. uec,'oy.
jonnsr -a., lash,
Cor Main and Eleventh ets.,
Wheeling-, West "V"a.
All Goods warranted and sold 'nt the lowest
prices to be obtained.
Branch Office In Martin's Ferry.
TOSEPHUB COX nnd Margaret I Cox
J whose lKwtolllce address and plnce of rest
dence are unknown, will tnke notice, that on
the 11th day of Seitemlier. ll, Kdwnrd K,
Zane, as guardian of George, John. Edwanl
nnd James Schaul), minor heirs of Michael
Schaub. deceased, filed his Dctltlon against
them and others in the Court of Common Plena
of Monroe County, Oh'o, in which petition, he
asks for a finding that said Josepnns Cox Is
Indebted to him on a note dated April 1st, lsR4,
at two years, signed by .losephus Cox for Two
hundred and fifty dollars and payable to the
order of Michael Schaub, with eight per cent
Interest from da, paynbleannually, interest
pold to April 1st, lite; also, to forclose mort
gage fclven tc secure said notes signed by Jo
scphus Cox and Mnrgnrei u. Cox, nnd to sc.l.
the following describee1 real estate descriol
in said mortgage, to-wit: The northwesvquar
ter of the southwest quartcrof w-ction twenty
five, township three of range five, containing
thlrtv-three acres, for the purpose of paying
said indebtedness. Yeu are reiilred tonnswor
said petition on or before the 13th day of No
EDWARD E. ZANE, Guardian.
I5v Drioos AMaxloby, his Att'ys.
To Txaac llatehrr or. VThom it may Conerrn:
Notico is hereby given that Michael Salis
bury has iald Into the County Treasury asum
suttlcicnt to redeem the southeast Quarter of
tne southwest quarter and the south half of
the southeast quarter of range 5 ot townehlp 2
of section ft containing 79 acres, sold at a De
linquent Tax Sale, by John Ruegsegger, Treas
urer of Monroe County, Ohio. January 1, 1HN8
In the name of Michael Salisbury to Isaac
- Auditor Monroe County, Ohio.
I flin fcTPfl'MQ NEWSPAPER
LUilU U I lil. J3f Advertising, 45 to
49 Randolph St Chicago, keep this paper on fllo
and are authorized to f nUXnTICCDC
make contract with J, J ft CH I Idblldl
- AND '
Business Directory of Weos-
...... kimiiiiu fHW 1HIIHI lilt H'H
tllKlI v.ill.tKI l)...,!...,.. IT
.-..v. ...w-, iiiKiiui: juniiii;rt jiuilW'K HIKl 1 11
tries of WixxlKfioM nrranced In nlphnN
voiimuw me nm ior your uiiuy m
tnflmi thn tiiomhnnl
this column. ,- .
A V. SLACK,
And dealer In Medicines, Toilet and Knnc '
tides, etc. Careful attention given to preii
- J- REINHER11. i
couee nnu isundwicDcs. Pure Confcc
ones, Ice Cream. Cor. Public Square.
OOTS 4 SHOES.
lU-pnlrlng nnd Manulactiirlng prompll'
tended to. South Side of East Row. '
S. L- MOONET, Prcs't.
...... .... ,v, f. i , VH.-MULT.
Receives mcaiey on Deposit.
BOOTS AND SHOES. '
. E. M. UKAlsn.
.Manul'iH-lui'or nd denier 4n JfcHitunmi
Repairing neatly nnd prouijitl v done. C
of Sycamore and Marietta streets.
-MERCHANT TAIIX5R.- !
East side of public tSijuare.
R. W. TOPE.- ' '
Medicines, Perfumeries, Toilet Arl teles, l!
School rkKilis nnd reading .mutter. Pre'
tions carefully compoumk'd. Main cross
17" KOEIILER, il
It. iENEHAL DEALER IN I;
Mercliandise of all IcImU. i.',.t Mi.i.i r I
street. . "
I7"IRE INSURANCE AGENCY. f
: W.V.WALTON I
IJ1ISKJKI,II, OHIO. !
J-Oflico over Pope's Drug Store. i
1 GEO. lflCHVKTI Kfivu
Highest cash price paid for Whcat.'oat
Corn. Hour and Feed for sale. On East
nROCER. . ij
. T nt'DTT 1 If, 1
V l)IilUl.HH t- t
Denlor in 8tntte end Knncy (roooriin, Tf4'
rn.CMsriim nn) rimr.wilmie .1.... x.
of PoKtofflce. . , 1
CI IUK'ERS. ,
T P.SCHUMHCHER, JR.,4nno.,'
comer of Public Squure. jl
VT -H. E. IUTRKHEAD 4 CO.,rRO'Sj
Half cnsli pnld for Rutter and lggs. ;
Agent for Daiay Roller Flour. Smith I
Farming Ininlements. Cmlorv .in. I i
Everything first class in Hu'rdunrc 1
Main street, t
DECKHCTE, Titoi-K. f
Good nccommndntton for tnivclcrs. Itn
rnngcnicnts. West end of Main Cross st n
Keepsnn hands Cutlery.Fariiilnglmriteint
l-crliliicr mid (ilnss. Call and gel iiii
Southwest cor. Public Square.
MORRIS fc ARMSTRONG.
liK-nera. Merchandising Goods. West!
ii -i iuuiic (-quure.
RS. D. NEUHART,
Cutlery, Fnnnlng Implements, &e. Sut
west comer Pan 11 and Main Cross streets.!
J.V DEALERH IV- t
Anything In a General Merchntidisini; 1:
ness. Soutlicast comer Public Squnre.
1'IAN OfS. OltCJ ATVS. AC
Is offering speciul Inducements in j
H-. in AfCitt tor tlic .
Stelnway & Decker Bros. Piar.
PRICES WAY DOWN!
b i fa Mi th,!
Wo arc offer! lie Special In.Intf
mcnls to mrchascrs nt any-l
iiuiik m me music KiiH1.
Cannot le stirpiised. nnd big prices ri u till
of the past, our stocK embraces everytbt
from a Jews Harp to a
And we cheerfully offer to pay your expenj
to visit us to select a t
PIANO OR ORGAt
Cornspondcnce soliclt,d and Cataloguesi
InstruineiUN,llookinnd Sheet Music sentl r
H. 1). MU.NS0N & SOXSt
" 23a.n.o3xrillot O.
nprt7,8ti:ii6. ; L
NOTICE OF APOLNTMENT.
EiUUt of Vrphfut Hart, Ifeccancil.
rpnE uiiderslcnel has been nppolnted ;
I qualilKMl as Exi-culrix of the will of t
plum Hart, late of Monroe County, (Ihthk
J)iteil thislithduy of Oclilr, A. I), lsvi,
oia,2B'biH. , i. bAR.AU UAUlt
xml | txt