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The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, February 28, 1906, Image 4

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THE AGE-HERALD
». W. HAHRBTr. Editor
Entered at the Birmingham, Ala., post
office a8 second-class matter under act
of Congress March S, 1S79.
Dally and Sunday Age-Herald..$8.00
Dally and Sunday, per month.7D
Sunday Age-Herald, per annum.2.00
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum.100
Subscription payable in advance.
B. H. Russ, C. G. Witt and J F. Keeley
•re the only authorized traveling repre
sentatives of The Age-Herald in its cir
culation department.
No communication will he published
without its author’s name. Rejected man
uscripts will not he returned unless
•tamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Remittances can he made at current
fate of exchange. The Age-Herald will
hot L * responsible for money sent through
the mails. Address
THE AOE-TTERALD.
Birmingham, Ala.
Eastern business office, rooms 48 to 50,
Inclusive, Tribune building, New York
City; western business office. Tribune
building. Chicago. The S. C. Beckwith
Bpecial Agency, agents foreign advertis
ing
Washington Bureau Age-Herald 1421 G
• treat. N. W.
But we worldly men
Have miserable, mad, mistaking eyes.
—Titus Andronicus.
Colenel Quarles’ Complaint.
Like a bolt out of the blue comes a
protest against, the action of the state
executive committee’s plan from the
pen of Colonel Quarles of Selma. It is
the right of every member of the dem
ocratic party to express his views. But
why did Colonel Quarles wait two
months before he presented his views?
He waited so long that the plan he
dislikes had been accepted from one
end of the state to the other, and In no
quarter had dissatisfaction on account
ot It been telt or expressed. The party
throughout the state had quietly as
similated the plan and were content
to act under It. No discontent, no fric
tion, appeared at any point.
Yet, just when the party was lapsing
Into an easy and comfortable frame of
mind, Colonel Quarles fires off a shell
loaded with strong words and stronger
suggestions. Keen as his pen is, he
will find that the party cannot be rip
ped open and quarrels started In It at
tills late hour. Colonel Quarles has
spoken too late. The party is sound
and satisfied, and it will remain In that
excellent condition. The Quarles bomb
will prove a boomerang.
Mr. Rogers Must Answer.
When John Smith is haled to court
as a witness he does not say, "I do
not remember,” or ‘‘I decline to an
ewer,” particular!/ the latter. As a
plain, every-day American citizen he
does not consider himself above the
law, and he knows he is engaged in
nothing unlawful. Not so when Henry
H. Rogers is called before a court. He
considers himself above the law and
its courts and its methods, and he pro
ceeds to turn down in a flippant, and
offensive manner all questions that do
not suit him.
This has been the situation because
a New York judge decided that he
would not act in the Rogers case uni 11
the supreme court of Missouri had first
decided that similar questions put to
r Missouri witness must be answered.
The court in Missouri has decided In
the affirmative, and the New York
judge will be compelled to bring Rog
ers up to the general American footing
of witnesses, or else he will have to
invent another subterfuge.
The matter will soon be tested, for
the New' York Judge will be asked
without delay to sign an order requir
ing Rogers to tell what interest the
Standard Oil has in Its subsidiary com
panies in Missouri. The real Issue be
fore the New York judge relates to
privilege. In other words, the judge
in that state will have to decide
whether Rogers is a plain American
citizen, or whother as a Standard Oil
magnate he la above and beyond the
law.
Facts About Panama.
The people of Alabama to say the
least will enjoy the spectacle of
Kitchen Cabinet Cromwell on the grid
iron, with Senator Morgan at the
handle end. Unless the Aldriches of
the Senate Intervene to save the grld
Ironee he will be roasted by Senator
Morgan to a turn. When the inter
oceanic canals committee adjourned
on Monday Chairman Millard of Ne
braska, who belongs to the machine,
showed an Inclination lo shield Wil
liam Nelson Cromwell from his pitiless
Inquisitor. It should be remembered
that. Cromwell Is a successful Wall
street lawyer, as well as a promoter
of various schemes, but In the bands
of the senior Alabama Senator he
stood defenseless, and his retreat was
on the lines of Henry H. Rogers—he
refused to answer questions. The Wall
street Senators may come to his res
cue, but If they do not Senator Mor
gan will majee him tell the suppressed
facts connected with the resignation
of Engineer Wallace.
The Senate committee on inter
pceanic canals endeavored on Monday
bfter the testimony for the day had
been closed “to limit the range of Sen
ator Morgan’s inquiries." Our senior
^•nator properly objected to the sup
presslon of facts In this great enter
prise, involving an expenditure of un
told millions of the people’s money,
and he did not consent to have the in
quiry narrowed.
This Is a subject that concerns the
pAple. Money has been shoveled out
at the isthmus, and every dollar of it
was taken from the pockets of the peo
ple. The manner in which it has been
spent should therefore be made known,
and It will be made known if the peo
ple will see that the Wall-street Sen
ator^ are not permitted to limit the
pending inquiry—in other words, to
keep from the people the facts, Crom
wellian and otherwise, tnat the insid
ers do not want the people to know.
It is strictly a contest between inside
interests and the people, and Senator
Morgan, keen and alert, stands for the
people.
New Fire Basis.
The Are insurance companies have
agreed to put this.city on the first-class
basis, all conditions of fire protection
in the business district having been
declared acceptable. The underwriters
will put the business district on that
basis even before it can be rerated, by
granting rebates from the time of the
appointment of Captain Bennett as
chief of the fire department.
This substantial reduction in insur
ance rates applies to the entire busi
ness district, hounded by Ninth avenue
on the north, Twenty-sixth street on
the east, Avenue G on the south, and
Fourteenth street on the west—a dis
trict nearly a mile and a half square.
The Age-Herald is proud of the fact
that it had a part in leading up to this
reduction in insurance rates in Bir
mingham by inducing the city authori
n' i to take steps to put the fire depart
ment on a proper footing. When Cap
tain Bennett has reorganized the fire
department, and fire stations are estab
lished in Norwood and on Fountain
Heights, there will not be much room
for complaint on the part of the insur
ance companies. The maintenance of
the fire department will hereafter cost
the city $130,000 a year, and that is of
itself a considerable tax, but it is a
needful and economic tax.
Russia’s First ParHament.
An Imperial ukase—to use a mouth
filling phrase—has been issued order
ing the douma or first Russian parlia
ment to meet in St. Petersburg on
May 10. It will be an historic event,
even if some of the cities and districts
in that country are, on account of dis
turbance, without representation in it.
i ue more revolutionary districts will
not elect delegates before May 10, nota
ry the Baltic provinces, the Caucasus,
and sections of Siberia and Poland.
The Witte government is certainly
keeping its promise to convene a na
tional assembly, for it has not only
named the day when it shall meet, but
it has prepared a place in a historic
palace for it to meet in, and has even
fitted up a press gallery as an adjunct
of it. The leading Russian papers and
the foreign news agencies will be given
seats in that gallery. Russia is cer
tainly marching on.
The elections for members of the
douma are now progressing. They are
of an Indirect nature, and the fear is
that the delegates will not be repre
sentative. Rut any douma is in Russia
better than no douma at all.
An Iowa youth who was so severely
hayed by the students of an Omaha
college that he will he a cripple for
life is suing the trustees for $50,000,
and he ought to have it, if it wipes
out the college.
Dr. Abbott says that business spec
ulators are the greatest pickpockets.
The word “pickpocket" does not apply
to the operations of men who rob on a
colossal scale.
Surgeon-General Takaki of Japan
proposes to make the Japanese tall by
giving them better food and prohibit
ing them from sitting cross-legged.
It Is now proposed to corner all the
beer in Mexico. That which made
Milwaukee famous is running pulque
a close race in Mexico.
Congressman Prince says army offi
cers keep one hand on the flag and the
other in the treasury getting money
they have not earned.
If the forty-story building in New
York should blow over, the YVrall street
section of that city would be cut off
from home nase.
The Big Three in New York say
they will not sond an underground
lobby to Albany to worjt against the
Armstrong bills.
It is a great pity that Andy Hamil
ton's touring car doesn’t bump him
against a tree by way of punishment.
\Villlam Nelson Cromwell and Henry
H. Rogers are our two Dromios who
have short and convenient memories.
Statesmen out of power are soon
forgotten. Fewr stop to cast a flower
on ex-Speaker Henderson’s grave.
Tlie Coreans are the biggest liars in
tile world, and no one will believe
tnelr stories about the Japanese.
Our Minister White at Algeciras has
not as yet hypnotized anybody, and the
chances are t-nit he will not.
Congress is chiefly interested in as
certaining whom tile next Congress—
No. 60—is to be made up of.
The Moroccan question is a common
one—just the control of a police force.
Congressman GroBvenor says he was
weeded out by a boss, but he waB once
a boss himself. One boss should not
decry another.
Richard Mansfield may retire from
the stage in 1909, but that will not pre
vent him from making some farewell
tours later on.
Senator Morgan, facing William Nel
son Cromwell, did not present the ap
pearance of a man whose usefulness
Is ended.
Our sins harass us like devils, says
young Rockefeller, but If the trusts
would let up we could manage to worry
along.
Automobile smashups are now being
utilized In thrilling melodramas that
depict the carnage following such acci
dents.
Peabody of the Mutual Life seems to
be almost, as objectionable as a mem
ber of the McCurdy family.
There are 26,Oo* John Smiths in Chi
cago. The Joneses and Browns are
probably just as numerous.
A career on the platform is now open
to Nicholas Longworth, but he will not
seize the opportunity.
One can’t but admire Engineer Wal
lace for the way in which he stays out
of the newspapers.
The Birmingham postofflce ignored
Mardi Gras altogether, and this, too, in
Vulcan's home city.
The law could hang Mr. Hoch but
once, although he married twenty
seven times.
Some good Americans go to Paris
before they die—the McCurdys, for
example.
Morocco is willing to let the dead
lock at Algeciras go on indefinitely.
The prairie-schooner Congressmen
are demanding bigger battleships.
Homicidal automobile stunts can be
executed safely in America only.
The shad are swimming into the nets
as far north as Delaware.
There are insurgents In Arabia, also.
Today is Ash Wednesday.
THE SITUATION.
From the Montgomery Advertiser.
The President Informs Congress that he
will veto any unsatisfactory canal bill.
"Fiusatlsfactory" to whom? Himself, of
course,
*23” FOR THEM.
From the Knoxville Journal and Tribune,
The result of the recent municipal elec
tion in Pittsburg is further evidence that
political machines and municipal rings
are not In favor In thlB day and time.
BEASTLY SHAME!
From the Columbia State.
It Is a shame that our millionaire auto
mobllists who have acquired the habit of
running over pedestrians on our high
ways should be mobbed by a vulgar
Italian crowd when an Italian boy gets
under the wheels.
COMING OUR WAY.
From the Charleston News and Courier.
Who says the "common people” have
no show? Some bloated bondholder Is al
leged to have paid $400 for a ticket to a
recent performance, and now—according
to The Sports of the Times—for 60 cents
•‘the Alice Roosevelt wedding can be seen
at the Eden Musee."
MRS. LONGWORTH’S AUTOGRAPH.
From the New York World.
When Mrs. Nicholas Longworth was
starting from AlexandrTk for Florida on
her honeymoon trip a little girl asked her
for her autograph. She smilingly obliged
the child by writing “Alice Lee Long
worth.”
As a rule a married woman uses her
father’s surname as her middle name,
though there have been many, like the
White House bride, who have nol. Alice
Lee Longworth is more easily spoken
and written than Alice Roosevelt Long
worth, and it may be that the Roosevelt
was dropped instead of the Lee merely
as a matter of convenience.
Women, like college students, are much
given to writing out their names In full.
Elihu Root when he became Secretary
of War, struggled bravely to sign his
name in full to government documents,
but even with only nine letters he found
It necessary to save time by contracting
•his signature to “E. Root.” By writing
“Alice Lee Longworth.” the President’s
daughter, who will have to sign Innumer
able letters, has a signature of seventeen
letters, whereas "Alice Roosevelt Long
v/orth” would contain twenty-three.
HE SURPRISED ELIZA.
From the Kansas City Journal.
A story Is going the rounds of the terri
tory press of a farmer, living a few miles
from Henrietta, who wore his old suit
until everybody Is tired of It. and his esti
mable wife was almost ashamed of him.
But one day, when selling produce In
town, he determined to buy a new suit,
and a happy thought struck him. He
would surprise Eliza. So he bundled a
new suit into the wagon, hurried toward
home, and at the bridge two miles from
town, he stood up in the wagon and
“peeled” and threw the despised old suit
into the creek. Then he reached for his
new clothes. They were gone—had Jolted
out of the wagon! The night was cold
and his teeth chattered as he skurrled
for home. He surprised Eliza even more
than he anticipated.
Misnamed.
From the Pittsburg Post.
“I haven't had a promotion in twenty
years, and it's particularly odd, too.”
‘‘Why so?”
“Because I work for a promoter.”
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
From the New York Press.
When a girl is happy it is a sign It
has got something to do with clothes.
If a man has too much courage to
commit suicide when he Is In trouble, he
can go to law.
The nice thing about fishing is the way
the bait and the fish do all the work for
you till the fun begins.
It's more useful not to know things and
make people think you do than to know
them and not have anybody believe it.
It takes a woman to figure out that it
is a good deed, which the recording angel
will remember, to forget to pay her fare
in a crowded Btreet car and put it in
the collection plate nest Sunday.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Joseph Devlin.
“One of the most exciting contests dur
ing the recent parliamentary elections in
Great Brit&in was the election of Joseph
Devlin for West Belfast,” said a man who
has watched affairs over there.
“Joseph Devlin visited Birmingham
about three years ago and addressed a
meeting of the citizens on the subject
of Irish Home Buie. At that time he was
member for Kilkenny, but was making
a tour of the United States to raise funds
to carry on the campaign in Ireland.
“When the question of putting forward
a candidate to contest the vacancy in
'Vest Belfast arose the nationalists de
cided upon Joseph Devlin and they made
j no mistake in their man. It should be
I known that Belfast returns four members
| to parliament and the very word Belfast
I is supposed to stand for everything that
is anti-nationalist.
“Belfast has been the scene of many
and violent riots between the unionists
and nationalists and it was feared that
the recent election would be attended
with bloodshed, but nothing of any seri
ous consequenced happened. When the
result was declared there was a scene
of the wildest excitement; the whole city
congregated to hear the addresses of
j the successful and defeated candidates
! and in ringing words Devlin annonuced
j bis victory.
“Thomas Sexton was the first national
ist who represented West Belfast, but
ever since his defeat, about fifteen years
ago, It has been in the hands of the union
' ists. It is only a person who fully un
derstands the situation who can realize
what a grea.t victory Devlin won. His
many friends In Birmingham will be glad
to hear of his success and wish him many
years of health and strength to labor in
the cause he so nobly champions.
The Fire Department.
“Birmingham has a fire department now
of which every citizen should feel proud, ’
said a visitor yesterday. “For several
i years past I have made a study of the
workings of fire departments in many of
the large cities in the south, and I am
quite sure that Birmingham has the
largest department now of any city of its
size.
“While in Chattanooga recently the rep
resentative of the fire engine company
from whom the city of Birmingham pur
chased its new fire engine told me that
it was the largest piece of fire fighting
machinery south of the Ohio river. Very
few people of this city perhaps are in
formed of that fact."
Third Regiment Band.
j "The fact that the Boys’ Industrial
school band is to be attached to the
Third regiment of infantry. Alabama Na
tional Guard, will be received as good
news to the members of that command, '
said an officer last night.
! "For several years past the Third regi
| ment has not had a band of its own. The
state will probably equip the boys’ band
with the regulation uniforms and new in
struments can be secured from the war
department at Washington if needed.
Every year the band will go into camps
with the troops and that will prove to be
a fine outing for the boys. Under tho
national military laws the boys will be
paid for their services too, by the gov
ernment.
"The First regiment of infantry with
headquarters in Mobile has a splendid
band, and it was recently highly com
mended by the United States army of
ficers who inspected the National Guard
of this state."
Street Railway.
"Birmingham has what I consider the
best street railway service -of any city
of its size In the United States,” said G.
B. McCormack, chairman of the board of
the American Trust Company and Savings
bank yesterday. "I think the city is for- ,
tunate In having a street car company
that not only keep3 abreast of the times,
but often takes the initiative. In a num
ber of instances the company has even
taken the lead by building lines Into un
developed territory.
“The company spends at least $1,000,000
annually in Birmingham in improvements,
which in itself is no small Item. This is
in addition to the running expenses of the j
company. The plans of the company call
for over $1,000,000 in improvements this j
year and I understand that it will con
tinue to spend large amounts annually In
order to keep track with the growth of
the city."
The Iron Market.
“While apparently there Is a slackening
In the east and south in some grades
of iron,” said a Pittsburg man, “and or
ders in the Pittsburg district are not num
erous, yet manufacturers In that section
are satisfied with conditions. Those who
are In position to properly guage con
ditions say that It Is only a lull, and
soon the demand will break out anew.
“The slackening in the price of southern
foundry iron a few weeks ago caused
many manufacturing concerns {o hold off
placing orders. This is especially true of j
some of the big engineering concerns of
the west. They are merely buying for
immediate requirements, believing that It
will only be a short time until they can (
buy pig iron cheaper than they can now.
The same holds true of buyers in the
east, who patronize the eastern Pennsyl
vania and the Virginia furnaces. But this
Is not the belief in the Pittsburg district.
“The furnace production for February
and March will show a fallnlg off, owing
to the closing down of several stacks.
One of these is the McKinley furnace at
Youngstown, O., which has a capacity
of 600 tons a day. Several other small
stacks in Ohio have been closed down for
I repairs.”
About Persons.
J. M. Agnew of Montgomery is at the
Iliilman.
• • •
L. C. Strauss of Mobile is at the Hill
man.
• a •
C. C. Carter of Anniston is at the Bir
mingham.
• * •
Paul Cartwright of Andalusia is at the
Metropolitan.
• * *
Charles Margrave of Opelika is register
ed at tlie Morris.
• * •
Thomas H. Walker of Bay Minette is
at the Morris.
• * *
W. A. Anderson of Montgomery is at
the Metropolitan.
• • •
J. A. Foulkes of Nashville is at the
Birmingham.
• • •
Louis Truesdale of Decatur Is at the'
Morris.
• * *
J. A. Langsford of Talladega is at the
St. Nicholas.
PRAYER OF A “HEATHEN."
Incident of the Chicago Parliament of
Religion.
John C. Kimball In Christian Register.
The recent death of Protap Chunder
Mozoomdar brings to mind an Incident oc
curring at the parliament of religions in
Chicago twelve years ago, which more
than anything else I have seen or heard
of him manifested his wonderful spiritual
pow’er. In the formal exercises of the
parliament care was taken to exclude all
criticism of the so-called heathen religions
and all efforts to proselyte their adher
ents, though now and then such speakers
ar, Joseph Cook and George Pentecost
could not resist the temptation to violate
oil courtesies and “go for them” face to
face on the common platform.
But besides the formal meetings of the
parliament, presided over by its officers,
a multitude of subsidiary gatherings were
held by the different Christian denomina
tions, among them morning prayer meet
ings. over which the general officers had
no control. At one of these prayer meet
ings, quite numerously attended by repre
sentatives of the non-Christian faiths, the
spirit of proselytism was let loose. The
newcomers were prayed for os souls lost
In pagan darkness and exhorted by speak
er after speaker to forsake their heathen
superstitions, come to Jesus and be saved
from eternal death by being washed in
the blood of a crucified Redeemer. It was
al! doubtless well Intended# but an exhibi
tion of the missionary zeal of Christianity
In its worst form, and some of us wear
ing the Christian name could not but be
pained and alarmed at its occurrence.
Near the close of the meeting, after a
specially denunciatory harangue, Mo
zoomdar arose simply to offer prayer, and
with the first half dozen words iho entire
atmosphere was changed. Titer was no
allusion to anything which had been said,
no petition in behalf of narrow-minded
Christian brethren—and some of us have
had experience of the wounds that can he
inflicted by prayers In our behalf—no use
of Jesus’ words on his cross, “Father,
forgive them, for they know not what
they do,” but simply a great spiritual na
ture lifting the whole assembly above all
narrow, dividing, controversial differences
into the very presence of the Eternal One
himself. No art could have devised a
more effectual answer to what had been
said against heathen religion, no wit or
logic has put its defenders more to shame
or more palpably in the wrong, but the
best of it was the feeling it produced that
there was no art about it. nothing but the
natural outpouring of the man, and that
its hearers were made to forget to he
ashamed, and we. sympathizers with him.
made to forget any exultation over them
—forget everything but that we were be
ing lifted Into the Joy of a worship and
Into the beauty of a world such as the
most Christian of us had never experi
enced before and never till then known
to exist.
The prayer was very short, and when
it was ended there was no hymn sung,
nc benediction pronounced, no other voice
that could break Into the unutterable
peace It left on/all souls, and without
even the usual buzz of conversation, hut
with shining eyes, the meeting dissolved
into the outside world. An orthdox lady
who was present said that hitherto she
had always attended monthly missionary
meetings and put her quarter of a dollar
Into the contribution box, but hereafter
she should devote her money to getting
some heathen to come here and show us
Christians what religion really Is.
FEW AUSTRALIANS HERE.
One Part of World Which Doesn’t Send
Its Sons to America.
From the New York Sun.
There are only a few Australians dis
tributed throughout the United States,
and their number is so small that in
most of the official bulletins they come
under the head of “unclassified.”
There are in New York city less than
600 Australians and the majority of these
are such "In name only,” having been
born In Australia during the temporary
residence of their parents. One such
case is that of Mme. Melba, the prlma
donna, who was born in Melbourne, Aus
tralia, in 1886, though her home is in
England.
The only city in the country in which
there is any considerable number of Aus
tralians is San Francisco, In which there
are about a thousand. Chicago has some
300, and Oakland, a suburb of San Fran
cisco, 260. Once every year the Austra
lians in New York city assemble for fra
ternal meeting, and It is found usually
that the larger number of those present
are traveling Australians.
THE USUAL DIVISION.
From Success Magazine.
A day or two before the recent guberna
torial election in Ohio, a number of poli
ticians in Washington were discussing the
probable results, when some one asked
Representative John Williams, leader of
the minority In the house, how the situ
ation appeared to him.
“Well," said Williams with a smile, “ft
seems to me that there is the usual di
vision—those pledged to the Herrick fac
tion, those pledged to the administration's
choice, those pledged to the Democracy
and those pledged to all three.”
TO MARY UNWIN.
By William Cow per.
The twentieth year la well-nigh past
Since first our sky was overcast;
Ah! would that this might be the last!
My Mary!
Thy spirits have a fainter flow,
I see thee dally weaker grow—
'Twas my distress that brought thee low.
My Mary!
Thy needles, once a shining store,
For my sake restless heretofore,
Now rust disused, and shine no more;
My Mary!
For though thou gladly wouldst fulfil
The same kind office for me still,
Thy sight now seconds not thy will,
My Mary!
But well thou play'dst the housewife's
part,
And all my threads with magic art
Have wound themselves about this heart,
My Mary!
Thy Indistinct expressions seem
I.ike language utter'd In a dream;
Yet me they charm, whate’er the theme.
My Mary!
Thy silver locks, once auburn bright
Ate still more lovely in my sight
Than golden beams of orient light.
My Mary!
For could I view nor them nor thee,
What sight worth seeing could I see?
The sun would rise Ingrain for me,
My Mary!
Partakers of thy sad decline
Thy hands their little force resign;
Yet, gently prest. press gently mine,
My Mary!
Snell feebleness of limbs thou prov'st
That now at every step thou mov'st
Upheld by two; yet still thou lov'st%
My Mnry!
And still to love, though prest with 111,
111 wintry age to feel no chill.
With me is to lie lovely still.
My Mary!
But. ah! by constant heed 1 know
How eft the sadness that I show
Transforms thy smiles to looks of woe,
My Mary!
And shouid my future lot be cast
With much resemblance of the past.
Thy worn-out heart will break at last—
My Mary!
COMMENTS ON MEN AND
MATTERS OF THE TIMES

r>4 HE writer was permitted to ex
amine one of the new twenty
■ dollar gold certificates yester
j day. The note is designed in a most at
j tractive manner and the government en
I gravers are to be congratulated upon
having accomplished, as we might proper,
ly say, a chef-d’oeuvre of paper money.
The subject of this sketch has yellow
sis it predominant color scheme and on
one side of the note is a striking like
ness of Q. Washington, late father of
his country. Needless to say, the tout
ensemble is one to delight all eyes, espec
ially those eyes which look rather with
the satisfied gleam of possession than
the burning glance of covetousness. Sev
eral copies of the new edition are said
to be in Birmingham, but they are not
in our vicinity. Alack!
THE D. A. R.
A D. A. R. she calls herself
And goes to the conventions
Where other dames with words to speak
Engage in fierce contentions.
She eulogizes dead heroes'
And fields of glory full
But dpes not overlook the fact
That she has wires to pull.
She has her pictures printed large,
Where all the world can see;
She puts up at the best hotels
And does the hot "pink tea.”
She always has a rousing time
While in attendance there,
And hubby meekly toils at home
So he can pay her fare.
“The microbe of success is personal
magnetism,” says Sarah Bernhardt, total
ly overlooking the fact that it pays to
advertise.
THE PERT PARAGRAPHER.
He pokes fun at the congressmen
And everything they do;
He oft assails the Senate and
The House in session, too.
His views of graft are endless, while
He’s never at a loss
For quips, both keen and cutting, to
Upset the party boss.
He shoots at all the magnates and
Just riddles every trust
He boorps the politicians or
Boon floors them with a thrust.
He uses puns atrociously
In bringing out a point,
He’s ever ready with a fling
At those the gods annolnt.
He’s very seldom satisfied
With things just as they are,
But always preaches for reform
That’s spelled with a big "R.”
He seldom takes the time to think
Of what he wants to say
| But grabs his pencil in a rush
And says it any way.
Yet he doth bring about some good,
E’en tho he’s rather pert.
And profits reaped from his hard toil
To him do not revert.
He pushes public works along
With breezy paragraph,
And, dying, he should sleep beneath
pleasing epitaph.
The pathos of a globe trotter's career
is brought painfully home when one dies
far away from native land and friends,
. a victim of consumption, complaint that
takes many to their graves, Men become
globe-trotters for various reasons—some
of them tragic, others romantic and few
common-place, but It Is not the life to
awaken envy. A rolling stone gathers no
moss, they say. The globe trotter usually
dies unmourned and Is soon forgotten.
Some people like to work so much that
they say "expectorate" when they mean
"spit."
Since Vienna doctors have found a
method of looking into one's stomach
It Is now possible for science to see a
stomach ^iche,
A preacher says that a calamity would
result If men should try to copjf the life
of Christ exactly. That Is a contingency
which Is, to say the least, extremely re
mote. Most people these days are try
ing to copy the lives of John D. Rocke
feller, J. Plerpont Morgan and H. H.
Rogers.
A MARRIED MAN.
Abroad he's very proud and stands
Up where the folks can see.
At home he merely stands around,
And that’s, the truth, b'gee.
Across the water royal couples woo and
the princess rides into town behind pranc
ing white horses, while the people loudly
cheer, Just as she does in fairy stories.
The Princess Sophie Charlotte of Olden
burg arrived In Berlin seated In a coach
like that In which Cinderella rode to the
ball.
a-— THANKFUL, TOO.
He took a tonic that was claimed
Ten equal ahy five.
You think he Is a well man now?
Oh no, but he’s aJive.
It is not so had to be angry with some
other person, but there Is no meaner
feeling that to be angry with yourself.
A scientist says that the human brain
grows after a person Is twenty-five years
old and "permanent fatigue’’ does not set
In until long after that period of life has
been passed. Another scientist avers that
"permanent fatigue" starts when a man
Is twenty-five and that he ’earns nothing
after that age. The most interesting fea
ture of ‘be discussion is "permanent fa
tigue." It is a happy choice of words and
is no doubt destined to become popular.
It is much more considerate to say that
a man Is troubled with "permanent fa-'
tigue," than to say that he is a jackass
and a loafer.
AVOID TROUBLE.
"Love thy neighbor as thyself,"
That’s the way to keep down strife
But be careful that you don’t
Ever love your neighbor’s wife.
The man with the hoe dropped it yes
terday and hunted up a fire. His garden
must wait. PAUL (
PICTURESQUE CAREER
OF DAVID B. HENDERSON
From the New York World.
! jg^k AVID BREMNER HENDERSON
was known as a soldier without
fear, a statesman without guile
and a prince of good fellows. As a
youth he went to the civil war as lieuten
ant of a band of young men from his
adopted state, Iowa, fought with the
fierceness of a barbarian, was wounded
again and again, and, finally, at Corinth,
had a leg shot away. He remained out of
the war only long enough for his wound
to heal and to become accustomed to
a wooden leg, when hfe again took up
arms, leading this time another conting
ent of Iowans to the front.
Mr. Henderson was a perfect example
of the robust and picturesque westerner,
and might well have been pointed out as
a typical American, yet he was natural
ized to this country. He was born at Old
Deer, Scotland, sixty-flve years ago, and
was brought to this country when six
years old. He finished his education at
Upper Iowa university, studied law and
was admitted to the bar. Meanwhile he
i had come out of the war badly battered,
but with a masterfulness and force that
afterward helped to make him a big fig- |
ure in the councils of the nation. .
Mr. Henderson served In Congress con
tinually for twenty years, from 1883 to
1903, and declined to again be a can
didate when renominated In 1903. For ten
years he was a member of the commit
tee on appropriations; he was chairman
of the judiciary committee and member
of the committee on rules during the
Fifty-fourth and Fifty-fifth Congresses,
and was speaker of the Fifty-sixth and
Fifty-seventh Congresses. Previous to his
Congressional career he was collector of
Internal revenue for the Third Iowa dis
trict, that which he afterward repre
sented at Washington, and was assist
ant United States district attorney for
Iowa, practising law when not in office.
In Washington he was known as
“Good Old Dave” Henderson, equally
popular with republicans and democrats,
noted for his oratorical gifts, his good
nature, his love of humanity .and his
love for song. He possessed a powerful
if not entirely tuneful voice which he
liked to raise in singing Presbyterian
hymns and popular ballads and was cele
brated for his jollity and agreeable com
panionship. He was active in passing the
bankruptcy law, advocated the idea of
the election of senators by direct vote
of the people, was an able champion of
the civil service law, believed In sound
money, and was always the friend In
Congress of the war veteran.
Mr. Henderson wrote a letter to his
mother once a week through his busy J
life and until her death. He was a sin- |
gularly modest character, never by any j
chance referring to his notable career In j
the army, by which he Is ranked as one •
of the nation’s heroes, and it has been [
said of him that he never betrayed a
trust, proved false to friendship or took
undue advantage even of an enemy.
After liis retiremen from Congress he
took up tiie practice of law in New York
city, but the hurry and bustle of the
great metropolis did not suit him and
he soon returned to ills home in Dubuque
to practice his profession. In June of
last.year, a few months after his return
home from New York, he was attacked
with paralysis and paresis, from which
he never recovered.
There wa^ little casting about for can
| didates when Thomas B. Reed resigned
j as speaker' of the House of Representa
tives in 1*99. David Bremner Henderson
I was chosen with almost singular unanim
f
J
lty to control that turbulent body. The
gallery loved dearly to listen to him in
debate. The phases of his character were
many. Distinguished men have laughed
immoderately when Colonel Henderson,
divesting himself of his coat at the liquor
course of a dinner, struck up his pet
song, “There’s a Hole in the Bottom of
the Sea.” and requested every one to join
in the chorus. Here was good nature with
out a dross of alloy. Yet the next morn
ing Colonel Henderson might flay in de
bate the diner with whom he clinked
glasses.
He was somewhat proud of the distinc
tion of being the second alien-born to
occupy the speaker’s chair. The other was
Judge Crisp, who was born in England.
Much fun was always poked at Col
onel Henderson by his confreres because
of his reputation for distributing free
seeds to his constituents. Once, when he
was being ridiculed for his free seed fad,
he calmly felt in his pocket and handed
to his ridiculer a postal card, in a wo
man’s hand. It read: "Dear Congressman
Henderson—John’s Influence can’t be got
with 15 cents' worth of free seeds, but
If you will send me a box of hairpins I
will look out for him. (Signed) His Wife.”
Another communication read: "Why
not let up on seeds for a while and send
Jackknives? In tlmt case radish seeds
would not come up poor turnips.”
When Colonel Henderson refused renom
ination to Congress in 1902, in spite of the
personal pleas of President Roosevelt, it
was said he took this action on the
ground that he opposed tariff revision as
a cure for the - trust evil, and thus was
out of line with many of his constituents.
When he moved from New York to
Dubuque, la., he said: “I am shoved and
Jostled in New York. I see few who know
me. The spirit of sociability is absent.
Hearts are of steel, and faces carry a
look of worry.”
SEABOARD AIR LINE
Emphatically Denies Rumors About
Change In Ownership.
From the Portsmouth. (Va.) Star.
Judge Leigh R. Watts, general counsel
of the Seaboard Air Line railway, when
seen at 'his office In the administration
building of the system this morning, most
positively denied the reports that there
is likely to be a change in the ownership
of the Seaboard system.
His attention was called to the publica
tion headed "Strange Rumor of Seaboard"
—Stories In North Carolina that Williams’
Interest Will Control.” etc.
“Would you object to giving The Star
any information in connection with the
reports?” he was asked.
Judge Watts said: “I have seen and
read the article from the Charlotte Ob
server to which you call attention, and
while as a rule I decline to be interviewed
or to express opinions about matters
touching the Seaboard Air Line railway
and its management. I think under pres
ent circumstances and having reference
to the unrest and demoralization nat
urally occasioned by reports of the char
acter referred to, I am Justified in de
parting. at least for once, from this cus
tom and saying:
"There is not the slightest foundation
in fact for this or any similar report. The
control of the Seaboard Air Line rail
way is now, and has been for many
months, absolutely with Messrs. Blair,
Ryan. Coolidge and their associates. These
gentlemen positively own and control a
very large majority of the capital stock
say 80 per cent, and I can state most
positively that they have no intention of
surrendering or parting with the whole
or any part of the same. On the contrary,
they have an abiding faith in the future
of this property, which they regard as
now assured. They contemplate improve
ments and extensions which will make it
rot only one of the great railway systems
of the country, but a most important and
material factor in the upbuilding and de
velopment of the south.”

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