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fc. W. HARRIOTT. Editor Entered at the Birmingham. Ala., poat offlce as second-class matter under act of Congress March 3, 1879. Daily and Sunday Age-Herald.f8-°0 Daily and Sunday, per month.73 Sunday Age-Herald, per annum.2.00 Weekly Age-Herald, per annum. 100 Subscription payable in advance. L. H. Russ* and George D. Rrittain are the only authorized traveling representa tives of The Age-Herald in Us circulation department. No communication will he published without Its author's name. Rejected man uscripts will not be returned unless •tamps are enclosed for that purpose. Remittances can be made at current fate of exchange. The Age-Herald will not be responsible for money sent through the malls. Address THE AGE-HERAL/D. Birmingham. Ala. Eastern business office. rooms 48 to 50, Inclusive, Tribune building. New York City; western business office. Tribune building, Chicago. The S. C. Beckwith Bpeclal Agency, agents foreign advertis ing. Washington Bureau Age-Herald 1421 G ■treet. N. W. _ One drunkard loves another of the name. —Love’s Labor Lost. Painters and Decorators. This city is full of delegates who have come here to attend the inter national convention of Master House ■ Painters and Decorators of the United States and Canada that will be opened In Armory hall today. The representa tives of the men who make the build ings of nearly a continent look attract ive Inside and out are here, and they will today be warmly welcomed to this district and city. The convention is doubtless the larg est that ever sat here, and the Interests It has charge of are extensive and Im portant. Everything relating to the twentieth century painter and deco rator will be within the scope of (ha convention, and its discussions will be carefully reported. The Age-Herald trusts that between the periods of serious deliberation the delegates will find much here that will Interest them. They will certainly find a warm welcome on every hand, and a general desire to render their stay in the city one that will be re called pleasantly. Birmingham’s Finances. The Macon Telegraph finds fault With Mayor Ward because he does not bring the city’s expenses within its in come. The desirability of making both ends meet is beyond question, but the Telegraph fails to point out how it can be done. If Birmingham were a slug gish town, growing slowly, it perhaps might be accomplished speedily, but when on a town that is fairly bursting with prosperity is imposed a constitu tional limitation of taxation, It is not easy to do what the Telegraph says Mayor Ward should do. Under the constitution of 1901 Bir mingham can not levy a tax for city purposes higher than 1 per cent, and valuations for city taxation must con form to those for county and state tax ation. If therefore valuations are un duly increased here, the people of this city would be called to pay an undue proportion of state taxes, and they are now paying one-seventh of this state's taxes. The Telegraph will thus see that be tween a tax limitation and a booming City Mayor Ward has a task that may fairly be denominated difficult. And yet Mayor Ward is pulling towards the goal. He is trying to bring the city’s expenses within its Income by prudent administration of its affairs. He can not do this in a single year, but if the Telegraph will look this way occasion ally it will some day see the task ac complished. Opening Alabama Rivers. The Mobile Item Is mistaken if it thinks the government does not build locks and dams in the Warrior and Tomblgbee by contract. True, the gov ernment is now building a lock and dam in the Tombigbee without the use of contractors, but that became neees sary because the contractors almn doned their task. Appropriations for our rivers, as the Item says, "come in driblets," often times being held up by the condition of the federal treasury. "Let's ail hope," says the Item, "that Congress will wake up soon; the sooner the bel ter, if this great waterway link be tween tha raw products of Alabama and the construction plants of the Pan ama canal Is to be definitely completed. At least let the work be rushed fast enough so that its completion will not be lagging behind that of the waterway across the Isthmus." . This is sound doctrine, and if Mobile will help the up districts of the state perhaps Congress can be induced to hasten the work of opening the Ala bama riverB. A great deal of work has been done in the Warrior and Tomblg bee, and one good round appropriation would open both to Locust and Mul berry forks. In order to bring Into use IWbat has been expepded, and in order to let Alabama coal be carried to tide ' pater at the lowest possible rates, it | is best, to use the words of the Item, I that Congress should wake tip. Up i this way we have been trying to wake ! it up, but appropriations for rivers and harbors are, alas, apportioned some what on the basis of population, no one state being permitted to get an undue proportion of pork. Alabama is. how ever, entitled to an Open Warrior Ini view of the fact that West Virginia has an Open Kanawha and Pennsyl vania an Open Monongahela, both of^ which are trying to drive Alabama coal out of market. Monongahela coal is floated 2000 mills in order to over whelm Alabama coal which is mined near the Gulf, and the governmant ren dered this possible. It should there fore set things right and natural by Opening the Warrior. Judge Lynch in Elrwoh. In a county that contained in the last census year 27,301 inhabitants, only 4306 of whom were negroes, Judge Lynch held court, on Sunday morning, when a prisoner against whom no in dictment was pending was taken out of the county jail and summarily hanged. However much the mr.-b of rwenty flve may have been incensed by the commutation of the sentence of an other negro, it is plain that the lynch ing in IJtowah would not have taken place if the perpetrators of the butch ery in Limestone had been hunted down in a systematic manner, it does not appear that a serious attempt- -out side of paper—was made to punish the men who disgraced the state at Elk niont. No detective was employed, no really genuine work was done there, and the lynching at Gadsden followed naturally and promptly. A lynching era in Alabama lias been Inaugurated, and it will go on until the authorities show a determination to bring the lawless to punishment. No such determination was shovel at Elk mont, and it is reasonable to presume that Gadsden will be treated in a like manner. Popular Election of Senators. The Iowa legislature is trying to se cure the calling of a constitutional con vention which shall submit an amend ment for the election of Senators. Two thirds of the state can call a conven tion, hut any proposition the conven tion presents must be ratified by three fourths of the stR'es. An attempt to secure an amendment of the constitution Is scarcely feasible, for once a convention Is called there would be no end ot propositions that would be laid before it. Very many voters would oppose it on that account. It is not possible to call a convention, and confine its work to any particular subject or subjects. This can not be dene. There will not therefore be a convention. There need not be. There Is no real reason why there should be one, sim ply because the senatorial provision of the federal constitution can be set aside precisely as the presidential electoral scheme was. Iowa has but to look towards Alabama this summer to see how It is done. Alabama needs no constitutional amendment, because ^he popular election of United States Senators can be had without it. The slow process of a constitutional amend ment Interests no one In this or any other southern state, and when the people of Iowa become stronger than her politcians, that state will select United States Senators precisely as Alabama does. Alabama is in fact preparing to fore stall both the legislature and the gov ernor in electing United States Sena tors, and Its Is scarcely possible to carry the direct election of Senators even by a constitutional amendment to a finer point. Let Iowa watch Ala bama this year, and then she will know how to do it. without resorting to the tedious cout'-e of changing au almost unchangeable Instrument. Will Ml 117or seems m lie noxious to set the Yerkes fortune Into good, easy, ac cessible shape, and the trustees wholly disagree with him. Will finds this a vexatious world. France is planning to have threatrea where the best actors and actresses can ho seen for prices ranging from 3 to 20 cents. What will become of melodrama now? A “Colonel” from Lake Village, Aik., went to Hot Springs for ills health and met a handsome woman in one of the hotels who took $7000 away from him. Wedding presents can be mailed up to high noon of Saturday. We do not know what high noon is, but it fits all wed dings, or rather has up to this time. All reports to the contrary notwith standing, John D. Rockefeller is still missing, and the detectives cannot detect his whereabouts, or what alls him. The Philadelphia W. C. T. V. will not ask Miss Roosevelt to prohibit wine at her wedding and thus escapes being made the laughing stock of the country. Colored church members in St. Paul had a fight over the collection plates, be cause money, you know, is the root of all evil. The McCurdys despise insurance re form and the land that harbors it. They are going to join Count Boni In gay Pare* Columbus wants a cracker factory and the Savannah Press opines that there are j already crackers enough in Georgia. - - —-— The first case of an Indian bankrupt is i reported from Sioux Falls. Heretofore the red man merely “went broke.” Medicine Hat keeps a full line of sam ples of cold waves, but it seems to have lost some of its dispatching power. The Connecticut library that has boy cotted Jack London’s book must have been worked by his press agent. One-fourth of New York's derelicts are college-bred men. still, they are no argu ment against a college education. Thus far newspaper notoriety does not j seem to have lessened the happiness of Miss Alice or our wigless Nick. Readers of Jack London's books in Derby, Conn., must apply to the book stalls. This suits Jack. It is rumored that James J. Jeffries may : fight again, lie is going to keep on until he Is knocked out. Dr. Osier feels sore towards Alabama. Ilis doctrine is not heeded here in sena- j torlal contests. King Leopold is charged with African graft. There are fc\v faults he is rxcfi. j charged with. The counTry library that lias barred ; Jack London's brilliant books are entitled to his thanks. Uncle Sam owns sixty fine squirrels in j Washington and Senator Uettus helps to feed them. A Portland man swallowed a toothpick and has appendicitis. He ought not to be surprised. A Chicago doctor is accused of robbing a patient. The idea of suggesting such a ; thing! King Alfonso and Ena are as chummy , over seas as our Nick and Miss Alice are here. ,9 Newspaper!ng by injunction is an At- ( lanta fashion that will never become pop ular. There is nothing in a name, to be sure, but that of Admiral Goodrich sounds well. The odor of gasoline from an auto comes high, and people begin to want it. j Count Bonl will have to look elsewhere when he next tries to market his title. Johann Hock will be hanged at about the same time that Albert T. Patrick la. Now they are accusing Datto Bryan of having precipitated the Chinese 'boycott. Longworth begins to wish there was no such thing In the world as cut glass. In Japan the blind are taught to be masseurs. That beats selling papers. A cold wave will not camp with us long In these closing days of winter. The cable with William Nelson Crom wrell at one end of It should be cut. Mr. Longworth needs a storage ware house more than he does a home. The Cudahy boy cannot Identify Pat Crowe as his esteemed kidnaper. American heiresses want no Valentines this year from French counts. Marriages that have no money in them never go wrong. The groundhog winter Is rather wild mannered. The season of repentance Is drawing near. BERNHARDT IN A SNOW FIGHT. From the Pittsburg Dispatch. For about three minutes this afternoon Mme. Sarah Bernhardt engaged in a i fierce snowball battle with as much fer vor as the boys of the BelleflsJd school, | on Fifth avenue. w»ho had started the fight. Mme. Bernhardt left the Hotel Sehenley, where she Is stopping, in an open carriage, accompanied by her man ager. Frederic Mayer. Sh^ was bound for the Belasco theatre to play at a matinee. When the Bellefleld school wan reached 200 boys were having a snowball fight. Although Mme. Bernhardt was almost entirely enveloped in a great ’ squirrel-skin coat, one of the boys recog 1 nlzed her and yelled "Here comes ; Sarah!" Two hundred snowballs whizzed : about the carriage, many of them Hit . ting the actress. M. Mayer was furious * and ordered the driver to whip up his horses, but Madame laughed and coun ! ternmnded the order. Then, gathering | up the snow, which by this time filled ' her lap. she was soon making snowballs I herself and doing her best to hit her ad , versaries with them. When the carriage had passed out of range of the school boys Mme. Bernhardt looked like a , snowman, .but she was laughing heartily | and waving her adieus to the boys. M. I Mayer failed to enter Into the spirit of ! the fray, for his silk hat was knocked j off early in the fight. NO WAITERS. NO TIPS, NO DELAY ■ From the Technical World. | Ingenious automatic restaurants have Recently been introdaced in Berlin. Cabi nets with glass fronts line the walls, and through these glass fronts are to be seen j rows and rows of little elevators, with ' the slots and mechanism for working j them. On one side of the restaurant is fitted an "automat" bar, where, by j dropping the indicated price into the j proper slot, the wished for drink comes ! to the waiting customer. Shelves, all ; around, oh the little elevators, bring up i hot soups, hot roasts, cold treats, pies. 1 sandwiches, ten. coffee In factN^vhatever is on the menu, and that is changed daily. All the customer has to do is to decide what he wants, drop liis coin in the little opening, and await results. In less than a minute, up comes his* meal, raised by electricity from the kitchen in the basement, and it comes either ' steaming hot or ice cold, just as ordered and clean, fresh and sweet, with no j dirty hande* waiter, with black cuffs nml j greasy napkin, to take your appetite ' away while handing it to you. A BAD BREAK. From the Sheffield Standard. A Tuscumbla dispatch says the bank rupt Tuscumbla Mercantile Company will pay 30 cents on the dollar, which in dicates that “all is lost save honor." 1 ( IN HOTEL LOBBIES j Oak Hill Cemetery. “Few people,” said F. G. Sheppard," ap preciate how much is being done by this city towards beautifying Oak Hill ceme tery. The trouble there all along has been the control of flood water in wet weather. It has had a tendency to tear roads and waJks, and even lots. But It can do so no longer. “All the gutters are being cemented, and surplus water will slide out of the way in a harmless and noiseless manner. Lots can hereafter be placed in excellent con dition with nil assurance that they will remain intact. “The good work should go on until every gutter in the cemetery has a rounded ce mented bod. It Is precisely what the cem etery has long needed, and the city au- ! thorities deserve praise for what they are I doing in our City of the Dead." Southern Athletes. “The south will in all probability be represented on the American team which goes to the Olympian games in Athens, Greece,’’ said a man who is interested in amateur sports. "The chairman of the committee to arrange for the American team has asked the Southern Amateur Athletic union to aid financially in send ing the American team to Burope, and the south is responding nobly. It is only i just that we should have representatives on the team. We have several men who, I If they cannot finish first, have excellent ; chances of finishing second or third in several of the events. “The amateur record for the 100-yard dash is held by Cjueyrouse, a member of one of the New Orleans clubs, and the Birmingham Athletic club has two men who could compete—Whittaker, in the . long distance events, and Sid .Jones, in the hurdling and pole vault. Atlanta has a couple of men who might be winners# and there are doubtless other southern men who might stand an excellent chance of 'making good’ on the team." Rooms Were Hard to Find. “Members of the ’Humpty Dumpty’ company fared badly when they reached Birmingham Sunday night,” said a man about town. “Just at present the hotels of Birmingham are badly over crowded and many of the chorus girls had a hard time finding a place to sleep. They could be seen scurrying up and down the streets or chatting in the all night cafes until the early hours of the morning. I am told that several spent the night that way. Rooms and beds could not be had for love or money. “By the way, the ‘Humpty Dumpty’ company Is the largest theatrical organ ization that has ever visited Birming ham. The company numbers over two hundred people and is quite expensive. When the show people arrived many went down to the Jefferson theatre, for lack of a better place to go, T presume, and stood about in groups w'hile stage hands unloaded the scenery. An immense amount of "drop” scenery Is used in the production. ”1 presume that nearly all the 'Hupipty Dumpty’ girls have found a place to stay by this time, but they beseiged the boarding houses last night and a sur prising number of young women wdth suit cases in their hands were to he seen about town.” Thinks Jordan Right. "Many people have seen fit to criticise President Harvle Jordan of the Southern Cotton association for his declaration re garding 15 cents cotton," said W. D. Nesbitt yesterday, "hut the facts and figures relating to demand and con sumption In the past bear him out in his prediction that cotton will sell for 15 cents before next September. "In previous years when cotton went above 15 cents the conditions of supply and demand were not as bullish as they are at present*. There Is less cotton to meet the demand than there was at the corresponding time of the year on either of the other occasions. "The manufacturers arc getting a better price for their cloth and finished goods than ever before, an# they can afford to purchase cotton al 15 cents and still make a good profit. They should treat, the fnriner right and allow him to make some thing off pf his cotton this year, which he can do with the staple selling at 16 rents." The Midshipman. Rome of the dispatches from Annapolis about eleven midshipmen being deficient In a few branches seem to have been mis understood by many persons. All the ca dets referred to will receive their diplomas In the spring. A recent dispatch says: "A peculiar feature In connection with the failure of these named in certain branches Is that some of them stand very high in their aggregates of studies. Coffin has a general standing of 22 In the whole class, and both Cabanlss and Cake arc decidedly above the average There are several midshipmen who passed In all subjects and who will receive their di plomas, but who are In the aggregate below any of those who will be held hack.” Canning Factory at Cullman. "Local business men and fruit growers are preparing for the building of a can ning factory at Cullman," said John All good of that city, who was In Birming ham yesterday. “Cullman with Its enormous and rapid ly increasing production of fruits of all kinds adapted to this climate, has long been In need of an enterprise of this kind but somehow the matter has been neglected until this season. "It Is understood that the factory will he put In operation In time for the hand ling of this seaman's crop which promises to be unusually large. "The soil and climate at Cullman are es pecially adapted to the raising of toma toes but for the want of a ready mar ket the production has been limited but the canning factory will create a de mand for this fruit and It is certain that the farmers and fruit growers will turn their attention more to their cultivation than ecer before. "This factory will be built and operated solely by local men and this welcome in dustry will be of great value to the peo ple of that section." About Persons. J. P. Lewis of Marshall, ^ex., Is at the Hillman. * • * John Moorman of Montgomery, is at the Hillman. • • • Henry Ottman of Mobile, is at the Birmingham. • • • Louis C Anderson of Anniston, is at the Birmingham. C. J. Closson of Montgomery, is at the Metropolitan. * • • M. P. Hildrant of Talladega, Is at the Metropolitan. • • • P. C. Fajrbhtld of Mobile, is at the St. Nicholas. • • • H. T. Harrison of Tuscumbia. is at the St. Nicholas. ... A. M. Hollister of Geneva, Is at the Morris. ♦ • • J. A. Burglster of Tuscaloosa, is at the Morris. • • • H. H. Harmon of Galveston, Tex., is at the Hillman. REVOLUTIONARY HEROINE. Georgia Amazon Who Single Handed Captured Ten Tories. From the Richmond News Reader. Nancy Hart, the famous Georgia char- | aeter of Revolutionary days. Is by no means mythical, but was a very real personage. Notwdthstanding her gigantic frame, red hair, freckles and crossed eyes, | her memory Is kept greener among the people of her native state than that of many a more prepossessing heroine. She was what is familiarly known as a Georgia "Cracker," a poor though Intelll gent w'hite. whet lived among the sand hills or In the isolated districts of the state. Ile-r capture of the ten lories while they were ‘ devouring the tempting viands she had been compelled to prepare for them la recognized as an historical fact, burins Andrew Jackson's Presidency representative from Georgia, desiring to bring that state to the notice of the Pres ident, decided to present a painting for one of the niches in the rotunda of the United Slates capitol building. At length It was completed—a portrait of Nancy Hnrt, bareheaded, barefooted, her skirts to her knees, crossing a shallow stream driving ten torles before her at point of one of their own guns. The President, who was redheaded and came of hardy pioneer stock himself, is said to have been very much pleased with the picture, and it Is to be hoped that Georgia profited by the diplomacy of her representatives. The idea that Nancy Hart followed (her husband to Florida and died there Is er roneous. After the fierce disturbances of the Revolution had gone down as history she buckled up her yoke of oxen and with her children and grandchildren emi grated to South Carolina. At one of the stops on the route her son-tn-law became engaged In a drunken brawl and was taken In custody by an officer. Ever quick to meet an emergen cy. Nancy went to the rescue. Bestow ing a few pugilistic bumps on the de tainer of her son-in-law, she seized the latter and lifted him bodily Into tha bed of the wagon and drove out of town. Nancy Hart located near Edgefield, a small town not far from the Georgia line. Her fame preceded her there, ary she was welcomed and respected by her neighbors. My grandfather's grandfather lived in Edgefield and was one of the early Baptist preachers. The Scotch Trish were almost universally Presbyte rian. but onqe agitated there was soon a large sprinkling of Baptists and Meth odists throughout the south. The minis ters were for the most' part Itinerant, and revivals that rivalled Moody's and Jones' In enthusiasm were held under huge open tabernacles, an dmen rode on horseback a. hundred miles to be in at tendance. Tradition says that Nancy Hart was converted at one of these meetings. It would be reasonable to suppose that time and hardships would hRVe touched the red hair with gray and curbed the old daunt less spirit, but she was as strenuous In religion as In politics. There see mysti cal stories in my mind of a gaunt old wo man embracing my dignified ancestor and disarranging his stock and dragging slug gard sinners by their queues and coat tails to the pennance seat, hot these are ■ traditions repeated from generation to generation, and I would not vouch for their authenticity. However. I have always understood that Nsncv Hart lived to a good old age. died and was burled 1n the old Edgefield dis trict. now Edgefield county. South Caro lina. PRACTICAL POLITICS. From Harper's Weekly. A practical politician of the first water came to light in a small Indiana town not long ago. Tn this town there Is an officer, designated as Inspector of streets and roadways, who receives the munifi cent salary of *250 per year. As the op posing political parties are very nearly balanced In this town, there is keen op position, so that when this office became vacant and the authorities ordered an election to fill It. there was a lively cam paign for this small plum, no other elec tions being near. The democratic candi date was a rather shrewd old fellow by the name of Ezekiel Hicks, and It looked as though he would be successful, as a neat little sum had been subscribed and turned over to him as a campaign fund. To the astonishment of everybody, he was defeated. ‘‘I can't account for It,” one of the democratic leaders said, gloomily. “With that money we should have won. How did you lay It out. Ezekiel?” "Hum," Ezekiel said, slowly, pulling his whiskers. "Yer see, that office only pays *250 a year salary, an' I didn't see no sense In payin’ *9C0 out to get the office, so I Jest bought me a little truck farm instead.” THE ROOSEVELT OF GERMANY. From Leslie s Weekly. William II. is to celebrate his silver wedding on February 27. and it is on the I programme that he is to make a speech , which will be read throughout the world, I in favor of international peace. The | Kaiser is decidedly the most picturesque and dashing of the old world's rulers, i He h-.s been called the Theodore Roose 1 velt of Germany. Our President has no warmer admirer than is the German Em * peror. 1 Germany, with Its 58,000.000 Inhabitants, | is the most populous country In Europe, ■ except Russia, and Its people are far i more intelligent and fur more effective as i producers than are those of Russia. It | ranks next to England among the Euro 1 pean powers in the extent 6t its indus tries, and in some lines of activity it sur passes England. It is one of the most pro gressive of the world's nations, and has sent to the United States as ambassa dors some of Its foremost statesmen. It has never had a more faithful representa tive thun the present ambassador, Huron ' von Sternburg. William II. has surprised friends and i enemies alike. When he went on the throne in 18SS most persons believed him to be a marplot, who would precipitate between his country and some of her neighbors before he was long In power. Eighteen years of rule have shown that these forebodings were erroneous. SELF-BOOSTING EDITORS. From the Kansas City Star. A court judge removed John Temple Graves from the editorship of the At lanta News because Graves persisted In writing editorials laudatory of himself. A general court decision of this kind in Oklahoma would knock a lot of strong lunged roosters off the banyard fence. COMMENTS ON MEN AND MATTERS OF THE TIMES /TT AiEODORE KREMER, a play- | yVSli wright who builds melodramas as ; some people do flats, says that the great melodrama of the future will depict the inevitable conflict between capi tal and labor. lie says: “I have already conceived a melodrama In which a great Eastside mob marches to the Metropoli-' tan opera house during a performance^ of grand opera, sqts up an electric chair In the center cf tli^ ground floor and be gins the grim business of electrocuting multi-millionaires.” Think of how a hard working press agent could exploit a play like that! Think of the mad enthusiasm with which the gallery would applaud the passing of each plutocrat, and the acclaim with which their downfail would be heralded! Just as soon as the multi millionaires get thick enough and the populace geta sore enough Mr. Kremer promises us the play. It is hard to wait. Cedar Rapids, la., rejoices in a female | hugger w**o pounces upon men, embraces them, kisses them and then disappears. Come on down, whoever you are! Thomas Dixon has applied for permis sion to carry a revolver. If he will prom ise to shoot himself, wo move that the request be granted. COURT HER. Don’t do the trick this morning— Tomorrow is the day. Just send your cook a valentine And maybe she will stay. Santos Dumont feels sure that he will fly, says a newspaper headline, but he doesn’t feel any surer than 10,000 other airship men who think they have solved the problem. Gadsden’s lone policeman cut a sorry figure trailing along after thtrif mob. He was advised to go back, and he did! AS USUAL. The building burned up, From cellar to roof. And yet they all say That it was fireproof. Ian MacLaren says a sense of humor i in youths is a hindrance to practical sue- I cess. That all depends on how the gift is used. The clerk who laughs with his boss rises rapidly, but the clerk who j laughs at his boss soon gets "fired.” The proper thing to do is to wear Alice | blue. THE FIRST ONE. From far and near, From high and low, O’er land and sea The w'lnd doth blow And sings a song The flowers hear— A message that The spring is near Ann Arbor, Mich., has 3185 “college widows.” There are always more girls in a college town than anywhere else. We may die of thirst some day, pre dicts science. Milwaukee will be a mem ory then. “Never let the sun rise on a dress suit.” —Col. Biff. IN SALT LAKE CITY. A Mormon elder died one day. There were a lot of carriages. And when his w'Idowrs ceased to mourn. Likewise a lot of marriages. Carrie Nation is suing a newspaper in Oklahoma because it said that ihe had sold a building to a liquor firm. If the paper had said anything else it would not have been sued. An hour In the sunshine yesterday beat all the tonics ever compounded. Nature Is the nurse that humanity should learn to love. A New Jersey bride leaped from her bed without waking her husband and chased a burglar in her night clothes. Betcher that is one woman who doesn’t look under the bed and scream at sight of a mouse. SQUELCHED. His poetry was bad. The editor mad. A most unpleasant Time was had. The Princess Ena writes to her dear Alfonso every day, using for the pur pose a souvenir postal card, but the most up-to-date feature of the royal courtship is that the two young people are really in love. THE BRIDE. She shrinks from the rain And wilts in a trice, But seems quite happy In a shower of rice. Mr. Addicks says that he made Mr. Lawson, but why confess? An old-fashioned wagon circus is travel ing through Alabama, delighting the resi dents of small towns. The wagon circus, wending its way along country roads, was the grandparent of the great tented enterprises of today. A few still sur vive and they are picturesque affairs— out of date but still interesting. As a sort of preliminary to February 22, an Iconoclast again asserts that there is no truth in the cherry tree story. There are some people skeptical enough to deny that the whale swallowed Johah. In St. Louis i. man was adjudged insane because he wrote bad poetry. What ho! We’re being watched! ^ It was a girl. Jan Kubelik has thre« now. TICKLISH TASK. In saving up money This fact you’ll find true: There’s nothing that’s harder For a chap to do, Unless It perchance is To say something wise When called on to look at The new baby’s eyes. The arrival of the Marconi baby raises the supposition that the signor has not invented a way to make it stop crying. WHEN THEY DECEIVE. "Figures do not lie." And yet they often flatter When they belong to women. Which Is a different matter. Ellen Peach Yaw has returned the high sea. Her high "C" Is In e* lent condition. BE AN OPTIMIST. Try to leave the old world better, Try to do a little good; Try to shed a ray of brightness. Tho you be misunderstood. Try to All your heart with kindness, Take of life a cheerful view. Try to leave the old world better, It’s an easy thing to do. PAUL COOK. ANTI-RACE SUICIDE PARTY IS ORGANIZING From the New York Mail. IT HAS come. The issue will soon be joined. The stork Is to be made a po litical emblem. The anti-race suicide party is organizing. It begins on the spot where Elijah Bovejoy, fighting the battle of liberty with his press and types, gave up his life to a pro-slavery mob in the year 1837. Mayor Edmund Beall of Alton. HI., has announced his candidacy for Con gress on the issue raised by President Roosevelt in his utterances directed against race suicide. Mr. Beall Is going to run at the next election, and as he is a very popular man in Alton, he may be elected. This is his platform: I have decided to introduce a bill to make men who refuse to accept the re sponsibilities of parentage leave the coun try *ri‘*ey have no place here, and they | ougl.l So know It. The race suicide Idea is a good subject for jest, but It is aJso serious. We want more babies of good American stock. The only way we can have Americans is to grow them—we can’t Import them. • This is a spirited platform, well put as to Its language. Mr. Beall proposes to ac cept the responsibilities of parenthood. This, presumably-, includes childless hus bands as well as bachelors. It throws them all out of the country. It does not con aider at all whether they might not be put to some use—whether they would not make good soldiers, for instance, Or road builders, or laborers on subways. In great chain gangs they might pick the cotton on southern fields, or reap the golden grain in Kansas. There is always a chance for these rep- I rebates while they are in the country. From sheer resentment most bachelors wouW probably emigrate rather than marry under such duress. But left behind and made to toil for the community, tho majority of them would probably change their minds. Besides, if all the bachelors and child less husbands were banished, would not that leave Just so many women unmated forever? Are we to suppose that Mayor Beall's programme includes polygamous marriage for the surplus female popula tion tinder such an arrangement? In 1900 there were in the country 2,228,209 bache lors above the age of 30. To banish these, to say nothing of all the other men who are not fathers, would leave a great num ber of women with no chance of marriage, except on the Mormon basis. If the vote of the women of the coun try is taken on this exiling proposition. It is a fair guess that it will not be car ried. USE OF SLATE BY ANCIENTS. Introduced Into Schools as Writing Table at Very Early Period. From the London Daily Globe. It Is not easy to tell exactly for how long a period slates have been used by school boys; but they were used as writ ing tablets as far back as the middle ages, and probably, therefore, they were intro duced into the school of Europe at a very parly period In the history of education in this part of the world. And, Indeed, it would be hard to find a more suitable substance for the purpose than the easily flaked stone which yields a smooth surface with a minimum of trouble on the part of the workman. T?he ancients, as we know, frequently em ployed waxen tablets for the purpose of writing letters or making calculations which were not intended to be permanent, and could easily be erased or smeared out of all recognition with the Anger. Diligent housekeepers and clandestine levers found these means of reckoning or communication equally indispensable; while, for the man of letters, whether orator or lyric poet, the tablets on which j were Jotted down the heads of a great ! speech or passionate stanza to some fair lady were almost as necessary as pockets j (of which the ancient world knew noth ■ iug) to the modern man or boy. i Compared with these perishable aids to memory, the slate was very long lived. , For though the name implies a brittle 1 substance easily broken off when the line ; of cleavage is discovered—being equiva lent to the French “eclat"—yet slate does not collapse like wax with the application of moderate heat; and even if cracked by a fall, might still be used if Its frame was stout enough to stand the shock. It Is not surprising, therefore, that the slate, when once introduced into school and do mestic life, soon became popular. But slate is also a good roof covering, and has been used for #thls purpose for eight centuries at least. Tiling, which still holds its own to a large extent, partly on aceount of the inartistic appearance of the modern slated roof, was practically universal In the towns of the ancient world which came under the Influence of Greece and Rome. It is interesting to note in this connection that as time went on builders reduced the thickness of their slates. Whether this was due to reasons oC economy—for heavy slates need to have solid timbers beneath them—or to other considerations, the fact remains that the slates used In the cheap house of the pres ent day have a very cheap appearance. The difference is clearly seen by con trasting the flimsy look of a Jerry-built suburban villa with the massive solidity of an old slate roofed farm house which has weathered the storms of centuries. White Squirrel Caught. From the Kansas City Journal. A freak of nature, in the shape of a white squirrel with pink eyes, has been captured alive by farmer boys near Mc Comb, In Pottawatomie county. Two years ago Peter Gideon, living near Choctaw City, captured a white squirrel which had one brown and one pink eye. MY WIFE. By Robert Louis Stevenson. Trusty, dusky, vivid, true, With eyes of gold and bramble dew, Steel true and blue straight, The great Artificer Made my mate. Honor, anger, valor. Are; A love that life could never tire, Death quench, or evil stir, The mighty Master Gave to her. Teacher, tender, comrade, wife, A fellow-farer true through life. Hear-whole and soul-free, The august Father Gave to me.